 The Grape Nuts and Grape Nuts Flakes Program coming to you from New York City and starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, Rochester and yours truly, Don Wilson. Well guess what friends, on the way over here to the studio a guy rushed up to me and said, gosh I'm glad you're going back on the air. Why, I haven't eaten anything for breakfast since you stopped telling me what to have. Well I hope the rest of you haven't been going without breakfast all summer because it just so happens that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. That's what the nutrition experts tell us. We also say that an adequate breakfast should include a cereal with whole grain nourishment. Well delicious, molly rich grape nuts or toasty brown grape nuts flakes are certainly the answer to that. For both of these tempting sweet as a nut cereals are chuck full of whole grain food values. One kind of nourishment you need to get a swell start on the day. Yes sir, grape nuts and grape nuts flakes have a real standby equality and you'll find yourself zipping through to lunchtime in a high. And you feature these grand cereals in your morning meal. They're delicious, nutritious, thrifty. So make it grape nuts or grape nuts flakes for a good morning all morning long. Probably no, Jack Benny has just returned from a camp tour overseas. So we take you back a few days to LaGuardia Airport and show you what happened when Jack arrived. See Mary, isn't it crowded here at the airport? It sure is Don. Just imagine Jack's been gone three whole months. That's right. I wonder if he's changed. Cheepers, I hope so. Gosh, I can hardly wait to see him. You never can tell Mary. Maybe a trip like this made a new man out of Jack's. Maybe. Maybe he'll have a different outlook on life, not worry about everything the way he used to. Maybe. Maybe he won't be so cheap and tight anymore. Well it was nice thinking about it anyway. Push in a little closer Don. You see Blossom, I told you there'd be excitement at the airport. Sure I think, but why is there such a crowd here? Don't you know, Jack Benny's coming in. Who? Jack Benny. Who? You know the comedian who's been with the soldiers in Africa. Oh Bob, hope he's so comical. No, no, no, Jack Benny, he's on the radio Sunday night. For him, then. Coming in for a landing. You can take your head out of my lap now. Okay. I can't believe I'm home. Pilot to control tower. I'll speak to you later. Pilot to control tower. Pilot to control tower. Give landing instructions. Give landing instructions. Oh boy, New York. Look at that skyline. I'm so nervous. Look, look, there's the Statue of Liberty. The Statue of Liberty. Don't get conceited, she waves at everybody. Gosh, it'll only be a couple of minutes now. What's your step getting out of the plane? Well, so long, Cap. It was a wonderful trip. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hey, look at that beautiful dame. Isn't that Mary Livingston? Yeah, but don't get conceited. She waves at everybody. Oh boy, did I get even with that guy. Hey, Mary! Just a second, ma'am. I want to run over and kiss Mary. Kiss me and give her the autograph. Very sweet, ma'am. But I'll come back and kiss you later. Well, hurry up. I'm in 1A. I'd do them a lot of good. Why, why, Mary, have I changed? Changed? I haven't been kissed like that since I tripped and fell on a mop. Hey, a Casanova from Casablanca. Hey, where's Rochester? He's at the hotel waiting for you. Pardon me, Mr. Benny, but would you please sign my wife's autograph book? Why, certainly, I'll be glad to. What's the name, please? Just put down to Blossom Rapaport from Jack Benny. How do you spell that? B-E-N-N-Y. So much. Look, lady, suppose I just sign it to Blossom from Jack. Signed editing, stop it. Oh, mister. The Acme Plaza. It's way downtown. Oh, Jack, why do you always stay at that joint? Mary, the Acme Plaza's not a joint. Go on, it's the only foxhole I ever saw with a lobby. Hey, driver, will you please hurry to the hotel? I've been on a long trip and I want to take a bath. Don't worry, bud. I'll get you there so fast you'll be first in line. Okay, step on it. Well, tell me, Jack, don't you feel tired and worn out after that long trip? Oh, well, a little down. But it was worth it. Gosh, the places I've been and the people I've met... Sit back, John. Here it comes. Hmm. You know, I'll never forget what happened to me in North Africa. You see, Larry Adler was with me and Winnie Shaw and Anna Lee. And we... Hey, you're Jack Benny, aren't you? Well, yes, yes, driver, I am. Well, anyway, kids, Larry and I and the girls were at a certain camp in North Africa. It was very quiet when all of a sudden, about 12 o'clock... Say, Mr. Benny, I got a brother in the Army in North Africa. Name's Crowley, Joe Crowley. Did you run into him there? Crowley? No, no, I didn't. Well, anyway, down it was midnight. You see, there was a full moon, you see. And, of course, no one ever thought that, honey, Joe's the kind of a guy you'd pick out any place. Well, look it, I'm sorry, driver, but I didn't see him. So, Mary, get this. Here it was midnight, you see, and nobody would... Rax's knuckles a lot. Funny it didn't hear him. Look, driver, I traveled 32,000 miles. I was all over North Africa. I met thousands and thousands of soldiers. But Joe's a corporal. Well, I'm sorry, I didn't see him. Now, let's see, where was I? It was midnight, and Joe was a corporal. Oh, yes, well, anyway, it was midnight. There wasn't a breath of air stirring. When all of a sudden... Here we are, the Acme Plaza. This is it, Don. The good ol' Acme Plaza. Where? Right down those stairs. Yep, that's it. I'll take care of the cab. Here you are, driver. 75 piasters. That's Egyptian money. Piasters? They're no good here. Oh, yes. Well, Don, you take care of it. Well, I've only got piasters. Holy smoke. Now we're in for six months of this. Mary, I'll get a change at the bank tomorrow. Don't worry. Well, so long, Mr. Penny. I'm sorry it didn't meet my brother, Corporal Crowley. Yes, yes, oh my. Jack, look who's waiting for you. Where? Walls! Walls! Walls! You got fat. Well, you put on a little weight yourself. You must have gained 20 pounds. I'm worried you'll take it off me. No, no. This year, things are going to be different. But no kidding, Rochester. We're both carrying around a little excess baggage. I'm carrying mine, boss. You're dragging yours. Oh, it doesn't look that bad. Well, come on, kids. Let's go into the hotel. Watch your step. That first one down is the lily. Welcome to Inner Sanctum. Well, the same old clerk. Hello, Mr. Leroy. Hello, Mr. Benny. Glad to see you home again. Do you have an ice trip? Oh, wonderful. By the way, Mr. Leroy, have I got my same room? No, I moved you up to the ground floor of the penthouse. Oh, that's swell. Yeah, now you won't have to come in through the grading. Yeah, it's nice of you, Mr. Leroy. Here's the key to your room, Mr. Benny. Thank you. And here's the other key. You remember, I always like to lock my clothes closet. Well, come on, kids. You know, Mary, I can't wait to tell you what happened that night in North Africa. It was midnight and there was a full moon. Not a breath of air was stirring and everything was quiet. When all of a sudden... Short, that's how it happened. Can you imagine her mistaking me for Eisenhower? I mean, imagine. I'll try. Well, anyway... You want me to try it, too, boss? Oh, Rochester, just finish unpacking my bag. Anyway, Don, it was such a thrill meeting everybody that you've ever read about all those important generals who I could just sit here and talk for days. Oh, it must have been exciting. But tell me, Jack, how was Eisenhower to talk to? What sort of a fella is he? Well, to tell you the truth, Don, he's one general that I didn't get to meet. You see, the two days that I was in Algiers, Eisenhower happened to be in Sicily. And what about General Doolittle? Did you meet him? No. You see, Mary, by the time I got to Sicily, Doolittle had gone to Casablanca. But General Patton was in Sicily. General Patton? Yes, he was in Palermo the same time I was. What a swell guy. Old blood and guts. I really was thrilled sitting in his office. Then you met General Patton? No, he had just left for Messina. You see, he went from Palermo to Messina. Well, what about General Clark? He went from matches to movies. He did not. He was in Italy when I did a show there two weeks ago. In fact, he would have come to see it if he hadn't been so busy. Oh, then you didn't meet General Clark? He didn't even meet Corporal Crowley. That's enough about me. How's everything at home? I mean, Rochester. I can't get out of Italy. Rochester, how's our border, Mr. Billingsley? Of course, you're sure going to have to get rid of him. That man's getting crazier every day. Why, what happened now? Well, when you were in the Middle East, Mr. Billingsley wrote you a letter. What's crazy about that? Instead of mailing it, he put the letter in his pocket, stuck a stamp on his nose and shoved his head in the mailbox. He told me he would have gone... Rochester, he's just a little eccentric, that's all. Imagine mailing himself to me as a letter. That ain't the end of it. He shoved me in this firing cabinet and said he wanted to keep a carbon copy. Rochester, say, Mary, how come you never answered any of those letters I wrote you? Letters? What are you talking about? I never even got a postcard. I didn't either. Well, how do you like that? I wrote two or three times a week. I can understand that. Did you send them air mail? No. Well, Dan, did you send them regular mail by boat? No. Don't tell me you gave them to Eleanor as she passed by. This is Roosevelt went to Australia. Here's what I did, Mary. You see, there's a current in the Mediterranean that goes into the Gulf Stream, which flows around the tip of Florida and then northward to New York. So? Well, I wrote the letters, put them in bottles, threw them into the Mediterranean, and I can't understand what held them up. Well, I'll be... I can't... Rochester, where are you going? Back in the firing cabinet, Billingsley's okay. You come here. Now, Mary, that might sound ridiculous to you, but if you could only see... Come in! Now, Mary, if you could only... Hey, Phil! Hiya, Jackson. What are you here for, in a pyramid? I feel like a million bucks, Jackson. I feel like a million bucks myself. Yes, sir. Mr. Morgenthau is going to change that to piasters. Who cares? Hey, Jackson, I sure wish I could have gone with you on that trip. Say, did you get to meet General Montgomery? Did I? No. Mary, I only missed Patton by 45 minutes. Good old blood and guts. Well, tell me something, Jackson. Where'd you go? I mean, what countries were you in? Oh, I was in Egypt, Palestine, Sicily, Persia. That's now called Iran. You know, Persia's called Iran. Let's see, where else? Hey, that reminds me, Jackson. You know, I tried to phone you when you were in Iran. Phone me? Yeah, I put in a Persian to Persian call. We like to tell Alice the kid about this. The kid will punch you right in the nose. But say, fellas, I brought you all some wonderful presents. I'll give them to you later. And listen to this. What do you think I have coming in by boat? Corporal Crowley. Oh, stop with Corporal Crowley. Well, then what is it, Jackson? A camel. No kidding, fellas, a real live camel. He's being shipped to Hollywood. For heaven's sake, Jack. What do you want with a camel? They're marvelous animals. They can work for you. You can ride them. They don't eat much. And you know, fellas, a camel can go eight days without a drink. Chum, that takes willpower. Phil, I'm talking about water. Eight days without water. Well, I can do that. And, old Phil, you've got a lot of talent. But incidentally, kids. Incidently, kids, when I was in Libya... Um, come in. When I was in Libya... There she is right here. Hello, Dennis. Hello, Miss Livingston. Boy, I just had a big dinner. Am I full? You are, eh? Yeah. Say, how is everybody? Oh, I'm swell, Dennis. Never felt better in my life. Yes, sir. Well, what'd you do this summer, kid? Oh, I managed to keep busy helping out and everything. Well... Did you go anywhere this summer, Mr. Benny? I'll be... Dennis, I was all over Africa doing shows. Oh, Vorderville. Yeah, that's where it went. Say, Dennis, you're living in this hotel, aren't you? Yeah, and it's sure nice here. They gave me a swell room with an adjoining. An adjoining? An adjoining what? I don't know. I can't get the door open. Why don't you go upstairs and complain to the desk clerk? Anyway, Dennis, tell me something about yourself. I haven't seen you in three months. Well, I have a surprise for you, Mr. Benny. I might get married. Married? Why, Dennis, I am surprised. How will you two live on what Mr. Benny pays you? Oh, she earns twice as much as I do. She's a sergeant. You're doing all right. Gee, I'm so nervous about getting married. I don't know what to do. Well, maybe I can help, Dennis. Does your girl need a trousseau? Oh, she's got one already. Full field equipment and a 30-pound pack. I'll be... Say, Dennis, how about seeing a song for us? I haven't heard you since our last broadcast. Yeah, come on, Dennis. What do you say? Why don't you come on? Kids, I waited long enough. I'm gonna give you your presents now. Oh, Jack, before you do, there's one more question that I want to ask you about your trip, you know, about the soldiers overseas. The soldiers? What is it, Don? Well, I don't know. Go ahead. Go ahead and ask me. No, no, never mind. I'll ask you later. Oh, Mary, leave the room a moment, will you? Please. Okay. Thanks. Should I go, too? Go, Dennis, you can stay. Hot diggity. Go ahead, Don. What is it about the soldiers? Well, do they eat grape nuts and grape nuts flakes over there? Mary, you can come back now. In answer to your question, Don, yes. Every well-stocked Oasis has them. Well, I'm glad they do because grape nuts and grape nuts flakes both have a sweet-as-a-nut malty-rich flavor. Dennis! No use waiting. I gotta have a talk with that kid. Well, when you do, Jack, be sure to tell him that grape nuts and grape nuts flakes brings you that one distinctive flavor in two delicious forms. I certainly will. Dennis, see me later and bring some sugar and cream, will you? Anyway, kids, I started to say I'm going to give you your presents now. Rochester, have you got all the gifts unpacked? I got them right here, boss. Say, what's this bag of sand? Is that from the Sahara? Yes, that's from Ms. Livingston. It's an hourglass, but the glass broke. Now I don't know what to do with the sand. Just get me a pale and shovel. I'll play in it. Oh, quiet. Rochester, there's a present for you there, too, right at the bottom. I hope the glass didn't break on that one. Rochester, it's nothing to drink. It's a fez. A fez. Now, Dennis... A fez? What's that? It's a red silk hat with a tassel. Oh, boss, calm down. You'll like it. Now, Dennis... Yes, please? Dennis, your gift is coming by boat. Thanks. That's just what I've always wanted. You don't even know what it is. Now, Don... Yes, Jack? Your present is also coming by boat. Yeah, the new writers couldn't think of a gag here. Mary, will you please stop? Say, Mr. Benny, if you went overseas, why didn't you write me a letter? Dennis, he wrote us all letters. Wait till I tell you why we didn't get them. Mary, forget about that, will you? He put the letters in bottles and threw them into the ocean. Oh, that's silly. Isn't it, Miss Livingston? Silly? It's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. Come in. Mary, it's not ridiculous. Rochester, see who's at the door. Okay. Imagine using the Mediterranean as a mailbox. I'll never get over that. Mary, I don't want to hear any more about it. Oh, boss, boss! What is it, Rochester? There's a swordfish here with a special delivery for Miss Livingston. You see? You see? I told you, Mary. I know what I'm doing every day of the week. What do you call it? Well, friends, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Now, don't tell a soul, but I like to eat. I like things that taste good. So when I say grape nuts and grape nuts flakes are grand-eating, I'm not kidding. They have a real zesty flavor, nothing namby-pamby about them. That grape nut's flavor is moldy, rich, and just as sweet as a nut. A grand two-grain blend of sun-ripened wheat and malted barley. Grape nuts brings you this luscious flavor in crisp, crunchy kernels. Grape nuts flakes brings you the same rich goodness in toasty-brown flake form. And both are basic seven foods. For both grape nuts and grape nuts flakes provide whole-grain nourishment, and such cereals are featured in Uncle Sam's Basic Seven Nutrition Program. So when you treat your family to grape nuts or grape nuts flakes at breakfast, you're doing them a double favor, giving them a dish that tastes like a million and providing them with real all-around nourishment. So how about it? Better get some tomorrow. Grape nuts and grape nuts flakes are thrifty, plentiful, not rationed. So you see, kids, there's not much more I can tell you about the trip. Got a lot of boys over there doing a swell job, and they're going to stay till it's finished. But naturally, they want to get home, you know. Well, I can understand that, Jack. So listen, kids, the thing to do is just because a third-war bond drive is over, let's not slow down, that's all. Keep buying them. Keep buying bonds. And now, ladies and gentlemen, as this is the opening of a new season, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my new writer. Corporal Crowley. Oh, Keith Steller. Good night, folks. Corporal Crowley. It now comes to you early Sunday afternoon over most of these same stations. Look it up in your local newspaper. That's those we love. Wee, it's fall, and it's hot grape nut sweetmeal weather, mother. Mmm, for that rich, smooth, luscious, sweetmeal texture. And mmm, for that glorious roasted whole wheat flavor. It's the rich, brown, whole grain, hot cereal member of the famous grape nut family. Grape nut sweetmeal cooked to perfection in just three minutes. Wee, hot grape nut sweetmeal. This program came to you from New York. This is the National Broadcasting Company.