 J-D-L-L-O! The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and Phil Harris in his orchestra. The orchestra opens a program with, I've taken a fancy to you from in old Chicago. With all its different holidays, February is certainly a party month and tomorrow is St. Valentine's Day, a swell excuse to give the family something special for dessert. And for that something special, give them Jell-O molded in gay fancy shapes. For Jell-O goes with the party spirit every time. First, because it's so festive looking with clear bright colors that dress up any meal. And second, because it's so luscious tasting with delicious extra-rich fruit flavor that puts everybody in a cheerful mood. But there's still another reason why Jell-O is tops for parties. It's quick-setting, easy to prepare, you can't go wrong. Just be sure to get genuine Jell-O when you buy. For there is only one Jell-O and only Jell-O brings you that extra-rich fruit flavor. Look for the big red letters on the box. They spell Jell-O. I've taken a fancy to you played by the orchestra. Now, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you America's latest fashion plate. That bold brummel of Beverly Hills, Jack Benny. Thank you. Jell-O again, this is Jack Benny talking. And say, Don, thanks for that nice build-up you just gave me. My goodness, let's come over you. Jack, I read in the paper just the other day that the tailors of America selected you as one of the 10 best-dressed men in the country. Oh, they did? Well, I didn't know that. Are you sure, Don? Oh, yes, certainly. It was quite a story. Sure, I read it, too. It was in all the papers. It was, too? Gee, I'd like to see it. Have you got a clipping of it? Yes, and so have you. Well, all right, fellas. I was just trying to be modest, that's all. But it's true, I was selected as one of the 10 best-dressed men in the country. I came in second. Oh, who was first? Clark Gable. You know, Don, politics. The only way I can figure it... Now, wait a minute, Jack, wait a minute. Gable looks marvelous in clothes. In the first place, he's much thinner than you are. Oh, no, he's not, Don. We're exactly the same weight. Only mine is distributed a little differently. But we have about the same physique. Go on, if Gable was standing in a barrel, he'd have a better figure than you have. Well, first place, he never stands in a barrel, I don't know. I know what's the matter with you, Phil. You're just jealous because you weren't on the list. I'm not jealous. I just can't understand it, that's all. Oh, I dress as well as you do. Probably Weller. Weller? Now, you can do gooder than that. You dress as well as I do. Look at that coat you've got on right now. What's the matter with it? What's the matter with it? Looks like a combination salad with patched pockets. Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Jack, congratulations. Thanks, thanks, Mary. I wish you'd have been here a minute ago, though. Phil can't understand why the tailors of America picked me as one of the best dressed men. Well, I can. Certainly. Half of your relatives are pants presses. That's all. You're just making that up. Say, Mary, take a peek at Phil and get a load of that coat he's wearing. Isn't that corny? Oh, it's a corny one, isn't it? Oh, I don't know. It's not half as loud as the one I saw you wearing yesterday. Well, that's different, Mary. That happens to be my polo coat. Polo coat? What do you do? Ride on a zebra? It'll make you any happier, yes. But you know what kills me from the attitude of this gang? You think I never knew anything about style. Let me tell you something, fellas. I'm coming out with a new suit in about three weeks that'll knock your eye out. And I don't want you to copy it, either, Phil. What kind of a suit is it? Well, it's a double-breasted English drape model with a new zipper vest. Oh, it's the last word in suits. Hey, that sounds pretty good, Jack. What color is it? Well, it's a sort of a fudge brown. Oh, it's beautiful. A fudge brown, yes. Is it plain or with nuts? Plain. I'm going to look swell in it, too. It fits so snug. It has a 32-inch waistline. What are you going to do with your stomach? Well, naturally, Phil, when I tighten my belt, my stomach will go up to where my chest is. Then what are you going to do with your chest? Well, I'm not going to have my girl's name tattooed on it like you have. You would if you didn't have hooray for Walkiegan there. Well, what if I have? Now, look, fellas, let's drop all this talk about clothes. Just because I get a little recognition once in a while, everybody here has to turn green with envy. Now, let's change the subject. Oh, hello, Kenny. Hello, Jack, congratulations. Thanks, thanks, Kenny, but I've heard enough about my clothes, so forget it. I'm talking about your birthday. My birthday? Oh, yes, tomorrow is my birthday. Preparations of 14th, I forgot all about it. Well, congratulations. Well, a happy birthday. Well, sure, thanks. Well, yes, sir, I was a little Valentine. Funny how it slipped my mind. Well, it didn't slip mine. I brought a cake for you, Jack. Wait till I get it. A cake? Well, that was thoughtful, Kenny. Here you are, Jack. Well, thanks. Say, that is a beautiful cake. It has such nice decorations. Yeah, I hope I guessed right. I put 50 candles on it. 50 candles? Oh, I got more in my pocket. Oh, you have? Well, keep them in your pocket. All right, but I better blow them out. 50 candles. I'm not 50 years old. I'm not 45. I'm not even 40. Hurry up, Jack. You'll be late to school. Now, wait a minute, Mary. You haven't worn rompers for some time either, you know. On the level, Jack, is tomorrow really your birthday? Yes, Don, it is. Well, well, ladies and gentlemen, if you're planning to celebrate Jack's birthday tomorrow by having a little party, top it off with tempting delicious jello. It is economical and easy to make and has that extra-rich fruit flavor. Well, thanks, Don. That was a lovely gesture. And now, folks, Phil Harris will... Wait a minute. Come in. Telegram for Jack Benny. Right here, boy. Thanks. Oh, wait a minute. Here's a tip for you. Say, this must be your birthday. Who's the wire from, Mary? Just a second, Jack. Oh, Jack, it's from your father. My father? What did he say? He says that, dear son, congratulations on your 25th birthday. I couldn't afford a telegram then. Good old dad. He never forgets a face. Play, Phil. You're in education played by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen... Wait a minute, Jack. That number was played by Phil Harris in the orchestra. Why don't you mention the conductor? Well, they know it wasn't Toscanini. Anyway, Phil, you have a distinctive style of playing. You couldn't be confused with any other band. I couldn't, eh? No. You have the only orchestra in the world where the drums carry the melody. And now, folks... Jack, now that Kenny gave you a cake, are you going to throw a little party tonight? Well, I would, Don, but I have to rehearse tonight with my leading lady for my new Paramount picture. I'm going over to Francesca Gall's house. Oh, are we? No, no, Phil. You're not going this time. And say, Mary, I wish you'd run through my lines with me, will you? Before I go over there, I'd like to brush up on my part. Okay, Jack. Now, here's the script. You read Francesca's part, and I'll read mine. Here you are. Your name is Julia, and I'm Andre. Andre? Yes, yes. All right, Mary, let's go. You don't mind if we go through this, do you, fellas? No, go right ahead, Andre. All right, Mary. Now, the door opens. See, and I walk in. You're sitting there, and I walk in. Ah, good evening, Julia. I'm sorry I kept you waiting. Oh, Andre, my love. I'm so glad to see you. See you. Now, stop kidding, Mary, and help me with this. Well, darling, I've come for the last time to ask you to marry me. You're toyed with my affections long enough. There's a limit to my patience, Julia. You know, our bargain, when I saved your father from ruin, well, the time has come. And whether you love me or not, I'm not going to let you go. I'm not going to let you go. I'm not going to let you go. The time has come. And whether you love me or not, you're stuck with me. Well, what are you laughing at? Paramount. They're stuck, too. Oh, Mary, I can't rehearse with you. You're not giving me anything. You're not putting any feeling into it. He's right, Miss Livingston. When Andre comes through the door, you should be a little more emotional. Oh, go away. Uh, come on, Mary, let's try it again. Look, Jack, look. What? It's Robert Taylor. Well, why, Bob, I didn't know you were standing there watching us. Where'd you drop in from? Well, I was sitting out front watching your show, and you seemed to be having a little trouble with that scene, so I thought I'd come up and offer a suggestion or two. Well, it's awfully nice of you, Bob. I'm always glad to see a kibbit, sir. But really, I don't need help. Well, it might be too late at that. You're sharp, there. Now, look, Jack, the reason Miss Livingston did not respond properly was because you were not convincing as a lover. Well... How do you like that for Crust? What do you think I was doing up here, knitting a doily? Now, look, Jack, all I'm trying to tell you is that your scene lacks sincerity. In other words, what you said was not believable. Oh, it was not believable. Well, next time I'll take an oath before I read my life. You better take a lifesaver, too. You've been eating onions. I have not. Well, Jack, I'm sorry I intruded, so I'll just run along. No, no, Bob, no. I'm glad you came up. Say, I'm always open for suggestions, even if I don't need them. You know, Bob, I've been an actor for a good many years. I appreciate that. And furthermore, if you read the papers, and I think you do, you may have come across an article this week stating that I am one of the ten best-dressed men in the country. Yes, I saw that, Jack. Say, do you mind if I tell you something? No, no. Go right ahead. Well, Jack, take that suit you're wearing right now. Listen, I gave a better one than that to my gardener, and he refused it. Well, if my gardener ever did a thing like that, I'd hit him right over the head with a petunia. Well, Bob, so much for the ribbing, anyway. To tell you the truth, I'm really glad you came up. Now that you're here, I want you to meet the members of my cast. It's about time. Bob, this is Mary Livingston. Hello, Mary. I'm delighted to meet you. Thanks, Mr. Taylor. I mean, Robert. I mean, Bob. Mary, you don't have to be so nervous. Well, she will. You know, Mary, I must say you've handed me a lot of laughs, and I think you're just as charming in person as you are on the radio. Well, thanks, and, well, I think you're just as charming as I am. Oh, don't, don't mind her, Bob. She's so excited, you know. And now I want you to meet... Wait a minute, Jack. Oh, Mr. Taylor. Yes, what is it, Mary? Well, if a certain person asks me to go out tonight, I won't think you're a bit fresh. Oh, all right. And Bob, I'd like to have you meet our young tenor, Kenny Baker. How are you, Kenny? I'm glad to know you. Gee, if I'd have known you were coming, I'd have baked another cake. Why, Kenny? You know, Mr. Taylor, I'm in pictures, too. Yes, I know you are, Kenny. I've seen you in a lot of them, and I think you're doing a swell job. Yes, sir, you better watch out for me. I'm dynamite. Oh, don't show off there. And Bob, this is our announcer, Don Wilson. Hello, Don. Glad to see you. Well, how are you, Bob? You know, I was just thinking of you this morning when I was drinking a cup of Maxwell House coffee. You were? Well, now that's a coincidence, because I was thinking of you last night over a dish of jello. Well, that's the best we could do with that, folks. And Bob, this is our orchestra leader. Oh, I know Phil. Hiya, Philzy. Boy, it's good to see you again. Hiya, Bobby. Did we have fun the other night or not? Yes, sir. And by the way, Phil, thanks for getting me that date. It was mighty nice of you. What? Phil got you a date? Yeah, man. Well, of all things. Say, I hope it wasn't the girl he got for me, Dolores Del Schmutz. No, this was her sister. They call her Sugar. Oh, Sugar Del Schmutz. Well, Bob, now that you've met my cast and the Del Schmutzes, I want to tell you that I saw the preview of your new picture the other night, a yank at Oxford, and I thought it was one of the best things you've ever done. Thank you, Jack. I'm glad you liked it. By the way, Bob, what was the first big picture you ever made? You know, the one that you think started you off with a bang. Well, Jack, about three years ago, I made a picture called Broadway Melody of 1936 with Eleanor Powell, Una Merkel, Sid Silver, Buddy Epson, and June 9th. Oh, yes, I saw that. It was very good, too. Say, wait a minute. I was in that picture. Well, certainly. You were, Jack? Yes, I was. I played a... Mary, you saw Broadway Melody. What was I in it? Miss Cass. No, I mean the character. Oh, I remember, Bob. I was the Broadway columnist. You punched down the jaw three times. Oh, yes, I remember. Hey, that was fun, wasn't it? Yes. I'll say it was fun. Fred Allen saw the picture eight times. Well, that's what you call fun, huh? Oh, what if I did punch you on the jaw? I didn't hit you so hard. Not much. Listen, Bob, that was three years ago. And I've got a swivel tooth that's still whirling around. But at that, Bob, I hope we do make another picture together. Maybe I can kick you around next time, huh? Well, you never can tell. Well, Jack, I think I'll run along now. Now, wait a minute, Bob. Wait a minute. You offered to help me out in my little dramatic scene here, and I'm going to hold you to it. You don't mind, do you, Bob? No, not at all. I didn't ask you, Mary. Not at all. Do you mind, Bob? No, Jack, I'll be glad to. Okay, we'll do it right after Kenny sings a song. Go ahead, Kenny. Wait a minute. Come in. Mr. Benny? Yes? Is Robert Taylor really on your program tonight? Yes, he is, and you won't need me. Goodbye. Oh, that guy, he drives me crazy. Say, what does he want, anyway? A toupee, but I'm not going to buy him one. At noon, the night is falling. Whipper wheels are sweetly clawed to the old. Once again, your arm will kiss at every time. That was, uh, hey, Bob, you take the reins, will you? You're a master of ceremonies, too, now. You know, go ahead. All right. That was New Moon from Radio City Rebels sung by Kenny Baker. And Kenny, I want to tell you, it was swell. It was perfectly thrilling. Thanks, Mr. Taylor. You know, I wish Jack would say things like that once in a while. All right, Kenny, what are you talking about? I've said those very words to you every Sunday this year. Well, I'm getting sick of it. Oh, you don't know what you want. Say, Bob, how about helping me out with that little love scene now? Okay, Jack, you and Mary run over those lines again, and I'll kind of give it the once over. Fine, come on, Mary. Why don't you let me do it with Mr. Taylor and you watch? Mary Barbara's listening in. You know, Jesus. Look, anyway, I'm the one who needs rehearsing. That's why I don't want to do it with you. Well, it wouldn't hurt you to help me out. Now, come on, here's a script. We'll take it from the same entrance. Now, remember, Jack, put a little fire into it. Okay, Bob, I gotcha. All right, Mary, I'm coming through the door again. Ah, good evening, Julia. I'm sorry I kept you waiting. Oh, Andre, my love. Andre, where's Amos? Well, I've come for the last time, Julia, to ask you to marry me. You toyed with my affections long enough. Remember our bargain, Julia, when I saved your father from ruin? Well, the time has come. And whether you love me or not, you're stuck with me. Now what do you say? I'll go back to Walkiegan. Walk, there you are, Bob. What's the use of me trying to do anything? Well, will you let me try it with Mary, Jack? Maybe I can get better results. I know I will. Oh, sure, sure. Now I will. Now look, Mary, when you and I play this scene, just sit back and relax. Yes, Bob. Imagine that we're in a world of our own, drifting on a cloud. Yes, Bob. Yes, Bob, yes, Bob. Yes, Bob. Come on, you two, show me what you can do. Quiet, I'm drifting. Oh, you're drifting, eh? I am too. Kenny! All right, Mary, I'm coming through the door now. Ah, good evening, Julia. I'm sorry I kept you waiting. Oh, Andre, my love, kiss me. I don't remember that line being in there. I've come for the last time, Julia, to ask you to marry me. Kiss me, Andre. You've toyed with my affections long enough. Kiss me. Don't keep saying that. Kiss me, Andre. It's not in there. Well, the time has come and whether you love me or not, you're stuck with me. Then kiss me, Andre. Kiss me. My darling. I'm the one that's going to play it. It's a fine scene. All right, all right, Mary, you were finally kissed by Robert Taylor. Now what have you got to say? He can go back to Waukegan, too. By Mary? Mary, didn't you enjoy it? No, but let's do it again. Oh, I thought so. Well, Bob, no kidding. I think I did learn something from watching you play that scene with Mary. You gave me a couple of good pointers there. Well, I hope I didn't embarrass you or anything, Jack. Oh, no. Oh, and I'm very grateful. After all, you're an actor and I'm a comedian. I, uh, an alleged comedian, anyway. My only serious moment... My only serious moments are spent with my violin. I think I've got you stopped there. Oh, I don't know about that, Jack. You know, I'm somewhat of a musician myself. I play a 50-mean cello. A cello? Oh, I didn't know that. Isn't that a coincidence? You play the cello and I play the violin. Uh, guess what they're going to do now, folks? Mary. Well, Bob, we can borrow a cello and a violin from the boys in the orchestra. Now, how about you and I swinging out on a nice hot tune? Fine. You know, mighty like a rose? Oh, that's a sizzler. Say, Phil, uh, let us have a violin and a cello, will you? Not without a deposit. Now, we're not going to leave the room. Okay, here you are, boys. All right. Oh, Don, Don, introduce this number, will you? Yes, sir. Ladies and gentlemen, we now bring you Jack and Bob, those rhythm rascals, who will give you their interpretation of mighty like a rose. Are you going to start? I'll start. Let's play it, Jack. Oh, by the way, Bob, you were in Europe this summer, weren't you? Yes, I was, Jack. Well, tell me, how did you find London? I asked a policeman. Oh, Bob. Yes, Jack? What goes around a button? A goat. You guessed it, the first 40 boys, 40. Robert Taylor and Jack Benny. Thanks, Don, and now, folks, there's another boy. Play, Phil, play, play. If you want some new and delicious dessert ideas, just take a look at a package of jello chocolate pudding. You can find some grand suggestions. For instance, you can add toasted nut meats to your chocolate pudding or half a cup of raisins or a crispy shredded coconut. And we've had lots of letters from women who tell us that jello chocolate pudding makes the most delicious filling for chocolate cream pie they ever tasted. But no matter how you serve it in a recipe variation or just as is, jello chocolate pudding is a dessert the whole family will love. It's creamy, rich, and smooth, like the old-fashioned homemade kind. For it's made with the same fine, wholesome ingredients. That's why it tastes homemade, so chocolatey and delicious. Jello chocolate pudding is quick and easy to prepare. You'll find the simple directions on every package. It sells for the same low price as jello, so ask your grocer tomorrow for jello chocolate pudding. Well, we're a little late, Bob, but I'll see you next Thursday night on the Your Maxwell House program. Thanks for coming over. Good night, folks. This is the program courtesy of Marvin and Roy. This is a nice little broadcasting company.