 So let's scroll here. Declan's world starts off. Question, do newly divorced men move slower in relationship? X example, introducing you to kids in extended family? By the way, I just received your book. Declan's world, thank you so much. Do divorced men move slowly? Well, yes and no. So men who are codependent, if you're not familiar with the book, codependent no more, codependent no more. There is a group of human beings that are rather dependent on other human beings, not interdependent dependent. And if a man is codependent, he oftentimes attaches himself to the first woman he meets. He attaches himself to the first woman he meets. In other words, this is a man or woman who cannot live on their own. They literally feel unsafe. It's the Jerry Maguire. I need someone to complete me so I can feel good about myself. In fact, these people are suckling on the nipple of, I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. I repeat that. I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. I'm gonna repeat that. I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. We are suckling on the nipple of that. Many people in the United States. So there's a group of men that immediately attach themselves to other women. The first woman they meet, they oftentimes marry, and they often have a 65% divorce rate, and then they have a 75% divorce rate on their third marriage, because that's one group of men. Then there's the other group of men that are players after the divorce. They're like, oh my God, I have freedom and I have money. Look at the guys with money and have freedom. Oh my God, they turn into players after divorce. And I kind of did that a little bit after my divorce. I wasn't playing, I wasn't a player. I was a serial data after my divorce. I was addicted to the high of meeting women for the first time. I was addicted to that high, so I was a serial data. Then there are other men that are serial monogamous, serial monogamous, and these are men that will enter into a relationship. But I have a theory about people who are serial monogamous. I think these are typically emotionally unavailable or emotionally stunted people that are codependent. They prefer monogamy, but they're not capable of going into deeper intimacy. They're not capable of going into deeper intimacy. Then there's a group of men that take a break from dating, then there's a group of men that the last thing they want to do is ever get remarried. As I said earlier, a lot of men and women don't want to become someone's nurse or doctor or their purse or wallet. So there's all types of different people after divorce. Here's what I have learned. It takes about two years to unravel the tapestry of an old life to integrate into your new life. And most of the time, people have one to two transition relationships during that first two years. So here's the gamble you take by dating someone who's just gone through a divorce. The gamble is, are you gonna be their transition girlfriend? Now I shared this story once before, but I want to share it again. This was right after I moved out of the house when I was going through a divorce and it was about five months into my divorce. And I met this woman online and she said, how long have you been divorced? I said, well, I just got separated five months ago. And she wrote me back saying, reach out to me in 18 to 24 months after you've had one or two transition relationships. I go, what are you talking about? She goes, you're not ready for a relationship. I go, no, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready. And she goes, well, I'm not interested. So sure enough, I met a woman about eight, nine months after my divorce, great woman, fantastic woman, but three months into it, I was so not ready for a relationship. And then about four months later, I met another woman we dated for about three months. And I so wasn't ready for a relationship. And when I thought back to what that woman said, she was right. Not that those were real deep transitional relationships, but it took me years before I was ready for a serious committed relationship. In fact, after my divorce, I went through the tunnel of despair. The market crash of 2008 wiped me out and I began doing drugs and alcohol just to get through the day. And that's a significant number of human beings out there, men and women alike. So the reality is, is it takes a minimum, I think, on average, not as an absolute, a good two years to actually be even consider taking on the responsibility of being in a romantic relationship that leads to commitment. I'm gonna repeat that, just even consider it, takes a couple of years. And those co-dependent people do it very quickly. And guess what? They get divorced just as quickly because they jumped in before they got to know who they were. So coming back to your original question, Declan, do newly divorced men move slower in relationship? Some yes, some no, some operate the different ways I just shared with you. So I hope that helped out. That was a great question. Thank you so much. All right, thank you. Coco writes, question. Coco 2021 writes, question. What are your thoughts for when he doesn't trust women from being hurt in his past a lot? He tells you different, but doesn't seem to trust you and is on guard all the time. Great question. Folks, here's how I feel about dating people with trust issues. No dating. Do not date a woman or man with trust issues. Folks, I have gone out on dates with women who have trust issues. If a person has trust issues, I run the other direction. Now, a couple of reasons why in my world, I talk to women all day long. If a person has trust issues, they're gonna give me shit all day long because what do I do is talk to women all day long professionally. Folks, when someone has an issue, it's on them to heal it on their own time. Your job is not to be the therapist to heal someone that has trust issues. And I would avoid someone with trust issues very much. Someone who's been hurt in the past, someone who has their guard up. Folks, I don't like dating women who have a guard up. If you women have a guard up, that means you're not open and receptive to love. Listen, I'm not here, my father used to say, by the way, my parents are Turkish. So he says it with a little bit Arabic tone. He says, you can put your faith in Allah, but don't forget to tie up your camel. Listen, folks, I'm all in favor. I'm never in favor of being guarded. I'm never in favor of being guarded. I'm in favor of being open and receptive to love and detached from an outcome. Let me repeat that, detached from an outcome. And ladies, as I said at the beginning of this video, you guys are suckling on the nipple of giving your power away to men. That's because you're attached to the outcome. Stop it! Stop giving your power away. Stop being attached to the outcome. There's a dance between being open and receptive and being mindful versus just giving your power away and expecting a result. Look at there, listen, if we learned one thing, there are apps. Folks, I shared earlier I lost a child, okay? If I've learned one thing in life, nothing is guaranteed. You can wake up one morning and get a phone call telling your child passed away. It can happen as fast as that. Life changes at a dime. If I learned one thing from Connor, is to learn to appreciate every day as much as I can possibly appreciate and not get attached to some future outcome. Sure, I might make plans to go on vacation and I buy tickets and things like that. That's, but getting attached to the outcome as if it's, folks, if I can get one say one thing, stop being attached to the outcome with someone because you cannot guarantee what's gonna happen next. And if you're giving your power away to someone, you're literally expecting them to hold your heart and men can't do that. Only you can do that for yourself. Only you can love on yourself. Connor was the inspiration for me. Connor was the inspiration for this book because he taught me one lesson. There are no guarantees. What's most important is living your life to the fullest each day. Chapter one, speak your truth, do it with kindness. Chapter two, stop complaining. Chapter five, don't let anyone fuck with your chi. These are all the lessons I learned from my son. Please order the book so you can learn it. It's a journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work so you don't learn to give your power away to another human being. Thank you for allowing me to go on a tangent and thank you for allowing me to share. All right. Coco, I hope I answered your question. I went off on a tangent there. All right. Leela says, Jonathan, I wanna give you a hug. You're really giving away good advice which we're all thankful and looking up to you. Thank you so much. Stacey says, we all have trust issues. No, I don't have trust issues because I have learned one thing. So let me just say this. I have learned one thing. I can trust myself. I don't put my faith in other people. I put faith in myself. So we can absolutely learn to trust if we learn to trust ourselves. Do we all have issues? Apps of fucking Lutely. Do we all have fears in relationship? Apps of fucking Lutely. And at the same time, we can learn to trust ourselves because the real journey, and this is the journey I've worked on is learning how to trust myself. And that's my invitation for everyone. Anna says, hugs to you. Thank you. All right. Question.