 Craft presents The Great Gilder Sleeve. These company makers of Farkay Margin and a complete line of famous quality food products presents Harold Perry as The Great Gilder Sleeve. Craft brings you The Great Gilder Sleeve every week at this time. Written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. The Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. For between meal lunching, for quick company treats, for all sorts of delightful menu surprises, serve Fabstet, the delicious golden cheese food that's so good in a hundred appetizing ways. Fabstet spreads easily so you can whip up a marvelous tray of sandwiches in less time than it takes to set out a hand of bridge. Fabstet slices neatly when chilled, and that's a grand way to serve it with fruit salad or apple pie. And for main dish treats, Fabstet blends ever so smoothly and attempting Welsh rabbits, light fluffy omelettes and cheese-flavored macaroni egg and chicken dishes. They're also wonderfully satisfying when you add Fabstet's mellow cheddar cheese flavor. Remember, Fabstet is a fine energy food, wholesome and nourishing. So look for Fabstet in the familiar round flat package, and always buy Fabstet when you can. Tomorrow treat the whole family to Fabstet. Now let's join our friend The Great Gilder Sleeve, who is still suffering the pangs of conscience for his momentary laughs into the arms of Leela Ransom a few days ago. He's also suffering because Eve Goodwin hasn't spoken to him since he confessed his slip. We find him now at home trying to gather courage to telephone her. Let's see. I could just pretend there's nothing wrong at all. Pretend the whole thing was a bad dream. Well, Eve, I can say, how have you been? Or have you been keeping yourself? No good. Maybe I could ask her some kind of a question about my campaign. Ask her how to get the women's vote. Oh, no, that wouldn't do. Maybe if I... Don't be ridiculous, Leroy. This costume is just rye. I don't have to wear it. Who'll make me? Leroy, what is all this margarine? Leroy! What is this? Leroy has to take part in a maypole dance at Mayor Trawilliger's picnic, and he just... Just a minute. Let's get one thing straight around here. It's not Mayor Trawilliger's picnic. It's the annual outing of Summerfield City employees. The city pays for it. The invitation says that the mayor is paying for the ice cream. The city pays the mayor. What's this about a maypole dance? The school kids have to do it. Some idea of Miss Goodwin. If it's Miss Goodwin's idea, it's all right. I want you to cooperate a hundred percent, Leroy, at least. A maypole dance? That's kid stuff, hunk. It's not kid stuff at all. A few hundred years ago, the maypole dance was a universal custom. The peasants used to dance around the maypole every spring. Grown-up peasants, too. Well, I ain't a peasant. We needn't go into that. Miss Goodwin's putting on a maypole dance. You'll take part, Leroy, just like the rest of the children. Oh, I wouldn't mind that so much, but I got a special part. Oh? What is it? I have to present the crown to the Queen of the May. They made me want me to wear this little old fort, Leroy, shooting to walk up there with a crown on a pillow. And then I have to kneel down and present it to the Queen of the May. Well, I think that's a very... And who do you suppose is Queen of the Williger's old picnic? It's not To Williger's picnic, and you'll go. And by George, you'll wear that costume. But this is old. It's not as good as new. You never worn it. And today you will. Now go upstairs and put it on. Oh, for God's sake, I got lunch for the mayor's picnic. You want hard-boiled eggs? Ye gods, Bertie, this picnic is not the personal property of Mayor To Williger. The city is paying for an outing for its employees. Yes, sir. You want hard-boiled eggs? I'm not going. Give the children whatever you have. Oh, Uncle Lord, I think you ought to go. And watch To Williger swelling around as if he owned the park? No, thank you. I'll pick some fried chicken. And some nice cucumber sandwiches. Little mayonnaise on them, Bertie? Just a touch. Then I could put in some of them little baby tomatoes. Delicious. I thought I might just whip up a quick devil's food cake, Mr. Gilseed. But if you ain't going to the picnic, maybe I shouldn't bother. Well, the children will enjoy it. Besides, it never does any harm to have a cake around the house, Bertie. No, sir. Well, I better get with it. Well, I should think you'd want to go to the picnic, Uncle Lord. I should think you'd want to see Lee Roy's King of the May. I'd rather imagine it. I thought you'd be taking Miss Goodwin to the picnic. By George. Maybe I should, eh? I might call her up and ask her. Why not? I think I will. What's the matter? Marjorie, I wonder if you'd mind going out on the porch or something just for a minute. All right, Uncle. I'll leave you alone. Yes, great. Now... Excuse me, Mr. Gilseed, but have you... Bertie, I'm trying to telephone if you don't mind. Oh, pardon me. Must be something private. Like trying to phone from a cigar store. What if she says no? But if I don't call her, how can she say yes? I don't know how I get into these things. Oh, is this a costume? Oh, for heaven's sake, I'm trying to telephone, Lee Roy. Go ahead. Certainly not. Well, she seems to be heading this way. Oh, my goodness. Uncle, what's the matter? Nothing. Is she coming here, Lee Roy? How do I know? Where is she? Coming up the front walk. Tell her I'm out, Lee Roy. You want me to tell a lie, would you, Uncle? You won't be telling any lie, my boy. Tell her I'm out. You don't open up. Just dropped in. No, I'm avoiding a little visit. What's that to say? A little difficulty at home, P.V. I came down here to avoid it. All right. At times when Mrs. P.V. and I have our little fallings on, she says it is, and I say it isn't. She says it is, and I say it isn't. And she says it is. And you say it isn't. That's right. It goes on like that, and by and by she gets impatient. And she says to me, Richard, you're a stubborn old fool. But I fix her. Oh? How? I just say to her, well, now I wouldn't say that. Then I go take a walk. P.V., you're right. You're a stubborn old fool. Well, now I... Oh, you're joshing, Mr. Yellowstone. But you know what? It works. It's the only way to handle them. When the wife and I have one of our little cussles, I know just as sure as I walk out that door, if I just hold out long enough, she'll give in. Well, that's a good system. It's only one trouble. What's that? I never can seem to hold out long enough. Well, you're no different from the rest of us. Where? Oh, excuse me, Mr. Yellowstone. Yeah? If you don't mind my asking, who was the party you came down here to avoid? I'm not mentioning the lady's name, P.V. I'm withholding that information as a gentleman should. And I only ask because I'm afraid I see her coming in the shop now. Miss Goodwin. Miss Goodwin? I'm not avoiding her? Or am I? Well, anyway, I guess I'm trapped. Good morning, Doc Morton. Long time, no see. Good morning, Mr. P.V. Good morning, Miss Goodwin. Nice day. Yes, it is. I'd like a bottle... She was a little foggy this morning, though, but about 9.30 the sun broke through, so it turned out nice after all. I'd like a bottle of cologne, Mr. P.V., if you have it. Cologne? No, there. I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you, Miss Goodwin. Cologne is very hard to get these days. Cologne is very hard to get, yeah. I put in an order back about Christmas time, but all they were able to send me was a grocery razor blades, which I, of course, was glad to get, but it wasn't quite... Like that all over? I heard of a fellow in the hardware business who... who... who... excuse me. Have you anything else, Mr. P.V., any toilet water? Oh, yes, I have. Let's get my glasses on here. Yeah, I have two here. Now, this one is called Palomar de Mour, same as the perfume. It has a very nice smell. Oh, that's very nice. I know that one. I used to buy that for... Oh, it's very nice. I think perhaps I'd prefer the other one. What's that? Yeah, she'd probably prefer the other one, P.V. Let's have a look at that. Well, let's see. This one is called Moment of Passion. May I smell it? Yeah, let her smell it, P.V. Sure you may. I can get the stopper off me. Let's take a little sometime. Here, I'm strong. Let me do it, P.V. I got it. There you are, Mr. Goodwin. Oh, that is nice. Care to smell it, Mr. Goodwin? Oh, no, no. Whatever's all right with Eve is all right with me. A lot of the ladies seem to like this one. I think I'll take it. How much is that? That'll be... Let's see. It shouldn't be on the bottom here. $1.75 and 20% tax, $2.10. It's all paid for, Eve. Here you are, P.V. Oh, no, please. I don't want you to. Here, Mr. P.V. It's all paid for. But I couldn't think of having you. It's no use, Eve. Keep it money. Black Morton, if you don't mind. Well, okay. Gosh. $2.10 and five is $2.15, $2.25, $2.50 and $50. It's $3. Thank you. Here's your parcel. Thank you. Goodbye, Mr. P.V. Goodbye. Oh, Eve, just a minute. Yes. I mean, speaking of the weather, Eve, I mean, are you going to the picnic today, Eve? I expect to, yes. Some of the children from the school are giving a little performance. Yeah, I know. Leroy, he can hardly wait. Are you going with anybody in particular? I'm going with a group of the teachers. Oh. Well, perhaps I'll see you around. Perhaps. Goodbye, Mr. P.V. Goodbye. Goodbye, Eve. See you around. Okay. Little trouble there, Mr. Gillespie. What do you think? Well, so it goes. Are you going to the mayor's picnic? I don't know. The whole thing is just a political scheme to get votes anyway. And she won't go with me. Well, a lot of things can happen at a picnic. I went to a picnic once. That's when I was a young fellow. I was working for a wholesale drug firm at the time. Dunninger and Holtz it was. Well, sir, I went to this picnic. And who do you suppose I met there? Your future wife. Somebody told you. You did. Oh, did I? Well, it's a fact. That's the way I matter. Now, who knows if you go to this picnic today? I've already met my future wife, P.V. Only she won't speak to me. For all I know, she won't be my wife either. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. Oh, no. You just saw her, didn't you? Saw the way she treated me. Yes, I did. As if I were a skunk. Well, she wasn't very neighborly. What I always say is, actions speak louder than words. Oh, what do you mean? Let me ask you something, Mr. Gallister. Has she given you back your ring? I know. No, she hasn't. What are you worrying about then? She'll come around. P.V. by George. Maybe I will go to that picnic. I wouldn't if I were you. After all, what's a picnic without a skunk? Greg Gilderslee will be with us again in just a few seconds. Ready? Set? Let's go, ladies, for more of those tempting ways to serve Pabstet, the delicious golden cheese food of a hundred uses. First course, cream soup. Just before serving, add a generous amount of Pabstet, cut into small cubes, and watch that cream soup hit a new high in appetizing goodness. Next, a main dish. And our suggestion is eggs golden sauce, hard-cooked eggs drenched with the mellow cheddar cheese goodness of Pabstet. Now, a grand salad. Press two halves of a pair together with a tasty center filling of Pabstet, and serve with lettuce and mayonnaise. And for dessert, apple pie served with Pabstet wedges. There you have it, menu magic from soup to dessert with Pabstet. And you'll find dozens of other exciting ways to surprise your family with this nourishing, wholesome cheese food. So, tomorrow, look for, ask for, and buy Pabstet. Remember the name, Pabstet. Now, back to Summerfield in the Great Gilder Sleeve. The city employee's picnic is well underway, with games for the children, tests of strength and skill for the gentlemen, and special events for the ladies, all to the strains of the sanitation department band. Just a minute, please. Oh, Tawilaker's going to talk some more. When you've finished your lunches, you'll find ice cream is being served at that table under the tree there. All absolutely free with the compliments of your old friend, Tawilaker. Oh, that's me. The big ham. Eat hearty, folks. Yeah, sure, eat hearty, folks, we'll all come out of your taxes. Should we have lunch? You better grab some places. Nah, Leroy, you'll not grab anything. I wonder if Miss Goodwin's around. Oh, let's invite her to have lunch for that. Yeah. Oh, I see. Boy, that's no way. Well, here she... I'll tell you what you do, children. And don't you go over and eat at that table over there where all the children are. Leave Miss Goodwin and me. Boy, look, I want to eat with Miss Goodwin. Do as I tell you, Leroy. Take your lunch and go over there. That's a nice place right at the end of the table. Well, Throckmorton, I don't think you ought to send them off. Run along, Leroy. You too, Marjorie. Look, I'm not a child. Then you're old enough to realize that I have things to say to Miss Goodwin. Now will you run along? Well, put it that way. I don't know that I have anything to say to you, Throckmorton. I came over because Leroy asked me. Leave, please. You don't have to say anything. Just sit here and share my lunch with me. Really, I'm not hungry, or I'd have brought my own lunch. Oh, come on, Eve, I've got plenty. I've got loads here, you see, fried chicken. Here are two drumsticks. One for you and one for me. Boom. Judge Hooker, how you startled me? Won't you join us, Judge? Yes, yes. Thank you. I'd be delighted. But I seem to have mislead my lunch. I can't imagine. Oh, Throckmorton has lots of lunch. Fuller, full of lunch. Do sit down. Throckmorton would be only too glad to have you share his lunch. Wouldn't you, Throckmorton? Sure, old goat. In that case, I'll be only too glad to accept the invitation. Well, this is cozy, isn't it, Gilly? Three's a crowd, Judge. Oh, now don't say that. Have a drumstick, Judge. Oh, thank you. I seem to be a little hungry today for some reason. You're always hungry. Well, I want to tell you that's the finest fried chicken I've ever put in my mouth. Wipe your chin. Throckmorton, a drumstick for you? No, thanks. What? I'm not hungry. Oh, come now. That's nonsense. There's all this chicken here. Oh, I can't try it, Gilly. It's marvelous. Thank you, Judge. That's very generous of you. But I seem to have lost my appetite. Oh, well... But you're missing something. Finest fried chicken I ever tasted. I'm glad now that couldn't find my lunch. You never had a lunch, and you know it. You old goat, why don't you eat the paper plate, too? Oh, here's Mayor Tawiliger. Well, what does he want? Well, well, well, this is a merry little group. Miss Goodwin. How do you do? Judge. Have some fried chicken. No, no, thank you. Ah, they're gilded asleep. I'm going to have to ask you gentlemen if I can borrow this lady for a little while. What? We're having a pie-eating contest after lunch. I'm going to require some assistance from the fair section judging it, and if Miss Goodwin here will do me the honor... I'd be delighted. Splendid. Oh, but to finish your lunch first. I've finished, thank you. Oh, let me assist you to your feet then. But Eve, you haven't eaten a thing. Eve, you're not going. Sorry, gilded sleep, but duty calls. You said yourself, Throckmorton. Three's a crowd. So I'll leave you two together. Excuse me. This way to the arena. Mayor Gilly. And I wind up with you. Like the whole hands, Gildy. Oh, shut up. I've got a good mind to go home, but I'm not going to. I'll show her. And I'll show him, too. I'll show people who's the best man around here. I'm going to enter that pie-eating contest, and I'm going to win it. You do that, Gildy. You just do that. I'm going to. You just show her. You bet I will. You get into that contest and prove to her that there isn't a man in Summerfield who can make a bigger pig of himself than you can. Oh! Oh! Your attention for a moment, please. Yeah, what'd I tell you, Judge? He's going to make another speech. I'd just keep your shirt on, Gildy. All you can do is be good sport. Ladies and gentlemen of Summerfield, I only hope you've all had as pleasant a time so far as I've had myself. I know some of you have had a good time. There's a certain politician, for instance, who enjoyed winning the pie-eating contest. Why you... Stop! I won't mention his name because he's my political opponent. But I can tell you he's a little on the stealth side. I wouldn't say he's exactly fat, but I understand one time he had the mumps for two weeks before they found it out. Be a good sport, Gildy. Laugh! We're not going to have any speeches today, folks. This is just a social occasion. At the same time, if I may take a moment, I would like to call your attention to one of two facts about the political situation at this time. Now, in the year 1776, what was Summerfield? 1776. In the year 1776, Summerfield was just a tiny village. What? In that tiny village were all the seeds of the Summerfield that was to grow into the great and prosperous city of today. This could go on for days. The glorious tradition of Summerfield began to grow and expand. In the year 1812, what do we find? This isn't a speech. It's a filibuster judge. The year 1812 saw the establishment of Summerfield's first manufacturing concern. That concern, my friends, was the Summerfield ironworks, whose sleds and washboards have since made the name of our city famous throughout the country. Is he going to tell about every business in town? We come to the year 1813. And what do we find? We're of 1813. We've all heard your reputation as a singer, Mr. Gildersleeve. Would you like to croon something for our friends? Well, I'm no professional. So I've heard. Ladies and gentlemen, I understand that as a singer, Mr. Gildersleeve is a hauling success. He'll light us with a ditty assisted by the street cleaning department. You're trying to put me on the spot, too, Williger. We'll sing and get off of it. Why, George, I'll... Well, Mr. Leader, do the fellas know Shine on Harvest Moon? We can try it, Commissioner. Can you see only? Oh, fine. Harvest Moon, fellas, and do the best you can. One, two... Excuse me, Mr. Gildersleeve. Now, ladies and gentlemen, if I may resume... We want a song. I'll do my best, folks. Go ahead and play something, Mr. Leader. If I know it, I'll join in. How about without a song? Oh, yeah, that's very good. Great. Don't you wish I would? If I may continue from the point at which I was interrupted, friend. We've sung eight songs already. I'm afraid his voice is tired. Are you kidding? I'm as fresh as a daisy, folks. How about a song just for the ladies? Your wish is my very command. Mr. Leader. Oh, sure. We know that one. Number 18, boys. There's just a game, but two is nothing. Bob is never sure. I've seen just as long as there's a demand for this stuff. You've been all night for mine. Well, you can't stop. Oh, yes I can. Quiet! Quiet! You're there, Leader. Yes, Your Honor. Take that bunch of straight cleaners home. Or you'll all lose your brooms in the morning. He certainly was, Marjorie. Don't you hear the way that crowd cheered? Well, I think he could run for president. Yeah, I'll go. I'd walk isn't wide enough for all of us, my dear. Why don't you and Leroy just walk ahead, huh? Well, on Leroy. Give him a break. How much is the rent for me? Leroy. Well, shall we start home, Thracmorton? Oh, if you'd like. I was very proud of you this afternoon, Thracmorton. Oh, that's all? Yes. I thought you handled a difficult situation very well. Hmm, nothing much. It could have been very embarrassing. You know, when Tawilaga got you up there to sing, he was trying to make you ridiculous. Ah, that was his mistake. I think he found that out. Thracmorton. Yes? Nothing. Yeah. What's the use of bluffing? I can't be mad at you. Well, I can't stay mad at you. When you sing the way you did just now, I don't know if something happens to me. Oh, well, that's because I was singing to you, Eve. Just you. Were you? You think I could sing that way to anybody else? Oh, darling, it's been so long. Eve. George, that's pretty nice. Listen to this, Marjorie. What is it? It's a letter from Maddie Parsons. She's Frank Parsons' wife. You know, the fellow that reads the meters for us? Oh, yes. What's she writing you about? Well, she just wanted to thank me for keeping him on the payroll those weeks when he was out sick. You remember? But listen to this, my dear. She says, by the way, Mr. Gillersleeve, I want to tell you how thankful we both are that Frank went in on the payroll savings plan at the water department. We've always tried to save money, but with one thing and another, it always seemed to slip away somehow. But now we've laid away a war bond every month for 17 months. It'll be a nice little nest egg. Luckily, we didn't have to cash in any of the bonds to pay for Frank's illness. But it was sure nice to know that the money was there in case we did need it. Well, is everybody down at the water department in on the payroll savings plan? Oh, smart ones are, my dear, because there isn't a better investment in this whole world or an easier way to save money. Think it over, folks. Good night. We'll see you next week for the further adventures of the Great Gillersleeve.