 We're going to be looking at wives again, part two. Obviously, well, I'll give you an introduction in a moment, but let me read verses 22 through 24 here in Ephesians 5, and then I'll give you my introduction, and then we'll move into another passage, and I'll be asking you to turn your Bibles to 1 Peter 3, because I'll be sharing some things out of 1 Peter 3 in just a moment. But in Ephesians 5, 22 through 24, Paul writes, wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. So obviously, as mentioned a moment ago, the last time we were together, I didn't finish the study. We had begun by looking at how Paul instructed the church about what is called a spirit-led life, and I had pointed out that he had contrasted what would be called walking in the flesh with walking in the spirit. When you read your Bible and all, walking in the flesh is a way of speaking of living as an unbeliever. Walking in the flesh and its earmarks were pointed out to us. We saw them in chapters four and five. And as we had looked at that, we saw that walking in the flesh, the earmarks are hardened hearts and licentiousness, line stealing, obscenity, sexual sin. And then Paul went on to describe a life that was filled with the spirit, and he did so to contrast that with the walking in the flesh. And a walk in the spirit or a life filled with the spirit is a life of fellowship, he said, with worship, thankfulness, and it's a life that is centered on the Lord Jesus Christ. He made it clear that someone walking in the spirit is going to be submitted with humility. The one walking in the spirit loves other people, and the one who's walking in the spirit actually lives at peace with them. There needs to be a heart, though, of willing submission. One is actually a willing submission to other brothers and sisters. So to be effective, they need to live in love and humility, and he had said, we need to avoid selfish ambition. So he'd been writing concerning the work of the spirit in the church, and he addressed the subject of the spirit's work in the family, and that's what he's doing. And so he begins by first addressing the Christian wives. And that's where we're going to pick up today in chapter three. If you want to turn to 1 Peter three versus one through six, and I'll be looking at that to develop Ephesians, our study in Ephesians five. So we'll look at 1 Peter three, one through six. I'll wait for a moment for you to find that. Okay. I'm sure you did. So in 1 Peter three, one through six, this is what the apostle Peter writes. He said, wives likewise be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel, rather let it be the hidden person of the heart with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are, if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. And so in this passage, Peter instructs the church concerning husbands and wives. We'll be looking today as he speaks to the wife. That's because the building block of society rests on the family. Healthy marital relationships are what have been called the glue that keeps the family together as well as the society. And I was thinking about that and I read about somebody that I'm going to mention. Actually, I'll read this to you. This man was laying on his deathbed and he was, as he was laying on his deathbed, he began to confide to his wife. This is what he said. He said, I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women and not just one woman either. I've been with dozens of them. And his wife looked at him calmly and she said, why do you think I gave you the poison? Surprised you, didn't I? Anyway, we're going to have a joyful time right now, right? Verse one, notice how he begins in verse one. He said, wives likewise be submissive. He begins by saying that likewise, likewise simply means in the same manner. Likewise, we're in the same manner, wives be submissive. Likewise would be hearkening back to something you'd already written. If I were to be taking you through 1 Peter, I'd point out in chapter two that he'd been giving general instruction to the church and in chapter two, verse 13, he had begun with a general category of members of the church and from there became specific concerning those that he's writing to and so in chapter two, verse 18, he speaks to servants. In chapter three, verses one through six to the wives and verse seven speaks to the husbands and then verse eight, he returns to his readers in general. Now as he's speaking here and he says, wives likewise be submissive to your own husbands. He's not teaching wives to compare themselves to bond servants. I say that because excuse me, in chapter two, verse 18, he had spoken to the servants. So he's not teaching wives to compare themselves to bond servants. He's speaking in general terms because he wants to avoid being accused of being offensive. So in no way is he teaching that wives are inferior to their husbands. What he is doing is addressing the duties of both the husband and the wife and he begins with the wife because her situation as I've already mentioned, but her situation was far more difficult. I said to you, I believe in our last study in the ancient world, many believed that a woman was actually unable to care for herself. So when a woman was saved, it was a result of carefully counting the cost of what it would mean to be to be saved to become a Christian because she knew she could lose everything if she became a follower of Jesus Christ. And so even though Peter's taken that into consideration, we'll see that in some clarity in just a moment, there are those who think that Peter is teaching Christian wives to be doormats and that's not what he's doing. He's instructing her concerning the value of her husband's soul and he's saying graciously submitting even when he's disobedient to God is actually truly loving him. And that's how he's beginning this portion of the letter. That's why in verse when he says, likewise be submissive to your own husbands, the word submissive speaks of subjecting oneself or to obey. It is the word that speaks of arranging under or to subordinate. So he's saying you need to arrange under or subordinate yourself to your own husband. Why? That he might come to faith in Jesus Christ. Notice how he's pointing out that by submitting to Christ and your husband, he says you may win him. You may win him to Christ. Obviously, that's not always true. Some husbands will reject Jesus over a lifetime even into their death bed. Not every unbeliever will be one to Jesus Christ. We know that some refuse to to the very end. And sometimes the husband may be in just real opposition to the faith of the wife and maybe in real opposition from the day she gets saved until the end of his life through the rest of the marriage. And that's what he's pointing out. Notice in verse one, that's what he's pointing out when he says that even if some do not obey the word, when he says do not obey, that's that's very strong term. It's not mildly. It's not just kind of like just putting up with you and being kind of, you know, whatever. No, this is aggressive disobedience. This is intentional disobedience. You see, there are some husbands who have a tender even benevolent attitude towards the wife. For them, having a wife who has faith makes for a more comfortable marriage. They don't mind her going to church. As a matter of fact, they enjoy it that she does and takes the kids. They don't mind. But there are others who don't like it. And they have an aggressive rejection of those things, especially the things of the Lord. We've had that in this fellowship, you can imagine over the years where a wife wants to serve the Lord, wants to do things, and the husband's aggressively disobedient. I mean, just totally upset, gets really angry at her and points out that she's not the same woman she used to be. You've changed so much. You're not, I don't know if I can stay with you. I mean, we have had that where the man is not only upset, but is aggressive in his disobedience to the things of the Lord. These are guys who reject the Lord and they resent the wife pushing their faith on them. He may not be physically abusive, but he has a relationship with the Lord and he rejects the faith of Christ. And I mentioned to you that a wife, especially one who has recently been saved, cannot help but speak of the things of the Lord. That's what she does. She wants to tell the husband about Jesus because they want the husband to come to faith and they want to share with them. But sometimes the husband may be open, sometimes it may listen, but they don't respond. But other husbands are not so generous. They don't want to hear anything about it. Sometimes they might even become threatening. Sometimes they may even be violent. I remember when I was in India doing some ministry many years ago now, and in India we were in what is called a house church. And while we were there in the house church, they had what they called a testimony time. The pastor got up and shared and it was a house that was divided into two sections, the men in the front, the women in the back, but he gave them opportunity to come up and share. And it was interesting how he put it. He said, we're going to spend time now talking about how we were persecuted this week. So those of you who've been persecuted for your faith this week, come on up and align formed because persecution in India is very common. Very common. It's very common here too. We just don't see it in the same way. But in India it's very common. I still remember a woman who came and stood and held onto the microphone. She had a black eye. Her face was bruised up. I'll never forget her. And she began to share in the mic about how her husband had beaten her up a couple of days before because she had come to faith in Jesus Christ. And so this is a woman who wanted her husband to know the Lord. But the husband was not only disobedient to the things of God, but he was aggressively disobedient. He was even violent in his disobedience. And that is not something that is uncommon. Jesus in Matthew 10 36 said it like this, a man's enemies will be those of his own household. Well, in this case, what can be done? Well, notice how Peter writes, he said, they without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives. So ladies, your way of life may have a great impact on your husband. It will. But even if he's an unbelieving husband, notice he says by living for Christ, they may be one over to Jesus without a word. The husband may be one to Jesus. Now, he's not saying that he doesn't need to hear the gospel because that's how you're saved. You can't be saved without knowing the things of God and how to be saved. Romans 10 17 says faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. What he is saying is that he observed your life. And as he watches you and he sees the gospel lived out before him, it may open up opportunity for you to share and explain what is taking place in your life and to give him what the gospel actually is to share with him and to let him know what God can do in somebody's life, how God can forgive somebody, how God can transform somebody, how God can make somebody brand new and and he will watch you. I grew up in a home where my father was 100% against Christianity. He wasn't an evil man. He just was evil towards Christianity. He the only time I ever heard the word God come out of my father's mouth was when he was using God's name in vain. That's the truth. My dad didn't resist my mother from taking us to go taking us church. We did go to church. My mom tried to raise us in in faith in Christ and all through the Catholic Church. That's how I was raised. But my father told my mother you cannot have a Bible in the house because the only woman or person it was a woman only person he ever knew who read the Bible. My father said was crazy. And so he thought reading the Bible makes you crazy. And so my mom, the only thing I know for a fact that she ever really disobeyed my father in is she hid her Bible. My mom hid her Bible. My dad didn't know where it was. Didn't know he had one because he had said you can't have she had one. You can't have a Bible. Mama hid it somewhere and my mom would take it out and my mom would read it sometimes. And my mom would share stories with me. Now my mom didn't know anything about Jesus. She really didn't know what the Bible was saying. She thought the original sin was Adam and Eve having physical relationships. That's what she thought. She thought it was sexual sin that they had. So mama wasn't taught. But she did believe that the Bible had truth. And my father didn't. My dad said you cannot read that. But what happened is my mom when I got saved was very open and receptive to faith. And for me I wasn't intimidated by my father. He loved me. I didn't have a fear of my dad that I couldn't tell him what was on my mind. Thank God in my home I had the right to speak what I thought. So that wasn't restricted. So when I got saved I told him he's going to hell. I told him he needed Jesus Christ. I read the Bible to him. I did those things because that's what Christians are supposed to do to let people know the truth and all. But my mom and dad came to faith in the same night. And the way they did that is I shared with them that they're going to go to hell without Jesus. But as I had done that later on my mom explained to me she said I was reading in the Bible somewhere where it says a little child shall lead them. She's reading the book of Isaiah. A little child shall lead them. She said so when you were sitting there reading the Bible to me it came back to me. A little child shall lead them. So she said and she took it totally out of context. But she said so I figured you're my little child. You're going to lead me so I need God. That's how she got saved. And my dad on the other hand my dad said you got saved because you needed God. Your sister Madeline got saved but she didn't seem to need anything. He said I knew I was better than you but I'm not better than your sister. So if your sister needed Jesus I need Jesus. So it's weird how the Lord works these things out you know. But getting back to what the Bible's actually saying and pulling back from story time they may be one in what way. Well again when it says without a word it's not saying that the scriptures aren't used in evangelism of course the scriptures are to be used for evangelism because it's the scriptures that cause us to know who God is and leads us in the right path. What he's saying is that they will see the example of what a believer is by living with one by watching the way you live and that's what he's going to be saying in just a moment. He observes your life and as he observes your life the gospel is actually lived out before him. And that's why you spend time in the word because that's how you mature. It also prepares you when the opportunity comes to share like it says in Colossians 4 verse 6 let your speech always be gracious seasoned with salt so that you may know how to answer everyone. And so the wife will spend time in the word she spends time learning of Christ she's prepared she's living out this message in her home and the the husband is watching. Again Peter says they without a word may be one by the conduct of the wife. Again I mentioned that wives wield incredible influence obviously on the husband and your life especially the transformed life communicates the power of the gospel message of transformation. Now notice with me that Peter does not say divorce he does not say argue he does not say preach to him notice what he says he says submit to him. Now I had a lady approach me who said to me once she said my husband is not a believer may I divorce him so I can marry a believer and be in the will of God. And I said no she is not to leave him for a better husband because if he's willing to remain with her she remains with him. How do we know that? 1 Corinthians 7 13 a woman who has a husband who does not believe if he's willing to live with her let her not divorce him. See being with him and loving him and living for Christ in front of him is the only possible way that she might win him to Christ by submitting to Christ and the husband she might win him to Jesus. Again that's not always the case sometimes they're not willing to remain with you. Again in 1 Corinthians 7 15 it says if the unbeliever departs let them depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases God has called us to peace. So if you're a Christian woman married to an unbeliever but he wants to remain married to you you're not to divorce him. If you're a Christian woman married to an unbelieving husband who doesn't want to be with you then you're free according to Paul to divorce him. Not to encourage you to do that but he says God has called us to peace. But how can someone be one to Christ? Notice verse 2 he says they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear that word fear is also translated respect or reverence. The word observe is a word in the Greek that speaks of intense scrutiny. He's saying the husband actually closely watches you and in watching you will get a picture of what Jesus is like. You see when his wife is saved he begins to see changes in how she lives and as he's watching he begins to become curious about this new woman who's living in the house. You see he married one woman but now he's married to somebody else someone different. So as they watch you they should see two things about you that will speak to them. They should see your chaste behavior. When he speaks of chaste that's not him running around the house chasing you. The word chaste speaks of purity. It speaks of purity from carnality. It speaks of being modest or pure from any faults. It speaks not only of moral purity. It's speaking of an entire way of life so he sees you as being a modest pure woman and that's the kind of woman that actually can have a husband who trusts in them. And this is what made it so easy for me to love my wife. To be quite frank with you because I have safely trusted in her. I was thinking of this the other day and I forget what I was thinking. Let's see if I can retrieve it for just a moment. Like many of you and I don't want to go into some kind of dramatic emotional testimony. I don't want to. I'm trying to find the hardwood what the Lord was reminding me of. I grew up in a home that was not really filled with a lot of love and peace and joy. I just didn't have it. My mother was ill. My father had to work long hours to pay for doctor bills because she was hospitalized more than once. Things of that nature. It wasn't really a real warm home at all. My mom because she had gone through so much pain and everything had been died. I had been given certain prescriptions and my mom had become depressed. I mean when my mom was in her early 20s she had her first epileptic seizure and then my mother ultimately was taking certain kinds of medications for epilepsy and the medications worked against her to the point where every one of her teeth had to be pulled out before she was like 30 years old. So my mom didn't have a single cavity but they pulled every one of her teeth outfitted her with dentures and my mom for the rest of her life lived wearing dentures. So my mom got depressed and when my mom got depressed she would take it out on the children and on occasion my mom would drink in the mixture of the alcohol with the medications would bring out the worst part of her. So there were times when my mom was violent. There was a period of time. I shared this with you before and I don't say it for any reason other to try to get to a point. There was a time when I heard my mom say to me I hate you more than I ever heard her say I love you. My mom was very angry hurt and young and her life was just exploding in front of her. I mean she was she had her last child my sister Rebecca when I was six years old and Rebecca was shipped out to live with my uncle and my aunt. Rebecca's given her testimony so I'm free to say this and so my mom couldn't care for her because my mom was having epileptic seizures almost every day. She had him several times a week and when I come home from school I would end up watching the children you know the babies and stuff later on in life but my mom was having epileptic seizures and all and so she gave my my sister to my aunt and an uncle. Turns out my uncle was a child molester so this uncle molested my sister and my sister ended up hating men and went into a lesbian lifestyle for 20 some years and but the Lord retrieved and saved her and transformed her. She's married and loves her husband and all of those things because that's what the gospel does and I say all of that to say yeah amen amen. So the house I lived in you know became a wonderful house and and sons and daughters they'll always love their moms and dads because their mom and dad but sometimes mom and dad in many ways probably don't deserve the kind of love the children could have for them and that was how it was with me growing up so I didn't trust anybody so when I say that I have trust for Marie that's a bigger thing that I can explain because she my heart does safely trust in her because she is a virtuous woman you know the scripture says and excuse me I get emotional in Proverbs 31 10 and 11 who can find a virtuous wife her worth is far above rubies the heart of her husband safely trusts her so he will have no lack of gain she does him good and not evil all the days of her life and so that's the good woman that's the virtuous woman that's the woman who loves her husband in spite of the fact that he's an unbeliever in spite of the fact that he has no no longing for the things of God but because she wants him to go to heaven she doesn't want him to perish and enter into eternal judgment she lives in a certain way it's because she knows that's the way he may be one to Christ and and she actually believes that there's a heaven she believes there's a hell she believes in salvation she believes in these things and that's what peter speaking about she's that virtuous wife and so she lives in a certain way even though he's an unbeliever and and it can cause him to to see the goodness that she has and and how that came about it came through the Lord so they see this they see your the way that you live this this chaste behavior but notice he also says and they see your fear now that word fears is a word again that can be translated respect or reverence it carries with it the connotation of genuine admiration it's it speaks of her fear of the Lord but it also speaks of her respect for her husband and this this reverence this respect is an attitude of the heart she's revealing him her love by her respect this is a wife who encourages the husband she doesn't put him down this is the wife who doesn't ridicule her husband in front of people i i have on unfortunately i've i've been around that kind of thing on occasion not often but i have been around that on occasion where the wife thinks it's funny to put her husband down and that's uh that's just an unwise thing the way that a husband spells the word love is the way the word respect is spelled for me my wife has revealed that she loves me not because of all the great things she does from be honest with the fact that she makes meals and cares for me so many ways i can tell you the number one way i know that my wife loves me is her respect she respects me and and the way that love is spelled by a man is not aloe is respect and that's what the scripture teaches the man paul says we'll see this later on says husbands love your wife but why see that she respects her husband why did he say that because that's how the man knows that he's loved is when she shows him respect and uh i still remember uh our church was very young and a young woman came into my office this is when we used to have offices in ontario on grove avenue and that was back in the early 80s and a woman young woman in the church said i want to make an appointment with you and i said okay i was able to take an appointment with her she came into my office we had uh i had a small office there was a small hallway that was maybe maybe four feet you know by three feet by four feet and then a second office where my assistant was and this young woman comes in sits i never forget you was sitting across from me and she looks at me and and opened a conversation i said what can we speak about and she began to yell at me and she she was gritty in her teeth and her eyes were bulging out and when she began to yell at me she was there for marriage counseling um and i said i said i said marie you could talk to me at home you don't have to no no she started yelling at me and i i'll never forget this you know i was like 34 years old i was a young man she was in her 20s and i remember putting my hand up and sure she wouldn't even her eyes were bulging it was really interesting and and i remember putting my hand up like this and i said you need to stop i don't allow my wife to speak to me this way i'm most certainly i'm not going to allow you to if you want to talk to me you lower your voice you speak with respect or this conversation's over she didn't know what to do because obviously your husband hadn't learned to put a cork in it anyway i'm a nice guy i really am um but my assistant knocked on my door when when she left and he said what was going on in there he said i said well the woman was mad he said i thought it was marie i said no no my wife would never speak to me that way why wouldn't she there are women i've seen women who do that we just saw humorous that was real the humorous video that actually does happen many of you have been in homes like that why why because the husband is to be respected by the wife yes we'll look at the husband's role sometime someday maybe no well yes i should live a life that my husband my wife will will respect i ought to be worthy of respect of course i mean that goes without saying but respect is a choice that you make again i shared with you recently how one of the ladies i knew i knew her very well said to me well i'm supposed to submit to my husband as to the lord and when he becomes like the lord then i'll submit to him which is another way of saying i never will because he's not on this side of heaven ever going to be fully conformed to the image of price right so there are choices that you make and and the apostle peter is making it and let's put it like this he's making it obvious that caring about your husband's soul should be the most important thing in your life for him to go to heaven for him to have forgiveness of sin for him to be to be transformed for him to have hope for him to have love joy all those things that ought to be the number one desire of your heart that's why you submit that's why you minister in the way that you do because it's a way of demonstrating love for him and so he's saying this is how you do it now notice verse three how he says do not let your adornment be merely outward arranging of the hair wearing gold putting on fine apparel now he's not forbidding a woman from caring for her outer appearance it's encouraging her to be aware of how she uses her time as well as her resources i remember i had a guy who got angry at me one time because i tease the women you know i like teasing women i you know it's fun yeah that's how i show affection unfortunately some don't know that um and i said you know i you know he's not saying ladies he's not saying don't wear makeup i thank god for makeup and that's what i said he wrote me a letter he wanted to beat me up in this and that you know it's just really odd you know i didn't say i didn't like his makeup i said but anyway what is he speaking about is he forbidding women from from having makeup and jewelry and and nice clothing of course not he's not forbidding you for that there are churches by the way they they they are referred to very often in the title of the church holiness churches and very often what they'll do is they will say to the women you can't wear you can't wear slacks and you can't wear jewelry and you can't wear makeup and all of that and they take it from this passage is that what he's saying no what he is doing is he's encouraging her to be aware of how she uses her time as well as her resources and the reality of life is very simple we all grow older so outside adornment is not sufficient to keep a man's attention in proverb thirty one thirty it simply says it like this charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the lord is to be praised see beauty fades we know that you know at one time we may have had you know wonderful bills and this and that but that doesn't necessarily last for all people you know the man who had a 48 inch chest you know it drops to his waist that's just the way that's how it happens you know the woman with the he used to call it an hourglass figure well the sand sometimes goes to the bottom i mean that's what happens what i might just say about that it's just true but during that day i'm going to get you so mad at me i i'm not even through yet but during that day women often had very little to do with their free time especially the greek and roman women especially in the greek society because the greek man it was it was not unusual for a greek man to have a woman he's married to who had his legitimate children and then a woman on the side who gave him pleasure and very often because the woman didn't have outside things to do she was in the home all day and because she was in the home all day what is it that she did well she played dress up because she had nothing else to do with her time so she would put on clothing comb her hair put on jewelry that's what she did and so peter is actually referring to something that was common in the greek culture because they had little time to do therefore the little thing time to do the things they'd like to do so they spent time just getting dressed and he's saying undue interest in this shows that she has very little of importance that occupies her mind she has she is not to have an obsession with outward trappings she's to know that femininity is not on only the outside femininity is inward she's to know that true beauty is not only outside but originates within now women are very wise they know that men are initially attracted by outer beauty so it provokes sometimes a woman to spend much time working on the outside again that's appreciated even desired so he's not teaching women to neglect appearance what he is saying is not to be overly concerned with it now what has kept my heart knitted to my wife again it's her heart and i tell marie this i've said this openly to her i didn't go blind when i married marie i still see women who are pretty but what i'll say is i'll tell marie i'll see that that now that girl's a very pretty girl and marie doesn't claw my eyes out she'll say yeah she is because you know what just because i notice doesn't mean i want my heart safely trusts in her and if marie had undue jealousy issues of course i wouldn't do that i wouldn't provoke her but she doesn't you know why because in our in our marriage i have demonstrated to her that she's the only woman my heart there's nobody else for me she knows that so we can be open about these things so i didn't go blind when i got married but i'll say boy she's pretty but i'll say that guys look how handsome he is he's so handsome then i realize i'm looking in a mirror but you know what what can i say so don't laugh so hard so we all know that we all know we all know that outward beauty ultimately fades over time but character grows even more beautiful as the years go by so he says in verse four rather let it be the hidden person of the heart with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is very precious in the sight of god the hidden person of the heart he says the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit the hidden person of the heart is is speaking of moral character and this is what is not as easily seen as outer beauty he speaks of the adornment notices of inner beauty the adornment of inner beauty is another way of speaking of modesty so the inner beauty is not as easily and quickly observed as the outer but it is something that is revealed by a way of life it isn't something that is put on and then change the next day is the point he's making it's constant and it's growing and this inner beauty is that pure character it's the way she lives when he speaks of inner beauty he's speaking of her having a sense of modesty she knows what shame is she knows what respect and reverence is she knows how to regard others she's what is referred to in the older days as a lady it's interesting sometimes you'll be watching the news perhaps and they'll say and the lady shot and killed six people i'm thinking ladies don't shoot and kill people so we use the word lady today in a way that doesn't mean what it used to mean the word lady spoke of a woman of character a woman of purity a woman of class and that's what christian women are this is a person that doesn't change daily like you change your clothing this is a person who's transformed daily by the things of her heart that are changed because of relationship to christ and so he speaks of that now notice in verse four he speaks of the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit that word incorruptible is simply that it's something that doesn't fade it speaks of something that's indestructible it's something imperishable garments and clothing eventually perish they can be stolen they can be lost like jesus and matthew six nineteen and twenty said he said do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moths and rust destroy where thieves break in and steal store up for yourself treasures in heaven where moths and rust do not destroy or consume and where thieves do not break in and steal he's speaking of that which is incorruptible you see inner beauty can grow and blossom over time but the the the gold that she's wearing and the clothing that she may put on well that's going to fade in and eventually it'll be destroyed through time but not inner beauty then that's something he says notice that is precious in the sight of god the thing that is precious is the beauty of her character again beauty emanates from within it's from the heart a gentle and peaceful spirit is extremely extremely attractive again i i go back to my first relationship from first meeting with my young lady who became my my wife and that's what i was impressed with i still remember that i had asked the lord put me to sleep to my desires and he had i wanted just to delight myself in him i was teaching bible study she came my brother introduced her to me i talked to her afterwards visited with her and i was struck by not not by the way she looked because i i asked the lord to take from me the impulses i have to just go after beauty and i had asked him would you help me to find or to be with somebody that will make me a better person somebody that has character because i knew that at that age that i was called into ministry and and i knew that whoever it was that i was going to be with was going to have to be someone who would serve the lord love the lord to help me to be a better man and i know that a wife can help to form the husband into a better person i'm i'm the person i am right now you're the person if you're married you're the person you are right now because you are actually working together with your wife or husband and the way they are you're learning to form yourself around that so that you can get along and survive another day and what happens is that's true and what is happening is you're slowly but surely becoming the one that christ intended you to be so if i had married a different woman i'd be a different man entirely right now i wouldn't be the man i am right now i'd be a different man i'd have the same essentials of course but the way i feel the way i think the things i do the reason i do what i do would be to conform to that which pleases her so that we together could serve god so i happen to be the man i am right now because of the woman god gave to me and you're the person you are right now if you're married because of the person you're married to you have learned to adjust to them whatever it may be so that you together can survive and i don't mean that in in the silly way that it can i simply mean so that you can make it another day and become a better person because in marriage that's what god intends to do he intends to conform you to his image and he uses your mate to help that take place i wanted to be a man with a heart because like i told you in my upbringing emotion believe it or not wasn't something that you would have said i'm guilty of having because i was very cold and very hard because of the way my house was with anger and things of that nature you kind of like you just go into kind of an emotional little little ball that's what you are and you just survive so when i met marie i saw in this woman kindness which i didn't have see i used to pray and ask lord god make me care help me to have a kind heart teach me to have compassion i prayed like that when i went in the military that was my first prayer teach me to love teach me to care teach me to have a spiritual spine teach me to be a man of god that's what i want and god was doing that work all along through his word by a spirit but he also did that by bringing into my life somebody that encouraged that because those are the things that won her heart because she wanted a man who loved the lord she wanted a man that that would care for her and love her respect her and treat her with the dignity she needs forgive me that's what i wanted that's what i wanted so he gave me the right one so anything you see in me that may be tender good it's because god gave me a good wife and my wife helps me and i mean that i mean i mean that i mean that sincerely it's just true and it's not a weakness by the way on my part it's just i'm just trying to be real that's just the way it is and is that's what you're supposed to see a godly woman encourages a man to be a godly man now in verse five it's speaks of the trust in god and it's demonstrated again by submission for in this manner in former times holy women who trusted in god adorned themselves being submissive to their own husbands and so he goes on to say a sara obeyed abram calling him lord whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror now this is interesting and we'll be closing with this um notice in verse six it says sara obeyed abraham we'll look at that calling him lord whose daughters you are when marie and i were dating i've shared this many of you probably heard this but i told her we were talking about this the other day when we were dating and and and i had said you know we need to read the bible you need to read the bible she's a brand new believer brand new christian so i said we're driving somewhere together and i said we ought to read the bible do you think and she goes yeah that'd be good she goes what should we read i said first Peter three she says okay she's a brand new christian so she read verses one she got to verse six and she reads out loud she's reading as sara obeyed abraham calling him lord and she said that i said wait a minute and i she looks at me like you don't interrupt the reading of the word of god i said no wait a minute what did she call him and she says well the bible says sara obeyed abraham calling him lord i said oh i like that i said as a matter of fact that's what you should call me every oh she hasn't done it yet but it was true but i want you to see this notice it says sara obeyed that word obey for those who need a definition it means to listen to it means to recognize and conform to authority that's what she did when she obeyed she recognized and conformed to biblical authority to god's authority and that was speaking of not just on one occasion it speaks of the habit she had over a marriage now this i found interesting as i was preparing this the only place in scripture that says that she called abraham lord is found in genesis 1812 it says in genesis 1812 that sara laughed to herself or within herself as she thought after i am worn out and my lord is old will i now have this pleasure the pleasure was to give birth to a child in her old age so she's actually i want you to see this because this is very important she laughed to herself and she thought by calling him lord within herself she wasn't saying it out loud it was within herself she was revealing her heart her submission was revealed as an attitude it was revealed by the beauty of her inner being nobody was listening to her except god shall i find pleasure in my old age i'm worn out my lord is old my lord she had an attitude in her heart not just in outer behavior sometimes we can on the outside appear to have this relationship that is respectful and all but our hearts are far away from the activities of our body we don't really respect we just act that way we don't really reverence we just act that way especially in front of people but she was by herself and that i found very significant as i was preparing this so her submission was really an attitude of the heart it began in her heart not just her outer behavior but it began within her and then he says in verse six whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror it's interesting i was reading a rabbinic source on this men were called children of abraham but women were referred to as children of sarah because she's looked at as the model of virtue and wisdom and he's speaking of in the context of christian wives he's saying they're to have a habit of doing good they are to be those who trust and hope in god consistently over time because remember at that time and even now being a christian could be dangerous so they held fast to the lord and that's how she would do that you're truly uh children of sarah if you will daughters of sarah if you live in this kind of way an attitude of the heart and a fear and reverence for god and then finally even though she was a christian in a time that could be dangerous she she was being encouraged to hold fast to the lord and then finally by closing with a thought out of effusions marriage is the type of the church and jesus's bride submits to him in effusions 524 paul says is the church is subject to christ let the wives be to their own husband the church acknowledges jesus's authority the church seeks to please him and even so the wife is to love and please her husband jesus is the perfect model for husbands he's the perfect example of submission why because he voluntarily yielded his life to serve and to save a world that was lost in sin and in doing so he revealed the length that love goes so a husband and we'll look at this sacrifice protect cherish love provide for and lead the home that's pleasing to god it also secures the home and the wife submits jesus christ and serves alongside of her husband submitting unto him as unto the lord and together the home is secured and again remembering one last thing this is not possible without the power of the holy spirit it requires the power of the holy spirit you can't you won't you won't succeed you won't succeed doing it in the flesh it begins and i'll close this way it begins on your knees it begins in prayer it begins in seeking god my wife and i have together been doing that for many years seeking the lord together because we made a decision a long time ago we made a choice and the choice we made is us we chose us we could have chosen a variety of things there were various things that we could have pursued things that that maybe our hearts were inclined towards but we chose us we chose us it's a rosalas is it's marie and it's david we're together in this thing called life and so because thank god even though marie's mom and dad didn't have an evangelical christian marriage they stayed together for 50 plus years my mom and dad the first 24 years of their marriage or so 23 years of their marriage it was of without the lord it was without the lord but my mom said the first years were without him they they were still they were good she says but when christ came into our life then they became great that's true because my mom who had been angry and my mom who had had this this dealing with so many things when she came to faith in christ my mom changed so did my dad because that's what god does is he transforms lives and i saw that in my home and even though they didn't know jesus in the first 20 plus years of their marriage they knew that their vows were to one another and they honestly knew that their vows were made to god even though they didn't know the lord the way they came to know him they at least had the fear of god in that and they said our vows were made to him my mom could be tough my dad could be tough but when they came to faith in christ i watched them as her life changed over time and so i was raised in a home that was rough in many ways but i had one thing that i was raised with that mattered to me a lot to this day it does it was very biblical without us knowing it and it was faithfulness to your family faithfulness to your wife and so i can honestly say that to you i've never had an inclination desire of any kind of interest to ever be with anybody else except for one woman that's that's my life outside of jesus christ there is nobody else there could be nobody else there's only one and the same's true with her we have each other we chose us so as a wife she wants to please her husband and as a husband i want her to please me too no i want to please her father we bless you and we thank you