 Hello and welcome to Variable News. I'm your host, Actual Aquarius. Cal TV is doing something new this semester. We're bringing you all the happenings in Berkeley with a satirical slant. In an age where most college students get their news online and comedians have more credibility than news anchors, we figured, why not join them? We're building this from the ground up and as you can see behind me, we don't have a studio yet. The ASUC won't let us into MLK. But, despite the dilapidated boxes behind me, we're hitting the ground running like the amped up golden bears we are to bring you news reports that are not just informative, but bearable. This week, we're going to focus on one of our favorite UC Berkeley institutions. As just mentioned, the illustrious ASUC, the Associated Students of the University of California for those of you that don't know. Or as you may know them, the May I Walk You to Class People. The ASUC advertises itself as a 501C3 non-profit organization separate from university governance. But what does that mean? They promise to fund for student clubs and organizations, to provide resources and student programming, and to oversee commercial activities in student services while representing the student body. Somewhere in all of that political jargon, the ASUC works as a governing body that represents us students. But for those of us not in the ASUC, there's a lack of understanding for how exactly all of this ASUC money is collected, how it's allocated, and how control is exerted. But how exactly does it directly impact us? Why don't we know how it impacts us? And most importantly, what happened to the chicken strips at GBC, and why can't they bring Pete the clock back to the bear's lair? We face the fact that students have no idea what this arbitrary organization actually does for them. And since we can't get these answers from the ASUC themselves, we figured we would ask you. For this, we go out to our correspondent, Hannah. Thanks, Ashlyn. I'm Hannah Brandt, and we're here on Sproul to see what you guys have to say about the ASUC. So, do you have any idea what the ASUC stands for? Is it associated student union, you know? No idea. Academic student union community? Close, it's close, it's close. Do you know what the ASUC does on campus? They, like, take my money and they spend it on things that I don't want. Can you think of a better acronym for ASUC? Apple's Smell, and then Camp. No, yeah, that was good. Those were just random words. It seems to me that feelings about the ASUC are pretty clear, even if the institution itself is not. Maybe one day we'll understand exactly what this institution does for us, but until then, we're still broadcasting from a basement underneath Hirshpool. Thank you for joining us here on Variable News. I'm Ashlyn LaPourier-Ressie, and we'll see you next time.