 The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens a program with, I wonder who's kissing her now that I'm drafted. Tomorrow morning, thousands of housewives will say to their grocers, Jell-O, please. And tomorrow night at dinner, thousands of families will say Jell-O, please it. Because, ladies and gentlemen, it certainly does. Jell-O is a fang of good dessert, a swell treat that everyone likes right from the very first shimmering spoonful. The vivid colors of Jell-O give this attractive dessert a bright tempting beauty that no other dessert can surpass. And the Jell-O's intriguing flavor is just as refreshing as the juicy ripe fruit itself. Jell-O is delightfully easy to make too. It dissolves instantly in lukewarm water and sets in the twinkling of an eye. And Jell-O costs so little, you can afford to enjoy it as often as you please. By the way, strawberry, raspberry and cherry Jell-O now tastes better than ever. Each has a new, improved flavor obtained by using a natural flavor base artificially enhanced. And the result is something mighty delicious. So try a rich, glistening mold of Jell-O tomorrow. That was, I wonder who's kissing her now that I've moved to Glendale, played by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pride and pleasure that I present to you a man who next Friday, May the 9th, celebrates his 10th anniversary in radio, Jack Benny. Thank you. Thank you. My goodness. Well, Jell-O again, this is Jack Benny talking, and John, my goodness. Josh, fellas, I'm really getting a send-off here. It's a wonderful tribute. Jell-O again, this is Jack Benny talking, and, Don, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your thoughtful introduction. You know, I'd almost forgotten about my 10th anniversary, but now Phil, don't overdo it, you little rascal. Gosh, this reception has made me all choked up here. Look, my big blue eyes are full of tears. Have you got a handkerchief, Mary? No, here's a blotter. Never mind, I'll leave the tears in my eyes. It makes me look like Betty Davis. But no kidding, fellas, all this fuss and everything about my radio birthday is more than I expected. Really, I don't deserve it. Ah, yes you do, Jackson. Why, certainly, you're a pioneer in radio, and you're worthy of this recognition. That's right, Jack. You've got it coming to you. Well, thanks again, fellas, but I, uh, I, uh, gosh, I don't know what to say. I feel like a fool. Look, I'm blushing. Hooray, you've got blood. I'm just excited, that's all. Naturally, I'm unflustered. Well, that's perfectly natural, Jack. After all, we're making great big fuss over you, and you've always been so modest and unassuming. Well, not always, Don. There are times when I'm a little on the hammy side. Of course, it doesn't show, but, uh, but it's there, eh, Mary? Well, if you ask me. Who asked you? Go away, Mary, please. Yeah, leave him alone, Mary. Say, Jackson, when you started out in radio, I bet you never thought you'd last 10 years, did you? You said it, Bill. 10 years in this business is a long time. See, I'll never forget how nervous I was on my first broadcast. There I stood, 24 years old and scared to death, isn't it? Oh, boy, what I went through. Uh, what was that age again? 37. Anyway, fellas, as I started to tell you that first broadcast was really a thrill. There I stood shaking like a lead. Nervous, huh? Why, Don, I couldn't even hold the script. I thought I was gonna faint, but the announcer came over, put his arm around me and said, take it easy, son. There's nothing to worry about. Just step up to that microphone and show him what you can do. And good luck to you, lad. See, he was a nice guy. By the way, Jack, who was the announcer on your first broadcast? Peter the Hermit. Now, cut that out. Mary, for heaven's sake, when you please try and remember that this is my 10th anniversary. All right, fellas, thanks, thanks. You can stop with that. I'm a jolly good fellow. Now, let's forget it. Now, where was I? You were telling us about your first radio program. Yeah, what product were you selling in them days, Jackson? Well, I was on the air for burgers, black beauty, buggy whips. Buggy whips? And this was only 10 years ago? Well, old man Burger was trying to bring back the horse. Gosh, I'll never forget that program. We had a theme song and everything. Same song? Yeah, I even remembered it. What like this? Let's see. What was that melody? Oh, yes. Jump up a bump, bump, bump, bump. Won't you buy our buggy whips? You will find that they are pips. If you want your horse to jump, he will go colump colump. When you hit him on the rump with a burger buggy whips, it really snatched. Of course, of course, fellas, that doesn't sound like anything now. But if you could have heard those eight voices behind me and a team of horses winning, I tell you it was sensational. Jack, whatever made you leave that program. Oh, it was one of those things. I went up to see old man Burger one day about a raise and he with me with a burger buggy. But enough reminiscing about my early days. It's probably boring. Everybody. No, no, this is very interesting, Jack. What program did you go on after burgers buggy whips? Well, from there, I went on one of those early morning dramatic shows, the heartbreak of Hortense Hooligan. I used to break her heart every morning at 7am. I was pretty good. Oh, I remember that program, Jack. Were you the leading man? Yes, sir. That was me. I remember that show, too. It was awful. It was awful, Mary. Why'd you listen to it? Why didn't you turn it off? I was such a little girl and I couldn't reach the dial. Mary, that was only nine and a half years ago. And if I remember correctly, young lady, you didn't have any trouble peeking over that hosiery counter. Anyway, John, if I had kept up with my dramatic work today, I might have been one. Hello, Dennis. Hello, Mr. Bunny. Congratulations on your anniversary. Thank you, Dennis. Oh, by the way, Dennis, you haven't signed your contract yet for next season. Did you speak to your mother like I told you? Yes, I did. Well, what'd she say? She said it's not worth the Kleenex it's written on. Dennis, in the first place, it's not written on Kleenex. And in the second place, let me give you a little advice. On my first radio job, I made the same mistake you did. I went to my boss, asked him for a raise and he whipped me. Well, beat me, daddy. I want one too. Dennis, there's no time to talk about money. It's my anniversary. Now that you're here, let's have you song. Okay. All in a minute. Come in. Telegram for Jack Benny. Take it, Mary. All right, buddy, what are you waiting for? Did you ever hear about tipping or do I have to enlighten you? Oh, yes, a tip. Here's a dime for you. I'm sorry I overlooked it. Oh, guys not. Mary, who's the telegram? It's from Fred Allen. Fred Allen. What's the matter with you? Allen is not a jolly good fellow. All right, Mary, what's he got to say? Dear Jack, congratulations. And I knew you'd leave your print and radio. You're just the healer can do it. What a wrap. Why do I let him get away with that stuff? Why don't I do something about it? Why don't I beat him up? Cause you're a coward. Oh, yes, that's it. Sing, Dennis. Mary, say that wire. I'm going to send him 10 awful words. And lovely world we knew has been struck by a bitter frost. But my sister and I recall with a sigh. The world we knew and love and love. My sister and I, a tulip gone, and the home that was all talk about that. My sister and I, the fishing schooner, and that you're caught in the world in days before. But we don't talk about that. We're learning to forget the fear that came from a troubled time. We're almost happy, but sometimes we wait. My sister and I sung by Dennis Day, our own Irish nightingale. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'm not a nightingale, Mr. Benny, I'm Irish, though. I know you are, Dennis. I just called you a nightingale as a figure of speed. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I know, I know it's a bird. It happens to be a bird that sings beautifully. Why, I called you a nightingale. Men are the compliment, that's all. And now, ladies and gentlemen, are you mad because I'm not a bird? No, believe me, Dennis, I'm very happy that you're almost human. And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's a wonderful feeling, isn't it? Certainly is. And now folks, tired of saying, ladies and gentlemen, and now folks in response to a number of requests, Mr. Don Wilson, the eminent American playwright, has written another of his famous one-act play. Take it, Mr. Wilson. The scene, ladies and gentlemen, is the home of Mr. and Mrs. Boyle Heights in the little town of 8 Plant, Missouri. It is 9 a.m. and as the curtain rises, Mr. Heights, who is a haberdasher, is dashing to his half. Well, curtain music. Well, goodbye, dear. I'm off to work. Give me my bear trap. I want to get customers today. Here you are, Boyle. Thank you, dear. By the way, dear, what are we having for dessert this evening? I thought we'd have jello, dear. Jello, dear? Oh, I'll stop at our neighborhood Gloucester, dear, and buy a package. Is jello berry, dear, dear? No, it's economical, dear, and easy to make. And it comes in six delicious loafers, dear. Strawberry, dear, raspberry, dear, cherry, dear, orange, and a lime, dear. Well, I better be going, dear. Take your umbrella. It looks like rain, dear. That sounded a little corny, dear. I think I will. Goodbye, dear. Goodbye, dear. Well, he's gone. You come out of the closet now, dear. Here I am, dear. Kiss me. What is this? So, Mr. and Mrs. Heights' son, who hasn't seen his daddy for years, comes out of the closet. Oh. And will Mr. Heights be in for a surprise that evening when he comes home with a jello? All right. Thank you. Very good. That was excellent. You know, Don, dear, or Don, that was one of the cleverest plays you've ever written. It's got suspense and everything. It's one of those plots that you just can't wait to see what's going to happen. Well, as a matter of fact, Jack, I wrote a second act to it. The scene where you come home to dinner that same evening. And meet my son. Well, let's do it. Come on, Mary, set the scene, Don. OK. It's seven o'clock that evening, ladies and gentlemen, and Mr. Boyle Heights is returning home after a busy day trapping customers. Curtain, music. My husband, quick, dear. Hide under the sofa. OK, dear. Quick. Come in, Boyle. Ah, good evening, dear. Hello, dear. Did you work hard today? Yes, dear. And my feet is killing me. Well, what's the surprise, dear? What surprise, dear? Our son, dear. Isn't he anxious to see his daddy? What son, dear? Our son, dear, that was hiding in the closet, dear. Where is he? Uh, did you bring the jello, dear? Never mind that. Now, there's no use lying, dear. I'm going to open that closet and find out who's in there. Now, open that door, or I'll shoot. Aha! Who are you? Believe it or not, I'm a nightingale. Dennis, my son! On that second night was certainly a sweat. Oh, I've got a third act, Jack. We're later that same evening. Well, thanks, Don. But it's too good for this program. That's theater gill stuff. Hey, Phil, it's time for a band number. What's it going to be? Well, Jackson, we're going to play a real old timer tonight in a swell tone. It's called Ida, Sweet as Apple's Sidest. Say, that is a good tune. You know, when I did my violin act in vaudeville, Ida used to be one of my feature numbers. It'd be nice hearing it again. Go ahead, Phil. Oh, say, Jack, just being your anniversary, I think we ought to put the spotlight on you tonight. Now, how about playing a chorus of Ida on your fiddle? On my fiddle? Oh, say, I might at that. Don had opened his big, fat mouth. Well, Don's got a little sentiment in him. That's more than you have. Phil, can I borrow a fiddle from one of your violinists? You ask him. He doesn't speak English. Never mind. I'll use my own. I happen to have it right here under my arm. Oh, wait a minute. I'll tune it up. Well, that'll help. Just the same. I'm going to tune it up. I'm not going to start out off key. Hey, Charlie. Charlie, give me a, will you? That. Incidentally, fellas, when I did this number in my vaudeville act, I used to do a lot of tricks in the second chorus. You know, I'd hold my violin on my head and play it, and then between my knees. And then for a finish, I'd put the bowl between my teeth and move the violin up and down. Try that now, and your teeth will move up and down. Mary, the next time you say I have false teeth, you're going to make the June payment on them. All right, fellas, let's go. Ida, sweet as apple cider. Ida, sweet as apple cider. Sweeter than all I know. Can't you hear me calling when the rain at Emma falling? Oh, come out in the silvery moonlight. Our love we whisper. I'm a Yankee doodle kiddo. At the girls, I tip my lid off. These girls can't live without you. Listen, oh, Ida too. This is really jazzy. Everybody thinks it's nice. Yes, my Ida. I, Ida, Ida. I love you, Ida, Ida. I do. I'm going to get this program going. No kidding. That was Ida, sweet as apple cider, sung by Phil Harris with a violin solo by Jack Benny, that syncopated boy. Well, how'd you like it, fellas? Well, it was swell, Jack. Very good, Mr. Benny. No kidding, Jackson. That was okay. How, Mary? A lot better than I expected. Thanks, Mary. What I expected shouldn't happen to a dog. That I knew. Well, I haven't played my violin long time. I am a little rusty. Anyway, thanks for helping me out, Phil. That was a nice touch on my anniversary. And I need all, Jackson. Shall we give it to him now, fellas? Give me what? You tell him, Don. Tell me what? Well, Jack, we've all been with you for a long time, and we felt that the least we could do on this occasion was to buy you a gift as a token of our love and loyalty. Well, so you devils have been holding back on me, eh? Well, where's the present? Where is it? The men are out in the hall with it, Mr. Wilson. Man, what can it be? All right, carry it in, boys. Right this way, fellas. Now take it easy. Don't drop it. Oh, my goodness. Look at that enormous crate. See, it takes four minutes to carry it. Uh, set it down here, boys. Easy now. Ah, it's certainly heavy. Well, quick, quick, open it up. I'm dying to see what it is. Okay, men, open it up. Thanks, boys. Well, there it is. Get out of my way, Don. I can't see the present. Oh, pardon me, Jack. Well, Jackson, are you surprised? Oh, my goodness. How do you like it? Oh, fellas, just what I needed. A cigarette lighter with 50 gallons of fluid. Mr. Benny? Oh, gee, I can't get over it. Just think, I'll be able to light my cigars with this lighter until I'm 8,000 years old. Uh, 10,000 if I'm conservative. Oh, what a present. Well, we didn't know what to get you, Jack. You've got everything. Everything and a barrel of oil. Well, thanks. All right, boys, roll out the barrel. Leave it in the hall. Oh, wait a minute, Jack. I wrote a poem that goes with that present. Oh, goody. That's all I need now. Never mind a poem. Let it read it, Jackson. It's very apropopo. Apropopo. Phil, you've got the right word, but you ought to have breaks put on it. All right, Mary, let's hear the poem. My own fault for being on the radio for many years. What's the title of it? Old Man Benny. He just keeps puffing along. I'm warning you, Mary. This better be good. Now go ahead. Oh, Jack Benny. Oh, Jack Benny. I salute you, Mary Liz. A gall darn I do not give. I don't give a gall darn either. You have stood the acid test, and you've had a great success. People think you are a mess. So do I. Mary, you bees mean to me. Mary, you bees mean to me. Go ahead. Oh, yes. Uh-uh. That's a silly show. How we love you, dear Jack Benny. How we hope that... Hold it. Hold it. Wait until I answer the phone. Hello? Hello, Mr. Benny. This is Rochester. All right, what do you want? Boys, I'm telling you for the last time, we're in the same house as Mr. Bilsey. He's crazy every day. Oh, you're always worrying about our border. What's he done now? He came down here a little while ago, dressed in a dinner jacket. Well, it's Sunday night. What's wrong with a dinner jacket? That's all he had on. No pants, no shoes, no socks, no nothing. Oh, well, he's absent-minded. We know that. He's a little peculiar. Then right in the middle of the dinner, he sent the mashed potatoes back to the kitchen. What is wrong with the mashed potatoes? He wanted lumps put in them. Next time, make him with lumps. Believe me, Rochester, there's nothing wrong with Mr. Billingsley. He's just a little eccentric. Eccentric? Yes. Boys, when a man waltzes with a haul for you all afternoon, eccentric ain't after a pubable. What? Mr. Billingsley's been waltzing with a haul for him? He calls it Dolores. Dolores? Why the real man's boss? They're flying to you tonight. Oh, my goodness. That's the silliest thing he's ever done. Well, humor him, Rochester. Do something. I want him to steal the potatoes. No, don't touch him. I'll be home right after the broadcast. Meanwhile, tell him the haul tree is married already. See you later. Goodbye. Goodbye. Oh, same boss. Now what? Gas man came today. Oh, he did, eh? You see, Rochester, and you thought Carmichael ate him. What did he want? You wanted to know what happened to the other gas man. Oh, forget it, will ya? Goodbye. Gosh, I hope Mr. Billingsley doesn't go too far off the beam. Now, he's the best boarder I've ever... How we love you, dear Jack Benny. Oh, yes, the poem. More than ever did we do, and we hope that we will always keep on loving you. Oh, get this over with. Dennis loves you. Phil, he loves you. Don, he loves you. So do I. So does Sammy. So does Arthur. So does Bert and apple pie. For a real treat, ladies and gentlemen, in the spirit of the season, try Jello's new spray salad that will lend zest to any meal. A salad with a grand tantalizing goodness, all ready to add brightness and gaiety to a springtime menu. It's a salad that's easy to make, too. Simply prepare a package of lemon jello, as you usually do. Add one tablespoon of vinegar, and a chill until slightly thickened. Next, fold in one cup of chopped nut meats and one cup of diced celery. Then mold and serve on crinkly green lettuce with a dab of golden mayonnaise. And there's one of the swellest salads you ever tasted. Delicious combination of chopped nut meats, crisp diced celery, and rich sunny lemon jello. Incidentally, friends, this is National Restaurant Week, and I hope a lot of you will take the occasion to drop in at your favorite restaurant where you'll find a grand jello dessert or salad on the menu. Visit your favorite restaurant this week and enjoy a delicious meal that includes a treat that's really top's jello. Chia was thrilled with my violin solo. This is the last number of the 31st program in the current jello series, and we will be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. And, fellas, I can't tell you how happy you all made me on my 10th anniversary. Stop, will ya? Good night, folks. Say, folks, you want to hear us well, Echo? We'll listen. Jello! Jello puddings! Jello! Jello puddings! Oh, Frank, Frank Bingman. What kind of an echo is that? Jello puddings aren't the same as jello. Oh, I know it, but they're made for the same people. Jello, you see, is a grand jello dessert. And jello puddings are rich, creamy puddings, full of the most delightful and mellow flavor and tempting goodness. So always ask for both. Whenever you buy jello, get jello puddings in all three flavors. Chocolate, vanilla, and butterscotch. Order jello puddings tomorrow. Order jello puddings tomorrow. This is the National Broadcasting Company. K-F-I, Los Angeles.