 Well, hello and welcome to Jonathan from the heart. I'm Jonathan as I have Jonathan as I comment I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic when he stops chasing do this to see the magic happen Magic is that what magic looks like really quickly if this resonates with you This is actually my Saturday morning videos They shoot that are very similar to the videos that I shoot my private group called midlife love mastery There's a link below in the in the comment section in the description These are This is part of a monthly membership where you get to ask me questions and I shoot videos based on the questions That he asked in the group. So it's very personalized very private and it's only 20 dollars a month Okay our topic When he stops chasing you do this to see the magic happen All right, there's two stories. I want to share with you today and one actually comes from one of the members in our group And in this share She tells us the story about a man that she met online. She initiated contact Most likely it was probably bumble where women do the initiation And they communicated a little bit got on the phone scheduled a date and they met up And it turns out they had a really good date and afterwards they exchanged phone numbers And then you know and basically she left the ball in his court to plan another date Okay, she left the ball in his court to plan another date And he just didn't seem to be initiating. He didn't initiate that next step And that's very common for a lot of men, you know, now we could say he's just not that into her But let's not let's not focus on that for a second So she posted a question in the group and my suggestion was hey reach out to him from a place of curiosity curiosity meaning Initiate an opportunity to meet up again and leave the leave the option of like hey no harm no foul In other words, if you're not interested, that's fine, too And she did that And he wrote back a really really nice response. They engaged a little bit and they moved on Now you might be wondering what does this have to do with chase? Well Ladies, I want you to think about this a lot of coaches will tell you to lean back and let the man pursue And give him space to come to you, right? My philosophy is a little bit different. I want you to start leaning in start leaning into yourself start leaning into your truth In fact, one of the first chapter in my book Chat my book is called what the heck is self-love anyway? Speak your truth do it with kindness. That's what she did. She spoke her truth Okay, she spoke her truth. She was just sharing what was coming up And he responded back very kindly and it turns out he just wasn't in a good place Okay, now here's why this is an important lesson to understand Because had she waited and waited and waited she would have lamented Okay, she would have lamented and wondering I've got to do the lean back method because that's what works, right? And she would have been frustrating she cut to the chase That's the magic the magic is for you not for the guy The magic is for you to lean into yourself to lean into your sovereignty to lean into your power Okay Now I just want you to recognize that because the real magic is the self-love you feel for yourself And I asked her after she wrote back. Um, she shared the story. I go, don't you feel better now? And she goes absolutely. I feel so much better instead of this cat and mouse reverse psychology game that's being played But I want to talk about the deeper issue around chasing because here's what oftentimes happened I said there was two parts to this story A man comes on strong And then once the relationship has been hooked hooked hooked We men tend to nest in the relationship We begin to stop investing in the romantic aspects of the relationship because what we're really talking about when we think of chase It's not necessarily the whole he He hooks you and you you know, you fall for it. I'm sorry. I don't mean you fall for it But you fall for him It's more about how much is being invested throughout the relationship How much energy is being invested to you know, giving each other attention affection and appreciation Um So I want to lean into that a little bit. By the way, my coffee mug says unstoppable the unsta- I am unstoppable Are you unstoppable? Please tell me post a comment below And if you're curious about my t-shirt the t-shirt says That's what I do. I drink and I know things and that's from the game of thrones terrian lannister If any of you are a game of thrones game of thrones fans, please let me know. I was so bummed when it's It ended Although i'm not sure if the ending was all that great. Anyway, all right So we're gonna i'm going to introduce you to something new today a new book Because what I want to introduce you if you want to get him to chase you if you want the magic to happen I've always said ladies. You are in charge of your relationship destiny You are in charge of your destiny So and it's about introducing the concept of co-creating a relationship Co-creating relationship in other words not expecting the man to lead and you just follow right behind him, right? It's more about how can we create this as a two-way street? And I got a great story to share with you in a few minutes Okay But i'm going to actually introduce you to a new book the book is called chatting or cheating chatting or cheating And the subtitle is how to detect infidelity rebuild love in a fair proof your relationship Now why am I introducing this book has nothing to do with cheating? But the author There's a picture of her my ex-girlfriend dr. Sherry meyers I was actually actively involved in the in her writing this book I mean I was there with her throughout the whole process. In fact, I think i'm on one of these pages of acknowledgments But what I appreciate about this book is not about the infidelity piece Is okay, how do you rebuild love when there's tension? How do you rebuild love when there's been friction? So in the same venue because he's not chasing he's nested into the relationship How can you rebuild that love and and doing it from a place of a two-lane street and what I love about her book This isn't a book to give to him What I love about this book is the back half is all about how to rebuild that spark how to rebuild that Erotic attraction for one another because that's oftentimes what's missing in a relationship is that erotic attraction for one another And if you're waiting for the guy to do it Look at there ain't no magic going to happen You're going to have to do this if you want to create the magic So I highly recommend reading this to learn and and yes, you can give him a copy of this book. You can give him a copy of this book But i'm going to introduce you to another book that i've been talking about frequently frequently frequently And I have another story to share with you This happens to be from a youtube follower and she's in a relationship with a man And i'm not sure if it was going stale per se, but she listened to my advice By the way, are you guys listening ladies? Are you listening to my advice? Is this sinking in please post a comment? You know, I'm kind of a rambunctious kind of a Puritan at all this i'm kind of a little bit righteous and I act like your big brother Trying to protect you from the wrong guys and get you to the right guys So please let me know if this is sinking in And I haven't cursed yet in this video so I will fuck Uh But what she did was she introduced the book eight dates to the man she's dating eight dates Why this is so critically important is men don't know the roadmap to relationship at midlife Men at midlife don't know the roadmap to relationship because the old roadmap of of You know going to college getting a job meeting a girl getting married buying a house starting a family Doesn't exist anymore for most of us in midlife and most of us don't know how to blend families together Blend families together So this is why real important conversations need to be had and just like the youtube follower shared it with me She introduced the book to the guy And he loved it because now he's got the roadmap and they got the roadmap together She bought two copies of this book bought two copies of this book by the way if you want, um There's links to my jonathan recommends in the description. So check out the link below Also, if if this is resonating with you again, I've got my midlife love mastery group And you can definitely schedule a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you Because that's what I do is I help you along this process because here's the thing about chasing I want you to think about when a man or or a woman is going out and getting a job You will hunt you will chase you will do everything to make this job happen And you get this job you prove yourself to your boss your boss is here and you're here And you're constantly trying to prove yourself to your boss So you're putting an effort effort effort effort effort because it's a one up one down situation In relationship, it's a two lane street So it requires both of you to be on the street both of you moving the bus But most men don't know how to move the bus Once you guys Once the penis is inside the vagina work lulus This is why I say to you ladies if you're going to allow that to happen Then you get to lead the bus and it and it's basically is an introduction It's an invitation for him to follow you on this path of learning the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship Is this sinking in please tell me because ladies i'm tired of You guys complaining because you're following this idea that men are chivalrous and they're going to follow They're going to lead and all that kind of stuff. They're going to be the pride and prejudice I mean I just makes me want to throw up when I hear this this masculine and feminine and doing and receiving Listen love is really simple, but relationships are complex And if you don't know the roadmap, how can you be in a healthy happy relationship by the books? I recommend if you're watching my videos do you watch my videos? I recommend lots of different books In fact, I just and it recommended a new book again Chatting you're cheating. This is all about learning how to rebuild a relationship after it falls So why not figure out what they do? And you can apply it to your love life right now Because that's what I do. I drink and I know things All right, do you have any comments? Do you have some questions? Please post it below Please I want to hear it as most of you who follow me know I literally read every question and if you want to work with me as a coach Then fill out the the form to schedule a free discovery call the sea of working with me is right for you All right. I'm going to sign off this video as I always do first off I'm going to give myself a big gigantic job to bear hug self love I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm going to ask you to turn to someone and give them a hug of love because we could all use some loving right now And hugs are a great source of love. I want to thank you so much and wishing you a super duper wonderful day. Bye. Bye now