 Star Wars is an amazing property with endless stories to be told, a rich, expansive universe just waiting to be further explored some other time. It's Solo vs Rogue One on Movie Feud. The one and Solo have a diverse cast of characters who will die before we really get to know them. Felicity Jones gets top billion in the new Hope prequel as Jin Erso, a spunky rebel who's been on the run most of her life due to her dad's less-than-stellar relationship with the Empire. My favorite character is K2SO, I think. I'm not really sure what the name is, like most of the characters in Rogue One. He's voiced by Alan Tudyk, Tidyk. I've botched two names already and we're just getting started. I'm a movie critic. Subscribe. Like I said, I don't remember the names of these people outside of Jin, but they all have distinct qualities about them. One wears goggles, so I call them goggles. One is blind, so I call them blind. You get where this is going. To be fair, actor Donnie Yen kicks a lot of ass and it's a shame we don't get to see more of him down the road. I seriously just rewatched this and I still don't know the names. I could look them up on IMDb, but I shouldn't have to. I mean, they all die anyways, so I feel a bit better for not trying to form a relationship with them. You would think it'd be easier to connect with the characters in Solo because I had already connected with them 40 years earlier. It was not. Han was a charming smartass who made no qualms about screwing people over if he got what was rightfully his in his mind. It was a bit of an adjustment to see Alden Ehrenrich's version who was more of a lovable scamp who didn't look or sound anything like Ford's original version. The argument here is that he'll eventually become that guy in a second and third film, but that would mean we'd have to watch a second and third film. Thankfully Chewbacca's there to pick up the slack and we also found out Solo calls him Chewy because it's easier to say if that wasn't clear before. That's why. It wasn't because he chewed loudly. We also learned how Han got his blaster. It was given to him. There you have it. And of course there's that unforgettable moment when he's given his last name by a security guard enlisting people into the armed forces with a no questions asked policy. You want to get in? You can get in. You don't even need a last name. He'll assign one to you and it'll stick with you the rest of your life. It's perfect. Solo had a girl back home before he begged a princess. A gal named Kira, played by Amelia Clark. We'll go deeper into her later. I have a way with words. Things get a bit tough for Solo during his time in the military. You know what they say though? When the going get tough, the tough get woody. Harrelson, who he eventually teams up with. He's Beckett, the man who will help shape Han into the wild card. Zero shits given cowboy that we'll never see in this film. That's what prequel sequels are for. Presequels, as they are commonly known as. Lando Calrissian hasn't shown up yet in the new Star Wars trilogy to be unceremoniously killed off like the rest of the OG cast. Give it time. It'll happen. Give it time. We do however get to see him and his youth, played to perfection by Donald Glover. Easily the highlight for me, along with L337 of course. I'm joking. She's a robot rights activist who may or may not have been plugged by Lando. I didn't hate her as much as a lot of others did. Certainly didn't feel the need to harass the actress on social media. That's being a winner. That's winning. I am getting a bit sick of the required droid shtick mandate these movies have. Can't we at the very least get a fun, silly alien character to have some hijinks tag along with our oh fuck, that's Jar Jar. Val and Rio have a bit of screen time too, but are ultimately kind of pointless inclusions. Adding nothing of real substance to the story. The villains are on equal footing for me and both films contain a few key players. Rogue One gives us Pixar's Tarkin, Orson Krennic, and the highlight of the picture, Darth Vader himself. Solo sees our boy Vision as a double dagger wielding prick named Dryden Voss. The last few minutes contain another fanservice callback to much goofier effect. A resurrected Darth Maul Skype calls in, double lightsaber in hand that he was compelled to for some reason light up. Had absolutely nothing to do with anything. He may have winked directly at the audience at that point. And for 5% of the viewers that watched the Clone Wars animated series, this was a nice little dick pull for them. For the rest of us, it was a nice confusing dick pull. A tug that I'm not really sure makes a whole lot of sense. I saw him get cut in fucking two, fall down like a hundred story shaft, and I'm sure his remains were just splattered all over the floor. How they humpty-dumpty'd him back together, I'll never know. He has robot legs. Yeah, that solves that. That makes sense. Palpatine fell down. How come they couldn't have, you know, swept his ass back up? Gave him like a robotic Xavier chair. Rogue One is the gripping story of the scrolltex from A New Hope, stretched out to a two-hour-plus film. Somehow, it worked. The second half of the story is extremely strong and pretty much nonstop in the action department. It is very uneven with the pacing. That's its biggest problem. The first 30 minutes is a bit of a slog. A trim down to an hour 45 could have done this puppy wonders. We see Jin experience the execution of her mother and the capture of her father. She goes underground for many years, helped by family friend Sa Gerrera, who has no purpose being in this movie. You could have cut his scenes out. The meal would have been a little bit quicker, easier to digest, but it being about a bang, about a boom, about a penis. We're done. Jin's father just so happens to be one of the lead engineers and built a plot device that can destroy the planet killer with one near impossible blast. The hope is that she and a small team can retrieve the plans, upload them to the Resistance, and pray to the Force. They find a young scrappy pilot, who used to bullseye Wamprats out of his T-16. Compared to Solo's script, Rogue One fares a lot better. For every cool moment, which there are few, there are equally eye-rolling sections. I dug the train heist on the side of the mountains, but seeing Han clutch his lucky golden dice or learn that his last name wasn't originally Solo is just stupid. Little robot uprising during the Spice Mines of the Kessel Raid was fun, but L337 reaches cringe levels at times with her lead to speak. Story-wise, Solo's pretty standard stuff. Han boosts cars, meets Chewie, teams up with some bandits for one big score. The last 30 minutes get pretty sloppy with constant misdirection and double crosses. When I watched Rogue One, I was very engaged with the story and how the team would accomplish their mission. I knew the outcome already, but the journey there was still entertaining. The fun space battles and frantic nature of events unfolding kept my engagement the entire time. The crew in Solo is perfectly serviceable. It just never really moves the needle for me like Rogue One did. Having Han meet with Kira like 30 minutes into the film was a huge mistake. She was the driving factor, the motivation for Han to get his hands on a ship, which for some reason he couldn't accomplish in three years time, to go back and see her. It also seemed like her backstory was far more interesting as she secretly became some sort of Sith apprentice or confidant. We learned that about five minutes before the credits roll, but I'm sure her story's far from over. It's usually a bit of a toss-up when it comes to the production on these Star Wars flicks. They're all highly polished, crisp-looking visually, wonderful settings. It's hard to go wrong. Yet somehow Solo went very wrong in areas. Perhaps it was just my theater, where he had severe levels of fogginess to it. Everything's missing a bit of punch. It wasn't until the cool Kessel Run segment that I started seeing some actual color bleed through. The special effects are top-notch. It's just a shame they were washed out. Rogue One didn't have this problem. It's one of the prettiest-looking Star Wars films to date, showcasing varied locations and seamlessly blended CG work most of the time. The Darth Vader hallway massacre is shot like a slasher film. Some will argue that it's the only redeeming section of the movie. I fully disagree, but we can all agree that that scene is awesome. There was a bit of controversy surrounding the fully rendered characters in place of now-deceased actors. They are very jarring to see, and I think had Disney and director Gareth Edwards shown some restraint, this could have worked far better. Take advantage of shadows and wide-angle shots. They were just so proud of their work. But I have a feeling it's not going to hold up over time. The Michael Giacchino score is perhaps not as punchy or epic as John Williams, but there's definitely heft to these numbers. John Powell opted to go a different route with Solo. The score is definitely paired back, but it's still noticeable during some of the more action-heavy sections. I think it worked out about as well as the rest of the movie did, which is to say, fine. It was fine. You'll hear the phrase, it didn't feel like a Star Wars movie a lot these days. That's to be expected as Disney continues to churn out one or two films a year. The directors and writers have to try new and fresh ideas to keep the franchise from going stagnant. That concept's a bit at odds with itself. As much as Disney seems keen on moving past the Lucas stories, they continue to go back to as well. That's going to lead to some strong hits like Rogue One and some bunts like Solo. I prefer Rogue, mainly because we're given a brand-new set of characters and deeper insight into the events that led up to a new hope. It was respectable, it cleared up a pretty big plot hole, and it felt like a serious Star Wars picture. The fact that Solo's even watchable, I guess that's a win. It is clear that Disney has bigger plans for that series, and I will say I am intrigued in the prospect of a mall return. Let me know your thoughts, leave a comment, vote for your winner, and remember, this is more than just reviews, this is Movie Feuds. Next up, let's get a Yoda prequel, where he's like a teenager, 16 or so. He's got a backpack, a backwards hat, and a shit attitude. But man, does he know the force? He's going to use it. I can't wait. Let's make it happen, Disney. No right and wrong.