 And the day's guest to us, ha ha ha, what is that? Oh, Stevie, Stevie Brown. And the day's guest, we've got a legendary Gary Fox. Should I be saying that name? No, but Stevie Brown, my name is, I'm new identity. So, you've been saying to me how, why have you got this identity? You know why I've got this identity. Fuck it, Ferris blocked me. Shite myself. Tights address, I've got my veins. My veins have all got new haircut. It's the same fucking candy man, innit? I've got Paul on the podcast next month as well. I've seen that, that's going to be realised I was fucking blocked. Can you shite myself? I'll be wearing that stuff. Every time I need a draw, I drive by, I'm like that. Why did they pack a windy seat? Good times, innit? Listen, mate, it's an absolute pleasure to have you back home. You're my first guest, I have one twice on the show. So, mate, the first time... I need you to have my heat service. The first time I had you on February, March, six months ago, the crib was just kicking off. Same as mine. I think you had 5,000 followers on Facebook. Now you're nearly hitting 100. You're selling at gigs, you're selling at 900,000 tickets in over a minute, under two minutes, and you've done a 1,000 seat and a 1,000 seat on the SCCC, back to back. First of all, mate, I just want to congratulate you because you're not an amazing guy. He's a plonker, but for what you're achieving and everything, mate, I take my hat off because anybody deserves it. So, how's your experience been, mate? Honestly, I feel like I'm in a dream because obviously it's my full-time job now, so I just cut about a twin holiday. Eating fucking sushi and drinking water with cucumber in it. Running lids. I feel like I've won so... Look down your nose, everybody. It's the scum of the earth. I'm a literature fan. It's been amazing, mate, and as you know, we've done this podcast after the record, obviously, you know, that my anxiety was terrible at the time. I mean, it was the best to come for that to where I'm now. I'm still anxious, you know what I mean, but to have the numbers and the feeders is fucking phenomenal because it was overnight. It wasn't a gradual build-up. I got a live video, it was a bit mad, and then... But you say that, but the grind for the last two, three years and then your videos, you never gave up and that's for anybody listening or watching. It's about keep going. No matter what, how do you... It's about the depression where you're in your bed. Everybody lies under their covers, greeking at one point in their fucking life, but it's either staining or doing something about it to go on, so you've constantly... You've always put your videos out, no matter if it had 10 views, 100,000 views, you've constantly done it, you've constantly chipped away, and the results are speaking for themselves. It's just been consistent in it. And a lot of people would say to me as well, like, oh, enjoy your videos as you'll see on the comments. Your videos made my day better and stuff, and that was the idea behind it. Just to give people a wee laugh for nothing, you know what I mean? Because if you like coming to see me, you need to pay 15, 16 quid a ticket. But just get... Some people can't even go to gigs because they've got anxiety or just because they can't afford it. So my wee live videos and my Instagram videos, just a wee free bit to just say, you know, cheer up, man. It's brilliant, mate, how far you've came in the six months. It's unbelievable, because we started this journey last year. If anybody's no watch the second episode, you'll get your boss kicked. But me and Gary met in Vernes when I was trying to do the comedy, but I'd fell away from it. Yeah, first gig. It wasn't for me. Remember the first scene, and I was like, who the fucks this? This guy, he's brilliant white teeth, he's got good looks at the top of the club. You're all fat and depressed. And you were just sitting buzzing in positive, but you turned it one of my best pals. For the last 18 months, man, our journey's been unbelievable. We've achieved the two scheme boys coming for a background of crime, whether it's drink, drugs, gambling, shagging, show people that you can change. And I put a post on there, I don't know if you see it on social media, about Glasgow Live, about I've done a homeless documentary on Glasgow Live. We had contacted them for January. I was going to go through it, but I'm not going to, I'm just going to tell you the facts. So we'd contacted Glasgow Live in January to say we've got a charity screening in January. If you'd like to come along, we've had a few screenings allowing you to raise money towards homelessness for the charities who are in. The documentary is saving lives every day because if the homeless people never had these people, the body bodies lying at every corner. So I was expecting, look, at Glasgow Live, the documentary was based in Glasgow. Never heard from them, but yesterday some doubted them on Twitter. He says, why is Glasgow Live not done a story? I says, we've contacted them numerous occasions, but we've not heard from them. But the wee guy obviously emailed and says, look, I've got my reasons, can I phone you? I say, look, I want to hear this. And his reasons why Glasgow Live never had done a story about the homeless documentary was because I've got a past. I've been in the jail. I've done fucked up shit, of course. Because I was seeing Keri Catone was one of them. That's valid, that point of view. Because you shagged up. Because I've had gangsters in Ponstar. Ponstar's one of my favourites. That's the first time I've ever watched a Ponstar with my wife. That's what he says. The banter was great. So for them to use that as excuses for me, kind of pissed his ass off. Kind of got my back up. It doesn't matter, people's past. If you're homeless, you don't care about somebody's past. Homeless people get convictions. Everybody's got past. Whatever it is, do you know what I mean? So kind of pissed his off and that's where I kind of went off in one. Literally, I don't need your help. I don't need anybody. We've had support fair daily record this time. It wasn't about that, it was about the way he came across and gave me all these reasons why he didn't support homelessness as if he was better than that, as if he doesn't fucking care. But it doesn't matter, it's not about me. It was about to create the awareness to help the people that are on the street. And my document is to create awareness for any people to see it, to help and for people to go wait a minute and change their perspective the way they see people like sleep on the streets because it can happen to anybody and that's why I got my back up and I was fucking raging. Obviously Glasgow Live is, you know when it's like me and you put something on and there's always people who'll find a problem and I think everybody's playing it safely. Even with me when I put jokes on, people get offended that jokes are only offensive and I'm just like fucking hell you need to I know I was going to buy me a bill but the fact that I started losing my nut and the fact that you've got loads of attention for it anyway. I know but that's the only point. You kind of want your city back you. You kind of want people to back it and the fact that passing off even Mary's well don't sit and comment me and judge me, you don't know me you might have read shit in the papers that's fine but don't judge a book by its cover, people can change and we're loving proofing that so So you Paul Ferris you're a great example of a man that you've reformed your life and I'm proud of you I'm honest I've got like a five books I'll get them saved I'll get them saved for you next month So return to me I want to know about it, talk to me about it in the last six months because everybody's speaking your name in Scotland when I spoke to you six months ago you were one of the rising stars but now you're one of the biggest in Scotland in the comedy circuit everybody's speaking to you, speaking about you what about your tickets and to sell out the SECC and just over a minute it's phenomenal. See when they gave my agent David at DH Promotions when he said to us he's like oh because I've done the stand obviously and a couple of the Glasgow gigs and he's like why don't we try and do the SECC and I'm like we'll never follow the SECC but obviously this boy walks the cafe with Ryan Moulton-Jones, James Acaster, he knows we'll be looking at traffic and how things are going he's like let's add the SECC and we'll see what happens so obviously he spoke around and I was like we'll try it as you do you'd be the same it's like when you buy a when you get married or something you get nerves and you're rattled so on the day the tickets went and said at 10 o'clock I plugged it a few days before it and on the day at 10 o'clock I was like to actually I'm going to turn my phone off because what a day is I sit and watch like a hawk to see you so if I looked at fucking 11 o'clock it was two tickets sold I've been anxious right for the last three weeks so at 10 o'clock I was like to actually I'm going to turn my phone off, made a bit of breakfast but I didn't turn my phone off at this point and I'm making breakfast and I'm like fuck it was about four minutes past and I ran back to my phone to turn it off so I needed to because people start phoning you can I get three tickets, family and pals you haven't seen for years you're not going to get three tickets and they give a fuck about me you know what I mean now they want a free ticket so I was back to my phone after making breakfast to turn it off and it was four minutes past and I had five missed calls for David and two for SEC so I phoned David back and I phoned the bank and I was like alright mate I said what's the score here he said give it a gig sold it and I was like make sure to fuck up he says it's sold at 70 seconds do you want to add a second show and that's what happened I told it the first show the second show took a bit longer it was like four and a half hours to sell it and that and the second show I was an absolute wreck you know what I mean because I was actually watching it I was in the hospital my way and I'm like try to watch it and obviously we can sit behind it that's 2,000 people in five hours mate that is unbelievable a boy for spring burn do you know what I mean how's the anxiety been just the same mate I felt it was worse just the same there's no chance that's what I'm saying see when you get goals I felt it was worse you know what I mean see when you hit your goals nothing changes it's just the feel good factor to go I've achieved something but then that disappears after a day or two after your gig you've got all that attention you've got all that people want to piss you off for a gig I'm an anxious wreck right up to get that mic panic attacks a lot of running away but see after it two days I'm absolutely genuine so it's like my worst days take my best days mate four days before the after mental mate is that a roller coaster that's nuts innit but that's what I'm saying so when you've got goals your life's hard so if you don't they fuck all your life becomes hard but if you're striving to beat yourself and striving towards something then once you get the hard things your life becomes kind of easier as well but it's trying to get I keep fucking saying it but when you hit that progression and you hit that high it's to go again and raise it because when you achieve something right with the other day next how do I go again I know my fat guy mate but this is my kind of when they call me before this I've been preparing to do the race now I'm on the track I'm ahead at the first hundred meters and I've just got to keep people keep saying are you the next bridges or the next boil because I set my own standards they're amazing comedians but I don't want to be anything like them I don't mind anything you know what I mean so it's just keeping that momentum around the track ahead everybody because as soon as you think you've made it you've only took two steps back it's about right with the other day next they make to go up every day and have their dedication they keep throwing out videos to keep setting goals to keep setting like I say they throw in a half hour's anxiety and that but it's the end product to feel as if you're doing something in your life you're achieving something which is 97% or 98% of the world are they and no value in their wealth because they're sitting they're just accepting do you know what I mean when we sat in a show six months ago I was getting 50 views I think I had 17 subscribers when you came on an episode do you know what I mean it's all about progression raising that bar and believing that you can do something in life believing that you can change I'm 34 do you know what I mean it's never too late for anybody yeah it's for even people in their 60s their 70s if you've got goals man get up early and I'll speak to Gordon Gary Varene with us Gary Varene Chuck Gary V you listen to these podcasts and guys they just motivate you whatever you're putting in your mind it's gonna rewire it see when I started my comedy journey you talk about I'm lucky because Glasgow Live will give me articles of the times because I'm just kind of a comedian and I'm lucky I've got them but I remember my first three years in comedy it always felt like I had to get a paper to write a story for me to move forward and then one day I just went do you know what I just needed it myself because a lot of comedians are in the premises that they're waiting for an agent to come and I was selling out guys before my agent arrived he's a booker he's not an agent what he does now is he books my bigger gigs because he's got a cash flow the SEC is a couple of thousands to hire that and I've never got that kind of money but I remember saying after two or three years fuck it I just need to get my head down I need to make sure that in my comedies I've said before my number one priority is mordians I need to give him a good show number two I need to get him a good venue but the drinks are decent sometimes like the SEC I have to go there because of the numbers now but that's fine I'll take nine I don't think anyone would take so many bags of booze at the SEC nobody takes any I'm still keeping the wee gigs that I like because I done killing the palace theater and that was that was my first big sellout gig that was £5.50, £6.00 and CT came out CT the week before that I was doing a hundred seat of pub so I came for that gig where somebody at the back echoes me I just get torn and I'm like I'm really going down fucking beatle just I'm like way down for them I terrorise them and then you came out like the palace theater and I could hear them or buzzing I could hear like the chant my name and stuff and see when I came out and just seen about five six hundred people just two levels of people packed it was just fucking I ran off stage man I was going to shite myself I ran off my pulse and I get back on I must have done about fifty shites man I was farting dust how were you just before you went on I was rattled man I was watering away seeing that in my head my head's like you can't do this you're no capable of doing this cause there's a wee boy people always told me I wasn't good enough for just about it is it everybody gets that problem but it was just my wife is there man and see if she wasn't there man I was running that fuck you know what I mean but you need that positive she's a smart rock you know what I mean she's like come on you've worked hard go and get your bread now you fucking you've been an elven for two months I'm not in the back because sometimes I think we forget how fucking well we've came what we've done and what we're achieving you kind of forget because we're living it it doesn't feel any different it doesn't feel different but we know we're then different we know we're becoming better people we know the hardest thing is getting used to being a full time comedian for me cause I've always grafted cause obviously I've got five wins in a life so I couldn't adjust a lot of comics I sing when they're young they can just keep a job to provide for my family and then I would have to obviously my comedy is my hobby and I was going to gear it up because of that because I wasn't getting enough money and I wasn't getting enough time with my family then that's when I value myself and how much time I can give my wins and my wife how much I can continue to change to benefit them so the comedy's brilliant the money's going to be brilliant but when I gave myself a pat the back it's because I'm being a better dad I'm being a better person and that's the best way to look at it and as you know I've read the secret Tony Robbins books I've changed my whole life and that if you're getting brought up for a scheme you're getting conditioned to think the world's not good it's life's shitting go for the easy option there's no real option because there's only one end product and there's only going to be one end and that's disaster mate it's always going to set you up for failure but it's difficult if you're conditioned into believe that's a way to go and that's life rewind your brain and educate yourself to understand me then you're a dad as well you've got to set standards because your wins are all out top matter your wins are a reflection of you they follow your footsteps it doesn't matter what you teach them they follow your actions and actions speak louder than words and we can sit here and talk it's only fucking words but we're putting it into action all the backlash that we receive that's you, you're moving forward because people don't like that you're fucking made worse that's what I found hard was a lot of the comedians who turned their noses up to me because I've done so well and a lot of them have messaged me and say I've done Gary Proudy and that's nice but there's people that I've seen as pals who turned out to be one of my pals and it's madness but as I care about putting food on the table for my family and giving my audience a great show so if I can do two things I can't even have a fuck what's going on outside of all there's only people who are jealous because what happens is they're focusing on everybody else so focus on that guy and that's where the mentality is or you're the next Jimmy, Johnny Vegas or whatever when you say to yourself I go and say I like to be Lee Evans you might get to where Lee Evans go to but how do you take that to the next level I don't size myself up time's important, you've no got a lot of time 150 euros a week what do you do within 150 euros a week people have got to ask themselves the question you're utilising the earth to become a better person to value your worth people might say I work hard but are you working hard to build somebody else's dreams are you working for a boss are you doing it for yourself it's no easy to make changes it's no easy to have a commitment and rewire that brain to focus on something you want to do in your life it takes fucking guts and it takes a big bit of balls mate it's a heavy motion it's a lot of balls I'm going to give my D-max though the three hours are kind of on the same journey we speak to each other quite a lot it's no all that you see positive and happy man we have one moment where we go I'm done if you have a bad day then just make sure you go and have another two good after that do you know what I mean when's like these dates for the the SECC 24th of November two of them on the same day how do you know get a third one we're putting my audience a good show and now my anxiety is so bad I think I sat down and I thought right you can take that me money after I hired there wasn't a lot to be made or we can add a second show and we can make better money and have two good shows you know what I mean and then they was like let's add a third show and I'm like no because I want to give my audience a brilliant two shows but I've got a third show even I'm confident they would sell out I'm a dillow for next year if I can just wait to that and then have a built a big gig you know what I mean so quality getting audience a show where they're going to come back they're going to go to the big and the fat team is good you know what I mean how have you been dealing with anxiety the only thing I'm finding weird is people looking at me walking down the street Sunday talks to me it's brilliant because you know what I'm like I'm a fucking chatterbox you know what I mean like Sunday says hello I'm up here daffin for ten minutes I can't be fucked man get yourself in get them to fuck you know what I mean but it's when people walk behind just kind of go look at me or they stare through a windy or other talk you know it's weird man it's people are doing it bad just because I'm not used to getting this amount of attention like I got to the street when I walked down here today see people stop me for a picture that's brilliant because you're like fucking hell I'm valued a few people know my hierarchy you know what I mean good people care it's funny because obviously somebody talks to me I've got a head like a boulder so I've got everybody from my past right so somebody talks to me I don't know if they're in my pal or an enemy or a new person so I just go I'm alright mate how's your man what the fuck is wrong with my man I'm trying to work out if I know them through school I'm sorry he hasn't had some lovely women I'm sorry he's working like a guy from Nigeria it's a wonderful journey it's a great opportunity to have the finances where I can be a good da be a good comedian and obviously me and my wife are doing stuff in the community as well which is nice because they've put everything back that the community gave us to do in you know what I mean because I spoke about that last week we were at Chrissie's house which is Ann Rowan's suicide event which runs a 24 hour suicide centre in Wishaw she's phenomenal isn't she amazing mate and I can't even thank these people enough me, yourself, D-Max well like Chris Bungard or not I'm a big fighter mate two spooky women next to me two spiritualists who talk to ghosts did you see my hat you were away I was sitting and obviously I've talked to Dean Chris Bungard and the spiritualist woman they're next to me and she's chatting to me like I was like do you need people's hoards on it she went no we talked to Dean and I was like you talked to Dean people I was like listen pal I'm a shit bag I'm scared that horror film I don't want to know it you're going to die in six days and I'm like I don't want to know it and she went there and she went there's somebody behind you and I'm like here pal I've told you right none of this spooky shit I'm like there's somebody behind you and I turned around and she was like I thought you were a ghost that was mad I liked how you sat to see it up I know fuck that man it was good to get in behave but for us mate even though we come across confidence in that even got these events you still get anxiety we still get that but these people at these events for anybody in the struggle I know I'm going to just put it out Andy McClaren's running every Wednesday in Chris's house on a Wednesday night so for anybody in the gear I'll need somebody to talk to her where it's gambling the drink whatever Wednesday night Andy McClaren's doing massive things who's the big positive guy we were talking to where there's Jav oh Jad, Jad Neil Jad's been on the show and that's another guy who's doing massive things where's we single guy oh Nicholas McDonald that's what I'm saying last year man it was on my phone but it was just a fucking dial about Charlie Green and now I've got John Hartz saying Paul Ferris yourself Nicholas McDonald Paul Ferris is a great guy that's what I'm saying I was looking through my phone but last year it was that Paul Starrs? Paul Starrs? I tell you who, you've not got a bit of Glasgow life I've got to do that I was disappointed so how was the Paul Starrs year a good laugh? brilliant, she's brilliant man but like I say people judge don't they people perceive it's such a good thing you're doing because you get those vans obviously like when you had Parmenon like me and my wife watched that too as we're fucking breaking a heart that woman's just an incredible woman you know what I mean so you go through vans but it's like sad that you got Jad who's positive then you've got obviously the crime guys who are fucking interesting they're all different obviously mixed up with us medium or because they can't ask the questions that I'm asking I'm an open booker, I don't give a fuck I ain't lying doing a bender off on no count and that's just the way it is I'm doing nothing right, I'm just trying to create a better life for me I'm not saying I'm a saint, I'm a fucking monk I make mistakes every day, there's things I do and I go shit I shouldn't have done that probably birds I'm chatting up that I know I just want to probably pump I'm going to be honest as soon as I walk into a place it's like it's his who can get it you know what I mean, there's things I probably then I go right maybe I shouldn't have think that I still shout at the wanes, there's things I do that I'm no proud of but I do not throw my past into my face to know move on way to help create homelessness or help promote what we've achieved and help the charge in it so back to Glasgow Live, let's say that's the last I've speaking with them but I was pissed off about it and let's say I move on to it I was pissed off you know what I'm saying I know that when somebody throws fucking bizarre because I was coming here to meet you and it was weird because obviously even the homeless are getting people must be saying or because it changed my perception I see a homeless guy and I'll just say hello I might not be getting money every day I've not got a lot of money to know but I'll be like alright how you getting on before I became scared or their junkies and alki's I'll keep away from him because in the scheme you keep away from the junkies and alki's you know what I mean but when I watched your video and I sat with Dean Maxwell and what was that pen you in the calton it looked, it looked, it looked I sat and break my fucking heart you know what I mean I was in the street for seven days I don't want a pat on the back I'm already Dean Fingis, the homelessness is different, I stayed in the street people who were in that documentary were breaking their heart to me every night people who have died have been in it I've seen a wee guy doing a lane deed, 19 alone that breaks my heart so when somebody is not going to try and back it it's going to upset me I'm going to get my back up so it doesn't matter what the fuck past you've got it doesn't matter what you've been involved in it's not any day with that, it's about the homelessness situation in Breesga we're all human beings, we're all connected we need a helping hand man but the vision and the plans I've got and the people who's coming to my life this year to create the change it's needed I say I don't need anybody, I never have I've seen it in Saturday like everybody's kind of buzzing about you even like Susan McGuire all the people were like fucking James that was amazing and heart felt stuff and I think even what you've done because even though Glasgow Eye have been shared that everybody else has and everybody's talked about it, so imagine how many people you've impacted and now you'll see a homeless person and go up and say to them have a nice day here, how are you today you're right, it's like taking a coffee that's what your goal is and that's what you've done because you've changed me mate and it changed me at all because I don't know if he's thinking I'm doing that for the wrong reasons I'm doing it for Marines but I've always said every night a day is for me so if I'm creating love to create the homeless it's me, it feels good it's rewarding for me to change other people's lives I've changed my life, all the fucked up shit that I've done so do not throw fucking stones at me and tell me what I've done in my past when I'm trying to rectify it and move on do you know what I mean, if you're lying in the streets mate and if you're homeless man that is a horrible fucking place to be in I've lived it mate and people are walking by you I've seen them greeting do you know what I mean, everybody's got a story everybody's got a life and everybody's still got hope exactly and the people who are in the documentary have changed their lives after 32 years they've been on this map, people can change do you know what I mean? I'm not kissing your ass here mate but that's what I like about Ferris is that even though he's had such a bad past and maybe he's seen as a bad person he flipped his life around he doesn't get involved in that he makes books aye and fucking he probably does honours behind the scenes that nobody talks about for charity people don't need to help you know what I mean that's what I'm saying mate, there's not a bit promoting it you'll never get a piece of that stigma I'm just calling this guy Paul Ferris even though he's changed his life probably doesn't get it and bad maybe I used to do it back in the days but he's doing good and I don't need to care about people just care about the bad stuff you done people don't care about your feelings they're well-being they're just thinking about themselves to get stories out there and create bullshit basically do you know what I mean? there's a lot of good people in the media I've got pals for the sun at the time I'm going to out you I don't think you need to worry about it mate you've done amazing it's pointless anyway you're like me bit we've spoken best in the last podcast if I've got a video that's got 50,000 to 60,000 views everybody's like you're fucking amazing big man you're the best things, it's fucking conical from my name out there and then Burswank that guy's a fat ugly wank I want to get my scrunchie in I can't take negativity that's a ego I walk on every day but I'm a comedian, I'm in the public somebody's going to shout in the street I'm fucking shouting back in the days I'd have been like that he might be having a bad day or his bird must fancy me I don't know it's about accepting it it's about taking the chin but I wasn't accepting it because it's about homelessness I've seen people dying on these streets I've seen them greeting and I've promised them I would create change I would create awareness because people won't dare their documentaries they're there for a few years and then they leave and that's it done that never, I was there for seven days I gave up my Christmas I'd done that kicking Balini and obviously it was last year Christmas and the Ross Kepp video was in and Ross Kepp was like yeah I'm living in Balini see if he'd be staining in the jail and then I went in the jail and I was like where did Ross Kepp sleep I was in a hotel he came in here for him the documentary and fucked off, you know what I mean then he's tired but that's what these people do they go in the show, big show it was a great documentary but look at me, then change but you went on the street and you're there for seven days and it's not about me, it wasn't about the partner back it wasn't about that, it was to create awareness the documentary is to create awareness to get people to watch it and that's what's happening in those streets do you know what I mean, to actually live that I don't want the partner back I don't want people to promote it they need to have a thing they've got stories at 80 days and they work for bosses I get it but don't hit me with poor excuses that piss me off you say no I don't like it James and we've got other things at 80 days, just gave me a big list of excuses and I just got my back up I was like yeah we fucking weasel man don't tell me you don't know me it pissed us off because there's no scene what's actually going on, there's no scene in the effect it's having on people, there's no scene in the changes we've had thousands of messages that people now want to come forward to create change this is just a guy with a vision, it's want to create awareness to make the world a better place because if you're doing good in life, it makes you feel good and that's what it's done, do you know what I mean so like I said, I got my back up but it's an elephant where if they'd done a story anyway it wasn't a killer brother you're doing enough groundwork anyway I've got a big enough social media following for people to back it and keep going and it's only been out three weeks but the changes has already been unbelievable do you know what I mean I did not see a woman for a restaurant the restaurants have opened up now they're getting out free food for homelessness we've got letting agencies now getting out rooms the effect has been unbelievable let's say we do a lot of groundwork we get bags every other day where it's food clothes, we don't promote it we don't post it and say look we're done we're done already working the background but when it comes to the documentation to get it out there to create awareness I need to mirror people to speak about it to create the change because as soon as people watch it it doesn't just make you look at homeless people it makes you question your life and I say that all the time because we all live in luxury man we all love to moan and complain about the shittiest and stupidest things but really man it's a life really that bad it's amazing isn't it what you think about it there are two things you like to look inside when I was learning that I didn't see as you know I didn't see my two daughters I've seen my own nun again and I didn't see one at all and I remember that two years ago when I was changing myself changing my attitude, being a better husband never bad to Ashley and other than it was bad but I would do things that flopped my ass using social media things that were wrong that I shouldn't have done and see when I decided right she's an amazing wife I've got veins there that haven't seen me I need to fuck it up now I need to change myself and see now that I'm speaking to my two daughters nearly every day I'm involved in their lives got their dance classes you know what I mean going for fucking cheeseburgers whatever they were and then being a better husband two new veins I would rather be that guy than be a money hungry famous comedian see if I can do what I love in comedy and be a good husband and dammit that's what I want I don't need to make £10 million or be bridges I value my life I don't value my success my wife and veins happy I'll take it all day long but as long as I can remain humble and remain a good guy for a plain level but we're all good we've just got a house in Balgrey Hill in my wife's set up a wee community group so I've started helping out with the kids club high balls low our youth leader in the day some gains with the veins and I help out there now just kind of supervising playing football with the veins it's amazing to see that I see the veins and I see myself and that's been the biggest thing for me having to go a lot and now I'm doing alright now it's like I'm so humble because I've never been that way and we fuck all many dreams all I wanted to do was get a job and work now I'm flying and it's like I'm acting stultid these veins you're skin dating these men don't feel like cause you're in Balgrey Hill that your dreams won't work you know what I mean it's like pray to God but as long as you move forward in life you'll get what you want it's like a gift if you've got any of those people see it here you're looking at your pals who are mashing dads take it forward every year and you're sitting in fucking cheating sands or something like that I don't know I mean for a day's holiday and then you always feel like you just value yourself but now I get to be in the community get involved in my community and tell these veins see it's not like I'm at the scheme it's the drug dealers are the heroes as you know the drug dealers are the gangsters they're the heroes big brain drovers and all the veins go I want a big success for veins look at a dealer who's got a big fancy motor he's got an amazing wife, a girlfriend and I would love to be the guy that veins look at and carry a normal job carry a worked hard and you go that's the kind of example I'm at you see it but the real value is the value of your life let's say the drug dealers everybody who I grew up with are dating sorry he's big fancy motors or he has the good looking birds or he's birds are fucked mentally they're fucked because what you've got to understand is if you're doing bad in this world your gifting in life is how much goodness you've put in the world so if you're selling drugs man you've got to remember you're destroying other people's lives you're destroying other people's lives to benefit you to walk about with your fake Rolex and drive about in a lease motor that's not even fucking yours anyway kidding on you're a big baller sitting at a party or he's be birds sitting or parties that was on the sesh for two days hen you've had the same fucking knickers one for two days do you know what I mean get a grip of your life that 80 month ago that's what I'm saying that I was laughing man because what I've I was not cracked I'm not postal do you know what I mean I'm not going to mention names firstly I'm not a grass second I was sitting in a house mate I was sitting there last April mate I was out for two days or three days and I'm sitting looking down I've got a guy in a corner with a kettle hanging of his ass where I stripped me to show mate it was freaky man I had two birds greeting I had another guy in a kitchen mate with his tap half cooking I don't know what the fuck he was cooking mate and I was sitting there myself and drinking I'm sitting in my high and I'm sitting with the what the fuck am I doing do you know what I mean what am I doing with my life mate I'm 33 or 32 and I was thinking what am I doing and I went home man and I got on my shit done together mate like I say fast forward 18 months this is the results again but it's scary fall back into that trap to think sit in a party for two three days on fallout Charlie is a life and we get the same tunes only we've been listening to since we were 15 ask yourself is that what it's about and we jump about the tunes with the big swaggers if they can't sit in 15 and I'm sitting on a fucking table and they're dancing with a big bottle of Odie hinking their big ballers when they've just spent all their fucking wages on a pair of new pants and soaps so they can go to the dancing and hink that's it I'm a gangster in fact he moved chucked in for a bottle of Odie a gangster's not a hinker they're all getting pictures mate she's fucking bullshit for all these guys to hink oh he's a gangster I look up to him but he's scary that's a mask he's got on that's vulnerability because they're so fragile if I become loud if I shoot you stab you it keeps people away from me for me it was I was the funny guy I made everybody laugh so for me if I made everybody laugh and everybody liked me they would stay away from me they'd go oh there's Ingris but as soon as I see them I had to date that shit make a fool of myself I was a big fucking jester mate I sure just put a clown suit on and I just ran about the tune charging people but for that that was my mask was the funny guy exactly go to every area and sit at any fucking party because I was funny guy with the clays I have tunes on bamming everybody up but that was a mask for me because I was pleasing everybody else and then you get the mad cunts who would don't talk to me I'll do you but I don't know if I've spoken about it but some man in my pile says I was scared of nothing I was scared of everything but 30 fuck all do you know what I mean so just I'm scared of you but what I'm going to do is pretend that I'm a nutcase you come near me you want to fight me I'm going to do you it's just that that's another mask so we're looking up to these rang heroes and these rang people and really it's the working class people the people who are grinding the people are like a better life to better than mindset is the people who we should be looking up to we've got rang role models we've got role models who like to say you look at a drug dealer and then your mask doing two jobs to try and get you everything you need and your mask not a hero your mask just a normal woman but she's fucking you've made that your mask grafted two jobs to feed you everyday and it's just rang mentalities but I would like to that's the whole idea with the community stuff actually can impact the mums in the community and obviously we can get in the domains and just say that this is let's do something positive with this day some art let's talk to them and give them the attention that they need you know I mean it's good it's exciting exciting future and that's my goal now is to be a better person a better comedian and impact my community and if big things come for that it'll be great but that's what I'm saying we're doing it we're creating it so the next goal is to be a better person in yourself keep improving on you working on your dreams keep taking things to the next level your facebook following is unbelievable it's unbelievable mate you're hitting millions of views every month that is frightening that's what I'm saying the power of social media it's bigger than and that's why the live videos are good because people these are good because people get to see your true self they don't get a fake guy when I go on a stage you've got me for 20 minutes a comedy gig that's an act when you get me for an hour you get to know me a bit better but the thing with the live videos is people get to see you until I'm walking to the gym where I'm walking that's me as a person which is nice and I think that's it people have bought so much is you'll probably get real life videos is like they love that they can talk to you they can say alright big man you're like alright Steve hey boy how's things and you're fucking shy or not but it gives people hope mate and that's the main thing to give people hope that your life's not fucking dead and doing it the same as myself first two years in comedy mate that was fucking shy honestly mate that was horrendous I watched a video of my first gig mate and I was like I could go back in time I'd kick fucking myself get off at a stage if I can sit down but just because I was so determined and wanted a bit of life I just kept digging in digging in and I got good eventually but you never gave up, never gave up mate but that's what I'm saying we give people hope we're at my 30s mate do you know what I mean and usually people say 18, 19s and nearly 20s but it doesn't matter 30s, 40s, 50s man if you've got a vision if you've always had a dream go and fucking do it take the steps mate I got up in the morning got up a bit earlier people say I've no get time I've got two lanes, I've got two jewels no I hated when I worked seeing that if I worked on a call centre seeing that I was walking to work going to the train it's packed for our cunts coming out of the train I felt like an aunt seeing that I'm an aunt colony that you're all going the same way going to your job then you all come back the same way and I thought do you know what I need to fucking get better at comedy because I've had to just cut about and fucking stare at buildings all day man stare at buildings and talk to junkies so I had to start comedy when was it that he says this is what I wanted to say I had bad anxiety and I looked up things I had social anxiety because of stuff in the army so when I looked when I looked to things to tackle anxiety was to get out of your comfort zone so my discomfort was crowds and people so I started, I'll tell you what happened actually I came to the Merchant City Festival when I first got anxiety it was really really bad it was the first time I came out of the house and I ran for here to the Royal having a panic attack feeling I was having a heart attack and I was like don't tell me I'm having a if you're in the Merchant City it's that man that's no heart attacks fucking anxiety so things like that I was terrified so I went to leave the Husserlot and if I did I'd run home or fucking I'd be automatically saying what are you doing so I looked up things to challenge it'd be an ex-army you've just got to attack everything and it was a public speaking it was a terrifying thing so I built myself up, a pal came I went down a gong show two minutes if you're good you get through to five minutes you can win 50 quid if you're shite they put the cared up two minutes I was at shite mate I lasted 15 seconds in the gong days I got one laugh and I remember the feeling it was like oh I feel and it was the first time I properly felt a wee buzz of happiness you know what I mean and after that I would go into a five minute setting and get one laugh but see that one laugh that charged me for the next gig and I had to cudges and that was it mate I just came out of my shell and then after two years I started getting full laughs full gigs fucking do you think that's where the feel good factor is where you make people laugh? make people happy obviously I get something for it I get a buzz when somebody laughs it's like same monsters ink when they give the cunt a fright and they charge the big yellow thing I'm the big yellow thing so I'm getting cunts frights and they're all laughing I'm getting charged up and that's what drives me the thought I have in the commander gig make 500 people laugh mate just bouncing right at us oh mate it was crazy and I didn't want it to come off I was expecting a big fucking hook to come out to pull me off his days and I woke my legs up if you got your material before you go on are they throwing bits in it? both bits are both I've got written material which I'll use but I'll talk to the audience have a laugh I never slag anybody I don't like putting them down but see if somebody heckles us I'll fucking run their life you know what I mean but if somebody is brand new and they're like oh I love you I love you too mate I know how you fight with cunts and I've talked to the audience have a bit of a laugh but I never slag anybody it's good because you always get the man we are so for a year I don't shout did you and that's it mate they're just fucking the inner Ned kicks in slasher hats on scrunchy and you know what I mean I know but what you're doing mate it's frightening man the live show it's good because people see me live on facebook and people like it some people go shit but see it at a live show when I've got an audience it's a completely different environment 10 times better than on my live videos and everybody says that which is nice so it's good because people come expecting that the Gary Fallons live video but they get proper material, they get proper banner, proper laugh for audience that's great but the fear can kick in is that what spurs you on I think because that's what spurs me on if you're me getting back to that old James pure adrenaline mate you know what I've done what I wanted to do see if it all stop tomorrow in my family we're happy mate I'm gonna give a fuck I'm just gonna get a normal job and be a normal guy in my family what I wanted in life was to have my veins back was to have a good marriage and I've got that so everything else that comes as a bonus if comedy stops tomorrow mate I had a great fucking one what's next you know what I mean let's go and take you in a fucking IT company I'll just be good at something else you know what I mean that's it but obviously the comedy thing I'll see you in Canada next year Bangkok you know what I mean no the world chose me the world chose me is there anything we scheme gigs I'm doing that I'm doing a gig in cookie Saturday that's like a fucking peasant here's my caviar but as I'm saying I'll still keep gigs I'll still do the wee pubs because that's what I love I love having that one to one with my audience it's gonna try it on air the material he's like I do this house I'm like I do that on a sale but like I say the numbers that you've had this year has been frightening and there's nobody else doing what you're doing I'm gonna wave me and I'm gonna continue to ride it because I know like I said I spoke about D'Elan she's been getting a lot of stick for the comedy circuit still they heard me tell you what she does which is sad and it's sickening to see people slagging at it the best thing I done which they should do is I took myself out the comedy circuit I don't do comedy circuit gigs anymore you can do something you love when people don't love you I know it's like going to play football before cutting five of sides before guys actually hate you they're not going to pass you the ball they're not going to get you the ball but as a circuit gig is obviously five different comedians you don't see your main James on that gig you all get picked individually after the promoter and you're all good the Scottish comedy circuit is in fire there's obviously people who don't like you for maybe drinking an arsehole at any workplace if you're doing well in your work there's a guy that wanted the same promotion as you you know what I'm meanin' and I didn't like that environment cause of my anxiety I don't like, I'm not, I can't be fake I can't sit around with somebody who doesn't like me cause I'll just go, why do you not like me if I don't like you and that causes a fucking riot as you know so instead of having to feel at it every time I do a gig I just thought do you know what I'm not doing any gigs anymore I'll go and do my own thing and that's when I just thought do you know what I hope more of the things back me I'm sold at most in my gigs 2019 now I can't even believe it but that's because people, I gave it to the people and they say I don't want to do this kind of environment but I can do you just me do you just want a bit and everybody grabbed a bit of the cake and I'm just going to keep putting the cake out for anybody who want to do something my social media is a massive platform it's a great platform to create whatever you want and there's other comedians that will fall in person what I've done, they're their life videos and I'm not jealous I'm just going, good on them but it's not about I'm not competitive because that's something that I used to have I was like that before but seeing how I just want to be a good husband and a good dad the comedy is great and it's good money but somebody does better than me I'll just go at her seeing the way up the ladder that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying there's enough for everybody magic success is in my family life and if I get both let's fucking go for it that's what I'm saying, everything else becomes a bonus but what you're achieving I'm proud of you right back at you mate it's been the second time anybody's been on the show in the last chapter you say we're depressing it was a bit of a depression because we were just starting that it was scary mate I'm starting to have to go what are you doing on a podcast where it's not going to work you need to tone that down a bit this is me man it's anything goes and the amount of people it messes through whether they're homeless or charities wanting to get involved it's unbelievable I had a lot of people after I was done because I was talking about my anxiety and a lot of people mess you and say it was great hearing you talk about anxiety I don't think you'll ever beat anxiety you need to learn to love it and battle it so people get a theory where they go right I'm going to do this and they're breathing it and they go away and that's how people get fucking out you've got how to live and I think that's where that video did let people realise you're going to love anxiety when you get anxiety that's just how you stop an anxiety attack that's how you control a panic attack it needs to get brought into school it needs to get brought into school and how to deal with all that stuff and how to help the mindset and I always keep saying everything's a brain would you get a tag about the Rousin New Faction the day I hang with the young boys and they're going in to speak about my mental health or the youth the Rousin New Faction you've got a big shan text I've done a wee talk with them at the start of the year I showed them a documentary and had a talk with them we've got to go down to schools we've got to go down to jails we've got to get a big Chris on the show as well life's good man and I've got to keep going because it's easy to slip back into bad habits I've got to stay in the trash I've got to go to events I'm getting offered all these nights out so there's so much free stuff to get offered now and it's always temptation there man because the anxiety is certainly people drunk after the events I'm fucked in a Sunday I feel as if I'm hungover I feel as if I've been on one and just drained me just constantly gain your energy at everybody else because you're at a level but then after 2 hours man you're trying to get everybody's loudness and what to dance and whatever man refocus, regain and just get back in my vision so it's probably made the tours are doing well and listen, again thanks for coming on I think the world end this is only the start we've finished this year strong and can't wait to see what 2019's got for us gaza love you brother thank you for liquor new gaffe in the merchant city launch night, forgot the date, what is it? 13th October thank you Gordon, 13th October mate so launch night check it out, merchant city new gaffe it's open, great place great statles, saying that stuff when you buy a vodka in here you get a free bottle of champagne with a vodka and that's okay gaza, again my brother thank you, cheers