 I'm Tony Bruno. I'm here with a legend of the Manusphere. He's an author of four books He's a professional dating coach in the United States and Internationally he's been long known in the Manusphere as the godfather of direct verbal game I'm talking about Alan Roger Curry the author of mode one Let women know what you're really thinking and he's with me today. How are you doing today, sir? I'm doing real well Tony. Thank you for having me Good good. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're here now The first thing I wanted to talk to you about is I attended the 21 convention in 2018 as an attendee and I thought your speech was brilliant now My brother had put up a video of you and he had said it's the absolute best Dating advice book for men he had read so and that book is mode one so talk to me about mode one behavior and Why did you publish your first book? I? Published my first ebook edition of mode one let the women know what you're really thinking in May of 1999 and that the back quick backstory is it was a long time coming because I have an older brother named Steven. He's about two and a half years older than me and I start using what I now call mode one behavior way back when I was in college and it was actually starting with summer of 1984 and My brother saw some of the amazing results I got from it and way back in 1986 Was when he first it was summer of 86 when he first encouraged me To put it down on paper and at the time I kind of blew him off like man I'm not putting this on paper and literally he just kept being persistent and then finally in 1995 I'll kind of start putting all my thoughts on paper in the form like a like a pamphlet like a 25 30 page pamphlet and my brother gave it to some of guys who were working for him in San Diego and They start benefiting the advice I put in this like pamphlet start benefiting him Anyway, then I turned it into an ebook and made available on internet in May of 1999 Essentially mode one is just a simple cold word for confident upfront Specific straightforward honesty. Yeah Okay, cool. Now now Explain mode one in a little more detail. So there is mode one mode two mode three mode four Yeah, I have four modes. I call them the four Modes of verbal communication. That's what I highlight. That's what my first book is all about and basically I Just got to a point where I realized that when it came To how I verbally communicate things to women and the men who are friends and acquaintances of mine I found that I could just generally divide it in the four categories. So mode two Would be when your verbal communication style is very polite Well mannered Causes sometimes overly cautious Very flattering and entertaining and very vague and ambiguous So that would be the general care characteristics of a mode to verbal communication style of Mode three verbal communication style would be when you communicate you either number one Don't communicate at all. You're kind of the lack of a better term of verbal coward Like you might have certain desires interests and intentions you want to express to people and particularly women But you're just scared to you scared of being rejected and you just You scared of not having your desires interests and intentions reciprocated So you either keep them to yourself indefinitely which again would make you a verbal coward or you become blatantly dishonest blatantly disingenuous insincere slash phony and You tend to be very misleading and manipulative in your behavior with people in general and particularly with women. So that would be mode three mode four is Almost I like to call more for the evil twin of mull one is similar to mull one in the sense that Europe about upfront Direct very verbally direct type honesty, but it has connotations of anger bitterness resentment Like a guy who would be more for be like a guy who say he had his heart broken by a number of women or Feels like he's been unfairly rejected by a number of women or gotten frequently manipulated by a lot of women So he kind of takes the negative Attitude of all you women are bitches all you women are scandalous whores and gold diggers and You could say his straight forward honesty is born of anger It's not coming from a place of safe confidence Encourages more so come from place of anger and bitterness and then again mull one is just when You just are Unapologetically honest with people about what you want from them What you want from them or why you want to interact with them? You don't try to mislead or bullshit people about Simply why you want to interact with so for example woman if you're in a company of a woman that you're attracted to and you know You want to have sex with her you wouldn't try to hide that you wouldn't try to lie about that You wouldn't try to bullshit about that and one way or another you would let her know that a the reason I'm talking to you Is because I want to have sex with you mm-hmm now When when it comes to the mode one mode two mode three mode four now like you said when you're Communicating with a woman and I think you touched on this in the 2018 speech at 21 was that There's different ways you can communicate that to a woman some women you can probably say be Extremely and I think you call that is that mode one hardcore Yeah, I actually have three versions Technically four but for the most part three versions variations of mull one that are my that basically depend on what language You want to use I'll start from most explicit to least explicit My most explicit version is what I call mull one hardcore I actually wrote an e-book called mull one hardcore and Speaking of that on a quick side note There's a lot of guys who tend to assume that mull one our core is the only Variation of mull one that I use of women and that's not true and I have to you know I'm gonna I'm gonna agree with you on that. I'm gonna agree with you on that Because I think when automatically Mode one because that was kind of my impression then when you said that there was different ways to Basically how to communicate with a woman and let her know that that's what you want So good. Yeah, go ahead and explain it more for sure. Yeah. Yeah, so So let's start with the objective you want engage in one or more episodes of say short-term Non-monogamous casual sex with a woman say that's the objective So mull one hardcore would be if you've met a woman, let's call her Linda and within the first few seconds After you initiate a conversation with Linda, you might say something like hey Linda I gotta tell you You are attractive Sexy woman and I want to slide my hard dick all in your pussy up that shit out of you Of course, she might say And you hold your gun you don't you don't like back from and sell what I mean if in you Oh, they mean to be to you know, you you you you maintain your friend He's like you heard what I said I want to put my heart dick in your pussy and I want to fuck the shit out of you So if you go that route using the high degree of profanity You know x-rated triple x-rated type explicit language I refer to that as mode one hard core Then the next level down would be with simply what I call regular or default ball one Using the same scenario if I was using regular more one, I would start all Using tame language, so I might say Linda. How you doing? My name is Alan Roger Curry Pleasure to meet you Hey, let me just you know get to the point. I think you're attractive I think the very sexually appealing and I would love for you to share my company one-on-one At some point within the next say week or two. What's your thoughts on that and then you kind of Play off of her response to that initial approach So your first thing you would do With a regular or conventional mode one approach is you would invite a woman to share your company And I always like to emphasize that that specific phrase one-on-one Because sometimes I've you just say hey, would you like to share my company someone will suggest well And I'm like no no no no I don't do no group dates and group But so I always say one-on-one I say when would you like to share my company one-on-one? Or I would like for you to share my company one-on-one at some point in the near future And then usually one of two to three things gonna happen If a woman is not interested in you just flat out not interested in you what I call a rejecter She's just gonna simply say that she's gonna say something like oh, I'm sorry. I'm married or I'm sorry I'm engaged me or I have a long-term boyfriend or might be just simply I'm not interested You would just leave her alone When you can usually tell when a woman is interested if she's gonna make comments and or ask you questions Make comments and read so usually when I use that default approach a woman might say do you start all? Conversations with women like this. Is this how you approach all when the woman starts asking me questions like that I'll say myself. Okay. She's at least halfway interested Because she's asking now or not now in your speech you you had mentioned That like if she's not basically Engaging with you if she just pulls back But if you do say that and she's still engaging even though she's telling you oh, no, I'm not going to do that that which you Sure that was from you 2018 speech so so even if they're if they still talking to you then that's good Yep, that's always even if you're in the midst of a woman criticizing you and so I don't know. I think you're where it is But in case you're not Tony, there's five archetypes of women. I've talked about just about all of my books And that would be reciprocators rejecters wholesome pretenders erotic hypocrites and manipulative time wasters Your most straightforward women are your reciprocators and reject a reciprocator if she finds you attractive and sexually appealing She's gonna let you know that she's not gonna try to hide it deny it Soon as you express interest in her she's gonna say I'm interested in you Similarly a rejecter She's not gonna try to play games with you or bullshit you about her lack of interest If you invite a woman who's a reject to the share company She's going very quickly and straightforwardly tell you I'm not interested or I'm already in a relationship or I'm already married The three trickier types of women is Your wholesome pretenders Your erotic hypocrites and your manipulative time wasters and to give the quick gist of each one Awesome pretender is a woman Dad behind closed doors 90% of time she's down to engage in one or more episodes of short-term non-monogamous casual sex But she's very paranoid and self-conscious about being slut change She's very conscious of her public image and her social reputation. So once you propose Casual sex to a wholesome pretender. She's gonna initially resist. She's not gonna reject first aid But she's gonna resist Because the main thing with her she's gonna want to find out are you a man who's private and confidential and discreet? Private confidential industry and are you a non-judgmental type guy? If if you pass her tests in those two categories Typically, she's gonna go ahead and sleep with you, but she's always gonna give you some initial resistance Similar to her but a little different is the erotic hypocrite erotic hypocrite She's similar to the wholesome pretenders, but the main difference is she's more pretentious She's more materialistic Matter of fact, she's usually highly materialistic and status-oriented and she's very Argumentative and antagonistic. She's gonna what's known among most men in the man's fear as shit test you Righty hypocrite is gonna shit test you because and where that comes from We always, you know talk about guys being alpha or beta that relates to erotic hypocrite She wants to know are you a true genuine legitimate alpha male? and why that's important to her is because Most women like her erotic hypocrite types they feel like if you're a beta male, I'm not gonna give you any sex for free That's that that general attitude of an erotic hypocrite If she feels like you're a beat them and easy to manipulate beta male her attitude is gonna be like you gotta pay for this You had a minimum you want to take me out to a five-star restaurant three four five weeks in a row before I have sex with you You gotta you know offer to pay some of my bills. You gotta buy me some materialistic gifts. You got to do something financially Beneficial for me before I agree to have sex with you Whereas if she feels like you're an alpha male with a high degree of confidence Self-assurance self-esteem and backbone then that's what she's gonna go ahead and eventually say, okay I'm gonna go ahead and have sex with you for free. You ain't gonna do all the stuff that I would have a beta male do So she's gonna give you a bunch of shit and going back to our original point what you brought up erotic hypocrites a Lot of times me and make the mistake of confusing them and conflating them with a rejector like once I write a heavy critic start criticizing them and insult them. They're saying am I okay This one must not be interested because she's criticizing me and assault me. No, no, no, no. She's shit-testing you and You got to be able to withstand that you can't let her criticisms and insult and the biggest thing That you got to maintain in your mind is what you already alluded to is you guys say yourself. She's still talking to me She hasn't ended the conversation She might be saying a bunch of negative comments towards me like, you know, you're an asshole and you're a jerk and all that kind of stuff But the fact of matter is she's still talking to me That's what I always say to myself when I know I'm in the company of a righty hypocrite I always just we say she's still talking to me and Then finally of the five is the manipulative time waster She's pretty much just the opposite of the wholesome pretender and the righty hypocrite the wholesome pretender and righty hypocrite deep down They are interested in sharing your company sexually But they want to kind of give you the misleading impression that they're not Whereas a manipulative time waster Mm-hmm is a woman who's not interested in sharing your company role in a romantic manner Or a strictly sexual manner, but she wants to give you the misleading impression that she is and the main reason why is because She wants to either do one of two things if not both she wants to either exploit you for your non sexual time attention and companionship your non sexual time attention and companionship and or she wants to exploit you for your financial resources and material possessions She wants to do one of those two if not both and then what happens if once she has Exploited you for one of those two things if not both for a number of days weeks of months Then she's just gonna discard you when she has no more used to you She says it's gonna discard you and this relates to one of reasons why I'm all one is because of the five archetypes I would identify Time wasters the quickest if I had a priority list of which of those five archetypes I want to identify the quickest it's the manipulative time waster because they can fool you with entertaining conversation Gotcha now your philosophy to it. I guess it was inspired by a porn movie from 1980 it was talk dirty to me I have never seen that move so tell me how that movie inspired you to Basically develop mode one Well, it's funny. I don't know if you can see all over my right shoulder But I actually have the poster from that movie on my wall but um, yeah, I actually just covered This in a couple of videos I did just this this week actually but yeah in the summer after I graduated from high school, which was night I graduated from high school in 1981 and And Couple months after I graduated was July of 1981 my brother and I were visiting some friends of the family and Matter of fact, he lives in Florida and his parents were real tight with my parents And we would go over to the house all the time And anyway, the parents had left to do something they left us there and this friend He loved to show porno movies and crack jokes about it, which is another story for another day You're not gonna be too many guys who want to do that, but he he always liked to find like comedy in Portal movies. So anyway, he put in his porn movie and this is when VHS was first coming around And he put in his VHS tape at his porn movie called talk dirty to me And it basically sent us around this this prolific womanizer named Jack played by this legendary porn actor named John Leslie and Jack he would just Go up to women basically in a national he was more one more specifically more one hardcore Got to add my third version more one, but I'll get to it. I told you about three very I stopped it too But I'll get to it. But anyway, John Leslie's character Jack was more one hardcore He would meet women and within the first three to five minutes. He would basically let him know I want to fuck the shit out of you. And when I saw that movie, I was just like I Like because I never number one I never seen anybody in real life display that type of behavior and even other fictional characters and movies like at that time I want to say the most Small seductive male character. I've seen a movie would probably be Sean Connery as James Bond And he was fairly straightforward in his own way, but even Sean Connery is James Bond wasn't on Jack's level I mean Jack Again within the first two three four minutes of his conversation with women. He would let him know I want to fuck the shit out of you and what happened what usually happened is they would initially Give him resistance what I was talking about with wholesome tenders. They write a kibble grits They were usually start off having some type of adverse reaction to them But then they would ultimately always give in and my brother saw me kind of taking mental notes And I remember he told me at the time he said brah that won't work in real life He said if you've tried that approach in real life a woman's either gonna slap the shit out of you or at minimum She's gonna curse you out and just walk away for it is like please don't so I kind of at the time again That was July 1981. I kind of said, okay. Yeah, you probably right Then I end up seeing a sequel to it called talk to me part two in October of 1983 And then finally that next summer I had an experience that I chronicled in my book called who said again I Have six verbal seduction stories in there that I chronicle And the matter of fact the first time I was at the 21 convention in 2017 At least one third of my presentation was about verbal seduction story number one from who said again That was the very first time. I used more one behavior in real life. But yeah, it was inspired By talk dirty to me in a nutshell the biggest thing I picked up and In a talk dirty to me is related to those two archetypes of the wholesome pretender and erotic hypocrite before I saw that movie I Used to take all the women's reactions on face value So say there's some sexually provocative to a woman and let's say the woman acted like you you were turning her off or Being disrespectful and socially inappropriate. I will take that on face by and be like, okay. Yeah, I must you know I must have fucked up. I must have said something You know rude and offensive But what I learned from talk dirty to me and talk dirty to me part two is that a lot of women put on façades They have their public façades Not to say that men don't a lot of us men. We have public façades But then we have our more private real selves And what I start realizing again first from watching those movies and then from our real life experiences Is that there's a lot of women I've had interactions with That initially had an adverse reaction To things I said to them that were real sexually provocative and sexually explicit only to later on End up in bed with me and they would admit like I would ask a lot of these women. I would say, okay You know, let's say I was in bed with a woman named Danielle. I would say hey, Danielle Why is it that you're laying in bed with me right now? But when I first told you I wanted to fuck you you like kind of went off on me and acted like this very Prudest bitch and they would tell me they would say well and you gotta understand us women We're socialized to always present ourselves as the prudish Strictly monogamy oriented good girl. That's what our mothers tell us to do That's what our fathers tells us to do. So we always try to play into that the prudish monogamy oriented good girl persona But deep down we want to fuck just as much if not more than you guys want to fuck Kind of like that. I think it was an old song that said a lady in the streets and a freak in the bedroom There you go Exactly that's how most women are The formal term for that is sexually duplicitous. That's what a sexually duplicitous woman is Now that's in your that is say it again your second book for anybody doesn't know it But who say it again is mastering the fine art verbal seduction and kinky erotic dirty talk So that's your second book if i'm correct. Yeah, yeah, I published that Well kind of yes and no Well as it is paperback wise I actually came out with a book called Upfront and straightforward Let the manipulative game players know what you're really thinking in 2009. So technically Upfront and straightforward is my Second book definitely my second paperback. But if you're already in terms of audiobooks Who said again is my third paperback But it's my second audiobook because for audiobook purposes what I did I combined Mode one and up front and straightforward like into one audiobook, which is bow one So not to be confusing. But yeah, but uh, yeah, I would say generally speaking. Yes. Who said again is my second my second book okay, and Critics say that it's kind of risky to actually In other words use kinky erotic dirty talk to a woman. So what do you got to say about that? Yeah, I hear that all the time Oh from general guy guys in the hemisphere as well as either rival dating coaches and conventional puas a lot of guys believe you just can't Use sexually provocative language or x-rated or triple x-ray explicit language of women And that's just simply not a hundred percent true. Now Is there some validity to it? Yeah Well, this will take me back to when you asked me about the different variations and I didn't finish. There's again mode one hardcore Regular mode one and then I have a third version. This was created by my brother called mode 1.5 And again a difference. Here's a simple difference mode one hardcore is when you start off being profane and explicit Regular mode one is when you start off with tame language what I call pg language And over a period of minutes say five 10 50 minutes you slowly escalate to use a more provocative And in explicit language And mode 1.5 Is when you don't use any profanity or any sexually explicit language at all. So number one clarification You don't have to use profanity Or sexually explicit language in order to be mode one. You don't have to Now it is highly effective with a lot of women. I'll be honest mode one hardcore can lead to some amazing seductions But you don't have to a lot of women Most of them that I've interacted with in my life They they got highly turned on when I was very So for these guys who say no all women will get turned off No It is an obvious thing If a woman is not attracted to you If a woman doesn't find you To one degree another physically attractive or sexually appealing Then honestly anything you say to her is going to be a potential turn off That has to do with sex And now that's another that's another word which which would be called from what I see is called like choosing signals So If you're getting those choosing signals, I guess it's kind of what you're saying But also too, there was a keyword that you said here just a minute ago was escalate and I think a lot of men will probably stop escalating if they get Any kind of but what you have said if they're still standing there You're really not getting rejected if they're still talking to you So how do you tell a guy to keep escalating if they're still talking to you? Yeah, you just what you want to do Say women I don't want to get too long went into academic and detail But one of the things I talk about in my book who said again Women are in heavily influenced by what I refer to as their social programming In their cultural conditioning Their social program and conductor cultural conditioning. That's what leads to what's known as women's sexual sensibilities So in other words, some women have very prudish oriented sexual sensibilities And in simple terms Some women It's not that women are turned off by say explicit talk explicit sex talk But they've been conditioned to believe that they're supposed to be turned off by that God yeah, and see that's why a lot of women will say criticize you but not in the conversation Because when I explain in more detail in the book, I'll give a simplified version This is what happens. Let's say you're talking to a wholesome pretender in the right equipment And you said something really sexually explicit to her She'll have what I like to figure we call the angel on the right shoulder And her little devil on the left shoulder and the angel which represents her prudish good girl side will say hey lisa Don't you dare respond to tony? Don't you dare because he's going he's going to think of you as a slut And he's going to tell all his friends that you're a slut. You better not respond to that sex talk You better tell him that you're offended and you're insulted and that he's totally being a socially inappropriate jerk You better tell him that but then the little devil side which represents her biological impulses And her raw sexual desires will say girl What tony's talking about is turning me on You go ahead and give them you you open them legs for tony You go ahead and give it to him because he's talking some good shit. I like this guy I want to give it to him. And so you say frequently speaking it becomes just battle It's like the good girl side is saying don't don't give in to tony and the naughty girl side is saying Give in to tony and how that plays out in real time Is that a woman will go off on you and say oh tony I can't believe you said that to me What do you think I am a whore a slut? Oh my god, I can't believe you're talking to me like this And that's because there's this fight going on in her head between a good girl and a naughty girl And where seduction comes in in overly simplistic terms Is you'll need to have the skills to persuade her to listen to this voice And ignore this voice Because if you don't successfully do that and she gives into the good girl voice Then she's gonna ultimately end up rejecting you and that's legal with you. So so you're really not manipulating her You're just you're really talking to her biological needs. There you go I'm glad you said that don't go don't tell you because I just got into a debate with someone on youtube where he said Alan you've always prided yourself as being this non manipulative type dating coach But I think you know just the fact that you seduce women He says seduction is inherently manipulative. I don't manipulate women For example, I don't give a woman a misleading oppression That I want a long term emotionally profound strictly monogamous relationship when I know I just want Short-term non monogamous sex. I never do that. That would be probably the most General example of a man manipulating a woman. I don't mislead or manipulate women or lie to him I just as you put it I talked to I used my conversation skills In such a way that I want to resonate with a woman's naughty girl side rather than her prudish good girl side Yeah, yeah Yeah, I I totally understand that. I mean that that makes so much sense. There's no manipulation You're just speaking to the side of her. That is a biological Biological thing in all of us man or woman Exactly Yeah, yeah Now you have another book called the beta male revolution And these terms alpha and beta Heck alpha beta gamma What other archetypes are there? Yeah, I mean sigmas. I mean there's just you know so talk to me about that book and Basically what motivated you to write a book like that And that was the last very last book I published as a e-book um paperback and audio book and There was a few motivations. I'd say the most foremost motivation for writing that book was I was hearing a lot of guys complain about the modern day dating scene and along with that I don't know if you you've probably heard this concept about what's known as the 80 20 rule theory And so the combination of just guys complaining about the modern day dating scene And secondly guys talking about the 80 20 rule theory I wanted To write a book that in part Briefly explained How we got to this point and so what I start off the book doing is taking us back to the 1960 what I basically propose and assert in that book is that The reason why the modern day dating scene is so far different than say the 1930s 1940s 1950s is because prior to the 1960s All dating pretty much centered around finding your husband or finding your wife I was pretty much the essence of all dating Is you meet somebody who you're going to ultimately marry? And then what happened that period between roughly 1960 and 1974 Changed everything and without getting too long-winded in detail Essentially what happened was well, I give a few highlights of that period. The first thing that happened was the introduction of birth birth control pill Then you had what's known as the second wave of feminism Then you had was known as the free love movement slash sexual revolution and then the fourth major thing that happened was the legalization of abortion and the end result of those four primary factors Was that women became far more comfortable having sex with men both before marriage and just generally outside the context of marriage and what that ultimately led to Was kind of two things concurrently that happened among men You could say the delineation between men began to separate between alpha males and beta males At first you could say it was like this that then by the men in the late 70s it was like this When women and women were almost just the opposite When women before that period between 1960 1974 the delineation between the good girls And the promiscuous sluts was like this Then they're got closed And so Women start looking at they start being able to compartmentalize guys and then that shows what happened A lot of women starts basically saying Is I don't have to look for the total package anymore. I can look for one guy that's just really really good in bed I can look for another guy who just Has really good funny sense of humor and great conversation I can look for another guy who's just financially generous and go always be willing to help me with my bills and so on and so on And so that's kind of where the alpha beta dynamic basically in a nutshell how I define an alpha male Is a guy that has it going on with the combination of his looks his confidence and masculinity his sense of dominance to the point Or and and I would say if I had one more thing seductive charm That women are likely to sleep with him Even if he doesn't promise them commitment long-term commitment and even if he doesn't Offer to be you know super financially generous with them That's that's that's what I generally define as an alpha male whereas a beta male Is a guy who's lacking in one or more areas that I describe for the alpha male either He might be severely lacking in looks department in terms of the combination of confidence and masculinity. He's lacking In terms of seductive charm. He's lacking And he's more than willing To pay women money for their sexual companionship big money and so Women when it comes to beta males. I was talking about this a little bit early I touched on it See the main difference is when a woman feels like she's in the company of beta male Her attitude is going to be like I'm not having sex with him for free He's never going to get sex for me for free. He's going to have to pay me either literally like Like say like a trick the exchange between a trick and a prostitute direct cash or indirectly meaning like, you know Exposed me to a higher quality of life and say my bills and stuff Whereas the alpha males are the guys that a woman would say, okay, I'll have casual sex with him for free Again, he doesn't have to promise me any type of long-term commitment. He doesn't have to Pay any of my bills I just think he's just this very charming seductive highly masculine man and I I'm naturally motivated to be feminine and submissive in his company and so You've had this major delineation again that started with the late 60s early 70s and what has happened one reason I wrote that book is because starting with the internet A lot of men became more cognizant of the fact that they were not the alpha male But they were more so in the beta male category It's like you had a lot of guys frustrated like well, I'm not getting the same attention as that guy over there You know that guy over there for example that guy over there He doesn't have to take women out on three four or five dates And he still was able to sleep with Cindy Just like within the top couple hours after he met her whereas with me I took Cindy out of four or five dates and I still didn't end up in bed with her What's the deal and what happened was guys start sharing information and making guys including myself That helped guys realize okay It's because the women I've been dealing with look at me as a beta male And so Where the revolution comes into play is that a lot of beta males start saying hey I'm not going to be a woman's second choice anymore Or I'm not going to be the guy that a woman just exploits for my financial resources And material possessions or exploits me just for my flattering and entertaining conversation I'm not willing to be that guy anymore I'm a demanded a If you're not going to give me the type of sex that you give the the chads of the world That fuck it. I'm going to ignore you. I'ma go my own way Hit me tough. I'ma go my own way I want to ask you a question a specific question and I had asked this on a on a big cast I'm not sure. Are you familiar with this day? Are you familiar with vox at all by any chance vox is a kind of like a philosopher Well, I'd asked him this question. I've asked other people this question And specifically I want to ask you because I've got different opinions. Can a man call himself alpha Can a man call himself alpha? Yeah, well, there were can I say I'm tony. I'm an alpha I think this is my opinion. I think that it's the way other men perceive you or women perceive you I don't think that you can say I'm an alpha I think it's people will look at you an alpha. I don't think you can Do you understand what I'm saying? I'll tell you yourself. You can't physically say I'm Well, here's the thing you're touching on something that actually has inspired a lot of heated debates within various factions in the hemisphere because Speaking of those two options you presented There's a lot of men who argue that Fuck what women think I only think you could be an alpha male If other men perceive you as alpha I think that's the ultimate of what determines whether you're alpha is that if other men Who observe you and interact with you? And you know They're the ones who will ultimately decide if you have them as other guys and I'm probably more so in this second category Is all about what how women perceive you the women who you interact with how they perceive you And so there's kind of been this argument that yeah, I would say between the two I'm more so Well, I kind of say it depends on what aspect of life you're talking about like for example And I think if you remember my presentation In 2018 I kind of touched on this. I basically at one point in my presentation. I said You can be an alpha in one aspect of your life, but be beta like I said, I've known guys who were tall muscular Could had great hand-to-hand combat skills And if you were to ask most men Is this guy alpha? They would say yeah that guy's alpha But I've seen a lot of those same type of guys when they in the company of their wife, fiance or girlfriend that were totally hand-picked The woman would be like just dominating them and I'll be like no that ain't alpha to me If you're letting your wife fiance a long-term girlfriend Just talk down to you and kind of send to you and just generally brow beat you and dominate you Then when it comes to dealing with women, you're not alpha And in some way of trying to push back on it, but I'm like that's that's so Again, you can be alpha with men and certainly like in athletics or business But specifically as it relates to dealing with women I would lean towards that second category you presented which is is ultimately determined by how women perceive you and evaluate you Yeah, I kind of I I agree with you on that but to me In my opinion when a man looks at another man as an alpha He was he looks at him as a leader He looks them as a leader somebody you look up to somebody you want to inspire to be like You know, but I do agree with you. Yeah, and and I'll agree with you on like I have a construction business And I I can't tell you Yeah Whatever she wants happy happy life. I have for that a million times in my business I'm a remodeling contractor. So I look at those guys is like what you know, shouldn't you be running the show? You know, but that's just my opinion, you know, shouldn't the man be running the show and talking to me instead But that you know, that's I guess everybody kind of has their Their different takes on that as far as what's alpha what's beta and who perceives you as an alpha and a beta And speaking speaking of alphas Um, you recently got married and I believe you have a son on the way. Is that correct? This is correct. Yeah, I got married on friday july 17th and um And at the time I was married my wife was already pregnant and she's due to deliver In mid september approximately Roughly five weeks from now. She's due to deliver my first child and my first son. So I'm very excited about the prospect of becoming a father Oh, that's awesome. I'm congratulations and I'm happy for you. I think um, you know, I know, um Was it a big deal in the manisphere when you got married? Oh, is it a I mean to me? I always looked at I'm like, holy crap You know He's getting married. Yeah. Yeah, it's funny. Well in the positive and I got a lot of congratulations from a lot of guys Particularly my followers and supporters But I had it's interesting. I had some guys though Related to the book we were just discussing the beta male revolution the subtitle of that book is It's called the beta male revolution why many men Are losing interest in marriage in today's society So a lot of guys I think based on that subtitle We're under the impression That that book was some way in some way form of fashion an anti marriage book But I've had it clarified by the guys. I said I never said I was anti marriage ever But yeah, when I first announced I was engaged a lot of guys were coming san alan I'm sorry, but you're you're contradicting yourself You wrote the beta male revolution that book is totally about Anti marriage and now you're getting acid. No, it's not What I do is I I present an objective view evaluation of the pros and cons of marriage But I never flat out in that book said I'm totally anti marriage But I do say in that book that for some guys There's some guys that plain simply should not Uh think about marriage particularly going back to the delineation between alpha males and beta males I feel like a lot of beta males Should not get married because they're going to a lot of times get exploited Particularly financially they're going to get financially exploited but For the most part there's exceptions here and there but for the most part I don't see the problem with any guy who's a genuine legitimate alpha male getting married because he's going to he's going to Lead the relationship He's gonna he's going to set the terms and conditions of that marriage and that His wife is going to follow his lead So I don't see the problem with it. Uh, the main reason I'll tell at least one reason I wouldn't lean towards marriage Is because I always wanted to have children And I told my followers after like the last 10 15 20 years I've always wanted children like even when I didn't see myself getting married I always wanted to have children but they kind of too were kind of interconnected because I never wanted Have a son or daughter and have the biological mother raising that child in a separate household So at minimum I knew if I had children at minimum I knew I wanted to cohabitate And even more so I felt like I'll you know, I would be open to the possibly getting married Because I've always wanted to raise children in a two-parent household. So In summation, I would say this I would say if there's guys in the man's sphere saying that all men should get married They're wrong And on the flip side if there's guys in the man's sphere saying no man should get married They're also wrong if you're on either extreme to mean You're wrong I think marriage benefits some men again, particularly men Who want to raise children raise a family? But for other men, they're probably better off remaining a confirmed bachelor Gotcha so But it's also great that that now This son you're going to raise is going to have a Which is now going to project into his family And I think that's what's missing in a lot of lot of families today So many single mothers and or single father households Because I be I believe a kid needs both, you know, and I'm of old school where I had both. I'm lucky You know, but I don't see that. I mean, you know, the the divorce rate is through the roof and Um, I think we're in a disposable society So anybody that does Go ahead and raise their child in a in a in a in a two person male and female Household, I think is going to get is going to be well better off for sure So I 1000% agree and again, that's that's one of the things that contributed to me wanting to get married I did not want to have There I said, I didn't want to have a baby mama, baby daddy scenario I just did not want to have you And um, I wanted again I wanted a I want my my children to be raised in a two-parent household like you I was raised in a two-parent household and I saw the benefits of having Both the masculine energy of my father and the feminine energy of my mother They both contributed to the man I am today I think if you took away one or the other Definitely if you took my father out of household, I would be a totally different dude than I am right now And to a slightly less extent if you took my mother's Feminine energy out of my upbringing, I would be a different dude I needed both of those in my life and my brother has said the same thing to his friends and acquaintances You I think children need both the masculine energy and the feminine energy in their household I agree Well, I'll tell you what let's wrap this up. I want you to give everybody The ways that they can they can get in contact with you now if anybody needs coaching, of course you have a patreon and A coaching he's a you're a professional dating coach So how can people how can people contact you and get a hold of you for coaching advice? Okay, I would give at least three or four content one email would be coaching at mode one net. That's m o d e o n e dot net coaching at mode one net and then number two all of my books on amazon dot com And specifically my four audio books are on the division of amazon called audible audible dot com My main website is called direct approach dating as one word direct approach dating Dot net No dot com. I'm sorry dot com direct approach dating dot com direct approach dating dot com and then finally I actually do some consultations for couples both married and unmarried couples who are interested in Incorporating elements of bdsm Which is erotic domination erotic submission as well as polyamory And that would be mode one dot net forward slash training mode one dot net forward slash training Okay, awesome. Awesome. Well good. Good. Sounds like you're doing well for yourself Again, congratulations on your marriage and your upcoming child. I'm happy for you And I did enjoy this conversation So I'm tony bruno and I'm going to leave links also for amazon links for your books in the description down below So Al awesome conversation. I appreciate your time. I appreciate your knowledge And hopefully Your son enters this world Thank you so much tony for having me. I want to just quickly say man I love you and your brother. You guys are both very classy gentlemen Very intelligent and articulate and I can tell you were raised by two quality parents because they produce two quality sons I appreciate this opportunity to talk to you Well, I appreciate that too. Thank you very much ARC. You have a good day and I'll talk to you soon Take care