 Good morning, everybody. Welcome back to another vlog today is Tuesday. It is Monday, I just like. I never know what day of the week it is. That's completely fine. I'm actually running a tad bit late because I have a nail appointment today, what? Who am I, leaving the house? I've actually been feeling, I don't know what's happening with this lighting, but I've been feeling a lot more comfortable leaving the house recently now that I'm fully vaccinated. Started gaining a little bit of confidence here and there and it's been really, really lovely, I have to say. So what I am doing today is going to get my nails done and then I think I'm gonna run over to Ulta. I got ready for literally no reason. Like I'm just, I don't know, I felt like putting some effort into my look today. I'm actually running a couple of minutes late to this nail appointment, but it's literally across the street from my house. So I'll be there in like two seconds. But yeah, I'm getting my nails done. I'm getting like actual nails for the first time in probably two years. I wanna do like a fun, funky design. That's kind of like what I'm in the mood for at the moment, I'm wearing my funky pants. I was running out the door so I didn't have time to do like a full outfit of the day, but here's the outfit I'm wearing today. The entire thing is thrifted except the shoes that I got from Target. And I love it. It's like fun wine ant vibes, you know? That's kind of the look I'm going for today. So super into that. Rich auntie vibes for sure. But yeah, got my mask with the filter in it, ready to go. And then I think I'm gonna run to Ulta. Like I said, I've been really wanting to try some products and different things for a video on underboop sweat because I feel like I've been experiencing that a lot more this year or over the last year or so. And so I thought I would test out some things for a main channel video. So I'm gonna pick up something for that. And yeah, this week is actually gonna be kind of busy. We're actually at the end of this week going back to LA for the first time since 20, I mean, literally visiting as a couple since 2019. Literally the last time then literally the last time that Drew and I went to LA as a couple on like a little couple's getaway type of thing was March, I believe of 2019. It was before we moved there. We're just both really excited. So it'll be fun and I've got a lot of stuff to prepare for that. I'm getting my hair touched up tomorrow. It's already been two months since I got my hair done. Literally what? That's crazy. So I'm pulling in now and I will check in with you guys in a bit. So that was an adventure. It was definitely, you know, one of those things where you're trying your best to like say what it is you want, but like it's not working. Totally not a big deal. I still gave her a really big tip because I just feel like she deserved it. But I was like, can you make them a little bit shorter? And she kept being like later, later, later. And I asked her like four times to make them shorter and that later never came. So they're a bit long, but that's okay. I'll get used to it. Then we have these little smiley faces here, which are really cute, but this one is a little wonky. That's okay. I should have just bought stickers. Honestly, like I felt like weird for asking for it, but then there was someone else in there who was like, I loved my smiley faces last time. So I know it wasn't the only one, but she had to call for backup a couple of times. There were a couple of people that had to come over and help her out. And then still it was like a little wonky and she wasn't really like absorbing what they were telling her, like her coworkers, like came over and were like, try this, try this. And it just, it's okay. It's all good. I'm probably gonna remove the smiley faces and just put like stickers on them. But the pink is cute. It's fun. It's funky. I wanted definitely like a funny experience, you know, going back out into the world, trying something new. You don't always get what you want in life. Okay, let's go to Ulta. My first time in an Ulta in easily a year and a half, maybe two years. I was watching one of Morgan Yates' vlogs the other day and she was talking about listening to What's New by Meg Mastalian and like Blast again in her car and feeling like a bad bitch. And I definitely am doing that in this moment. So I just wanna let you know, I highly endorse it. Please listen to this song, it's the shit. Made at home. I am starving. It's about 1.30. My nail appointment was at 10.30. It's been a long day so far. But anyways, here's a better look at the nails. So I'm gonna make my go-to salad. I'll show you here. This is kind of like my go-to when I'm hungry and I want something quick. I'm heating up some tempeh bacon on the pan right now. Just have some spring mix. Something that I feel like a lot of you will probably relate to me on I don't like cilantro and recently Drew and I have been buying this spring mix from like our local grocery store and it had cilantro in it. And I remember eating a salad and I was like, I taste something evil. And then I looked and it was freaking cilantro. Like I was like, excuse me, there was also like chives in it, very weird, but this one doesn't have it. Got my greens. The dressing I've been using lately is the Annie's Goddess Creamy Tahini and Lemon Recipe. Dressing, it's vegan, it's really, really tasty. It's running well, that's why I have it upside down. I'm also gonna put some pecans. I got some chopped pecans. I'm throw almost an entire bag of these. I just love a nutty salad, what can I say? Also, raisins, these are like my two, no matter what, I have to have raisins, have to have pecans. So put some of those on there. Then you have to go crispy onions. I swear, like maybe even if you don't love onions, like you have to try crispy onions. I prefer the kind that are in like the bags like this that are made for salads but we had some of these left over from like Thanksgiving that I decided to just use on my salads and they're fine. They just give like crunch and flavor. Gotta have the Olive Garden croutons. Feel like I show so many of my salads. It's weird, my channel, my vlog channel especially during the pandemic has just become like very everyday life things. Like I'm talking about spring mix, chia pets. Apparently this is just my life now. So anyways, I love garden croutons. You just always need more crunch. And I have this bag of hemp hearts that I bought a while back. Sometimes I put them in smoothies. Sometimes I put them in my yogurt for breakfast. Sometimes I put them in salads. Can't taste them in salads, so they're good. Oh my gosh, me relearning how to use my hand with nails. So I just put like a tablespoon or so. They have extra protein in them as well. Kind of considering doing hummus on it but this dressing is really creamy and I think I'm just gonna like dip some chips in hummus, sounds better. And then of course got my water blue sparkling water. I think I took this recently a few months ago where I was saying I wasn't drinking as much sparkling water because it gives me gas but I'm just back to drinking it, so whatever. And I got my tempeh bacon. I just like broke it up into little pieces. I'm just gonna like toss that on the top. This dressing doesn't drizzle very well. It's very thick. And there we have it. There's my big, beautiful salad. It's gonna be delicious. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to eat the whole thing but I will try. I'm just gonna have some of these veggie chips. They're the off the eatin' path snacks for the curious. They're made of rice peas and black beans. They're gluten-free as well for those of you that are gluten-free. So just dip some of those in supremely spicy hummus. Life changing. This hummus is the one. So if you need me, this is where I'll be. The first sip of sparkling water. So spicy, so good. It is the next day. It is Tuesday and I'm getting ready to go drive in about an hour away and get my hair done because I haven't found anyone to do my hair on this side of town yet. But hi. I've been busy all morning just getting random things together, packaging some returns. Anyways, very boring stuff. Lately, I don't know. I feel like if any of you that are watching this make videos, could you please let me know if you're in the same boat that I feel like I have nothing to say. I have nothing important to say, nothing to report. But the thing is, I love vlogging. I love updating my life. I love staying in touch with you all. I just love connecting in that way. It's truly been one of the things that has saved me during this time. It's just helped me feel like normal, a sense of normalcy. And I definitely think that I tend to criticize myself and kind of say things like, this vlog was pointless, who cares? Why would you post about the salad you're making for lunch? I know I personally love watching vlogs. That's mostly what I watch on YouTube. And I love watching vlogs of people just hanging out around their apartment. But when it's me, I don't know, I'm like super harsh on myself and I just feel like there's literally no point. I just feel like sometimes I'm posting nothing. It's like shit posting, if you will. But I like when people shit post. Do you know what I mean? I have about 15 minutes before I need to leave. So I just thought I would turn on the camera and kind of just open up a little bit about this vulnerability that I'm feeling where I'm like, is there a place for me online at the moment? I don't feel as much of a comparison thing going on as much as I feel like I'm not doing, I don't know where my space is on the internet. The next video that you all see is gonna be a Q and A video. And in that video, I still repeatedly get questions about when am I gonna get married? When are Drew and I getting engaged? When are we gonna have kids? Do we wanna have kids? Have we changed our minds? Et cetera. People can't seem to grasp that people can just wanna be in a relationship and be happy and don't feel necessarily one way or another about getting married and having kids. And sure, I'll be the first to admit that there are times where I'm like, hmm, that sounds kind of nice. But not necessarily right now. We're so good, we're so chilling. Very committed, very happy. And it's just bizarre to me how there's such a expectation, especially on women, society expects a certain thing of people. And it's almost weird if they don't. So Drew and I having been together for four years and friends for like 10, 11, it's almost perceived as weird. I don't wanna say weird, but just different that I'm not necessarily in a spot where I super wanna buy a house right now or get married or have kids. And it's just weird that I feel weird that people feel weird about it, to some extent. So that's sort of one of the things, like I can tend to be like, well, I'm 33, I'm unmarried, I'm childless. It makes me feel like I'm behind, but I know I'm not because it's intentional. Like I feel very comfortable renting at the moment. I feel very comfortable being in a committed partnership and not having a child and having that responsibility. You know, we had Drew's nieces over last weekend and they had a sleepover there here for like 24 hours. It was honestly perfect. And then we both took like a three hour nap after they left. We just enjoy it so much and then we enjoy so much when we have that quietness after the fact. So I don't know. I guess what I'm trying to say is I just feel sometimes inadequate. Maybe that's the right word, like a little bit inadequate because I'm not on the same journey, but I'm like choosing not to be on the same journey and I'm not doing the not like other girls thing. I'm just truly saying that sometimes I feel inadequate as a woman or as a person on YouTube because I feel like certain things are expected, even though most people who watch me aren't expecting that. I don't know. Most days I would say I don't care at all whatsoever. It does not bother me. It does not affect me. I'm like, I'm on my journey. You're on your journey. That's amazing. But then there are days where I'm like, wait, if this many people are saying something about it, is this something I need to be concerned about? Or you know what I mean? Anyways, I don't and I'm not. But I'm just being honest. I kind of wanted to like get vulnerable with you for a second. And sometimes that can be hard because having your job be on the internet, you are unintentionally, whether you want to or not, opening yourself up to countless opinions about you, which is another topic that I will discuss with a therapist. You're like opening yourself up to people's opinions on you and your life and what they think you should do with your life, how they think you should decorate your house, where they think you should live, if they think you should get married or not, when they want you to have children. And I understand that most people just want to see people happy and society teaches us that marriage is like this happily ever after thing. But I mean, Drew and I could not be more committed and marriage wouldn't change anything other than like a piece of paper. For us personally, we're not religious or anything like that. So it doesn't hold that much significance. Like it's definitely a serious thing. We both probably want that someday, but also we're just so chilling. Like we're just so, so happy. Anyways, just that I would close this vlog off with a little bit of vulnerability and just let you know where I'm at. And hopefully I will continue to make these vlogs. So sometimes I just feel like, oh my God, like this is so boring, what's the point? I need to hurry though, I have to leave in six minutes. And I'm actually going to, since I have like literally an hour drive on the way there, I have saved some questions to my phone and I'm gonna do a Q and A. And if you follow me on Instagram, I only had that little story up for like probably under an hour. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by the amount of questions that come in that I'll just delete it so that I'm just able to have the questions that came in and like first come first serve type of thing. So I need to pack myself some snacks, get dressed and head to the salon. So I love you all. Thank you for watching this video and just thank you for being here for me in this phase of life and just being so supportive and wonderful. There is not a day goes by that I am not so, so, so grateful for it. So please know that I just appreciate you and love you so much. I'm washing my hands, I love you. And I will see you in the next vlog. Bye.