 Amen. First Corinthians chapter 5. So there's probably 20 different sermons in First Corinthians chapter 5, but we're talking about church culture, so it's a good chapter for us in general. We've been talking about church culture for the last couple of weeks. We'll talk about it again this morning, how we want to be a, you know, function as a church together. This is going to be a very practical sermon, as it was last week, with some very practical, specific examples of the type of culture that we want to have in this church. So in the end, the middle to end part of this chapter, we're talking about how the brethren should function together. Look down at verse number 22, which will be the focus of the sermon this morning, where the Bible says abstain, or look at your bulletin, abstain from all appearance of evil. That's the verse of the week. So that's what we're going to talk about this morning, is First Thessalonians 5.22. Now let me just give a little bit of a preemption this morning. I am sure that there is going to be people here this morning that hear this sermon and say, wow, that's extreme. Wow, that doesn't seem, that seems like something that, you know, is extra, or over the top, or whatever. But here's the thing, I don't really care what you think. I care what the Bible says, and that's the way the church will function. How you run your life, that's up to you. But hopefully, I can convince you to think about a few things this morning in that area as well. So First Thessalonians 5 in verse number 22, it doesn't say abstain from evil. It says abstain from the appearance of evil. Now today, you will have people that it almost seems like they are, look, the world doesn't agree with this verse today. The world says, oh, you know, I'm not doing anything wrong. If you think that I could possibly be doing something wrong, that's your problem. But that's not what the Bible says. The Bible says abstain from even the appearance of something that's wrong or something that's evil in this case. So we're talking about church culture this morning. Let me just start off by saying this. Not much, or maybe even nothing about our culture today is appropriate. Okay, so we're going to talk about the relationships between men and women in the church, and appropriate relationships between men and women in the church. Nothing about our culture today is appropriate. Please keep that in the back of your mind when you think, wow, that doesn't seem like that's something wrong. I'm going to say something this morning. Just remember, everything that you've been taught from the world is wrong, or backwards. Okay, look, people don't even know, and I'll prove this to you today, people don't even know what is appropriate anymore in this country, in this world that we live in. Look, if you would mention these things, because I've done this, I've done this just recently, I've mentioned some of these things to people that I work with, and people look at you like you're crazy if you mention some of these things. I'll give some more examples about that later, but let's talk about appropriate relationships between men and women in the church. So, you know, we want a biblically appropriate culture here. We don't really care about the world, I'll show you what the world thinks and how fast the world is changing in some of these areas. But first, to understand what I'm going to teach on this subject, we need to do a short Bible study. Okay, turn to Exodus chapter 34. And the first thing that I need to do is I need to show you the difference in the Bible between jealousy and envy in the Bible. So, let's do a short Bible study, and then we'll get back to and apply the sermon to appropriate relationships between men and women in the church. Look at Exodus chapter 34. First, I want to show you and I want to talk to you about jealousy. What I'm going to tell you this morning is that the world's definition of jealousy is wrong. Even the dictionary definition of jealousy is wrong according to the Bible. And I will show you the definition of jealousy from the Bible now. Look at Exodus chapter 34 and verse number 12. The Bible says, and look, I can't get to all the verses on jealousy in the Bible. I just want to prove my point and then we'll move on to envy. Look at Exodus 34 and verse 12. The Bible says, take heed to thyself, lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land with a thou goest. lest it be for a snare in the midst of thee, but ye shall destroy their altars, break their images, and cut down their groves. So here he's saying, have nothing to do with these pagan, heathen people that you're going to possess their land because, you know, they have, they worship false gods and they have all these altars and groves. And look at verse 14. For thou shalt worship no other god. This is God giving command, by the way. This is God speaking, God giving command. For you shall worship no other god. Smaller case, lower case G. Smaller case, lower case G. For the Lord, whose name is jealous, is a jealous God. So look, it doesn't just say God is jealous here. That's one of his names. It's one of his names. Turn to 2 Corinthians chapter 11. So first of all, we see that God is jealous. He's jealous over his people in this case. Look at 2 Corinthians chapter 11 and look at verse number two. 2 Corinthians chapter 11 and verse number two. The Bible says, look, there's a lot of different places in the Bible about this. I want to show you some New Testament and Old Testament examples. In 2 Corinthians 11, too, the Bible says, for I am jealous over you with godly jealousy. For I have espoused you to one husband that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. So here we see that you can have a godly jealousy. God is jealous. Obviously, you can have a godly jealousy. And he's jealous over us. So what does that mean? Because it certainly isn't portrayed as a good thing in the culture that we live in today. If you say somebody is jealous or you have a jealous husband or somebody is jealous over somebody else, it's generally looked at as a bad thing. It's used as a bad thing. And herein lies the problem. Our modern definition of things many times is not correct according to the Bible. Let me read for you the definition from dictionary.com about the word jealous. And I'll prove it to you. An adjective. So there's three different definitions of jealous in dictionary.com. The first one is this. Feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages. In example sentence, he grew jealous of her success. The second one. Feeling or showing suspicion of someone's unfaithfulness in a relationship. A jealous boyfriend. This is the dictionary terms, not mine. And then the third one is this. Fiercely protective or vigilant of one's rights or possessions. Now, here you have a dictionary.com definition. There's three definitions. Two of them are wrong. They're literally incorrect. I mean the dictionary definition of this word in our modern language is incorrect. The first one is feeling or showing envy. That's wrong because envy and jealousy are not the same thing. And I'm going to show you that. Showing envy of someone or their achievement and advantages. So being envious, it's saying being envious and jealous are basically the same thing. Which is not true. And the second one is feeling or showing suspicion of someone's unfaithfulness in a relationship. And then that I could almost agree with that one. Except then it gives an example of a jealous boyfriend. Which, you know, I'll explain that one to you in a few minutes. But two of these three definitions are wrong, folks. We'll talk about that later. But first of all, let's talk about the correct definition of jealousy. Well, first of all, turn to Ezekiel chapter 16. Can God sin? Can God do anything bad? He cannot. God is perfect. God cannot sin. It even says in Titus that God is unable to lie. God can't even lie. Look at Ezekiel 16.8. The Bible says, Now when I pass by thee and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love, and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness, yea, I swear unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord God, and thou becameest mine. Turn to Ruth chapter 3 in verse number 9. Let me explain this phrase, spread my skirt. In this case, the Bible is saying, spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness. But look, what it means is this. In Ruth chapter 3 in verse number 9, Ruth is asking Boaz to marry her, and he says in verse number 9, he said, Who art thou? And she answered, I am Ruth thy handmaid. Therefore, spread thy skirt over thy handmaid for thou art a near kinsman. Look, it means marry me. That's what that means. It's a phrase that means, let's be married. So God is saying he's married to us in Ezekiel 16, and in Ruth it's talking about the same thing. Look, God considers us the saved his spouse. Is what I'm trying to get at. Turn to Leviticus chapter 20. Leviticus chapter 20. So God considers us his spouse, what does that mean? This is a theme that is all over the Bible, that we belong to the Lord. Look at Leviticus chapter 20 in verse number 26. Leviticus chapter 20 in verse number 26. The Bible says, And ye shall be holy unto me, for I the Lord am holy, and have severed you from other people, that ye should be mine. Sounds like we belong to him. Turn to 1 Corinthians chapter 6. You say, that's the Old Testament. I mean, I don't even know what that means when people say that. But whatever. Go to the New Testament, 1 Corinthians chapter 6, and look at verse number 20. 1 Corinthians chapter 6 and verse number 20. 1 Corinthians chapter 6 and verse number 20. The Bible says, For ye are bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are gods. Look, we belong to the Lord, and he is jealous over us. Look, God is jealous. God considers us his spouse, and he's jealous over that. Now, turn to 1 chapter over to 1 Corinthians chapter 7. We belong to him. 1 Corinthians chapter 7. And look at verse number 2. Now, this also can be applied to a husband and wife in the church everywhere. In 1 Corinthians chapter 7, we see this. Look at 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and verse number 2. So, God is jealous over his spouse, which is us, because we belong to him. So, jealousy we can look at as something that belongs to you, that you are protective over because it's yours, is what the Bible teaches. 1 Corinthians 7, look at verse 2. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife. Sounds like she belongs to him. And let every woman have her own husband. Sounds like he belongs to her. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence, and likewise also, the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband. And likewise, also the husband hath not power over his own body, but the wife. Verse number 5. Defraud ye not one another, except it be consent for a time that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again that Satan tempts you not for your incontinence. See, this is talking about the physical relationship between a man and a woman. But the overall theme here is that you belong to your wife, men. And men, your wife belongs to you. You belong to each other. Kind of sounds like two became one flesh. Genesis 2. Turn to Proverbs chapter 14. I mean, Genesis 2.24 says, therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall become one flesh. So God is jealous over us. And the Bible also teaches that God is, you know, we are God's spouse. And thus, a husband and wife, you know, belong to each other. So it is okay to have godly jealousy towards your spouse or for your spouse because she is yours. He is yours. So jealousy is not a bad thing. There's a godly jealousy in the Bible. Now on the flip side of that, the dictionary told us that jealousy and envy are the same thing. Look what the Bible says about envy. Look at Proverbs chapter 14. A sound heart is the life of the flesh. But envy, the rottenness of the bones. That doesn't sound good. Envy is bad, folks. Turn to James chapter 4. So why is it bad? What is the difference? The dictionary tells me that it's the same. What does the Bible say? Turn to James chapter 4. Another reason you need to have a King James Bible, by the way, because the new Bible versions, they just flip this word around. They just use these words flippantly like it doesn't matter what these words say or what these words mean. James 4, look at verse number 5. Talking about envy. Do you think that the Scripture sayeth in vain the Spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? So here we see envy tied to lust. Here we see envy tied to lust. Look at Proverbs 27 verse 4. Proverbs 27 in verse number 4. The Bible says, Wrath is cruel and anger is outrageous, but who is able to stand before envy? Look, envy is not the same as jealousy, folks. Envy is lusting or coveting over something that is not yours. Jealousy is being protective over something that is yours. Completely different things. One is good, one is bad. So look, this is another reason you need a King James Bible. You need a King James Bible because the modern Bible versions and even the dictionary itself have blended these two words together. First of all, it dumps down the English language. You're going to get a lot of rounding errors. Remember we talked about rounding errors? Out of the King James sermon last Sunday night. Look, jealous is something that belongs to you. Envy is covetousness over something that belongs to someone else. Covetousness and envy go hand in hand. So how do we apply this to the church? Now that we know these two differences, how do we apply this to the church? How do we apply this to appropriate relationships between men and women in the church? That's where we're going to go now. Now look, I'm going to get very specific. I'm going to talk to the married people and then I want to talk to the single people about what's appropriate and what's not. So first let's start with the married people. Married people. You need to understand, and everybody actually needs to understand this, we'll get to the single people in a minute, that somebody's spouse belongs to their spouse. You should respect that fact in the church, in general in your life, but in the church we will respect that fact. Men and women not married should not be in conversations together. What does that mean? Does that mean that I can't say hi to somebody? No, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about being friendly, I'm not talking about saying hi to somebody, good morning to somebody. I'm talking about being in separated conversations with someone who is not your wife or not your husband. It's not appropriate. It's not appropriate. Because look, here's why. Let me just give you the two scenarios, married men talking to other married women. That's scenario number one. Or married men talking to single women. Either of those two are not appropriate situations. And look, I've seen some of this here and it should not happen. And vice versa with women. People today will say this is crazy. People today will say this is paranoid. People today will say this is sexist. But look, I don't even know what that means. Because here in this church, we acknowledge the difference between men and women, first of all. We acknowledge their roles in life and in the marriage. We acknowledge these differences and the Bible acknowledges these differences. We're not going to play this game where just nothing's wrong and nothing is appropriate. Everyone else in this world, folks, has blinders on when it comes to these things. I actually have a recent story from a work situation I was in. And I mean, I don't go to work and say, I am not allowed to be in a room. I mean, I don't go and announce these things. But look, I just keep myself appropriate in work situations. I don't have to, I just make sure. There's a lot of planning that goes in up here to make sure I'm not in an appropriate situation. There's women in the workplace today. It's not my wheelhouse if another man sends his wife to work. My wife's not there, but some other men's wives are. So I must respect that fact, the Bible says. But look, I was in a situation where I had a person that works at a different company and I would get together and we would drive around job sites every week, every two weeks. And it was just this guy and I in a truck every single week, one-on-one just checking some things out. Well, it turns out that the person that was replacing me was a woman. And this woman was to now go and do this, this drive. And I just mentioned to one of the bosses that, hey, you might want to make sure that it is okay with this man to drive around with, you know, a woman, you know, one-on-one. Just to make sure you don't offend him or put him in an awkward position. Everyone's like that. I just said it to one person. He's like, that could be considered sexist today. I'm like, consider it whatever you want. But you might want to just be polite and just... There's nothing against the woman. It was about putting this married man in a situation that he might not want to be in. That's all. The woman and men go to lunch together, carpool together. I've been watching this for 10, 15, 20 years. It's not appropriate. And many times, it's not just the appearance of evil. Let me tell you. But look, we must avoid these appearances of evil. We will not do this type of thing in the church. I don't care what the world thinks at all. I mean, if you think that this is weird and you're going to go and put the world on this, two things. Two things that I'll just remind you of. First of all, 50% of marriages in this country right now end in divorce. That's half. And that depends on who you ask. That's a conservative number. I've heard up to 75% talking to certain, you know, different polls. And the second thing is, you know, you'll not do it here. Whatever you want to do in your life, you know, the church is different. It's not appropriate to do this here. So we'll have an appropriate biblical culture here. Men and women should not be having conversations with the opposite sex other than their spouse when they're married. It's not appropriate because why? Because it could provoke the other spouse to jealousy. That's the first reason. Why is that guy always talking to my wife all the time? She doesn't ever even want to talk to me. And it will give that spirit. Turn to Deuteronomy chapter 5. I don't have this in my notes, but Deuteronomy chapter 5, it will provoke that spirit of jealousy. You say, but that's bad. That's spirit of jealousy. Somebody shouldn't be jealous over somebody else talking to his wife. That's an insecure person. No, there's a spirit of jealousy there. Look at the Bible. It talks about this. In Deuteronomy, I'm sorry, I think it's Numbers 5. Numbers 5 28. 29. Sorry. Numbers 5, 29. So this is talking about a woman who's been caught or been accused of adultery here in Numbers chapter 5. And in this case, she was brought and she was either guilty or not. And look, if she was not guilty of adultery, then there was just nothing that happened. And she had children, you know, and everything's good. But look, in verse 29 of Numbers chapter 5, this is the law of jealousies. When a wife goeth aside to another instead of her husband and is defiled, or when the spirit of jealousy, sorry, number 30, and he be jealous over his wife and shall set the woman before the Lord, it doesn't say, then they shall tell the husband, quit being jealous. Moron. You know, it says, no, they shall set the woman before the Lord and the priest shall execute his law. Look, they take her to a judge. If there's a spirit of jealousy, they're like, okay, they investigate why that happened. They investigate, and look, and if there was no cause for it, then nothing happens. But look, we don't want to provoke a spirit of jealousy in anybody. All right, and look, it could appear evil. That's the second thing. It could appear evil. And don't tell me that it won't. Because it will. Because whenever you have a, whenever I see a married man and a married woman going out to lunch together in one of their, I mean, everybody is saying what's going on there. Even if they won't say it out loud. That's what they're thinking. And we won't have that type of thing here. They're like, why are those two friends? Here's another statement. As a married man, you should never have a friend who is a female. Ever. You're like, what? That's extreme. No, that's the truth. Why would you want that anyway? You ever met a guy who just never wants to talk to the other guys? It's weird. Something's wrong there. I noticed that. That's like a red flag for me. Whenever you see like a teenage young man that never wants to talk to the other man or whatever, I mean, it's weird. You know, and I get it, teenage young men are going to want to talk to teenage young women and we'll get to that in a minute. A man who just never wants to talk to the other men? Red flag. Something's wrong. You should never, married men should never have a friend who is female. Ever. Blanket statement. I don't like blanket statements, but that's a good one. Alright, look. We don't want the appearance of evil. We don't want the spirit of jealousy provoked between a spouse. A wife can have a spirit of jealousy over her husband. Why is my husband constantly talking? I mean, he never talks to me. It doesn't mean that something's happening, but it appears evil to other people and it provokes the spirit of jealousy in his spouse. It's no good. Don't do it. So those are the rules for the marites. Single people. What are the rules here? So first of all, let me define single. Turn to Luke chapter 16. Turn to Luke chapter 16. The definition of single as far as this church goes is this. Eligible to be married. That's what the definition of single is in this church. You're like, what? Yeah, it's going to be different out there. It means eligible to be married. Meaning if you're divorced, you're not single. According to the definition of eligible to be married. Look at Luke chapter 16. You say, why is that? Here's why. Verse 16 and verse number 18. The Bible says, whosoever puteth away his wife. These are red words in your Bible, by the way. Meaning these are Jesus's words. Whosoever puteth away his wife, that means divorces his wife and marries with another, commiteth adultery. That covers the guy who he's married and he finds somebody better and then he's like, I'm going to divorce this one and get married to that one. That's adultery. What that man did. And what about the woman that's divorced? Well, keep reading. Whosoever marries her, that is put away from her husband, commiteth adultery. Translation, if you're divorced, the Bible teaches you should stay unmarried. That's what the Bible teaches. The definition of single people that are talking to other single people in the church in an appropriate situation should be two people that are eligible to be married. When I say single people, that's what I mean. Okay? If you're divorced, I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just explaining what the Bible says. People have gotten divorced, people get divorced. I understand that, but you just need to do the right thing going forward is what the key is. We're talking about the culture of the church. Let's talk about the single people, most of which are going to be younger people. Here's rule number one. Single people should only be in conversations with other eligible single people. What does that mean? That means that they should not be in conversations with married people of the opposite sex or conversations with divorced people of the opposite sex because they're not eligible to be married. And when these conversations happen, they should be in an appropriate environment, an appropriate setting, not in a private room somewhere. They should be open of the church. The church is in an appropriate setting. Turn to 1 Corinthians 6. You say, why? This is extreme. I'm not even getting started on this one. You say, this is extreme. It's like, you're crazy. No, I'll tell you what crazy is. I'm going to explain to you what crazy is. Okay, turn to 1 Corinthians 6. Single people should only be in conversations with other eligible married single people in the church in an appropriate open setting. Not back in the corner in the kitchen somewhere out of the open where people can see and that's what is appropriate here. Okay, look at 1 Corinthians 6. You say, why? You're crazy. No, you're crazy. The Bible says flea fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body. Sineth committed fornication. Sineth against his own body. Fornication, what's the definition of fornication? It is a physical relationship between a man and a woman that is outside of marriage. Everybody thinks this is crazy now. The Bible says that the physical relationship between a man and a woman is to be exclusively inside the marriage, period. The Bible says flea fornication. It doesn't say don't fornicate. It doesn't even get close to it. It is a serious temptation for young people especially today. Look, here's the world's way. You say how big of a temptation is it? How big of a temptation is it? Look, here's the thing. One in four people, one in four people as of two years ago believe that fornication is wrong. Only one in four. 75% of the people in this country think that physical relationships between a man and a woman is okay, is moral outside of marriage. That's insane. It's one thing to be just in sin but at least knowing what's right. But you know what the next stage after that is? Is that you just change your own morality to what fits you and what fits your kids. That's what happened with the baby boomers. All their kids turned out to be fornicating, wicked people. They just changed their morals. How many older people over the age of 60 do know that they started out conservative and now they're liberal? It's huge. I see it all the time. This figure was almost 50% in 2001. 50% in 2001 was wrong to fornicate outside of marriage and now it's 25%. That's how fast things are going down this slope. 20 years ago the CDC's National Survey of Family Growth for 2015 through 2017 found that 90% of young men 15 to 49 have fornicated before marriage. Pretty much everybody's doing it. So it's kind of a problem. If you're reading the Bible anyway. Or you can just change your morality and then I guess it's not a problem. But here's the thing. According to statistics by WebMD 75% of marriages with infidelity eventually end up in divorce. And about 40% of divorces in general are because of infidelity. So when I'm trying to get you to understand and you'll never see this connection in a study but this attitude this culture of fornication is following itself into marriage. That's what's happening. This culture of fornication kids they grow up fornications fine their parents are like fornications fine the kids all how's your kids? Oh they're living with so and so and we wish they would get married and pretty soon it's just they're living with another person and another person and another person normal. That's where it's at today. And then they get actually married to somebody and they're like well what's the difference? They've been living with people their whole life and then they get married to somebody and then now it's adultery and they end up getting divorced because of it. It's the same culture that just follows them right into marriage. That's where you get your 50% your 75% divorce rate right there. But wait there's more. Let me give you some more worldly wisdom. 20% of the US population that's everybody that's 1 in 5 has an STD. You're like I can't believe you're talking about this in church. Look somebody's got to talk about this. 20% 1 in 5 people has a sexually transmitted disease. Half of these are youth 15 to 24 year olds meaning 1 in 4 or 1 in 3 of these teenagers not these teenagers but fornicating teenagers has a disease from fornication. Turn to Ephesians chapter 5 that should make you like go ugh. Turn to Ephesians chapter 5. Look there's the world for you folks. That's the world. That's what the world's producing. That's what the world's beliefs. The world's moral slide. That's what it's producing. This generation, what do we want for our kids? You're like this is old fashioned. Yes it is. This is a fundamental Baptist church. We're not going to change the fundamentals for anybody. I don't care how bad it gets. I don't care if 99.99 every single kid except for the kids in this church are fornicating. I don't care. We're not changing. The Bible is the Bible. I am the Lord. I change not. Ephesians chapter 5. Look at verse number 3. But fornication and all uncleanness verse number 4 neither filthiness. Look there's a reason that fornication is called unclean and filthy. It's because it is. It leads to disease. Many of these diseases can't be cured. Many of these diseases will cause cancer. They will cause women to not be able to have children. It's worse on the women all the time. Protect your daughters. It's worse on the women all the time. That's the world's wisdom and that's where it will lead you into filthiness and uncleanness. Fornication, filthiness and marriages ending in divorce. This culture that you can't kick off one thing that being in the ministry and I kind of knew this a little bit but being in the ministry will show you that it's really hard for people to get out of their back. Especially somebody that's a little older maybe past the age of 30 they say that once you're 30 you're set in your ways. That's why your music is set in your mind many times your political opinions are set in your mind at that point. We have to be different. That's why we're having sermons on church culture because it shouldn't matter what the culture you came from or what you were taught you have to understand there's a very, very good chance that it's all wrong. The Bible will lead you to appropriate relationships from the start and they will end in lifelong marriages that can be the best gift you could ever have in your life on this earth. You say salvation is pretty good. I'm not talking about spiritual gifts. A great marriage is something that can be I think probably up there with kids and a good marriage should be one of the best blessings that you could have on this earth. And look if you follow what the Bible teaches you say my marriage isn't good right now. Look you can change that too. You can change your culture and you can fix your marriage and you just have to listen to what the Bible says and forget what everybody else is telling you. It's the opposite of the truth. So let's go back to church culture. Single people talking to eligible single people of the opposite sex not married people, not divorced people and in an appropriate atmosphere. And look outside the church and this isn't my wheelhouse look you're like can't I go on a date as a single person? Yes you can go on a date as a single person but someone should go with you. You should have an appropriate you know you should not be riding a drone in a car together a single man and a single woman should not happen you're like wow that's old fashioned you bet it is. Flea fornication don't even get close to it don't even put that opportunity in front of you. This is how you do it preferably your parents would be you know the chaperones in that type of situation. So let's just recap to avoid the appearance of evil and to respect the jealousy a spouse has over their husband or wife we need an appropriate culture but look I'm being specific because I've seen some of this stuff here okay I've seen some of this stuff here and I'm not saying that there was evil intent or anything like that but we don't want to see this type of thing. So in the church we need to avoid the appearance of evil we shouldn't see married men talking to married or single women. Married men you cannot have a friend who is female sorry it's not appropriate. Single men or single women talking to ineligible people of the opposite sex married divorced etc but look please don't misunderstand me this does not mean you cannot be friendly this does not mean that you know when my wife walks in the door that every man is like that's not what I'm talking about let's be reasonable here or even ladies specifically ladies that you can't have access to your pastor. You're saying well can I not be in a church and have access to my pastor if I need advice or something like that let me explain to you how that works okay first of all you can ask my wife because you know what my wife ladies you know what my wife does with many things as the Bible said that she should she will ask me so you could ask my wife could you ask your husband's opinion on this and my wife will ask me and I can talk to you through my wife that's one way I can talk to you you know in person no problem but there's never going to be a time when I'm you know talking with a woman in a counseling type situation and my wife is not there so my wife is just going to be there that's just the way and preferably your husband would be there too but that's there's never going to be a situation like that with me and somebody else's wife or a single person or whatever in a counseling it's not appropriate it's not even close to appropriate you say but you know you're going to be the pastor of this church god willing they don't mess it up but you know but you're a pastor you're the spiritual leader look do you know how many pastors have done wicked things look I mean everyone thinks that everyone thinks that oh this is church nothing bad could ever happen here I mean there's a reason that there's cameras everywhere in the church because look I mean we're not paranoid but yeah we kind of are when it comes to protecting people okay look you can't just be like oh these people are from church they can just watch my kids or these people are from church these two are always hanging out together this married man and married woman look I've seen affairs happen in church it's ridiculous my wife and I were just talking about it yesterday and you kind of we all knew something was going on because you're like that's weird that she's always out talking to all these different people and he's always out talking to other people besides his wife it's strange everybody knew it was strange nobody wanted to say anything but look it appeared evil so we're going to avoid that appearance here you know I mean so don't forget that I mean especially when it comes to people like watching your kids too be careful I mean be careful this isn't the scope of the sermon but I mean oh they're church people look we're family integrated we're family integrated let me tell you another story and I might have mentioned this to a couple of you but I actually got insurance for the new church and this is super interesting but I actually got insurance for the new church last week and the guy who's going over the insurance policy with me he asked this question like over what kind of coverages we need what kind of coverages and things like that if somebody would get hurt in the church he's like how many people go to the church and then he said okay what kind of things do you have and he asked me there's a weird question he's like well what kind of breakout groups do you have at the church he's like small groups like youth groups like Sunday schools and all this and it's like we don't have any groups like that we're never going to have any groups like that I'm not saying we're not going to have youth activities someday and there's never going to be all these breakout groups these small little bible studies of young marriage and all this stuff at people's houses without the pastor there and all this kind of stuff he's like what kind of breakout groups do you have especially for the kids and I was like none we're family integrated the kids are in the church there's no Sunday school there's no breakout groups like that and he's like okay you won't need let me just say the appropriate the same type of church the same kind of policy the Catholic church probably needs or the Boy Scouts need we don't need that because look insurance companies they know where these things happen they know the risk they're experts at doing risk analysis on things because they're a for profit company but I thought it was super interesting so look we're talking about being appropriate in the church that's just a side note but here's another thing let me just end with this be appropriate in your life you know this is the church you know I mean it's this is my scope here right and we will have things be a certain appropriate way here but look you would be wise to apply these things to your life you would be wise it will help your marriage young people it will help you avoid fornication you know as the bible says that you should apply these things to your life it will lead to long healthy relationships both married and unmarried a lot of these things these things seem weird especially maybe to you young people today but it's the culture here and you'd be wise to forget as much as you possibly can of what the world has taught you it's gone bad it's gone bad and it's getting worse I mean one in four I was look I know how bad the world is I preach on it like every single Sunday and one in four only 25% of people think look I could agree I've been surprised if the number would have been like people that are just allowing it people that are allowing their children to be in fornication people that are looking the other way that their children are in fornication or that people are in fornication but I never would have thought that it was only 25% that actually thought it was wrong to be in fornication I mean you have got to be kidding me as something as basic as that the relationship between I mean just think of the question is the physical relationship between a man and a woman only for marriage or does it not matter if it's outside of marriage and 75% of people say it doesn't matter that's where it's at I mean you should all be thanking God that you have the Bible in front of you I mean we have become a society without morals and we have been to just destruction and disease of just generation after generation and after generation and we can avoid it all here we can avoid it all here and you can avoid it all in your families you can have healthy happy marriages you can raise godly children that grow up and you know what they want to get married pure and they want to stay married the whole life and they want to have a great marriage I mean look it's possible it's possible but you just got to forget everything else and that's why we're talking about these things apply it to your life not just the church the entire Bible apply it to your life and see how things go for you let's borrow our heads and have a word of prayer