 So this is kind of a weird video, but I've been doing some thinking and I figured hey Why not get on here and talk a little bit about it and maybe you guys can learn something or just laugh at me whatever you prefer I'm 22 and I want to learn to be confident now when we talk about confidence right in the context of being a Christian like should Christians be confident is that boastful is that is that not humble thing to do well? You know generally when I think about confidence I think about look Yeah, we're not supposed to be prideful so or boastful so like you know we do something and we're like it's all about me You know pumping our chest that kind of thing But confidence I think is a is more of a security in the talents and abilities and gifts that God has given us It's just a security in like somebody's gonna say something to us. It's not gonna rock our world It's gonna not gonna like tear us down. We are secure. Oh dog barking nice We are secure in God's in what God says of us, right? That's like the confidence in him It's not this like going out to shout to everybody. How awesome am I it's like I'm secure and Confident to be able to get done what I need to get done because God's power and his presence is in me and with me and all that stuff and Yeah, so anyway to get to I don't know though the whole point of this video out for the last For as long as I can remember. I've not been a confident person, right? I may purport to be I'll maybe on social media You watch me like well He's really confident being able to like, you know talk on social media and stuff and say a bunch of stuff But if you meet me in person and maybe I might even like be in a mood where I'm like really uppity and really I don't know extraverted but generally that's not the case generally I feel pretty insecure honestly, and it's just like now that I'm trying to figure out why that is why I feel I don't know just this like lingering like I Don't know it just I feel like I don't know if I'm the only one that experiences I feel like I should be over this at my age like at my age of 22 But seriously it's like no like I don't know people like yeah We love confident people confident people that know that what they're doing There's some people that just have like an air of confidence around them And I just feel like I'm not one of those people and I think that has to do with a lot of things I think it has to do with my own perception of myself like as much as I preach on here about look see yourself as how God sees you And you know when God says you are you know He delights in you and you're fearfully and wonderfully made and all that stuff and like that take that to heart and use that as Like fuel for confidence and for security and him. I feel like I catch myself Saying terrible stuff to myself like there are times when I'm in this like productive space where I'm getting things done And I feel good about myself and I'm and I'm making something of my life and that kind of thing And then there are other times where I'm not and I can't figure out what the best thing is to do Or I can't figure out what I even should do and I just feel like garbage and I just feel like man What I'm such a loser and and all that stuff and and So what I'm trying to do is figure out, okay, what's the root of all this like guilt and shame and and self condemnation self-hate and and all that stuff and Because I want to get to the the source of it because right now It's like I kind of have a toxic relationship with social media and I don't like to admit that but it's kind of true in in some ways because like man, like the numbers they do Impact how I feel like it's really like I would like that not to be the case, but it's just true It's like okay. I get you know I post a video and it gets like a thousand views or two thousand views and I'm like, oh man This is awesome. This is great for me And then I post another videos got like 300 views and I'm like, what did I do wrong? Like what you know and and obviously you're like, but I just use that as motivation to get better in the next one And just you know find out what you did wrong and and do it and I'm like, yeah, but it's not as simple I don't know sometimes and it can be frustrating and also it's like I tie so much of my identity to what I do Because that's just what nature is we just do that even though we're not supposed to do that because that's not good Because that's not even where we should be finding our identity. That's not where we find our self-worth in what we do But it's inevitable that I find myself this war going on where I'm like I Am defined by what I do online and when that's not going as well as I as I wanted to Then it kind of backs how I feel about myself and to go full circle and in fact affects my confidence Especially in person like if I'm meeting new people and stuff like that like They're like, what do you do? I'm like, well, I do a bunch of different things I have a bunch of different jobs But my main passion is like daily disciple and my ministry and they're like, you know, they they're interested in it And I'm just kind of like yeah, but don't don't pay too much attention to the numbers It's like, oh, they're like only a thousand views or on YouTube video. I'm like, I mean, that's a good video for me But to them it's like, oh, well, you know, I follow people that have millions of followers and stuff like that and And so it's tough. It's like one of those things where And obviously it hasn't been so bad to where I've quit like I'm never quitting. You guys know that But I'm just telling you the thoughts and feelings behind What I'm trying to work on and heal from and it's like I gotta stop treating social media as like a I don't know it can tear me down so easily when I tie my identity into it But it can build me up so fast if something goes well like To the extent where look if I post a tiktok right now and it does really well like it got 10 000 views And I'm just being honest with you guys I would feel really good about that. I feel like oh man, this is good and I have a good evening But if I were to post a tiktok right now and it were to get 300 views I'd feel like garbage be like, okay I'd be processing throughout the the rest of the night trying to make something that's gonna Get me that hit that I need in order to feel good And obviously that's not the full motivation of what I'm doing Like I'm passionate about making content and videos and stuff because I want you guys to follow Jesus daily Like I truly believe that's the heart of what I'm doing But what crowds in on that and what gets in the way of that is like My self-worth and wanting to feel like I'm making a difference and making an impact in in your lives and in people's lives And sometimes that's hard to know and when you don't feel like that's the case you you Man it tears me up And like I have to say like it's been great over the last Months like God has been really kind to me and bringing more people to check out daily disciples content and all that stuff But even still I find myself like I don't know cowering away from even people like older than me Like I don't know like, you know people my dad's age or something like that where I'll just be like I don't know. I just feel embarrassed for myself. Like I'm not measuring up to where I should be or like I'm not in university or You know like who am I am I just to screw up like that's how And I know that's dark. I know like whatever this is a therapy session. That's fine But that's how I feel sometimes And so and maybe you feel that way too Um, I guess is what I want to go all the way around to try to relate Maybe you're you're going through this to you You're in a spot where you feel like you're not where you should be You're not like in the career that you feel like people would respect or you're not Like whatever it is and and that's taken a big hit on on how you feel about yourself and how you frame your day to day And and all that stuff And something I've been exploring is is kind of this idea two ideas First thing is reframing so looking at a situation looking at your day to day and and trying to look at it from a You know a different perspective trying to take on other people's perspective Maybe if you were like a friend looking in on this How would you see the situation and how would you feel about it? And what would you say being able to take that outside situation outside perspective and uh and reframe a situation Or look at it from a different angle. That's one thing Also, it's understanding that look What we do the numbers the the the accolades the the productivity the Like all that stuff we built that stuff up so much in our hearts and our minds that we we we it's so personal to us Right like that defines us And when when that doesn't go exactly as we want it man, we're crushed and And I guess I just want to say is that Like when you're when you become aware of that It is not just a thing that you can just like snap out of like because obviously you know that because I've Said on this channel multiple times that it's like that I've kind of struggled with this and this like feeling of not being enough Not enough Not working hard enough all that stuff and you're like Isaac you knew that so why don't you just fix it? Well, you can't just fix it. It's a battle. It's a continual like thing throughout the day that I'm like forced to Take a deep breath pray to god guide. I'm not Feeling well right now. I feel like I'm failing. I feel like I'm not measuring up I feel like what I'm doing doesn't matter Can you help me in this? Can you be with me? Can you clothe me with your presence and your peace to know that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing right now And sometimes that's all you can do. I like as much as we want to fix things right now You you can't just fix this but But what we need to be continually turning our eyes to is the security we have in christ like right now and I mean This is kind of response like I I was I was struggling with as I was thinking about this today and just before I shot this video and that's kind of wanted I Why I wanted to shoot this video Because I I felt like look at least At least I can share this with somebody else like all this thinking and And struggle won't just go into nothing It'll at least be there for you to relate to and learn from maybe but I don't really have much more to say than that um Yeah, anyway, um if you're struggling with this, you know You're not alone, um