 Okay, so you've been seeing a guy and you really like him. Things are getting really hot and heavy. And then suddenly you send him a text and he doesn't respond to it at all. What happened? So today I'm going to tell you the biggest mistake that women make in this situation that drives men further away. And the number one key to turning things around for yourself so that you can have the power to create the relationship that you've always wanted to have. My name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. Before we get started, if you're serious about getting into an awesome relationship with a great man, make sure that you go to thegoddaskommunity.com and check out joining our community there for free. Okay, so there's nothing more frustrating than being really into someone when and then when you contact them, they just don't contact you back. And if you're feeling this way, like if you're feeling really frustrated, I get a lot of women in our community that run into situations like this. And a lot of them tell me that they get really frustrated. They get angry. They get upset. They get confused. And if you're feeling this way, you're not alone. This is pretty normal way to feel in this situation. I've experienced this before. Most people that I know have experienced this before. And a lot of the women in our community have experienced this before. And personally, I don't know how you would not get upset or frustrated in a situation like this. And so what does this even mean? What does it mean when you send somebody a text message and they don't really respond to it? Well, what it means is that it's kind of a sign of disrespect and not in a way necessarily like a malicious sign of disrespect like he's trying to like hurt you or something. But it just shows that he's not prioritizing you and he's not appreciating you and he's not valuing you, which can sound kind of like he's trying to hurt you in some way or whatever. But what it really means is that he just doesn't see it. He doesn't see the value in you. He's not realizing how amazing and wonderful and beautiful and attractive of a woman that you are. And so he is doing all these things because of that. And so what's the biggest mistake that women make in this situation? When you're in a situation like this and you're feeling frustrated and you're like upset and you're not sure really what to do, it can be really easy to try to force the situation. And that's the biggest mistake that you can possibly make is trying to force something, trying to manipulate something, coming from the space of fear and then trying to get control over the situation by trying to kind of manipulate it like it's some kind of chess board and you're kind of putting these different chess pieces around and you're trying to force a situation to happen. And so what you don't want to do is do anything like that because what will end up happening is it will destroy any kind of relationship or dating situation that you do have. If he realizes that this is something that you're doing, he will probably end up leaving or he'll start playing games with you and that's the opposite of what you want to have happen. And so before we go any further, if you're here with us right now watching this live stream, make sure that you tell us what your name is and where you're from. Say hi. Tell us where you're watching this from in the world because it's really cool to see all these people from all over the world watching these live streams and it's kind of fun. So do that. There are other mistakes that you might end up making doing this. We already talked about trying to play games with him or another one is shaming him or attacking him or telling him that he's playing games with you, something like that because a lot of times when women think or guys think that a person is playing games with them, what's actually happening is they're really just not that into you or they're not that attracted to you. And so attacking him or shaming him will just drive him further away and what you want to do if you really like this guy and you want things to be mended with him is to not do that and to give him some space instead. So the next mistake you can make is smothering him with messages, asking him what's wrong or why he hasn't responded or is he angry with you or anything like that. We get a lot of women that do that kind of thing in these kinds of situations and that really just, it destroys everything. It'll just drive him out of your life. So you don't want to do that. Another one is kind of coming back with, like once he does respond, coming back with needy or clingy or self deprecating behavior text messages or some kind of pity party thing that you do. That doesn't work as well. It just makes him feel like you're kind of low self esteem and that you don't really value yourself and that's just not a good way to go in general. It can get attention, but it's not good attention and it's not attraction and it's not what you actually want. Another thing is trying to ignore him back or trying to get revenge on him. I mean obviously if he ignores you and all of a sudden you hate him and you want to push him out of your life, then ignoring him back or trying to inflict revenge on him, if that's just what you want to do to make yourself feel better, whatever, but it's not going to help your situation in any way. The last mistake that you can make before we go on to what you should do instead is refusing to look at your own behavior as something that may have turned him off and driven him away. Some of the things that you might have done is some of the things from the mistakes that we talked about earlier and it's great to think like, oh no, I'm perfect and I don't make any mistakes and I should just be able to do whatever I want to, but there's human psychology and human behavior here at play and I'm going to be talking a lot about that in my new program that I'm going to be coming out with here in a couple of weeks and I'm giving away for free, which you can get if you join our community and so it's going to be a really awesome program. But what you want to do is you want to do the things that work and stop doing things that don't work and these mistakes that I'm talking about are the things that don't work so stop doing those kinds of things unless you want to continue to have lots of different problems. So what do you want to do instead? What do you want to do in this situation so that you can turn things around for yourself and end up creating and having the relationship that you absolutely want? The number one thing that you first need to do before you do anything else is regaining your power, is come from what I call a position of power because when you come from a space of power it doesn't really matter what he does because you have the control, you have the choice, you get to dictate the terms of what happens in your dating and relationship life and that's the most important thing that you can possibly do is giving yourself control and power over what you experience in your life and taking ownership of how you experience your life. That's by far the most effective and important thing that you can do in your dating life and it also will make him and other men around you more attracted to you when you come from this position of power because a lot of those mistakes that I talked about earlier that you might make in kind of other situations, those will start going away because you'll start feeling differently about yourself when you're coming from that space of power because you'll start feeling like you're more valuable, like men will start seeing you as being more valuable because you'll start getting into alignment with feeling like you're a valuable woman, you'll start acting like you feel like you're a valuable woman, you'll start thinking and believing that you're a really powerful and valuable woman and so men will start treating you that way because you won't be putting up with anything else and you know what the most effective way to put yourself in a position of power is something we've talked about in some of these other videos which is doing what I call the abundance principle, using the abundance principle and what you need to do is create an experience in abundance of quality men in your dating life so get yourself in orbit of men who are interested in you and start going out on dates with men and it's really hard to get caught up on one guy and what one guy is doing when you have a bunch of guys who are fighting for your time and attention and you're going out on other dates with other men because all of a sudden it's like okay well this guy ignored me and that sucks but it's like oh I'm going out with all these other guys and so you know it's like how much time can I really get caught up and angry and frustrated and focused on this dude that is doing something that I don't like when I've got all these other great things going on in my dating life and so that's one of the most powerful positions that you can have is a world of abundance and what it does is it gives you this position where you're willing to walk away which is another thing that I talk a lot about and it doesn't matter how long you've been with a guy or how much you've invested in him you have to be willing to value yourself and value your life and value your world enough to say hey I'm only willing to put up with so much before I'm willing to walk away and especially if you're just starting to date a guy like I talk to women all the time and they're like oh yeah I've is what was seeing this guy for a week right or sometimes they aren't they haven't even been on a date with the guy yet and they're like oh he ignored my text and it's like well you guys aren't even really seeing each other you know you're just kind of talking over online dating or whatever and you haven't actually met each other in person yet so there's no real thing there and so you have to be willing to walk away if people aren't treating you well if they're not treating you right if they're not doing things that like valuable women they don't put up with behavior from men that makes them feel less valuable that makes them feel like they're taken for granted and that makes them feel like they're being treated like an option that valuable women that about that really value themselves they they don't allow that into their lives life is too short to be taken for granted by anyone and so you shouldn't be allowing people into your life that are taking you for granted now if it's just a friendship or whatever that's it could be kind of a different situation but you know if somebody really likes you they're gonna be contacting you back they're gonna value you they're gonna do all these things and so those are the kinds of people that you want to let into your life those are the kinds of men that you want to let into your life the men that value you the men that treat you well the men that see you as the amazing beautiful woman that you absolutely are and so you want to be in this position where you are willing to walk away because that is the most powerful position that you can possibly be in so you know not to use it as a manipulation tactic a lot of women are like oh okay so I'm gonna take this and now I'm going to manipulate him and use these kind of tactics or given an ultimatum and and try to use that to manipulate him and I'm not using I'm not saying use it to manipulate him but use it as a tool to be like hey you know I'm I'm legitimately not going to deal with anything that doesn't really work for me in my life and and any men that don't really value me enough to get back to me when I message them and I'm talking to them and we're having a conversation and so the only way that you can really effectively do this without driving yourself crazy is to it is by keeping is by using the abundance principle and so what the last thing that we kind of need to talk about here is you know how you're going to deal with him in the future and really what you need to do is think of him like a cat in this situation where if you go and chase a cat right so you can message him if you want to and you know that there there are kind of different things that you can send him you can you know send him a reminder like hey you know like you know like you haven't responded to this yet or something like that I've I've got some different text messages that that can be really powerful to use in situations like this that I'm going to be putting into the program that I'm creating however it's one of those things where it's not that's not necessarily the direction that you want to go right because if you're it's like like I said it's like a cat if you go and chase a cat right and the cat doesn't want to hang out with you right now it's going to run away right and if you're outside it's going to continue running away until it's completely gone and you're like where'd the cat go right and it's like okay well the cat's gone and the cat's not coming back until the cat wants to come back and so you want to wait you're gonna have to wait until he wants to come back until he wants to connect with you again until he wants to have a conversation with you again and if you want to have things go well with him you can't just start attacking him and belittling him when he does come back right if a cat comes back and you slap him when he comes back what's the cat gonna do run off again right because he doesn't want to get slapped but if the cat comes back and you pet him and you know you start talking to him and you know you you you train him on how to behave when he's around you when the cat's around you then the cat will start behaving the way that you want him to behave and so that if you want to continue to have him in your life what you need to do is is one make sure that you're coming from this position of power so you're not completely caught up on him and trying to manipulate him but at the same time you know have a conversation with him and talk about talk to him about you know what you want and what you don't want in your life and and you know show him ways that that are that kind of make you feel bad make him work to get you back right and make sure that he understands that when he does things like that where he's like ignoring you or whatever that you frame it in a way where he understands that it makes you feel less attracted to him that it makes you feel less interested in him that it makes you feel like you know whatever ways that it actually does make you feel so that he understands what's going on with you and he's not completely clueless because maybe this is the way that he's interacted with other women in the past and he just doesn't get it right because there's all most guys out there the overwhelming majority of guys out there they don't get it and if they are allowed and if you let them kind of run all over you and treat you badly then they'll just continue to do that and so you have to put up boundaries you have to communicate what your needs and desires are you have to be able to frame things in a way that he understands what works and what doesn't work for you so that he's not just running all over you like that and so in closing don't try to force him don't instead create abundance for yourself create power for yourself so that you can continue to attract and keep him or have other men in your life so that you're not just stuck on him and you can actually find a great guy that does come into your life who treats you well and values you and makes you a priority and and and sees and realizes what kind of an amazing woman that you are and so next we're gonna go into question and answer so if you're watching the live stream right now and you have any questions on your situation or you have any questions where you want to clear things up about what I just talked about or you know how to deal with things when he comes back or any of that kind of stuff throw your questions into the chat and I will go and answer those questions here in a second but before we do that if you're really serious again if you're serious about really attracting and keeping a man that you really want your life and having an amazing relationship with him go to the goddess community calm and join our community there for free I get I'll give you a whole bunch of the cool programs and stuff you'll get to see some on your stuff and Helena's stuff and there's really cool stuff in there and like I said I'm creating a new program called the forever woman formula and that's gonna be in there in a couple weeks here so let's jump into the comments see what people have to say here so lots of people from all over the world again talking we've got Michelle says hi from Canada Helena's here hey Helena thanks for being here Helena's awesome I love her to death whenever Helena's here I like to say really wonderful and sweet things to her because she's amazing and she's my best friend ever and we she's always she she always she always knows how to talk to me whenever I have things going on in my life that that I'm dealing with that I that I need help with and she's such a sweetheart and she's such an amazing coach too she she gets just amazing results for for the women that she works with and so I'm very I'm very grateful to have Helena on our coaching team I'm very grateful to have Helena in my life I'm very grateful for her to be my best friend so thank you so much for being here Helena Kelly says hi Matt Sissy says hi from New York I'm not gonna say out here the whole the whole thing there so Carol says what happened to your hair Matthew I don't know my hair is like getting long I don't know what's going on anymore Gloria says hi Matt from Georgia miss Ripley Sweden Iraq Sandra says she fully agrees JS Phoenix says he only responds to me when he wants something from me well that tells you a lot Sandra says acceptance is the key mountain house girl says he didn't text back but I didn't get mad right away give him a valid reason to explain first that's it's a good thing to do figure out what's going on during and it's one of those things too it's like you know we all live lives and we all have things going on and sometimes we forget to message people back and it's like oh you know like I forgot to send them message or whatever and it's been a day or whatever so I mean sometimes life gets in the way and it you know it might not always be like the end of the world type of a situation and it might feel that way especially if you're really into someone and there's something going on but they could have a valid reason so Dorian says hi from Birmingham JS Phoenix says this time I think he's mad at me I'm about to give up on him anyway okay so Sam Jen says hi from Iraq hi everybody Kathy says just catching up catching up all right so do we have any questions here Montana if it drives him out of my life good riddance well you know it's one thing where it's like okay if I do something that drives him out of my life and I don't want him in my life anyway good riddance but if you're doing things that are going to drive almost any healthy man out of your life it's like you know you kind of want to stop doing those things right and and sometimes we don't realize that some of the things that we're doing aren't really healthy things because we're coming from we're in it right we're in this space of whatever space that we're in and we just don't kind of realize what's healthy and what's not healthy and so it can be it can be good to kind of do some of the things that we talk about just because once you come into a space like for instance a position of power or a space of abundance all of a sudden you look back at what you were doing before and you're like I didn't realize how unhealthy my behaviors were until I got to the space where I'm no longer being needy and I didn't realize how needy I was being right and all of a sudden you're like I wouldn't put up with that either and you know I can't believe that guys were ever putting up with that and no wonder I was having problems with my dating life because I was doing all these things and I didn't realize that I was doing all these things and it was driving men away from me and it was you know waving these giant red flags at them so Diana says hi from Michigan hi Matt how are you I'm doing great I'm doing great so mountain house girl says patiently waiting for his call but he called and explained it nicely oh that's nice jazz Phoenix says I know I'm not perfect but try to communicate Pam Brown says my man used to text me back always now that we've agreed to move on move in together he never texts maybe he's just as busy as I am he will call every two or three days yeah so Pam I'm not sure what your situation is but one of the things that I want to kind of make clear about moving in with a guy is that you know you need to make sure that before you end up moving in with a guy that you are getting all of your needs met and another thing that I want to be okay let me finish that kind of thought real quick you know the reason that you want to do that is because once you start moving in with a guy basically you're going to be giving him all of the emotional needs that he has fulfilled right so you're giving him everything and if you're if you're like hey I want marriage or something like that and you're not getting marriage and you're moving in with him or you know sometimes women are in kind of like friend with benefits situations and they move in with guys which is crazy and they think that it's progressing but it's not really progressing when you move in with a guy that doesn't mean that it's progressing for him that means that it's progressing for you and your feelings of what's going on with him and you're getting deeper and sometimes he's not getting deeper because of that and so you make sure that you're protecting yourself and getting your needs met the second thing I wanted to talk about in terms of that is men are very goal-oriented right the masculine is very goal-oriented and so if his goal is like hey I want to lock down this girl right like I want to get her and I want her in my place and you know once I have that it's all done that's his goal and all of a sudden you say hey this is what I want and that was his goal and that so now he doesn't have any goals left all of a sudden it becomes like this thing where he's like okay well I've gotten my goal right and so men are far less they're they're not as good men tend to be not as good at keeping relationships going as women are and so he hits his goal and he's done and you're like hey what just happened right but he's no longer like hey I've got this goal and I need to do these things in order to get to my goal and so that can happen a lot of times with men and it feels really bad to you because it feels like all of a sudden he doesn't care anymore but really all that's happened is that he doesn't feel like he needs to do the things that he needs to do in order to get his goal so Carol says he always tells me I ask too many questions okay Sam Jen says I can't meet him in person we only communicate online so I can't show him anything well what kind of a situation are you in where you're only you know I want to stress you know this is a huge thing in the women's dating space right now is that you need to make sure that you're meeting guys on like in person and like it's not really a relationship if you're only talking online and he could be a catfish he could be a scammer he could be all kinds of different things and you have no idea if you haven't ever actually met that guy so J.S. Phoenix says where are the quality men not online they all just want hookups there are quality men online but there's also a lot of guys that you don't ever want to talk to or meet online right and so I mean you have to weed through a lot of a lot of guys if you're doing online dating you have to weed through a lot of guys and you just have to have either a system that works for you or my suggestion is that you start going and meeting guys in person because that's way way better that's a big topic though however I think that the best place that you can meet guys is outside during the day somewhere and depending on where you live and what's going on in your area depends on where you should go in order to meet guys in the real world however my suggestion is that you go to places where there's a lot of men there's a lot of traffic that goes through or you go to places that are more niched right so if you're into growth and personal development stuff there's a lot of guys that go to growth and personal development things like seminars and workshops and communities and stuff like that you know but that's a kind of a big topic that we can probably do an entire video on so Crystal Hunt says how can I tell if he's talking to other girls well first off it depends are you in a relationship a committed relationship with him if you're not it's really none of your business if he's talking to other girls or not to be honest and it's none of his business if you're talking to other guys or not and if you are in a relationship then it's important however you didn't really specify that so I'm gonna assume that you're just dating and I would say that it doesn't really matter if he's talking to other girls or not and you should assume that he is you should assume that if you're dating a guy that he's talking to other girls so sue diva says hi Matt greetings from California sunny California okay curl says I have tried to break it off so many times but he won't let me he keeps coming back don't be a victim okay if you want to break things off break things off don't blame your being in contact with a guy on the guy because he won't let you break things off with him be a responsible grown adult and break things off and don't let him into your life ever again it sounds kind of harsh but it's it's the reality right you need to hear this like if you if there's a guy in your life and he keeps coming back like and you want to break things off break things off and let it go so Julie says thank you I needed to hear this this is awesome I'm gonna start putting this into practice awesome you should this is by far the best possible thing that you can do in this situation he always comes back when I'm almost over him it's a pattern yeah what you need to do like I said is get a world of abundance abundance of men come from a position of power because then when he comes back you're like hey I don't care like get away from me it doesn't matter anymore right because you've got these other guys and you're like look I'm gonna be with somebody that treats me well and so if you're not going to treat me well then you know and act right and and make me a priority and do all the things that that make me feel loved and cherished and valued as a woman then I'm not gonna be in a relationship with you you know and it's like that that's why it's so important to come from this world of abundance this the abundance principle because if you're coming from that space it it it's like it all of a sudden it doesn't matter as much right it's like yeah I was connected to him but there's all these better guys and here's where I'm being treated well and that's where I'm gonna go because that's what I want is to be treated well Sharon says I get it think he's either letting me down slowly or just busy he doesn't answer to my text anymore it's been a week now so I'll just take it with a grain of salt just Phoenix says he's a cat all right he has a feline mind yeah see g mom Kim says change the way you think about walking away from he won't let me to this is my choice because I deserve better exactly somebody gets it you get what's going on here say I get it say I get it in the chat so there's a lot of a lot of questions here messages so haha the cat yeah the cat example made me laugh yeah it's true it's true so Sudiva said I'm so glad I'm not going through this alone I really need to hear this meow yeah I mean there's so many women that are going through this so a lot of men going through this as well but yeah there's tons of people going through it's painful it's a painful thing and that's why it's so important to do to put yourself in a position of power I honestly suggest says I honestly don't think he cares about what works for me exactly which is why you need to care about what works for you because when you care about what works for you and you start valuing yourself and you start deciding that you're not going to put up with anything that is less than what you deserve then all of a sudden you stop responding to guys like this and he realizes that you're not going to respond to him and he either decides that he's gonna step up or he ends up going and trying to find another victim somewhere else where he can manipulate and control and abuse and treat somebody like garbage and get away with it and so what you want to do is not be the woman that he treats like garbage and you you know want to let him go so that you know wish him wish him best of luck so all giggles says how to catch him on things best ways of telling him or expressing it he ignores certain questions so I mean the best way with men is if is to be direct with things like that right like if he's not going to answer one first off you need to realize that if a guy is not answering a question and he's and you think that he's probably intentionally avoiding it like you've asked them more than once and he's intentionally avoiding it first off that is an answer right if he's not willing to answer a question that's an answer right if he's a man he's got an answer for the question and he should be willing to be open to talking about it and so if you know he's ignoring a question at first you want to take that as an answer and second you want to be direct especially if it's a really important question about what's going on and it's something that's that you need to know and that it's really important to you is just just cut it you know just cut all the BS and just be like look you know let's cut the BS you know like here's the like you know like what's going on in this situation I need to know about this and it's really important that you answer me and if he's not willing to answer you when you're when you're being that direct with him then he's never gonna answer you and you need to take that as the answer and figure out what that means to you and go from there so Michelle Fiery says do high value men want women to chase them all men want women to chase them right just like women want men to chase them however it's so so the important part is that there's there's a balance right there's it's a lot of times when you talk about like chasing or pursuing or investing or whatever people start jumping to one end of the spectrum over or the other and really there's there's a middle ground if if he's doing all the pursuing the light and he's just doing everything the likelihood is that you're not going to be attracted to him and if you're not doing any kind of response or you know reaching out to him at all there's a really high probability chance that he thinks that you're not even really that interested in him and that he's gonna end up going somewhere else and talking to someone else and so you want to have a middle ground where it's I have the analogy of like hitting hitting a tennis it's like a tennis match right you're you're hitting the ball back and forth to each other and you're both doing it right he's not just hitting the the ball against the wall and you're standing there and you're not hitting the ball against the wall and just standing there and he's just standing there there's a back and forth that goes on and and people want to be valued they want to be pursued they want to be cherished we all do it's it's it's in some regards it's attractive to all of us and in some regards if you're doing it too much it becomes it becomes really unattractive because somebody that really values themselves wants a relationship where there's a mutual back and forth going on and it's not all just one person and and with that said usually the beginning of a relationship usually the first few dates first few weeks of a relationship men tend to be the person that pursues the most during those times and then after a while once there's a connection built women tend to start reaching out and men start kind of leaning back a little bit more but you don't want to be chasing him or reaching out or pursuing him so much that he completely leans back and you're doing all of it which is what ends up happening a lot of times in our community you want it to be a back and forth you want him to be continually investing in you regardless of whether he's a high value man or or not and you want to you know and there's nothing wrong with you reaching out if you need connection if you're coming from a space of being in your feminine energy and you're coming from a space of confidence and security and if you're coming from a space of neediness then it can really be painful or it can be it can end up pushing him away or making him feel bad and so I'm not sure if I have completely answered that question for you so JS Phoenix says I think my situation is beyond hope I think I need to get back to online dating again I hate online dating well what you need to get back to is a space of abundance right because that's where you're gonna be strong from and that's where if you wait that that's a place where if you get to it all of a sudden you can look at your situation and be like okay this has been a bad situation that I've been in for a while and suddenly for me I'm losing this energy to even be in it because I'm coming from this healthier place this place of abundance this place of having choice of having power in my relationship so Jessica says if I do the abundance thing is gonna make me a player well it's gonna make you somebody that has choice it's gonna make give you options it's gonna give you power it's gonna give you control it's gonna give you the ability to decide what it is that you want and don't want in your in your life is it gonna make you a player I don't know I guess it depends if you start playing or not like that's what makes you a player it's not not having abundance choice Melissa says always so helpful I'm glad this is helpful visual I'm not sure how to pronounce that says I have told him so often what I want and need it was a training for me because expressing was hard for me but I overdid it now he says he does the exact opposite to protest yeah I mean if you're doing it in a forceful way where you're trying to manipulate him or that so this is what happens when you try to come from this space of force is that you end up with resistance whenever you're trying to manipulate someone whenever you're trying to control someone and they feel like you're trying to control someone trying to control them they will put up resistance right but if you tell them what you want need and then you give them the freedom right to do it and to make that decision and to decide that they're gonna step up and take that role and do those things then they're doing it out of choice and they're not doing it because you try to force them and prod them and and you know manipulate them and make them do something that they didn't want to do and and that's that's what the difference is right the difference is in freedom of choice you want him to not feel obligated to do it but you want him to do it because he loves you and he values you and he wants to keep you in his life and that's why the the power position and the space of abundance and the willingness to walk away are such important things because if you're coming from those spaces it's not like hey you need to do this or else it becomes this thing where you're like hey I I want to feel valued and I want to feel loved and cherished and I want to feel like a priority in in your life and so if you know you want me to feel those ways like this is how I would like to you know this is what I'd like to experience and if he decides that he wants to be in your life because then all of a sudden it's like okay I get it right and he can make a decision whether he wants to do it or not and if he doesn't do it then it's like okay well you know that's your choice and you have the freedom to make a choice and I also have the freedom to make a choice right and I have the freedom to decide what I want to have in my life and what is acceptable and not acceptable and how I wanted to be how I want to be treated and you know and so all of a sudden it's like you know he he's he'll start to feel that and he'll start to see that and he'll be like okay I can either go somewhere where I can you know continue to do what I've been doing or I can step up and start treating this woman the way that she knows that she deserves to be treated and it'll be a decision that will be mutual and it will be coming from a space of freedom and he'll be making that choice instead of it being this thing that you're trying to force him into and he rebels against it because he doesn't want to so Gloria says thank you for having these live chats as I'm learning so much you're welcome you are welcome Sharon says so I guess I have to allow him to come back on his own yeah you don't really have a choice about it I know he has a busy life but three texts and still no reply back I'm clueless yet that it it's telling you something right now right it's telling you where he is it's it's a gauge of how he feels about you that's what it's telling you it's not there's no reason to be clueless about this there's nothing that's to be clueless about right he's he's communicating with his inaction that he's his attraction level is really low his his him valuing you is really low the way that he is is behaving and so that's that's what you need to get from this right so JS Phoenix says I'm not attracted to healthy men well that's definitely something else that you need to work on and if you want to work on that we I believe um Helena's program feminine enchantment if you go to feminine enchantment.com I think she talks about that I'm not sure if that's I don't know it's been such a long time since we did that program you know but if you really if you really want to work on things that are going on like from a standpoint of being attracted to a guy my suggestion is really that you go and get some coaching for it because sometimes you know maybe what you might need is therapy sometimes what you might need is coaching and so you might want to talk to a coach about it and just talk to them and find out what they think is you know based on what's going on in your situation because sometimes all it is is like a shift that you need to make in your situation that allow you to start being attracted to the right kinds of men and sometimes it might be deeper depending on what situation you're coming from like where your where it is like what's going on with you that's making you feel attracted to unhealthy men and so it could there's a few different things that could be going on and we'd have to somebody would have to really talk to you about your situation to find out what exactly is going on specifically in your situation to figure out what you need help with in terms of that so Joanne says how do you take it from just doing relationship things to a committed relationship so are you talking about being in a friend with benefits situation and wanting to go to a committed relationship because I just did as a matter of fact I just did a live stream about that which you can find it's called how to go from a casual friend with benefits situation or friend with benefits to a committed relationship so how to go from a casual friend with benefits to a committed relationship just look that up on our channel I just did a live stream on that and it is gold you should check that out Miss Ripley says he already came back explaining that he's been really busy and that's why he's acting the way he is but when again stating my boundaries he's telling me I'm nagging should I just stop responding well first off it depends on how you're communicating your boundaries I talk a lot about this and I've talked about this in different videos I talk about it specifically in the love frames toolkit program and the how to talk to a guy program however you need to be communicating your boundaries in a in a healthy way and it you also it sounds like you're doing this over text message and that just seems like a really bad way to communicate something that's important if you really need to communicate something you need to be doing it over phone or in person if it's really that important and it's something that needs to be kind of addressed so g mom kim says do high value men get turned off if the woman pursues them instead if waiting for them to be pursued well you can you can reach out to men you I mean like it's not like just because you send a man a text message or a message doesn't mean that you're like chasing him or pursuing him you like chasing him and pursuing him is like having a goal associated with it right if you're like hey I feel like I need connection and you reach out to him and you're kind of coming from this feminine space and you're just like hey you know like I was thinking about you that's not necessarily like that's not pursuing a man right pursuing a man is like hey you know like when are we going to meet up like let's chat like you know trying to get something to happen based on your communication with a man and you know trying to move things in a certain direction that's pursuit right and just sending a guy a message isn't necessarily pursuit and it's not necessarily a bad thing depending on your situation now I said this a little while ago when somebody took it in the wrong context and sent ended up sending a guy a message right after he was like you know hey I need some space and she was like oh okay I'm gonna give you some space and so if that's the situation you don't want to reach out to him if you're like hey you know like get back to me when you know you're ready or whatever you don't want to end up reaching out to him then because that's kind of smothering him but if if you're just sending a guy a message there's nothing wrong with doing that that's not a bad thing like leaning back doesn't mean that you can't message a guy all right so Sudiva says he always catches me when I'm busy other times crickets Jocelyn says hi I'm watching in the Philippines awesome Bijou says how exactly can I come from a powerful place rewatch the video from the beginning I talk about that Sam Jen says so I messed up really bad I need I was needy clingy desperate and I think that turned him off so he doesn't talk to me anymore what should I do well if you you've messaged him and he's not responding and you know you have to do the cat thing you have to wait for him to come back to you that's that's the only way without just like you know continually being because it's what it sounds like from what you just said is that you're still in a space of being needy and clingy and so what you really need to do is go back over what I was talking about before and put yourself in a power position in a space of abundance that way you're not coming from a space of being needy and clingy so DD says how to tell a guy to chill on texting me so much without emasculating him so if a guy is texting you a ton and you want to I mean it's I mean I mean that you can do it it the question is whether he's going to get it right the reason that he's like texting you a lot is because he's excited about you and he's really attracted to you and so you know basically what you need to do is just is you just need to communicate with him what works for you and what doesn't work for you and you know what what's probably happening is he's you're probably in the exact opposite situation of what what we're talking about here right he's probably messaging you a lot and you're like oh you know like do I need to like respond to every single one of these messages that he's sending me and so what you need to do is you just need to communicate with him that you're busy and that you've got a lot going on and just be like hey you know like if you message me I'll message you back when I can however if you're messaging me a bunch throughout the day I'm you know it might be hard for me to communicate with you right like if you're if you're a busy person and you've got a lot of things going on it's like you just need to communicate with him that that's what's going on with you so that he knows that you're not going to be messaging him a whole lot and once he realizes that that's going on he'll either slow down his messaging because he's like oh well she's not responding because a lot of times people do this right like if if you respond every time a person messages you like immediately and then you're like oh why is this person messaging me all the time it's like well because you respond immediately when they message you whereas if you're like hey you know like during these hours right like during the hours of like you know midnight till about 6 p.m. every day I'm either sleeping working or I've got all these other things going on and so I can't really message you that often you're just letting people know right I used to do this actually it's like I think Tim Ferriss did this on like he talked about this in his book but you know you just you let people know what's going on with you and you're like hey you know during these hours it's funny because when I did do that and I did that for a while I just had people like not even like calling me at all anymore right which can turn into a bad thing if if you want to connect with people in some ways but it also kind of puts things on your terms which then if you're kind of putting it on those terms and you let him know if he's really that attracted to you what he's going to do is he's going to either wait until he knows that you're free or he's going to he's going to like just message you a whole bunch and then wait for you to respond whenever it is that you do respond and so you just need to communicate right and there's a lot of different ways that you can do it but just you know communicate with him what's going on with you and and what you need and what works and what doesn't work and and why you're not gonna you don't want to you know talk as much as possible or whatever or what it is that you do need right if you're like hey I only want to talk like you know a couple times a week or whatever because you're in a space where you're just that's what's normal and healthy for you which by the way for a lot of people that don't know for for a lot of people it's not especially if you're just like early phases of dating for a lot of people that are in a healthy space they don't really need to like message all the time with somebody and so I don't know I'm kind of beating a dead horse here so let's just move on I think I hope I answered your question there so punky88 says I asked if he liked me and I had no reply a week later I noticed a change of attitude he is pursuing me more but what does this mean so I asked if he liked me and I had no reply a week later I noticed a change of attitude so so you've been dating for four months and you sent him a message asking him if he liked you which is kind of a weird it's kind of a okay here's the second part of it I think it is enough to know if you want to commit or not I decided to leave my options open I don't wait for men anymore should I dump him I don't want to waste my time and energy in the wrong yeah I mean like what I said before you should be dating other people so I think I talked about this in one of my last live streams where guys know by the six by the six month mark he will know for certain what kind of a relationship he does or doesn't want to have with you I mean if you I mean it's kind of a weird question to send him a message where you're like hey do you like me which one tells me that he's not showing you that you that he likes you or you're coming from a really needy space one or the two if you're coming from a really needy space and you're like hey do you like me right like and he's showing you through his actions that he likes you but he's not saying it that's kind of a weird question for him to get but it's also if you've been dating for four months and he likes you like there's no reason for him not to answer that question and be like of course I like you know I mean which is what which is what he should be doing is he should be saying yes absolutely of course I like you which is kind of weird as well so it it just sounds like there's some weird things going on in your situation and you know he said he wants to go with the flow like like what you know that one that's not a very masculine thing to say like hey I want to go with the flow like what does that even mean you know it's like oh I just want to be super wishy washy all the time you know it's like okay you know my my you know you said you decided to leave your options open I suggest that you do go out and date other men and you don't wait for him and that you make sure that you are do have a space of abundance and know just for a fact that you know it's you know that that this you know let him know absolutely let him know that it's not whatever's going on if it isn't working for you that it doesn't work for you and that you're looking for something more if that's that is your case I mean four months is is a pretty good period of time to be dating a guy and being in a space of like you know I don't know what's going on and at the same time you want to be communicating with a guy what it is that it that you do want right because he's not a mind reader and he doesn't know and it's not necessarily coming from the masculine for him to try to lock you down into a relationship and stuff and so if that's something that you you want and you need then it's something that you need to make sure that you're communicating and you're talking about so miss Ripley says thank you Matt miss firis Michelle fiery says I love your response big thank you you're right you're welcome Kelly says Matt I love your candidness women do need to hear the harsh truth too it's true it's true yeah I mean sometimes you need to hear the harsh harsh truth about what's going on okay so okay so it we're getting to the top of the hour here and so I am going to I'm gonna go here but thank you everybody for being here thank you everybody for being a part of our community and thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey and thank you for for taking on a lot of this advice and and allowing us to help you my goal here really is to help empower you to give you a space where you can come from where you're where you're feeling strong where you're feeling like you value yourself like you feel like you can have the relationship that you absolutely want because that's really the the beginning point is is feeling like you can have that relationship that you want a lot of times women come to us and really hard places and really strong like desperate or needy kind of spots because they've been hurt and abused and just treated like crap and so many different ways and and this is one of those topics where a lot of women kind of get treated that way and so it's my goal to help empower you it's the goal of our team to help empower you and so if if if you're really serious lastly if you're really serious about wanting to get into an amazing relationship with a man where he sees you and he loves you and he cherishes you then make sure you go to the goddesscommunity.com and check out our community there check out joining our community for free so thank you so much for being here and I really appreciate all of you being here and being a part of this and asking questions and allowing me to answer and I will speak with you