 I'm the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. And I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's comic weekly time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of part the comic weekly, straight into your living room, your friend, the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. Well, little Miss Honey, how are you today? Oh, I'm just fine. Thank you. How are you? I'm fine, too. Oh, thank you for your valentine. Oh, and thank you very much for the one you sent me. Did you like it? Like the one I sent you? Oh, no, it was different. Oh, you mean did I like the one... You mean like the one I sent you? Yes, yes. Oh, yes, yes, yes. I loved it. I loved it. I loved it. It was very clever. Cupid sliding down the cloud under toboggan, aiming the arrow straight at me. I'm glad you liked it because I made it myself. You did? Yes. Why, I thought it was a famous artist who had made it. You did? Oh, yes. It looks that good. It certainly did. Well, thank you. You're welcome. Now what can I do for you? Now would you please read me the funny? Poct the Comic Weekly? Very well, I'll read that in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Now here we go with Poct the Comic Weekly and on the first page, under bringing up Father, Beatle Bailey. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Tilt me a toot and tweet me a tweetle. Squeeze out music for Bailey the Beatle. Today, Beatle is hard at work stacking bags of laundry at the army post where he's stationed. One of his officers shouts at him. After you stack those laundry bags, you can sweep out the supply room. Beatle grumbles. He's drunk with power. The officer walks out of the room. Then Beatle picks up an empty sack and says, while he's gone, I'll crawl in this bag and get a swell nap before he finds me. A short time later, the laundry truck pulls up to the back door. The truckman jumps out and starts tossing the laundry bags into the truck. Finally, last picture top row, he picks up the last laundry bag. Hey. He tosses it into the truck. This last one's heavy, Joe. It hits the guy in the truck, knocking him over. First picture bottom row, the truck drives along. Beatle, still in one of the laundry bags, sound asleep, snoring and whistling. One of the guys in front says, hi, do you hear a noise back there? The driver answers, all these GIs where they're close so long the stuff can probably talk. They pull up to the laundry. The launderman looks at the load and says, hey, it looks like they sent everything but the kitchen sink. They start to empty the sacks of laundry into a cart. Then they untie the sack that Beatle is sleeping in, turn it upside down, and out tumbles Beatle, still snoring. The launderman takes one look at Beatle and says, back it back and tell him to send the kitchen sink. A few minutes later, fourth picture bottom row, the truck pulls up at the army post again. The driver picks up the laundry sack containing Beatle and says to Beatle's officer, we're returning this one. It didn't have a ticket. And last picture, he dumps Beatle out onto the ground. The officer looks at Beatle who still snores. Too bad. He needs a good wash and the truck driver says, he could use a little starch, too. And Beatle goes, snoring. That fellow sleeps. He really sleeps, doesn't he? Yes, but that's dangerous. Yes, it is sleeping that soundly. Because at the house? You've raised a very good point. Now, if your house ever catches on fire, be sure to yell loud as you can so that you wake everybody up and get help right away. Oh, I would do. What's that? I would never play with matches or try to light the stove. Unless my mother or someone growing up was right close beside me. Well, that pleases me very much. Because when you play with fire, you're playing with danger. And we don't want any child to be in danger, do we? No, no we don't. Well, since you're so good and sensible about fire and matches, I'll do something nice for you right now. Would you like to read Peter Pan? Oh, I certainly would. Very well then. Let's go over the page. Past little iodine. Cross the page. Past Prince Valiant. Turn over that page. And there on page four is Peter Pan. And you remember that Peter had taught the darling children how to fly and they were all on their way to Neverland. Yes, and down below on a ship in a cove, Captain Hook, the ferocious one-armed pirate, has looked through his spyglass and seen Peter approaching. And Captain Hook hates Peter Pan. I wonder what he's going to do. Do you think he'll try to shoot Peter out of the sky? Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go. With Peter Pan. Pirates, crocodiles, Peter Pie Pan. Whisk up music for Never, Neverland. Peter, who's flying through the air, heads for a little cloud and settles down on it. A second later, he's joined by Wendy, Michael and John. Peter points ahead and the darling children look down and see a little island which is Neverland. Peter says, Well, there it is, Wendy. Wendy exclaims, Oh, Peter, it's just as I've dreamed it would be. Yep. There's Mermaid Lagoon and the Indian Camp. Now down below on the ship, Captain Hook looks through his spyglass. He says to his man, Smee, Ah, pretty sight, Mr. Smee. We'll put him like sitting ducks. Last picture top row, Hook's cutthroat crew gathers about him. They aim one of the ship's guns toward the cloud. Hook orders, double the powder and shorter the fuse. Range 42, elevation 65, steady down, fire! Straight for the cloud, the shot goes. First picture bottom row, Peter shouts, Hey, look out! The children jump aside just in time. The shot passes by. Peter turns to Tinkerbell. Hey, quick, Tinkerbell. Take Wendy and the boys to the island. I'll stay here to draw Hook's fire. And away goes Tinkerbell, followed by the children. Wendy shouts, Hey, Tinkerbell, not so fast. But Tinkerbell goes faster and faster toward Neverland. And last picture, the children are left far behind. Wendy shouts, Hey, wait, Tinkerbell, we can't keep up with you. But the spiteful Pixie has whizzed away, leaving Wendy and the boys to struggle helplessly in the sky above Neverland. Tinkerbell will leave the children behind. No, especially not in time of danger. I don't like that Tinkerbell. Why does she act like that? Tinkerbell is jealous because Peter likes Wendy. Well, that isn't nice of Tinkerbell at all because after all Wendy and Peter are just friends. That's right. I wonder whether the children will find their way down to Neverland. Will Peter be safe from Captain Hocken's crook? Well, next week we'll find that out. Hey, Rajesh, because the outlaws captured that little boy Tim. Oh yes, they did. They followed Roy and Doleful Hawkins to town. And they'd killed Doleful's boss and they captured his nephew Tim, that little boy. Yes, yes. And then the leader of the crooks, Fancy Farrow, had sent a phony message to Doleful to trick him into coming to the mine office. That's the office Doleful works for. Yes, but no one at that office is there. And Fancy plans to capture Doleful and do away with him. You think Roy will be able to stop him from doing all these cruel things? Well, let's read now and find out. Now, first, let's go across the page, turn over that page, then go past the long ranger on page six. And there on page seven, under Bonnie Google is Roy Rogers, king of the cowboys. Hi-yip-yo. Now, here we go with Roy and Trigger. Hi-yip-yo. At the outlaws hideout, Creaky and Bullwhip are having trouble with the boy Tim, who was mighty rambunctious. Fancy Pharaoh gallops up. Seeing the boy, he exclaims, Blast it, what's Doleful Hawkins' nephew doing here? You two loco? Creaky answers. Well, we had to grab him, boys. He's seen us sneaking out of the Bratton Freight office. If he blabs, they'll know we killed Hank Bratton. What? Last picture, Topper, O'Farrow snaps. Lock the kid in the shack that we take care of Hawkins. I'm deploying the old coot to the Tomahawk line with a phony message. When we drag Gulch him, now Bratton Freight line is finished. First picture, bottom row, Roy is trailing the outlaws. Suddenly, he sees something appear in the sky. He exclaims, Hey, something just shot up in the air by those trees. Let's go, Trigger. In a few minutes, Roy is approaching the shack where the outlaws hideaway is. He sees an arrow shoot out of the chimney. Hey, what's this? An arrow with a string and cloth tied to it. In a second, Roy is out of the saddle and running to the shack. Last picture, he breaks in the door. Tim Hawkins. Say, shooting those arrows out of the chimney was a smart way to attract attention, son. Hey, Fancy Farrow and his pole cats locked me in here, Roy. They're gonna bush-wake Uncle Doful. We gotta save him. Well, let's hope so. Wasn't all of them neat? Yes, you bet it was. And it's good that Roy saw them before the outlaws did, too. Yes. And now Tim can tell Roy what the outlaws are up to. But do you think that Roy will catch up to Uncle Doful? Well, we'll have to wait until next week to find that out. But now let's hop over to Dagwit and Blondie. Oh, and here's the section. All right. And here we go on the first page of the second section of Puck the Comic Weekly with Dagwit and Blondie. Ram-a-foo, Ram-a-fum, Zim-Zam-Zombie. Conjimi music for Dagwit and Blondie. Dagwit wakes up early in the morning, lifts his head, and then lets it fall back on the pillow. I'm a sick man. In a second, Blondie's in the bedroom beside him. I've got every ache known to science. I got sharp pains and dull pains. I think I'm a goner. Oh, you poor deer. Last picture, top row, she puts her arms around Dagwit. We'll make a hospital room out of this bedroom. First, we'll move the bed out of the draft. Come on, get out of bed. Now, push the bed across the room. Blondie. Dagwit, do you want to die of pneumonia? No. Then push the bed across the room. All right. First picture, second row, Blondie says. Now, Dagwit, go next door and borrow the Woodley's heating pad and the electric vaporizer and their sick bed tray. All right. Five minutes later, Dagwit's at the Woodley door. Herb Woodley is handing him the heating pad, sick bed tray, and the vaporizer. Herb says, hey, you look terrible, Dagwit. Dagwit stares at Herb in amazement. Really? Last picture, second row, Dagwit enters the house. Blondie hands him a piece of paper. Now, Dagwit, run to the drugstore and get this list of things and hurry, we've got to get you back in bed. Am I that sick? Ten minutes later, first picture, third row, Dagwit is in the drugstore. The drugst reads the list that Blondie has made out, then turns to Dagwit sympathetically. Well, be seated while I get these things for you. Oh, you'll need every ounce of strength you have to pull through this. Dagwit sits down weekly. The girl behind the counter says, ten minutes later, Dagwit at home comes upstairs. He heads for his bedroom, followed by Blondie, her arms full of medicine. Now, Dagwit, get back in bed quickly. While I prepare a hot mustard bath for you. Last picture, third row, Dagwit is in bed again. Blondie enters carrying a big tub. Here's your hot foot bath, dear. Suddenly, Dagwit sits up. I've had enough of this. He leaps out of bed. First picture, bottom row, dashes are on the room. I'm the healthiest man on this street. I can whip my weight in Wildcats. And ten minutes later, all dressed up, Dagwit turns to Blondie as he fixes his tie. Cool up the boss and tell him I'll be down to work after all. Blondie folds her hands demurely and bats her pretty eyelashes. Oh, Dagwit, I have a confession. I didn't call him in the first place. I knew you'd go in. Last picture, Dagwit comes out of the house, a bright smile on his face as he goes down the walk. And he says proudly, Nobody's going to make an invalid out of me. Yes, and then when everybody tells him how awful he looks, he gets mad because they think he looks terribly sick. And then he gets up out of bed and says he's not going to be sick and he goes to work. Oh, what a man. What a man. Well, now let's turn over the page and see who's there. Yes, your friend Donald Duckle, and I'll read him in just a moment. But first, here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly and on the second page of the second section, Donald Duck. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Say them with me, please. Squeeze them, squeeze them, squeeze the ticket check. Let's have music to fit a quack-quack. It's breakfast time in the Donald Duck household. Donald looks so exhausted that his eyelids droop, his hair droops and his ears droop. His nephew Dewey says, Gee, what's the matter, Uncle Donald? Oh, I walked in my sleep again seven nights in a row. Gee, that's tough. The boys tell Donald they've got a scheme to stop him from sleepwalking, so that night they tuck Donald into bed. Dewey says, Well, good night, Uncle Donald. Just relax. We'll take care of everything. Donald yawns. Good night. No sooner has he gone to sleep than the boys see him sit up, hold out his arms, and begin to mumble for his picture-bottom row. What nice walk in the park. The boys see he's about to walk in his sleep, so Dewey says, Let's go. He's on his way. Second picture-bottom row, the boys are outside the house. The door opens and out walks Donald in his sleep. Dewey says, Okay, man, this is it. Come on. Third picture-bottom row, Louis aims a garden hose at Donald, and turns on the water. They soak Donald. Donald turns around and walks back in the house, still in his sleep. They turn off the water. Dewey says, I did it. And Huey exclaims, Yeah, he's going back to- All of a sudden, the last picture out of the house comes Donald still in his sleep, carrying an umbrella. Down the steps, he comes, heading for a walk in the park. And the boys go, Oh, isn't that funny? Yes, the boys thought they could cure Donald of his sleepwalking habit by squirting water out. Instead, yes. He's some fellow there, Donald. Yes, he's some fellow there, Donald. Now look across the page. There's another nice fellow. Oh, yes, America was a famous pirate. Yes, the famous pirate, Jean Lafitte. And the British and the Americans are at war, and the British are trying to get Jean Lafitte to help fight the Americans. They even offered him lots of money. Yes, and Dick and the Major, his friend, were captured by the pirates and taken to their city in the swamp lands. But Dick and the Major managed to escape from the place in a little boat. Well, I wonder if they'll be able to get away because Dick and the Major do not know that country at all. I wonder if they'll be able to find their way out. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Dick's adventures. Say the magic words with me. We'll make it a pack-a-zack-a-zick. Let's have music for adventure this Dick. Dick and the Major make their way through the dense swamps in one small boat seeking to find a way out of the swamp, hoping to get to General Jackson and inform him of the meeting between the English and the pirates. They find that they're lost. Triers, they will. Dick and Ville find themselves only plunging deeper into the bewildering maze of bayous. First picture, second row. At nightfall, they find themselves in an impenetrable forest of reeds and swamps. They decide to make camp on a small island. They build a pyre and, for supper, prepare a wild fowl which Major Ville has been lucky enough to trap. Last picture, second row, they've made themselves a crude bed and have fallen asleep for the night. So soundly do they sleep. They don't hear a boat grow up to the bank or figures moving toward them, and then they are rudely awakened. Hey, what's the matter? Hey, let me go, will ya? Oh, they try to find a way out Hey, let me go, will ya? Oh, they try to struggle to find themselves captured by pirates and Jean Lafitte himself faces them first picture, bottom row. Ah, good morning, my friends. They are led to a boat-class picture. Lafitte gets into the boat and then says to them, so you are going to General Jackson to tell him that I, Jean Lafitte, amitretheur who has promised to help the British attack New Orleans? Very well, mes amis. I shall go with you and tell him myself even though he has been foolish enough to threaten to hang me if I come. Yes, the pirates caught up with Dick and the major and have captured them. Oh, it's too bad. That is kind of mysterious, isn't it? Yes, it is. Well, I don't know. I can't figure this out myself. I'm afraid we'll have to wait until next week to find this out. But now look below Dick's adventures. There's Rusty Riley. Oh, yes. Helping a man who says he's a magician. Yes, a man who calls himself the Great Necro. And Rusty thinks that Necro might be one of the crooks who's planning to do something bad to Mr. Dooley. And Stovepipe, Rusty's friend, has told him to keep the job with the Great Necro so Rusty can keep his eye on the crook. Now let's see what happens. Here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. As the sideshow is being set up where Rusty is to work, he watches the workman. His friend Stovepipe gives him a final bit of advice. Life under carnival art is not exactly a bed of roses, Rusty. Now just keep your eyes open and your mouth shut. Rusty goes into the tent. Good morning, Mr. Necro. Oh, here's the pair of cufflinks you asked me to buy. There's 20 cents change. Oh, thanks, kid. Keep the change. Now get into your uniform. Last picture top row, Rusty is all dressed up in a pages uniform. He says, Hot dog, this is some outfit. I wonder what a magician's assistant's supposed to do. Meanwhile, first picture bottom row, outside another tent, Necro is talking to his friend who is a fortune teller with a carnival and whose partner respects in his crooked scheme. Now look, Beagle. Dooley fancies himself as a poker player and he's superstitious. Now sooner or later, he'll bone a free reading from you. Make him think his fortune's so good he can't lose. Beagle answers. Yeah, I get it. And then you get him into a nice friendly game. Right. And when my cards plus my tricks specs, we'll own this carnival in a week. Okay. Now you better get into your show, duds. It's nearly open in time. Meanwhile, inside the dressing room, Rusty is looking at Necro's dressing table. Gee whiz, Mr. Necro must have forgot his glasses. Oh, no, no. These are different. These must be sunglasses. Rusty tries the glasses on. Hey, these don't seem like regular sunglasses. They're kind of purplish. Last picture, Necro comes into the tent. Well, kid, we'll have to hurry a bit. Hey, what are you doing to those glasses? Give them here. And don't touch them again. Rusty tried on. They must have something to do with Necro's evil scheme. Necro said something about trick specs. But specs is another name for glasses, isn't it? Yes, it is. And he said that by using them, he might be able to own the pair. And by using them, he might be able to own the carnival in a week. I wonder if that could happen. That's something we'll have to wait to find out. We'll learn more about that next week. But now it's time for Flash Gordon. Oh, yes, and I need to flash. Very well. Let's turn over the page. Go past Buzz Sawyer on page four, turn over to page five, and look, on page six, there's Flash Gordon. And you remember that flash is on the planet Venus, and he had overcome that tyrant King Stang before the planet. That's right, but in the midst of the big elections, Stang slipped away when he saw his man couldn't be elected. And Flash and Dale have gone after him in a rocket ship. I wonder whether they'll catch him. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Flash Gordon. Trigarigadoondoon, Sascha Matash. Let's set music for heroic flash. Flash and Dale are hot on the trail of Stang and Kaga, who are seeking to escape. Flash sees the rocket ship ahead of him, disappear into the cavern world inside Venus. Boldly, Flash follows Stang into the forbidden cavern world. The guards think Flash is with the ruler rather than pursuing him, and hold their fire. And then they discover their mistake. But it's too late to stop the thundering jet car. Last picture top roll, the burst of fire from the guards is Kaga's first warning that Flash has followed him into his underground domain. Kaga swings his ship around, then loses a volley of flame blasts. But Flash's skillful maneuvers make his speed run faster and Flash's skillful maneuvers make his speeding craft an elusive target. First picture bottom roll, Flash sees that Kaga's shots are coming closer. Quickly, Flash adjusts his ship's exhaust to make it pour out a heavy screen of smoke. His course hidden for the moment, Flash makes a sharp turn into one of the vast uncharted caverns. As the sound of pursuit dies, Flash spots a glimmer of light ahead, approaching closer, they are amazed to see below them a weird crystal city of light. They decide to take a chance and land. And last picture, they are greeted eagerly by the city's glass people, a strange race of silicon eaters whose skin is like smooth pink glass. The leader of them, a beautiful woman approaches. Thrill welcomes you to her city. But Flash is wary as he steps from his jet car. Are these people enemies of the tyrant Kaga? Or allies? The smoke come out of his rocket ship? Yes, that way no one could see where he was going. Yes, and I hope that these people that he meets in this unusual city will be friendly to them. You think they will? Well, that's something we'll have to find out next week. Now, that's all the time I have. But before I go, here's a nice fellow with interesting information. In all your boys and girls, I've got to go now. All right, Mr. Comic Weekly Man, but next week... Okay, that's a date. And a date with all your boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with a little friend, Miss Honey, next week when I read Puck the Comic Weekly. For I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man.