 I don't know if you guys are familiar with Gary Vee or Gary Vaynerchuk if you will but sometimes during his talks he'll be like how many of you in the audience when you first met me or first heard about me you thought I was completely full of crap and you see a bunch of hands go up and I was definitely one of those people. What is up everybody this is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel my channel is all about mental health and what I like to do is pull different topics from the YouTube community to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. So if you're into that stuff make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. Now Gary Vee has a ton of books but did you know that I got some books too? So my most recent book Rewire Your Anger and the next one is Rewire Your Anxiety which I'm working on. Rewire Your Anger is now available on Audible. It took a while to figure out how to get it up on Audible but it's finally up over there. So if you're an Audible listener like I am go check it out. It's over on Audible. I think it's like less than five dollars. I think it's like four dollars and 87 cents something like that and it's about I think the recording narrated by myself. It's like an hour and some odd minutes something like that but anyways the link will be down in the description as well as in the pinned comment if you want to check it out. Alright so those of you who don't know who Gary Vaynerchuk is or he goes by Gary Vee. Gary Vee is somebody who you know he's an immigrant and he helped build his father's wine business and now he owns his own company and pretty much he you know does a lot of speaking and does daily content and all that stuff but anyways there's a lot of people who don't like Gary Vee and I'm definitely one of those people like he kept he kept popping up everywhere I was looking and it was right around the time I started my YouTube channel was trying to like grow this thing and all that he kept popping up everywhere and I'm gonna make a video more in depth on this later but like I absolutely hated motivational speakers I just hated them you know and a lot of it is because my own personal skepticism and you know trust issues and all of those things right and Gary Vee you know even though he has a massive audience he still has a lot of people that don't like what he does and in this video I want to talk about something that I think you know we can pull from this and try to improve our own mental and emotional well-being so I was going through some Gary Vee clips to try to find what I was looking for but I actually came across this and I think this brings up an amazing topic. Something that I know is fundamentally universal for everybody there there there there anybody in this room one thing that I know is fundamentally universal is that nobody is gonna cry for you they have their own tears one thing one thing I'm positive about is how ROI negative complaining is and how much I'm trying to suffocate the practice of it. I really have been fascinated by people that have changed their mindset into understanding that everything that is not going well right now is their fault. Boom right there right there okay so what Gary Vee is talking about right there is like this this like sense of entitlement okay and this is something that so many of us struggle with and here's the thing there is a psychological theory which talks about locus of control okay so something that Gary Vee talks about is everything's my fault everything is my fault okay and what that is is that's locus of control so people who have an external locus of control they believe that external sources are pretty much what depicts their destiny okay if you're not doing well enough or anything like that or if you're going to succeed it's based on all these external factors okay studies have proven that people with an external locus of control are more depressed as well as more anxious and think about it it's because you feel like you have no control over your own you know your own destiny if you will you know what I mean but people who have an internal locus of control they are people who get into the solution because they believe that everything that happens is a result of what they're doing okay people with an internal locus of control have less signs of depression and less signs of anxiety because they are taking accountability all right so I'm actually reading a book right now and it's called the subtle art of not giving a right and this has been recommended to me forever but I looked at this book I'm like I don't want to read this it probably don't have any science or anything like that I need proof I need proof from somebody right but it's actually a phenomenal book and he dives into a lot of science and psychology and things like this but it's also really funny but anyways one of the parts I just recently left left off on was this entitlement right and it got me thinking about Gary V and how this affects our mental health and so many of us are entitled so so there's two sides of entitlement right and here's something that a lot of people struggle with is I feel like I'm the best thing on earth and I'm the worst right so and both of those come with their own set of entitlement and this is something that Gary Vaynerchuk touches on a lot so there's this entitlement and the way Gary V talks about is like the audacity that people have right so on one side of entitlement it's almost narcissistic in the way it's like I'm the best thing since sliced bread right I am so amazing I deserve everything like why do I even have to work for this thing because I deserve everything you don't understand how amazing I am or what I have to offer I deserve this right you see this happening you know even in the dating scene I haven't been in the dating scene for a couple years now but you see people like that right like I'm so beautiful you would be lucky you would be lucky to have me right so there's a balance between like confidence and being like a cocky d-bag right but on the opposite end of entitlement is people who are the victim right and this is something that I was just constantly the victim you know so as the son of an alcoholic mom as you know a kid who you know had traumatic experiences you know all the things that I went through in my life this world owed me something right if you knew how difficult my life was you would just hand me everything you know what I mean and this is something that I know a lot of you struggle with too maybe a lot of you have overcome that because here at the Rewired Soul we talk about the problem but we focus on the solution because the longer we sit around and think that this world owes us something we are running a fool's errand I sat in misery for so many years causing my own suffering because I felt like this world owed me something and one of the biggest aha moments that I had was this world and its people doesn't owe me a damn thing let me repeat that for the people in the back this world and its people does not owe you a damn thing all right and once we start recognizing that then we start taking control of our own lives then we start improving our mental health so when I was first starting out on my recovery journey both from my addiction as well as you know improving my mental health you know my sponsor or a mentor if you will he taught me something that's actually in my book Rewire Your Anger where he he showed me how many things were my fault how many things right I had a list you know this part of an inventory and self-reflection writing down all these things all these things that were pissing me off right and he would always ask me he's like Chris did you make any decisions that puts you in that situation right so when we're talking about ex-girlfriends when we're talking about jobs that I've lost we're talking about all these other things like when I trace those breadcrumbs back there was one common denominator and that was me all right like why were these things happening to me you know and don't get me wrong there are things completely outside of your control you know like for example me being the son of an alcoholic mother outside of my control okay I did not control that in any way shape or form but you know what I did control how long I chose to blame her and sit in that misery and not improve my own life how long I sat and chose to blame her while it was affecting people like my son my kids mom my friends my other family members my my co-workers my bosses and all those things because I was sitting in that and not getting in the slew the solution the longer I held on to that resentment it was affecting everybody else so while I didn't have control over my mom or my upbringing I did have control of me sitting in the problem now I know it's easier said than done when Gary V talks it's easier said than done but let me tell you all right now it is the most empowering thing that will ever happen in your life okay when you look at your current situation when you look and you notice that you are not in a place where you are happy okay and then you say what can I do about this what is in my control what is in this internal locus of control your life starts to get amazing all right so living this way I no longer blame people places or situations for my outcomes all right you know what I do I double down I work harder and I look to improve these things so so many of us so many of you out there who watch this is something that I used to struggle with as well is that I blamed my poor mental health on everybody and everything right if if my mom would just be this way if my dad would just be this way if my boss would just be this way if my job with us be this way if the customers would just be this way if my friends would just be this way all these other things right and that is staying in the problem right some of you are sitting there in your own misery right now blaming everybody else for how you feel okay and this is something that we have to stop doing because like I always say it's a lot easier for us to fix us and the way that we perceive the world than it is to try to fix everybody else because trying to fix everybody else is again running the fool's errand think about the last time somebody really got you to change you know what I mean and think about how hard it was if you're somebody who has been fortunate enough to change so why don't we take control back work on ourselves and analyze every situation and say what can I do about this what is in my control okay you don't like your job guess what you can quit that job now it comes with some consequences maybe you're gonna make less money maybe you're gonna be behind on some bills right but you are in control the more you realize that you are in control I promise you your life is gonna get better all right so while a bunch of people do hate Gary V for calling them out on their crap and suffocating these excuses it is one of the best things that can happen in your life when you start suffocating your own excuses all right but anyways don't forget rewire your anger is now available over on audible so go check it out if you haven't yet all right and if you like this video please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell and a huge huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon you are all amazing and over on patreon don't forget if you have the $20 here or up all my books are free so make sure you go check the post because I uploaded them over there all right thanks again for watching I'll see you next time