 That was good. I just want to tell you, you can't be graphic at all. Oh, yes. Yeah, I would love that. I'm trying. I found Shannon. Yeah. There's no one-size-fits-all anymore. I am in a relationship with someone that I live with, that's an open relationship, and I'm extremely happy and fulfilled in that space. What do you mean by that? An open relationship. So I wanted to bring you on, or we decided to do this together, because there is a lot of questions or intrigue about our relationship, and a lot of this was brought up because of my appearance on The View. And what I was saying, which is why I love you so much, is that you were the first person I told to actually watch it after I finished it. What? Really? I didn't know that. For those of you guys who didn't watch, they will put a couple clips in here and there, but more or less, a lot of it was focused on our style of relationship. So if you're a man, was out with another woman, wasn't sleeping with her, but was having intimate contact in a way, like talking in a certain way, would you be a man then? Just curious. Do you want kids? How do you have the conversation with your children to explain your lifestyle, because it is non-traditional? I don't think that you would then get pissed off if your man was out with somebody else. I don't know that! At your home with the kid? Yeah, I can't foreshadow. How old is the kid? Deal breaker. A person stood up and said, a lot of millennials get into these some-time-ish relationships where they're not quite committed, they're kind of in this weird limbo gray space. And I said to that person, like, if you find yourself wanting to commit to somebody who's not making that adjustment for you, there's a billion people on this planet. Like, is no excuse to be in relationships anymore that make you feel sad or don't make you feel celebrated. Me, for example, I'm in an open relationship and that works for me. And I advocate for my needs and I'm in a relationship that fits who I am. And saying that was like, boom! There's like a... negative connotation on certain words and, at least in America, that spark an immediate reaction or immediate assumption of what we have. And open means, like, a lot of people take that as like... Swingers. Swingers or take that as like, oh, you know, he's just going around, you know, having sex whoever he wants to have sex with, but it's not... that's not... I guess the greatest representation of what we got going on. If you were to go out and see somebody that intrigues you, who am I to tell you or to steal that from you or to take that from you because you are Shannon and you're your own person. I'm not Shannon, you know what I'm saying? I'm Jared and I'm only here to support Shannon and to help her grow and help her get to the place that she wants to get to. And so, for me, I think that instead of... I don't want people to think that I'm or we're telling people this is the way to do it and this is the only way to do it. I think it's more of like, no, this is just what works for us and it may work for you guys and if it doesn't, that's okay. You're not a weird or alien. I'm not judging you for how you want to live your life. If you feel more comfortable in a closed relationship off limits to anything and everyone, that's great. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. As long as you're happy and as long as you keep continuing to grow. I mean, that's the way I view it. And that's what I was trying to express a million times but there was still this need to pass judgment and to tell me that it wasn't going to work or that it doesn't work or like almost excited for the time that it doesn't work anymore. It doesn't work anymore. Be that kids or marriage. And that's what I think what makes this relationship really suitable for me and the way that we even got into our relationship was not conventional. Right. We started off more or less with friends with benefits but I should actually clip an interview that I did where I spoke about how amazing my friends with benefits relationship was. Like how happy I was in it, how celebrated, how at peace and a lot of people can see friends with benefits while someone's being emotionally manipulated. You know, someone's getting their heart broke but it genuinely was an amazing, honest, open, pure friends with benefits and then it became like an amazing, honest, open, pure something more. Whatever the hell we were for this like gray space where we really weren't seeing other people I saw you four times a week and then it became you live with me. Yeah, yeah. He's like but everything has been awesome. You know what I mean? Like it's never been like let's have the talk. Let's figure this out. It's been more like a natural evolution of me getting closer to you and us searching for terms to help other people understand what that is. Right. Which is, I mean I've I haven't been in too many relationships but the relationships that I have been in they always developed out of someone going so what are we? What are we doing? Why are we doing this? What's going on? Why don't you make me your girlfriend? And it's so I guess like pressure driven that it never really worked out for me and like with the way we grew into whatever we have it seems like organic, natural and it flows it has a stream. You know I'm not swimming upstream to make this work it's just continuously going and I'm excited to see where it goes and excited to see where you know what I mean it takes us and just let it ride from there. I really felt like I was speaking for anybody who's in a non-conventional relationship and whether that means for you sexually monogamous or sexually available or emotionally monogamous or emotionally available it doesn't matter and it really wasn't meant to be an expose of my personal life but more to answer the question of that young person of what do I do when I find myself in a relationship style that doesn't suit what my desires are. Open relationship doesn't mean for us I don't know what it means for anybody else but for us it doesn't mean open to whatever comes I think it's more of like if something came a woman or a man came that sparked an interest we talk about it. How do I experience this woman without compromising how you feel how do you experience this man without compromising what I feel. What drives me crazy is that people automatically say like oh I couldn't do it because I'm just way too jealous in every area of your life you have to mitigate your jealousy being a human naturally means you're competing for resources that's what your brain is hardwired to do so you're jealous when someone hangs out with your best friend you're jealous when your boss gives favor to another co-worker but the difference is you're not allowed in those relationships to be like no you're only supposed to like me and no one else but this is a one place I think people are so this is what I think I think when you are angry or you feel disgusted by our relationship style it's because it threatens something inside of you you're afraid to deal with and it has nothing to do with me so when people anything in life whenever somebody has a reaction to something that doesn't match the stimulus I automatically remove myself from the equation I'm like oh this has nothing to do with me this is something you're dealing with and working with and I just sparked that insecurity in you so people who want permission to feel jealous to have ownership over someone because you can't do it anywhere else in life really hold on true to this situation and again we're saying that if you found a partner where that is a priority for them that sense of ownership and exclusivity is a priority for them it's a priority for you it sounds like you have a fucking great relationship you know what I mean but for you and I we did that test that I did I was so excited to do with you both of our main things were securely attached yeah yeah I think that's the most important thing at least for me it's like I need whoever I'm with to know that I need you to trust me 100% and to trust that I wouldn't continue a to continue to grow with you if I felt like somebody else was more important to you than you if I'm still here continuing to grow with you it's because you're the most important thing in my life you know what I mean and so if I and I think that's what's so weird for me is that I've never I haven't had an experience with somebody else since we started so I don't know I guess we'll deal with that if it comes and when it comes it's vice versa you know if you I don't even know what I'm trying to say about you but I'm only talking about I don't want to put anything in your words I don't want to put anything in her brain but how I feel about it is until then until we get to that place where oh I want to experience somebody else we'll deal with that when it comes and it hasn't came yet I think a lot of people ruin relationships off of what ifs and we'll ruin relationships off of or maybe's and ruin relationships off of like my friend Stefan he just told me a story about one of his coworkers broke up with his girlfriend they've only been dating for three months but he broke up with her because he didn't want kids and he didn't want to get married you were dating her for three months and she never I guess from what he told me she never put that on him he just wanted to stop it before it got to a certain place he just ruined something that could have been great because he was afraid of hurting somebody when he didn't even know that's what she wanted or that she didn't that's not what she wanted so it was just kind of like so many people what I mean to say so many people make decisions off of maybe's what ifs or you know what they have in their own mind you know and I don't want to do that I don't want to carry anything that's not mine I don't want to carry anything that's not real I don't want to carry anything that's not true so anything that's not here in the present reality hard proof I see it in front of my eyes I'm not even getting it nah I'm fucking with that that's what you were saying that's the gift that you want to give to all people yeah like the gift that I want to give to everyone is to stop picking up shit that's not yours stop picking up problems stop picking up stress stop picking up worries stop picking up anything that's not yours to carry if it's yours to carry deal with it reason with it figure it out in yourself but if you're going to be making things up in your mind off of you know certain things what's the point in living you're not experiencing anything you're experiencing everything in your mind what were your feelings when you watched it have you watched it back I've not watched it back I just remember certain parts of it I remember the feeling of shock when they turned on me and I appreciated it because I think when you have your own platform you collect like minds so a lot of people agree with me all the time once in a while I get the douchebag dudes who you've commanded me to stop replying to but more than anything else all of them are women that I've seen recently but you know what that's only honestly because of New York Times and The View yeah I mean this prior to New York Times and The View it was only dudes calling me a slut and since those two outlets came out it's been women attacking me my self-esteem my school my right to have a voice that's been the new wave so how do you feel about that it hurts what is it that bugs you about it you know what it is it's like and I was saying this to you yesterday I was afraid to even have you on this because I love what I do for a living I think I'm really good at it I'm really proud of the work that I do I'm proud of my impact so when people attack me about that it makes me second guess myself in an area that I was super confident and happy and so even in our relationship I love you like I told you yesterday I'm just like so happy you're around I'm so grateful that you're in my life you make my life easier and more fun and effortless and so I don't want anybody to attack that I don't want to second guess the way that I feel about you or if you're a good fit for me because some fuck job in Nevada who doesn't know me you know watch something of mine and made this super critical assessment of something that to me is already perfect and so it hurt because also I just want to expect that kind of hate from women I kind of expected from men more so and so when a woman attacks something that again like I told people I'm like if I'm doing something wrong report me to the labor board if I'm not why are you coming at me because that's the thing I think if you if you think about think about why more instead of thinking about what they're saying if you think about why more it's like it's it's funny look at their AV you know what I'm saying look at little things that that indicate like who that person is because if anybody's confident in anything they do not a ill word will come out of them mm-hmm doesn't matter I do as I'm saying too like we were having this conversation after the view where for a minute you were going into the space of I bet those women's husbands ba ba ba I bet that they're actually this and then I corrected you I'm like yo we're not doing anything different in that case yeah if we're saying well I bet their relationship isn't we don't know the facts when someone tells me they're happy I trust them when someone says they're in a good relationship even if I feel differently like my friend yesterday came to me and asked what's your honest opinion on my relationship we both have our own honest opinion of that but the real truth of the matter is yo if you're happy in that if the moments where it's good outweigh all the times I see you emotionally struggling what can I say I would never even say anything if they weren't coming at you I would never think to them oh you know what they can't even say you know what I'm in a happy marriage relationship and my husband can look but he can't touch in my mind I'm gonna be like okay we'll see how long he's looking you know what I'm saying let's see how long he's looking for 10 plus years you're gonna let him look at a girl's ass fill up on whatever you want to do but he can't touch he can't move on it great that's fine you and I both know what eyes can do so if he's looking because wife lets him look if a man is looking at you and you want somebody you're gonna go for that and maybe he can turn down one, two, three, four women that he's been looking at get to 50 women that come at him if he's a good looking dude get to 50 women of all cause they're opening the door for this girl to walk up to you and say something you're opening the door to go on social media and say something because you're looking at him you know what I mean he's not gonna go talk to his wife about it cause he's not allowed to touch and maybe he can say maybe he can say no to the first 10 hit a 50 after 10 plus years I guarantee he's gonna touch one of them I'm just looking at the number statistic deductive reasoning that's all it is I'm looking at biological everything so at the end of the day I wouldn't go up to her and be like you're doing this and you're wrong if that's how you want to live your life that's great but don't be surprised if you catch your husband you're doing something I like the fact that I have the option I like the fact that I have you to talk to I even overshare with you on things that I probably shouldn't but I said I really consider you a partner and I appreciate that I can trust you to be honest without that meaning a conflict of what we have and if it is a conflict I have the opportunity to talk to you before you go talk to your friends first and before you form an opinion or a bias or you get heart broken by me I'm the first person that you digest everything with yeah and that's the thing that's what I was saying like you know forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest I'm gonna let that sit in y'all for a second but there's little there's some rules you know what I mean there's some things that like is there any rules for me yeah I would not I told you hard and fast if I find out about someone else via someone else be that your phone be that someone telling me something that would be a deal breaker because I've given you every opportunity to be honest and to come to me and if you still feel the need to sneak around like you're just a shithead to me and we're not compatible to have the kind of relationship that I would feel honored in so you know what's actually amazing with that even too like I've never checked your phone before I've literally never checked your phone before your email is open our emails are always open at the same time you've never gone through your email John you can have a gaze you can have a gaze all in there there's nothing special in there but I mean like that if anything if I've given you all access and so far you've told me that there's been nothing that you've desired dang so far I feel like there's been nothing that you have chased in that way I could try to affirm it by going through your things but I just don't even feel the desire to do that I mean because that of course if you asked you can go through my phone I would feel upset and annoyed with it but not from the fact of why why would you, why do you not trust my word for this have I ever given you a reason to not believe anything that I say so that from that perspective I would be like that's kind of whack I mean go ahead have a gaze hope it makes you feel better but you know at some point it's it might be something that you need to do and it's open to that you can have that it's okay it's not weird for you to want to go through my phone it's securely attached to Clarify means the ability to let someone go and trust that if it's in their heart's desire they'll come back to you for the love that you have so somebody who securely attached can watch somebody walk away around the corner not see them and not go into a panic attack like I think yours in my communication is not very high we talk a fuck lot and we spend a lot of time together but I'm not a very big text or phone person neither am I so there'll be like you'll go to work I'll talk to you when you come home it's not like during the day I'm keeping up with you and that's because I trust you're having a good day and I trust that something bothered you you can reach out to me and you trust that if you need me you can call me and vice versa but I don't have to check in with you constantly I talk to you when I want to not because I feel like I need to do that in order to make sure that you're doing the right thing and that you're acting accordingly so securely attached is a very big thing for me as well too because of the fact so I should ask you this question so not only are you in an open relationship with somebody who could possibly have experience with other people you also know that I have a YouTube channel where I do have other dudes on there yeah does that bother you? no it doesn't bother me because um I look at it like this like if I were to be doing music right if I'm on tour, if I'm on stage when I'm on stage that person that's on stage is for them you hear what I mean? and when you're on your YouTube that's for all the people that are watching out here you get what I mean? that's not for me that's not mine that's not something that I can say hey you can't do this, this is weird this is making me look bad it has nothing to do with me in that atmosphere, in that realm in that arena that's yours so whatever you decide to do in that arena that's yours if I'm in my arena and I'm doing what I do that's what I decided to do to further something for us you get what I'm saying? like you said before when you're in an acting and let's say I do a role where I have to kiss somebody or I have to have a sex scene with somebody that is okay in closed relationships people do that you know what I'm saying? people don't have a talk with their wife they have booked a role but I have to do this most of the time they're gonna say I'm gonna swallow my pride and let you do this because I know that it's a bigger purpose so for me it doesn't bother me it doesn't bother me at all no I don't feel threatened by any of them and that's I think what is like we discussed for some reason when you get into a relationship with somebody you start personalizing everything all day long I see good looking dudes you'll see good looking women like that's a normal part of being a human I don't expect for you to become a totally separate person because you now have an attachment to me and that's even in the last we did this a second time not really we kinda did this another time we made the fear vlog but in that vlog I said to you as a joke not even as a joke I don't know what the fuck I was saying I was like who do you belong to oh yeah and you were like why belong to you and you asked me in return and I was like I belong to you I said it weird because I shouldn't say it in the first place because that really is counterintuitive of what it is that we built that is a part of the love that I have and share with you that I wanna be your best case scenario and I'm not afraid of competing with someone else so I don't own you I'm just the best person for you I'm your partner I'm the person that is more than just a desire is more than just a lust I'm the one that you come home with and that you talk about your hard day within that you talk about your family with like that's me so that's who Shannon is to you but you're still you to you you still have the right to give yourself and give your time to other people I just ask to be a part of that in partnership and also another thing that I wanna add on to the end of everything is it is always evolving and it is continually growing so today this is where we're at I can't tell you what we're gonna be at in 10 years so all the what ifs questions all that shit that they were doing on the view was eating at me because it was like what what if what do you mean what if what is what if you know what I mean a make believe story that you put in your mind come on man like what happens and if it doesn't happen we don't deal with it so it's just like if we grow into different people and we grow into different things and we grow into different worlds and we decide you know what let's try it this way that's open for discussion for that too so you know that's what I want everyone to know is that stop judging that's it just stop judging like look at yourself first figure out yourself first and then we can have a conversation because I'm trying to figure out myself she's trying to figure out herself we're not trying to look at you and figure you out that's it I was saying like in the last closing point um I would like a world where we stop thinking about what's normal and start thinking about what actually suits us I sing to the day that a lot of people would trade in their authentic skin for a normal looking coat that helped them to blend in with society so every relationship that you get into shouldn't be like well here's the rules that society has prescribed for us let's both of us who are two separate individuals with our own thoughts, dreams, desires and needs subscribe to those let's the two of us sit down and define rules or define boundaries or labels that actually fit what we need who we are because there's nothing worse than forcing someone in a relationship style that doesn't fit their actual needs then they feel crushed inside of it they feel minimized inside of it and when they act out they feel like shit then you feel like shit because you're betrayed but that could have been avoided by just saying who are you what do you need and how could we create a situation that actually sets you up for success because I don't want to hurt you I don't want to disappoint you I want you to be proud to be with me and I know for a fact that what we share what every man could do that I'm not the ideal partner for everybody but I'm ideal for you but I only know that because I was honest with you about who I am right exactly two share in two day okay so this is not a closed conversation amongst us either so what Jared and I have talked about doing is that because we are representing a non-conventional style of relationship we are open to questions and we are open to examining this with you guys you know minus the judgment would be ideal so we're going to start something on a separate channel that's going to be in this similar style where it's just us filming our life we're filming an activity or filming something that we're taking on together in partnership and then afterwards having like mature dialogue about it and so we invite you guys to come on that maybe we'll have other people on that channel as well too but it's really an opportunity for people to examine life you know I love the quote life is not worth living and so that second channel is really an opportunity for me to do that I mean it will focus heavily on relationships and sexuality because that's what I love talking about but it's not going to be limited to just that yeah it's going to be good I mean I'm not too fond of cameras and stuff but yes you are but nah not really I get weird when spotlight gets on me don't play yourself I do I can't front but you know when I'll get used to it and I'll be a better speaker so I apologize for everyone with my broken English you did great so we just left of you how did it feel you're lying you were not you were shitting yourself nobody hates Michelle Obama as much as a lot of people want to try to they just simply can't I want to learn from someone like that and so I took the opportunity I went to New Hampshire I almost hit you so hard Shini