 Kraft presents The Great Gilder Sleeve. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kraft Cheese Company, makers of parquet margarine and a complete line of famous quality food products, presents Harold Perry as The Great Gilder Sleeve. Kraft brings you The Great Gilder Sleeve every week at this time. Written by John Whedon and Sam Moore, music by Claude Sweeten. The Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. During the holidays, you'll be greeting many old-time friends and acquaintances. And a real way to show your hospitality is to serve the foods they like. So spread good cheer among your guests by serving fresh bread rolls and muffins with delicious parquet margarine. This nutritious spread for America's bread, a favorite in millions of American homes, has a fresh, delicate flavor that's sure to satisfy. Parquet margarine is a spread you'll want to serve your family every day in the year because parquet is so high in food energy value, so dependable for vitamin A. In fact, Kraft guarantees every pound of parquet to contain 9,000 units of vitamin A. So tomorrow, buy this nourishing spread that's so delicious and satisfying. Ask for parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine. Kraft makes this nutritious spread for America's bread. Yes, Kraft makes parquet. How do we find The Great Gilder Sleeve at this merry Christmas tide? Well, not so merry. Well, all the rest of Summerfield is giddy with good feeling and holiday cheer. Over the Gilder Sleeve household hangs a pawl, a thread of a lawsuit, a suit for breach of promise by a lady he once admired, prosecuted by a friend he trusted. All the infamy of woman, the ingratitude of man, so heavily do they weigh upon him that he's been unable to give a single thought to Christmas, which is only two days off. This seems to be a matter of some concern to Leroy. What do you think he's planning to do, Marge? Just skip Christmas this year? He wouldn't do that. I don't know. Eat your breakfast, Leroy. Gosh, two days before Christmas and we haven't even got a tree. You don't think he's been buying a lot of stuff on the sly and hiding it someplace? No, I know all the hiding places. Who wants Christmas anyway? It won't be any fun. Gosh, you're as bad as he is, Miss Gloomy Puss. Well, if you ever worried about anybody besides yourself, you'd be worried too. What good is it gonna do to worry? She's gonna sue him, she's gonna sue him. Leroy, here comes your uncle. I'm cheering him up. Yes, let's. Don't do anything to annoy him, Leroy. Me annoy him? Are you kidding? Yep, as I was saying, it's only two days till Christmas. Now, Marge, only two days till Christmas. Oh, hi, Uncle. Good morning, everybody. Good morning, Uncle Darling. Mr. Gilles, what would you like for breakfast? I'll fit you anything you like. We're in a position to offer fried eggs, boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, poached eggs, shared eggs. What would you like? It better be eggs. I also got oatmeal. Well, it doesn't matter, Bertie, anything. A few prunes, maybe. Prunes? Is it like that? Yeah, prunes and a little tea and toast. Things aren't sitting too well with me these days, Bertie. Poor Mr. Gilles. Uncle, I'm sorry. Oh, don't mind me. Well, only two days till Christmas. Hey, Uncle Leroy. I'm only trying to cheer him up. Two days? Is that all it is? Yep, two days. What do you know? I got all my Christmas shopping done, too. Great me. I got a present for everybody. I wonder what I'll be getting this year. Christmas? Well, I suppose it's time I was doing something about it. Only somehow I can't seem to get up any enthusiasm. Oh, don't let's bother about Christmas this year, Uncle Mort. We know how you feel. Well, you're a very sweet girl, my dear, and very understanding. Me, too. If anything special is here, anything at all will be okay. Any little thing. Anything. Front door. I'll go, my dear Pax. You sit down. It might not. What? Is Mr. Gilles' leave in, Bertie? Well, just a minute. I'll ask him. John Choker, how can he have the nerve to come over here? Now, my dear... Mr. Gilles' leave is the judge out there. Shall I tell him you ain't in? No, Bertie. I might as well face it. Well, children, I guess this is it. At least when this is over, we'll know the worst. I'll go the judge into my study, Bertie. Yes, sir. No, wait a minute. Yes? First, I think you children better run upstairs, out of the way. I won't say anything out. Well, I will. If I see that judge, Choker, I'll tell him exactly what I think of him. I'll handle the judge, my dear. Think you better run along upstairs. You too, Leroy. This may be a little unpleasant. Now, judge... Gilles, I suppose you think it a little strange of me coming over here like this. Nothing you could do would surprise me anymore, judge. And before you do it, I want to say this. You got me into all this. I know. You came over here and asked me to help you propose to that girl. I know. You gave me a lot of talk about how a friend should help a friend, how John Alden helped Miles Standish with Priscilla. I know, I know. Well, let me ask you this. Did Priscilla turn around and sue John Alden? Did she? And did Standish help her? Well, I'm afraid the sad fact is, Gilly, that our little friend DeLores is no Priscilla. And you're no Miles Standish. Well, let her sue. Go ahead, draw up the papers. Hire the witnesses, bribe the jury. I don't care. She can't hang anything on me. Can she? Gilly, believe me. This whole episode has been most distasteful to me. Sure, sure. This hurts you more than it does me. Baloney, you'd sue your own grandmother. Oh, Gilly, I'm your friend. Remember? All these years? Why, we, we've played golf together. Never mind the crocodile tears. I mean it. Why, I'd cut off my right arm. You're left-handed. Well, I... Cut off both arms before I'd accept a case against my old friend. Oh, sure. Say that again, Judge. You didn't take the case? You turned her down? Well, Gilly, she has no case. What do you know? No case. Woman's got no case. This isn't a trick, Judge. This isn't a booby trap. Oh, Gilly, how can you say that? You sure she's got no case? You think I'd have turned her down if she had? Horace, you're a friend. I want to take this opportunity of wishing you a very Merry Christmas. And a Merry Christmas to you, Throckmorton. By George, it is a Merry Christmas. A Merry Christmas, Horace. Merry Christmas, Gilly. Merry Christmas, everybody. Happy New Year. Oh, what's happening? Merry Christmas, my boy. Well, you woke up just in time. What do you mean? My Christmas is only two days off, and the stores are closed on Sunday. Oh, my goodness, and I haven't done a thing about it. Throckmorton, where are you going? Leroy, me lad. Bring me me reindeer. Yeah. Will there be anything else, sir? Isn't that cute? A regular little train. Will there be anything else? Well, let me see. We got the magic set, the wood burning set, and the bomb site, and the... Careful with that pop gun, Sonny. That will be all there? Yeah, let me think. If I got enough for Marjorie, that Marjorie's my niece. Say, I'd like to show you something I bought her. I'd like to get your opinion. Do you mind? Oh, not at all. Oh, there's a lady calling you. Huh? Who? Well, I was just showing this young lady here what I bought for Marjorie. This sweater. Oh, it's adorable. Pink. It's got buttons, too. You can wear them up the front or up the back, the girl said. Oh, she'll love it. Well, I'll be right back with your parcel, sir. Huh? Oh, thank you. Oh, it's so nice to see you again, Trock Mountain. I could swear you've been hiding. Well, I'm... I'm back in circulation again, Leela. And by George, Leela, I've never seen you looking better. Oh, thank you. Yes, sir. Christmas is put color in your cheeks or something and sparkle in your eyes. Oh, I love Christmas, don't you? It's a greatest day in the air. Barn up. Say, how about coming over to my house tomorrow night? Christmas Eve. We'll celebrate. Just the family. You know, popcorn, candied apples and stuff. And I'm getting in a whole ton of mistletoe. Why, Trock Mountain, whatever fall. Yeah. Bye, George. If there's any of it around here, I'd show you what for. And Trock Mountain. Oh, here are your parcels, sir. Oh, thanks, miss. Well, gotta be going. Million things to do. Don't forget tomorrow night, Leela. Come early. We'll have more fun and more down in mistletoe. Greetings, Floyd. Greetings of the season. Well, if it ain't Father Christmas. Hi, Commissioner, come right in. I can't stay, Floyd. I'm in the midst of my Christmas shopping. Yeah, well, I ain't even got a round of mine. Keep putting it off, you know what I mean? Had nobody to take care of but the wife anyway. Well, Christmas comes once a year, Floyd. I think we ought to make enough... Oh, not that I'm complaining you understand. She's okay, Ruthie is. Just got her little ways, that's all. Now, you take like last year. I was sore about something. Now, forget what. So I wasn't going to get her nothing. Well, sir, the day before Christmas, didn't a Salvation Army band have to set up in front of the shop here and play hymns all afternoon. On the way home that night, I laid out 11 bucks for an electric iron. Of course, the next day, I could have kicked myself. That's the trouble with me. I'm soft-hearted. Floyd, the only trouble with you is you're human. I wouldn't be ashamed of it. By the way, if you're not doing anything tomorrow night, I'd like to have you drop over to my house. You know, say, Merry Christmas, just the family. Well, thanks, Commissioner. I'd like to do that. Glad to be on my way now. Don't forget your wife, Floyd. Get her something nice. You know, women are sentimental about Christmas. Well, I guess I'm kind of sentimental myself, like this morning now. She got up before I did and cooked me a nice big breakfast of kippet herrings. You know, on the way down to the shop, I had half an ocean to stop in somewhere and buy her a bottle of perfume. I might do it yet. Well, I think she'd like that, Floyd. Yeah, I might even buy one of them sets. You know, where they got the perfume and the bath powder and it. Oh, there I go again. Just a sucker for kippers. Well, it's a long, Commissioner. Yeah, so long, Floyd. What are you doing Christmas Eve? Christmas Eve? Well, Mrs. Peavey and I usually just spend Christmas Eve together, you know. Sort of a family custom. Well, I don't want to upset any family customs, Peavey. I just thought if you weren't doing anything. Well, we don't do anything really. We just sit there and listen to the radio. We like to hear the Christmas programs and we usually go through our Christmas cards together. You know, all the friends who've been kind enough to remember us, people we haven't seen for a long time, a lot of them. Mrs. Peavey has a little drink she makes. Mulled cider. It's very good. That's about all we do. Not very exciting, but it's kind of nice. And long about 10 o'clock we just hang up our stockings and go to bed. Peavey, are you still hang up your stockings? No, yes. Yeah, but who fills them? Mr. Yellowsleeve, who do you think fills them? Peavey, you're not going to tell me you hear jingle bells in the night. Oh, no, I wouldn't say that. No, I wait until after Mrs. Peavey is asleep and then I sneak downstairs and fill her stocking myself. And she gets up before I'm awake in the morning and fills mine. Just a little game we play. Bye, George Peavey. I'll bet you have more fun than anybody. Well, now I... I don't know, maybe I do. Well, try to come around to the house if you can, Peavey. You'll be glad to see you. Well, I got them home anyway. I'll pick them up. Mr. Yellowsleeve, it sure looks like Christmas around here all of a sudden. Quiet, Birdie. I don't want the children to hear. That's why I came around to the kitchen door. Yes, sir, I won't tell. Well, I think I got everything. If I didn't, it's just too bad. It sure looks like you got plenty. Oh, wait a minute. What? Oh, my goodness. Why didn't I remember? Of all things, why did I have to forget that? Forget what? Oh, that spoils everything. What good is Christmas without a turkey? No turkey, Mr. Yellowsleeve. No turkey. I clean forgot it, Birdie. That was the last thing I said to myself. Get a turkey. Darn it. Well, I'll tell you, Mr. Yellowsleeve. Tell you what you do. There's nothing we can do, Birdie. The stores are closed. It's too late. You go look in the icebox. What? In the icebox? Uh-huh. Birdie, how long has he been laying there? Oh, for a couple of days. I had him set over on approval. How's that for a turkey, Mr. Yellowsleeve? Birdie, that's not a turkey. That's a B-29. And when you get that bomb bay stuffed with chestnut dressing, oh, brother, Merry Christmas. We'll be with us again in just a few seconds. If Christmas shopping has made a big dent in your family budget, you're probably thinking right now of ways to economize. Well, that economy can start right with your food budget. And here's a timely suggestion. Buy economical parquet margarine, the delicious spread for bread that's made by Kraft. Parquet is a top-notch energy food, one of the very best. Parquet is fortified by Kraft with vitamin A, 9,000 units to every pound. And parquet has a flavor that's truly delicious, a flavor that's fresh, delicate, satisfying. So for an economical spread that's both delicious and highly nourishing, buy and serve parquet. P-A-R-K-A-Y, parquet margarine made by Kraft. Remember to ask for the Kraft quality spread, and that's parquet. Now let's get back to the great Gilder Sleeve. It's Christmas Eve at last in Summerfield, and it couldn't be a prettier one. There's a beautiful clean blanket of snow covering the streets and sidewalks and yards and roofs, and a few flakes still drifting down in the twilight. And in Gilder Sleeve's house, it is just finished decorating the Christmas tree, and they've hung their stockings by the fireplace. A neat black sock for Gilder Sleeve, a pale rayon stocking for Marjorie, and a huge laundry bag of a golf stocking that Leroy had borrowed for the occasion. Well, well, well, looks Christmas-y, doesn't it? Oh, it's sweet. The tree always smells so good, too. Yeah. Could I eat one of the candy canes, Uncle? You know the rule, my boy. No nibbling on candy canes will have to breakfast Christmas morning. Start eating them now. We'll have no decorations left. I could just take a little bite off one at the back. Who'd notice? Let's stick to our rule, shall we? Okay. We got gingerbread for supper anyway. Great. Bye, George. You can't beat Christmas. The old Christmas spirit. You can feel it in the air. Oh, I felt it all afternoon. It does something to people. It certainly does. Happy little family. Stockings all hung by the chimney with care. Bye, George. Let's read that. What do you say? Aw, that kid stuff. That's right. And I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve. Is the book still over here with the fairy tale? That's where it belongs. Now, leave it. Be nice. If Uncle Mort wants to read it, let's not spoil it for him. Oh, for corn sake. He reads it every year. Never mind. Shut up and be nice. Okay. I can be just as nice as you. Oh, here it is. Same old book, same old pictures. Fellow wearing a nightcap. That shows how old this book is. I sit down, Leroy, Marjorie. It's about got time to read this before supper. All settled? I'm fine. Leroy? Put the monk to me, Uncle. All right, my boy. It was the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. Oh, excuse me, Uncle. I just thought of something. What is it, my boy? If you couldn't get those skates at Hogan's, there are a pair down at Hoyt's, they're open till 10 o'clock. Oh, well, I'll make a note of it. Let's see. There are a pair in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The children were nestled all snug in their beds, that's you and Marjorie Leroy, while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads. Sugar plums. Mama in her kerchief, and I in my cap. That's the nightcap. I just settled our brains for a long winter's nap. When out of the lawn, there arose such a clatter. Excuse me, Miss. Yes, please. What is it, Bertie? I forgot to ask you. Are you expecting anyone in this evening? Oh, no, Bertie. Just the family. Yes, I just thought I'd ask. Uh, now I think of it. I asked Mrs. Ransom to drop over after supper. Yes, sir. Oh, and I may have said something to Judge Hooker, and Miss Goodwin. Well, I'm glad I brought it up. I guess it'll be the usual Christmas Eve. Well, Christmas comes, but once a year, Bertie. Now, let's see. Where were we? Oh, yes. Out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter. I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow gave the luster of midday to objects below. When what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer. By George, that's real poetry. With a little old driver so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. That's Santa Claus, children. Of course. Who doesn't know that? Go ahead, Aunt. More rapid than eagles, his coursers they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name. Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen, on Comet, on Cupid, on Dunder and Blitzen. To the top of the... Oh, the phone. I'll get it. Oh, just a minute. It's Piggy, Leroy. Tell him I can't talk to him now. I'm busy. Go ahead, Aunt. He'll call you back, Piggy. All right, Uncle Mort. Oh, let's see. To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall. Now dash away, dash away, dash away all. Yeah, that's right. And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of each little hoof. Uh-oh. There's a page been lost here. That's okay. As I draw in my head and was turning around down the chimney, St. Nicholas came with a bong. Well... A bungalow toy, he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. His eyes how they twinkled, his dimples how merry, his cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry. His rollin' mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard on his chin was as white as a snow. The stump of his pipe... That's the next page. The stump of his pipe, he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke had encircled his head like a wreath. He had a drool face and a little round belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly. Just like you, Uncle. Well, you think so? Look, Mark, see if you shake. No more than anybody else's. Yeah, thank you, my dear. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work and filled all the stalls. Then turned with a jerk, and laying his finger side of his nose and giving a nod up the chimney, he rose. Welcome back, would you be there? Be there in a second, Bertie. He sprang to his sleigh to his team, gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a whistle. But I heard him explain, and he rode out of sight. Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night. Well, by George. That's a great book. None better. Oh, I love it. What do you say, Leigh? Well, great for kids. Well, come on, kids. Let's eat. Let's all go, my boy. United we stand. Come on, Marjorie. I'm coming. How late can we stay up, Uncle? As long as you're good, Leigh. Bottle nine o'clock, whichever is sooner. Everybody? Merry Christmas. Come on in, Leela. I'd better leave my glasses here on the porch. They're pretty snowy. You want me to hold those packages, Mrs. Lancel? Well, now that's very thoughtful of you, Leela. Thank you. Now, this package is for you, Marjorie. Oh, thank you. And this one's yours, Leigh Roy. That's what I figured. And the other one is for you, Throckmod. Well, Leela, for me? Mm-hmm. Thank you. I got something for you, too, Leela. Come here. Well, I can take it later. Put these packages under the treachery. I'll take some. This is for you, Leigh Roy. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. And this one's yours, Leigh Roy. That's what I figured. And the other one is for you, Throckmod. Oh, Leela, for me? Thank you. packages under the tree children I want to show Mrs. Ransom something okay come on right here Lila why look up oh oh here come over here and I'll show you Leroy dear earlier you just finished stuffing in that last piece of gingerbread not five minutes ago okay here take Mrs. Ransom's coat and hang it up oh my you shouldn't have a crime or the Marriard I'll answer don't know all of us united we stand come on Lila I'm on the right and I open the door we'll all say Merry Christmas all together ready Merry Christmas! My goodness gracious! Come on in PB. Thank you Mr. Gelderstein but I can't stay. Oh good evening Mrs. Ransom. Oh do come in for a minute Mr. Peavey you ought to see the tree anyway. Just for a moment. A little Christmas remembrance for your family Mr. Gelderstein. Box of chocolates my best friend. Well that's fine PB but you shouldn't have told us no surprise. I'm pretty hard to fool anybody with chocolate. Let's open them what do you say uncle as long as we know what they are. Leroy you amazed me you must be ninety percent stomach. Look who's talking. Leroy. Well how about the chocolate and not getting any better in the box are they Mr. Peavey. I think I'll stay out of this Leroy if you don't mind. Mr. Peavey's pretty cagey. Go ahead and open them Leroy but only one piece for you understand. Okay. Something even nicer look. Well I. Merry Christmas. You're just in your happy new year. Leela you ought to be ashamed of yourself brazenly kissing a married man. Well no I wouldn't say that. I'm flat able to defend myself Mr. Gelderstein. That's the spirit Peavey. I noticed he offered their little resistance. Well I take my graces I don't know what to say. Get somebody else off. Come on Leroy Marjorie. United we stand Peavey just like we did for you. Now all together when I open the door. Merry Christmas. We're doing that to everybody Eve come on in. Well this is wonderful. Hello Mrs. Branson Mr. Peavey. It's awfully nice to see you Miss Goodwin. Compliments of your season Miss Goodwin. Thank you hello Leroy Marjorie. Hi let me hang up your coat. Thank you. Now into the power everybody we'll have some fun. Oh really Mr. Gelderstein I've got to be around. I know Peavey but you can at least see the tree. Go on look at it. What is it I haven't. Oh Mark Morton I might have known. Oh she sees everything. Come on Mark Morton let's join the others. I've got little presents for the children but I thought I could bring them over tomorrow. Anytime. It's pretty nice having a vacation for a change isn't Miss Goodwin. Are you enjoying it too Leroy. Are you kidding. Must be kind of nice to be a school teacher though sometimes. Just like having a lot of children. It is nice. You know I wish Mrs. Peavey could have come over with me. This is the kind of Christmas we miss Mr. Gelderstein. Why don't you go get her Peavey. Oh no I don't think so maybe next year. Oh we'd love to have her. Maybe we. Hey what's that. Somebody sing outside. Oh look it's a Jolly Boy. Oh they sure need us Peavey. Oh brother. Merry Christmas Jolly Boy. Hey you're in great voice tonight Judd. Well cheese. Nice to have a friendly visit from the police. Well thank you Miss. Come on in Floyd letting in the call. Come on come on come on Floyd. Hey hey hey fellas hey mistletoe. Oh look there's some more over there and in the corner. Commissioner you got enough mistletoe here to start a first class brawl. Well let me catch you kissing my girl now Floyd. Okay which one is yours. Whichever one I catch you kissing. Fine foul. Well who's gonna play the piano for the next carol. I'll play if you want me to. Oh that'll be fine lady. Oh oh chief this is Miss Goodwin. Chief Gates of the Somerfield Police. How do you do. There's that side you're talking about yelling. It's in the dining room but let's sing one carol first which will it be. How about Joy of the World. Joy of the World is a pitiless I can sing alto. Oh I like that one I'll just sing the A. Good enough Joy of the World boys. Hey you got it there Eve. Yes I do. Come on Marjorie. You get in on this too birdie. By George there's nothing like Christmas. Second verse. Now wait a minute I've got an idea. What is it. Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone in the world could join in and sing with us. What are you talking about commissioner. Well I know we can't really do it. Not tonight anyway. But if you look and see how happy we all are here singing together and then you think of all the people who can't get together this Christmas. Well the only excuse for the kind of suffering that's going on all over the world is if we can make sure it never happens again. What I'm trying to say is let's all sing anyway. You people in Massachusetts, Virginia, Idaho, Iowa, Colorado, California and everywhere in army camps and on ships at sea. Let's sing the way we used to when we were at home together. Let's hope that before us a very long all the peoples of the world will be able to join in with us. Good night ladies and gentlemen. Merry Christmas and God bless you.