 19 My Daughters The room to which Judge Burnham presently escorted his bride was very unlike that parlor. As she looked about her, on the exquisite air of beauty which prevailed, and the evidences of refined and cultured taste scattered with lavish hand, she was touched with the thought that her tastes had been understood and remembered in each minute detail. "'How very lovely this is,' she said, as her foot rested on the soft velvet carpet, with its wild wood vines trailing in rich colors over the floor. "'I knew you would like it,' Judge Burnham said with a gratified smile. It reminded me of you, and indeed the entire room has seemed to me to be full of your presence. I enjoyed arranging it. I think I could have gratified your tastes in regard to the rest of the house, Ruth, if you had let me.' "'Oh, I know you could,' she answered earnestly. It was not that I did not trust your taste, and perhaps I made a mistake, but I meant it right, and you must help me to bring right out of it.' She did not realize it, but this little concession to his possible better judgment helped her husband wonderfully. "'We will make it come right,' he said decidedly. "'And now I will leave you to rest a little while I go down and discover whether this house is inhabited today.' With the door closing after him seemed to go much of Ruth's courage. This exquisite room was a rest to her beauty-loving eyes and heart, but it contrasted most strangely with the life below stairs. And when she thought of that room below, it reminded her of all there was yet to meet and endure, and of the newness of the way, and the untried experiments which were to be made, and of her own weakness, and her heart trembled and almost failed her. Yet it must not fail her. She must get through.' Well for Ruth that she knew in what place to seek it, instead of taking a seat in the delicately carved and gracefully upholstered easy chair, which invited her into its depths, she turned and knelt before it. Perhaps, after all, there are more dangerous experiences than those which, in coming to a new home, to take up new responsibilities, lead us to feel our utter weakness and bring us to our knees crying to the strong for strength. Judge Burnham's entrance, nearly an hour afterward, found Ruth resting quietly in that easy chair, such a comb on her face and such a light in her eyes, that he stopped on the threshold and regarded her with a half-pleased, half-odd expression, as he said. You look wonderfully rested. I think my easy chair must be a success. Will you come down now to a farmhouse supper? Please don't see any more of the strange things than you can help. I tried to get the girls to come up, and so avoid some of the horrors of a meeting below stairs, but they are too thoroughly alarmed to have any sense at all, and I had to abandon that plan. Poor things, said Ruth compassionately. Am I so very formidable? It must be dreadful to feel frightened at people. I can't imagine the feeling. He surveyed her critically, then laughed. He had some conception of what a vision she would be to the people downstairs. She had not changed her travelling dress, which was of rich dark silk, fitted exquisitely to her shapely form, and the soft laces at throat and wrist, brightened only by a knot of ribbon of the most delicate tint of blue, completed what, to Judge Burnham's cultured taste, seemed the very perfection of a toilet. You do not frighten me, he said. I can manage to look at you without being overwhelmed. I shall not answer for anybody else. Ruth, I have obeyed you to the very letter. In a fit of something very like vaccination, I resolved not to lift a finger to change the customs of the house, leaving you to see them according to your desire as they were. The result is we haven't even a table to ourselves tonight. The whole of that insufferable family, cat and doll, are ready to gather with us around their hospitable board. I am sorry now that I was so very literal in my obedience. I am not, Ruth said, and her tone was quiet and had a sound in it which was not there when he left her. It served to make him regard her again curiously. Then they went downstairs to the kitchen. Ruth was presently seated at the long table, alarmingly near to the stove which had cooked the potatoes that graced the evening meal. Boiled potatoes served in their original coats. To be eaten with two tined steel forks, the same forks expected to do duty in the mastication of a huge piece of peach pie, unless indeed she did as her husband's daughters were evidently accustomed to doing and ate it with her knife. There were at that table farmer Ferris in his shirt sleeves, himself redolent of the barn in the cowhouse. His wife in a new stiff blue and red plaid calico most manifestly donned to do honor to the occasion. Two boys belonging to the Ferris household, in different degrees of shock-headed, out-of-the-elbow disorder, and the aforesaid apparition in pink calico, the gray cat still hugged to her heart and eating milk from the same saucer at intervals. And lastly the two daughters of the house of Burnham. Those daughters, the strongest emotion which Ruth founded in her heart to have for them on this first evening, was pity. She had never imagined anything like the painful embarrassment which they felt. They sat on the edges of their chairs, and when engaged in trying to eat, tilted the chairs forward to reach their plates, and rested their elbows on the table to stare when they dared to raise their frightened eyes to do so. Their father had performed the ceremony of introduction in a way which was likely to increase their painful self-consciousness. Girls, he said, and his voice sounded as if he were summoning them to a trial by jury. This is Mrs. Burnham. And they had stood up and assayed to make little bobbing curtsies after the fashion of fifty years ago until further pressed by Mrs. Ferris, who said with a conscious laugh. For the land's sake, girls, do go and shake hands with her. Why, she is your ma now! But Judge Burnham's haughty voice had come to the rescue. If you please, we will excuse them from that ceremony, Mrs. Ferris, he had said. Mrs. Burnham, please be seated. And he had drawn back her chair with the courtesy of a gentleman and the inward fury of a lion. In truth Judge Burnham was ashamed of and angry with himself, and I am glad of it. He deserved to be. Instead of asserting his authority and making this meeting and this first meal together strictly a family matter and managing a dozen other little details which he could have managed and which would have helped wonderfully, he had angrily resolved to let everything utterly alone and bring Ruth thus sooner and more decisively into seeing Raleigh and the utter antennableness of her position. But something in the absolute calm of her face this evening, a calm which had come to her since he left her in their room alone, made him feel it to be more than probable that she would not easily nor soon abandon the position which she had assumed. The ordeal of supper was gotten through with easier than Ruth had supposed possible, though truth to tell, the things which would have affected most persons the least were the hardest for her to bear. She had not entirely risen above the views concerning refinement which she had expressed during the early days of Chautauqua life and to eat with a knife when a fork should be used and to have a two-tined steel fork instead of a silver one and to have no napkin at all were to her positive and vivid sources of discomfort, sources from which she could not altogether turn away even at this time. I am not sure, however, that, in the trivialities, she did not lose some of the real trials which the occasion certainly presented. Directly after the supper was concluded, with but a very poor attempt at eating on Ruth's part, Judge Burnham led the way to that dreadful parlor, interposing his stern voice between the evident intention of the daughters to remain in the kitchen. I desire that you come immediately to the parlor. As for Ruth and himself, they did not retreat promptly enough to escape Mrs. Ferris's stage whisper. For the land-sake girls do go quick. I'm afraid he will bite you next time. I wonder if she is as awful cross as he is. She looks it and more, too. In the midst of all the tumult of thought which there might have been, Ruth found herself trying to determine which was the most objectional expression of the two, Mrs. Judge Erskine's favorite, land alive, or Mrs. Ferris's, for the land's sake. Where do Americans get their favorite expletives anyway? She had not much time to query, for here were those girls sitting each on the edge of one of the solemn cane-seated chairs and looking as thoroughly miserable as the most hard-hearted could have desired. What was she to say to them, or would it be more merciful to say nothing at all? Ruth felt an unutterable pity for them, how miserably afraid they were of their father, how entirely unnatural it seemed. And it could not be that he had ever been actually unkind to them. It was just a system of severe letting alone combined with the unwisdom of the Ferris tongue which had developed such results. Between the intervals of trying to say a few words to them, words which they answered with solemn, yes, mams, Ruth tried to study their personal appearance. It was far from prepossessing. Yet remembering Susan and the marvelous changes which the ivy-green dress fitted to her form had accomplished, wondered how much of their painful awkwardness was due to the utter unsuitability of their attire and the uncouth arrangement of their quaffures. The elder of the two was tall and gaunt, with pale reddish-yellow hair, an abundance of it which she seemed to think served no purpose but to annoy her and was to be stretched back out of the way as far and as tightly as possible. Her shoulders were bent and stooping, her pale blue eyes looked as though when they were not full of dismayed embarrassment they were listless and her whole manner be tokened that of a person who was a trial to herself and to everyone with whom she came in contact. People with such forms and faces almost invariably managed to fit themselves out in clothing which shows every imperfection to advantage. This girl was no exception. Indeed, she seemed to have succeeded in making an exceptional fright of herself. Her dress was of the color and material which seemed to increase her height and bore the marks of a novice in dressmaking about every part of it. To increase the effect, it was much too short for her and showed to immense disadvantage a pair of strong, thick country boots which might have been excellent for tramping over plowed ground in wet weather. The younger sister was a complete contrast in every respect. Her form can only be described by that expressive and not very elegant word, chunky. From her thick, short hair, down to her thickly shod feet, she seemed to be almost equally shapeless and graceless. Fat red cheeks, small round eyes shining out from layers of fat, large ill-shaped hands, remarkably large feet, apparently, or else her shoes were, and arrayed in a large platted dress of red and green, which was much too low in the neck and much too short-waisted and was absolutely uncouth. Swiftly, silently, Ruth took in all these details. And she took in also what her husband had never known, that a large portion of this uncouthness was due to the outward adornings or disguisings which is what persons devoid of taste sometimes succeed in making of their dress. In the midst of her musings there came to her a new idea. It dawned upon her in the form of a question. Why should she, a lady of fashion and of leisure and of such cultured taste and acknowledged authority among her friends on all matters pertaining to the aesthetic, be in so marked a manner for the second time in her short life, brought face to face with that form of ill-breeding which troubled her the most. Not only face to face with it, but put in such a position that it was her duty to endorse it patiently and show kindly interest in the victims. Was it possible? And this thought flashed upon her that she had been wanting to make too much of this matter that she had allowed the lack of culture in these directions to press her too sorely. Now do you know that this was the first time such a possibility had dawned on Ruth Burnham? So insensible had been her yielding to the temptation which wealth and leisure brings to give too much thought and too high a place to these questions of dress and taste that as I say had not been conscious of any sin in that direction, while those who looked on at her life had been able to see it plainly in an exaggerated form. I suspect, dear friend, that you at this moment are the victim of some inconsistency which your next-door neighbor sees plainly, and which, possibly, injures your influence over her and you are not conscious of its development. Now that is a solemn thought as well as a perplexing one for what is to be done about it. Cleanse thou me from secret faults, prayed the inspired writer. May he not have meant those faults so secret that it takes the voice of God to reveal them to our hearts. At least to Ruth Burnham sitting there in that high-backed rocker looking at her husband's daughters, the thought came like the voice of God's spirit in her heart. She had come very near to that revealing spirit for the last two hours. Rather, he had made his presence known to her. She was in a hushed mood desiring to be led and she plainly saw that even this exhibition of uncouthness could be a discipline to her soul if she would but allow its voice. You are not to understand that she therefore concluded uncouthness and utter disregard of refined tastes to be necessary outgrows of Christian experience to be in the least necessary to a higher development of Christian life. She merely had a glimpse of what it meant to be in a state of using this world as not abusing it. The thought quickened her resolutions in regard to these neglected girls thus thrown under her care and, I have no doubt, that it toned her voice when she spoke to them. I believe it not irreverent to say that the very subject upon which she bore her, all unconsciously to herself, by that ever-present spirit to whom nothing that an immortal soul can say appears trivial because he sees the waves of influence which are stirred years ahead by the quiet words. Just what the two frightened girls expected from her would have been, perhaps, difficult for even themselves to explain. For years all their intercourse with their father had consisted in a series of irritated lectures delivered in a sharp key on his part and received in a frightened silence by them. He had been utterly disappointed with them in every respect and had not failed to show it and they had not failed to seek for sympathy by pouring the story of their grievances into Mrs. Ferris's willing ears. The result was that she had but increased their terror in and doubt of their father. Added to this she had all the ignorant superstition of her class in regard to step-mothers if indeed the views of this sort of people shall be called by no harsher name than superstition. The newcomer had been, during the last week, most freely discussed in the Ferris household and the result had been what might have been expected. Therefore it was with unfaithful amazement and with the demonstrations of prolonged stares that Ruth's first suddenly spoken sentence broke the silence which the others were feeling keenly. Your hair looks as though it would curl naturally. Did you ever try it? This to the elder girl whose whole face reddened under the astonishment produced by the query and who, as I said, could only stare for a moment than she said Yes, ma'am, I did once long time ago. And didn't you like the appearance? A more vivid blush as his laugh was the answer than she added Why, yes, well enough but it was such a bother and nobody to care. Oh, it is very little trouble Mrs. Burnham answered lightly when you understand just how to manage it I think natural curls are beautiful. End of chapter 19 Recording by Tricia G Chapter 20 of Ruth Urskine's Crosses This LibriVox recording is in the public domain Ruth Urskine's Crosses by Pansy Chapter 20 A Sister Needed Some vigorous planning was done that night which followed Ruth Burnham's introduction to her new home. It was not restless planning neither could it be said to be about new things for these things Ruth had studied every day since the first week of her engagement and the summer which was in its spring time then was fading now so she had thought before but something had given her thought new strength and force Ruth believed it to be that hour which she had spent alone on her knees she had spent many an hour before that alone on her knees but never had the power of the unseen presence taken such hold upon her as at that time she had felt her own powerlessness as Ruth Urskine had not been given to feeling it and you know it is man's extremity that is God's opportunity it was before the hour of breakfast that she commenced the process of developing some of her plans to her husband how long will it take to dispose of the fairest family she asked him and her voice was so calm so full of strength and conscious determination that it rested him it can be done just as soon as your genius your ability can bring it to pass he said laughing and I sincerely hope and trust that you will be brilliant and rapid in your display of genius but Judge Burnham ought they to have warning as we do with servants a week's warning I trust not I should not promise to endure a week of it oh they are prepared I broadly hinted to them that the mistress would want the house to herself the necessity of being here to welcome you it could have been managed before this they have their plans formed I believe and as soon as you want to manage without them I will make it for their interest to be in haste Ruth turned toward him with a relieved smile and an eager air could you manage then to make it to their interest to go before breakfast or shall we have to wait until that meal is over he laughed gaily your energy is refreshing he said especially when it is bestowed in such a worthy cause no I think we will have to wait until after breakfast but Ruth are you really an earnest do you actually mean to settle down here in this house as it is and what are you going to do about help and about well everything before she answered she came over and stood beside him slipping her hand through his arm and speaking in tender earnestness Judge Burnham I want you to understand me I feel that I may have seemed hard and cold and selfish perhaps I have been selfish in pushing my plan I think I have been but I did not intend it for selfishness I was and am led by what seems to be our duty yours and mine those girls of yours have been neglected I can see how you being a man would not know what to do at the same time I can see how I, being a woman can at least try to do many things and I am very eager to try you may call it an experiment if you will and if it is in your estimation in six months from now and utter failure I will give it up and do exactly as you propose there was a gleam of assurance in her eyes and he could see that she did not believe he would ever be called upon to follow his plans but something tender and pleading in her tone touched him and he said with feeling I begin to realize forcibly what has only come upon me in touches here too far that I have not done my duty by the girls I did not know what to do I used to study the question and try to plan it but I cannot tell you how utterly hopeless it seemed to me finally I gave it up I determined that nothing could ever be done but to support them and live away from them and long before I knew you I determined on that as my line of action so your resolution was a surprise to me an overwhelming one but perhaps you are right at least I will try to help you in whatever way I can to carry out your plans however wild they are and I begin to realize I will surely have some very wild ones but I promise allegiance good said Ruth with sparkling eyes I ask nothing better than that then we will proceed at once to business there is so much to be done that I don't feel like taking a wedding journey just now we can enjoy it so much more when we get our house in order there are certain things that I need to know at once first how much or how little I ought to be done to this house and and to everything in other words how much money am I to spend oh he said looking relieved I thought you were going to ask me what ought to be done to make the place habitable and really I hardly know where to commence I shall be termed to leave it in your hands as to money I think I may safely promise you what you need unless your ideas are more magnificent scale than I think I will give you my check this morning for a thousand dollars and when that is used you may come to me for as much more is that an answer to your question an entirely satisfactory one she answered him with shining eyes and they went down to breakfast with a sense of satisfaction which considering the surroundings and the marvelous calico's in which the daughters of the house appeared was surprising I don't see the way clear to results Judge Burnham said perplexedly as he and his wife walked on the piazza after breakfast and continued the discussion of ways and means if the fairest tribe vacate today as I have just intimated to the head of the family is extremely desirable what are you to do for help until such time as something competent in that line can be secured always supposing that there is no distance I remember what an experience you have been having in your father's house in the line of help oh well said Ruth brightly we had the smallpox you know that makes a difference they have excellent servants there now and indeed we generally have had my housekeeping troubles did not lie in that direction I have a plan I don't know what you will think of it surprised no I shall not he interrupted her to say I have gotten beyond the condition of surprise at anything which you may do or propose then she went on with her story I thought it all over last night and if she will do it I think I see my way clear and I am almost sure she will for really I never knew a more unselfish girl in my life I dare say her husband said regarding her with an amused air perhaps I might agree with you if you will enlighten me as to which of the patterns of domestic unselfishness you have in mind did she reign in your household since my knowledge of it began oh I am not speaking of hired help Ruth said and a vivid flush brightened her cheeks I was thinking of my sister it is her help I have in mind Susan and the woman who was next claimed and then was suddenly silent his face showed that after all she had surprised him there was much talk about it after that and their discussion finally ended in their taking passage in the mail wagon about which Judge Burnham had spoken the day before and jogging together to the train there was so much to be done that Ruth had not the patience to wait until another day besides their departure would give the Ferris family a chance to hasten their movements on the way to the cars Judge Burnham mentally resolved that his first leisure moments should be spent in selecting horses and a driver since he was to become a country gentleman whether he would or not it became him to look out for conveniences seated again in the train and made comfortable by her watchful husband Ruth took time to smile and look at the pictures through which she had gone during the less than 24 hours since she sat there before it seemed to her that she had lived a little lifetime and learned a great deal and it seemed a wonderful thing that she was actually going to Susan Erskine with a petition for help who could have supposed that she, Ruth Erskine would ever have reached such a period in her history and comfort. A great deal of thinking can be done in one night and Ruth had lain awake and gone over her ground with steady gaze and a determined heart. It surprised her that things had not looked plainer to her before. Why couldn't I have seen this way yesterday before I left home? She asked herself but the wonder was that she had seen it thus early. Very much surprised were the Erskine household to see their bride of less than 24 hours standing appear while they still lingered over their breakfast table. We live in the country you know was Ruth's composed explanation of the early advent. Country people are up hours before town people have stirred. I always knew that. Land a lie, said Mrs. Judge Erskine and then for a whole minute she was silent. She confided to Ruth long afterward that for about five minutes her heart was in her mouth for she surely thought they had quarreled and parted. Though I thought at the time, she explained, that if you had got sick of it already you wouldn't have come back together and have walked into the dining room in that friendly fashion. But then I remembered that you never did things like anybody else in this world and if you had made up your mind to come back home again I am sure to pick out a way of doing it that no other mortal would ever have thought of. I am going to my room, Ruth said presently, Judge Burnham I will hasten and be ready to go downtown with you in a very little while. Susan will you come with me please I want to talk to you. And Susan rose with alacrity a pleasant smile lighting her plain face. There was a sound of sisterliness in the tone which she had watched and waited for but rarely heard. I have come on the strangest errand, Ruth said, dropping into her own favorite chair as the door of her old room closed after them. I feel as if I were at least a year older than I was yesterday. I have thought so much. First of all Susan, I want to tell you something. I have found something. I have come close to Jesus. I mean he has come close to me. He has almost shown me himself. I don't know how to tell you about it and indeed I am not sure that there is anything to tell. But it is a great deal to have experienced. I seem to have heard him say come to me why do you struggle and plan and toss yourself about. Haven't I promised you rest? And Susan, I do believe he spoke to my heart. Why not? Why not indeed? said Susan when he has repeated the message so many times. Ruth I am so glad. Then Ruth ran rapidly from that subject to less important ones giving her sister a picture in brief of the new home closing with the sentence. Now I am in a dilemma. I can't keep any of the fairest family for an hour and I can't introduce new servants until things are in different shape and I can't get them into different shape Do you see what I am to do? Yes, said Susan with a bright smile. You need a sister, one who knows how to help in all household matters and yet who knows how to keep her tongue reasonably quiet as to what she found. I know how servants gossip some of them. That Rosie we had for a week tried to tell me things about Mrs. Dr. Blakeman's kitchen that would make her feel like fainting if she knew it. A sister is just exactly what you need in this emergency. Will you let her step into the gap and show you how nicely she can fill it? Will you? Ruth asked eagerly. That is just exactly what I wanted to say. Though I didn't like to say it for fear you would misunderstand not realize you know that it is because we don't want to go out of the family for assistance just now that we needed you so much. Recognized at last in words as a member of the family an unpremeditated sentence evidently from the heart it was what Susan Erskine had been patiently biding her time and waiting for. It had come sooner than she expected. It made her cheeks glow. I will go home with you at once she said in a business-like way there is nothing to hinder the machinery of this house is in running order again that new second girl is a treasure Ruth and by the way she has a sister who might develop into a treasure for you now let me see if I understand things what do you want me to do first first said Ruth smiling I need you to go shopping it is my forte you know I like to buy things and at last there is certainly occasion for my buying Susan you have no idea how much is wanted everything in every line is necessary and Judge Burnham has left all to me we need paper hangers and painters and all that sort of thing but of course he will attend to those things our plan is to return tonight with a load of necessities Judge Burnham is going to hire a team at once and have it loaded but what are the first necessities where shall I begin begin with a pencil and paper said Susan seizing upon them and seating herself now let us be methodical my teacher in mathematics once told me that I was nothing if I was not methodical kitchen first no dining room because we shall have to eat even before we get the house in order what is the necessity to that table before you can have a comfortable meal then they plunged into business two women thoroughly and earnest pencil and paper in hand bank check in pocket organization well developed in both of them and the need of speed apparent can accomplish surprising things in the way of plans in an hour of time especially when one is persistently methodical when Mrs. Burnham arose and drew her wrap around her preparatory to joining the husband who was waiting below she felt as though a week's work had been accomplished and cheery to gather these two been in a different mood toward each other from what had ever appeared before Susan was so sensible so quick-witted so clear-sighted as to what needed doing first and as to ways of doing the soonest and with all her matter of course way of saying we when she spoke of the work to arrange made her appear such a tower of strength to Ruth who knew so well her own delinquencies in the direction of housework and who had thoroughly tested Susan's practical knowledge land alive ejaculated Mrs. Erskine when after Ruth's departure the new arrangements were presented to her for approval who would have thought she would have to come after you in less than a day after she set out to do for herself so capable as she is too though I don't suppose she knows much more than a kitten about housework how should she well I'm glad I had you learn all them things what we'd have done this winter if I hadn't is more than I can see through well well child I don't know how we are going to get along without you your pos says great store by you I can see it every day and what if I should have another turn of sick headache while you're gone though for that matter I don't believe I will I guess going through the smallpox cured them headaches I haven't had one since and so she needs you right off well poor thing I don't know what she would do without you I'm sure them girls ain't deficient I dare say girls never are you'll learn them how Susan you can do it if anybody can and that'll be doing them a good turn Susan discreetly kept her own counsel about them girls and quietly and swiftly packed her satchel not without girls and song at her heart this beautiful sister whose love she had craved seemed very near to her this morning end of chapter 20 recording by Trisha G chapter 21 of Ruth Erskine's crosses the sliver box recording is in the public domain Ruth Erskine's crosses by pansy chapter 21 trying questions you are to imagine much that was done inside that long low house on the hill during the next three weeks a great deal can be done in three weeks time what was actually accomplished would fill a good sized volume so it is well that you are to imagine instead of read about it a great many wheels of progress were started during that very first day Ruth among the stores judge Burnham among the paper hangers painters and Susan in the Erskine attic sorting out and packing many things that according to judge Erskine's orders were Ruth's exclusive property by the time the five o'clock train received the three they were tired and satisfied tired though they were it was as late as midnight before all the household settled into rest Susan dropped into her place as naturally as though it had been waiting for her all these years the Ferris family were departed bag and baggage and the two Burnham's left behind were red-eyed and disconsolate why not the Ferris's were the only friends they had ever known Susan put a sympathetic arm around one and kissed the other before she had been in the house five minutes and Ruth remembered with dismay that she had not thought of doing such a thing and indeed if I must tell you the truth concerning her it seemed almost an impossible thing to do she had been for so many years in the habit of bestowing her kisses rarely and to such an exceedingly limited number of persons then they betook themselves Susan and Seraphina to the kitchen confusion reigned so it did all over the house except in the locked up purity of Ruth's two rooms but before midnight there was a comfortable place for Susan to sleep and most satisfactory preparations in line for breakfast the next morning it was that next morning which gave the two Burnham girls their first touch of a cultured home there was a little room conveniently situated as regarded the kitchen which the instinct of taste had made Ruth select at the first glance as a dining room thither she and Susan repaired early in the evening to make a survey it needs painting said Susan scanning the woodwork critically and papering and then with a pretty carpet it will be just the thing but in the meantime it is clean and we can set the breakfast table here tomorrow morning can't we if we can get it in here to set Ruth answered in a dubious tone it is a long horribly shaped table and none of our furniture will be here you know oh I see my way out of that there is a little table in that pantry or milk room or whatever is the name of it that will do nicely for a dining table until we get settled and Ruth shall we have some of my muffins for breakfast you remember Judge Burnham used to like them when we gave them to him occasionally for tea oh girls I can make delicious muffins and if you are both down here by six o'clock tomorrow morning I will teach you how the first thing I do passed to the two bewildered girls who stood waiting to see what astonishing thing would happen next as for Ruth she went upstairs to that gem of a room smiling over the strangeness of the thought that Susan was downstairs in their kitchen hers and Judge Burnham's planning with his daughters to have muffins for breakfast also she thought with a sense of satisfaction of the great trunk packed with silver rare old pieces of her mother's own which had been held sacred for her during all these years and of the smaller and newer trunk containing table drapery which was a marvel of fineness and whiteness both trunks had journeyed hither several days ago and had this night been opened to secure certain things which Susan's morning plans had called for so it was to the little room that the family came the next morning with its south window into which the September sun planted its rays cheerily the room itself was carpetless and the chairs were wooden and there was no other attempt at furniture but the table laid in snowy whiteness and the napkins large and fine and of delicate pattern and the silver service gleaming before Ruth's place and the silver forks and solid silver spoons and the glittering goblets and delicate china for Susan had actually unpacked and washed and arranged with mother's china to say nothing of the aroma of coffee floating in the air and mingling not unpleasantly with the whiff of a vase of autumn roses which blushed before Ruth's plate all these things were a lesson in home refinements such as a week of talking would never have accomplished in which the Burnham girls sat down to for the first time in their lives it was curious to notice the effect on them their conspicuous calicoes and stretched back hair and ungainly shoes were still painfully visible but for the first time apparently it dawned upon them that things didn't match they surveyed the table which was as a picture to them and then with instinctive movements is said to hide their awkward shoes under their two short dresses and blushed painfully over the impossibility of doing so Ruth noticed it and smiled they would be ready for her hand she fancied when she came to an hour of leisure to arrange for them that breakfast scene was a cheery one so much of home had already entered into its elements that Judge Burnham cordially pronounced Susan a fairy and she as genuinely responded that she was a most substantial one and had had two substantial helpers with a meaning glance toward the girls indeed he said in a kindly tone and then he glanced toward them that was a very pleasant way of showing good will the contrast between this breakfast and the one to which they sat down but one morning before was certainly very striking and though the girls blushed painfully the tone in which he had spoken and the glance which accompanied his remark did more for those girls than all their fathers lectures had accomplished directly the muffins and the broiled steak and the amber coffee were discussed and the meal concluded business in that house commenced thereafter it was a scene of organized disorder the girls under Susan's lead proved not withstanding Mrs. Judge Erskine's surmise very efficient helpers they could not enter a room properly they could not use the king's English very well and they knew nothing about the multitude of little accomplishments with which the girls of their age usually consumed time but it transpired that they could wash windows and paints and sweep walls and even nail carpets they were both quick-witted and skillful over many of these employments and the hearty laugh which occasionally rung out from their vicinity when Susan was with them showed plainly that they had lost their fear of her but their embarrassment where either their father or Ruth was concerned did not decrease and instead in the world of plans which had recently come upon them these two had little leisure to cultivate the daughters acquaintance Ruth after a few attempts at helping discreetly left the ordering of the hired helpers to Susan's skillful hands and accompanied her husband on daily shopping excursions where her good taste and good sense were called into action in the course of time and when there is a full purse to command skillful helpers the time need not be so very long drawn out there came a morning when it would have done your comfort loving heart good to have walked with Judge Burnham and his wife through the reconstructed house nothing showy nothing really expensive as that term is used in the fashionable world had been attempted Ruth's taste were too well pressured for that she knew perfectly that what was quite in keeping with the lofty ceilings and massive windows of her father's house would be ridiculously out of place here as you passed with her from room to room you would have realized that nothing looked out of place perhaps in the girls room as much thought had been expended as in any place in that house Ruth had been amazed not to say horrified on the occasion of her first visit to their room to find that it was carpetless curtainless and I had almost said furniture less an old fashioned high post bedstead destitute of any pretense of beauty and a plain painted stand holding a tin basin and a broken nose milk pitcher to Ruth whose one experience of life had to do with her father's carefully furnished house where the servants rooms were well supplied with the comforts to say nothing of the luxuries of the toilet this looked simply barbarous judge Burnham too was shocked and subdued it had been years since he had been a collar in his daughter's room and he had seemed to think that magic of some sort must have supplied their wants I furnished money whenever it was asked for he said regarding Ruth with a sort of appealing air now that I think of it they were never arrogant in their demands but I suppose I gave them enough at least when I thought about it at all I assured myself that the Pharisees would certainly not be afraid to ask for more if more was needed the difficulty with the fairest family was that they had no tastes to expend money for Ruth said quietly but you cannot wonder that the girls were not just what we would like to see them they certainly have had no feelings of any sort that would educate them in your direction after this talk he entered with hardiness into the plans for that room and when the delicate blue and pale gold carpet was laid and it reminded one of a sunset in a pure sky and the white drapery was looped with blue ribbons roll fashion and the gold banded china was gracefully disposed on the toilet case and the dressing bureau was adorned with all the little things that Ruth understood so well how to scatter even to a blue and gold vase full of sweet scented blossoms and the pretty cottage bedstead was luxuriously draped in spotless white plump pillows ruffled pillow shams all complete Ruth stood back and surveyed the entire effect with the most intense satisfaction what said the girls well they said nothing but their blazing cheeks and suspiciously wet eyes looked volumes several days they stepped about that room in a tiptoe fashion which would have amused Ruth had she seen it they did not rally from the feeling that everything about them was so delicate and pure that to breathe upon or touch would be tomorrow work of art meantime other matters had been progressing Ruth had lain awake half of one night and studied the immortal question of dress she had met and battled with half a dozen forms of pride and then had boldly announced at the next morning's breakfast table the following judge Burnham the girls and I want to go to the city to attend to some dressmaking shall we go in that mail wagon or how before this I should have explained to you that judge Burnham had been for some days in an active state of trying horses examining carriages and interviewing professional drivers also several horses and carriages had waited on them for trial so that Ruth had taken several rides to the cars on trial and had it once suggested that perhaps it would be as economical a way of keeping a carriage as any this spending the season in making a choice therefore judge Burnham laughed as he answered why no there is to be a trial span here in time for the 10 o'clock train I was about to propose a ride in honor of that occasion are you going into town for the day Ruth laughed for the week I am afraid we shall probably be detained at the dressmakers for some time and after that I have many errands to do now the form in which her pride had met her last was the shrinking from going to town and above all going to the fashionable dressmaking and millinery establishments with those strange looking companions for a critical survey of their wardrobe revealed the fact that they had nothing which she considered decent it was not the first time that she had taken the subject into consideration on the contrary it had been present with her during her shopping excursions and she had blessed the instinct which enabled her to see at a glance just what shade or tint would suit the opposite complexions of the two girls she had visited her dressmaker and made arrangements with her for service but the question had been whether she could not smuggle them off in some way to a quieter street among the less fashionable workers and secure for them a respectable outfit in which to appear at Madame Delfort's it was over these and kindred plans that she had lain awake and finally abandoned them all and resolved upon outright unconcern in regard to what others might say or think nevertheless she wins when the two girls came down arrayed in their best bright plaids for mrs. Faris's taste had run entirely in that direction cheap had adorned with cheap flowers and brilliant ribbons both flowers and ribbons more or less soiled and with no gloves at all Seraphina reported that she had lost hers and Ereminta that she couldn't find hers between these two states there is a distinction though it may not appear at first sight the trial carriage had arrived and Judge Burnham seated his party himself wearing a disturbed face he did not like the appearance of the company with which he was to go to town Ruth had thought of this and had tried to plan differently but with a man's obtuseness he had not thought of it and could not or would not understand why he should go in on the ten o'clock train and the rest wait till twelve especially when his wife admitted herself to be in haste and they might all go together fairly seated opposite his daughters he saw a reason for having gone earlier and even looked about him nervously as the carriage neared the depot wishing there was yet some chance of escape a way opened ah good morning judge this is fortunate I am in search of you this was the greeting which he received from the depot door he left Ruth standing on the steps and went forward to shake hands with a tall grey-haired man in the prime of life he came back after a few moments speaking rapidly Ruth that is Parsons the famous criminal lawyer he wants to consult me in regard to a case and is going farther on by the next train in search of a clue I guess after all I shall have to wait here for the twelve o'clock and have a talk with him and reject oh not at all Ruth said breathing more freely her husband's daughters were less of a cross to her without him than with him every man he met on the train knew and came to talk with him while she was a stranger the famous criminal lawyer moved toward them looking interested and Judge Burnham could hardly escape the ceremony of introduction ah he said I'm going low to Mrs. Burnham very happy to meet you madame I have known your husband for several years I hear you are just getting settled at your country's seat terrible task isn't it but Pays I suppose when one gets fairly settled I didn't know until the other day that you were rural in your tastes Judge Burnham all these sentences spoken in the man of the world tone which indicates that the person is talking for the sake of filling the time and all the while his practiced eye was taking in the group Judge Burnham with a slightly embarrassed manner and somewhat flushed face his elegant high-bred wife who was a trifle pale as she was want to be under strong feeling of any sort and the two girls in outer attire standing a little apart with wide eyes and flaming cheeks staring painfully the criminal lawyer seemed to think that the position demanded more words from him you are the victims of the usual American nuisance I see with the slightest possible inclination of his head toward the two the inefficiency of hired help is really the social puzzle of this country I think foreigners have immensely the advantage of us just returning a relay of the condemned sort I suppose there was the rising inflection to his sentence which marks a question and yet he rattled on precisely like a man who expects no answer was it because the train sounded its warning whistle just then the Judge Burnham though his face flushed and his eyes flashed did not correct the criminal lawyer's mistake end of chapter 21 recording by Tricia G chapter 22 of Ruth Erskine's Crosses this LibriVox recording is in the public domain Ruth Erskine's Crosses by Pansy chapter 22 that which satisfies not fairly seated in the train Ruth Burnham gave herself up to gloominess over her own planning the episode with the famous criminal lawyer not having served to sweeten her way she speedily determined on making as little a cross of the rest of it as she could to fully realizing that plan as she would the way was a cross she still shrank from the fashionable problems and her fashionable core of workers perhaps the worry meant was what she deserved for being so fashionable in her desires that she could not bring herself to look up an obscure back street with a modest sign and thus help along the large army of workers who cannot be fashionable though really there are two sides to even that question she understood that as a rule the work done from that back street would be a continual source of education to her a constant strain on her temper so long as the garments lasted after all it is not so much the desire to be in the height of the fashion that sends women to the extravagantly high priced modistes as a knowledge of the fact that as a rule the low priced ones do not understand their business and will succeed in making a bungle of any work which they undertake when there shall arise a class of women who have carefully learned how to cut and make ordinary garments in the best manner the cry of hard times among such workers will be less frequently heard Ruth concluded not to risk contact with chance acquaintances in street cars but directly she reached the city took a carriage to a store where she was a stranger and did some rapid transforming work two stylish wraps selected with due deference to their qualifications for covering much objectionable toilet underneath selected too with careful reference to the height and shape and complexion of the wearers then gloves that were strong and neat fitting and shapely then hats of easily done stamp gracefully yet slightly trimmed and really Judge Burnham would hardly have recognized his daughters Ruth surveyed them with satisfaction and if they could have been fitted at the madams without stylish mantles she would have drawn a sigh of relief as it was she still had that to dread and a real ordeal it was those who condemn her for exhibiting much false pride and foolish lack of independence have probably never been tried in the same way you have of course observed that people's own peculiar trials are the ones for which they have sympathy they are harder too to bear persons Ruth was not one wit behind the multitude in her way of thinking about herself as she stood in the madams apartments and endured the well-bred stairs and the well-bred impudence for there really is such a thing as what might be called well-bred impudence she set her teeth hard and ruled that the color should not rush into her face and also that the madams should have no more of her custom from this time forth and yet when she came to cooler moments she tried to reason within herself as to how the woman was to blame what had she said or looked that was not under the circumstances most natural all these questions Ruth held for the time being at bay and arranged and directed and criticized with her usual calm superiority of manner and with the assurance of one who knew exactly what she wanted and intended to stop short of entire satisfaction and she didn't she was more critical and troublesome even than usual and the madam would have told you that that was unnecessary and at last after many delays and changes of plan and trimmings and changes of patterns involving vexatious delays on madams part they were free of her for the day and could pursue their round of shopping more at leisure and no mood for shopping other than the necessary things that must be ordered to the madams without delay she was tired and fretted she wanted something to cool and quiet her she dispatched the necessary shopping with great care indeed but with unusual speed leaving the girls mean time seated in the carriage instead of in the great store where they would have delighted to be the business of lunching they dispatched some time before as soon indeed as they had left the dress making establishment Ruth had chosen an obscure place for refreshment not choosing to risk the danger of fashionable acquaintances at the places with which she was familiar consequently she had been able to do little else than gather her skirts about her to protect them from careless and hurried waiters and to curl her aristocratic nose behind her handkerchief at the unwanted smells combining around her while the girls famished by the drain on their nerves and having by reason of the excitement of the morning been unable to indulge in much breakfast made a hearty meal not at all disturbed by the sights and sounds and odors which made eating an impossibility to Ruth this little matter served to add to her discomfort and her sense of bloom for when people are hungry they are much more ready to yield to gloom all the shopping done that she could bring herself to give attention to she consulted her watch and learned with dismay that there was an hour and a half before train time what was to be done with it she thought of her husband's office but suppose the criminal lawyer should be there in any case there would be those dreadful students to stare and nudge each other and giggle Ruth dreaded a giggle more than she did a bullet assuredly she would not go there neither was her city home to be thought of she was not in a mood to present her husband's daughters to Mrs. Judge Erskine neither did she intend that those daughters in their present attire or with their present attainments should come in contact with her so as the gloomy faced woman rode blisslessly along on an uptown car while the two girls were bobbing their head swiftly from one window to another endeavoring to take in all the strange sights she was engaged in trying to decide what to do with time a blackboard bulletin before one of the public halls caught her notice and her quick eye took in the large lettering Bible reading Harry Morehouse here at four o'clock come before she had reached the inviting word she had signaled the car following her wither she would there is an hour or more before we can go home she said in explanation let us go to this meeting perhaps it will be interesting they were entirely willing in fact they were in a state of maze anything that this remarkable woman who knew her way so compositely through this great whirling city suggested they were willing to help carry out so they mounted the steps to the large light social looking room where people were already thronging in no acquaintances to be feared here Ruth did not know many who frequented such meetings or were to be found in this part of the city in the distance she caught a glimpse of Marion but she shrank back unwilling to be recognized even by her for Marion had her beautiful daughter beside her and the contrast would be too strikingly painful presently the meeting opened Ruth looked about her for Harry Morehouse a name with which she was not unfamiliar but she almost curled her lip in disappointment she was so amazed at the insignificance of this little boyish man as if he could help anybody her heart said in scorn what exaggerated reports do get into the papers about people and then presently she did just what many other person has done who has listened to Harry Morehouse's rendering of scripture forgot to think of the man and gave earnest heed to the words which he was reading words which some way had a sound strangely familiar though they were as if she had never heard them before wherefore do you spend money for that which is not bread and your labor for that which satisfies not hearken diligently unto me it is good and let your soul delight itself in fatness what was there in the familiar verse that thrilled so with Ruth Burnham's soul that which satisfies not she needed only her own experience to show her that one who understood the human heart spoke these words how freely she had been giving labor and how strangely unsatisfying it all seemed to her today she fairly hungered and after a higher grasp of the infinite arm reached down a great flanging came over her to hide herself away in him she was so tired and so tried and a long line of petty trials stared her in the face she felt like turning away from them all and yet she mustn't well then she felt like reaching higher ground getting up where the air was purer where these endless details of dress and position would trouble her less where such women as madame the dressmaker would have no power to flush her cheek and set her heart to angry beatings by a high bread stare suddenly a new thought flashed across her heart these girls what had she been doing for them how had she been trying to satisfy them in the days that they had spent together she remembered that she had not once alluded even in the most remote manner to anything higher or better or more satisfying than these new things which at best were to perish with the using had she not by her example left the impress of her first influence upon them to the effect that well furnished rooms and carefully adorned bodies were the important things on which to spend one's strength well she said within her disturbed self I have no time no time inquired that other inner self which is forever at war with its fellow is it because you have been employed on more important matters this almost angered Ruth it flushed her face and she said there is a proper time for all things yes said the other one and is the proper time to attend to this most important concern with which we have to do in life after all the lesser matters are disposed of then Ruth browsed and gave her heart some searching into was it possible that she had really been teaching those girls that she considered the matter of their outward adorning more important than anything else connected with them if actions speak even louder than words and if she had acted the one and not so much as spoken about the other what else could they think I am glad she told herself that I brought them into this meeting at least they will get a different idea here then she turned and looked at them would they get different ideas or had the first taken root leaving at least no present room for other growth miss seraphina was spreading her hand carefully out in her lap and contemplating with eyes of unmistakable admiration the color and texture and fit of her new gloves it was all together probable that she had never worn well fitting love's before and she felt their importance the other sister was evidently as totally absorbed in the trimness of her neatly fitting kid boot the advent of which had made her foot a stranger to herself with which she was trying to get acquainted as though harry moorhouse and his wonderful new bible had been in london at that moment a strange pang thrilled the heart of the woman who was trying in her youth to be a mother to these two she looked at their absorbed faces and followed the direction of their eyes was that simply the necessary result of new refinements would these all sink into their proper and subordinate places directly the newness and strangers had worn off or was this really a wave of her own influence which was going to increase in power as surely as it was fed now this thought did not rest her and while it was desirable in itself that she should be thus early roused to the sense of danger there might be in flooding these young creatures with this world's vanities that wise old enemy satan was on the alert to make the whole matter into thorns with which to prick roof's tired heart and in obliging her thoughts to revolve around this center never widening it nor seeing her way out of the maze yet effectually shutting her off from the practical help which awaited her through the channel of harry moorhouse's bible somebody has said that whoever else stays away from a religious meeting satan never does was there ever a truer statement if he would only appear in his natural character instead of as in this instance transforming himself into a goat and pressing hard against the nerves that were already strained to their utmost on the whole mrs. judge bernum went home on the five o'clock train thoroughly wearied in body and mind and with a haunting sense of disappointment pressing down her spirits she had accomplished that which she had in the morning started to do she had been successful in all her undertakings and could feel that things were now in train for making transformation in the outward appearance of those hitherto neglected girls a laudable undertaking certainly so it was held in its place but she could not get her heart away from the sentence and your labor for that which satisfied not end of chapter 22 recording by trisha g chapter 23 of ruth urskine's crosses the sliverbox recording is in the public domain ruth urskine's crosses by pansy chapter 23 wherefore now i am afraid you will laugh over the matter which appeared next to ruth bernum in the shape of a trial yet if you have not lived long enough in this world to be in sympathy with the little trials which in certain states of mind look large either your experience is not extensive or your sympathies not large it was no greater matter than the hair which belonged to judge bernum's daughters but really if you could have seen the trying way in which they managed to disfigure their heads with this part of their adorning you have felt that some action was demanded ruth knew exactly how each head ought to be dressed she could almost see the effect that would be produced by a skillful and easily attainable arrangement then where the trial why perhaps if you are not made up of that cruelly sensitive type of women and i am sure i hope you are not it will be difficult to make plain to you how ruth shrank from touching that hair human hair other than her own was a thing which she desired to keep at a respectful distance she could admire it when well cared for and she did most heartily but to care for it to comb and brush and fondle over any person's hair was to ruth or would have been had she ever been called upon to suffer in that line a positive martyrdom now add to this the fact that this shrinking from the work increased tenfold when it had to do with any person who was not very dear and precious and possibly you can comprehend why she were so troubled of face that Saturday evening engaged at those hopeless heads opposite her and wondered how a transformation was to be brought about she was hopeless as regarded teaching the intricacies of any becoming twist or curl in time with patients and with often taking hold and obliging the refractory hairs to lie in their place it might be accomplished and here poor Ruth shivered over the horrors of a possible future experience but to get them ready to appear at church the next morning without a personal encounter was not to be hoped for this Saturday evening although the family had been three weeks in their new home was the first in which they were planning for church the little church in the village had been closed for a longer space of time than that undergoing repairs and the first Sabbath after their marriage Ruth had contrived to plan and work herself into an exhaustive headache that had to be succumbed to and petted all day the next they had been forced to spend in the city by reason of having missed the last train out on Saturday now here they were on the eve of the third and Ruth at least had been planning toward the little stone church everything was in readiness the new dresses and the new bonnets and the new gloves and all the new and bewildering paraphernalia of the toilet had arrived from the city the last package only the evening before and but for that dreadful hair Ruth would have been happy over the thought of the effect to be produced by the next morning's toilet it was Susan who at last and in an unexpected manner came to the rescue she had stepped in and rescued Ruth from a hundred trials both seen and unseen during the experiences of the last three weeks she did her part so naturally too as one who simply happened along at the right moment without having understood any special need for it perhaps there is no rarer or more perfect way of bearing one another's burdens than this apparently unconscious one they sat in the cheery sitting room Ruth would not have called it a parlor and in no part of the house had the transformation been more complete than in that square, rag carpeted paper-curtained and unhome-like room Judge Burnham was reading certain business letters that seemed to perplex him the girls were wishing that they could invent some excuse for escaping early from the room to their own that they might have another look at all the beauties of their wardrobe and Ruth was gazing at them with a distressed air and manner and thinking of hair Susan, glancing up from her glove-mending followed the direction of Ruth's eyes for a moment then she spoke her thoughts I just longed to get a hold of your hair the remark seemed to be addressed to the two girls and was so in keeping with Ruth's thoughts that she started and flushed wondering for an instant whether it were possible for Susan to know what they were laughed and looked pleased at her interest your hair would curl beautifully Susan added addressing the elder sister and those wide braids in which heavy hair is arranged now would just fit Minta's face don't you think so Ruth yes said Ruth promptly I am sure of it but I don't know that she could get them looped right oh yes she could it is very easy after one knows how girls I am an excellent barber suppose we go upstairs and try my skill I can show you so that you can arrange that part of your toilet in the morning in less time than it usually takes this plan was immediately carried out the three going upstairs with merry voices Susan's cheery one being heard to say oh you don't understand half my accomplishments yet there are ever so many things I can do that is a fact said Judge Burnham with emphasis she is a very treasure in the house I used to pity you Ruth but upon my word so far as she is concerned I am not sure that there was any room for pity there was not Ruth said heartily it took me a long time to realize it but she has been from the first day of her coming to our home a blessing to me and so strange are these hearts of ours often times by words or deeds apparently so slight Ruth felt the little episode of the hair dressing as something that called forth very tender feeling for her sister she began to have a dim idea of what a blessing might be hidden in a simple quiet life constantly unselfish in so called little things so it came to pass that on a lovely Sabbath morning the Burnham family were one and all making ready to appear in a family in the little stone church the girls had been there more or less on Sabbaths during their lives years ago Judge Burnham used to go occasionally when he felt like it but it had been many a year since he had been seen inside the unpretending little building Ruth of course had never been and the circumstances surrounding them all were so new and strange that it was almost like a company of strangers being introduced into another the two girls came down a trifle earlier than the others and were in the hall near the doorway where the soft yellow sunlight rested on them when Judge Burnham descended the stairs halfway down he paused with a surprised irresolute air as his eyes rested on the two apparent strangers and then as one of them turned suddenly and he caught a glimpse of her face the surprise deepened the ladies who were so at home in his house in the privacy of a Sabbath morning this was the first thought and the second it is not can it be possible that they are my daughters then it is almost surprising that he did not at once feel humiliated over the fact that outward adornings had power so to transform it was certainly a transformation rich quiet toned silks just the right tint to accord well with skin and eyes made in that indescribable manner which marks the finished workmen to those eyes skilled in translating it and to other eyes it simply says the effect is perfect wraps and hats and gloves and handkerchiefs everything in keeping and in place of the stretched back hair were soft smooth rolling auburn curls completely changing the expression of the wearer's face also that unbecoming massive shortish hair which had hung in such untidy uncouthness was gone and in its place wide smooth braids tastefully looped here and there with knots of ribbon of just the right shade Ruth should have been there at that moment to see the two and to see Judge Burnham as he looked at them she would have felt rewarded for her work it certainly was strange what a different manner the hitherto awkward girls now assumed a sense of conscious becomingness if it were nothing more had fallen upon them and in the effort to do justice to their new selves they almost unconsciously drew the stooping shoulders straight and stood with heads erect well upon my word said Judge Burnham recovering himself at last and advancing toward them I didn't know you I wondered what strange ladies we had here your false suits are certainly very becoming he chose to ignore the fact that false suits were new experiences to them perhaps he really did not yet understand to what a new world they had been introduced the two laughed not unpleasantly and the flush on their cheeks toned as it was by the billows of soft freshings about the throat was certainly not unbecoming they had taken long looks at themselves in their mirror that morning and it was not unpleasant to them to think that their father did not recognize them they had already reached the place where they had no desire to have their past recognized some seed takes root promptly and grows rapidly you may imagine that the entrance of the Burnham party to the Little Stone Church was an event in the eyes of the congregation they had known the Burnham girls all their lives but these young ladies they never saw before it would have been curious to a student of human nature to have studied the effect which their changed appearance made on the different characters present certain ones looked unaffected and unconcealed amazement others gazed up at them and returned their nods of recognition with respectful bows seeming to look upon them as people who had moved to an immense distance from themselves and there were those who resented the removal and tossed their heads and said with their eyes and the shape of their mouths that they considered themselves quite as good as those Burnham girls if they were all decked out like peacocks as for Judge Burnham the shade of satisfied pride in place of the mortification which he had schooled himself to feel repaid his wife for her three weeks of effort then she tried to turn away from the question of personal appearance and give herself to the service but she was both surprised and pained to find that in her well meant efforts to place these girls in their proper position before others she had some way lost ground spiritually it was all very well to resolve to turn her thoughts away from the girls and their dresses and their bonnets and their hair and their manners but it was another thing to accomplish it she found what possibly we have each discovered by experience that it was not easy to get away on Sabbath the church from that which had absorbed us during the week and indeed a fair share of the early Sabbath itself try as she would to join in him or Bible reading or even prayers she found her mind wandering to such trivial questions as whether after all a shade lighter of the silk would have fitted mintus peculiar complexion better or whether those gloves were not a trifle large these thoughts were very hateful to her she struggled hard to get away from them and was amazed and distressed beyond measure to find that they held her captive she waited eagerly for the sermon hoping that it would be such in one as would hold her attention for her since she was not able to control it herself and behold the text announced was one which indeed helped her wandering thoughts but threw her back into the very midst of the gloom which had pressed her heart the last time to those words wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread and your labor for that which satisfies not again her answering conscience said that was what she had been doing money and time and strength freely given for that which was not bread it had not fed her soul on the contrary it or something else had starved her well what was the trouble she had surely done that which was she yes but did a revealing spirit whisper the words in her ear just then these ought ye to have done and not to have left the other undone she had been absorbed in her labor she had put these things first she had risen and gone about the day too hurried for other than a word of prayer too hurried for any private reading she had retired at night too wearied in mind and body for any prayer at all was starved much time gone and no bread for her hungry soul also not having fed herself how could she have been expected to feed others even yet she had said almost nothing to these daughters of hers about the all important matter she had talked with them often and long all the details of the toilet had been gone over carefully exhaustively and she and they and Judge Burnham himself satisfied with the results of her words in that direction what about the direction which satisfied how was Ruth to get away from her heart no I must do her justice that was not her cry she did not want to get away from the awakening voice she was distressed she was humiliated she was unhappy but she wanted to find rest only through the love and patience of Jesus she felt like a sheep she had wandered outside even while doing work that she surely thought was set for her as indeed it was but her eyes were just opening to the fact that one can do work that the master has set so vigorously as to forget the resting places which he has marked for the soul to pause and commune with him and gather strength she had been working but not resting and then again it was most painfully true that because of lack of spiritual strength she had done but half her work the important human side she had held to its important place and worked faithfully for it but the forever more important spiritual side she had allowed to sink almost out of sight of her vision and even when roused by his spirit as he had spoken to her through that very verse but a little time before she had allowed her roused heart to slip back and absorb itself to this world and the adornments of fleshly bodies while the souls waited truth to tell Ruth was not troubled any more that morning by wandering thoughts neither did she hear much of the earnest sermon which was preached but if the preacher had but known how the Holy Spirit took his text and preached to one soul for him he would have gone home to his closet on his knees and thanked God for using his lips that day and that soul that questioning word it passes my comprehension how a man with no more development of brain power than that one possesses made the mistake of thinking he was called to preach this was what Judge Burnham said as he walked with his wife home from the morning service did you ever hear an effort more devoid of ideas what possible good can he think he has accomplished if that is his motive or how can he have sufficient vanity to imagine that it is rather than a bore to listen to him Ruth hesitated for her answer it was not that she had been impressed with the sermon it was rather the text that had been preached to her and she did not feel personally sensitive in regard to Judge Burnham's opinion of this particular minister I think the reason that the word struck sharply on her heart was because they revealed her husband's utter lack of sympathy with the subject matter of the sermon he was speaking solely from a critical intellectual standpoint without apparently a conception of spiritual power connected with the foolishness of preaching the sentence revealed to Ruth as with a flash of light such as reveals darkness the fact that her husband had no sympathy with Christ or his servants as such of course she had known this before but to know a thing and to feel it are two very different matters I was not thinking of the newness of the truth she said after a little hesitatingly it impressed me however a thing does not need to be new in order to be helpful it may be as old as the earth and we never have given it attention possibly he said lightly there are things so old and so tiresome that we do not care to give them special attention I am entirely willing to class that sermon among such if you say so I declare I had not realized it would be such a trial to me I don't quite see what is to be done I suppose your orthodoxy will not permit of your staying at home on Sabbath and I'm sure we cannot tolerate that sort of preaching I suppose he calls it preaching how shall we manage still Ruth had no answer ready every word that he spoke served to increase the heavy weight at her heart and despite her shivering effort to get away from it she was saying the question how can two walk together except they be agreed yet she realized only too well that the time for settling that question was long past that she had taken solemn and irrevocable vows upon her and must abide by them the question now was how was she so to walk with him as not to dishonor Christ I have no fault to find with the man's preaching she said coldly and laughed good-naturedly and told her he appreciated her well-meant efforts to make the best of everything but unfortunately she had too much brain to allow him for a moment to believe that such weak attempts at oratory satisfied her then he changed the subject talking of matters as foreign to Ruth's thoughts as possible and yet serving by their very distance from her heart to press the weight of pain deeper her eyes once widely opened it seemed that everything which occurred that day served to show her more plainly the gulf which lay between her ideas and plans and hopes and those of her husband what a glorious day this is he had said as they turned from the dinner table I declare I believe the country is ahead of the city on such days as these anyway Ruth what do you say to a ride it would be a good time to explore that winding road which seemed to stretch away into nowhere while he waited he watched with surprise the flush which deepened and spread on his wife's face it so happened that the question of Sabbath riding for pleasure was one which had come up incidentally for discussion one evening at Flossy Shipley's during Mr. Roberts' visit and Ruth who had taken the popular view of innocent Sabbath recreation had discussed the matter with keen relish finding Mr. Roberts able to meet her at every point she had been first annoyed to find her position open to so much objection then interested to study the question in all its bearings and ended as such a frank intelligent and thoroughly sincere nature as hers must end in abandoning a position which she saw was untenable and coming strongly over to the other side since which time the observance of the Sabbath had been one of her strong points Judge Burnham had respected her scruples so far as he knew them but truth to tell he did not understand them very well having no personal principle in the matter by which to judge he was in danger of airing in unthought of directions and every new phase of the same question demanded a new line of reasoning it had not so much as occurred to him that his wife would see any impropriety in riding out in her own carriage on the Sabbath day with her husband on a quiet, unfrequented country road while she hesitated he watched her curiously well he said laughing at last what is the trouble you look as though I had broken all the commands in the deck a log am I on forbidden ground now not all the commands Bruce said trying to smile but you seem to have forgotten the fourth I am not sure that I know it I am not thoroughly posted as to the commandments the position in which they stand at least what is wrong Ruth judge Burnham I don't like to ride out for pleasure on Sabbath what not with me is it wicked to have a pleasant time on Sabbath I didn't know that I failed to see why we can't be as good sitting together in the carriage as we are sitting together in the parlor or should we spend this day apart enjoying the luxury of melancholy reflection I think you know what I mean you are much too well versed in argument to be entirely ignorant of people's views in regard to this day upon my word Ruth I was never more innocent I might be able to see some force in a young lady's objection to riding out with a young gentleman especially in a city or in a crowded thoroughfare though even such things may be carried to excess but when it comes to one's husband and a country road where we shall not meet three people in an hour I confess I am be fogged Susan do you see the bearings of this case why I see a good many bearings which you would not admit and possibly you could bring to bear a good many arguments which I would not admit we start from different standpoints it all resolves itself into whether we believe the word of God or not and I accepted as our rule of life why no it doesn't I believe the word of God in a measure at least I have respect for the Sabbath as an institution and believe in its sacredness I have no sort of fault to find with remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy I believe it was a good sensible law but we should very likely quarrel over the word holy I would object to the narrowness which made it so falsely holy that I could not enjoy a ride with wife after church and I should have serious doubts as to whether you could prove your side of the question from the Bible listen to one Bible argument then Susan said quietly and tell me what you think it means if thou turn away thy foot from doing thy pleasure on my holy day and call the Sabbath a delight the holy of the Lord honorable and shalt honor him not doing nine own ways nor finding nine own words nor speaking nine own words what do you think of that argument for my side Judge Burnham the gentleman addressed looked his embarrassment and annoyance the verse quoted sounded strangely new and solemn to him his inner consciousness was made certain that he was not ready to gauge his Sabbath employments by that rule oh well he said restlessly that verse would have to affect other things besides riding out in the free it has to do with home life and words and acts as well it certainly has Susan answered and she spoke as if she thought it in no degree lessened the force of the argument because the obligation reached in many directions I suppose Ruth said there is no question but the Sabbath is very poorly observed still that is hardly an argument for increasing the ways of dishonoring it is it then Judge Burnham turned on his heel and went off to the piazza dating no reply to the general question that his wife had put as for herself she struggled with the sense of pain that kept increasing and wondered how she should shape her life apparently Judge Burnham became ashamed of his rudeness for he returned presently to the parlor with her Ruth had gone to wait for him and seating himself near her with some pleasant remark as far removed from the recent subject as he could make it took up a book and seemed to lose himself in it Ruth followed his example the book she took being the elegantly bound Bible that her father had sent to grace the table instinctively she turned to the chapter from which the haunting verse came and slowly carefully read it over presently what had been a pretense with Judge Burnham became reality he was interested in his book which interest he evidenced by a burst of laughter this is really rich he said listen to this sarcasm Ruth see if you ever heard anything touch deeper and then he read from the sparkling satirical popular writer a dozen sentences of brilliant sarcasm concerning one of the scientific questions of the day keen, sharp, sparkling with wit and strength but having to do with a subject for which Ruth had no time and which especially jarred upon her this Sabbath afternoon her husband looked up from his reading to meet the answering flash of the eyes which he liked so well to see kindle and met the objection on her face and felt the lack of sympathy with his enjoyment I beg your pardon he said abruptly I had forgotten your Puritan ideas possibly I am infringing again on the sacredness of your Sabbath I certainly think that the sentiments of that book are not in accordance with the Bible idea of the sacredness of the day if Ruth could only have kept her voice from sounding as cold as an iceberg she might have had some influence as it was he arose with a decided frown on his fine face I see Ruth, he said speaking as coldly as she had herself that we assuredly have nothing in common for this day of the week whatever may be said of us on other days it is a pity that the sacredness of the Sabbath should be the only element of discord between husband and wife as I am in continual danger of airing unconsciously I will have the grace to leave you in solitude and religious enjoyment and with a courtly bow he left her to herself and her large open Bible and her sad heart a little later Susan came in and stopping beside her looked down the page of the Bible Ruth laid her finger on the words of the morning text it is all true Susan, she said gravely I don't believe there is any person living who realizes it more fully than I do that which satisfies not one may do one's best and succeed in accomplishing and it is unsatisfying have you answered the question Ruth dear whose question where for do ye that is what he asks do you understand why we try to satisfy our souls on husks instead of wheat well Ruth said thoughtfully things have to be done of course but why should we stop among the things expecting satisfaction or allow them to take other than the subordinate place they are meant to occupy Ruth I think the trouble with you is you do not read the whole verse you feel that you have proved the truth of the first part of it in your own experience why don't you try the rest just what do you mean why listen hearken unto me and eat ye that which is good and let your soul delight itself in fatness don't you see what an assurance that is that the feast is spread there is prepared that which will satisfy why not hearken to the voice of the master of the feast Ruth lifted to her sister's face earnest eyes that filled with tears I have tried to hearken she said in a voice that was husky with feeling I have heard his voice and have tried to follow him and at times as I have told you before he has seemed very near but the feeling does not stay I am up on the mount one day more than satisfied and the next day I have dropped down and lost my comfort yes I know that story in all its details I have lived it in my own case it was because I ceased hearkening for his voice I placed other things first I thought first of what I was going to do or have or be instead of putting Christ first Ruth don't you know he says for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God how often I have thought of that he will not abide with a divided heart he must be first and for myself I did not for years keep him first God was not in all my thoughts I don't know Ruth said speaking slowly after a long silence and she spoke with a long drawn sigh I don't know that I can ever get back to where I was even three weeks ago something has dropped like a pall upon my joy in religion I never had much joy in anything really it isn't in my nature to be joyful perhaps I should not expect it Susan smiling shook her head that won't do you know joy is one of the fruits that you are commanded to bear it is not optional with you the fruit of the spirit is love joy you remember it is not the joy of nature that you and I are to look for but the joy of grace Ruth if I were you I would try to go back to three weeks ago I would try to go back to Christ and ask him to hold you and lead you and speak for you and in this your time of special need not to let you drop for one moment away from him but who shall account for the perversity of the human heart something in the simple earnest words were translated by Satan to mean to Ruth a reflection against her husband she lifted her head hotly and went out of her voice I don't know what you mean by my time of special need I do not know that one's life humanly speaking could be more carefully shielded than mine I have no anxiety as to judge Burnham's position in regard to these questions he will respect my wishes and follow my plans to this Susan had no answer had she spoken at all she feared she would have shown Ruth that her own words were strictly true she believed her at this moment to be weighed down with a sense of her husband's influence over her when the bell tolled for evening service Susan and the two daughters of the house came down attired for church going again queried judge Burnham with uplifted eyebrows Ruth and I have had enough for today and Ruth sitting back in an easy chair with a footstool at her feet and a sofa pillow at her head and a volume of sacred poems in her hand neither raised her eyes nor spoke thou shalt have no other gods before me this sentence stayed persistently with Susan Erskine what had it to do with judge Burnham and his wife that they too should remind her of it End of chapter 24 Recording by Tricia G