 Torture porn is the debate this week on Movie Feuds, and who better to debate with me than Jay from Blood Bath and Beyond? No, I'm seriously wondering. There's got to be like a thousand people more qualified. Thanks for that heartwarming introduction, Adam. You knew what this was when you walked into it. It's hostile versus saw on Movie Feuds. Say this. If I had the opportunity to either jerk off a horse or have sex with a swarm of bees, I'm not sure which I'd prefer. They both sound like a pretty shitty deal. That's kind of where I stand with this feud. I'm not a big fan of either of these movies, so if I have to choose, which I do, I'm gonna go saw. Wow. Thanks for that. I guess I'll start then. Now, let's not kid ourselves because neither of these films have a stellar cast, but Hostel does have some standout performances from our main leads, including Jay Hernandez, who's recently picked up to play L Diablo in the upcoming Suicide Squad film, as well as Derek Richardson, who has been playing Nolan on Anger Management, that other Charlie Sheen show. Though, that show does have another tie to this whole feud, which is the hottie that can rock a bear trap like no other, Shawnee Smith. The cast in Saw may not be a bunch of A-listers, but we do have a hodgepodge of randos. That's a word. Like Princess Bride's Carrie Ulls, Miles from Lost, Leigh Winnell, who wrote this film, and Murtaug himself, Danny Glover. And of course, the highlight of the film, Jigsaw, played by Tobin Bell, who, fun fact, is not the father of Kristen Bell. So, mind something new every day. I don't think a single person ever once had that thought cross their mind. And Danny Glover alone cannot save Saw from its god-awful acting. Oh, I wasn't aware we were actually arguing over the merit of the acting in these movies. That's just a total shit show. I was just saying, my cast is more memorable, so I win by that. Hostel's about three American backpackers that stop at a hostel in Amsterdam where they meet some gorgeous ladies. They go party, they drink, they do a bunch of drugs, and they have a lot of sex. And then they're kidnapped and sold to the black market of Slovakia where they're tortured by a bunch of rich dudes. Seems like a better deal than the one I was given, which was to watch this garbage unfold on screen. Saw, to me, is a really poor seven wannabe, but even saying that is an insult to seven. Yet, for all the dumb dialogue, overacting and gratuitous violence, there's still some fun to be had. That's because the writer and director smartly put us in the shoes of our leads, trying to figure out with them how to get out of these puzzles and situations. Hostel's like a half-softcore poor and half-torture film. I just sold myself on that, actually. It sounds good, but it's not. A very slowly paced picture with unlikeable leads and convenient plot twists. Oh, look, I just happen to be driving down the same exact road as every single bad guy in the movie. Let me just hit them all with my car. Give me a break. Sure, it follows all the standard tropes of horror movies. And that's exactly the point. Eli Roth instills his genius when halfway through, he decides to flip the script and he flips it on its head. And he kills off the main lead in a brutal, merciless torture scene. And then we're left feeling uneasy because we now have to root for the stereotypical douchebag. This is the point in the fugue, Jay, where you realize you, of course, can't win. You could maybe BS your way through cast and story, but there's no competition here. It's all popularized graphic violence and horror films again. I'm saying again because at one point in time I'm assuming Psycho was considered a graphic film. Hostel would not exist if not for this blood-spraying, jaw-ripping, leg-sign flick. The effects on screen are gruesome and effective. It's what I imagine a Mortal Kombat movie would be like if it took place in an unwashed bathroom. Movies like Human Centipede, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Hills Have Eyes, and even Hostel have tried to up the ante in the gore department, but nobody does it better than Saw. Not even a torch to the eye is enough to topple the king. You're really putting your foot in your mouth with this one, Adam. Save a shotgun blast and Amanda searching through a guy's body for a key? There's really not all that much gore in Saw. I mean, in the sequels, yes, they have some great kills and I don't discredit them for that. In Hostel, on the other hand, we have gallons and gallons of blood, we've got drills, we've got chainsaws, we have an Achilles tendon being sliced, and yes, the blowtorch. Oh, and the bubblegum gang attacking the criminals and squashing their heads, which is absolutely glorious. You'll probably take this round because Saw has one of the most recognizable movie theme songs of all time. However, the rest of the movie was just a bore. I mean, we actually have five-minute stints of Adam and Laurence talking to each other with nothing in the background. No room tone. I mean, I would have welcomed the hum of a goddamn air conditioner. Most memorable song of all time? I put that with Jaws, Back to the Future, Star Wars, Superman, Spider-Man, Indiana Jones, the list goes on. But it is, it is a nice treat. I'll give you that much. I realize I am, of course, arguing with myself right now, so let me say this. The soundtrack does the job in the best way possible. Composer Charles Closer crafts a damn fine score called Hello, Zepp, with its bone-chilling sounds. It makes you feel all, ugh, inside, especially in that final reveal at the end of the movie that twist that blew pretty much everybody away, except for the people that lie and say they saw it coming, when our villain gets up off the floor and he's like, I've been here the whole fucking time. I've been dying. Whoosh! Shuts the door, that cues the music, and boom! The movie went from a D plus to a C minus, just like that. Now, Hostel has very little to offer when it comes to the music department. I mean, maybe a couple cool techno tracks in the clubs in Amsterdam, but other than that, it's pretty standard. What it does have, however, are some gruesome sound effects that intensify the brutality of every single terrible, torturous act in the film. And they're all amazing. I mean, a single snip of a pair of scissors moved me more than the entirety of the Saw soundtrack. Hostel is an immensely forgettable film that managed to spew out a couple sequels, and its only success is there because Saw was propping it up the whole time like a goddamn marionette doll. Saw spun off far too many films too, and even though I don't care much for the first, I can appreciate it to an extent. It's an intense edge-of-your-seat thriller that will stay with you long after you leave the theater. Back in the day, I would have given this to Saw easily, but having revisited both films recently, Saw is probably much more boring than you remember. It's uneventful, it's terribly edited. I mean, the quick cuts in this is just ridiculous. Poor acting, poor writing. It's just a paper-thin plot that just happens to have a decent twist at the end. Hostel, on the other hand, is still truly terrifying and holds up to this day, especially with sex trafficking being a prominent issue. Everything is well shot, and it's gorgeous. And we even have some very advanced filmmaking techniques when it comes to three different tonal shifts as we follow the characters in the downward spiral that is Hostel. You gave it your best, Jay. That's all anybody could ask for. And I'm not going to argue that, you know, scary movies. Clearly, that's your forte, Will Forte. Tell the audience where they can find more of your awesome show. I'm Jay from Blood Bath & Beyond, and we're a YouTube channel. Me and my buddies get together and we watch horror movies and review them. We do indie to studio, but mainly indie. We also play games of what would you do where we take situations from horror movies, put ourselves and the audience in them, and ask you what would you do? You can also find us on Instagram and Twitter at bloodbath underscore TV. Thanks again for having us, Adam. And if you ever want to do this again with horror movies, let me know. All right, it's your turn. Comment, vote, subscribe to Feud Nation, and head on over to patreon.com. If you want to support the show there, I do this alone. It's a very sad and small world down here in my basement with my green screen and lights. And once in a while, I get a guest feuder to come on, but that's not any way to make a living. I mean, that's not fun. Okay, more than just reviews, this is Movie Feuds. I'm sure there's going to be another sequel to Saw or a remake. It never ends!