 Women have a particular way, and we have a particular way of responding where they can manage our behavior by getting us to feel ashamed. Again, that's just my opinion. But let's talk about the messages that come down to us as men from certain segments. So let me tell you about my favorite gender studies essay. This is one you might have seen. It came out in 2018. It was written by a gender studies and sociology professor out of Boston. Her name was Susanna. Her name is Susanna Dunedin-Walters. And this was published in the Washington Post, which is not a small outlet. And the name of the essay, the opinion piece, was called Why Can't We Hate Men? Do you remember seeing that? It's such a subtle title, right? It doesn't take anything. It's like, a bridge too far. What does that mean? Allow me to investigate? No, this is just club you over the head with your despicable. And in this essay, Susanna Walters, by way of context, she wrote this shortly after the Harvey Weinstein stuff came out. And Harvey Weinstein is the king of scumbags. Absolute dirtbag. But, allegedly, I guess I should say. But Susanna Walters starts out her essay saying, I'm not mad about that because you're all scumbags. And you have always been scumbags. And you're worthy of our hatred. You're worthy of contempt. And the essay itself, like I said, it's kind of unhinged. It's hard to follow. It's irrational. But the message is very honest. The message is that she's demanding something in particular because we are so contemptible. And what is she demanding? She gets to it in the last paragraph. She's not demanding opportunity. Because it would be absolutely absurd for someone in her position, cushy job, high pay, can't get fired, doesn't really need to produce anything other than angry words. It would be absurd for her to say that she lacks opportunity. And everybody knows that there's nothing stopping her from getting a real job. She could go out into the marketplace and compete with everybody else. And she would probably enjoy a competitive advantage because of her demographic features. And everybody knows it. So she's perhaps wisely, if she's this wise, she's not demanding opportunity. She's demanding something different. She's demanding that we all sit down and shut up. So let me read you her last paragraph, her closing argument. This is where she tells us what she would like for men like you and me. All right, yada, yada, yada. You're all despicable. So men, if you really are hashtag with us and would like us not to hate you, let's pause there for a minute and take in the full bouquet of the narcissism. What do I care if this woman hates me? Even if I do care if she hates me, there's nothing I can do about it. There's no alternative because anything I do to try to repair it's only going to make it worse because she's on a mission to hate me. But I'm aware that this sort of manipulation does work on certain men and probably most men at some point in their lives. There's a point in my life where this might have worked on me. Anyway, if you're really with us and you do not want us, and you would like us not to hate you for all the millennia of woe you have produced and benefited from, start with this. Lean out so we can actually just stand up without being beaten down because she's so beaten down. It's a poor woman. Pledge to vote for feminist women only. Don't run for office. Don't be in charge of anything. Step away from the power. We got this. And please know that your crocodile tears, yada, yada, yada. Okay, so that's her closing argument. She wants all of us to know that we're despicable. She wants us to sit down and shut up and just hand her whatever it is she thinks we possess that we can hand her. And it's no coincidence that her weapon of choice is what? Shame. Shame on you. Sit down. Shut up. Don't take up any space in the world. So why am I discussing this as I'm discussing bringing women into our lives? How does this all come together? Well, you remember that Peter was powerless when he chose eudoxia. He didn't choose eudoxia, actually. And if we allow ourselves to buy into this message, this kind of message, when you hear words like patriarchy, toxic masculinity, or mansplaining, or when you hear about the wage gap that has been debunked, God knows how many times, but people still throw it in your face, the wage gap, the wage gap. When you hear these things, I think it's useful to frame them for what they are. This is shaming behavior. This is the behavior that says, you need to sit down and shut up. Well, I don't know about you, but I am not going to stifle myself just because some miserable, no-account gender studies professor insists that I do it. I have work to do. And if she is troubled by that, she can take it up with her cats. I don't care. But I know that there are men out there that don't feel that way. There are men who are retreating from relationships and retreating from education and careers. 8 out of 10 suicides are men. Did you know that in 2013, because statistics lag a bit, in 2013, if a man between the ages of 20 and 49 died, the likeliest cause of death was suicide. Take a walk through Reddit. Look at the hopelessness and the nihilism that exists there, the hopelessness around women in particular. Men out there are hearing these messages and they're buying into it to some degree. So getting back to Peter, he came from a position of powerlessness in that first relationship choice. If a man adopts this kind of messaging to any degree, and most of us are functioning just fine, but if we buy into this kind of messaging, we're putting ourselves in a helpless position in choosing our relationships. Because we're saying to ourselves, well, I'm a piece of shit, so I guess my relationship to women needs to be one of apology and supplication and mother may I. It's a horrible way to start any kind of relationship. It's not good for you. It's not good for them. I mean, think about going on to a car lot. You approach the first salesperson you see and you say, please, here's all my money. Will you please just sell me a car? I don't care what it is. And this I look around and I see the way men are approaching women and I'm seeing a little bit of that energy and it's not good for anybody. It wasn't good for Eudoxia. It wasn't good for Peter. It wasn't good for their son, Alexei. Everybody suffered in that scenario. And we all know men who have suffered in a similar way. So that brings me to chapter four.