 I'm an everyday woman, woman, woman In every way, yeah, yeah I'm living my life, life, life Living day by day Welcome to Every Way Woman There are some major changes happening in the talk show world Live from Los Angeles, here's Every Way Woman Apologize too much Welcome to Every Way Woman So at what point is saying I'm sorry past being polite? I've noticed that women are apologizing for everything Is it too much, Amber? I think it's too much I had a friend that apologized every second of the day I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I have something on your foot I'm sorry And I just got tired of it and I told her one time I said stop saying sorry And she was like, you know, appalled by the fact that I told her to stop saying sorry Well, I think even apologies, the I'm sorry has lost the actual meaning of being sincere and being sorry because we hear it so many times I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I think it's not real I have to say I'm sorry because of my clients when I do hair and makeup If I do something and they don't like it I'm sorry, let me change it What? In a relationship I'm sorry What if you do that makeup and you know it look good Are you going to say like, I'm sorry What is that cut off, that limit part of saying I'm sorry Let me go ahead and change it I'm like, I'm sorry I'm an instructor and I did have a student approach me and say, you know, for someone who teaches us to be confident and to believe in ourselves and put ourselves out there I noticed that you say you're sorry a lot What did she called you out? Yeah, and it took me back and I had to think about it, I was like, whoa And then when I was hearing myself and then I was self-conscious about it every time I said it And so I think, yeah, definitely I was saying it too much without really being conscious Cheryl See, I don't actually volunteer that many of them unless it's something that is truly sincere Right I have no problem admitting when I've done something wrong and I will definitely apologize for that But in terms of just peppering speech with them Absolutely not Do you think that comes from your expertise as a human relations professional? You know what, maybe, maybe it does I mean, I can think of a perfect example There was a person at my church who asked me if I would be willing to volunteer to sit on a particular committee I told her I would get back to her because I wasn't going to just, you know commit to it right away and ultimately she came back to me and for that I did apologize because the answer was no So that's No, and I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm not going to be able to participate I have a couple of stories that may work together because I took my niece out for a play date and I had left because it was for kids and when I came back one of the teachers came up to me and said your daughter, my niece but she said your daughter won't apologize to this child and she has to leave and I said okay well let me tell her that she needs to apologize you need to say you're sorry and she said no and I said why not you have to say you're sorry and she said why I'm not sorry Why should I have to say I'm sorry and I didn't really fully get the full story of what happened but I noticed years later I ran into the same situation with my daughter and I thought maybe it was just that child but it was also my own child and she came to me no, I don't want to say I'm sorry and I said honey you have to say you're sorry and I was teaching her that she needed to say she was sorry even though she was not sincere about it Right, so should we do that to children even as ourselves to force somebody to say sorry to us if they don't necessarily mean it I would do that to get out of situations I mean I'll admit it I will give an apology even if I'm not truly sincere about it and in a way I know I'm just servicing myself The person feels that though The person feels that You're not sincere about that No, I'm good actor I'm just kidding I'm just kidding All my sorries are being sincere to you I'll be okay I'll be clarified But you know what that actually brings up a good question because how do you because obviously we need to teach our kids, our daughters our little girls but our kids in general we need to teach them how to give us sincere apology but then is it you know youthful stubbornness or is it a custom that we're teaching them it's customary to say I'm sorry I'm gonna make them long and try to abuse them Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry Well baby, you know and it does sometimes the more women apologize the more vulnerable or weak sometimes will appear and a wise man once told me he said a woman shouldn't apologize for nothing Who wise man is that? Yeah And if you available But listen to the point in that is you shouldn't apologize for who you are And I think so many people do that they'll apologize for being successful they'll just apologize for their situation and like as a way of sympathizing with somebody but that's not the thing we should be ashamed of Anna, what do you think? I think, like I said in relationships I'm not sorry because it is women and you can't expect them for who I am but at least why do you deserve a chance with me? You're so strong in that I really am But did your mom teach you that? I mean what in you she told me to be myself but sometimes I have to admit the real part inside of me you know when I am alone it's like man like why are they like are they intimidated by me or what like do I have to play dumb or something to get a good guy like So it brings out almost like an insecurity in me It does, it does but then I stop for a minute there I'm like screw that I'm not sorry Next time you say you are sorry and you get to don't even mention it you're sorry I mean okay but I'm the subject of apologies is it appropriate to ask or demand an apology from somebody? Yes You know absolutely if someone has treated you in a manner that you know is unacceptable for you then you need to let them know about it and you need to let them know it's like hey we need to start fixing this and here is how I expect you to fix it you know obviously own whatever part of it you need to but absolutely Well then if you know it's okay it's okay not to have friends all the time not everybody has to be your friend and I'm on the same page with you because at some point you don't tell somebody hey you need to apologize to me because you hurt my feelings you may not know why but it happens and but let me explain to you that absolutely so it's got to be followed up with an explanation I don't know you guys do you know we're all thinking let me start right now let me tell you I think we all meditated at that moment I know but you know there's a lot of wisdom in that because I'm you know I'm in a situation now where I'm I have a friend he's a young man and he's I'm somewhat displeased with his behavior and at one point I almost just threw the talent said you know what screwed I'm out and then I said you know what I haven't given him I haven't informed him of what the actual problem is so I need to give him the opportunity to make it right before I just check in the town or have you ever done the classic apology where you don't know what you've done wrong but it must have been something I am so sorry for whatever I did but I'm sorry you're not wrong I'm sorry I'm sorry okay well lesson learned apologize when you need it stay tuned for more Everyway Woman when we come back from this break thanks for watching yeah coming up next more Everyway Woman are you an Everyway Woman as women we take care of everyone else but we often choose to forget to take care of ourselves Dr. Sherry Thomas is here to talk to us about the importance of checkups and taking care of ourselves thank you Dr. Thomas for joining us I'm going to be the first to say I don't take care of myself why should women go to the doctor well if you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of everybody else that is true that is true but again so when I decide to go to the doctor what should I be asking my doctor since I've taken so long to get there well if you haven't been there for a year you need to think about just a yearly exam a yearly checkup so women over 21 need to check their blood pressure their cholesterol have a pap smear and a pelvic exam and then the doctor should go over different screening risks for you your family history do you have a family history of high blood pressure diabetes are you up to date on your immunizations and then ask you about other things such as do you exercise do you eat well and do you smoke now when you ask all those questions that would mean that a woman would need to know her body how can we educate our women on knowing their bodies well think about your body in terms of anything else you've maintained think about what you've heard and what your other girlfriends say and also online you can look at these based on your age of what you should have checked we all know once we hit 20 we should start doing breast exams we all know once we become sexually active we should start having pelvic exams and being screened for sexually transmitted diseases we all know once we hit 50 or we should know we need screening for colon cancer very common cause of death in women so the other day I did an exam for myself and I felt the lump and I still haven't gone to the doctor because I'm making those excuses of not going too busy et cetera when I get to the doctor usually they have me come in and out what are some of the questions that I can ask the doctor to let them know I need your time I need you spend some quality time with me you want to be specific you're making so focus on your breast and not I also have earache and I might have a cold today can you look at that focus on your lump and your breast tell him or her how long it's been there do you have a family history of breast cancer when was your last mammogram and that I do breast exams every month and this is new or you know I just saw a show and I saw on this breast exam and this has been there maybe just a week or two but you know I just sometimes it's so difficult going to the doctor because you don't feel like your physician is an advocate and you feel like they just throw you in there they feel on you and they send you out how will I know if I'm with the right doctor or how do I find a doctor that will be an advocate for me oh that's an even better question then what to focus on for that little appointment physician assistant but find a primary care provider who you feel comfortable talking to that you can tell this person everything you can tell them all these intimate details that you're going to need to tell them things that you might not tell your mother or your sister or your best friend because they need to know that and they need to listen so that they can help you get through whatever it is you're going through so my daughter is going to go to college what do I tell her when she's in another state about looking for a doctor should I be involved in the process or should I just let her handle it well one of the things she'll ask is her friends which is what we do yes you have a doctor you like and so they've been screened there's also ways online we can look at credentials of the doctor and then meet the doctor and see if you like the doctor or the nurse practitioner or whomever has several different healthcare providers but that's so impersonal but you know actually you get some great doctor I have some friends that have worked at different university programs and you get some great doctors too but they have a lot of the nurses their friends will say go see this person they'll get this taken care of and it's actually geared more towards students and not somebody might but I think the message is the most important thing is that she needs to go to the doctor or mother and wait to the last minute right she needs to take care of herself there you go know where it is know what their hours are knowing if they're not there you need to go to the emergency room know where the local emergency room is or find a doctor in town that everybody else calls when they're closed on Saturday or Sunday okay well I have to tell you you've inspired me I am going to go to the doctor I'm going to make an appointment go to the doctor don't be like me go to the doctor stay tuned for more every way woman we will be right back I don't know what I will do I just are you in every way we'll be back with everyday fitness are you in every way woman all right so clear some space in your living room because Lisa is going to show us training in your very own home this is every way woman some of you don't think you can get a good workout at home but it's easier than you think and there are a lot of benefits so Lisa Snow is here to tell us all about them Lisa so what do we need to get a good workout at home well really at home you already have your equipment and so you don't have to get a good workout and then you can do anything you want with it is this something like this expensive or no it's not compared to gym membership or there you constantly paying yeah it's a one time payment and you can use it however you want okay so what do I do with it so this is a bousu and you can use it standing this side of your core and stabilize you put your hands on the floor and you just extend your feet out and bring them in tighten your core as you do it and you can do so many reps you can do until you have a burnout or you can do three sets of ten you might be a little less reps than you think I mean how advanced do I have to be let me figure this thing out it's all to your level so if you first starting out and you put your hands on the floor tighten your core and just make sure you're contracting every time you pull your new thing oh every time that's all you need to do exactly and the cool thing is that when you're at home and say oh I can't really buy a bousu right now I don't know how to do it you can just grab some pillows off your couch and I'm sure you have pillows on your couch and you can still do this and when your feet go out they're not on the ground like they would be if you're flat and you do the same thing contract your core and since you have two pillows on each top of each other it makes you have the same resistance now is this an alternative to this or do I need both things it's an alternative okay yes if you don't feel like buying a bousu right away and you want I know you're doing great that's awesome just as long as you keep contracting the core and you have your stabilization you're all set okay what do I do with the weight dumbbells I love dumbbells because you can work out any part of your body you can do the normal curls I thought you were talking to me you can do the normal curls you can do the shoulders you can even do the legs you can lift anything you want cool thing if you have them you can actually use cans of soup you can use water bottles and even if they're light the more repetitions you have the harder the work out okay so you're going to grab the dumbbells what's a good like standard weight for people to have should I do starting off you can yep bicep curls okay soften your knees a little bit make sure you're not hyper extending and there you go okay okay good time so and if it's light and you say you ask what kind of weight that you start with you can start with five pounds you can start a little heavier if you want but the lighter it is you have to up the reps well that's what I'm thinking I mean you say soup cans I mean how many reps do I have to do like I would be doing it for like 100, 200 reps just a you're at home so turn on some soaps or turn on like oh good take a break put it down but you know what if you don't think you had a good enough workout drop do some pushups pick the soup cans back up keep going so you never still keep that heart right up yep keep the heart right up and you're all good okay what else should I do with these dumbbells so what else you can do is you can it makes your chest stay up and you're going to work on our legs so you can squat down and push back up okay exactly when you're squatting you make sure that your knees don't go past your toes and it's almost like you're trying them cracking oh my gosh I'm old and you can actually if you're just learning how to do this you can use a chair so the goal is to like you're about to sit in a chair you put your bottom back and down and you keep ideally you can get a 90-degree angle with your knees but if you're just starting out again until you feel the pressure and just push right back okay well these are some great tips and you know if you can't make it out to the gym you have no excuses to pull out the soup cans we'll be back with more Every Way Woman thanks so much for coming thank you thanks for getting to know Every Way Woman this has been an Every Way Woman production I'm an everyday woman woman woman in every way yeah yeah I'm living my life life life living day by day you in every way woman