 WBBM FM Chicago the makers of Wrigley's Spear Mint chewing gum invite you to enjoy life life with Luigi a comedy show Created by Psy Howard directed by Mack Benoff and starring that celebrated actor mr. J. Carol Nash with Alan Reed as Pasquale Friends the makers of Wrigley's Spear Mint chewing gum are glad to bring you life with Luigi because they feel it's a friendly good natured show That offers you relaxation and enjoyment, and you know Wrigley's Spear Mint chewing gum offers you relaxation and enjoyment, too It's pleasant to chew on a smooth piece of Wrigley's Spear Mint whether you're working Shopping listening to your radio or doing just about anything Wrigley's Spear Mint gum tastes good. It's refreshing and the good easy chewing gives you comfort and satisfaction So chew Wrigley's Spear Mint gum often every day Millions enjoy it and you will too Now Wrigley's Spear Mint chewing gum brings you Luigi as he writes another letter describing his adventures in America to his mama basco in Italy Tonight is it gonna be the first day of my new night school of term, and I'm all ready I bought the new pencils a new eraser new notebook, but as the one he won the trouble. I still I got the same all the blend I So exciting the first day of a new term tonight when I start to my 3a class I'm gonna be just like a millions of other American kids are starting in the 3a Except that before I go to class. I'm gonna take a shave And also to make extra special impression and in my beautiful teaching Miss Spaulding I shined up my shoes and nice and a brighter put on my best suit, and I'm gonna wear a white shirt with a tie Mama me believe in me tonight. I'm gonna look good enough to be kept enough to school She's a such a wonderful a girl in my school How beautifully you look just like a dummy in a store window Thank you for Scotty. That's a very nice of you to say that What's happened you ask Rosa for a date no Pascale reason I'm dressed up is it because today is the first day of the new term So that's why you took such a shorter haircut so your head is gonna have more room for new brains All right, you're gonna make a fun of me, but but I'm still gonna keep going tonight school. So so goodbye. Wait wait, Luigi Look, you ain't a kid no more time is a flyer Well, so what so don't you think you should spend the rest of your life with doing the things that you was a born to do Like a what like a raiser a family? But Scotty, I ain't got no family to raise That ain't a rose is a fault Pascale don't you never give up only when you give up Well, goodbye Pascale. I don't want to be late for the first day of school Now wait wait, Luigi Rosa did a hair up a little different tonight I want you to take one look at her before you go. Who knows you might change your mind Well, all right, Pascale, but Call it out only just to say hello. Good. Good Rosa Rosa Rosa Baby, well, Luigi She looks a nicer Pascale Thank you, Luigi. You look beautiful too Well, Luigi, you got an appetite to get married now Pascale, she's got enough appetite for both of us and I'm not the hungry Wait for Luigi. No, no. See you later Pascale. Goodbye, Rosa Papa, what are you gonna do with me? I don't know, but whatever I'm gonna do. I'm not gonna do it with Luigi The first day of school is always the most exciting, isn't it fellas? I wonder what what's it give and miss budding. Huh? What is everybody so nervous about? Look on me. I'm I'm as cool as a coocomba Oh Here she comes. Yeah, look look she never looked the more beautiful. Good evening. How are you all tonight? Well, what are you staring at? Mr. Schultz the cat got your tongue As long as he leaves me my eyes. I ain't complaining Gorgeous tonight miss folding a real lullaby lousa Thank you just a new dress. I'm a sporting. I I brought you a little something. Oh, how thoughtful And that's a perfume with a friendship name, but you're gonna smell it sweet in any language Thank you, mr. Vasco miss balding a little something for me to you. Thank you, mr. Harwick and something for me to miss balding Why thank you, mr. Olsen and here's my bribe Thank you, mr. Schultz class. Why the sudden burst of generosity? We are just doing our charisma shopping a little early this year Hey now miss budding. We we we just want to show you miss budding Our appreciation for having a such a wonderful teacher and we're just so happy that we're lucky enough to have you For another five months. Oh my goodness What's wrong miss budding you Hey, you look pale. I'm not going to be your teacher this term I came in to visit you for a moment before I go into my own class Our principal assigned me to another 3a class for this term How you mean We're gonna have another teacher. There's nothing I can do our principal. Mr. Orth feels that a change of teachers is good for pupils that it gives them a fresh viewpoint But we love the old view by He can't do that to us by yingily It is against all the sacred principles of democracy at work There in the majority of a group has the right to decide for itself its own future rule And besides the old ones stop already. They are stealing our teacher away and you are filibuster Hey miss budding couldn't you complain about about about losing your class? Well, as a matter of fact, mr. Basco, I did but mr. Orth can get very stubborn at times I'm sorry class. I'm going to miss you Well You're gonna still keep the presence to miss budding Yeah, sure. What would I do with a dozen lace handkerchiefs? Miss folling if you're not our teacher, who's gonna be the new one? Well, uh, it's not going to be pleasant news Good evening miss folling Me we got the mr. Heine. Oh, no the grammar school gestapo Good evening, mr. Heine just coming in for old time's sake a miss folling. Yes. Yes kind of well I'll be seeing you gentlemen Goodbye miss folling Come see us when you pass by take care of yourself Pray for our lives Mr. Heine, they're a wonderful class really and I know you'll have a lot of fun teaching them this term Yes, I'm looking forward to it with pleasure. He must have gotten a new whip Well, goodbye Mr. Heine last term I know this class only too well on two other occasions I have substituted for miss folling and you've given me nothing but trouble now. Listen to me all of you Mr. Schultz, why are you staring out of that window? I'm trying to work up enough courage to chumb out That starts you off with a nice big fat zero, mr. Schultz I'll get this in your head's class. I am not a substitute anymore filling in for an easygoing indulgent pretty blonde teacher Should only happen to us Mr. Schultz, were you whispering under your breath? Yes, yes, what yes, sergeant sit down Mr. Schultz perhaps you're laboring under the misguided illusion that i'm here to play games with you Well, get this and get it straight You keep up your shenanigans and I'll see that you spend the rest of your life in 3a Is that clear? Yes, yes, why I don't you ever let me hear you say yes sergeant again Yes carpenter What did you say speaker? I said yes, yes, yes, mr. Heine that's better. Mr. Basko Mr. Basko, how far did miss Spaulding take this class in american history last term? I I think it was up until the civil war You think don't you know that's right What's right? I think I don't know It can one pupil yet. I don't know the time is as young yet Sit down mr. What's your name? Horowitz whole name and stand up when you're speaking My name is natan horowitz. I'm 46 years old and I have three children Is that supposed to be funny mr. Horowitz? Frankly, I was trying to inject a little humor into the proceedings Sit down and I'm injecting a zero on your car Ha ha ha Well, why don't you laugh mr. Horowitz? That's funny Mr. Uh, awesome that right sir Perfect Yeah, I must say mr. Heine you do have a wonderful memory. Yes many people have remarked on that I have also heard from your former students that uh, you have a wide educational background And that you have developed your own unique methods of indoctrinating pupils with useful knowledge Yes Oh, butter him up, but don't grease him to death Stand up I'm going to make an example of you to the whole class This is what can happen to any one of you for the next five months Himmer That all you can say before I decide on your punishment Yeah, but please please let me have one look at my wife and children before I go Before we return to life with luigi Here's a suggestion that'll help carry you through a busy strenuous day feeling more relaxed and satisfied From time to time, especially when you're tense or under pressure chew a stick of wriggly spearmint gum You see the good easy chewing goes right along with what you're doing It helps relieve that feeling of strain and tension so that work goes smoother and time passes more pleasantly Wriggly spearmint chewing gum tastes good, too It freshens your mouth sweetens your breath and gives you long lasting enjoyment and satisfaction So when you've got a job to do and you've got to keep going at your best Chew refreshing delicious wriggly spearmint gum Millions find it helpful and you will too And now let's turn to page two of luigi basco's letter to his mother in italy Well, mamma mia looks like we're gonna have a terrible time this time in the school with mr. Heine All day. He's a holler on us. He's a givers test and at the home. We got a double homework Only thing he don't do is a hit us That's only because we fought there is a one in And about the third night of the new term we decide to hold a meeting in my antique shop and talk over what we're gonna do As president of the united nations of north hollstead street. I call this meeting to order Will the delegate from sweden kindly summarize our grievances against the common enemy yo-ho And mr. Heine has conducted himself with complete and total disregard for the feelings of his pupils as human beings He has burdened us with undue homework Unnecessary and tedious examinations profuse white tupperation In other words, he's a sting gun That's right. I second the motion Comes now the time for action Does anybody have a suggestion how to subdue the enemy and get back to civilization which means balding The delegate from israel has the flu I say we must meet force with force. You mean knock his brains out Now we can be more subtle Attack on attack on his chair Glue on his chalk Maybe cement down the border. I said yeah on the border But if we do all those things and maybe they're gonna throw us out of the school So what does the prisoner complain when they force him to leave alcatraz? A yard the delegate from sweden has the flu off. Thank you A gentleman the enemy is crafty, but we must be more crafty Perhaps if we made a direct appeal to miss balding well, also, and I did that you spoke to miss balding Yeah, I saw in the in the lunchroom and I begged her she should talk with mr. Art and he should let her come back to our class. What did she say? Well, she tried and he said no Well, the crafty ways have failed. Let's go back to the baseball bat theory of thinking Does anybody know where we can pick up a second hand atom bomb cheap? Hey, wait, wait, sir. I got a big idea the delegate from italy just got a big brainstorm Olson was right who we got to be smarter than mr. Heine He's not gonna let us go But there's one person who maybe could convince mr. Heine to go back to his old class who his wife pure Why not? I know my wife runs my house. Well, naturally every normal healthy wife is a born dick stayed up Lou video. I think you hit it on something women, you know a very Zostarded and sentimental so we're gonna appeal to missus. Heine to get mr. Heine to take back his old class She must notice how chumpy and angry he is since he's been with us But gentlemen just one question. What if there is no mrs. Heine? Well, there is also and I heard him talk about his He's a wife and and as a kid. You're so what he could have eaten them all up by now Yes, we stopped there Lou video, are you sure he is married? Yeah, awesome come to think of it. I heard him talking about his wife too Oh, yeah, he must have a wife. Heine couldn't be happy unless he was torturing some poor miserable creature full time 24 hours a day Luigi, is this the address you found in the telephone book? That's the Horowitz. And there was only one Heine more than one. They couldn't stand Ring the bell, Lou video. All right You missus. Heine a wife of mr. Heine the night's gonna teach you. Yes, what do you want? Oh Mrs. Heine we We belong at your husband's night school at class and and we came here to ask you a bigger favor very well I'll give you two minutes. Come in We uh, he was thinking oh man Well, how was it? Well speak up don't stand around like a bunch of dummies. Have you lost your tongues? Mrs. Heine we came ahead to ask you about just a moment you there. No me. Yeah Put out that cigar. I don't stand for cigar ashes on my rug And as long as you're in my house, don't lean against the furniture. It's newly polished. Is that clear? Him and Mrs. Heine is Mr. Heine without the mustache Is that supposed to be a wisecrack? Oh, I'd call up your husband and tell him to give me a zero I Don't speak out to be nice And mrs. Heine we just we just came here a little friendly visit to ask you about it. Speak up. I hate a mumbler We like you talking to your husband and tell him to get out to change the classes that would have been spoiling And why should he do that? Well, your husband is a nice fellow, but But he's a little bit too strict to with us. Ain't all this strict Aidan! When will I know it? Hitler is still alive! This is all ridiculous. My husband is just as fair and impartial. And then he's supervisor of a change-in Come on fellas. We got to get back to school before the keeper misses us Wife informs me that you tried to influence her to get me to exchange classes with mrs. we did. Frankly, she looked like the squeela type. Mr. Schultz, you'll speak when you're spoken to. Yes, sir. Just about fed up with the low grades you've all made in the last few daily examinations. If you don't do better in today's oral test, I'm going to recommend to the principal that you all be expelled. Expelled? No, no, no, no, you can't do that. All right then. Close your books. Keep your eyes front, heads are X. Speak only when spoken to, and the first one I catch whispering in answer goes down to the principal. First question. Mr. Horowitz. Give us the grammatical rule for the use of a period in a sentence. Would you mind please repeating the question? Zero. That's not the way you said it the first time. Mr. Baskill. Please. Tell us the rule about the period. Well, a period that should have stand on the end. I mean in a sentence and wait, wait, Mr. Heine, I know, but I'm a little bit nervous. Set down. Zero. Mr. Schultz. He got me right where it hurts. Mr. Schultz, you may tell us. Yeah. Mr. Schultz, why are you trembling so? Because I hate bloodshed, especially when I'm going to do the shedding. There's no need for concern if you've done your work. You may tell us, when do we use the exclamation point? When we give a command, for example, stop bothering us. Yes. And stop needling us. Needling? What are you giving us? Educational vaccination. Mr. Schultz, I've had enough bits of ordination. I'll see the principal right now. No, no, no. Please, Mr. Heine. Have you all thrown out of school? Now we've got no misspalding. And no school. He ain't just studying for nothing. Now, Mr. Heine, I've been examining their test papers and this plus everything you've been telling me about them proves that you're right. That class has fallen down in scholarship. No interest whatsoever in their work, Mr. Roth. I can only repeat what I've been strongly urging that they all be expelled. Very well, as you say. They'll receive their dismissal notices in the morning. Good, very good, Mr. Roth. I must admit, that's quick. Thank you. And now then, Mr. Heine, what are your plans for the rest of this term? Plans? Well, I'll be teaching my class. But you just expelled them off. You have no class. Looks as if you don't have a job anymore, Mr. Heine. Oh, Mr. Roth, I can take on some other night school class. There are no others, Mr. Heine. Of course, you are at liberty to seek employment in some other school. Wait, now, wait, wait, wait, look. Let's not be too hasty with this class. Shall we, Mr. Roth? Perhaps I can get more out of them. I hardly think so, although Miss Balding got very satisfactory results from that same group, I believe her secret lay in treating the individuals in a way exactly opposite from yours. Please, sir, please, let me try. I have changed my teaching methods. I'll try. I'll try humoring them a little. Very well. Good luck to you, Mr. Heine. And let's see what happens. Yes, yes. We'll see what happens. Come now, Mr. Vasco. In what year did the United States purchase Louisiana? Eighteen hundred. Your clothes. Try again. Try again? Yes. You sure, Mr. Heine? Sure, I'm sure. Let's try it. Eighteen hundred and... Eighteen hundred and one? No. Eighteen hundred and two? Eighteen hundred and three? Stop. That's perfect. Now, now let me see. Who shall we call our next? A Schultz to what's happened to him? It could be softening of the arteries. Mr. Schultz, what did you say? I said you could be suffering from softening of the arteries. It's funny, funny. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's softening of the brain. Well, now we'll call on Mr. Olson. Oh, no, no. Don't bother to stand up, Mr. Olson. We need an axiform. We need him? Luigi, are we in the right cell? Mr. Olson, I don't think I'll bother to ask you a question. You are a wonderful student. That is correct. Uh, Mr. Horowitz? Nathan Horowitz, I'm 46 years old and I have pre-children. Oh, how funny! As a matter of fact, you are all doing exceptionally well today. So far, not one zero. Call on me, Mr. Hein, and I guarantee to break the ice. Mr. Schultz, okay, give me the zero. No, no, no, no. I thought that remark was very witty. Then why didn't you laugh? Come on, Mr. Hein, you can laugh better than that. Mr. Hart, this is the end. Good evening, gentlemen. Good evening, Mr. Hart. Well, Mr. Hein, I'm glad to see you're getting along so well with this class. Oh, they're a wonderful group, sir, and their grades certainly are improving. Good. I was going to tell you that I had decided not to expel this class, but rather have you exchange classes with Miss Spaulding. But since you get along so well with them, perhaps I'm going to let you keep them. Oh, no, no. We demand a lawyer. Good evening, class. Gosh, Mr. Orth, it's wonderful to be back here with my old class. It seemed to be the only sensible solution, Miss Spaulding. Hey, Mr. Hart, you mean we're getting Miss Spaulding back? Yes. But you said before... I know it. I like to have my own little jokes occasionally. Well, come on, Mr. Hein. Your old class is waiting for you. Mamma mia, what a horrible future. Hey, isn't that funny, Mr. Hein? Yeah. So what do you think, honey? The makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum hope you enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi, and they want to remind you that chewing Wrigley's Spearmint Gums is the easy, enjoyable way to sweeten your breath and help keep your mouth feeling fresh and clean. There's lots of lively, full-bodied, real spearmint flavor in Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum, and you can chew and enjoy a stick of Wrigley's Spearmint as long as you like, any time, any place. So do as millions of people do. Keep a package of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum with you all the time. And whenever you want a taste treat or you want to freshen your mouth, chew a stink. Remember, Wrigley's Spearmint Gum gives you chewing enjoyment plus refreshing, long-lasting flavor, and it costs so little, you can enjoy it often, every day. That's Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum. Healthful, refreshing, delicious. The makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum invite you to be sure to listen next week at the same time when Luigi Basko writes another letter to his mama Basko in Italy. Life with Luigi is a Sy Howard production. The script is written by Mack Benhoff and Lou German and directed by Mr. Benhoff. This is starred as Luigi Basko with Alan Reed as Cacuale, Jody Gilbert as Rosa, Mary Schiff as Miss Faulding, Hans Conreed as Joe Forte as Horowitz, Ken Peters as Olson, Earl Ross as Mr. Hine, Gail Bally as Mrs. Hine, and Herb Butterfield as Mr. Orr. Music is on in the direction of Lud Gluston, Charles Lyon speaking. This is the CDS Radio Network.