 Every once in a while I like to help you get inside of my head and let you know that there's a method to my madness if you will. So I want to kind of explain via a story time in good old fashioned tanimojo style about why I say to stop enabling youtubers like tanimojo and others. What is up everybody this is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel my channel is all about mental health and what I like to do is pull different topics from the YouTube community to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. So if you're into that stuff make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell and while you're at it make sure that you're following me over on Instagram at the Rewired Soul as well as Twitter because sometimes the YouTube notification system sucks I always tweet out when a new video is going up over on Instagram I'm trying to get to 10,000 followers so I can get the swipe up feature and I'm so close but anyways follow me on social media I do a lot of stuff over there all right but yeah anyways it's interesting Tristan my beautiful girlfriends over there taking a nap and like I get I get these ideas stuck in my head and one way for me to get those ideas out is to sit down and record a video right and I look at YouTube as a full-time job because it is aside from you know my writing and other things that I'm doing right but there's a reason why I do what I do okay there there's an absolute reason and those of you who know my channel and you're you're here to improve your mental health your emotional well-being and all that stuff like I'm trying to use examples that you're familiar with to teach you valuable lessons so I'm gonna share with you a story a little bit of a story of me working in a rehab and I can give you thousands of stories literally thousands I've been thinking about putting them in a book and by the way for all of my ethics majors out there I am going to change the name of people in this so I don't get sued but yeah there's something called HIPAA so I would never give you the name of you know clients or whoever it is right but I will change the names just to help give you a little bit more you know into the story you know if you will all right so there's a there's a story that always comes to my mind about enabling and I use this story as a way to teach people about what it means to be a good friend right and not enabling people so we're gonna call this gentleman Billy all right so Billy was a client who came in and insurance insurance in the United States isn't that great like I've mentioned before I worked at a very very expensive rehab but if you had good insurance you could stay there but most people could only stay there for 30 to 45 days maximum even though it's recommended to overcome an addiction that you're in treatment for at least in 90 days right but Billy who came in he is somebody who spent most of his life in and out of prison and all that and he was trying to extend his length of stay as much as possible and we were pushing to get him 90 days we have a whole department that is always in communication with insurance companies and they're trying to extend the length of stay especially if somebody needs additional treatment all that so this dude wanted to stay now one thing that you need to know about rehab or mental health treatment Tristan even experienced this working at a psychiatric ward is that there's two type of people that want to stay in treatment two types of people right so there's the first type who wants to stay in treatment because they want more recovery they want more help they want more therapy they want more individual therapy they want more group therapy they really really really want to work on themselves right I love those people I love anybody who's not trying to get out of there as soon as possible and they want to stay there and keep improving on themselves right and it's unfortunate because some people who want to stay there even longer they have crappy insurance well anyways then there's a second type of person who wants to stay in treatment that type of person is somebody who wants to stay in treatment just so they don't have to deal with going back to life right having to go back to work having to deal with you know all the wreckage that they've caused you know especially for drug addicts and alcoholics like myself I totally get that right so they want to stay in treatment well Billy he was the second type all right he was somebody who just wanted to stay in treatment just so he didn't have to deal with all the stuff getting back out there so in treatment you have case management and stuff like that so they're trying to help and you know help you find a job and all of that and Billy was staying in Las Vegas and part of what I did was I would help people after discharge so I was trying to help him find a job I think I was helping him find a job at the local Amazon facility here and stuff well anyways Billy being somebody who was in and out of prison a lot he had that prison mentality you see this a lot in treatment one of the hardest parts about getting sober or staying sober or even working on your mental health is getting away from the old lifestyle so anyways whenever I would do groups I always I remember this clear as day whenever I was doing groups I'd be doing groups in front of 50 60 people you know educational groups or book studies or whatever and Billy would be in the back corner over there like either sleeping or like doing push-ups like like that's what he was doing right not paying attention at all so I'm sitting there and it's none of my business because not my job to extend this guy's treatment but I'm just like this dude is just trying to milk his treatment stay as much as possible and he's not paying attention to a damn thing well here's where the issue came up with mr. Billy so part of what people some people do in prison is they start to get educated right educated about their rights and things like that that's why I don't really take it too personal when people like get crazy in the comment section because some people think that they're smarter than they are so what Billy would do was he he would start to like try to start this like mutiny with other clients right so he would like get other clients together and say oh they're not treating us fairly they're serving as this type of food they're doing this right and like trust I worked at a nice treatment facility like we're talking about like a chef and you know like you got a nice place to stay we had a room service not room service but like maid service so you didn't have to make your bed that was way different than the way I got sober and some of you who like went through treatment at a state funded facility or whatever like you're listening to this like I was I'm like oh my god anyways he kept trying to like get all the other clients wild wild up saying we should talk to lawyers and we should da da da da so the staff pulled Billy aside and they said look Billy like we're trying to help you out we're trying to extend your length of stay like we're gonna need you to chill out right so they gave him a warning they said if you don't chill out we're gonna have to kick you out of treatment so they give him that warning within a day or two Billy's doing it again they pull him aside again they say hey man Billy we're trying to keep you here in treatment but we can't have you trying to cause problems like you need to chill out right so it happened again and it happened again four times four warnings they gave this dude that's a lot more warnings than a lot of people get especially in treatment so on the fifth time on the fifth time they pulled him aside and they said sorry dude we got to get rid of you we got to have you leave right and especially in addiction treatment like like stuff can spread like a virus that's why sometimes they're so harsh kicking people out when they bring drugs in and stuff like that because it could just spread and affect people like I got sober in a sober living one person bringing in drugs five people will relapse it's bananas right so they end up kicking this guy out well that same night that he got kicked out I did a gigantic meeting the last week of every single month and it was at the sober living where like the both the men and the women clients from both of our treatment centers here in Las Vegas would come together and it was huge I'm talking like a hundred plus people right and I would get like my old my old alumni like my clients who had been sober they would sit there and ask questions give out the phone numbers to support other people that's kind of why I have like the support group set up and everything well anyways after that meeting since it's so big everybody would come and want to talk to me right I get so many people who want to talk to me you know ask me questions or thank me or whatever it is and I love it but anyways these young women came up to me not Chris Chris Chris you got to help you got to help you got to help I'm like whoa whoa what is happening what is happening right and they're like you got to help Billy Billy Billy's outside they they and I'm sorry that started giggle like I was a I did a bunch of dumb stuff while I was drinking and using drugs too but anyways they said Billy's outside he's drunk the cops are here and he's handcuffed on the curb all right so basically what happened was after Billy got kicked out after causing his own problem this is why I'm trying to teach you guys not to cause your own problems after he got kicked out he went out and got drunk and the reason I giggled is like I don't know what it is because I have multiple stories like this where people would get drunk or or high and then come back to treatment right after they were like doing something that would get kick get him kicked out you know what I mean like you got to help him you got to help him on like what do you want me to do like this dude had multiple warnings like sorry he's got to pay for you know his consequences like that's that's the way this world works right well anyways I remember the next day of treatment and we had many situations like this I was always very grateful that I never had to be the person who made the decision on who got kicked out or whatever right because addiction could be a deadly disease but I remember the next day like the tension was high between like clients and staff because a lot of people like this dude Billy so I was up there like doing you know doing a group or whatever and I kept getting interrupted I kept getting interrupted and these guys like I can't believe you guys you guys don't care he's a he's sick he's a drug addict he's an alcoholic you guys don't care you kicked him out you guys don't care da da da da and you guys think I give you tough love I said time out time out up in here I'm like you guys want to talk about how we're a bad staff we gave this dude four different warnings and got kicked out on the 5th the fifth time who the hell are you you think that you're a good friend how come not one of you not a single one of you pulled Billy aside and said yo Billy they keep warning you about this stuff how about you chill out man you see what I mean they were enabling him that entire time and then when something bad happened when the consequences caught up to Billy they want to point the finger somewhere else right so this is a prime example of enabling so that's why I talk about enabling when it comes to tanimojo and other youtubers right and it's not just the audience it's not just the stands it's their friends and who they surround themselves with if you look at youtubers and their friends and who surround who they surround themselves with it's a bunch of people enabling them right it's a bunch of people enabling their behavior why do you think tana con happened you watched the documentaries she had a bunch of friends gassing her up how come not one single person pulled tana aside and said yo you shouldn't be trying to run a convention out of anger that that's not good right but we as viewers need to think about the part that we're playing in enabling them to the positive reinforcement that we're giving them the views the subscriptions buying their merch right we are we are giving them positive reinforcement so why would they stop why would they ever stop doing what they're doing when we are enabling that behavior right but the second commentator on youtube says something bad about that person you run to their defense all right do you want to be a friend like billy had do you want to be one of those people who lets these people get go out there and receive consequences for what they're putting out publicly online do you want to be that person and then sit in denial like you weren't enabling them the whole time right so i also want you to think about this how does this happen with your own friends are you enabling their behaviors i used to surround myself with with enablers people who sat around co-signing my bs behaviors everything that i was doing and it was keeping me sick all right this is why i always tell you the best friends in your life will tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear okay and and i hate to make such a comparison but when you look at you know the people that have passed away when you look at people like mac miller when you look at people like little peep when you look at other celebrities who have passed away when everybody on earth knew about the issue but they didn't do anything about it right so i'm not saying tanimojo is gonna die which you know would be a scary thing because like i've mentioned in other videos like she abuses prescription medications all right we're talking aterol we're talking xanax we're talking prescription opioids we've seen video of her driving a car while high and crashing it and friends laughing and all of that right so think about that think about that for a second and then we want to push the blame on everybody else or act like there's nothing we could have done about it when we've been enabling these people for years all right so that's what i wanted to say and this was the thing that was on my mind i hope you enjoyed that story time if you want me to do more videos like this kind of explaining like real life scenarios that i've been in that i've dealt with whether in my own recovery or whether working in treatment or whatever like every single thing i teach you on this channel is something that i've witnessed whether it's people failing or people succeeding right i know sometimes it feels like i focus on the negative but i also try to point out when people are succeeding like this whole thing with improving your mental health is not doing what isn't working and finding people who are doing things that do work and emulating that behavior right but the problem that we have which i have more videos coming out on is people emulate the negative influences and then they wonder why their life is so hectic and a mess you know what i mean anyways if you like me doing more story time type of videos to kind of intertwine these two things a little bit more without all you know without neuroscience or psychology just my personal experience let me know down in the comments below all right anyways that's all i got for this video if you like this video please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because i make a ton of videos and a huge huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon you're all amazing and if you would like to become a patron click or tap right there all right and please please don't forget to follow me over on instagram at the rewired soul and i'm also the same on twitter all right thanks again for watching i'll see you next time