 The difference between a boundary and a request is the difference between a short conversation and perhaps a marathon argument and debate. A request is when you ask someone to do something for you and so by definition you give them the power to say yes or no. A boundary is when you make a decision based on someone's behaviour and their response and their compliance is irrelevant to what you do next and I think some of us are confused between a request and a boundary. Some of you are making requests you are not setting a boundary. A request would sound like I'd really appreciate it if you'd let me know that you're going to be home late because it's so inconvenient when I don't know. A boundary would sound like if you don't let me know that you're going to be home late I will not make you dinner. Some variation of that and so some of you are frustrated because you think it's a boundary violation no it's a request that gives them the power not you. So set boundaries when you're doing boundary work set a boundary and don't get confused between that and a request. One gives them the power and one gives you the power. Cheers.