 That's the theme from the Sears Radio Theatre. Tonight, a story of the West with Lauren Green as your host. Here's a preview. Do you know, my dear niece, that last I saw you, you were this high. Yes, ma'am. Zola to be, I brought you a gift. Uncle Zola, you shouldn't have. It's a bottle of Zola Hickielbillers Lake Oil Medicine, free of charge. The Sears Radio Theatre will begin after this message from your local station. This is Lauren Green. It's the summer of 1907. From a port swing in the town of Tecumseh, Nebraska, you can see most of the town, down Main Street to the railroad depot. Tecumseh is one of those towns where it doesn't take a person much more than a few days to know everyone. And with the help of Mrs. Carrie Woodress' tongue, you can get to know just about everything, too. Now, there's one thing that makes Tecumseh more than just any other railroad town. And that's the Tecumseh Pig Festival. This pig festival isn't just for folks in Nebraska. Tecumseh gets pigs from Kansas and the Dakotas. Indiana Hoosier folks bring Indiana Hoosier hogs. Next to the hog judging and the pork barbecue and the grease pig catching contest, there's one other event that makes the Tecumseh Pig Festival especially famous. And that's the Flapjack flipping contest. All the lady folks take a Flapjack and a skillet and they race from the railroad station, clear on up to Polden Tec's General Store, flipping their Flapjacks as they go. Whatever lady gets there first without dropping a Flapjack wins. This year, the prize is having a Dressmaid at Lottie Anderson's Dress Shop. May your bacon follow that. Nice prize, huh? But the pig festival isn't till the end of the summer. Right now, there's nothing much to do except watch the trains come in. For this is a story of simpler times. And this is just the beginning of that story. The adventure in radio listening. Five nights of exceptional entertainment every week. Brought to you in Elliott Lewis production of the Sears Radio Theater. Our story, Uncle Zora comes to the Pig Festival by Patricia and Joyce. Our stars, Marvin Miller, Virginia Gregg and Joan McCall. The Sears Radio Theater is brought to you by Sears Roboc and Company. Sears, where America shops for value. Woodris is one of the Tecumseh Pig Festival Flapjacks flipping contests for three years running. The fellas at Polden Tec's General Store wonder if she won because she's the fastest or if she won because the other ladies were afraid of a tongue. Of all the bad things Carrie Woodris might say about them if they beat her. Of course, Carrie isn't really a bad sort. She's been a friend to the widow Dorothy Griffith ever since Eugene passed away. Right now, for instance, she's entering Griffith's Draglet Store. Dorothy, over here. That's unlike so bad I can't make out a thing in doors. Oh, there you are, hiding behind all them boats for Calico of Madanone. Lizzie Bainbridge, who's just in. And every time she's here, she's got to see everything in the store. What a fuss budget she is. Oh, it's no bother. The boys are buzzing around my Lily like bees around her knees. Why, you should see her, Dorothy. Blushing as pink as that nice gingham fabric you sold me last week. Freddie Baker's always been sweet on my Lily. I do favor him, and it's not just because he's the mayor's son. Of course not. Well, since there's no one about, I do believe it's only a kindness that I should tell you. Tell me what? Better that the news should come from my mouth and from some town busybody. Well, news is news no matter how it comes. It's about your darling daughter, Melinda Jane. What about her? Well, granted, she's a mite younger than my Lily. Of course, I come by my Lily at a very early age as well, you know. Yes, I know. Now, Melinda Jane may be young, but she's still too old. For what? Tree climbing. Tree climbing? In the presence of a young man, no less. Melinda Jane, and you know these young men will stand at the base of the tree looking for glimpses of ankles and bloomers. Enough, Carrie. I'll talk to her. Yes, if it was my Lily, I would talk to her indeed. Yes. Carrie, I will. Thank you. This is her coming now, I believe. Mama? Yes, dear. No, we got a telegram wire. A telegram wire? Who'd be sending you a telegram wire? Oh, Mrs. Ridges, ma'am. I didn't see you. I'm not used to the light yet. I know. The same thing happened to my eyes, child. Now, who sent you a wire? I don't know. It's to Mama. Clean from a high hole. Oh, who could that be, Dorothy? Give me the envelope, Melinda Jane. Here. Well? Who is it from? Landfate. What does it say, Dorothy? It's from my uncle's roller. He's coming in to come see for the big festival. What's it say, Dorothy? It says, my dearest niece, Dorothy, stop. Plan arrived to come see and stay through the coming pig festival. Stop. Letter with more specific details follows. Stop. I trust that you can provide suitable accommodations. Stop. Your loving uncle, Zora. Yeah, it seems to me, Dorothy, you must have wealthy kin. You ain't talked about. I ain't heard of anyone using so many words to the wire. Uncle Zora ain't wealthy. He just talks a lot. Is this uncle Zora? Is he from Ohio? All parts. Terry, as you know, Melinda Jane and I got some talking to do. Oh, indeed. Indeed. Yes. I'll be gone and let you two do your talking. Bye now, Dorothy. Melinda Jane, you best remember to mind your mother now. I will, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Well, now? Mama, is that the same uncle Zora that used to self-make oil medicine? Cush, ma'am. Not a word about that. Mama, I know when to keep my mouth closed. Can I even talk about certain things in privacy? Melinda Jane, you think you're too big to have me take a hairbrush to your bottom. Mama, what are you talking about? Because if you are too big for me to take a hairbrush to your bottom, you're too big to go tree climbing with a young man. It was just with Freddie Baker. That don't make no difference, young lady. Oh, every time that carrier just comes in here, you get crankier than our old Mr. Julius. That's your eldest, young lady. Yes, that's the truth. Cush, Mel, she pretends to be kind, but she ain't. She is kindly, honey. When a woman's a widow, she's got to be extra careful. Your great uncle Zora's letters come. Oh, when did he arrive? On Wednesday, the 11 o'clock five. The night train? He's bringing a special secret guest. None other than William Jennings Bryan. The man who was running to be present? No, very same, dear. We're going to put William Jennings Bryan in the parlor. We'll have to get Freddie Baker and the Woodris boys to move your bed in there. Then I'll buy a straw mattress for you for Mrs. Woodris. Oh, won't she be surprised when she sees William Jennings Bryan in our house? She sure will. I'm not worried about him visiting now, honey. Uncle Zora wanted us to keep William Jennings Bryan's arrival. She's sweet, yes, ma'am. But won't Mrs. Woodris make you tell her who you're borrowing the mattress for? Well, I'll think of something. Maybe the good Lord will pardon me a little quiet lie. Just a few weeks ago, you could sit out on the port swing all night. Now the late night air is getting a nip in it. And the Tecumseh pick festival is the only good thing between this evening and a cold Nebraska winter. Dorothy Griffith and her daughter Melinda Jane are off to the train station to meet the 11-odd-5. You'll remember Uncle Zora was coming into Ohio with his honored guest, which is why they're all decked out for Sunday. Oh, Melinda Jane, you've got your hair ribbon on crooked. You don't want William Jennings Bryan to think you're slovenly mad, do you? I take myself three times in the mirror like you do. Well, then it's slip. Here, let me fix that. Stop fresh now. Good grooming is worth suffering for. How you going to know him? Uncle Zora never been hard to mess. Mama, I'm scared. Ain't that thing to be scared of, honey? But I never met anybody more famous than Mayor Baker. Well, neither have I. Just remember, deep down inside, they're all people. Even William Jennings Bryan. Mama, is that him? No, dear. What does Uncle Zora look like? There he is. That's Uncle Zora. The fat one with the flat nose? Yes, dear. Where's William Jennings Bryan? Well, we'd best find out. Come along. I used to have you here in Takone City. Zora's be how lovely you are. Oh, now, Uncle Zora. Ah, the evening's half light only enhances the dioramas of beauty in your eyes. Your face gleams with lustrous health. Truly, you have held your beauty through the loss of Eugene. Although I am sure you must bear the great loss locked within the confines of your bosoms. This is a public location. Well, you must realize that at 82, I only refer to certain portions of the anatomy as figures of peace. You are speaking in front of a child. Mama, a young lady. Does this mean my great-nice Melinda Jane Griffith's disangular Artemis of the Prairie? Do you know, my dear Nita, last I saw you, you were this high. Yes, sir. Zora, I brought you a gift. Uncle Zora, you shouldn't have. It's a bottle of Zora Ezekiel Miller's snake oil medicine free of charge. Oh, well, no. Thank you, Uncle Zora. Uncle Zora, can we meet William Jennings Bryan? Of course. Follow me. I trust you have found suitable accommodations for him. I thought he could sleep in the parlor. Now, Zora, if he were a rough lean, who would he be natic with? Can't put William Jennings Bryan in a lean, too? Perhaps the parlor is more suited to his exalted position. Ah, this shit. Mama, this is a stock car. Harsh now, honey. My good man. Claim number 4483, please. Right, sir. Thank you, my good man. Thank you. Mama, you didn't tell me Uncle Zora was bringing a hug. I didn't know myself, dear. Zora, why didn't you tell us you were bringing a hug? This is not just a hug. This is William Jennings Bryan. What? This hug is William Jennings Bryan. I brought him with my surprise entry in the Tecumseh Big Festival. I thought you were bringing the real William Jennings Bryan. Excuse me. I'll wait for you at the house. Melinda Jane, would you like to see William Jennings Bryan do some of his tricks? No, thank you, sir. All children like to see... I am not a child. I just turned 16. I got to start acting like an adult, and I want to start getting treated like one. Oh, my dear, I meant no offense. You slippery vomit. Ain't you never stopped selling snake oil, Uncle Zora? Even your own kin? Why, my dear Melinda Jane, I do believe you're angry with me. Angry? I'm angrier than a cross-eyed rattle snake that can't strike an added overweight gopher. And me? Yes, and you. I know it's against fun-to-tell teaching to be mad at your kin, but I could just pour trippin' pie on your head for what you've done to my mama. I've done nothing to your mama. Tell him here you were bringing William Jennings Bryan. The confusion between the human Mr. Bryan and my heart is the never-ending source of amusement. For you, maybe, but not for us. Seeing him preparation, Mom and I went through. She's got plenty enough to do with the store now that Daddy did without cleaning up after you and that silly pig. Oh, my dear child, young lady, I shall try to be more considerate in the future. Oh, that ain't all. You think my mama's fine because she still looks pretty, but she ain't fine. Ever since Daddy died, she lost all her gumption. She lets that Carrie Woodrace bully her silly. She don't never stand up to her like she used to. Oh, I'm sorry. She thought if you brought the real William Jennings Bryan, old Carrie Woodrace would have to sit up and take notice. After all, anybody who knows the real William Jennings Bryan gets to be respectable without even trying. But somebody who has an uncle with a hog named William Jennings Bryan is sittin' pretty, but one of Carrie Woodrace's tongue lashes. Oh, Melinda Jane, wait! My dear, that... Oh! William, what to do? What to do? Oh! Boy, Freddy, over by the depot, touching up the paint on the sign, the one that says, Welcome to Tecumseh, home of the Pig Festival. Nothing much has been happening in the town, pre-Pig Festival. Carrie Woodrace says no in a scene, Uncle Zora, since he arrived because he's a lazy no-account, spends all his time poking around the old tool shed. Carrie reckons he's got a bottle hidden back there. That's a shame. The last thing a widowed woman needs is an unrespectable uncle hanging around. And you think it's Lily? No, Dorothy, I'm sure, but what I heard was that Freddy Baker is real, real sweet on one of the town girls. Said she wasn't my young yet, but he was willing to wait. That could be my Lily. Yeah, it could, Carrie. Freddy also said this young woman was the only girl in town who wasn't a silly goose. That must be my Lily. Yes, I suppose. Melinda Jane, honey, where you going? Just round by the back garden, Mama. Going to visit your Uncle Zora for years? No, Mrs. Woodrace. I'm going to do some hoeing his off. Well, enjoy yourself then, Melinda Jane. Yes, ma'am, I will. My precious Dorothy, whatever does your Uncle do out there in the tool shed? I promise, Uncle Zora, I wouldn't tell. Well, your secret is safe with me, Dorothy. You know that. Oh, I know, Carrie. But a promise is a promise. These here bees. What's it look like I'm doing pulling the tooth? I believe I still detect an oak of animosity. What's that mean? I believe you're still mad at me. Madder than a hornet whose nest got kicked by a mule. Oh heck, Uncle Zora, it ain't just you. Is Carrie Woodrace in this town, too? Is Carrie Woodrace the statuesque, blonde woman with the insidiously persistent tongue? Yes, she's an oatmeal here. Oh, yes, I quite agree. Heck, you and your blasted hog wouldn't be half so bad if I wasn't afraid of what Carrie Woodrace might say about you. Not that I care, but my Mama could lose her respectability. But your mother is the epitome of goodness. Mama is good. But ever since Daddy passed on, she's been real careful about her respectability. Mama's so determined to stay and Mrs. Woodrace's good graces that she lets her win the flatjack flippin' contest. Mama used to win every year before Daddy died. Why is Mrs. Woodrace's opinion so important? I don't rightly know. I think everybody in town hates her as much as me. But there ain't a soul with a gumption to cross her. My most precious nieces, if I could perhaps create the downfall of this medusor like Mrs. Woodrace, would I regain your good graces? That depends on what you got in mind. We must publicly humiliate Mrs. Woodrace. What good's that going to do? People are not unlike chickens. Huh? If you can weaken the chief chicken in the plucking order, the other chickens will turn on it. So it is with low-quacious women who dominate small towns. You think if we make a fool of Kerry Woodrace, people will stop listening to it? Exactly. The plan is incalibur. Infinitely more fool-proof than snake oil. We use the same play on names that fool your mother. Let Kerry Woodrace think that William Jennings Bryan is kidnapped. Let her spread the gossip. Then let her be surprised when the town finds out that William Jennings Bryan is a hog. Are you sure this is fool-proof? Of course. However, we mustn't even pry it unless we can persuade Dorothy to leave town. I can take care of the store myself. But for whole days. No. I think I'd better stay home after all. But Aunt Mary said it was real urgent that you come. Yeah, that's true. And Mr. Woodrace has to go to go for junction anyway. Yes, you're right. It's silly to worry. Your bags are outside in the buggy. Thank you, dear. Well, goodbye. Have a good trip, Dorothy. I will, Dorothy. How's our cunning scheme progressing? Everything's ironing out smooth. Excellent. I shall hide William Jennings Bryan by you secure the attentions of Kerry Woodrace. I don't know if you can get her to listen to you. Of course I can. She thinks you're a lazy, no-good drunkard. Gonsense. I shall woo her with the skill of Richard the Third's reducing lady. Uncle Zora, you didn't say anything about seduction. Shakespeare, my dear, merely quoting from the bar. Don't you do nothing from the bar, Uncle Zora. Kerry Woodrace can smell liquor through French perfume and garlic and cinnamon and just about anything. She may be chief chicken in the pecan order, but that all means she's a dumb as a chief chicken. She only needs to be as vain, my dear nieces, only as vain. Indeed, please... I'm into James and Anita. Hurry on over here as fast as ever my legs could tell me. Mrs. Woodrace and Anna. Zora Ezekiel Miller, at your service. How come you've been to Nova like that? You've been tip-lipped? Mrs. Woodrace, I am merely bowing as is the custom of the English courts. Surely you must be aware of the perfunctory nature of this gesture, a woman of your breeding and temperament. Well, I don't know what Dorothy's been telling you about my temperament, but I think it's just fine. On the contrary, my niece spoke only of your excellent qualities. That is why, in her absence, I must petition you for aid. Oh, Mrs. Woodrace, help an aging statesman to dispel... No discussion. Get up off your knees this instant. Somebody might come in. Please, help us, Mrs. Woodrace. Zora Ezekiel Miller, this is an abomination. You're going to tear the hem of my dress, and if you do, I'm calling him the sheriff. Please, Mrs. Woodrace. You get up off the floor right now, falling all over the place indeed. I only wanted to plead a case. Don't you think Dorothy Griffith's got enough troubles without having you take to drink? My lips have not touched alcohol in 20 years, and I assure you that this is a very respectable case. I don't know what the likes of you know about respectability. Verily, it is a secret case. What kind of a secret? If I impart this secret to you, you must promise to assist me. No, I can't. No, can't do a thing until I know what the secret is. Zora Ezekiel Miller, you know your secret is safe with me. Well, I must have your vow that you will aid me. Well, of course. I will tell me every little thing. Mrs. Woodrace, I have caused to believe that you are the only person outside my immediate family who knew that William Jennings Bryan was staying in the Griffith's tool shed. What's that? William Jennings Bryan in a tool shed? If that ain't a lot of malachia, I don't know what is. Come, come, my dear Mrs. Woodrace, you know that William Jennings Bryan likes simple things. Oh, yes, sir, that's true. He's a man of the people. He said he came here with the expressive tension of secretly having the opportunity to listen to the heartbeat of America. He did? And he told me he had the privilege of speaking to an explicit intelligent brown woman just before. Ah, but I am ahead of myself. I assume that brown woman was you. Zora Ezekiel Miller, I don't know where you'll get your notions. Unless he meant my niece, Zora. Oh, not necessarily. Ah, but William Jennings Bryan spoke so properingly of her, so tactically. It might could have been me. Speaking to Mr. Bryan without rightly recollecting who it was. Indeed. Well, what is the possibility? Then, my good Mrs. Woodrace, will you go with me and explain to the local authorities that you spoke to William Jennings Bryan? He is in great distress and we must need to come to his aid. In distress? He has been kidnapped just last night right here in Tecumseh. Zora Ezekiel Miller, I don't know what kind of trick you're playing, but it ain't gonna work. By most esteem, Mrs. Woodrace, I can assure you that everything I say... Just because I live in Tecumseh don't mean I don't read the local gazette. I beg your pardon? I read in the paper that there was a Chautauquatent meeting in Kentucky yesterday and today. The honored speaker was Mr. William Jennings Bryan. Oh, yes, indeed. You see, William Jennings Bryan has a double. The only thing that's double, Zora Ezekiel Miller, is your vision after drinking too much whiskey. I ain't usually driven to person, but horse feathers is all I gotta say to you. This for six and the chief chicken in the pecking order never fails. And it's even better than snake oil medicine. Well, well... Oh, Melinda Jane, I've lost my tongue. Indeed you have. And 82-1 looks back at life hoping to have rested a few bits of wisdom from its mysteries. All I know is that my mom of goose is cooked. Right now, Terry Woodrace is gonna be running all over town, telling everybody what a weevly vomit my Uncle Zora is. But Griffiths are gonna be disgraced forever. Surely it can be that, sir. Oh, you don't know the power of Mrs. Woodrace's tongue. Oh dear, it appears that I fail you again. That's my own fault. I should never listen to an old snake oil peddler like you. No indeed you could not have. Oh, Uncle Zora, I'm sorry. I didn't mean nothing to harm your feelings. I just feel so angry and helpless and miserable and terrible and in our reach. You still know her, don't worry. Something will happen to light our way. Here's the concluding act of Uncle Zora comes to the pig festival. That's them out by the food shake? Not much of a value, my God. Ain't Mary wasn't real sick after all. I know. Uncle Zora and me, we asked her to call you away. Why ever for? Cause we wanted to fix that Terry Woodrace once and for all. Melinda Jane. Aunt Mary said she'd help us cause she disrespects that Mrs. Woodrace as much as I do. And kind of back in the school days Mrs. Woodrace told everybody that Aunt Mary had wants. What entire nation is going on here? Uncle Zora had a plan all figured out to make a fool of that Terry Woodrace in front of the whole town. Trouble is he failed ever which way. And Terry Woodrace has been running around saying that we have evil trickster blood and maybe even lunacy that runs in the family. Terry Woodrace wouldn't do a thing like that. Uh Dorothy, wouldn't that the words my niece let's fake were false the last day or two? Lian? Betty. Mama we didn't mean no harm. We were just trying to get that Terry Woodrace in a disgrace so that you wouldn't be afraid of her. Melinda Jane Mrs. Woodrace is one of my dearest friends. No she ain't. She keeps you so scared that you gotta do what she says. I can't think of one instance where I... What about the time you saw me and Freddie Baker a tree climbing? She made you put a stop to that? That's true. You're so scared of her you ain't even got the gumption to win the flat jackslipping contest. Now that's not true. I try very hard every year. Mama you know you don't. Oh. Well now... In that true Dorothy could you indeed win this test of house wiper skills if you but put forth the effort? Well now three years ago I might could have but the good Lord knows I ain't in practice and Terry Woodrace runs up and down her front porch every night for two weeks before the event working on her flat jackslipping. But my dear niece Dorothy this may be just the very thing to make a fool of Mrs. Woodrace. Or at the very least show the town that our own Mrs. Woodrace can be defeated. Hear that? Correct William Jennings Bryan. Correct. William Jennings Bryan agrees with us. Oh Uncle Zora why did you have to start talking to your hog? Whatever do you mean? For a minute there you had me believing I could stand up to carry Woodrace. And then you happened to go and remind me that you're plum crazy. William Jennings. I got bad news. What is this Freddie? Oh howdy Mrs. Griffith. Mr. Zora sir. Freddie. It's your Uncle Zora and Ily. Oh no ma'am this is about Mr. Zora. Me by poor humble personage. Mrs. Woodrace come around and talk to my father. He's the mayor you know. Indeed I do. Anyhow she said you heard that you was planning to enter a hog in the pig festival. Well yes I am the very quadruple pet you see before you. Well you can't enter. What? Carrie Woodrace has got the whole town believing that you're touched in the head. And if you enter the pig festival you're going to act peculiar and disgrace the town of Tecumseh. Freddie Baker you know that ain't true. I know it ain't. I told my father your uncle was real gentlemanly. My father said he's sorry but once Carrie Woodrace gets the town all riled up he can't cross her. Thank you for coming to tell us Freddie. I'm sorry Mr. Zora sir. No no my boy it is through no fault of yours that I am telling this disgraceful untoward bro. Thank you sir. Sorry to trouble you ma'am. No trouble Freddie thank you. Malent Jane Zora best get me my copper skillet. I've got some practice and to do for the slant jack flipping contest. The very same. Oh mama I'm so happy. I know you can do it. I know you can. She's like a sprung of second hand. Don't be directed to the best prize winner in the class that flipping contest. I just don't think it was such a good idea for me to beat Carrie Woodrace. Oh nonsense Dorothy it was an excellent performance. Besides mama just think how pretty he's going to look in that new dress from Roddy Anderson. Oh no I'm giving that to you dear. But you want it for yourself mama I don't want it. Dorothy. Thank you. Don't take my best. Oh the warrior queen of Elbe cries out with the Brunhilde like whale of fervid battle mongery. Hush now Zora that's simple talk. Dorothy where are you? I'm right here Carrie. Don't you call me Carrie you mangy fur sheep coyote. From now on you call me Mrs. Woodrace. Now calm yourself Carrie I won the flap jack flipping contest fair and square. You have to see me in a downright deceptive way and I'm going to let the whole town know it. Now Carrie I told you in person that no harm was met by my uncle Zora's scheme. I'm talking about something much dearer to both our hearts. You're Melinda Jane stealing Freddie Baker from my living. I beg your pardon. I myself being your daughter can't get Freddie Baker with the simple act of tree climbing. Mrs. Woodrace you ain't got no right. Freddie and me been climbing trees since we were little. Oh today I took with Shane Babylon. If you weren't a no-count harebrained child I'd have you tarred instead of it and driven out of town. Now you watch your tongue. Oh don't think it can't be done. I kept your uncle Zora out of the pink festival didn't I? Mrs. Woodrace I suggest you desist in this behavior before you show your true colors to the entire town. Go to the devil Zora beat your miller. Carrie well you have been warned. Zora Miller if you ain't outed to come see by sundown I'm going to have you locked up as a crazy man. Carrie Mrs. Woodrace to you. It seems to me you're asking the Mike crazy yourself. None of this high-handed innocence from you Dorothy Griffiths. You are a two-tongue lion. That is not true. I don't know anything about Melinda Jane's interest in Freddie and I thank you to close your mouth while I question my daughter myself. Melinda Jane. What she says is true mama. Freddie and I didn't plan on getting married for a year now. Deception. Law. We were keeping it a secret because I didn't want to get married for two more years till I'm 18. Melinda Jane Griffiths I'm going to feed your eyes of course. Carrie Woodrace don't you lay a hand on me. Please please this is circumcised. We are civilized are we not? Oh no you're a beaker. Look like you're here. I'd like to have a word with you in privacy. It's regarding the Griffiths family. I overheard the argument. I wouldn't doubt that everybody at the big festival has overheard the argument. It's my own personal opinion that you're a Mike too riled up about the innocent intentions of the young. You best ask Freddie here if he's got any intentions for Lily Woodrace to your honor Mr. Mayor. Because if he does I'll drop all claims on him as it's only fitting and proper for a woman of virtue. Freddie would you reply? Sir I never was interested in Lily Woodrace. I never had nothing to do with her except once when she said she'd tie tin cans to my dog's tail if I didn't let her carry my books to school. So I let her carry them. They were heavy books anyway. Now if you're Lily was a woman of virtue she'd renounce all claims to Freddie just like I often too. Why you sneak-decky young volumet. You're as bad as your Uncle Zora. Carrie Woodrace that's enough of that. You owe Dorothy an apology. For calling her a deceptive woman. And we all know that Dorothy give it this as good a citizen as a town of decency could want. Dorothy you can't want me to apologize to you. Oh yes Carrie I do. I'd be most obliged if you'd apologize to me and to my daughter and to my Uncle. And I insist that you apologize Carrie right here at the Pig Festival. Well I'm sorry to Dorothy and the girl but not to that old coot no called Uncle. Why Carrie Woodrace my Uncle is a respected man of medicine. And he also happens to be a personal friend of... Yes. A personal friend of William Jennings Bryan. William Jennings Bryan. Carrie Carrie you had better apologize now. Is that the truth? I can safely say it is. Well then I'm sorry. What's that Carrie? I said I'm sorry. I'm sorry Dorothy Melinda Jane and Zora. Nosey people looking at me like that poor ain't you never seen a lady apologize before? You're sick. Mayor Baker will you look at this town. Gossips and busy bodies every last one of them. I never did like a busy body. Well I don't neither. Well I said go help my Lily it's a big sale. Good day Mayor Baker. Sorry for any trouble Dorothy. Good day Carrie. Good day Carrie. Melinda Jane I can't believe you didn't tell me about your Marianne agreement. Well I can't believe you didn't fix Mrs. Woodrace for good when you had the chance. And now your mama stood up to her enough to curb her tongue. I've been wanting to do that for a long time but I figured that I best let one of the town folks take the lead. Oh thank you Dorothy. It ain't Carrie I dislike it's her gossip. I've suffered under her tongue long enough ain't no reason to make her suffer under mine. So Zara Miller you're a friend of William Jennings Bryan. Indeed I am Zara indeed I am. I reckon the town made a big mistake keeping your hog out of the pig festival. You're welcome to enter. A splendid gesture of confrision are you accept. What's the pig's name? Richard the third. Well I'll put it in right away. Anything else I can do for you? Next they'll rears. As my niece Dorothy was saying I am also a man of medicine. I'd be honored if I could open a small concession to sell a rather provocative concoction. Zara Ezekiel Miller's snake oil medicine. It can cure bee sting and rheumatism. Zara Pete and colleague. I'll go Zara. To you by Sears Robuck and Company. Where our policy is satisfaction guaranteed or your money back. Sears where America shops for value. Uncle Zara comes to the pig festival was written by Patricia and Joyce. Produced and directed by Fletcher Markle. Your host was Lorne Green. Our stars were Marvin Miller, Virginia Greg and Joan McCall. Featured in the cast were Irene Tedrow, Harley Bear and Corey Burton. The music for Sears Radio Theatre was composed and conducted by Nelson Riddle. This is Art Gilmore speaking. Associate director of Sears Radio Theatre is Ken McManus. Sound effects were created by Bud Tollison. Mark Trella is production supervisor and the recording engineers are Joe Wachter and Hal McDonald. The Elliott Lewis production of Sears Radio Theatre is a presentation of CDI. 24 hours a day, great music and more. News, teachers, sports from FM 103. KMLX FM, thank you. KMLX FM. CBS News. U.S. trade, salt too and food stamps. Those were the major topics this day on Capitol Hill. And in the Senate the food stamp program got the okay for more money. This is John Bohannon reporting on the CBS Radio Network. The Senate voted today to put an additional $620 million into the current $6 billion food stamp program. Senator George McGovern of South Dakota says the reason was to help people keep up with inflation at the supermarket. What today's action does is to make sure that no one participating in the program who is eligible to participate will have his or her benefits reduced. If we had not taken the action we took today to increase the ceiling on the program, the inflated cost of food would have wiped out anywhere from 25 to 30% of the benefits for several million participants. The vote was 75 to 20 in favor of the extra money for food stamps. The House has passed a similar version and some differences will have to be resolved before the bill goes to the Wine House. The Senate also passed the largest trade bill in history and sent that along to President Carter. And the Senate Armed Services Committee opened its hearings on the Strategic Arms Limitations Treaty with the Soviet Union. Defense Secretary Brown told the committee that important concessions Russia made during the SALT 2 negotiations would be imperiled if the Senate insists on making changes in the treaty. Exxon Corporation and Standard Oil of Indiana reported second quarter profits today showing substantial increases 20% for Exxon, 36% for Standard. But officials of both companies say the increases were because of substantial hikes and earnings from overseas operations. Ralph Nader's Congress Watch has checked up on some members of Congress who received campaign donations from oil interests during the 1977-78 campaign. And the director of the Congress Watch, Mark Green, says there's a possible connection between those donations and the version of the windfall profits tax on oil that passed the House last month. Oil Special Interest Groups gave a million dollars to members of Congress for the re-election campaign to 1978. And then a year later, when members of Congress have to vote on a measure of interest to the industry, 95% of them who receive the most money savor the industry. You know, when the public wonders why Washington cannot solve the energy crisis, I think one major reason is big oil money influencing political campaigns and then political votes. You take the money out of politics, I think the public will be better served on energy policy. Records from the Federal Election Commission show 26 major oil political action committees gave more than $1,100,000 to congressional candidates. President Carter made a speech today in the East Room for his White House staff, more than 300 people. He told them not to worry about their jobs as long as they're competent, loyal, and work hard. Mr. Carter also said he would have made his cabinet changes differently if he had anticipated the impact on the general public. And he told the staffers that he also had some second thoughts about his domestic summit recently at Camp David. And he says he thinks he should have invited more Republicans to that summit meeting. In Way Cross, Georgia, Charles Campbell is a bargain hunter. So when he saw 500 surplus parking meters piled outside a city building, he recognized some potential profits, so he bought them all. The next step was to find others who would want to buy them, and he soon found a large market. Campbell says most people buy them to use as banks. Some, he says, just want them as souvenirs or conversation pieces. But then he says he got a call from the mayor of an eastern town who had a rather startling use for some of the old discarded parking meters. The mayor wanted to buy them to use as parking meters. John Bohanon, CBS News.