 This hurts the narcissist more than anything. There's nothing a narcissist hates more than not getting what they want. They're not having a situation work out in their favor. They always have to have everything their way. It is very important to them and you will notice this whenever you try to do something differently. They always have to have the situation pan out in the way that they would like. They always have to get what they want and what they want more than anything else. It's acceptance, a sense of belonging. People who agree with their beliefs in an idea or explanation. That's why their image of reputation is so important to them because they care a lot about what people think of them. Which is why somatic narcissists spend so much time focusing on their physical appearance and cerebral narcissists spend so much time learning and researching. Narcissists are codependent. They have excessive emotional and psychological reliance on you. They require your approval and validation. They are heavily dependent on your acceptance. They need to feel like they belong somewhere. Acceptance is more important to them than being authentic. And they mixed of acceptance with attention. They think that any form of attention is acceptance. And if being nice to you doesn't get your attention. They will say or do hurtful things. It still gets your attention. It makes them feel like they are something significant to you. It makes them feel like they are occupying space in your mind. Which to them is acceptance. They feel like they belong somewhere. Acceptance is so important to the narcissist. That they abandoned who they really are and created a false self. They disowned their true self because they believed it wasn't good enough. They believed that it would never be accepted. Narcissists will even hurt other people. Who engage in behaviour that violates moral laws, norms or standards. To prove their loyalty to a personal group. Even if they know that what they are doing is immoral or unethical. Nothing is more important to a narcissist than that feeling of acceptance, that sense of belonging. But without it, they feel like they are not good enough. They feel worthless and insignificant. They feel insecure. As though they are not safe. It's a primal mechanism. They feel vulnerable on their own. They feel as though they are at risk of danger or harm. As though they cannot survive. They are in survival mode. So they will do whatever it takes to be accepted by the tribe. They will do whatever it takes to acquire that sense of safety and stability. What the narcissist hates more than anything is when they don't get what they want. When a situation does not pan out in their favour and what they want more than anything is acceptance. When a narcissist does not feel accepted, it destroys them. They didn't accept who they really were. They abandoned themselves and created a false self. But the false self is based on other people's ideals. It's based on what they think other people find desirable or attractive. It has nothing to do with what the narcissist values or believes in. It's based on what they think other people want to see. And what they think will get them attention. And if they can't get that attention by being kind or friendly, then they will try to hurt you. It still makes them feel like there's something significant to you. It still makes them feel like they're occupying some space in your mind. Which of their minds is acceptance? As long as they get in some form of attention, they feel like they're being accepted in something. It gives them a sense of belonging. Which is all they really want. They just don't want to feel like they're alone in this. Because then they're forced to reflect on how they really feel about themselves. Deep down they feel worthless and insignificant. Deep down they know their false self isn't real. Which is why they will do whatever it takes to feel like it exists. They will engage in reckless behavior. They will do whatever it takes to get attention. Just to feel like they exist. Just to feel like they're worth something. And the reason why they want attention is because they just want to feel accepted by someone. They just want to feel like they belong somewhere. Which is why what hurts the narcissist more than anything. Is when you do not accept them. When you reject them. When you dismiss them as inadequate and acceptable or faulty. When you fail to show due affection or concern for them. When you refuse to accept or agree with something they said or did. The narcissist cannot deal with rejection. They hate rejection more than anything. Which is why. If you can no longer tolerate the narcissist's behavior. And you discard the narcissist first. It completely destroys them. They will never see you in the same way ever again. They will treat you with contempt. As though you're worthless or beneath their consideration. They will be bitter and resentful towards you. They will hold a grudge. They will say and do whatever they think will hurt you the most. They will triangulate you. Publicly humiliate you. They will stalk and harass you. They will enforce flying monkeys. And start a smear campaign against you. They will do whatever it takes. To make you feel the way that they did. When you rejected them. When you refuse to message them back on social media. When you refuse to answer their call. There is nothing that hurts the narcissist more than rejection. Because deep down all they want is attention. All they want is to feel accepted by someone. And while they may not always go the right way about it. That's all that they were really looking for. Thank you for watching. I hope this video wears it with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. Check out the new Narc Survival website at www.narcsurvival.co.uk Where you can read my blog posts, book coaching sessions and join a support forum. If you were elected to NAE. My PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries. You can email me at coaching at narcsurvival.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.