 The narcissist has to do this before they move on before the narcissist is able to move on There is something they must do. It's like an itch. They can't scratch It's the only way to relieve their restless minds The narcissist has to be superior they have to be better than you So they cannot move on if you are better than them Which means that before they move on they have to destroy you They have to break you down They have to pull you beneath them Because they're in competition with you They see you as their rival as their opposition And they are trying to establish their superiority over you Before they move on They need to be in the best possible position So that they can tell everyone that you are the problem Because otherwise If you are the problem, why are you doing better without them in your life? It wouldn't make any sense Which is why they have to break you down They have to traumatize you. They have to destabilize you So that they can tell people how crazy you are So that they can get people to believe their side of the story They will withhold information from you So that you try to seek answers To make you look like a crazy person for continuing to stay in contact with them They have to destroy you to make other people think that you're the problem Which is why they will create a false narrative They will say lies about you. They will make up the story that you were crazy Which will be believable to other people Because they've caused you to lose your sense of direction They've left you confused and unable to think clearly They've left you in a state where you're not in your right mind So now it's easy for the narcissist to throw out these accusations and say that you're doing something wrong People who really know you will understand what's going on But other people will believe the narcissist lies Which may make you want to convince them that it's not true But by doing that you will be wasting your energy You need to realize that it's not your job To change other people's minds And you already have enough problems and difficulties to deal with after being involved with a narcissist So don't even try to prove yourself to anyone The narcissist is only doing this because they need to make you look crazy. They don't want you to move on They want you to keep thinking about them Because they have an attachment disorder When they were children They had issues establishing a deep emotional connection Which resulted in them developing an avoided attachment style While also being extremely sensitive to rejection Which is why they want to leave you holding on They want to keep you waiting They want to keep you dependent on them Because that puts the power back in their hands Which is why they lie to you Which is why they withhold information from you Because it keeps you seeking answers from them Which gives them a sense of power and control It gives them attention It shows them that you care Which makes them feel confident It tells them that they are special And that is why they play these psychological games with you Because it gives them emotional validation Which is something that they experienced in childhood They're playing the same games with you that they played with their parents to get attention Which is never Going to change Even if they move on They're just going to do the same thing to someone else The narcissist has to destroy you before they move on They have to keep you in a vulnerable state So that it's easier for them to come back to you They want your attention And if you are in a vulnerable state You're more likely to act in accordance with their commands They want you to be easy to manipulate and control They will give you false epiphanies and fake apologies They will tell you that they've changed But that's not the reason why they're hoovering you They will only hoover you to meet their own needs They will only hoover you to get your attention They need attention Because it's something they never had in their childhood Which is why they have to create these situations Where they're able to get it Because they have this empty hole inside of them that they're trying to fill But it's never filled It keeps leaking out They can never satisfy their ego They always want more Which is why even when you love them despite everything they've done to you They still don't recognize it. They still don't appreciate it It doesn't mean anything to them Because they can never be satisfied But this is why they have to destroy you Because they're looking for attention They're dependent on other people for that Which is why they need your eyes wide open They need you hanging on to their every word They need you to have unsophisticated and uncritical acceptance and admiration of them They have to argue with you So that they can feel like they've won So that they can feel like they're right This is what they have to do to fill their void But it only lasts for a short period of time They're never satisfied Because they never look at themselves To see if there's something they need to change Which is why they keep doing the same thing again and again But they have no incentive to change Because they're getting what they want So even if they move on Their behavior isn't going to change They will be this way for the rest of their lives They have to destroy you before they move on They have to win Because that's what fills the void within They have to feel like they're better than you Even if that's not what is really happening But narcissists are emotionally underdeveloped So they're fine with people believing a lie As long as it gives them validation And people will believe whatever they see in front of them They will extricate themselves from excessive thought By choosing the simplest course of action Which is why fly monkeys continue to exist Because they don't really understand the narcissist They're seeing the situation from the outside They're not personally involved in it And it's not your job to get them to understand Let them observe you Let them watch And continue being the star of your movie Let the narcissist run its course Eventually they will get bored Eventually they will find someone else to abuse You just need to separate yourself from them Break the attachment Remove yourself from the drama and chaos Distance yourself and then you will be unaffected by it You will live a more passionate life Thank you for watching I hope this video resonates with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe If you would like to donate My PayPal link is in the video description Thank you for watching Coaching inquiries You can email me at coaching.docs5 at the Clio UK Thank you for watching And I'll talk to you soon