 George Bruno here with the 21 report. We're at the 21 summit in Orlando, Florida And I'm having a conversation with Tanner and Bracaeli Guzzi Welcome to the show. Thanks George. Absolutely. I will start with your wife. You attended here in 2017 I did Three years later now. Mm-hmm. Have you seen a difference? A huge difference a huge difference the biggest difference is that Well There are a lot of differences in 2017 I was just here to spend time with Tanner to help him with photography to just kind of run things in the back for him but I did sit in on a lot of the speeches and It was pretty uncomfortable for me It was a lot of that emphasis on on more sexual dynamics and and red pill things in that way and While I don't disagree with all of those. I certainly don't I accept a lot of them. It was just it wasn't It was uncomfortable and this year It's evolved so much I really appreciate how Anthony has allowed you speakers To evolve and to grow and to share that and to encourage that with all the other men here To hear so much talk on family and fatherhood and to see the desire of men I've seen their goals change. I've seen their desires change and what they hope to get out of the conference change Into something in my opinion that's simply more. There's more depth. There's more. There's more room For who they could be and I really appreciated that change. Yeah. Yeah, no discomfort this time around Well for different reasons. I'm just I'm uncomfortable right now. I Didn't have to do this No, but not not that same kind of discomfort. I actually have found a lot of I Felt a lot of of hope and a lot of encouragement that there are this many men and that They want To make the world bigger and better and they want it for everyone Yeah, yeah and You spoke With your husband you did kind of a Q&A session at the 22 convention Tell us about that That was interesting that I mean I was not expecting the questions that we got they were much more Straightforward I think less less philosophical a little more a little more practical And it was very fun to see those women to see them so curious and so interested in Things outside of their normal day-to-day thoughts and feelings and routines that they they were here to grow as well They were here to expand as well. Yeah. Yeah There was younger women older women divorced women single women Women who who've had babies women who've never had children and I think there was a grandmother or two in there as well Yeah, absolutely It I was not expecting there to be so many women with more wisdom more age more experience and I really appreciated what their questions actually gave back to us, you know They framed things very differently than what we were expecting and it was fantastic Tanner a different man when he's not on stage or in a situation like this The only thing that's different barely is the volume of his voice Just a little bit but Whether it's just the two of us at home or we're with friends or with family He's always exploring ideas. He's always Speaking his mind, he's always trying to to push not other people's boundaries But he is trying to push the limits of what we're all thinking about. Yes. Yeah, how do you react to? Honey, I'm gonna start boxing. I Was so excited. I was I was thrilled and I'm excited at the thought of him taking another fight next year One of my favorite things about Tanner is Watching him try different things and pushing himself out of his comfort zone because I want him to grow I want him to to be more and I knew that him getting punched in the face and getting wrecked would do that for him And I and I was excited for what that would do for our kids to see that. Yeah. Yeah And what is it a triathlon? Mm-hmm coming up now already done already done Yeah, and she was there cheering me on the whole time and she was the one who was supportive when it was Five in the morning and it was dark out and I had a five hour ride followed by an hour and a half run on a Saturday morning with the fact that she was there home alone with the kids for that many hours and she's been She's been a perfect cheerleader as I've tried to grow and expand and not only a cheerleader for me but like she said how it's been good for the kids because She takes the things that I do and the ways that I try to challenge myself and grow and then she teaches Our children why it's important and why it matters and helps them Glam on to those same principles and those same desires and so we get to tag team that and then she does the same thing herself She's very modest about the fact that you know, she's done She's done half marathons with me and you know half the metals that are hanging up in the garage Are metals that she's earned because she's pushed herself outside of her comfort zone Or we go with the kids to cheer her on for her soccer games when she's playing with her friends And so she's not just a cheerleader She's a doer and she does it within her own capacity as well and we get to lead the Lead the session for our children lead the lead that with their kids in a way that works for them, too Yeah, so you're a team. Absolutely. Yeah Are there any times that you don't feel like a team It's not as frequent as it was. I think that That's when when we do argue or their ears contention. It's because we forget that and bringing that reminder back into the conversation We're not enemies. We're on the same team. We have the same goals the same mission That's that's what pretty quickly brings it back around to being able to figure things out Yeah, the only difference is and we're very blessed. This is the situation. We're very grateful for it But throughout the majority of our marriage If not the entirety of it, the only differences have always been tactical the objectives are we're always in alignment on those and Even the greater strategies We're pretty aligned on and so if there are differences It's just down in the in the tactical approaches to things and it's like she said it if we get to the point where it's Too argumentative or it's too contentious Then one or the other of us will be able to kind of step outside and recognize We are after the same goals. The objectives are the same and then we help get the other person back into it And so there isn't disparity there and we are on the same team You were also involved in the patriarch event as well Tell me about that. That was my favorite. That was my favorite part The sincerity of the attendees and the speakers is something that really moved me We were we're blessed to grow we've grown up in a culture where fatherhood and family is it's what you do. It's reinforced It's emphasized. It's a very natural course of life But when we get glimpses outside of our community, it can be very disheartening People don't care or they don't care to do it right. Most people live on autopilot And so to come here and to to witness this to witness a lot of the speakers brought up this fire, you know and to witness all of these men a room full of men to have that that fire and that drive was Was so encouraging. He was inspiring. I did hear the phrase light yourself on fire or something like that. Yeah, yeah, and I thought that was interesting and A lot of people alluded to that alluded to that Let me ask you this is the word Patriarchy or patriarch offensive to you in any way not to me personally, okay, not at all It's something that I I cherish it. I love it. I grew up you cherish the patriarchy. I do When I'm hearing the message out in the world smash the patriarchy Why would someone want to do that? Smash it. Yeah That's a good question I Think all a lot of that obviously is based in fear and I Think women as a whole are we're afraid to relinquish Any control we have or perceived control that we have over our own lives or even over our own desires and And The thought of giving that up. I know for my mom she was very she wasn't very She did not cherish the patriarchy. She's a good woman. She did not cherish the patriarchy. It scared her That's what she talked about. She was just afraid. I watched her be very afraid to hand anything over to anybody else and I think it's that fear of a lack of control and It drives us to anger and it drives us to do all sorts of things and I'm not sure what that fear is based in I I don't know I don't know if you have generations of women who couldn't trust their fathers or their husbands or You know, I haven't really decided for myself what I think that's based in but it is it just seems They just seem scared How have you seen your wife grow? And how have I not When we first got married I was 26 and she was 21 so we were young and That's one of the things that I love about is that neither one of us were the I Used this term before but we weren't calcified in who we were It wasn't these hard edges that you're then trying to mesh into a functioning couple but we were both very malleable and soft and capable of growing into something together and so I've seen her go from this this same kind of fear to the willing and Willful I'm going to submit on this or I'm going to relinquish control on that to Seeing that Because she does that and I have to then step up my game that it does bear good fruit for both of us To seeing her fully embrace it one of the examples that she gave in both Patriarch and 22 was talking about we're in New York a few months ago before all the COVID stuff hit and She was able to just fully enjoy the experience because she knew that I Was the one who was keeping track of where we were going and what our time schedule was She knew that I was the one who was aware of who and what was around us Which doesn't mean that she could totally turn off and that she wasn't self-aware and stuff like that But she was able to drink in New York in a way that she would never Otherwise have been able to if she had to shoulder all these other responsibilities And so for her to get to Experience participate in the freedom of that and she gets to do that with with our kids And at the same time like I've talked about she continues to grow I see her make concerted efforts to be a more deliberate mother to be softer to be more patient to be more forgiving I see her teach our daughters To bring more beauty into the world and to celebrate that I see her reinforce the things that I try and teach my son There's something so great About my son hitting he's six He's not even really lifting any weight But he hits a little PR on deadlift and as soon as we're done bumping our chest The first thing he wants to do is run in and tell mom about it and for her to be Genuinely excited about it for him not a condescending. Oh, that's cute because I don't understand that's man stuff Whatever but for her to be genuinely excited about it And she wouldn't have been that way nine years ago because she wouldn't have understood and so she continues to The way that she described this with the women in 22 is something that I love because there are truths that we talk about here And they set her brain on fire Because it hurts to see that and the desire is to resist that You don't want to acknowledge that women are this way or that men are this way or that because we're this way it leads to that or anything else and infinitely to her credit when something sets her brain on fire rather than turning away from it she goes toward it she leans into it and fully lets it deconstruct her and Then like a phoenix she she builds back up into what it is and then she set free every single time it happens And I see her do it again and again and again and the love and the trust that's there because I know that whatever the truth is If it's a real truth and it's a good truth when she does lean into it And she does allow it to set her on fire and we find out that it's good that she will embrace it That kind of growth is phenomenal. I've loved seeing that over the last decade Wow, thank you. That's great Over a year ago was the first patriarch and In my speech I talked about the nighttime rituals That I do with my children and When you teach them Nighttime rituals those are the things that they will do to calm themselves as they get older and you shared some nighttime Rituals what are nighttime rituals in the guzzie household in the guzzie household? When they when they come in after playing with friends or doing whatever they're doing some of our nighttime rituals are We always read together always always read together We take turns putting the girls down and putting our son down we alternate that and It involves Breaking down our days. We do what's called a guzzie breakdown and we ask them We say we go through this. Who are we guzzies? What do we do hard things and then we ask each kid What hard thing did you do today? How did you overcome it? And then we ask them the same things with kind things good things and fun things We we study our scriptures together and we pray together and There's a lot of physical contact. There's a lot of recharging that goes on that way and We one thing that we found is that the more we set our phones down in a way and the more I contact the more physical contact we give them the more just attention we pour on them The better they sleep they don't come out of their bedrooms five times a night for water or a bathroom or whatever It is trying to get contact because that's what it really is when we give them everything They're settled. They're calm and don't think that it's all picturesque because what happens Seven out of ten nights is that whoever's turned it is to have dad put them down instead of have mom put them down Is devastated that it's not their turn to have mom put them down So that's a little bit of the balance that comes with that but we get to work through that stuff too. Yeah, yeah But that has definitely been true. I mean, there's four of them. So there's there's chaos There's trying to jump on the trampoline one last time before we throw them in bed, but it's good chaos It is it's good chaos. It is Because it is it's there it's our kids being kids It's them half the time what we're trying to get them to stop doing is to stop playing with each other So that they can actually calm down and go to sleep because they're having too much fun Throwing stuffed animals up the stairs and trying to catch them or drop them down on each other most the time the chaos is Them being phenomenal siblings with each other and yeah, they fight definitely and there's a lot of The age dynamics and the and the gender dynamics and all these other things that come into play But the majority of the chaos is is good chaos and we just try and channel it instead of kill it What would you tell women? in general Is there a general message for women who want? Family Find a good husband, and I think I'm gonna have you talk to them. They're right in that camera Go ahead to Be humble I've said this a couple of times, but but be humble you have changes to make and you have strengths to build on and you can't See either of those clearly unless you're humble unless you're willing to be honest with yourself and Go through the pain that it takes to build yourself into someone who can Be a good wife and a good mother and a good sister. So be humble cherishing the patriarchy and good chaos Conversation with Tanner and for Kaylee cuz he thank you. Thanks George