 This video is brought to you by Paramount Plus. Hey, Griff, get over here! We're supposed to recap the latest episodes of Halo! Yeah, I'm coming! Hang on. What's up? How are you out of breath? You just came from right over there, and you stopped to pick a dandelion! Yeah, well, for your information, I ran earlier. When? Uh, fifth grade? P.E.? Yep. Jim Clash here is important for kids. He teaches essential parachute flapping skills, a new social concept like embarrassment. Heh. I love making fun of nerds. So, do you want to start the recap? Ugh! Gimme a minute. I forgot I'm allergic to dandelions. Ugh! Ugh, fine. Okay, so episode six starts with Master Chief in a bad way. He's really going through it, and Cortana's acting like a cheeky narrator, contradicting everything he says. How you feeling, Master Chief? I'm fine. He wasn't. Master Chief is so rattled, he plays Radiation Chicken with Dr. Halsey to test Cortana's limits and get more answers about his past. Mmm, delicious Radiation Chicken! Drumsticks the size of a dentist racket! You can handle the tooth and hair loss? Mmm, mmm, that is good eatin'! Speaking of toxicity, Master Chief and McKee, the Covenant Spy, discover their profound connection and bond over the trauma caused by the artifacts. I sense a troubled, codependent relationship blossoming. After Master Chief plays Bad Cop, Bad Cop with Dr. Halsey, the Admiral fires her and promotes Dr. Keyes. The episode ends with Master Chief and McKee having a contest to see who can have the wettest eyes without crying. And then Master Chief touches the artifact again, sending him and McKee to a beautiful hillside that looks like my desktop background. Your desktop background is a picture of Sarge who photoshopped to make it look like he's giving you a thumbs up. Episode seven takes us back to Quan Han, Soren's adventures. While Soren is having an intergalactic met gala in his asteroid condo, Quan is out to find those desert mystics. I guess she's still sore about missing out on doing all those drugs in episode one, because if you want a wild trip, you gotta find desert mystics. Remember, kids, if you're offered a strange liquid in a tent, you're about to embark on a psychedelic journey. Quan drinks the mystic juice and begins to hallucinate big time. I remember the last time I did hallucinogens. Failed a drug test with flying colors. During her trip, Quan is visited by her father, who tells her about a secret portal on Madrigal and gives her advice on how to beat Venture. How come everyone always learns important stuff while tripping? It's always, here's how to overcome your biggest obstacle and never, these lights look cooler and my friends are really funny. Speaking of friends in high places, Soren hears the bounty on Quan has tripled and goes to Madrigal to help her out. Venture and his gang corner them in the city, and while Soren is cutting through henchmen like a hot plasma sword through butter, Quan turns on the hydrogen pump to blow the place to kingdom calm. Yeah, they set the whole compound to Hindenburg and turned Venture into a smoldering pile of posh cinders. Man, I was really hoping we'd get to see those little red glasses smoking on the ground. In episode eight, we're back with Master Chief and McKee who are having a perfume commercial romance in their Halo dreamscape. It's a lot more caressing than I'd pictured in a Halo show, but you know what? I'm here for it. If you had tasteful sex scene on your Halo Bingo card, you're in luck. Also, a little weird that you had that. Ah! Bingo! Wait, you do? Nope, I have mention of Halo Bingo card and my red versus blue recap Bingo card. That's Bingo squared. Meanwhile, Dr. Halsey, who I'm convinced has never taken a day off in her life, is still up to here with machinations and executes protocol Z, or Zed, if you're of the British persuasion. That lady puts the Q in cuckoo and turns the other Spartans against the Master Chief and attempts to escape with McKee and the artifacts. Sound the lunk alarm because Vanak and Riz go beast mode on Master Chief and toss him around the gym like a sweaty towel. I don't think I'll go to a gym ever again or before. In the end, just as they're about to put Master Chief down for good, McKee gets her hands on the other Keystone, which emits an energy blast that knocks everyone out and shuts down all of Fleetcom. Ooh, major cliffhanger. Kind of like this! Will the Master Chief stop Halsey and rescue McKee? Will the Spartans kill each other? Will the Fleetcom collapse? Will Griff's teammates rescue him from this dizzying precipice? Find out all this, except the last one on the season finale of Halo on Paramount+.