 Hey Dr. Lauren, it is so good to have you here and I am just so excited about today. Today was one of those where we just kind of scheduled last minute and it worked out perfectly so I am so glad we both had the time and our conversation earlier in this week was really interesting because we were talking about when you're sensitive and you've had mold exposure and finding a safe place to live and we will dive into that today and all kinds of other fun topics but I want to introduce you and I'm we've been the same circles for a while now so I'm not exactly sure how we met originally but one of the things that I love about you is your woman of faith like I am and so a lot of times when we're talking there's this greater purpose and picture and I find I want to talk about this today because I know listeners a lot of people who are listening and joining us there's life is really hard right now there's a lot of stuff going on there's a pervasive fear and anxiety there's a lot of uncertainty whether it's business or work or family or personal people have stuff they're dealing with and what I love about our conversations is there's always this sense of like God's at work and I've been many many times in suffering and difficult situations and in the end there's always this sense of greater purpose and even in the suffering he allows us to learn and grow like we never would without it even though it's not very fun so I want to talk a little bit about that too just because I want to give people hope and encouragement today for whatever you're facing but before I do let me introduce you I want to actually read your bios so people can know about who you are we'll be sure and include links you guys know where to find me jillcarnhan.com free blog free resources free newsletter feel free to sign up for any of that and I will be sure and linked to Dr. Lauren's site and all her great programs at the end we'll talk about that too so Dr. Lauren Lax helps women work with their body not against it so they can reach their highest potential as a doctor of occupational therapy functional medicine practitioner and nutritionist she specializes in gut health which we both love to talk about optimization restoring immune and hormonal imbalances and a non-diet approach to body love and food freedom let's be sure and come back to that topic too I think that's really important her work is inspired by her 20 years of personal and clinical experience overcoming over 10 chronic conditions that almost killed her and that doctors could not solve including GI disorders eating disorders autoimmune conditions mold related illness Lyme disease hormone and thyroid imbalances and today she's made it her life mission to help others do the same she has been featured on many many news outlets I won't read them all but Lauren thank you for taking the time to talk to us today and welcome thank you are so pumped yeah the spontaneity and the stars aligned finally I know I love it I want to start with what how I always start is that you have quite a story I don't think I even know the whole story and it sounds like there's a lot of alignment between like what we've been through I want I want to hear your story of some of the things you've been through that have gotten you to where you are today 110% and so my story begin in healthcare really begins from day one that I was born like as far as just like um a lot of the cards stacked against me in my health and kind of knowing what we know about gut health and maybe what a lot of your listeners know about gut health um just started early on having gut problems early on and just how much our gut can impact our immune system our mindset and our hormone balance and so C-section baby antibiotic baby processed food baby like from the get go constipated process just like most of my life or early life was spent just not feeling super well grew up in a very upper middle class just really loving family as well and at our early age began to struggle with what I now or later would come to find out with anorexia and that story really began about age nine 10 wanting to fit in with other popular pretty little girls and standing on the playground one day with some girls and the queen bee says oh my gosh you guys I weighed myself last night and 69 pounds I'm so fat and well what do you guys weigh one by one we had to go around the circle and report to this queen bee and at the time I was a healthy 10 year old girl in the fourth grade um and but I gulped and I lied and just remember going home that day standing home in the pantry and turning over a Doritos snack pack and learning a language I had never known before which is fact rams and calories and really for the next bit like my middle school high school college years was really spent fighting various sorts of eating disorders um and orthorexia as well just becoming really obsessed with healthy eating over training and really driving my body into this state of chronic stress um which I think played a role later on in my life um kind of like with the limbic system and what we know about like mold illness and everything that came up later but um really my that story came came to a head when I was 23 years old and stepped on the scale but and for the first time was scared and I saw a number I had not seen since I was that 10 year old girl and it's just like everything flashed back and I was 23 and a young adult body studying occupational therapy at the time in Nashville and um my faith was has always been very important and part of my journey and it was just like it got really real and I remember getting in the car that morning to go to the YMCA and praying God help me make a change today like this is not okay and I don't feel good I was starting to have chest pains regularly I was running on feet with stress fractures all the time my body was just really depleted and paving in and um when I got to the YMCA that morning I got out of my car got my magazines to read on my Stairmaster and not one but eight other individuals walked up and these were eight other individuals that were gym goers I had seen all the past year they didn't know me from Adam and they spoke up and just said Lauren we want to help you and I was like what uh we don't know what's going on but it just seems like your health's been declining and we're worried about you and again don't know these people more than just saying hello in the mornings and um I now call these people my eight YMCA angels um because literally they drove me to Vanderbilt hospital and within 48 hours I was in the ICU and the doctor saying they may need to put a pacemaker in my heart it was nearly in the 20s and um it's just like my body was depleted giving out and um I couldn't I couldn't stop it on my own power um prior so but I remember just the night that had that happened my heart going that low just feeling a sense of peace and it was like really from the Lord and just saying like Lauren this is your time and not my time to go my time to um really survive through that and but he said buckle up it's going to be a ride and um I had been in and out of hospitals and treatment centers like all for the past 15 years leading up to that and just the same story popped our pizza Prozac was the typical treatment very much a symptom based model that eating disorder recovery model um which is why I love not treating the symptoms now it is in my work um but I ended up spending another four weeks on uh feeding tubes heart rate monitors IV fluids and then was kind of like sent out to treatment again uh but something in me had changed and I ended up staying a year in Miami Florida and in a treatment center very conventional treatment for eating disorders but um I knew life on the other side was going to be different and I had no idea what exactly that looked like but it was just walking through that journey of faith and I wrote a book about all that like just with all the little things that God was teaching me during that time like Mr. Bagel Day the day I had to have two bagels and God just really like kind of like breaking my fear of carbs for one but just saying like trust in me um through this and just like countless just um I guess just stories in ways that he stretched and grew me in my heart so getting out of treatment I was about 24 and I was just like wow life I'm reborn and like I say 23 is my magic spirit age I still feel like I'm 23 because that's really when I came to life again um and yet my journey wasn't over yet and what I call post recovery recovery began to happen and what happens to your body after just years of stress um chronic dieting chronic eating disorders you name it it's like ill health does not happen overnight and we do a lot of that work in functional medicine helping an individual with a timeline what got you to where you are today or what were those triggers and so I ended up being diagnosed with 10 different chronic conditions later like in those follow-up years a lot of it autoimmune related um I mean most recently and near dear to my heart was going through mold illness and then like Lyme coming up at the same time just something I probably had had for a very long time in my body um but it was just like the perfect storm but I learned so much through it it's just experience is the best teacher and the only way in is through and um I'm such a student like I love learning and God allowed my own health journey and body to be like my own textbook and and really just like it was actually the day I found out about mold illness that I had mold I ended up in the ER one night I was going to take the MCAT the next day and I did take the MCAT the next day still uh but ended up feeling um woke up at like 2 a.m in the middle of the night feeling like I was having a heart attack and it was a severe asthma attack and that's uh from breathing in mold spores all along my body just like felt depleted but again like experiencing the best teacher and is just God through my own health journey has allowed me to learn so much firsthand about chronic illness and then I'm just really making it my life mission to help others no matter what challenge it is they face to like really bust through those ceilings and to know like it doesn't have to be on your willpower it can be through his and so um and it like it just lightens the load so much and just even in the midst of like quarantine or COVID life like as you mentioned it's just like what are we learning right now what is the opportunity here versus like oh my gosh like what is happening to me it's just like really seeing like what is the opportunity from a health perspective from a life perspective a reset perspective there's so much like that can be gained from such a hard time I think Lauren I love that and thank you for sharing I know you've probably shared many many times in your book but this is the first time I've heard your full story and I'm so deeply touched because I like you have journeyed through lots of suffering and I look back my very first really big suffering was cancer at 25 and at the time it was just shocking and and I never doubted God like I never doubted that he was good but it was still really hard to face the reality and at the time I still was like why in the world I didn't like say why God why me but I also did say this is hard this is difficult and now that I look back I might get choked up here because I look and there's no greater gift that I had than going through cancer and going through Crohn's because there's no way you and I would understand people to the level that we'd understand them without having that experience and like literally like thank you God for cancer thank you for your eating like he gave us such a gift because when we experience that suffering and when we experience firsthand there's things about mold about Lyme about the cancer for me about eating disorders for you that we know that no textbook could ever teach us right there's things that we can see in our patients faces they have faced those things and all of this is the physical the emotional the spiritual the mental and we know on all levels it's not like we've arrived we're in the journey with you but we know that it takes all of those levels in order to heal and it's like God's continually stripping away okay you're hanging onto that well what about this and saying there's this greater thing like I always think of COVID as it came if you had no anchor nothing that you were really founded in this was a really rough ride for you so if you're there and you're like oh my gosh my whole world's falling apart my finances my relationships my work for you and I learn there's this deeper anchor and not everybody's going to have the same one as us but there's a sense of solidness despite the waves and the the crazy chaos of life that nothing can move that inside of us and I always want that gift for my patients of finding that that deep anchor in something that's more more important more powerful and a lot greater than just us because we're all terminal we're all going to die and so that that sense is that the greater sense of purpose is really powerful and it's powerful on healing because otherwise you get stuck with anger right like or like why god or these kinds of things and we've all been through that that's okay to go through that phase but we have to get past it to a place of understanding because there is purpose and meaning in suffering right and I'm sure you can say the same some of the best lessons as hard as they were came through the suffering right 100 yeah I just like I'm it's like no regrets anyway like it's just like there's no sense in saying like why did it happen because I'm just like thankful for like you said like it did happen and like what are what are we learning or what have we learned from it yeah and then the most recent mold um now I also wonder with eating disorders my story isn't close to what you've suffered through but I did in high school suffer from a phase where definitely would have been diagnosed as an eating disorder and I look back and now that I understand functionalism I see all the pieces of nutritional inflammation um autoimmunity and those things and how they play into our cravings and our gut and our feeling like for me I always felt like puffy and inflamed and I thought it was fat and the truth is like it was never really like I wasn't obese or anything but my body didn't feel like my own because of the inflammation and then with having the type A kind of perfectionistic controlling personality that I'm recovering from right I had some of those same things again not nearly to the extent you suffered but I understand well and I now understand with functional medicine how zinc deficiency and malabsorption and inflammation and autoimmunity all contribute and if we could take a look at these young women who are suffering or young men who are suffering from eating disorders and from the functional perspective give them the nutrients decrease inflammation what's your thoughts on that because I see in hindsight how big of a play it had to my behaviors at in my teens yeah no I mean I think you hit the nail on the head and I think it's just um there's I mean so much from a nutrient deficiency perspective even that can like just tee you up to like struggle more like from a mindset perspective like whether it's your vitamins zinc and absorption like just gut in general and like that brain gut connection you know 500 million neurons and just like serotonin levels um and I think on just like the back end too of like kind of overcoming those challenges like if those foundational root causes are not addressed and it's just like again the symptom kind of chasing of just like well she's got anorexia so that means pizza is good for her to like work on that mentally yes there was a mental component to like being able to like eat a lot of different things and at the same time like if the foundations were not addressed it kind of just kept I kept going back to the evening disorder because my brain was not synapsing appropriately and I didn't feel great and I think it's like helping a patient also like when you optimize those foundations actually feel good and not just go through the motions of whether it's food or whether it's therapy or even like from an exercise perspective just yeah and I found you know we all have so it's funny because I went through a phase where like um like I don't I'm like I don't have addictions you know I don't do drugs or alcohol but the truth is we all have what we call medicators and I may not have done drugs or alcohol but or smoke whatever but the truth is that we all have these things and they may not be bad like exercise healthy exercise can be a medicator where we kind of get this endorphins to get away from the stresses of life that's a healthy way to deal with stress but there's other things like online shopping or online social media or relationships can be a medicator where we just go from relationship to relationship to relationship because we don't have to feel or just being busy or achieving I mean things that are not always bad these are all different types of medicators and they can be just as numbing to us and dealing with the root causes as drugs or alcohol and so I was really aware that some of my medicators are um you know being busy and doing and not sitting still and God got me on that I was like no I want you to be still and like be in this place and for me when I got more still some of the motions and things that I was trying to suppress came up I'm like oh this is really uncomfortable but I God's continuing to teach me that I don't have to always you know go from thing to thing to thing or take on new projects but I can actually just sit in his presence and be okay with the sadness that comes up or the anger that comes up or some emotions that I never was comfortable with and I think it's a very real thing because all of us struggle with something as far as that goes and we all have different ways to deal with it healthy and unhealthy what is the why behind it I guess yeah I love that um so what a story and what I think what things you've overcome and and continue and again there's a lot of similarities with the auto immunity the lime and the mold one thing we talked about on the phone that I really wanted to talk about today was we're both mold sensitive we've had mold we're much better we're starting to recover but you have just been on the search for a home a safe place to dwell in Austin Texas and it's definitely humid and moldy there kind of like boulder tell us a little bit about your experience and what you learned because I don't know how many tests you went through you told me 40 or something yeah definitely 40 homes two came back clean um and the I guess of course I've probably three three four months I'm currently in an Airbnb if you can tell from my lovely paintings that are not my style um and um just kind of like have lived this like wonderful vagabond life for um really I got sick two years ago with mold I'd been living in a rental home for two years and that's my health really started to decline um when I was there quick so how did that actually happen was that a rental what what originally triggered you it was a rental that I was living in and like we're in a we've probably all lived in mold like think about college dorms that's like mold city there so I just never it was as affected until like this season of my life for I had actually had a colonoscopy which I think played a big role I passed out during colonoscopy it wiped me clean it reset my gut in a different way um and I think I just like was a good host for mold to come yeah after just um some like things like that getting sick etc had happened that year and so lived in this home and that night of feeling like I was having the heart attack happened um that was March 2018 and something in my head just like triggered mold I wonder like I think it's just like in the back like God put that in my head um but I had an inspector come off the next day had like all uh just black mold all in the H back system of that it was a beautiful new-ish home um it's only a 2010 build and we had actually had Hurricane Harvey in Houston I'm an often but just a ton of rain during that time too so our home one of the sidewalls just got really wet and started leaking um but never really thought I never when I heard mold before I always thought you would see it visually I never saw this mold visually until like the inspector took pictures of the H back which I never went into the attic area but um yeah from there was just kind of like this cascade of like what we mass cell activation syndrome that really took place and so every like four to six weeks I was going from doctor to doctor specialist to specialist with a different random diagnosis like diabetes and then the hypothyroidism and then migraines and allergies and asthma like things I never had before just like what's happening in my body and the doctors couldn't explain it and we just doing all the scan um but like really as I got more into understanding what mold is what it is I have um it was then that I I mean really realized I got to get out of here um of the place I was living and began to bounce around of just um and also learning a lot about multiple chemical sensitivity as well which can oftentimes go hand in hand because I bounced from that house to a newer house in the neighborhood a street over and like could not even uh like breathe in the room and the girl's like this is new I was just renting from a kind of a girl my age and it was the VOC and just like all the the off-gassing Amazon carpet so there's just like a lot of uh chemical and environmental sensitivities my body um began to develop and then ended up finding a spot to land for about a great nine-month stretch it was just like oh god thank you and then a new roommate I was living with two girls a new roommate moved in and brought in like thrift city into her room just like a thrift store like kind of um self-resigned hoarder she said and like lots of clothes it recontaminated the air with just like a mycotoxin wow um mycotoxins and just like my body was set off again and so just like being in this really like I call it princess in the pee spot just gotta be like in the perfect spot yes um going through that and we as practitioners often like say like you can't really fully begin healing until you are in a cleaner spot and it just like been exhausting I think I've moved a total of I would say 12 times in a matter of a year and a half just like two weeks here a few months here an Airbnb here and um and tested over 40 homes in that time with an awesome mold testing company global analytics that I worked directly with the owner of that company now and you said kept him in business right like so yeah he loves my business but he's been so great and he's so great at like even just questions I'll have about like what air scrubber should I get or like if there's mold is it remedial can I really do anything about that and then just like learning about like healthy building as well and so I mean kind of like which has brought me to where I'm at today um which is actually looking now for a home to just like either buy or build and um I think like that's really we talked about this past week I reached out to you about like what what would you do um in the home it was just like the perfect home I was gonna put this offer in on been praying for a clean spot it was the builder I wanted the neighborhood I wanted and and just going into the home it seemed like everything should be perfect in my head but something in my body did not feel right in the home and um it's just still like really honoring the body and not pushing the body over the edge um because I've already been there and um I think it's just a lot of the off-gassing that happens with a brand new build that just got finished and so still I'm just like in this place of like do I do it do I not do it um and at the same time like there's something the Lord's been putting on my heart is like he closed the lilies of the field he's like he's just taking this far I'm living to tell about all of this and just knowing that um typical Lauren fashion would be when I take control the reins and just like this is how it should go and yet I think sometimes when things don't work out like we plan or like we think they should be planned it's usually because there's something better and just to like really lean into that is really where I'm at and a day at a time versus like you know five years down the road gosh I love love that brings to mind so many things that our patients deal with like first of all when you have a mold exposure often your cells the mass cells these are some of the protector cells in our body they get irritated and some people are more prone to that those who are usually mold sensitive are more prone to that and I've talked to Dr. Afrin, Dr. Theothea Reedy, some of the mass cell experts in the whole United States of America and um they all um whether or not they treat mold understand that mold is probably one of the biggest triggers to mass cell activation and so this is super common and you listening probably some of you have this as well feel free to comment if you do or have experienced but all of a sudden you find you have hives you have rashes you have sensitivities and then you mentioned something Lauren um multiple chemical sensitivity which is this term that's not official medical diagnoses but any of us in this functional world we acknowledge it we understand it we see it which just sadly it doesn't have its own ICD-10 code yet which doesn't make it not a disease um but what I describe this as is we all have the bucket capacity that we're born with to detoxify so Lauren you and I were probably born with a smaller bucket um thanks god and so what happens is over our lifetime that bucket fills up with chemicals and glyphosate and parabens and phthalates and metals and mold is a huge one and at some point we start to spill over the top and when we spill over the top we tend to be symptomatic with neurodegenerative diseases or we have brain fog or we have um physical hives and manifestations of the mast cell stuff or we have just headaches or migraines are really common and there's many many more things but often you'll start to manifest because your bucket's overloaded and your water's flowing over the top so part of it getting well is getting out of that mold decreasing the load in that bucket and I always say gosh it'd be nice to know all the thousands of things that are in your bucket but you really don't have to all you have to do is reduce the water level by a certain amount so that you can have margin again because our bodies were created to detoxify and we we give back that margin by getting out of the mold environment starting detox our bodies build detoxify eventually it's just we need to give that margin back so what you were experiencing after the mold and what I did too is first of all we have this mast cell activation so often we're more reactive and sometimes they call that unmasking because as we lower the level in the bucket um we actually become slightly more reactive I don't know about you but if I walk into a house with mold I can actually tell pretty quickly our hotels so I call myself the mold dog I'm sure you're the same right yeah and that's kind of that unmasking and sensitivity it's a gift and a curse um because we can tell if there's someplace we want to stay or leave right away but we also are going to be more sensitive and what you experience is what a lot of my patients and yours I'm sure too experiences this um gosh there's maybe no mold in this new home that you're looking at that's wonderful but there is chemical off-gassing and that whether it's the um for the the kind of granite countertops off-gas uranium of all things the the cabinets the wood almost always off gases from aldehyde unless you have like pure hardwood cabinets which no one does anymore um the flooring can be hugely off-gassing all the vinyl tiles the luxury vinyl tiles off-gas carpets are huge producers of vocs so you have all these new materials in a home and it's a beautiful home with no water damage but you're having tons of off-gassing and we were talking about ways to deal with that because now the decision is can I handle that because it might take a year or two um and I think then like air filtration like air exchange from the outside those can help but that's a hard decision um because you do you can you stop reactions to that yeah it's just like that's fine line and just like leaning into like what is the best option for now like like I don't believe my body will always be this way and it's like in order to continue to progress it's like do I throw myself into a situation that is like perfect in my mind but my body's not caught up there and I think that can apply like whether you're buying or whether you're renting um just kind of like making the best decision for like leaving your health first or putting your health first in order to like continue to get healthier versus to backtrack um I guess and just like honor like not getting frustrated with where you're at yeah like honoring that so I'm hearing something really important and I want to point it out because I'm sure the listeners are are hearing this too but I always joke before the age of 40 I lived above my head and I was really analytical in how I thought and made decisions and then after my divorce I started doing a lot of the work that I needed to do to heal and what I found is I was kind of ignoring my body and what my body needed and what it felt and how sensitive I was I thought I was kind of a bad you know what and the truth is I'm a freaking sensitive woman and so I had to like kind of you know like this like like super productive woman I had to merge her with the really sensitive soul that God created me to be and I'm joking but the truth is it's kind of real and so that whole below or above the head thinking I had to go into my body and what I'm hearing you say is you're like oh my head says this is perfect but as I get into the environment my body is like oh I don't know I don't know and it may be yes or no you maybe haven't decided yet but there's this wisdom this intuitive wisdom women I think have a very strong sense and I ignored that for most of my life and now I'm trying to reconnect with that part of myself and I find it's the wisest part it's the spiritual part it's the intuitive part it's the part of myself that really has a knowing that my head can't comprehend and when we go there we usually have the right answer so I'm hearing you say like that's the conflict and to listen to that and it's a very spiritual sense too I mean I call that going with your gut like yeah it's like yeah honoring gut part like it's connected and so just like trust the wisdom and like I have this sweetest mentor who she is the canary of Austin is what we call her because she walks through mold illness for 30 years and now she goes with people so like basically mold hunt like you can pick up but she fills it in her body like she'll be able to say exactly what mold it is in this wall as she walks by it and it was just such a sweet she's older so she's not going many places during quarantine but we were on the phone when I went to go look at this house again I was like Suzanne I don't know if I do it should I not do it she's like Lauren you need to like just stop and like stop using this your head and like just really fill in your body walk up the stairs how do you feel right now and it's just like wow I had the answer like I knew how I felt when I like got out of my head that's like just like don't think about how pretty it is and I think it's just like it was just a beautiful kind of like karate kid moment of like the master teaching the student and she's teaching me how to be a mold under because a lot of people ask me to do that nowadays now um but you know it's just yeah what you're saying I think it's so easy in our society too in multiple areas not just mold yeah yeah whether it's relationships like the answer is or even like what food do and don't agree with you if you're trying to figure it out like oftentimes my friends already know what is like making them maybe not feel super well what does or like we know what any at least going on with them without doing lab testing like sometimes I'll just like ask well what do you think is going on for your body and like as they're a little bit they've been more educated in our work together and we don't have to like press in so hard to like finding so many answers externally when you like I don't know just really like I love it and I totally agree with you again I was like this allopathic super science analytical nerd and then as I've embraced this other side I find it brings together I mean God created us that way with the you know science and faith and also the intuition and the brain and so these things work so well together and I would agree with you some of my best insight into patients cases and solving some of the problems is when I set temporarily the brain aside and it's all it's analytical stuff and just you know feel and ask them questions and listen and usually they'll tell me the answers and then I'll still prove it with labs or whatever else we need to do but it's so interesting because that's such a powerful sense of wisdom that we all have if we just can relearn how to connect with it yeah I love that um oh my gosh this is so fun to talk to you and I'm sure that people are relating because a lot of people have suffered mold related illness and are sensitive and trying to find a place to live um let's switch gears just a little bit and I want to hear about what you're doing what upcoming projects you have tell me a little bit more about what you do with clients oh yeah well definitely work one-on-one with folks right now that's what really where I've been spending my time in my business so functional medicine nutrition and therapy kind of just the hybrid and just really taking them on a synergistic ride or experience um designing custom programs for them based on I work mostly gut health immune detox from like mold um and hormone balance with just helping women work with their bodies not against that is really kind of like where what I stand for and um but really I feel like the quarantine time has been such a great opportunity of incubation and really have really been diving into working on the gut and total gut reset I just finished a book called the total gut reset that will launch in the spring I guess January time along with program and products like around that but I just really believe health is an inside job and that that message especially during times such as these is one that's not being maybe set enough or preached enough like where we are learning about sanitization and social distancing and wearing masks but like there is so much optimization that can happen from the inside out and so and since our gut health determines so much of our total health it's really helping them misdivide like what like beyond leaky gut and what it wants to to really optimize your gut health to optimize your body from the inside out and so that's where a lot of my energy's been being spent is a not incubation and and then for my eating disorder those in recovery from that I have a program called body love food freedom that really is a functional medicine approach to recovery and just changing the way we do recovery and my next group is kicking off in September for that awesome and and where can people find more information about my website would be the best where they'll get the the latest dr lauren.com and lauren is spelled with a y so dr lauryn.com I will be sure and put that in the notes so that everybody has that link um any last words of wisdom or um thoughts that you have for people listening uh to our interview today I mean I think our greatest setbacks are our biggest comebacks and so just to really use like whatever current setback you are finding yourself in like what is the opportunity here and just for that and then also what we focus on expands and so like where are you putting your energy and your focus and so that's where um I think the greatest growth can happen or the greatest opportunity for for healing I love that well best of luck to you in finding and securing a safe place to live or the house to buy we'll be praying for this wisdom and clear direction for that and um thank you for your time today lauren it's so good to talk to you as always I really appreciate it so fun