 The Great Gilder Sleeves! We also bring you Bing Crosby every Thursday night, present each week at this time Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve, written by John Whedon. Well, Summerfield is a plunder. Showbills have appeared around town announcing a revival of the student prince starring Virella Val of the original company. When the box office opened this morning the first in line was our friend the Great Gilder Sleeve and we find him now at home Stretched out on the couch gazing into the fire and warming himself in the memory of days gone by While through his head run the immortal melodies of Sigmund Romberg She was lovely she was lovely Virella Val I told you I don't like that song I don't like a song that makes fun of anyone's physical peculiarities Well, gee yank, you don't have to take it personally. I Don't see any other way to take it. It's certainly not music. Mr. Five by Must you sing that song? Well, you would sing in Mr. Gerslee. Let me make my position clear to everyone I do not like Mr. Five by Five. I don't want to hear it. You must sing it sing it when I'm not around Can I even play the record? No, it's Freddie Slacks band Freddie slack. I don't care if it's Kusovitsky's I don't like it But why not because it's well, it's ungrammatical for one thing. He don't measure no more What kind of talk is that that's just a jive talk? Well, I'm not gonna have this place turned into a juke joint And that's final. Let's have no more discussion of it a birdie. When's dinner gonna be ready? Oh my goodness That's what I came in to tell you what it's ready. You live on one upset until your sister will you okay? Oh, what's the use? I'll be right in birdie. By the way, what are we having tonight? Well, we have a turkey, but we had turkey last night. We've had turkey croquettes We've had turkey hash. We've had cold turkey and warmed over turkey. Well, that's turkey for you Give it here. No, it's my just a minute my dear don't snatch I don't see why he has to come snooping around my bedroom. Uncle more. Tell me. Yeah, I told you nothing of the kind I told you to go up and tell her dinner was ready and it is come on We'll settle this at the dinner table. Well, Leroy has no business taking things that don't belong to you. You're quite right my dear Leroy give it back to her. Whatever it is. What is it anyway? Just an old picture out of a magazine. It's Alan Ladd. She thinks he's murdered Leroy, I'd like to break your neck and who may I ask is Alan Ladd Oh, you know when he played in that movie with Veronica Lake. Who's Veronica Lake? Are you kidding? Gangsters, he talks with his mouth shut. Come one step closer, bud, and you're dead That is not like Alan Ladd. Well, you don't know Veronica Lake. Leroy eats your soup I Don't know what this generation is coming through anyway movies gangsters juke joints. Mr. Five by five. Yeah In my day, we had good wholesome artistic entertainment and we enjoyed such as what uncle more the merry widow Oh, you kid. No. No, not the merry widow. I'm not quite as old and dilapidated as you might think What I'd like to know what you thought was hot stuff when you were young Marjorie I don't recall that we ever referred to it as hot stuff, but as long as I live I'll never forget a performance. I saw of the student prince. Oh, brother. Oh For goodness sake is playing here right now. It opens tomorrow. I know that my dear and with the same star I saw in it Vera Laval. Oh, she was a gorgeous thing Golden curls and blue eyes and dimples and a smile. Well, I saw it four times My uncle Lord, I never thought of you as a stage door Johnny You may think you're joking my dear, but as a matter of fact, I did wait outside the stage door for one afternoon I stood three hours in the snow just waiting for a glimpse of her. What happened? Nothing. They weren't giving him out And they that day I Think that's a oh, but that didn't stop me. I went back to the stage door again that night Did she come out? No, she came out the front door But I saw her and I ran after and that was when she spoke to me What did she say? Well, I remember she was getting into a cab and I saw a glove lying at her feet I picked it up and gave it to her and what did she say? She said it wasn't hers But she was wonderful, I remember a song she sang deep in my heart I have a dream of you Fashion of starlight Perfume of Ro and she sang that the whole audience rose to his feet as one man. I walked out Young man, have you ever seen the student prince? Nope, and I'll thank you to reserve criticism until you have Excuse me. Is everything all right? Oh, yes pretty all ring when we finished the suit. Yes, I thought I heard Mr What Mr. Gillisley was not hollering the idea I don't know I've been hearing things lately must be the gremlins or something You may take up my plate now birdie. I don't care for any soup. Don't you eat it all did I oh, well take it away anyway I'm not very hungry this evening. Oh, I didn't mean to make you mad uncle. I'm not mad Leroy I'm just distressed at what seems to be a serious lack in your education. That's all you'd spend less time listening to mr Five by five by George tomorrow night. I'm gonna take you and Marge me to hear the student Prince Oh gosh, I'm afraid I can't make it. What do you mean you can't make it? I'm offering to take you to the theater young man live actors on a real stage Something that hasn't been seen in Somerfield in 10 years. You understand I know but but what well touch malarkey is breaking in a new band out at the Avalon ballroom tomorrow night Touch malarkey for sooth But he's got a drum bone player that's supposed to be out of this world And he's got Mary Muffin singing the vocals you to my dear. All right, you can have your toots malarkey and your Mary muffin I know somebody who can appreciate good music when she hears it and I'm going over there right now You coming back I haven't the slightest idea Yep, it's the gremlins I have to go to the play with y'all really would but just about an hour ago judge hooker called up Oh hooker. Yes, and he asked me to go with him Well, you look of course the judge is tone deaf, but if you don't mind that Oh, I'd ever so much rather go with youth rock Martin because I know your real love of music and all But I can't very well turn the judge down now. Can I know I suppose not I just hope he won't spoil it for you That's all. How do you mean spoil it? Well as soon as he gets in the theater. He usually goes to sleep. Oh Yeah, and when he sleeps he snores. Oh dear and when he snores, oh brother How dare I do hope he won't be conspicuous conspicuous. Oh, they'll probably throw him out before he gets too bad They usually do. Well, I hope you enjoy it. Leela. Oh, don't go truck. Yes. I've got to go I've got to get down to the hotel and pay my respects to kitty. She'll be expecting me kitty Vera Laval the actress her friends call her kitty. Oh, you know her. Oh, yes. Yes We met some years ago. Did you know her well? Told me about that. What was there to tell it was the old story. She had her career So eventually she went her way and I went mine She was a lovely creature though and now after all these years we meet again Life is funny, isn't it? Yes? Yes, it is. I Remember the night I first met her was in front of the theater the Tivoli She was waiting for a car and she dropped her glove. I still have it Throckmorton, you're so romantic. Oh, you know what people used to tell me I ought to go on the stage. They did Yes, you know, I'd love to meet your friend. I'll tell you what I'm giving a little Chafendish supper here after the theater tomorrow night. Why don't you come and bring this whatever her name? Oh, I'm afraid I couldn't do that. Kitty's the shy type and you know how actresses hate publicity or anything like that Do they yes and anyway with hooker here. Well, you know, he's a little untoofed He wouldn't know how to behave with an actress. Well try to come anyway. Well, I will if I can Lila Got to go now. Well, goodbye What is it? Have you forgotten something? He Gad she was lovely. Goodbye Lila. Goodbye Come in judge. Come in. I may be a little wild judge. I'm giving mr. Gillis leave the works here little massage What are you doing girl? Do you have your face lifted? No, I'm Get that stuff out of my mouth Floyd. Sorry. I didn't know you're going to open it You think I could keep it closed with that old goat sounding off around here I take the other chair there judge got some new magazines light pick radio mirror got a new Esquire I've seen it. Well, you don't lose any time. It won't come in yesterday. Come on you book lovers Let's get on with this Floyd. I've got things to do. Yeah, make him pretty Floyd He's got a big romance on tonight. Who told you? Oh a little bird. Yeah, a little bird named Lila ransom I guess I sort of cut you out there. Didn't I guilty? I guess you were a little slow on the trigger cut me out Nothing. I've got other plans. Yeah, I heard all about that Floyd you may not believe it, but our friend gillers leave here was quite a Romeo in his younger days Oh now hooker. He was just like that with real a veil. You mean the actress if you could call her that Now listen here Vera Lavelle could have gone into the Metropolitan Opera now, why didn't she she was too pretty the prima donna was jealous Who told you that Vera Lavelle? Well, maybe she did and maybe she didn't know get their sleep Who do you think you're fooling you may be able to fool Lila ransom with those stories, but not me You don't know Vera Lavelle anymore than I do. Oh, no prove it I don't have to prove it, but I'll bet you you can't even get the woman's autograph. All right I'll bet you a new hat. What do you want with a new hat? You never had any trouble talking through the old one That was a good one judge Just for that, I'll fix you I'll see you at Lila ransom tonight, and I'll already turn up tonight with Vera Lavelle's autograph I'll turn up with Vera Lavelle. I'll fix you. Oh, who am I fixing? To go to sleep all dressed up. I see it never mind that p. Give me a half a dozen panatellas I'm in a hurry. They're the children waiting outside Panatellas why you usually take yeah, I know perfecto's, but I need him to fit my case here. Oh Cigar case to you must be going down to the opera house. That's right. I'm stepping out later, too with the star of the show That's real friendly of you mr. Gillish leave. I suppose he is a stranger in town PV. I'm stepping out with miss Vera Lavelle Stepping out. Yes, miss Lavelle and I were rather close friends some years ago. I guess those actresses like to flirt don't they? I Where did you ever hear that did you ever take her to one of those intimate little sufferers? Yeah, I'm not talking PV. Hey, mr. Gillish leave. Did you ever drink out of her slipper? That chapter of my life is a closed book PV. I see but I may open it up for just one little peek Well in that case have you thought of taking her a box of candy mr. Gillish leave a nice selection of chocolate It's often makes a favorable impression on a woman. I'm saying it with flowers PV. You see this corsage Those are nice Such a refined odor. Of course, Mrs. PV is very partial to geraniums You don't give an actress geraniums PV actresses need special handling Actresses are entirely different from ordinary women. Well, no, I wouldn't say that Don't you fool yourself PV with an actress you never know where you are an actress can look you right in the eye and Lie like a trooper she can laugh one minute and cry the next she can run through the whole gamut of human emotions in no time and For no reason. Yeah, so can Mrs. PV Give me those panatellis Oh, mr. Gillish leave. I couldn't interest you in a new perfume for men It's called a Heather. No perfume is for people who have something to conceal and I have it Have I PV? Well, not really mr. Gillish leave nothing to be ashamed of but Mothballs do have a characteristic aroma. It'll wear off. Good night, PV. Good night, mr. Gillish leave Call this an opera house. No remarks young man looks like a Roman ruin. This was a very fine theater in its day It's a dump alongside the majestic quiet you you're gonna see this whether you like it or not. So stop beefing, okay Hey, I'm gonna buy some candy. Where are we gonna buy candy? They were selling it out in the lobby. We just got settled eroy. Why didn't you ask for it then? No, you can't have any candy. We didn't get any programs on tomorrow. Oh, so we didn't Usher Miss Well, I'll get her when she comes back. Oh, there's dr. Petty bone and Mrs. Petty bone. Hello Love looking at you. Hey, no, you're all you may not What is it? When does the show start 830? Did they give us a newsreel of do we just get this student prince thing? Suppose you just wait and see Mrs. Ransom's way there say they're coming in here. They must be sitting in these seats right ahead of us Yeah, hooker fix that. He did it deliberately. Oh, how could he uncle more? I don't know, but it's no coincidence He did it to burn me up. Oh Good evening, Leela Hello, Horace Isn't this nice we're all practically sitting together. Yes quite a coincidence, isn't it? Hello, Marjorie. Oh, you're all right. I didn't know you're bringing the brood guilty. I'm leaving him after the show My are looking so distinguished this evening trochmont. Oh, thank you. You're looking at the well yourself Say guilty Have you got a pocket full of moth balls or you've been sleeping in a cedar closet? Excuse me judge Miss miss it. Would you mind stopping the usher there, please madam? Thank you. Oh, where's that card now? Miss will you kindly take this calling card back upstage and give it to miss Laval with my compliments? Yeah, Vera Laval and the star of the show Not so loud everyone in the theater can hear you. Yes miss. She'll be thrilled when she learns I'm out front tonight. I sent her some flowers, of course earlier their favorite kind I just wrote on the card from an old admirer But she'll know Louder guilty. They can't hear you up in the balcony Yes, Lila, I do hope you'll be coming to my house after the show and bring your friend Yes, don't forget the friend. Well, she's not too tired Lila. We'd love to hey there by the lights Oh, he's miss exciting kids This is what I love about the theater when the lights go down and the curtain is just about to go up There's nothing like it. The orchestra's coming in now. See their heads. Yeah, like a raw pool balls Play with Toots Malarkey. It's you wait me Roy. You're gonna love this. It's got some of the most wonderful music There's one scene in particular where Kathy comes in that's Vera Laval and they sing Deep in my heart People think yeah, forgive me my dear. I always forget myself and I hear that song You see we used to think of that as our song for goodness sake usher Will you ask them to stop that racket back there? Uncle more at the usher. She's signaling to you She can't do anything to me. I'm not disturbing anybody. No, no, she's got a card for you Look, she's passing it in a card. Oh card. It must be from Vera or kitty as we call her. It must be from her Yeah, thank you miss my goodness. It is from her. She wants me to come back to her dressing room Hey, where are you going on backstage? I'll probably see the shows in the wings You and Marjorie stay here and enjoy it understand. I want you to enjoy it. Hey, let me out of there I mean pardon me. Would you madam? Oh my corn Yeah, doesn't blow up again. Well, I've got the cheese and everything Oh, I suppose I might as well started Leela. I owe you an apology. I've seen some bad performances in my time But that one tonight wow Oh, I kind of agree with you judge. I quite enjoyed it and I thought Vera Laval took her part real well Of course, I could have sworn she was wall-eyed, but maybe it was just where I was sitting I'll tell you one thing. She'll never see 50 again. Well, you can hardly blame the poor creature for that But those costumes, I mean really do you suppose she made them herself? Oh, I wonder if that could be her now if it isn't gilder sleeve owes me a hat. I'll go Leela Well come in guilty come in Miss Laval it may I present judge Horace hooker. Oh, how do you do? This is a pleasure miss Laval Judge hooker is our local constable so to speak Always glad to meet a judge socially And our hostess at mrs. Ransom miss Laval I'm just so thrilled you could call miss Laval But darling you were such a darling to invite me I smell something cooking Well, sure Judge hooker and I were just saying miss Laval how much we enjoyed your performance. Oh, did you darling? Thanks so much Oh, I'm afraid I wasn't really in voice tonight. I was nervous for some reason. Oh, yes I can imagine it must be quite exciting you and throckmorton meeting again after all these years And you know and each other so terribly well and all I was that again darling I said it Excuse me Leela Vera, I'm going to hold you to that promise you made what promise was there. You know you were going to sing Oh He's been after me all evening to sing as if I hadn't sung enough already But you said you were oh, but not right now not before the welch rare. Yes right now this very minute. Please Vera Oh, he's cute, isn't he? Oh Sing something romantic sing the song that brought you two together Bravo together Well, what should it be? Well, after all Vera, there's only one song where you're concerned I'd rather sing a new song. Oh a new song. What's that? One that will always remind me of you. Oh, that's wonderful. All right