 Disclaimer. This episode, in no way, shape or form, should be taken as legal advice. It is made for entertainment purposes only. If you have legal questions regarding your rights as a tenant, consult a lawyer. Also, this topic was requested by Comrade X. If there is a personal finance topic you would like us to cover, email us at communistfinance at gmail.com. Now, sit back, relax and enjoy the show. Hello, comrades. Today, I'd like to share a special story with you. The story of Bolshevik Bunny's apartment. Our Bolshevik Bunny lived on a farm. But for this bunny, the farm held no charm. Yes, our poor bunny was in quite a slump. He'd look at his farm and think, What a dump! I must do what it takes to get away from this desolate, dark, dusty decay. He thought and he thought and he thought some more, and he cursed the plight of the rural poor. He thought of whiskey, vodka, sangria. Then suddenly he had an idea. I know, I'll move to one of the cities. With paved streets and women with big... He packed up his bag and he packed it up quick. He didn't have much to pack the old hick. He went as far as he ever did go. On the bus to Denver, Colorado. Denver, Colorado? Gee, what a town! Just the place to turn my frown upside down. Now that I'm here at this magnificent height, I must find some place. And some place just right. Interlude one. The right apartment. Looking for an apartment is difficult. Not because it's hard to find apartment listings. There is after all the internet. What's difficult about finding an apartment is that you have to balance three factors. Cost. Quality. And location. As you grow older, you will face many stresses in your adult life. Taxes, debt, the end of democracy. But the biggest stress you are likely to face every day is your commute. You can go faster. You can go faster. Thank you. Get off your phone. When searching for an apartment, you want to prioritize location over quality. Specifically, you want an apartment that is as close to your wage slavery, a.k.a. job, as possible. You also want an apartment that's close to your preferred grocery store, healthcare facility, and Marxist bookstore. Studies have shown that reducing your commute can add years to your life. Unless you grew up wanting to be a truck driver, it's safe to assume you don't want to spend a significant portion of your life in a vehicle. So if you have the option, choose an apartment that's close to all the amenities you're likely to use daily or weekly, even if it's not pretty or new. Although finding a centrally located, decent apartment at a reasonable price is easier said than done. Greetings, good sir. I am landlord Llama. I run this rental with my dear mama. I'd love to serve you this fine afternoon. I will be done with this phone call real soon. Yes, mother dearest, I'll milk them all dry. Spit on dad's grave for me. Love you, goodbye. How may I help you, dear Mr. Rabbit? Mind if I smoke? I can't kick the habit. I'm Bolshevik Bunny. He said with glee. I'd like to rent an apartment. Tee hee. You try rhyming about renting you- My dear Rabbit, you no longer need hunt. I am wonderfully thrilled that you came. To my apartments, they look all the same. A quality establishment for sure. Why don't I give you a quick little tour? The Llama and Bunny climbed the stairs with haste, through hallway strewn with trash and human waste. Until they reached the apartment foretold, its door was covered with specks of black mold. Oh boy, okay. Said Bolshevik Bunny. Is it just me or does it smell funny? Not to worry. That's just a small gas leak. Maintenance will have it fixed by next week. Is that the toilet? It looks like it's broke. We have an outhouse. In there you can smoke. What if the gas catches fire and burns me? Also, this broken door lock concerns me. I assure you, you should not be alarmed. There's no chance on earth that you'll be harmed. I guess you can't beat the location. Said the Bunny with some trepidation. I've seen enough and am ready to rent, though I'm worried about that broken vent. Oh that just broke today due to the frost. It's a quick fix, but let's talk about cost. I bet that it's cheap for how much it sucks. The rent is twelve hundred thirty six bucks. Per month? Screamed the young Bunny in terror. Surely there must be some kind of error. Oh I'm afraid that the rent is quite correct. It's market price. Said the Llama erect. If you don't like the price then you can go. Californians think my rent is low. It shouldn't be hard to find for this slob, a dirty dangerous demeaning job, or two or three to afford life in this slum. I'll be too busy with work to feel calm. So I'll take the apartment, words and all. Wait just a moment. That's not quite your call. Our application is rather thorough for the privilege to live in this burrow. What does applying to live here entail? A credit report, a minor detail. Do you have any prior evictions? History of criminal convictions? There is the slight matter of a small fee. Your income should cover the rent times three. Three times the rent? That's awfully specific. I assure you it's quite scientific. Actually it's not. Interlude to the cost of housing. Often personal finance experts will say that ideally you should only spend 30 to 33 percent of your monthly income on housing and ideally when there's a global pandemic people should be willing to think of others and put on a mask and get a vaccine. Unfortunately we don't live in an ideal world. So the notion that you'll only spend 30 to 33 percent of your income on housing too often is pink. The idea that a specific percentage of your monthly income should go to housing dates back to haphazard studies conducted in the late 19th century. Since the 1970s the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development has known that the 30 percent rule is an unreliable metric for measuring housing affordability. To make matters worse as we explained in our episode on debt the price of goods and services like housing has steadily increased while wages have stagnated. For example in Colorado the minimum wage is over $12 an hour much higher than the federal minimum wage of $7.25 which hasn't changed since 2009. Of course if you wanted to rent a one bedroom apartment in Colorado in 2022 you would need to be making at least $22 an hour. In fact if we followed the 30 percent rule for housing not one single state has a minimum wage high enough to make housing affordable. So clearly the 30 percent rule is a fallacy which might not be a big deal except landlords ask prospective tenants to present proof that their income is three times the rent. So naturally poor and working class people who can only work minimum wage jobs are often barred from decent housing. So what is to be done? Well as communists our suggestion is you know seize the means of production abolish rent and re-educate 98 percent of landlords with extreme prejudice. But while you're waiting for the workers' paradise you'll still need a place to stay. Our best advice is for you to find a roommate someone who can help you shoulder the cost of living. Be careful though whom you pick as a roommate. If your roommate fails to pay their share of rent or damages the apartment you as a co-tenant will also be held responsible. After all both your names are on the lease. Well the hurdles to renting ever cease. All that's left is for you to sign our lease. I can't believe how big this lease form is. The paper wasted is just enormous. It's what it takes to be a tenant. Just sign on the line don't be hesitant. What do these words mean? I haven't a clue. I wish someone could explain it but who? I said I wish someone could explain it but who? You're a mean one Mr. Pig. You've got rats in your hat. You've got blood flies in your anus. You're no David Boreanus Mr. Pig. The three words I would use to describe you are greasy black- what? We're on? Interlude three. Get it in writing. Let's say you found a decent apartment. It's centrally located, has working plumbing and heating and by the grace of marks is somehow affordable. You've passed the application and are ready to move in. If your landlord is mildly competent they will have some form of written agreement for you and them to sign. Usually this is a lease. A lease is a long-term contract for renting a space. A typical lease details how much rent is going to be, when and where rents do, and how long the term of your lease will last. Most leases last one year. A lease gives you stability when renting. When you sign a lease you can expect to stay at that apartment for the agreed upon term assuming you pay your rent on time and don't cook meth in the bathtub. Also a landlord cannot raise your rent until the term of your lease is up and you sign a new one. While a lease may give you stability when renting it is imperative that you read every single word of a lease because some landlords are capable of slipping illegal clauses into their rental agreements clauses such as by signing this lease you waive all rights to working plumbing or by signing this lease you agree to breathe asbestos as your kink. Now to be clear these clauses are illegal under federal law a landlord is responsible for making sure their property is habitable which means their property must have a waterproof roof unbroken windows and doors working plumbing and gas lines running hot water working heating fixtures working light fixtures clean common areas proper waste removal no vermin or pests floors stairways and railings in good repair locks on windows and doors also under federal law a landlord cannot discriminate against a prospective tenant based on race color creed national origin religion sex handicap slash disability familial status or marital status in theory because we are talking about the u.s justice system and this brings up an important disclaimer that we said at the beginning of this episode but we're going to say again now as unqualified as we are to give you personal finance advice we are even less qualified to give you legal advice so unqualified we cannot legally give you legal advice legally we cannot tell you what to do if your water heater bursts and your landlord refuses to fix it but what we can say is there are many credible legal resources you can use to deal with an uncooperative landlord resources like the american bar associations website at american bar dot org which can help you find a lawyer who deals in rental law another excellent resource is the u.s department of housing and urban developments website at hot dot gov this website can help you find your state's rental laws which is especially useful if you're having a hard time getting back your security deposit and a security deposit is 1.5 times the rent thanks for the quiz it's meant to cover undue cost to me like an unpaid month or utility it also pays for any damages there but not those caused by normal wear and tear i must pay this if i want to move here as well as the first month's rent let's be clear well nothing ventured nothing gained said the bunny with his voice sounding pained he signed and paid deposit and rent and to his apartment our bunny went 11 and a half months later i waited all night where the f**k were you i was out with the guys bill randy stew you out with one of your little whores right oh why don't you quit breaking my balls night don't you walk away from me you piece of s**t you keep this up and i'm gonna hit then you'll be just like your piece of s**t dad watch your fat mouth now you're making me mad a fat lip you mean then straight to the moon you you no you no five minutes later i can't take no more i want to move out everyone moves now there's no need to pout please can't we at least stop talking in rhyme we've gone far too far to stop at this time oh fine just let me leave this apartment well we'll miss you at our little tenement let's head right on up and check out your lair the smell of stale urine perfumed the air as llama and bunny went up the stair to the small room of an ending despair there's a small gas leak that simply won't do for that i'll charge 43 52 significant damage to the air vents 127 and 63 cents but last year you said you'd fix that by spring oh i assure you i said no such thing i cannot recollect speaking those words plus an extra fee for cleaning the it appears that the toilet is broken what that will cost is best left unspoken but but it was broken when i got here and you didn't have it fixed for a year don't lie to me these toilets don't come cheap the cut to your deposit will be steep and what's this said the llama with false shock it seems that this door has a broken lock well now that won't do that won't do it all the amount you get back will be quite small this is ridiculous this is absurd i cannot believe the things i've just heard you've said you'd make this place more inviting did you get any of that in writing if you want to get your security deposit back you must do three things one record the apartment's condition when you first move in moving can be stressful after months of searching for a new apartment packing all your belongings into your car and getting lost on the way to your new home all you want to do is move in and be done with it but not so fast comrades before you try and fit that oversized couch through the front door you want to do a thorough inspection of your new apartment before moving in hopefully you already inspected your apartment and made sure it had all the basic necessities so why do you need to do another inspection because you want to establish what your apartment's condition was when you first moved in we at the communist manifesto for personal finance believe that we have dignity oh oh god so we're not going to debase ourselves by going on a long screen about how 98 percent of landlords are scum sucking parasites who rob the working class or how the only difference between a landlord and a pile of manure is that manure actually serves a purpose or how a potted plant could do a landlord's job because landlords don't have jobs sorry to disappoint you comrades but we won't be saying any of those things what we will say is that on occasion landlords have been known to act in bad faith and if you're unfortunate enough to have a bad faith landlord they may try to hold you responsible for damages already done to the apartment before you started living there and then they'll continue not fixing the problem so they can charge the next tenants for the same thing that's why it's important to inspect and document any defects with your apartment before you start living there carpet stains rust peeling paint broken blinds jenki doorknobs write down any minor defect with the apartment and more importantly take pictures once you've documented the issues inform your property manager slash landlord and ask for repairs by doing this you establish a record about what your apartment's condition was before you started living there so that way when you move out you won't be held responsible for the mysterious red carpet stains you saw when you first walked through the door all you'll have to worry about is cleaning up after your own mess which brings us to to establish how clean is clean if your landlord is mildly intelligent they will have a checklist for how clean they want the apartment to be when you leave and to be fair it is your obligation as a tenant to try and clean the apartment to the best of your ability assuming you clean the apartment to the landlord's standards have been a model tenant and the apartment is in good repair excluding normal wear and tear you should get your full security deposit back but again landlords have been known to act in bad faith so that's why it's important to do this last step three know the law again hud.gov is an excellent resource for finding out what your state's rental laws are there you can find out how long your landlord can hold your security deposit and what they can deduct from your deposit for example in the state of colorado a landlord has 30 days to either a return the full security deposit or b return a portion of the deposit with an itemized list of expenses incurred under colorado law if a landlord does not return the deposit to the tenant within 30 days the landlord forfeits all rights to withhold any of the security deposit if you find yourself in a situation where your landlord is clearly violating your state's rental laws it is imperative that you seek legal resources immediately again the american bar association's website at americanbar.org is an excellent resource for finding a lawyer who deals in rental law basically if you want to avoid undue hassle over your security deposit know the law get everything in writing and document your apartment's condition that way you can avoid situations like this my dear rabbit we've made the deductions your apartment is under construction what remains of your deposit is slim yes mother dear i'm almost done with him 128 dollars two cents i have your address i'll send your check hence do you know when we might get that to me i'm afraid the time frame is tbd so our bunny returned to the farm without rent to pay but still without charm he sat by the mailbox and well faucet his meager security deposit all he had left his check was a late thing and he still is waiting still is waiting we hope you've learned of some renting dangers and not to trust landlords who are strangers remember get everything in writing and take clear pictures with decent lighting to our sad little tale we're glad you've been voyeur and when in doubt call a lawyer now dear comrades we've reached a conclusion as always you are the revolution produced in collaboration with fort collins public media if you have comments questions or suggestions for future episodes please email us at communistfinance at gmail.com or follow us on instagram at comrad roark