 In honor of Valentine's Day I thought it would be a great time to talk about healthy relationships so I am going to see if my beautiful girlfriend and I, Tristan, have a healthy relationship. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health. Typically what I do is pull topics from the YouTube community to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being but I talk about mental health in general and mental awareness and all that other stuff so make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. Yes it is Valentine's Day I have been with my beautiful amazing girlfriend Tristan for a little over two years now so I'm surprising her with this video but I hope all of you can take a look at this and see what a healthy relationship looks like. I talk a lot about unhealthy relationships and with the Shane Dawson, Brittany Louise Taylor story I've talked about science to look for of you know abusive relationships and all that but this is actually the equality wheel which you should look at to see if you have a healthy relationship all right so whether you're single or you're in a relationship this video should be beneficial to you all right so I'm going to be analyzing my relationship and going through these things I'll be what 100% honest with you and let's see what's going on so this first section I'm going to start at the top right and work my way in a clockwise type of motion all right so open communication being able to express your feelings or opinions knowing it's okay to disagree saying what you mean and meaning what you say yes yes yes yeah this is something awesome about our relationship is that we can disagree on stuff and that's cool like that's okay and sometimes like we both get a little sassy with each other but we still respect each other when we have disagreements and eventually we just get to a point like okay you like this I like that that's totally cool and it's it's on just certain things that we have different views or different opinions maybe it's even on the content that I'm going to make or whatever and sometimes I put it up and sometimes she's right sometimes I'm right but that's totally cool and like that's what I love too because like just disagreeing on something doesn't escalate into this huge thing I get used to when I used to be on unhealthy relationships intimacy respecting your partner's boundaries respecting each other's privacy not pressuring your partner being faithful all right well being faithful heck yeah well Tristan you better be being faithful girl no but um respecting each other's boundaries and privacy like man it's so nice being in a trusting relationship like where I don't gotta worry about her going through my phone I'm not trying to like get into her phone and seeing what's going on and all of that like we don't have to do that but we also give each other space when we need it too and like a lot of people and you know like we're like oh my god are you gonna be okay living with each other and like we're able to take time to ourselves while also spending time with each other physical affection holding hands hugging kissing sitting or standing with your arm on your partner's shoulder respecting each other's uh right to say no asking before acting yeah yeah it's pretty pretty good there um physical affection yeah like we cuddle on the couch and stuff or you know out in public and you know like we're not like one of those couples who does like a ton of pda like I don't know I think that would make us both kind of uncomfortable um but yeah we have no problems showing each other affection or hugging or holding hands or you know whatever it is fairness and negotiation accepting change being willing to compromise working to find solutions that are agreeable to both people agreeing to disagree sometimes so yeah the agreeing to disagree that kind of goes back to the open communication but yeah accepting change and being willing to compromise like that's huge for for the relationship like I I've been in unhealthy relationships where it was like keeping score and it was like who won and you know like you you know what relationship I'm talking about but we're both willing to change and adapt to things you know we're both pretty laid back and we like don't let like things like just completely knock us off guard or like knock us off the track like don't get me wrong we've had stresses like moving is a huge stressor like we're both stressed during that but like things change and we adapt and like I think the important thing there is to be there for one another because sometimes things change in her life and what she has going on sometimes things change in my life and what I have going on and we both support one another and then when something changes for the both of us like we're there to like calm each other down and focus on the solution because you know that's what we do shared responsibility making decisions together uh splitting or alternating the cost on dates doing things for each other going places you both enjoy giving as much as you receive so yes yes yes yes like we like we don't make decisions without each other like sometimes she even looks at me like I'm dumb like I'll be like hey are you cool with this and she's like yeah why'd you even ask me that right but we make decisions together and what else did this say splitting costs alternate yeah like one of the things I talked about in a video before we moved in together I was like how do you guys manage your finances so we like we we have our bills split you know um we'll alternate on groceries sometimes and all that and then like doing things for one another today she actually surprised me by getting me like one of my favorite drinks I posted the instagram story one of my favorite drinks from a coffee shop here and it was a red velvet mocha and like I totally wasn't even expected it she just like surprised me with it it was actually a funny conversation so real quick story she's like hey you're gonna be home for a little bit uh listen for the door I'm like why is there a package like what's happening like I get anxious like I get crazy thoughts in my head like I'm well but I'm still a little sick you know I'm like you're like hiring a hitman to come murder me and she's like wouldn't tell me what it was so I get the knock at the door I'm like all right please please please please you know and I thought it was gonna be a package for her but now she surprised me with a little red velvet mocha respect paying attention to your partner even when your friends are around valuing your partner's opinions even if a difference differs from yours listening to what your partner has to say well neither of us really hang out with people so I guess we're cool now um Tristan is from northern California she moved down to Las Vegas um a few years ago and like I have friends but we don't hang out all the time but yeah like when we're around friends like a lot of my friends like absolutely love Tristan and we just went a couple weeks ago to another friend's like kind of like charity show um it was like an animal charity benefit show but yeah Tristan gets along great with my friends you know um they're respectful to her she's respectful to them but yeah this going back to like respecting each other's opinions and stuff like I get that like I respect like I know Tristan has had all of her life experiences that have turned her into the amazing woman that she is I have mine you know and we just have different views on things but one of the things is and I've said this um for all the single people out there like dating like like some people are looking for someone who's like a carbon copy of themselves likes all the same things like one of the things I love about Tristan and our relationship is like we do have different opinions on different things we have different likes and dislikes and I get to learn and grow through our relationship like she's introduced me to things she's helped expand my mind on different topics and all of that so I absolutely love that trust and support being supportive wanting the best for your partner knowing your partner likes you offering encouragement when necessary being okay with your partner having different friends yeah absolutely like that's one of the things like man oh now I'm gonna get choked up Tristan has been with me since day one of this youtube thing that I've been doing and she's been fully supportive of what I do and my mission like she's going to school right now for social work and everything so she's you know really passionate about mental health as well but like she saw like my early struggles my early complaints my early whining like all of you small creators out there like you know um and she was there to help me keep my head on straight she's there to keep me in check you know keep my ego in check and all of those things but she supported me this entire time and I wouldn't be where I am with this channel reaching out to all of you without her support but also Tristan went back to school this last year she started this last fall and I was there to support her and encourage her you know their stresses with going back to school and all of that you know whatever but I I feel I feel that I did a pretty good job supporting her in that as well and then like knowing your partner likes you like I think she likes me honesty and responsibility not making excuses for your partners or for your actions admitting when you are wrong keeping your word not canceling plans so yeah yeah absolutely like this one this one's huge like we we have a good relationship like she calls me out on my crap now there are times when I'm having like a rough day or whatever like because I love when people call me out of my crap I need people to call me out of my crap but sometimes it's a really bad day I'm like listen I just I just need a minute but she has no problem calling me out on that and that's what's funny too because sometimes like Tristan will defend me in my youtube comments or whatever and people like oh that's just his girlfriend like yo trust me if I was screwing up the first person I would hear it from was Tristan you guys have no idea how many videos I have not made because Tristan was the logical one in the situation and explained to me that that would be a bad idea right and like admitting when you're wrong that's something I absolutely love about her like this this sounds crazy but any of you who have been in abusive relationships like I was in a lot of emotionally abusive relationships and things like that and an ongoing theme with all of my previous girlfriends was that no matter how awful they were to me I like I could never expect an apology I could never expect them to admit they're wrong or anything like that and Tristan and I have barely been in any fight since we've dated over the last two years I think a lot of it is because of all the other work we're putting in but anyways on the few occasions when we've had like you know get upset or whatever like she actually apologizes and I I do the same and it feels really really good because I've been in relationships where I'm the one who's always apologizing and you know and all of that and I'm meeting being made to feel like everything I'm doing is wrong and all that so like it's nice to have somebody there where if something does you know escalate like we could both say yo I'm sorry I was worked up and you know all that so anyways this wasn't really a test but like this is the equality wheel and I think that's one of the reasons why we have such a healthy relationship and things have been going so amazing for the last two years that's one of the reasons why we moved in together and it wasn't this massive change because we respect each other and you know we have this like equality going on and you know we admit when we're wrong and all that so Tristan I love you girl you know that and yeah we're gonna do some cool stuff today so I hope all of you are having a happy Valentine's Day if you're single if you're alone on Valentine's Day ain't no thing baby that's another thing by the way both me and Tristan and myself we stayed single for a long time before we met each other all right because we were waiting for the right person okay most of you out there who are single don't be bummed out that typically just means that you got standards and that's awesome if you're lonely get a cat or come hang out in the rewired soul um facebook group or discord server a ton of sore port in there all right even though you're feeling lonely you are never alone all right but anyways that's all I got for this video if you like this video please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell and a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon you are all amazing and if you would like to sign up and be a patron uh get involved in our q and a this month click or tap right there thanks so much for watching i'll see you next time