 So Taty Westbrook just made a video discussing everything that went down with James Charles and this might be the final nail in the coffin and we definitely definitely need to talk about this and see what lessons we can learn from it. This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel what I try to do is take a look at the YouTube community whether it's the drama going on or just things that I see that I feel need to be discussed and I try to take this mess and turn it into a message because what good is consuming all of this drama or all of this content if we're not seeing how we can apply it to our own lives. So if you're into that stuff make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. So yeah Taty Westbrook just released her video titled by sister and the second she did that I'm like oh girl and the first thing that I want to address is I made a video about this in the past I discussed the situation and I still I still stand by what I said and Taty Westbrook agrees like what I said originally was like we just live in this weird time where we we feel this need to make everything public and they're like it's just strange like because Taty and James were friends right like why didn't she just like call him or message him or whatever and say yo dude I was hurt by this situation so in her video she says this. So what you guys saw in that IG story that happens like that happens to so many of us like we let our emotions lead because we're creatives and you have access to this piece of technology that allows you to express you know so widely and so quickly. I'm a really really big believer in hitting the pause button thinking things through in that moment I didn't. So here we are and I'm gonna talk about it all. And yeah looking back in hindsight like she she even acknowledges that she should have handled it a different way and she mentions later on in the video like as she mentors other people like James Charles she tries to talk to him and like help help them not make like impulsive bad decisions or to reflect on situations and learn from them. So yeah like let's let's talk about this situation and it definitely opened up my eyes but you guys like here's the thing why am I talking about drama why do I talk about drama because here's the problem in this whole situation the way I see it I imagine the millions and millions of millions of people who are gonna watch this video watch videos on this all sorts of stuff and we're just sitting there just like eating the popcorn or sipping on the tea and we're taking sides like team James or team Taty right but like escapism is good but how is this affecting your own life right like what Taty and James is going are going through like this is something that happens to me it happens to you happens to all of us so as we look at it we need to kind of look at and say okay what can I take from this what can I learn from this situation all right so Taty Westbrook she was she was kind of you know motivated to make this video especially after Gabriel Zamora made some videos about her and everything and Taty Westbrook kind of like explains at the beginning of this video like obviously looking in hindsight maybe she shouldn't have done that that instagram story but now now like you know the the the box is open right like this is started like and hey you might as well dive into it but like some of us have been in this situation before and this is something that I recommend and I'm not a licensed therapist or psychologist or anything I have my own background with mental health issues codependency I've worked in addiction treatment center all sorts of stuff and like so talking about codependency I don't necessarily think this is a bad idea like basically what Taty Westbrook did in this like she was like I am done I am done I'm gonna sit down and make this video and go over all the and she even mentions that like she is done with this friendship with this relationship maybe in the future like like I I don't I don't personally believe that anybody really like there are some very specific cases like of terrible terrible awful things right like murder you know like murder maybe don't forgive the person but James Charles is 19 so like maybe in a year or two when he pulls his head out of his young ass and figures out what he's doing with his life how he's just walked over people use people manipulate people maybe if he grows and learns from this maybe him and Taty can have a relationship again but it's going to take like a real serious apology it's going to take like the real showing of remorse you know but if you're somebody who's in somewhat of a codependent relationship or just even a toxic relationship like I don't recommend like making a youtube video and like going nuts on it but sometimes you got to drop that nuclear bomb just so you can be done with it right just so you can get out of that relationship and I feel that's what Taty did in this situation so basically throughout this this video Taty explains how this wasn't just it wasn't just that James Charles did this endorsement for sugar bear hair like that was just that was just the straw that broke the camels back and she goes on through this thing and man man can I empathize with Taty Westbrook in this situation like she talks about how their relationship wasn't transactional all she did was give and give and give and try to help and try to support right and something that I often talk about is self-seeking like we do things for other people without expecting anything in return and it seems like Taty was really being selfless in this situation just giving to James trying to promote James Charles trying to build him up trying to do all of this and it sounds like she was pretty cool with it when James Charles like recognized you know who his audience and who his demographic is and why he wasn't gonna promote Halo Beauty and all that but it felt like such a stab in the back when he went on and did this for sugar bear hair because he had already told Taty that he doesn't he doesn't want to promote products like that right but like just imagine imagine like put yourself in Taty's shoes for just a minute and imagine being there for somebody like this is one of the reasons why I can imagine a parent you know if their child did something just just so awful to them right like you've done so much for them you know what I mean so in Taty's situation she wasn't giving expecting anything in return and a lot of us do that but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt when that person turns against you so for me for me not only my father but my son's only ten he hasn't gotten to the age where he's like can really screw me over yet but in my addiction recovery this is something that's happened to me before right because I come from a 12 step background where we're taught like once you get this thing once you get this sobriety thing you help others I have found my life's purpose through helping others just giving freely of myself just sharing my experience teaching others what I have learned as a part of my own addiction recovery a part of my own mental health recovery a part of my own like overcoming getting out of toxic relationships and my issues from childhood and trauma and all these other things I give that freely to other people but in addiction recovery we we see this happen and I have had people who I have done nothing but give to right like not only have I given to them but they they don't have anything to offer me in return there's no transaction available like especially when you're dealing in addiction recovery and this isn't a knock at people who are newly sober it's just the truth like when I first got sober I had like three pairs of clothes no money my life was a mess I was a mess right like everybody who was helping me I had nothing to give them so when I'm helping others who just newly get sober like what are they gonna give me they have nothing to give me and that's cool I don't need anything from them I get joy out of not only being the opportunity to help them by sharing my experience but I get joy from seeing that evolution and don't get me wrong I have worked with countless people like at the drug addiction treatments that I was working at I work with thousands of people and so many of them were doing well and the brightest part of my day is when any of my old clients get ahold of me and and just say Chris thank you thank you you know what I mean and they thank me but there are also those who turn on me right they turn on me or and they'll they'll talk smack about me or they'll you know blame me for you know something even though it was their own responsibility all those things so I absolutely get it and understand so if you're somebody who's been through this as well what helps me out what helps me let go and get past it and this is something that Tati Westbrook talks a lot about when she's talking about the situation with James Charles she just wants to let go and move on right so I I personally have to practice forgiveness and something that I do is that I I try I try to realize that this this isn't a bad person this is a sick person all right like whether you want to you know see them as spiritually sick or or mentally sick whatever it is like James Charles like hey the dude's like not even 21 the prefrontal cortex the logical decision-making part of your brain doesn't fully develop until your mid to late 20s James Charles is an idiot kid right that's what I'm saying like maybe later on him and Tati can have a relationship but but what would help me if I was in Tati's situation to say this is a sick person not necessarily a bad person right even though his actions are bad like I think it's important that we separate the actions from the person right because if not we can give him to this whole pessimistic nihilistic type of frame of mind where we just think everybody's awful and all sorts of stuff so the last thing I want to talk about is this clip right here I'm not going to let that happen to me and if I fall apart because people don't like what I have to say or that I said it loud here on my channel I guess that's on me and this is my choice because I've always been a person that wanted to not let fear control me that's been an issue of mind in the past and I want for anybody out there that is letting fear and power and someone else telling you how to feel because there will be a consequence don't let that fear eat you up you are free to be who you want to be you're free to speak up if something's not feeling okay and if you ever need to defend your character go for it and I hope at minimum I'm an example and that that tattoo Westbrook is how you end this on a high note right like tattoo Westbrook was talking about the fear she had about making this video and and I get it like whenever I see anybody whenever I see anybody going against James Charles there's like this fear there's this fear that the sisters are gonna go crazy on them right like the sisters are not above making death threats and going crazy so I understand tattoo Westbrooks fear in that but I think it's a powerful message for anybody out there whether you're struggling with just like regular fear or like true anxiety you know what I mean like be true to you do what you think is right move forward work hard and just realize it's going to be work worth it every single challenge that we go through every single time that we overcome fear in my opinion it builds this resilience in us all right like I am not a neuroscientist but there are studies that prove like this is why exposure therapy works when we continue to face our fears our amygdala starts to chill the hell out and we stop being as afraid the next time we go into that situation all right so a few morals of this video and this whole situation that's going down one is don't be a dick if somebody has helped you out along the way like respect them and chill out and don't let your ego lose control all right everybody needs mentors and we need to respect our mentors we need to respect the people who have been through what we've been through right I'm not here to say that every person older than you who has walked a certain path knows everything and is never wrong but we need to respect their experience but the other thing on this is let go move forward all right because resentment holding on to resentment they say is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies so we got to let go of this stuff and I always say this forgiveness isn't about letting the other person off the hook forgiveness is about letting ourselves off the hook all right but anyways that's all I got for this video if you like this video please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos turning the mess into a message and a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon you're all amazing and if you would like to become a patron you can click or tap right there all right thanks again so so much for watching I'll see you next time