 This week's episode is sponsored by Change. Change is an online mentoring program that teaches people with no experience how to create a real profitable online business and e-commerce. I have been working with Ryan at Change for a few years now and attended many events and got to meet the amazing community of like-minded people. These guys are the best of the best. The support these guys offer is personal, no bots or employees. There's no experience needed but like anything in life it takes time as it's a real business with real results. For more information go check out Ryan on Instagram at RyanGybe and he will guide you through the steps to help build a successful business. You can now follow me on all my social media platforms to find out who my latest guest will be and don't forget to click the subscribe button and the notifications bell so you are notified for when my next podcast goes live. And boom we're on. Today's guest we've got Angelica Robles. How are you? Hi, thank you for having me. Thanks for coming on. Your book which we'll touch on in a minute but 16 years investigator, you worked for the FBI, your husband was part of the Mexican Cartel, writing my story, your books through my brown eyes, through these brown eyes, sorry my bad. Working people buy the book first of all. Amazon, Barnes & Noble, it's also on Audible so yeah, in my own voice I get to read it to you. Good stuff. Listen you've came all the way for America to be on this podcast so I'm very grateful. No doubt we'll get into a lot of mad stuff on this story but how are you? I'm good. I love London. It's so nice here. How's the weather been? It's been good. It's not hot. I haven't been out all day. I've been doing podcasts all day but like I said 16 years investigator, I'm working for the FBI. You've done some mad shit. Your husband's done some mad shit. You've got a book which they're turning into a Hollywood movie which we'll touch on but I always like to go back to the start with my guests, get a bit understanding about you, where you grew up and how it all began. Yeah, so born and raised in Chicago, I was born in an underserved community, in Cicero so if everybody knows who Al Capone is, I was raised in Cicero. It's pretty much a Mexican hood. It's predominantly Mexican people and low income, lots of violence, lots of gang activity, lots of drug dealing. What were you like at school? I was very smart. I was very smart and I was very determined because my parents are immigrants from Mexico and they pretty much told us two things. You either work or you get an education. Pick one and that's all we needed to hear. How old are your parents? My parents, so my dad is 73 and my mom is going to be 70 so they were both born in Mexico and they immigrated into the US. Did you have a big family? I have two sisters and one brother so not really. Are you close? We are close. We are very close. What were you like at school? I was very popular and people were always talking about me. So all of the crazy rumors, yeah, it was all about me. Like what? You know, I went to a school where when I went to school, we had the highest pregnancy rate in the country. So it was cool to be pregnant and everybody was pregnant and it became so common that they made classes where you can bring your kids and it would be child development courses, classes. I know, it's crazy. It's crazy because I'm going to be 41. So you can imagine it was an environment where just kids were getting pregnant and nobody was really teaching us about sex and development and so people were just getting pregnant. Boyage? I mean, this was like 15. So, yeah. That's fucked up. It is fucked up. I know, I talk about it in the book because it became prevalent and it was celebrated. It was celebrated. Oh, you're pregnant and you're 15. So I have friends that have like 23 year olds. Does that make you... Why were you not one of the girls who then fell pregnant and try to be the same as everyone else? I think I was involved in sports and I was considered one of the smart kids. So I was in AP classes, so advanced placement classes and we both, me and my siblings were very much... I played soccer since I was three and so I think sports really kept us out of the streets and out of the bedrooms, you know? Yeah, literally because we were doing work and we were going to school but I think what it was is we saw our parents working so hard. Our parents were never around. They were working long, long hours so we raised ourselves and I think seeing that and seeing how hard our parents worked we weren't going to get into any shit. What did you do after school? I went to college. I went and got a four-year degree. I actually was a sophomore in college when I graduated high school. That's how smart I was. So I was just taking all these courses. When I was in high school, I was taking college courses. So I went to college and I didn't do any other crazy partying and the drugs and all this because I knew that the government was going to investigate me and they were able to uncover all this shit that we do in college and so I was a goody two-shoes in college. Was working the jobs, was doing the 911 calls. I was building up my resume so that I looked perfect for the government whenever I went to go apply. So how was that then? How were they looking into you then? Well, they do a background investigation, a thorough background investigation and then when they polygraph you, they ask you everything and anything. So anything is fair game. So what did you study at college? I studied forensic psychology and chemistry. So is that for to go into the government? You just need to have a bachelor's to apply for FBI, CIA, DEA. That's one of the requirements. You have to have a college education. And that was the route you wanted to go down straight away? Yeah, I knew that I wanted to work for the government after one of my friends was murdered. That really kind of catapulted me into working for the government and wanting to do what I did. When I was 15 years old, I was dating a boy and his sister was murdered, dismembered and decapitated by the cartel. And so she went missing for two weeks and when they found her, they found her head and it was completely decayed. And the only reason why we were able to identify her was because she was wearing braces by dental records. It ended up being one of Chicago's most heinous crimes in history. The way that he killed her, she went on a first date. And can you imagine going on a first date and then getting murdered? She went on a first date with a guy she'd never met and the cartel was after him and because she was with him, they took her out as well. And if you read the transcripts of the crime, I reread it probably about three years ago before my book came out because I had never really sat down and listened to the entire testimony of the killer. And the things that he did to them is satanic. I mean, I don't know how somebody can do this to somebody. I mean, he chopped them up with samurai swords, hung them upside down in his bathtub, drained their blood and chopped them up into pieces and then distributed the pieces all over in different parts of Chicago to show, you don't fuck with us pretty much. So I think they found his leg in the Chicago River, her head was in the north side, some of her legs were in the south side and it was pretty much saying you owed us money, so this is how we're getting you back. Was that frequent in Chicago, this sort of stuff? Yes, it's very frequent, but it doesn't make the media because it happens so often. You know, there's so many shootings and killings in Chicago, they've been, they've called it Chirac because it's more people are getting killed in Chicago than in more, but the cartel is heavy and cartel and mafia is very heavy in Chicago. It always has been. And I think when you're involved in that world, you know that it's happening, but the media is not going to be reporting every time they find a dead body. But I think this one was huge because the family was relentless in trying to find her. And so it became a big deal. And I mean, at the time I was 15. So imagine being 15 and trying to deal with this and trying to process all this. It's a lot. What happened when you found out that she was found dead? I felt like I got hit by a train and I felt like I didn't know how to deal with it. I didn't know how to process it. I grew up in a neighborhood where people were getting killed and there was blood on the steps of people's homes. But when it was somebody that you knew, it felt totally different. And especially when you grew up in an environment where things like this happened and people expect you to just move on and get over it and really not process it. So I felt that inside, to be honest with you. And I was scared. I was frightened and I was scared that somebody can do this to some other person. So that's why you wanted the King to join? Yeah. I wanted to join the government because I wanted to know how and why somebody like this, what causes somebody to want to take somebody's life in this manner and just act normal. Like that's not normal. That's psychopath. Yeah. There's plenty of them around. Yeah. I had a man on who was CIA. Yeah. But he says, I don't know if he says you can't join the CIA, but he says the recruit because they'll look at people's college results. They'll look at people that's in prison, like pick pockets or whatever. And they'll look at other people's college results and say, okay, they're 100%, we'll bring them in. So they were recruited by people's results at school, picking the best, picking the best shoplifter to teach other agents how to do it. Like it's mad the organization and how deep and dark it can go as well. Yeah. So how long did you stay in college for? How does a college program work? It's four years in college in the U.S. I only did three years because I was already, I already had college credit going into school. And then to join any agency in the U.S. You have to be 23 years old. So I was 21 when I graduated and I went into criminal counseling. And that's really when I started getting exposed to what we call unfit to stand trial. So somebody who is unfit to stand trial due to insanity. So this person cannot stand in trial because they're crazy. So instead of going to jail, they put them in a federal psych ward pretty much. And they have these people pretty much zombied out on so much medication because I used to talk to them. So my job right out of college was I was doing case management for those who were unfit to stand trial. So pretty much insane people. Where you go in and you talk to them and you try to get more information about who they are, what really got them to do what they did. I remember my first murder, he had set his boss on fire. He set his boss on fire and then pushed him off of a balcony of a building. So can you imagine this man on fire falling down from a building and this man just did it on purpose because he fired him. He fired him, so he fired him? Yeah. How long did you do that for? I did that for about a year and a half and then that's when I went in and I started doing undercover work. How much? So I got thrown into undercover work. Very young, how old? I started undercover at 23. The young is very young. Yeah. So see when you're doing the interview and that interview criminals, but not as as crazy as those people's other interview. A lot of people have done some bad shit, but how see when you interview in your very first one, were you nervous or were you excited? I was very nervous, but I was taught that in order to speak to somebody who goes against your morals and ethics, you have to literally disassociate yourself from emotion and just listen, right? And it's hard because you as an individual, you have a lot of judgment and that's one of the things that I've learned is judgment goes deep because we are born with such principles and we are taught such principles from wrong, but when you're sitting in front of somebody and they're telling you how they killed somebody or why they killed somebody, you really have to stay unbiased and just listen. And I remember the first time I had that conversation with him. I told myself, murderers need hugs too because I was listening to the child in him talk about how his father raped him and how his father beat him. And I had compassion for him because due to this childhood trauma that he had, it turned left where he now became a killer and he just did not have any emotion. Because everybody who I interview, every criminal, every bad man, I've interviewed 100% of the time every single one has been bullied or abused when they're younger. Did you see this also? Yes, that's the number one trait of psychopaths, sociopaths, murderers, killers, drug dealers, terrorists, the whole nine. I've interviewed the scum of the earth, name it. People who kill children, people who eat people, people who terrorize and, you know, Iraqis, Pakistanians, you know, pretty much terrorist members who take other lives. 100% of them always had some childhood trauma. I mean, it's like Jeffrey Dahmer and all this other stuff, you know. It develops into this addiction or almost into an addiction and an obsession with whatever it may be. Is that a tactic to send a young good-looking girl in to then interview these men because they open up more? Yes. Is there any sort of flutting? Yes, definitely. So, when I walk in, of course they see me and they think I'm like the social worker, right? They don't think I'm the exo-interrogator. And I never yell at people. That was never my tactic. My tactic is I'm always very nice. I'm always very... I've been told that I have this energy where you're comfortable and you just open up. I'll be at the grocery store and people just open up to me and I'm like, I don't want to know your life story. But I think it's that energy that I was taught to have. And so they start fixing their hair. And in that moment, it's like two, three seconds, your brain puts his defenses down. And then that's when I go in and start asking questions. And then they realize, oh, wait, I'm telling too much and now I'm self-incriminating myself because they put their guard down. But you ever scared? Yeah, I was scared. I talk about it in the book. There was one guy who attacked me. We were sitting like this, like you and I are. And I don't think he took his medication that morning because he was too, too perky. Like he was too bright-eyed. And as we were talking, he shoots across the table, grabs my neck, we both fall back and I can feel his breath and his teeth grinding in my face. He was trying to strangle me. But in that moment, we get these little devices where if we need assistance, we press on them. So I was able to grab it and press it and then security came in. But he was going to kill me. Did you ever feel sorry for anyone? Yeah, all the time. I mean, I feel sorry for all of them because they have this representation or this understanding that who they are is to kill. It's almost like they're lost. Their mind is lost. That there's no coming back. Did you ever have anyone try to trick you as if they were crazy just to get a smaller sentence or an easier prison? Yes. So with terrorists, a lot of people don't realize this. With terrorists and drug dealers, especially coming from the U.S., they all want one thing. They all want anonymity and they all want a U.S. citizenship. They want to stay in the U.S. They never want to be extradited back to their home countries. And that's what blew my mind because three years ago, three years ago, right before the pandemic, I was doing Somalian terrorists in California. They were bringing the Somalian terrorists like pirates. They were bringing them to the federal penitentiaries in California and I was talking to them and I was like, why? Why do you guys take stuff? And he's like, because we don't have anything. So for us to take is for us to have something. And it blew my mind just to feel a need to have something is why they were terrorizing the boats. Who's the scariest when you interviewed? I want to say my husband because I was sleeping and married to somebody for 10 years and I didn't even know that he had been involved with the enemy. So I would say that's probably the scariest because that's when it humbled me that I'm considered one of the best interrogators in the world and I didn't even know I was literally sleeping next to the enemy like literally and that's scary because that just shows how I was so lost in my marriage and so lost in trying to raise our children that I didn't even realize he was involved. That's probably the scariest. The world's full of crazy bastards like there is genuine Britain, it's more murders, it's more shootings, it's not really gang orientated it's drug related or American seem to have proper psychopaths serial killers why do you think that is? I think it all goes back to childhood and environment, how they were raised and who raised them and what they dealt with. It always has to be like when you hear about serial killers that are sociopaths these are regular individuals who hold regular jobs who are very loving fathers or corporation heads but then they have this dark side where they're doing all this other shit in the background but just like your last guest was talking about human trafficking is huge in the US, it's a huge market and it's almost surpassing drug dealing because of vices and addictions there's a lot of people that like to have sex with children Why do you think that is? Do you think that's always been here in the world but it's just now you hear more of it or do you think there's something not quite right that people have gone down that route, satanic and doing weird shit and drinking blood and abusing kids and killing kids and harvesting organs but what I don't know the facts and stats but there's something not right, it seems to be getting fucking worse. It is worse and I'll tell you it got worse during the pandemic because it's all addiction people have addictions it could be drugs, sex, alcohol children and cocaine stimulates the US economy as much as people like to say that the DEA is this war against drugs it's the same people that are involved in the government that are allowing this drug to come into the US same thing with children the situation in Mexico and Central America is gotten so bad with the economy as well as the government climate that what's happening now is families are selling their children for money so these kids are being sold to the system of human trafficking for money, for survival and a lot of people think that it's immigrant children but it's actually not, it is a lot of immigrant children but it's also just regular American children that get caught into this world Did you ever cry, interrogate any of these men? No I would cry afterwards but never during because that would be After hearing the stories Yes, whenever you go home and this was probably in the beginning when I was starting to grow into my own interrogation skills I had to detach who I was in the interrogation room to who I am in real life and I tell this story all the time when my husband was ready to tell me his story I had to separate wife from the interrogator in me and as much as I wanted to kill him because I literally reached for my gun to kill him in a split second I thought do what you do best and separate wife from the situation and interrogate him What's the worst stories you had to hear? The killing of children as a mother I think that's the worst I have two kids, a 7 and a 5 year old but for somebody to just be killing kids and enjoying it that's probably the worst because a child is so pure and a child can't defend himself and when you have an addiction to killing and raping children you're really fucked up that's the worst that you can possibly get Do you see because you see all these predators on TV you just know he's a fucking weirdo sometimes listening you can be wrong but you get that vibe you just think he's actually play bastard do you know or was it totally different when you thought nahi he could pass as someone normal or did you feel that coldness or the vibe where something was amiss I always feel that, I can be at the grocery store and I can feel that but I've been doing this for so long that I can just read people and they don't even have to say anything I can tell when someone is lying I can tell when somebody is nervous is hiding something so I can just be sitting at the grocery store and just observing people by body language and I'm like yeah that guy probably has dead bodies under his house because they just they're disconnected emotionally from reality if that makes sense and they're floating in this life but they have just this other vice that kind of fuels them and I tell this to people when I interviewed killers I asked them what do they feel and they say exhilaration it's almost like being high on drugs when they kill somebody and look into their eyes and see their life being taken away it's almost like a hit for them it's crazy when did you realise I changed on you because the amount of people I interview now I wouldn't say I've just been more wary of the world who my kids are around and became more protective did you see a change on you did you become more cold to the world yeah I definitely did so I did two years of undercover work and I was taken and I had guns to my head and all that did happen which will go into more detail in the movie because I left a kind of vague in the book strategically for movie purposes but I started realising nobody gives a fuck about you and your life is meaningless you're the only one that puts meaning on your life maybe you or your mother but these people they don't care they kill people like they're swatting flies and so I had to grow thick skin and I had to understand that there's no way to get emotionally involved in any way shape or form you literally have to just be numb that's the only way to describe it what was your tactics going on and speaking to people did you have a game plan or did you just wing it where you kind of knew what you were doing but it's just robotic so what I learned was comfort people start opening up based on their comfort level so once they feel comfortable they start opening up but my tactic was to connect with them so most of the guys that I was talking to were Mexican drug dealers or of Mexican descent so I lived in Mexico for five years so starting the conversation off in Spanish it's like they were already comforted like oh she speaks Spanish and oh she's really pretty oh I think she's a social worker so everybody thought I was a social worker that was there to mentally help them but they didn't realize I was actually there to get information out was there anybody who was wary of you and closed off yeah there's always been some there was one gentleman I remember that I did bang the table that was the only time that I got upset and banged the table where he says yes I know yes I don't know and you're like well what is it yes or no and that was probably one difficult person that I can remember and it was a Somalian terrorist what did you do after the interrogation stuff so after the interrogation stuff I went and worked for a communication company called Equilibria it's a global communication company and it's pretty much learning for corporations how to communicate and during the pandemic I was on a podcast with another London guy Mark Wilkison and I was approached to write my book because I spoke about my undercover work during the pandemic and how everything was going on and so I wrote my book and I lost my contracts because nobody was flying and all of my contracts were flying based I didn't do any work in Houston I was flying to California to the federal penitentiaries to go interrogate different terrorists and criminals and drug dealers and I wanted it that way because I didn't want to be working in Houston where it's too close for comfort so when I wrote my book that's when my ex my husband at the time wanted to read the transcript before I went to editing and the crazy part is I was actually working for the DEA and I wrote my book I had gotten a little side hustle with the DEA and I was supervising the wire room so you know the wire room is all the undercover agents that wear wires I was sitting in the room listening to all those wires and so when I came home I had worked the night shift and then that's when my husband said hey I need to talk to you and I said well what is it you know I can't wait and then that's when he told me that him and his family had been part of the Mexican Cartel Well did you meet your husband? I met him on a dating app but the crazy thing is is he had his life so well put together and there's a whole other backstory that will be talked about in book 2 but so he's a commercial real estate broker so what he does is he has a very high position but who do you think is buying buildings in Houston? The Cartel members are buying buildings so he's involved in those transactions and so he grew up in the cartel he was like an Ozark child so Ozark is like a drug lord show in the US and the reason why I mentioned Ozark is because in the Netflix series the children grew up in the cartel so when you grow up in the cartel this becomes a norm for you and that was the only way that I can have compassion for him because I grew up in a neighborhood where people were being shot so hearing gunshots to me was normal so him seeing drugs and lots of money was a normal for him because he grew up in that environment but that's the only way I was able to have compassion to the child in him of what I had done for a living so it was almost and this sounds crazy and I always say this I feel like my job prepared me for what he did to me because now I was sitting with somebody I was married to and I was asking the same exact questions that I was asking all my drug dealers or all my drug lords because he was not part of that bunch What was he like? He was a dork like he was a total dork and he was awkward Could that have been a manipulation tactic though because you knew who you were? What did you tell him your job was? He knew He knew that I was an agent Could that have been a target? Yes and I'll tell you this and this will be in the movie and is in the book the day we got married I overheard a conversation between him and his father and his father who is a millionaire did not give us any money for our wedding so that was flag number one he hated me we never got along he said to him don't marry her she's gonna fuck us over I tried to call the wedding off I legit tried to call the wedding off and my best friend said no he's perfect for you look at this wedding look at all these people so I went through with it but that was my gut instinct telling me to not marry this man Destigator how does that then fly under the radar? you must have come into question that you were working with the Mexican cartel also because for me looking at the outside then I'm not fucking FBI I'd be thinking she's involved Yes so that's what happened so when he told me he talked to me for about two hours I was able to stay calm cool and collected for those two hours and I gave him that space for him to be completely honest and transparent and I tell people this was the most honest and transparent my husband had ever been in the ten years we were married at this moment after he told me I said to him you realize I have to report this and he said yes the reason why I had to report this for those out there that are gonna say she's not a ride or die I was part of the government and I gave an oath to the government so when I reported it I went on their federal investigation for seven weeks I was then now on the other side of the interrogation table a world-class interrogator now on the other side and I'm sitting there like you're really gonna ask me that because I was a professional and I got polygraphed and the investigation went on for seven weeks they went through my phones they went through my emails they went through everything make sure I wasn't involved and they found out I was not involved I literally had no idea What's that like to choose government work over family because you were broken by it or was it a one where you fought had to think because you know yourself family's family if the guy for ten years doesn't matter what he done let you say ride or die that family I kill for no problem as a mother the lioness in me came out and I was like wow not only did you fuck me over but you fucked your kids over because for a man to not protect and provide for his family to me is not a man and I say this and I say this here because I've heard how you feel about how a man needs to show up for his family but for somebody I felt like he was that fucked up and lost in the sauce for him not to think that this was gonna come out at some point his children have to find out what he did at some point right now they're too young to understand but I started thinking about my kids I literally was like fuck you in this ten years it's okay that you fuck me over but the children because now the kids have to deal with this and now the kids have to grow up knowing that you did this and so it was very difficult it was very difficult but that mother instinct just comes up and you're just ready to fight but the crazy thing about it is the government told me you have two options you lose your entire career or you have to disassociate yourself from him and divorce him as soon as possible it was the fastest divorce in like Texas history because I divorced that man I took the children we were living this lavish lifestyle I took the children and I left but before I left I told him I'm not gonna take any of your money because he had thousands of dollars that he was hiding from me in offshore accounts I mean this whole houses businesses all types of stuff that I wasn't aware of but I was very smart and I said I'm not gonna take anything but I need you to sign this authorization and he said the authorization was him giving me permission to write everything that he had told me about his childhood and his family in my book and he says oh your stupid little book yeah I'll sign it so he signs it and I leave and he's now left in this big house he didn't think that the book was gonna do as well as it did well the book hits best seller and then now the book got picked up for a Hollywood movie and his family tried to come back and sue me for all the the success of the book and now the movie and I said well look at what he signed why did they tell you you know till this day I still ask that question and I think it boils down to selfishness I think he wanted the girl and he didn't care that I was an agent or work for the government and he was selfish but you know cartel members are selfish they don't care about anybody else but themselves and I really think he thought that he was gonna get away with it but the crazy part is if the book did anything it did to my own household because me telling my story of trauma caused him to want to tell his story it was the book who triggered him I don't remember his mother saying why did you tell her she could have gone another 10 years without knowing but I guess his conscience just ate away at him so much that he needed to tell his truth How deep was in the cartel you talking about shipping drugs or you just talking about him buying properties with No, it was deep so in the book I do talk about um his uncle was moving a million dollars worth of cocaine Texas to Boston and his uncle was murdered dismembered and decapitated just like my friend and lost a million dollars worth of cocaine so if you're moving a million dollars worth of cocaine you're not you're not involved with you know small dealings that's a lot of money and a lot of cocaine so they pretty much kidnapped him took all the winnings and the money and dumped his body when did you go undercover I went undercover in 2004 2004 like 2005 to 2007 and what's that for it was for corporate fraud and cartel members so I did old school surveillance surveillance now is done through our phones I can follow you I know where you're at I know what you're eating now I know everything but I did old school surveillance where I was in the van with the camera watching you from the bushes when I did surveillance there was no iPhones the most technology that we had was pinging your phone but you know phones are analog they weren't digital yet because the first iPhone didn't come out to like 06 so I did old school surveillance where I'm like in the bushes with the camera what would you have done if you had gone undercover try to catch cartels and you seen your husband would that have been weird or that would have been more heartbreaking because he would have been right that would have been more heartbreaking yeah but the crazy part is and that I tried to stress in Texas they don't like me talking about a cartel because Houston is a huge funnel for cartel the cartel activity in Houston is huge I mean think about it my husband grew up in Houston and his family was part of the cartel but the crazy thing is there was only one agency that knew about it and was the DEA Department of Defense didn't know FBI didn't know nobody knew because what people don't realize is in the states the agencies don't work together they hate each other so the DEA still hired me to work in their wire room and they were aware that my ex and his father were involved in the cartel that's how fucked up it was they still hired me and we're like oh let's give her a little job even though she doesn't know for the 16 years you've done it you're interrogating the world's worst people to then undercover what did you do after that and how does it all work to get into the FBI and the government what sort of hurdles do you need to jump over so I did get so when I left so when all this came out I decided to still publish my book at the time my top secret clearance was the Department of Defense I was a contractor with the Department of Defense when all this went down so a contractor is you're a contract agent right so you don't belong to the government but you still do work for them like freelance yes if you can so I still work for the government I work for the Department of Homeland Security now and I still do interrogations for drug dealers but on a contract basis I'll do like one or two high risk cases I'm not really known knowledge but I'm pretty much saying it in the second book because Department of Defense blacklisted me so for people on this side of the earth I don't know if you guys know what blacklist means so I got blacklisted by Department of Defense for publishing the book because I decided to still go move forward and publish the book so I get blacklisted lose my entire career then my book hits bestseller and I'm literally living off of book sales and then a year later I get signed with Hollywood to make the book into a movie so you're still working for the government now yeah I work for Department of Homeland Security and when did you join the FBI so I joined I was undercover 2005 and then 2013 I left full-time work and I started doing contract work in 2013 so you were in the FBI then no I left 2013 so in 2005 you were FBI yeah undercover so undercover for two years and then I was interrogating until 2013 so you've been interrogating forever since I was 23 I'll be 41 in two months do you get to speak to someone we've been doing it so long to talk about the shit that you've heard the shit that you're trying to interact with and that energies with these evil people do you get to speak to a psychologist or make sure you're out? yeah we do if we needed it yeah for sure yeah therapy has been really a lifesaver for me I think I went into therapy after my friend got murdered because that was very difficult to deal with how does that make you feel you're interrogating these people who have murdered young girls as well does that bring back the emotion of your friend it definitely does but I felt you know I went into this field and I tell this to people we choose our careers based on our pain and I feel like I chose my career based on my pain because I wanted to understand how somebody can do something to another human being and you just don't go and work for the government just because you see a movie and you think it's cool you go through some shit for anybody to go work for the CIA FBI DEA it's not as fun as the movies make it seem in fact it's very dangerous and a lot of undercover people don't make it yeah it's not like James Bond it's all glorious they're drinking fucking drinks it's never like that it's never like that we're never driving lambos no we're in the shadows we're in the slums we're hiding in the darkness there's no way we're driving lambos the cartel doesn't even drive lambos they beat down Toyota's do you become a target when you're interrogating these people and people find out that you're not a social worker or that sweet girl just trying to I don't think I become a target I get this question a lot I don't think I become a target because most of these people are already incarcerated they're already in the process of getting indicted and I'm not the one that makes any of these big choices whether they're gonna get you know or whether I just collect evidence and I collect information and give it to the people so if anything I think the cartel was laughing behind my back and saying like look at her she's been working for the government for so long talking to us members for years and years and years and here we are we knew of her family she didn't even know and I always tell this to people a cartel wife she did not know everything but she is aware that their husband is involved with the cartel I wasn't aware at all because you're getting in there every day you've seen the energy change because the cartel would have been coming in knowing who you were because of your husband did you notice are you just thinking they were smattling everyone else or did you notice why the fuck are they not opening up as much as everybody else did you question that cartel I think people don't realize that white color crime is cartel money laundering and bezeling that's a lot of money that's being moved around and laundered and it's usually corporate America is involved business owners big business owners I think people think that cartel is just moving drugs back and forth through the borders but it's a whole business empire where money needs to be hidden money needs to be laundered and I don't think they realize that cartel is white color crime and so for a businessman like my ex-husband it became very simple because when they're buying buildings in Houston you go out and celebrate it's like Wolf on Wall Street everybody goes out and celebrates they do coke they go to strip club it's a big celebration because it's a lot of money being involved and it's crazy because people think that it's just like drugs that are being moved across the border I'm like it's a whole empire that's connected with human trafficking and business and the government and even our own government is corrupt because how do you think these tons and tons of cocaine is getting across the border that's a whole different operation in itself I believe everybody's got a killer in them everybody can kill no matter who it is the women the man everybody's got that button where if they need to I believe everybody has got that potential for sure did you see innocent not innocent people but did you see people who were sort of weak looking who then just fucking snapped I mean look at Chapel like when we see this man you see him I think he's like five eight big beer belly I mean the guy looks harmless but he was running this whole empire and I remember this is how crazy it was I was in the DEA elevator with the DEA Houston director when his phone rang I was in the elevator with him when he said oh we have Chapel and he was being extradited to Houston that's how crazy I was involved with the DEA he escaped he escaped all the time is that because the money he had he was paying people off how big was El Chapo than Escobar I think they're about the same I mean when there's money and drugs involved and once you've killed killing becomes easy for you people say I will let El Chapo wear my hat on yeah fuckers so see when when you see the serial killers and the dark stuff that people are doing does it make you more paranoid outside of prisons and stuff does it make you question everything and be more wary of how that the world can be like nothing surprises me now I've seen it all I've heard it all the things that people are doing to get organs that's another huge industry that people don't realize people get put to sleep and you wake up and you're missing a kidney because that's another big industry of organs and the selling of organs that's huge they harvest organs or they just mug you and take your organs it's pretty bad it's huge it's a whole another and it's all interconnected with drugs and the human trafficking the human trafficking is children trafficking let's not get that twisted and it's number one in Houston that's how I ended up in Houston in Chicago so I stopped doing undercover work and I started doing human trafficking in Houston which I didn't even realize it was a thing I didn't even think human trafficking was alive and well in Houston and it's huge how bad does that actually for people who don't understand how bad it is it's really bad so just to get an idea you can go to a bar in the hood in Houston and they take you to the back and there's little girls and little boys against the wall and these drunk men come in and they're like which one you want and they're like I'll take that one and then they just take them to the back and rape them and then the little kid goes back to the wall it's bad and if you look up at the stats it's we have a lot of stings that go down in Houston but obviously people don't realize that these cases need to be worked on for years at a time because there's evidence that needs to be collected in order to indict them the most or as many people as possible it's not just like hey something's going on let's go save these kids it has to be done strategically but the most trafficked child age is 11 because an 11 year old is not a little kid and it's not developed enough so it still falls within like a child you have many rogue agents who work and get paid off as many there's a lot I was working in the wire room in Houston and the wire room you're there 24 hours it's always man you cannot leave the wire room unattended somebody's always listening in on calls and it's crazy because it becomes a story you're sitting there listening to this guy and that guy and then you start growing emotions for somebody and then they get killed and you're like oh that guy's gone so he's dead now who else is going in so when did you decide to write the book through these brown eyes when did it come out what was the meaning behind writing it so through these brown eyes it's pretty much my life story through my eyes told in my own words and it just starts with childhood trauma and why I went to go work for the government and then just trauma after trauma after trauma and how I was able to turn trauma into resilience including the book was already written and then all this unraveled because of the book which ended up being the end of the book me finding out that my husband had been part of the Mexican cartel which was a hell of a story because that's what Hollywood wanted you can't make this shit up like you really can't make even if you tried to like this was really my life how many times did they give you the polygraph test oh wow so I get polygraphed every five years so my first one was at 23 so do the math probably like five or six times so what did they ask you they asked me was I involved did you know about it were you hiding it were you stealing secrets because ultimately they treated me like the drug dealer because I was the one who had given the oath to the government not him they didn't care but here's the crazy story the government didn't care about them they came after me because I would have the bigger crime if I was involved I would be sitting in federal prison next to Chapo for probably life in prison so you wrote the book you gave it to your husband were he's in love for these have a good relationship was it normal our relationship was not normal I tried to leave a year in because he did a 180 on me I think he did everything nice and great and then once we signed the papers he totally switched on me and he said no more parties because I used to entertain and have dinner and have our friends over we moved to the suburbs he almost tried to isolate me and I had children for six years I was having babies so as long as I was having children he had control over me because I had to care for the kids obviously we were stuck at home and a lot of stuff started coming out to the surface a lot of the things that he was hiding money wise property wise LLC wise he had some businesses and I just started noticing some things coming in the mail because I was home all the time and so I think our our relationship started to deteriorate because there was obviously trust issues and there was obviously a lot of things he was hiding and I think he almost needed the book is what set him off when he read all of my trauma I think he felt sorry for me and was like oh my god I need to tell her this and can you imagine holding this secret for 10 years from your wife and your family but your family knowing and then having and then revealing it I tell myself he must have felt so light by releasing all that energy that he was hiding for 10 years it's a lot How much did you feel by kind of kind of strong women trying to make a living coming over all your trauma and pain you're married it's not the best relationship you've got kids so you're trying to make it work to then finding out that he's a fraud basically yeah it's probably the worst feeling in this world it really is the way I described it was and realizing you're still alive and peeling yourself off the tracks that's how I describe it Could you have become a target then by knowing this information I think so but I think I have I think there's some more interesting aspects of how their involvement were because he wasn't afraid of me reporting it so I think that the dad and I'll go into it in book 2 but I do think the dad became part of witness protection program because the dad was living in Honduras for 10 years the 10 years we were married he was living in the jungles of Honduras and that's usually when you go into witness protection program you go to this off shore location Your dad was a snitch? I think so Is that why he was scared of you then? I think so and I also think that his father was telling him out of all the women that you could pick why would you pick this one you know and I do believe the dad got out of his dealings however I don't know if it was witness protection program or what it was but what my ex-husband told me was whenever his uncle died and they lost that when he lost that million dollars there was a shift and I think that that was a shift What happened to your husband? Nothing happened to my husband he just grew up in the cartel but his uncle was murdered Did they get investigated? I have no idea I don't think so I think the dad became part of witness protection program gave some information up the dad went to live outside of the country and they kept all these millions of dollars because they own a lot of land in west Texas how do you own all this land 1400 acres of land working with a vending company business but that's how they were they were money laundering is through the vending company business because it's a cash flowing business Does the dad of us see the kids know? I think I think the DEA knows but they're just not going to talk and the department of defense whenever they investigated me they weren't going to try to get information because all they needed to know was that I wasn't involved so once I was cleared I was cleared How was that feeling? I knew I wasn't involved because I was shocked they could tap all my calls and me on the ground crying telling my best friend why did I marry this fucker I was shocked and I think the pentagon was shocked department of defense was even more shocked because when I called my boss she must have been so silent in that phone because she didn't even know what to say she's like how did this fucking happen like I get investigated every five years by the government because you need to be investigated every five years to have a top secret clearance and nobody saw this nobody knew of this so that's why I was like somebody had to know so much so that I still got cleared to go work for the DEA that's what blows my mind Were you nervous when the book came out? I was How much clearance do you have to get for that space if you're working for the government? A top secret clearance so top secret is the highest clearance that you can get in the government and I was terrified I was terrified of publishing the book because not only do I talk shit about the government but I was disclosing all this in an area in Houston where it's very prevalent of drug dealing and cartel but then I thought to myself the cartel gains nothing by killing me the thing about it I'm not going out in public and talking about specific names or specific plans or specific movements I'm not really identifying anybody from the cartel I'm just saying I ended up marrying into the cartel and so a lot of people thought I was going to end up dead in a ditch but I said if you're logical and you have understanding of how the cartel works if the cartel kills me I'm going to be plastered on CNN ex-agent dead in a ditch that's too much noise for the cartel the cartel doesn't need attention or noise because remember the cartel tries to stay under cover and tries to stay in the darkness that's why you never see these cartel members you never see Chapo with a Lambo or fancy cars the guy's wearing jeans and a t-shirt and eating tacos and I think a lot of people get brainwashed in what they see in the media and in the movies that they think that it's this whole flashy-dashy type of world and it's not yeah, it's the fake life it's the glorifying the fake life but they put some of these films the fancy cars and the fancy women and all the jewelry but that just makes people think that's what I want to go and get it and it just draws red flags for people who then target people are so silly man I had an old drug lord on from Liverpool just last week he bought a white Rolls Royce he says it was his biggest liver mistake because it just draws so much attention it draws attention and the crazy thing is I have a story in my book about the Elote Lady so this is a lady who has a little cart that's selling corn outside of the grocery store in Houston this little woman is selling corn outside of the grocery store she goes around leaves the little cart and gets in an escalade so it's like you know when people have money they want to be so flashy but then when you get to a level that you're making it you don't want to be flashy and then all of a sudden now you want to not look like you have money because it draws attention so when you're a cartel member you do not want to draw attention what ship you talking about the government I was talking about Trump I talked about Trump in the book and I talked about the corruption in the government I went in the government to work I really wanted to make a difference I really wanted to understand why these crazy fucks do what they do and I ended up seeing a whole different side it's nepotism whoever likes you the most it's a popularity contest and everybody's doing corrupt things I talked about Trump in the book how all these people rushed into this government building like that was planned you know how hard it is to get into government buildings it's very hard there's people on the roof with guns so for all these people to just rush in one day and nobody knew that this was going to happen is I think it's a bunch of bullshit is that actors yeah no it was actually people it was off yeah no they were actors they were Trump supporters and you know shit like that doesn't just happen because even me I have access to these buildings and even people who have access to these buildings it's not that easy for me it was like you guys are so stupid this was orchestrated this was planned you know just like 9-11 and all this other stuff stuff was planned it just doesn't happen this was planned and orchestrated and you know it's crazy you see all these people hanging off of government buildings and doing this crazy madness and people say oh it just happened no it didn't just happen are you okay isn't that a bit of a mess just now what's America like in regards to just life problems with the economy obviously we're going through a recession and obviously there's a lot of debt there's a lot of crime I think you know just like the gentleman was talking about there's a lot of crime that goes unspoken of especially with drugs with the rising cocaine addiction and obviously now it's becoming harder to sustain a certain type of lifestyle which causes more crime so and I mean let's not even talk about mental health and depression because there's more suicides, there's more killings all of that is all up on the rise it's sad though isn't it I think it's just everywhere in the world and the fucking sad things the world doesn't need to be like that doesn't need to feel agreed to envy and poison and bad foods and toxins and pollution and whatever it is that's destroying people a better world in our lifetime and that's sad to think because only needs to people make a stand to then create better change but I think people are just so caught up in pain they can't free think anymore yeah I think yeah I mean it's a fucked up world and I don't think it's going to get any better it's just going to keep getting worse and I hate to say this but it's like Covid the strongest will survive what about what's the worst thing you've seen being an investigator the worst thing that I've seen has been I would say the human trafficking how children are being used as money and they're transferable and they're being used I mean it's like cattle it's like I'll give you five if you give me this I think that's the saddest thing is that now children have become currency how about that as a mother it's horrible in fact I sometimes don't even take my own kids to the grocery store because that's how bad it is in Houston kids are just being taken and stolen off of carts so how's life been since the books being released it's been great I have to say the worst thing that happened to me was the best thing that happened to me because what I didn't do with him in ten years I did on my own in three years like I became a best seller and then now I signed the movie with Hollywood and I was named the executive producer and I now have people that are wanting to buy my intellectual property for book two so it's crazy it's like I was on the floor crying my life was over and then it just took a turn what happens with your kids do they ever get to see they see them it's all very strategically done obviously it's all enforced so yeah and surprisingly we actually have a better relationship now than we did before so but if you were to ask him about the book he denies denies denies denies he's like it's all a lie it's not true so that's the story he goes with do you think it's because there's no bullshit anymore no lies, no deceit because holding lies and deceit it does something to your energy now if you know someone's off if they've done something you're thinking you're off today what's up it drains your energy it drains your soul for sure it's mad though for you to be doing that job interrogating people to then being tracked, lied to filled do you know what I mean? it's literally the worst thing that I can never even put it into words or even think of it my worst enemy should never go through that do you think he was learning tactics from you to get out here? I don't think he was I think that his involvement because he was a child right I think his involvement was strictly monetary I think he was really good with money so I think with him it was just the moving of the money that he was doing but I mean he told me when he was in high school he was a runner he was moving drugs in his little high school car he would go to baseball practice and then he would go drop drugs off what he looked for telltale signs fidgeting, twitching and eye contact do you get taught all that? we get taught all that but everything that we learn you kind of learn through experience and you learn what works for you best any high profile names? that I can say no I mean I already did say I did mention Chapo and again one thing that I did learn that I could say is people think that these people are sitting in a penitentiary and most of them are in orange farms like they don't put them in the penitentiaries they take them to a remote location but the remote location is never disclosed to the media and everybody thinks that these big drug lords are sitting in the federal penitentiaries or not a lot of them don't get the death penalty because they're too valuable they're too valuable to the entire organization and they're too valuable to entire investigation so if they end up dead it's because somebody ordered them to be killed just like Weinstein but yeah do you have to do psychiatric reports on these people as well? I don't no they're called mental health assessments but I'm not a psychiatrist I don't do that for me most of my interrogations were trying to almost the way that I explain it is trying to interrogate a child how do you interrogate a child is you talk to somebody you talk to their inner child because that's where it all stems from is the child in them did any of them ever break down? all the time yeah you think these guys are out here killing and slicing people but they're just they're just pussies yeah they're scared and I think when you press their buttons they become children they turn into children yeah and I think that was probably the best tactic was when you hit a nerve of their childhood that's when they break down because then they start realizing where all this started from or where it stemmed from and it was usually the bullying or the rape or the molestation from a parent or a loved one because they felt that they weren't taken care of and to be part of a bigger organization where they feel they're being taken care of something bigger feels better to them than to not be wanted do you see a lot of the ones who were abused as kids then become abusers themselves all the time you hear about this all the time you have these corporation owners CEOs, business guys who are having sex with minors and having sex with children and it's because they were raped as children so this is what they know a lot of them always have those tendencies it's fucking weird though it's crazy have you watched that show to catch a predator where the kids the adults act like kids and then they show up to the house to have sex with them and then the guy comes out hey what's up and it's like CEOs, pastors church heads of churches don't you think though they should be doing polygraph tests with people who work with kids I think so but the problem is it costs a lot of money it costs a lot of money the equipment is expensive the trained individual has to be there so even if, I mean think about all these teachers that get caught having sex with these kids can you imagine how much money the state would have to pay to get these polygraphs done even if you do a polygraph centre in every city it shouldn't be that and if you're going to work with kids or work on a soccer team or working cub scouts, anything to do with kids, listen if you're a fucking predator you're going to do stuff to be near kids so it's prime target so all you need to do is come in for the test, okay listen you failed but we'll keep it discreet you just can't work with kids it's crazy, I mean they do they do basic background investigations but a basic background investigation just is going to show how many tickets you got driving or if you have any criminal charges but they don't do any psychologicals on you to see if you're really messed up in the head because in the UK they can change their name here for less than 20 pounds so they get a new identity and that's where they can move away and do the creepy shit as well what's the rule, what's the the court system here and it's a joke for pedophiles it's a joke for sex cases, it's community services, a year prison, two year prison, what in America the chemically cast rate is this correct in America is rough so if you get put on the sex offender list you can't get a job, you can't get a house you can't get an apartment because you gotta go on this database so even if you got caught let's say you were 18 and she was 16 you can get charged with child molestation or like rape you know and you get put on this list online and see how many sex offenders live near your house like there's a whole database and you're like oh so and so lives here and then you can't live like two miles from schools or daycares and stuff like that, it's crazy that's the way it should be so if you get put on the database and it's public, you can go on there and just look it up, nobody will hire you but that's the way it should be like I say you can change your name change your name for less than 20 new identity and there's been so many young girls being murdered by people who's changed their name and then moved away and then they've changed their identity there needs to be more protection for kids the law in the UK for this is an absolute fucking joke it's an absolute joke so when's the film, talk about the film so what's the plans? so the film is called Veritas Veritas Veritas means the truth in Latin and so it's going to be produced by Goultrie Films that's who I signed with and so you know there was a writer strike and an actor strike so the writer strike it's been going on for 8 months now 6 months and so the writers finally agreed because now my writers can actually write because our writers were not able to write the script to my movie so now we're back in action again so I got named executive producer so I'm involved in everything the creative process the actors the script everything down to the production so I'll have hands on it so see when your book comes out and then you start doing talks and did anybody ever come forward to you interrogated to message you to say you fucker? no not at all and you know what it is I think the cartel feels sorry for me and I tell this to people I think they feel sorry for me because they knew what I didn't know and I almost feel like a lot of these cartel members love talking to me because for once in their life they actually felt hurt and I tell this in interviews all the time I was not seen as a threat because I was collecting information from people who were ready to talk all my guys were always ready to talk because they were trying to make a deal with the government what was your own family saying? oh my god my poor family my dad and my mom were probably I describe it as frozen in time whenever I told my father I felt like he just his face just turned white because he's like how the fuck did this happen? he has not spoken to him in 3 years that's how he doesn't respect them at all he could not believe it it's like in what world does this happen? yeah it's kind of movie like I mean it sounds like a movie right? yeah and how's life now? life is good, life is really good as you see I'm traveling and working on second book and now I've got put on 2 documentaries because I'm now an executive producer I'm a motivational speaker Forbes just published me I'm about to go on TED Talk so it's been like a whole 180 and it's easy for me to talk about it now and I think a lot of women I literally left this lavish lifestyle with my kids but the smart thing about me was having him sign that authorization because when he signed that authorization he was pretty much giving me permission to talk about this entire story and any project that came off that story they cannot touch it monetarily wise so how did you pack the PCs up then? I just had to as a mother you just have to be strong for your kids instinct you know like the lioness when somebody is trying to mess with their cubs they turn into something they're not just like you said, if you need to kill you will kill so you carry a gun in shit as well? yeah, I carry a gun I love that shit it's so funny I was just talking to my friend and says here you can't even carry a knife in your car you know and it's crazy but you know in Texas everyone has guns everybody has guns even the old little ladies have them in their little bags why is that? the laws can anybody get a gun? anybody can get a gun, you can go to Walmart and get a gun you can go to the corner store and get a gun a BB gun, a taser all types of guns silencers are not illegal you can get a silencer and kill somebody nobody hears it and what about licenses? you can get a license to carry and the process is very simple as long as you're not a felon you can get a gun but it's very accessible to get guns even if you don't have a license you can just go and get a gun somebody can buy you a gun for you and what if you get caught with a gun with no license? then obviously you can go to jail for it but they have to stop you for a reason so they can't just pull you over? no, they can't just pull you over I know I was just talking to my friend they have to have reasons to pull you over and then in fact they don't know their laws they have to have probable cost to go through your car because technically your car is your private property so when they say sir step out of the car you don't have to if you don't want to you're okay to just see it acting suspicious and they just fucking say it out and now drugs are marijuana is legal in some states and not legal in others so all these people that are in jail for these drug related crimes marijuana crimes are sitting in jail and they get them out of prison so because now you can smoke marijuana in Illinois, California there's all these different states how is the prison system in America as overpopulated as they say? let me tell you not only is it overpopulated these motherfuckers are getting PhDs in school are in prison you have a place to live a place to eat a place to have free education a place to be in jail there's people in jail making millions of dollars doing online businesses and what not and you know why? because all you have is time and you have all these resources there's people coming out of prison with PhDs and lawyer degrees because all you have is time it's crazy but you know in Texas we're still killing people because there are certain states where the death penalty is still active or it's been abolished Texas we're killing them left and right how many people? I think they say about 30 people get killed in the state of Texas a day is probably more so Huntsville is probably 2 hours north of where I live and they probably kill the most there because the death penalty is still alive in Texas why do the Americans give sentences like 180 years 140 years what is the meaning behind that? there is no meaning to be honest with you it's just for paperwork so that and really for the family you're not going to live 100 years all you have to say is life in prison but it's paperwork for me it's paperwork the guy that killed my friend he was supposed to be dead right now but in 2006 the governor of Illinois abolished the death penalty so he's sitting on death row forever until he dies in prison never gets out but he was supposed to be dead what about people who are innocent thrown and convicted how bad is that in America? I would say it's bad and I would say it definitely goes with the people of color minorities because it's easier to throw something on a minority than it is to a white person in my opinion but there's still instances out there where people are wrongfully accused but I think somebody needs to be accused and somebody needs to take the fall for a violent crime so as long as somebody takes the fall then things are okay but it's not okay for the person that didn't do it how bad is racism in America? I would say it's really bad it's really bad because crime has gone up drug dealing has gone up human trafficking has gone up when things around us get bad people's vices and addictions get worse and so drug trafficking human trafficking and murders and all that is at an all time high including suicides because it's becoming harder to sustain the lifestyle that we had before is there much suicides in prison in America? yeah how many gangs are in these prisons? oh my goodness I think the question is who's not in what gangs are not in I think gangs have so much power and it's organized crime and people don't realize that oh they think this little small gang is just in the corners no these are big organized entities it's like new world mafia call it a gang call it mafia but it's organized crime it's in the prison outside the prison they're all interconnected it's fucked up in it though it's really fucked up like I said UK is pretty fucked up but the only thing here we don't have guns we have guns but you rarely see or hear someone getting shot oh over there think about it all those school shootings it's crazy how so many school shootings are happening but yet they don't have guns in the school system like the teachers should have guns I think the teachers should have guns the security doesn't have guns sometimes they're just little rent-a-cops without any guns they just run it around did you ever interrogate a school show I did I interrogated a young one that was considered a terrorist and most of the time like we go back to is being bullied being called certain names being disrespected feeling like they weren't part of something and the reason why they do these huge mass murders is so that they can go down in history bad attention is attention in any way or form so even if you're getting bad attention you're still getting attention and what it is is attention seeking all these kids want attention and if it means killing other kids they're gonna do it does computer games come into play with these people's mindsets they used to talk about it I don't know but again as a part of your playing computer games it's killing people and beating people up and blowing people up do you think that can play an effect on people's mindsets for sure because think about it if you go in there and you're doing this digitally all of this is processing through your brain I don't know if you've ever played a game like that but when you stop you're kind of like you're kind of shaky a little bit because you were doing all this stuff I think it gives them a grandiose feeling like if I could do it here I could do it out there for sure what was the terrorists like the terrorists I think are probably the most interesting I describe there's five different types of terrorists in my book but that was probably the biggest understanding that I understood because they talk about my first terrorist who was Muslim said to me when people commit suicide it's out of pain when we commit suicide it's out of victory and it blew my mind because when they kill other people and then commit suicide bomber they're doing it with honor and that's the different the difference was they weren't mentally in pain they were getting honor it's crazy though isn't it it's fucking crazy fucking hell America just as bad as the UK man Americans are like I say with the serial killers and these are proper some of them are fucking crazy they're very crazy and you know what it is why they're so popular though Netflix documentaries and do you think that can then people look up to these fucking crazy people I think so yeah because it all starts in the streets drug dealings starts in the streets drugs you know you start with like marijuana and then you move up to cocaine now the shit that's being sold in the streets the DEA has its own section called the diversion section where it's pharmaceuticals now there's drugs out there that are being made in tubs in China that will kill you if you take it and they put all types of shit in it so that you really trip and you really go crazy and now of course there's shrooms which are hallucinogens drugs are never ever gonna we are always gonna have a drug problem because there's always people with addiction and it's money involved and everybody has a price because humans are in pain we've get spicier which was fucking legal but it's it fucks people up they look like zombies they look like zombies and I think as humans we're experiment hunters and we're always try something especially if you're looking for guidance or something to take away the pain as long as there's addiction it drugs stimulate the US economy as much as people say oh the DEA where there's war on drugs no it's never gonna go away there's always gonna be a war on drugs as long as there's people addicted and as long there's money involved how bad there's homelessness in America it's bad it's really bad I know I don't know if you've noticed but it's probably the worst there's whole cities with homeless they started making little houses for the homeless out of trash cans like little because I was in LA it's really bad oh LA's the worst they used to pick people up from certain cities and then drop them off in LA crazy well you know what's happening now is all the illegal immigrants that are coming into the US they put them in cars they dump them off wherever so now you have busloads of immigrants that are just being dumped in you know New York Houston, San Antonio San Diego they just dump them out there let's talk Sean the second book can you say much about that yet I know you're still writing it but when's it coming out and is there gonna be a follow up to the first book yes so second book is called The Power of Forgiveness and it's a continuation of book one it starts with my federal investigation I went on there for seven weeks and the power of forgiveness now has turned into my signature Ted Talks speech because I needed to forgive my ex in order to recreate myself and really move on with my life so it's in the works it's coming and there will be a sequel to the movie the movie we are now going into production so the movie should be done sometime next year and it will be a big feature film so I'm excited good on yeah how important is forgiveness I think it's the most important because if you don't forgive yourself you can never forgive anybody that's done you wrong and how was it going and speaking on stages and doing talks and motivational speaking what sort of motivational stuff are you doing so right now I do women empowerment obviously mental health and then I do minority based but really the biggest thing is trauma and how I've literally turned trauma into resilience and I turned my entire life around and I now gained all this newfound knowledge of all these industries who would have thought three years ago if somebody said to me you're going to be in Forbes or you're going to be an executive producer I would have laughed but really is to teach women that even when the worst happens to you you can still pick up and recreate yourself why do you think men struggle more than women do you think suicide rates higher than men and as women I think men are taught to be physically strong and emotionally weak you cannot share your emotions because if you do you're considered weak and so what you do is you harbor a lot of emotions and it's hard it's hard being a man because you're taught that you have to be strong and men don't cry so I think you know you break down a lot of men break down and they just can't handle it see the people you interrogated did any of them ever change did you ever see changes in them where they started to see the world and how fucked up they were yeah I definitely think so because at the end of the day a lot of them were just doing it for money right and then they just get lost and sometimes you're in too deep and once you're in too deep there's no going back so yeah I think if we're talking about rehabilitation definitely and a lot of these people don't want to do what they're doing they just got involved in it and the money was good that's why you always say like whenever you're trying to leave a gang it's very difficult to leave sometimes with the cartel too there's only two ways out of the cartel one you die or two you become part of witness protection program is there a lot of snitches in America? yeah I think so yeah that's weak men mentality if you're in the game and you've got to stay strong but again people are too weak they can't do the proper thing yeah I think a lot of people just don't know how to process and they don't know how to deal with and you know we're not taught to deal with it a lot of people are they don't want to talk about their emotions and I think that's one of the things that has helped me a lot is I keep talking and talking and talking about it to the point where I laugh now now I laugh and I'm like wow I thought I was this big world-class interrogator and look what happened to me and I laugh about it because I'm like wow I thought I was hot shit look at this I'm married I'm married into the cartel as an agent and I didn't even see it it's funny man because anybody can be fucked over no matter how intelligent, how smart you think yeah I know there's men out there ah my girlfriend would never cheat or there's men that think they're strong they're getting the wool pulled over their eyes because everybody's got it if you're deviant enough because I've had my I don't really trust as much I'm learning as I got older to trust a bit more but there's people you think nah and then they're the ones you never thought it would come from man yeah the fuckers but everything's a lesson in life you see they're a lesson they're a blessing all we can do is just like you say laughter's the best medicine to think you know what I was in the past I was fucked over I got done but at least they became honest you've got to respect that as well they actually opened up the crazy thing is how and you know I still think about how did this happen right one and then two I'm like wow this is a really good fucking story it really is and I get to tell the story and I do have a worry and I say this in all the interviews that I do is my children because they're getting older and they're going to read the book and then now they're going to have to deal with what their father did and I have my kids in therapy you know even the therapist of my children read the book and she pulled me aside and was like holy fuck and I was like I know and she's like wow she's like we got a lot of work to do and I said yeah because these kids are going to grow up and they're going to have questions to their father why like why did you do this not only to me but to them like and then I'm sure he's going to say something around the lines of I wasn't thinking I wasn't thinking about her about you guys you can understand that because men don't really think either we don't really fucking think we just think of what we can get at that present moment sometimes he's probably not thinking about the damage it would have on his kids he genuinely probably isn't because how long could they have kept that mask on for the rest of his life do you know what I mean so maybe it's maybe he's new for a few years and the book's been his excuse to then drop the bomb do you know what I mean because it would have been thinking about it my own opinion as a man but sometimes men we do don't really think about the long term effects of your actions sometimes you know so it's possibly that he wasn't thinking even though listen you still have a conscious choice we get it but he's probably went through and fuck fuck say man I'm in deep now and he's probably thought about telling you many times I believe and I think that's just been this is my time now right and you know what this is crazy but I always think about this he held this for so long if I never if covid never happened and I was never approached to write the book he would have never told me so even if the book never sold and I still wrote the book it made a difference in my own household would you have been happy just in that life no because we are our relationship was already was already fucked in fact we were in therapy and the therapist said out loud I didn't but the therapist said you're lying you're holding something back what is it so the therapist was putting fire under his ass so I think that and the book coming out he had no choice like his conscious was literally just eating away at him so even out the baby was lying no it's crazy fucked up where do you go forward for the future you know I I'm excited for the future there's so much going on and now I'm being put on other projects you know who would have thought now I'm an executive producer I got put on two other documentaries and so now I get to do a whole different life and you know my children are well the book is doing well and I love speaking I love speaking and it was something that I never thought I would do so I always tell people no matter if you feel your life is over you get a chance to recreate yourself because I've been through hell and back and here I am it's weird doing it because they always say when one door closes another one opens it is a true saying yes so when people think there's no end sometimes that lesson that you're going through or that thing that you're going through other things happen and it's down to you to follow through and try to make it as positive as you can life is life it's never going to be fucking perfect we can never figure it out and all we can do is kind of get on with it where can people buy your book so Amazon and Audible and then Barnes & Nobles and really any store online but Amazon is the easiest way to find it for anybody that's watching it's maybe battling some trauma just now or have been for 10, 20, 30 years you know what trauma is like it's always there what advice would you have for them to try and face the trauma and overcome it yeah I would say process it talk to somebody if therapy is your thing talk to somebody that can hear you out but I think a lot of people dealing with trauma need to be heard it needs to come out of your brain and out into the open and it needs to be processed and dealt with if not it's just going to continue to kill you slowly but surely Angelica would you like to finish up on anything else? no it was great thank you for having me thank you for coming on I wish you all the best for the future like I say if you're looking for any actors for your movie just give me a shout to the Scottish Mexican we'll be there God bless you and thanks for coming on the show thank you