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People don't want to hear as much as perhaps the people here. Sometimes I don't have three minutes or an hour to talk to personally. That's why I wanted to hear so definitely. But I'm going to let them off instead of talking to all of them. You wouldn't have any suggestions. I'm sure you would. I appreciate it. Sure, at least there's no good for the president. Yeah, the more you get into the transformation of mine, the more it does seem to be more effortless. Almost like you're transparent. It's just boring, radiating through, and it feels very joyful and more natural, less abrupt. There's a couple of aspects to your question that are very helpful. First aspect I'll talk a little bit about is the idea of being appropriate. You'll find that the Holy Spirit will speak through. In general, what I've always found is the message of the joy, the freedom, the happiness, the laughter that is really the message so it comes through in a way that could be most helpful, as of course kind of puts it to the miracle receiver. And so that's one aspect of everybody that gets lighter and lighter and lighter. It feels more and more involuntary and miracles are involuntary. And whenever there's a sense of trying to have a little bit of control that comes in there, that's where the acceptance comes in and it can feel inappropriate and for somebody the signs can be like people are turned off for breaking my contact, changing the subject, you have to compete to their verbal very direct like get out of my face, I've heard enough for the subtle more nonverbal clues that people use to get, you know, which is that's enough. I was thinking about, I was traveling in Toronto recently and a friend of mine was going through absence from Felicity and he reminded me of the story where Helen Shuckman is late for work. She's been describing the course and she gets to work and she's late for work and when she comes back she would feel as if Jesus had here I am doing your work and describing of course it's very close and I get to work and I'm late as like this is she was projecting on Jesus and basically Jesus said well, you know, you have to ask me when to stop and when to start and we're basically saying Will's scribes should be under Christ's control and basically said that the reason she seemed to be late for work and she had all the stinker coming up because of indiscriminate miracle working indiscriminate miracle working and there's Helen Shuckman who's been going down for seven years and she has been in indiscriminate miracle work and I just had to laugh when I read it because I thought okay, so it just shows you about what we're talking about when we talk about being under Christ's control nearly letting go of the ego so that there's a real attentiveness in the sense that he was saying to Helen you could ask me when to start and ask me when to stop and so on and so forth don't take anything for granted and think about how in human relationships that's the way it goes at the beginning when you have the first date and you're all attentive and you put on good impressions and everything is so Christ intended you've been married for 20 years yeah, yeah, see the same thing I know exactly what you're going to do and you know what I'm going to do so that's just the familiarity between them the ego thing, things it knows even the simplest things like what relationships are who people are, how things are going to go and things like even describing course the other thing I'd like to talk about is the thing about being appropriate my friend Dorothy, I remember Dorothy when I met her early on years ago in Moscow we would have these discussions and I noticed a lot of times that Dorothy is that we would go around to different places and Dorothy was just beaming and her cheeks were a rosy red and she was just a bundle of joy just flowing, flowing, flowing joy and some real singers would come out of her mouth but I mean, I don't know the world would even judge them appropriate but they were so profound that they would stop the show in fact a lot of times sometimes people's jaws would drop and their heads would turn kind of like to do a double take like what did she just say and then they would look at her and see her just absolutely beaming and they would kind of turn and go yeah, yeah, that's right so what would probably could be judged from the world some real singers, you know a Jesus like those some pretty good singers and his time is simple but it's not so much the words it's the presence behind the words and you really get into the joy your presence teaches in fact it teaches to demonstrate so I would say Dorothy was just flowing around and her great joy always demonstrating great great joy that was normally beyond the words but occasionally the little singers would come out and the heads would turn and the mouths would drop and then it would be a great thing I'm sure they would probably think about it later in the day like wow, I've never thought of it that way it was just kind of like a bright star like a comet in a dark night so it's not always that the Holy Spirit will guide you to just be appropriate in the sense that what the courtsman will do will take you out equally but it will also give you the joy of really teaching behind the words because we all know that we've had spiritual teachers and people we've looked up to and the words have sounded very eloquent but unless there's the presence behind the words and unless there's the consistency of that state of mind then you know how children are if the parents say don't do this, don't do that if the parents don't demonstrate the integrity and the consistency then the kids will not pay attention to the parent it's similar with us when we really get into the likeness and heaviness and peace and joy that the Course is all about that the presence, the I am presence is that's really what does the teaching and then you won't have to worry so much about how people take the words the beatitudes will speak so loud that they'll shout beyond the words and the third aspect I'd like to talk a little bit about characterizing the movement with that thing about indiscriminate miracle working miracles are involuntary and so if there's an aspect of control that's involved about where instead of the miracles like oh so and so they really gotta hear this if you find yourself going to family members and certain people with your fights where you feel like you've moved the wrong way and you start to get into a little bit of a discourse here and there about no this is the way it really is then this is where the ego's control is coming in because miracles should inspire and bless and should bring a sense of joy not like you're trying to cram something down somebody's throat and there's a great section of the Course on Correction there where he basically says your brother is always right even if he's speaking the same way because he has a son of God what a powerful section your brother is always right and that's how you stay happy when we were talking about people should rather be right or happy if you always remember that your brother is always right even if they're speaking the same way then you see the calls for love and you let your light shine and you'll know there's joy there but once you start getting into correcting then that's where the error is coming in it's as if somehow the truth is some kind of intellectual or conceptual endeavor and that these people don't have the correct concepts but truth is an experience he says and it cannot be described or explained in the experience so that should be like a key indicator of what these miracles are about so I always just remember in voluntary where Linda Carpenter and I were talking too about when you just show up with presence that's it you've completed your full responsibility not so much showing up just in order but when you come with willingness to just be truly helpful and you're completely clueless about how to do it you are in a real good state of mind because then the Holy Spirit can flow through you so ever even if you show up and you're willing to be helpful but you still are going to try to use some class learning like KLS Week of the Miracle conference I did this technique or this that you know you're going to find you're still going to get into struggles because if you're trying to bring anything from the past to the present it's not going to really allow the Holy Spirit to flow through so it does take seemingly practice that's what this is really about it's great that the study of the book and the doing of work with lessons the teacher manual they're really all very important but in the end it's that experience of you know forget this world forget this course and come and open arms unto your God that you know you may for a while use the words of the course or the actual book as like a prop but in the end you want to be able to set the prop down and just say okay here we go Holy Spirit let's wing it let's go okay kind of like the nestling that finally gets pushed out of the nest you've got plenty of time in the nest you've got those wings and you know try them out and everything but once you finally get pushed out of the nest then that's when the real one doing begins and you get hit or really fought your wings and let the Spirit be that gust of wind underneath you and then you were coming over here on the ferry and you were watching they were saying that the updraft coming up from around the boat was just lifting and the seagull were just like right above us and it was such a powerful symbol of these seagulls right above our heads just not moving at all they were just allowing the updraft from the boat to come and just carry them for a little bit of a joy ride all the way over here so that's a kind of a symbol that reminds you of that I've always had a life during me and about two years ago I was told that I still had these memories so years passed on this big face for me and you it was just like almost like everything turned off finally found something that I wanted to do and I was searching inside of this island to try to see it and what it is that's causing still the love to understand this now that you hear so much of today the people of Spirige during this time was forgotten in the summer and changed and prayed I'll pray I have a question that's on this tree you realize in the waking up that's what you're going from as we still it's like the being of a body leaving flesh to an experience of self as pure spirit so we're going from the realm of the temporary and finite into the realm of the eternal and the infinite and what seems to occur in many cases are lots of things that seem to come up suddenly they can be unpredictable they can obviously involve the five senses and for a lot of aspects of science it evolves different psychic experiences visions body extremes in terms of temperatures diet appetite sexual appetite sleep patterns carries back they're leaning against the post back there she came to a little peace house and one day was just reporting that it felt like her face was going to explode so I could just pressure her got more and more intense it felt like her face was just going to blow up and explode and each other reminded us really louder louder louder just louder huge volume and she ended up going into our attic which was very hot and there was probably any ventilation and she went in there and she turned the light off went in the dark and actually moved deeper in her mind to a point of this terror absolute terror would be in line with the panic attack and then Mark was just beating bang boom boom boom boom at this point and then he came down and was just shaking all over it was an absolute trauma he was taking but that actually led us into an openness and a discussion of me talking to her about you know what do you feel you need and what is your inner self calling for it's always a call into something it's never a way the world would say it's like let's diagnosis and figure out what the problem is but the problem is never what it seems to be because it's always the belief in separation in the matter which is really deep and very very very so in Harry's case it's like in a matter of minutes we were able to choose to say I've never given myself permission to just have silence in 30 years I've never given myself permission to just go off somewhere with complete unstructured time and have food and water and not a lot of distractions computers and phones and plots and all kinds of things and so that experience which paralleled yours in many ways was just like a doorway to getting in touch with what do I need to give myself permission what haven't I given my given my mind permission to do I'm going through all these things I mean when I was a kid I remember you know church was not always the most positive experience taking kind of ritual mystic and some of the heavens I was more like funeral churches and you know and something singing church and the rituals and the archeology and the benediction over and over I remember making myself sick so I wouldn't have to go to church and and I'd say I think I've got a fever I've got a fever I've got it I've got a fever while we're cooking now and it's getting in the air I've got a fever while it's getting a ticker you know and it's like you know lesson 136 sicknesses is a dance against the truth he talks about it's a decision that we make when we're too afraid of love and we think we have to do something to get out of something or to make something happen we think that sickness is it'll get us what we want and until we start to realize that we can just get what we want by by desiring with all our heart and letting go of these crazy ego distortions then the best way to look at those symptoms that you're talking about is this is a call to give you your own permission and get in touch with what what you really want what's really there that you're calling on to do so that's the best way to look at those kind of things because I encounter a lot of people who go through a lot of things like that and when you were talking to it was reminding me I don't think I've ever read the book but somebody was telling me one time years ago about his reference it was called like Johnny gets your gun or something about a man and who apparently as the book goes on it seems like he kind of figured out that he's just been in a war he's kind of he's so delusional and he just doesn't he's not in touch with what's going on but if the book moves along he thinks I think I must have just been on a battlefield and then if the book progresses through the chapters he realizes that that he can't see and then that he can't hear and he goes a little further and he can't smell and he goes further and he can't taste and he can't touch then he has no use in all of his five senses but the book reaches the climax of course at the very end where he realizes I still exist I still exist and in any use of the five senses I still exist think how different that is from the ego sphere when the senses start to go you know how many of us when we were kids or young we might have thought when you probably if I couldn't see or if I lost a limb ever ponder those things you know well it's like in your case where the senses seem to be shutting down or dying the panic attacks are coming from the ego and it's going oh my god that is terrible I'm disappearing my resources my means of of pursuing the world we're going well the neat thing about it is you start to realize that consciousness of the mind is not dependent on the five senses in fact the reason I point this out is like a lot of times people I know a lot of people who come to me to know say they've had out of body experiences where some people have had what they call new death experiences I call them new life I think it's new life doesn't make any sense to them but what happens is they find themselves up in the corner of the room or floating above the bottom there's many new death experiences that talk about or people who have a lot of body experiences and they say I could hear everything that was going on and I could see everything in the room and I could could even smell things I mean they describe in vivid detail everything that goes on word for word and how it looks the colors, the vibrancy and everything and yet they tell you that they're up in the corner of the room looking down their body looking down their body with what is there an eyeball of the death attack in the corner of the room is there a little ear up there a little brain a little neurotransmitter is there they're perceiving the whole scene without eyes and rows and ears and fingers and everything they're perceiving the whole thing that's why when people say to me about somebody I feel so bad I had my chance to talk to someone so forgive them but now they're in a coma it says the body lying there in a coma has had no way of communicating but communication is not limited to the five senses but we're telling you five senses literally have nothing nothing to do with existence or with communication well everyone we talk about workshops and talking about things and being able to say open up with words in this net there is no communication going on on the horizontal plane and this world is the horizontal plane that all the force is doing is helping us get in touch with variable we might say communication which is communion in the name of the helicopter's book communion this is about communion and communion is a state of revelation in which you know your creator now that is communication and all this stuff that involves words and the five senses is what Jesus says words are but symbols of symbols twice removed from reality which point is that words are no place you know and even this thing about the book and being a scripture and holding words and everything well if there are symbols of symbols twice removed from reality all public sphere students are saying we can use these words to help train your mind in meditation in this but some of the visualizations are about in the workbook and we can use provided meditations and so forth but we can really get into the workbook you see that it's about wanting beyond the words in fact there is even a place in the workbook where Jesus says our use for words is almost over now wow that's good news it's not this is a frightening thing or a threatening thing this is the good news of the kingdom so hopefully this helps in the sense that what it does is it starts to put things into perspective that when things start to get your ego starts to panic you can just start to relax and let go and ease into the experience that your mind is calling for that's beyond sense and I should mention the parents behind me that she that was a very pivotal experience going into that how I had it because very shortly after that we ended up going down to Tennessee into a very remote little cabin that was very rustic in the mountains of northern Tennessee and stocked her up with water and food for about three weeks and she zipped into a mystical experience and just went on and on and on after she gave her mind permission and that came right on the heels seemingly out of the face that was ready to explode a pain of a loud voice a voice that's in her mind and noise the chatter turned up to a high volume which seems like you're dying it's really how it feels but actually it's just going right past that to the experience to really a long long song