Write us a letter! The Key of Awesome P.O. Box 30921 New York, NY 10011
Written and Performed by Mark Douglas Directed by Tom Small
LYRICS I'm not afraid to piss and moan About my feelings and how I've grown I've got no sense of humor about myself But I take shots at everyone else I'm like a kid and god forbid People call be out on stupid things that I did
Damn. It's really bright up here. I guess I shoulda brought some sunglasses. If I knew we were shooting a video outside Now some of you might be on your roof talking to your self too. But your not famous rappers, so no one cares. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going downstairs.
You can try to throw away my lyric sheets before I can read em Ha! too bad I got em memorized I don't even need em Yeah I still got homophobic rhymes but you can't get upset Cus that fag Elton John and I once did a duet To my fans, I apologize for ruining your life I'll get back to writing songs about murdering my wife He spits his lines in perfect time without any rehearsin' Sometimes he rhymes about himself in the third person His rapping is hilarious or completely serious And if you make fun of him then he will get frikkin furious Cus he can dish it out but he just can't take it Like a baker who hates cake, but always bakes it Who's this dude looking at me? He looks just like me He's clocking me mocking me, I think he wants to fight me Ow, I tried to hit the man but he broke my hand and then he ran Musta been a crazed fan. Oh, damn, there he is again (alternate line) Oh no maybe it was Stan? I'm not afraid to throw a chair its from IKEA so I don't care I'm bumping into people on the street I'm wearing Shape Ups on my feet I'm just like you. I've been there too. I'm rich and famous so I take that back it's not true It was my decision to do drugs, I did it for fun but now I'm done Now I'll go back to making puns about Kim Karshiun and her two tons buns of fun so gargantuan that they block out the sun I'm the worlds greatest rapper, a fact that's undisputed But for some reason I act like I am persecuted If you think I'm a turkey well then you can just stuff it I'm the only MC to have a beef with a puppet I could rap about, Afghanistan, Iraq or BP But I'd rather make fun of some minor celebrities Here's a list of people that I'd like to impeach Patricia Headon, Will Weaton, Ruben Studdard, and Screech But I won't diss Kanye or Lil Wayne that ain't fun They're both really nice, they ain't hurt no one But, screw Michael J. Fox, cus he shakes when he walks Aren't you glad that I'm back to get this message across I'm not afraid to get really pissed At all my critics that hardly exist I'm such whiny baby I'll keep complaining I'm rich as hell my records sell I'm such an ass, but I get a pass People love me cus I can rhyme words really fast
(alternate ending) And now I'm jumping from the top floor, it's a metaphor, but I'm not sure what for I got super powers just like Jesus You can say my name when somebody sneezes Can someone yell cut I want to go back up Oh man, what the fuuuuuuu