 Kraft presents the Great Gilder Sleeve. The Kraft Cheese Company, makers of parquet margarine and a complete line of famous quality food products, present Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. Kraft brings you the Great Gilder Sleeve every week at this time, written by John Whedon and Sam Moore with music by Claude Sweeten. We'll hear from the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. One of the biggest problems any mother has is to serve foods that make a hit with the children. And that's why so many mothers like to serve delicious parquet margarine, a spread that really helps satisfy hungry young appetites. Parquet is a big favorite with children everywhere because it's the spread that tastes so good. And parquet adds good nourishment, too. Parquet is a top-notch energy food, and it's fortified by Kraft with 9,000 units of important vitamin A in every single pound. So treat your youngsters and the whole family to this nourishing spread that makes so many foods taste so much better. By the delicious spread, millions prefer to any other brand. P-A-R-K-A-Y, parquet margarine made by Kraft. Now let's see how things are going with the Great Gilder Sleeve. Well, it's a matter of public record. In the want-had section of the Summerfield Indicator on May 26th appeared this item. Wanted secretary must be experienced and need-appearing, able to take dictation through typing, filing, bookkeeping, bring references, apply water department between 9 and 10 a.m. From the Summerfield Indicator of May 30th. Wanted secretary at water department, no experience necessary. From the Summerfield Indicator of May 31st. Girl wanted at water department $25 a week in car fare. From the Summerfield Indicator of June 1st. Girls, make big money this easy way. Personal assistant to important executive in essential industry. Big future, generous salary, Saturday's off, two hours for lunch, vacation with pay. Apply now and get in on the water department picnic June 16th. Prizes for all, don't miss it. Throckmorton P. Gilder Sleeve, Summerfield 2371, phone day or night. How long before dinner? I'm gonna have to go back to the office and work tonight. Won't be for a few minutes, I'm just finishing setting the table here. Yeah, I'm gonna have to work late tonight. Until all hours I'm afraid. Where are the dickens? You'll find a meaning paper right beside your chair then. Oh. I'll probably work till one or two o'clock in the morning. Maybe three. You'll be wanting coffee with your dinner then. Buckets of it. How about you go and get Miss Marjorie to help you down at the office, Mr. Gilder Sleeve? Well, that didn't work out. Where is Marjorie? She's upstairs doing her homework. Homework? Oh, where's Lee Roy? He's doing his homework too. Both of them doing their homework? Yeah, so that's right. Must have gotten their report cards today. I guess you should come and sit down now, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Things are just about ready. Good, Bertie. Thank you. Marjorie, Lee Roy! What do you want? Dinner! It's that bullied kid. I'm afraid not, Craig. It's Lee Roy's dinner time. Must be your dinner time too. I've had my dinner. Oh. Well, Lee Roy hasn't had his yet, so... I want Lee Roy to play with me. Well, Lee Roy would be very glad to play with you, I'm sure. But it just so happens that we're just sitting down to dinner. So, perhaps some other time. I wanted to play with me. Look here, you're letting in the flies. Either come in or stay out. I'll come in. All right, but I warn you, we're sitting down to dinner. Lee Roy, come here a minute, my boy. See if you can find a way to get him to go home, will you? Go home! Your mother's looking for you, I'm afraid. No, she's not. My mother's not home. Oh. Well, your father is then. Your father's looking for you? No, he's not. He's looking for my mother. What was that? Horrible. Have to go back tonight. Oh. Hello, Craigie. They've come for Craig, maybe. For my kid brother, is he here? I'll say. Hello, Marshall. Oh, hello, Marjorie. Gosh. Yeah, good evening, my boy. Oh, good evening, sir. Gee, Marge, I haven't seen you in two or three days, it seems like. Yes, yes. I know, I've been busy. I saw you after Jim yesterday, but you didn't see me. Yes, yes. Oh! Yeah, right away, Birdie. So you've come for your little brother, eh, Marshall? Well, Craig? Oh, yes. Get your things, punk, we're going home. Say, Marge, what are you going to be doing after? Oh, I don't know, nothing particular. What are you going to be doing? Nothing particular. Yes, yes. We could do our history together, Marge. Well, I've done my history, but I guess I could go over it again. Marshall, come on, I want to go home. You're sure, Don. I'll tell you what we could do. Miss Kidd! Spare ribs? You'll leave it right where it is, Birdie. I'm going to eat it if I have to eat alone. You'll pardon me, Marshall, if I partake of my supper, which has now been cooling on the table for some 15 or 20 minutes. What's that? Oh, yeah, go right ahead. Thank you very much. Those are the finest spare ribs I ever set tooth to. Well, I'm glad you enjoyed them. They're kind of hard to get these days. You know, Birdie, what you ought to do, you ought to open up a little place, a little restaurant, but you could serve nothing but spare ribs. Spare ribs and coffee. You'd make a fortune. Oh, go on. I mean it. Wouldn't she, LeRoy? Uh-huh. Here, you better let me bring your finger bowl, Mr. Gillsley. You better bring LeRoy a tub. I hate spare ribs. It's so hard to get any meat. Well, if you weren't afraid to pick them up in your fingers. But they're so greasy. It's the only way to eat them, my dear. Oh, Chris, look at me. I'm not afraid. You don't have to rub it in your hair. Now, children, there's something I want to speak to you about both of you. Garbell. And that's it. No more of your friends calling at mealtime. Do you understand? No more. LeRoy sits still. But there's somebody at the door. Birdie is quite capable of answering it. Birdie? I'm telling you. If that's a friend of LeRoy's, Birdie, just tell him to go away. Yes, sir. I'll not have our meals made as shambles by these constant interruptions. Your friends haven't manners enough not to call at dinnertime, yes, Birdie? Yes, sir. Excuse me, my dear. Well, just this once. I showed into the parlor, Mr. Gilsey. Oh, thank you, Birdie. Well, Leela. I was just finishing dinner after hurry down to the office. This evening? Yeah, 2,000 bills to get out. No secretary. Oh, dear. I was hoping we could have a nice long talk. Well, I'll tell you about it quickly then. I have the most wonderful idea. Oh, what's that? I'm thinking of going into the antique business. Antiques? Yes. You see, I've got that big old high boy over there that belonged to my grandmother Beecham. It's no use to me in the world, and it's just in the way. And I thought, well, now, why don't I just sell it? But Leela, you'd need more than one high boy, one sale, and you'd be out of business. Well, it wouldn't just be antiques. I could do interior decorating, too. People have always told me I had a natural color sense and a knack for making things home like if I do say so myself. Oh, you have, definitely. But starting a business. Oh, this wouldn't be like a business, exactly. But I do think women should do something these days, don't you? After all, with a wand. So I thought if I could open this antique shop and at the same time be helping the war effort. Help the war effort? I don't get the connection. Well, gracious, if you're going to do nothing but discourage me. Leela, I'm not trying to discourage you. If you want to do something, that's great. But say, why don't you come to work for me? Work for you. What kind of work, Throckmorton? At the water department. You'd be my personal secretary, secretary to the water commissioner. How would you like that? Will you do it, Leela? Well, I don't know, Throckmorton. I kind of had my heart shed on an antique shop. After all, there's my grandmother Beecham's high boy there. Just for a week. Try it for a week and if you don't like it, we'll call it quits. What? All you have to do is address the bills. Address bills? And be my private secretary. Well, all right, Throckmorton. I'll do it. Maybe this is a good way to start. Sure. But you'll have to pay me, understand? I'm terribly expensive. Yeah. Sure, we can come to terms, Leela. See you at the office then tomorrow morning at nine o'clock. Nine o'clock? Nine-fifteen then. Nine-thirty? Well, if I can make it. Great, nine-thirty. There's just one trouble about all this, Throckmorton. What's that? Doesn't solve a thing about my grandmother Beecham's high boy. Oh, but I'm keeping you from your dinner. We'll worry about that later. I'll be running along now. See you at ten. Huh? Oh, oh yeah, see you at ten, yeah. Gee, I gotta get going. I'll have my dessert now, Bertie. Coming right up, excuse me. I'll go quarter to eight this very minute. Pass the cream, will you mind? Leroy, pass it. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Well? What am I hurrying for? I just hired a secretary. The Great Gilder Sleeve will be with us again in just a few seconds. Now that warm weather is here, you ladies will be serving more sandwiches and snacks. And a way to make them taste extra good and to make them extra nourishing too is to spread bread or cracker treats with delicious parquet margarine. Parquet gives a real lift to summertime meals because parquet's flavor is so fresh, so delicate, so satisfying. Parquet also helps provide food energy, something that's especially important in your family's summer diet when so many other foods you eat are low in energy value. Parquet margarine is a top-notch energy food, one of the very best, and it's fortified by craft so that every pound contains 9,000 units of vitamin A. So for real flavor enjoyment, for extra energy, for vitamin A, serve delicious nourishing parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y parquet margarine made by craft. Remember, millions prefer parquet to any other brand. Now let's get back to the Great Gilder Sleeve who, having engaged a secretary, feels like a real executive for the first time in a week. At least he did feel like an executive. Now, however, it's 11 o'clock in the morning and Lila has not yet arrived at the office. Water Department, good morning. You want your water disconnected? You bet. What's your name, please? Delahanti. D-E-L. Pardon me, there's a call on the other line. Water Department, good morning. Once your water turned on, certainly. What if you'd mind holding a line for just a minute? Thank you. Now, hello, Mrs. Delahanti. Oh, Mr. Delahanti. Pardon me. Sorry to keep you waiting, but I... Lila, where have you been? I brought you some flowers. Yes, just a minute, Mr. Delahanti. Lila, take this call while I handle the other one. But I don't know what it's about. Just take it, will you, please? Now, you want your water turned on, you say? Hello? Was that name McCutcheon? Well, what is it you want, please? McCutcheon, yeah, and the address, please. Well, you didn't tell me what you wanted. Yeah, 279 Lakeside, yes, sir. Well, I'm sure there's someone here who can help you, madam. He's a man, Lila. You bet, Mr. McCutcheon. We'll have somebody over there this afternoon, yes, sir. Just a minute. I think Mr. Gildersleeve may be able to help you if you... Lila? Well, you may be a customer, but you're no gentleman. Lila, give me the phone. Give me the phone. Just started this morning. You know how that is. Why? Yes, sir. This is 16 Valley Road. Yeah, I'll take care of it this afternoon. Sure, Mr. Delihani, you bet. I'm going to like it here, Throckmorton. Why not? Well, if you're going to be rude to me... Me? Now, how have I been rude? You haven't even said good morning. You never thanked me for the flowers. I haven't had a chance, Lila. I've been on the phone ever since you came in. I think the flowers are lovely. There's 2,000 bills over there that should have gone out last week. Throckmorton, you haven't said a word about my dress. I bought it specially for the office. Cute. Do you really like it? I should say I do. Now, about the bills. I thought I should get something not too dressy so that people who came in would know I was tending strictly to business. But at the same time... I wanted something feminine so you could feel proud of me when you take me to lunch. Lunch? Well, it's a little early, but if you're hungry, let's go. What can I do for you this fine day? Just a sandwich and a glass of milk, please. Yes, sir. Seeing as Friday, how about a nice tuna sandwich? What else have you got? That's all. All right, tuna. And a glass of milk. You haven't been ill, have you, Mr. Joseph? Ill? No. Here's your sandwich and your milk. I guess it's just that you haven't been in for several days. Well, I've been lunching at the Summerfield Grill. Noisy, please. Yes, it is a little noisy. That businessman's blue plate they put up is a fairly nutritious meal. It runs into money, though. It's 40 cents a day. I've been going Alucard, PB. You don't change. Yeah, Alucard for two. Lady, I'll take it. Well, my secretary. Yes, she's a lady. But this is purely a business arrangement, PB. Oh, naturally. Well, it is. Well, I've engaged Mrs. Ransom as my secretary for the time being. Oh. I didn't realize Mrs. Ransom had secretarial training. She hasn't. No shorthand? No. She doesn't operate a typewriter, though. No, she doesn't operate a typewriter. Understand both keeping? No! But nevertheless, and notwithstanding, it's purely a business arrangement. Aren't you going to finish your sandwich, Mr. Kelly? No, I'm going to the Somerfield Grill for the businessman's blue plate. The only place in town where a man can eat in peace and quiet. Don't say it! Ye gods, PB! Fat man shouldn't get excited like that. Oh, well, it's his blood pressure. My name was your engineer at the reservoir, but I just know you wouldn't have a man like that working for you. Did he say his name was Uncle Charlie? No, he didn't say. He was just a nice-to-old man with nice-to-old gray whiskers, and he used a type of language to which I'm hardly accustomed. Yeah, that's Uncle Charlie, all right. He frightened me, Throckmorton. I gave him a quad and told him to go on about his business. Uncle Charlie wouldn't like that, Leela. Well, I guess he'll be back. Anything else? Some tool salesman called. I told him you weren't interested. Tool salesman? That sounds like the name. Oh, my goodness, Leela. I've been after that man for a month. We need a new snifter valve out at the reservoir. What kind of valve? Snift never mind, Leela. Oh, well, back to the old grind. Oh, you work awfully hard, Throckmorton. I had no idea you worked so hard. Well, that's a man's life, Leela. Shoulder to the wheel, nose to the grindstone. I suppose so. You know something. I was a little nervous when I first came down here to work for you. Nervous? What about? Well, you see, I happen to know what goes on between the average businessman and his secretary. Where do people get these ideas? That's a lot of nonsense, Leela. That kind of thing only goes on in the movies. Where there's smoke, there's fire, Throckmorton. Well, there may be an occasional case. But if a man ever gets mixed up with a secretary, he'll never get any work done. Absolutely. Anyhow, I decided I'd just let you know right off at the start that as far as I'm concerned, our relations will be strictly business. Okay. Well, I guess I better call the tri-state tool, people. Oh, you really should relax for a few minutes after lunch, Throckmorton. You drive yourself too hard, you poor boy. Yeah, but I gotta get after that sniffer valve, Leela. Oh, I'll call the man for you. I like doing things for you. Well, I wish you'd finish up those bills. After all, that's the main reason I got you in here. Oh, but look at all the other ways I'm being useful. I sharpened all your pencils this morning, did you notice? Where are my pencils, Leela? I couldn't find them. Oh, I'll put them right here in your desk drawer. Oh, that's funny. I don't see them. I must have left them out there by the pencil shop now. Thanks anyway. I think I'm going to like being your secretary, Throckmorton. Well, that's good. I've always been afraid to work before because I was just sure some man would try to take advantage of a business relationship. Well, there's nothing to be afraid of. Probably isn't one businessman and some will feel to do a thing like that. Well, I happen to know that's not true. You know that office building across the street from Dr. Peck, the dentist? What about it? Well, the last time I went to Dr. Peck, there was some man kissing his secretary in the office across the way. I wonder who has that office. I don't know, but I got so interested I forgot to ask for an overcane. You know, you've given me an idea, Leela. Really? I think I'll take advantage of our business relationship. Throckmorton, don't you dare. Oh, just one little kiss. What harm can be done? Don't you come near me, you hear? Come on, now, Leela. Oh, come here, you little bitch. What's the idea of walking in here without knocking? Knocking? I heard the dad and butchers rummage going on in here and I thought maybe somebody was robbing the place. Oh, how humiliating. Don't worry, Leela. Charlie won't say anything about this. Throckmorton, you're disgusting. What's that, sister? I'm not your sister. Excuse me, Mr. Gilder-Sleeve. I shall continue with my regular duties. Confound it, Charlie. You ought to have more brains than to come fussing in here like that. I thought you'd reach the age of sense, Commissioner. I have not. Who's addicted to that woman, anyway? She happens to be my secretary, Charlie. You're a secretary? Well, I thought the last one was bad, but this one takes the cake. Did she tell you that I was in to see you a while ago? She said something about it, yes. She treated me as if I were some kind of a dad-busted bum. And that ain't all. Al King would just call me from the Tri-State Tour in Val. Set you through him out on his piazza, too. Well, that's not true. She just... Well, she's just trying to postpone Val. Pospone him? Commissioner, you can call her whatever your dad's brain please. But a woman like that's got no place in the water department. Now, Charlie, it's very hard to get help these days. You're not fooling me a bit, Mr. Gilder-Sleeve. If I hadn't happened to walk in, catch your head handed, that'd be different. Well, Charlie... Just get rid of this over-aged blonde and hire a woman that can tend to business. You're talking a little loud, Charlie. You'd better get another girl. But I don't know where to find anybody else. Then I'll ask you one more question. Do you know where to find another engineer? Well, I could probably... Charlie, you wouldn't be... The heck I wouldn't! You think it over, Commissioner? You turn... Yeah, the question is how? Huh? Don't forget to lock the office. Oh, wait a minute. Uh, Leela. What is it? I'm sorry I forgot myself this afternoon. I'd prefer not to discuss it if you don't mind. Goodbye. You're not thinking of quitting, are you? No. I've made a bargain and I'll stick to it. Oh. Providing you can remember to be a gentleman. No, I guess not. Uh, you know, you're developing into a darn good businesswoman, Leela. Hmm, you think so? Oh, one of the best. I never would have thought that. Well, you know. Oh, yeah, just like all the rest. You think just because a woman is attractive, she can't possibly have any brains or executive ability. Well, I was wrong. In fact, I was so wrong, I think maybe I'm being a little selfish in keeping you just as the secretary. It seems awfully sudden for promotions, Rock Martin. But if you have confidence... You know, it isn't exactly that, Leela, but I've been thinking about that antique business you mentioned the other day. I think you could make a go of that, Leela. Oh, I'm sure I could. Oh, why don't you try it? Perhaps I will someday. Oh, not someday. Now, strike now while the iron is hot. Open up a business. Make yourself some real money. Get a few more pieces of furniture into your house, Leela, and stuff you can sell, of course. Then have a grand opening. Send out engraved invitations. Hire a caterer and some music. That's it. But you've got to get organized now, Leela. Time is of the essence. Of course, there's one problem. What? That grand opening and all might cost quite a bit of money. Oh, $75 or $80 to take care of the whole thing. Would he? Sure. Oh, Rock Martin, you're so smart. You just know everything. Well, pretty near anyway. I'll bet you can even think of a way for me to raise that $75, can't you? Yeah, I'll bet I can. Look at these things. Balancing my checkbook, $18, $25, $31. I was thinking about what you said the other day. Oh? I talked to my friend about it, and he knows where I can get it, please. Please? Yes, sir. He thinks I could rent it for $25 a month. $25? What are you talking about, Birdie? About what you said the other day. Don't you remember? You said I should open up a place and sell sparrows. Birdie, you want to keep working here, don't you? Oh, yes, sir. Then don't ever pay any attention to anything I say. Good night, Birdie. Good night, everybody. This week on this program was directed by Claude Sweet. This is Byrne Smith speaking for the Craft Cheese Company, makers of latte margarine and a complete line of famous quality food products. Craft invites you to listen in again next week for the further adventures of the Great Builders League. And now here's another craft quality food product that's sure to add flavor zip to your mealtime lunchtime menus. It's craft salad mustard, a tangy golden salad mustard, prepared to craft's own special recipe. It's a creamy smooth blend of choice mustard seed, fragrant spices, and mellowed aromatic vinegar. And you can use this delicious salad mustard in foods and on them with taste-tingling results. Craft salad mustard adds a delightful flavor tang to salad dressings. Perks up those cream sauces you pour over hot-cooked vegetables and fish gives an appetizing lift to egg and cheese dishes. Craft salad mustard is a real flavor treat on sausages and cold cuts, too. And say, there's also another zestful variety, craft mustard with nippy horseradish added. Your dealer has both kinds. They're both delicious. Ask for craft horseradish mustard and the tangy golden craft salad mustard. This is the National Broadcasting Company.