 The makers of Wrigley Spearman chewing gum invite you to enjoy life, life with Luigi, a comedy show created by Cy Howard and starring that celebrated actor Mr. J. Carol Nash with Alan Reed is the swallow. Friends, as you know, Wrigley's Spearman chewing gum is giving daily enjoyment to millions of people all over America in offices and factories, on farms and ranches. In mines and oil fields, folks find that chewing Wrigley Spearman helps them feel better and work better. The makers of Wrigley Spearman gum are glad that their product is proving helpful and enjoyable to so many people and they're glad too that they're able to bring you life with Luigi because they know it's the kind of a radio program that millions of Americans enjoy. And now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes about his adventures in America to his Mama Basko in it. Dear Mama-mummy! Let me, I'm getting to be such a big American a business man, I'm going to even recognize them myself. I'm a got a ledger book, a counselor receivable, a file, a big checker book. All day long I'm going to send out the letters to people, they send me back the letters, I'm a buy, sell, exchange, and sometimes a Mama-mummy you'll be surprised I'm even going to make a little bit of money. You should have seen me when I'm a walk-in-a-banker. I'm going to make a deposit, tell her is a scratch in my little bank-a-book. I'm going to say thank you, he says you're welcome. I'm a wave of goodbye to manager, shake hands with a bank-a-guarder, fill up with my fountain of pen and a walk-out. Hi guys, it's a pleasure to be a business man here. Today I'm going to figure my check-a-book and it's a show I'm going to get $35 into my balance. That's so wonderful, you know? Well, the government doesn't say I'm a no-should-spend-or-buy unless I'm a needy. This is to stop inflation. So I'm going to my high school and now maybe they give me advice how to invest in my $35. America, I love you. You like a papa to me, from ocean to ocean. All right, quiet class. I'll call the roll. Mr. Bascombe? Here. Mr. Howard? Here. Mr. Olson? Here. Mr. Schultz? I accept. Schultz, what do you mean by that remark? What remark? I accept. Mischparting, this is all done. Thank you, fellow boobers. Thank you. I always say, an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a laugh a day does the same thing. And anyway, who can afford apples at today's prices? All right, Mr. Schultz. Now, class, let's get on with our lesson. I assigned you the chapter on conjunctions in your grammar books. Mr. Howard, will you tell us what is a conjunction? With pleasure. A conjunction? That's a place where two rare words can be heard. Conjunction? That's a place where two rare words meet. No, no, that's a junction. Oh, I'm sorry, of course. Fine. Now give us the correct answer, Mr. Howard. Certainly. A junction is where two rare words meet. Mr. Baskow, you may tell us what a conjunction is. Better still, give us a sentence using a conjunction. All right. The man took his money to put in the bank. Good. Now, what word is a conjunction? And, uh... That's right. And what two clauses does and connect? I've been to hear you. I said, what two clauses does and connect? Huh? Well, now think of your sentence, Mr. Baskow. What did the man put in the bank? Oh, that's a $35. $35? Where did you get that from, Mr. Baskow? From my check account. No, no. Well, it must have been from a check account, Mr. Baskowling. I didn't have it in the cash register. Luigi, what's this with $35? Don't tell me your business is finally improving. Are you surprised, Mr. Howard? Yeah. You're buying it, Luigi. You must have yet to get it. Pop! For you, $35, that was a lot of money. Yeah, that's almost enough to buy a pound of steak. I smile every time, but I'm only fooling. You can also get with it a couple of cucumber. Well, I like the way you all got off the subject and on to something else. Yeah, it's fun, isn't it? Mr. Schultz. No, please, please, Mr. Baskowling. Maybe you give me advice on how is the best one of us the $35 and then I'm going to help in the future. Well, perhaps we can turn this lesson from grammar to one on economics. I would say just let it accumulate. Mr. Howard, what would you do with an extra $35 these days? Invest it in the stock market. That is blue chips only. Blue chip for $35 you couldn't even get a poker chip. Luigi, I think I have the solution. Well, that's interesting. You have some ideas, Mr. Olsen. Yeah, and if I must say so, Ms. Wolding, I do think my idea is really the best of all. That's what I like. A nice, quiet, modest showoff. Can you please, please, let us in a talk. Well, I once made a general study of accounting methods and economics, Luigi. And I know quite a few things about business and finance. I would reinvest the entire capital back into the business. In this way, you can buy more stock at attractive prices, take advantage of cash discounts, meet your current expenses, maintain your facilities during the slack season, and cover normal season and expansion in other words. Olsen, there are no other words. You use them all up. Mr. Basco, I think Mr. Olsen's suggestion is excellent. I'm a thinker, sir, too, but what did he say? He said you should buy more stock for your store. Ah, Luigi, I do it all the time in my delicatessen business. When I sell something right away, I use the profits to stock up on my merchandise. How you do? Yes, sure. In fact, I made it a big purchase last week, you know. If you look in my refrigerator right now, you're going to find over 10 miles of Frankfurters. Class and Olsen especially, I'm going to thank you very much for your advice. When I'm going to get back to my antique shop, the first thing I'm going to do is order $35 a word to more of the antiques. That's very good, Mr. Basco. You just keep the investing back in the business. Today it's only $35, tomorrow it's $100. Next year, $500, then $1,000, then $20,000. $20,000? What am I going to do when I'm going to get $20,000? You could take out $35 and buy yourself a new zoo. Dear New England antique company, I'm thinking to build up my antique stock and I'm like to order three numbers from your colonial catalog. I would appreciate, hmm, appreciate, let me see. That's got a one api or a two pis. Three pis. Huh? Ah, Basco, hey, I didn't hear you come into my store. I just thought I'd surprise you little banana nodes. Hey, what a fool you want to know all about apis. Are you writing an emancipation of proclamation? No, Basco, I'm not writing a letter. And if I'm going to know you, Basco Ali, you read the whole thing already over my shoulder. What? Luigi, whatever I am, I'm not the sneaky type. Besides, you write your letter so small it's impossible to read. Who are the Basco Ali's? There's no secret. The first time in a long time I've figured out that my checker balance and I'm a goth the more than I'm an ain't the goth. Well, a pin of metal under him, he's a goth is the more than his ain't the goth. Must have made you very happy. How little cabbage you put. Yeah, how much it was you got? $35. Ooh, I hope you don't let all this money go to that melon head of yours. Well, there's no no worry, Basco Ali. That's just the way I'm writing this letter. My friends in the night of school, they're advising me to take the money and to buy more antiques with it. What, Luigi? How could you do such a thing? What are you talking about? I'm talking about inflation. Here, the countries are trying to stabilize the prices and you're pushing those prices right out of the stable. Yeah, but I'm a no-understanding, my friends. Dear friends, the Unite School of Friends, always you listen to those stupid shipmates. What do they know about a big business in economics? Luigi, I've been here 27 years. The things I don't know about a business you could have put on the head of a pin. You're so right, Basco Ali. Everybody has a collar you pin ahead. That's the funny thing. When I say it, it's a come-out of difference. Now, Luigi, you just sit down and listen to me. I'm going to give you the benefit of my experience. Oh, thank you, Basco Ali. You're real a friend. Sure. Now, of course, you're with a $35 at the burn. You could have run that up to a couple of hundred very fast. How? Well, we could get some cards and play a little canazza. No, no, no, Basco Ali. You're too good for me, especially the way you play with everything a while, except what is it? It's a clogged. I'm too good for you, huh? Well, all right, I'm going to make a new rule. A hundred points for four I the Queen. How are you like that? All right. I don't understand about that. Business is a before-pleasure, huh? That's what I'm alike to hear. Business is a before-pleasure. That shows intelligence. If there's a one thing I'm in no kind of stand, it's a stupidness. People with a no-telligence. Now, there's lots of ways to invest the money. One of the worst is the stocks. That's a bad, huh? Oh, that's terrible. You lay out a $35, or some girl, a secretary, has put the stock of paper wrong, and a typewriter one day, zoom, you wiped out by the margin. Basco Ali, I'm heard a lot about the oil. It's supposed to be good at tax-a-ways, too. What's your opinion on it? Oil? Very good investment, Luigi. One of the best. The government needs it. As long as there's an army, there's always got to fry potato chips and oil. Uh-huh. Then you think maybe I'm a better off to invest in oil. Now, I want to bake the potatoes, come back in a style you threw. Basco Ali, I'm so glad I got you to advise me. I'm glad you think so, Luigi. You know, thinking it over carefully, I got the best investment for you. Let me see. $35, but just about pays a half of it. A hundred invitations, a hundred envelopes, a flower, a license. Basco Ali, what kind of investment are you thinking about? Marriage it to my daughter Rosa. Not gonna do that. Luigi, that's a lifetime investment. That's a lifetime imprisonment. Besides, Basco Ali, I'm a kind of stop in a fleshing, and Rosa's got a more in a fleshing than anybody I'm in. All right, wise guy. You see, uh... Luigi, after all, you can't be mad on a fella for trying. No, no, Basco Ali. That's right. As long as he's in, he'll get the mad if there's no work. Who's mad? Forget it. And, Luigi, regarding investments, the thing you want to do is to protect yourself, right? Well, Luigi, what would you think if I said I found something that's never gonna change in a price? The price was the same a hundred years ago. Today is gonna be the same a hundred years from now. Real protection. Basco Ali, that sounds wonderful. What is it? Stamps. Stamps? Postage of stamps. The stuff you put on your letter to your mama mayor. Three cents a stamp, so it was a cost of three cents. Have you ever heard of Marshal of Fields running a close-out of sale and a postage of stamps? Never. It's impossible. The government is never gonna let a three-center Lincoln become a one-center Washington. It would be a terrible insult to the Lincoln. Thirty-five dollars in a stamp, sir. It's always gonna be worth the thirty-five dollars. Right. Luigi, I can see I don't have to draw moon pitches for you. Now just see between a you and a me and a fire hydrant. All of the smart millionaires, they're taking their money out of cash, putting it into stamps. See what they call a stamp collector? I said enough. That's enough, sir. All right, now you wait to the post office. All right, then, goodbye, Mr. Quetzalcoatl. Goodbye. Oh, wait, wait. When you get down there, don't let them know what you're doing. Make them believe it's the mayor of the letters. Get on the line a few times. Get on the line a few times. Sure. It's all right if I'ma tell you about a stamp should be in a good day. But if you let somebody else get it wise, they liable to tell somebody else, that somebody else should tell somebody else. Before you know it, the worst thing possible is liable to happen. What's that supposed to mean? You liable to start a run on the post office. Before we return to life with Luigi, here's a suggestion that has proved helpful and enjoyable to millions of people. It's simply the idea of carrying a package of Wrigley Spearman chewing gum with you wherever you go. At work, out walking or driving, riding on the bus or streetcar almost any time and anywhere, you can slip a stick of Wrigley Spearman in your mouth and enjoy some mighty pleasant chewing. It's good for you, too, because chewing helps you feel more relaxed and free from nervous tension. Try it and see for yourself. Starting tomorrow, always keep a package of Wrigley Spearman chewing gum handy in your purse or pocket. Take a stick from time to time and see how much enjoyment it adds to your daily activities. And now let's turn to page two of Luigi Basko's letter to his mother in it. Well, Mamma Mia, Pasquale is giving me best idea of all who buy United States postage stamps. In this way, I'm a no-start in inflation and I'm a no-loser with inflation. Well, right away, I went to the bank to check for my $35 and I went straight to post office to buy the stamp window. Next? Yes, sir? Ah! How you doing, Mr. Stamperman? Well... It's a nice day, no? How's your business? All right, all right. Now, what is it? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just like some stamps. What denomination? Huh? What? What denomination? I'm Italian. But what's in this I gotta do with a stamp, sir? Look, Buster. Pleasure name is a Luigi. All right, all right. What's yours? Fred. Oh, that's a nice name. I'm a pleasure to meet you, Fred. And I'm a pleasure... Now, wait a minute! All right, now, how many stamps do you want? How many you got there? What? I don't wanna... I'm gonna wanna empathy you all out there. Look, how? Luigi. Look, there's a big line in back of you. Pleasure, pleasure. Don't get angry, don't get angry. I'm a comer to give you business. Oh, thanks. Now, what kind of stamps do you want? What the kind of you got there? Well, we have stamps starting from the half penny up to the five dollar stamp. Half a penny stamp for half a penny. That's right. What's a picture you got on this? Benjamin Franklin. Poor fella. It must be terrible to only have a half of your face on the stamp. No, he's got all his... All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. I'm a went there. Who's a picture you got on the other stamps, please? All right, all right. Now, look for yourself. All right. Washington is on the penny stamp. Adams is on the two-cent stamp. Lincoln on the three-cent stamp. Madison on the four. Monroe on the five. Adams on the six. No, wait, wait, wait. You said it before. Adam is who was on the two. That was John Adams. Adams is his son Quincy. He was president too. Oh, they keep it a business and a family, huh? Hello, look. How much do you want? I've spent enough time. Thirty-five dollars a week. Oh, well, now we're getting somewhere. How do you want those stamps? Just to put in a little browner bag. I don't know. I'd be great in the army. I'm only 40. Now, look, I... Oh, please, please, please. Please don't get excited. Give me... Give me, let me see now. Twenty Washington, fifty Lincoln, fifty Adams, twenty for the son of Quincy. I don't want to start a trouble in a family. All right, so let me see. Thirty-five a Jefferson, thirty-five a Jefferson. He's a wonderful man. He's a signed Declaration of Independence. And oh, yes, President Truman. Mr. President Truman is not on a stamp. Why? He's a no-taker, go to picture? Because I refuse to say why. All right, all right, all right. Please, give me thirty-five dollars a weapon and spread them all around so that no president is going to feel left out a little bit. Oh, look, look, Pasquale. Don't they look beautiful? The United States of Stamps. Yes, they're really beautiful. You know, Luigi, they're just like the United States bonds. The same company puts them both out. Yeah, that's right. The best company in the world, America. Well, go on, go on and paste them in the stamps in a book. Yeah. Pasquale, paste them in. That's going to keep them nice and clean a long time, huh? Oh, sure, sure. Yeah. Yeah. And what's the matter? Well, you like laughing like that? Oh, it's nothing. Nothing, Luigi. Luigi, my fellow boomer. Oh, hello, Schütze. Hello, Schütze. Are you in Pasquale, huh? Sure. Hello, Mr. Spaghetti Zellersman. It's a matter, Mr. Delicatessen, man. You want to start a trouble? No, but I know if you're around, as I'm already started. Luigi, what are you doing there? I'm a paste in the stamps in my book, Schütze. Luigi, you got it off stamps in that book to send it to Mars. Special delivery rocket, man. Yeah, well, Schütze, you see, I was a... Luigi, Luigi. Oh, Pasquale, I can tell you, Schütze, he's a good friend of mine. I'm sure I'm going to tell him, huh? You see, Schütze, I'm going to advise you from Pasquale, so I'm going to bought the antiques. How am I bought the stamps, sir? Stamps? Just plain bolster stamps? Yeah, I should say. Yeah, and what are the stamps, sir? Now, I'm going to beat the airflash. Luigi, now you can beat your head against the wall. I knew that would be trouble. Pasquale, it's just your idea of a good investment. No, no, no, no. Pasquale, that's... that's the... that's the same life you left before. It's a man. April's a fool. The pop can see that. April's a fool. What? Pasquale, you... Oh, that's a man, Luigi. April's a fool. That's American custom. Yeah, but Pasquale is this. It's March 27. So what? Luigi's are so dumb, he's going to be a fool of five days before anybody else. Can he get his money back for the stamps at the post office? Yeah, but the post office... but I'm going to get a ten dollars away to pass it in a book. Well, that was your own idea. I just licked the stamps and I said, hey, do something with them. Luigi, you stuck the stamps in a book, and now you stuck it in them. Oh, Luigi, if you would only listen to me, we could get the money right back. We would call up the zoo and tell Pasquale is the human hyena. I'm not sure, sir. That's Pasquale's idea of a joke. Hello. Hello, Mr. Basco. This is Mr. Hawkins at the bank. Yes, Mr. Hawkins at the bank. Mr. Basco, 25 dollars. Our teller just handed you the money, but actually you're overdrawn by that amount. But I figured I had it 35 too much. Well, you must have figured wrongly. You'll get 35 dollars at ten in the morning tomorrow. Goodbye. Pasquale is now as serious. My account in the bank gets overdrawn. Don't look on me. Luigi, that's the first time he's doing your favor when he says don't look on him. We're going to try to get your money back. Well, thanks for sure, sir. Ladies and gentlemen, happy April the Fool, everybody. Sure, sir. I'm going to have to get the 35 dollars. What am I going to do? I don't know. Maybe... Maybe I'm attacking the stamps, sir. Wash them off in a cellar. Yeah, wash them off, Luigi. Into my head and I tear your child's poop. We're going to take your stamps. And we're going to... Who's the back of my little April the Fool? Are you made out of these stamps, sir? Oh, Pasquale was... Pasquale was a terrible... And the banker says if I'm a donor, get the money back. Don't worry, Luigi. I heard it's easy to break out of Alcatraz if you can swim underwater for three hours. Pasquale, that's not so funny. He'll take these beautiful stamps in your hand. Go ahead and take them. They're brought to me all of my trouble. All right, all right. I'll hold them. Luigi's lucky for you. I love you. He always out of you problem. Oh, you got a way out there? Sure. My daughter Rosa. Mummy, what a way out on a four-lane highway. Don't be so funny. I'm going to call her in and maybe she's a savior. Rosa! Rosa in the copper custard. Say hello to Luigi. Hello, Rosa. Don't be so down and face to Luigi. Rosa, show him what you've got in your hand for his a postage of stamps. Look, Luigi. Money. Now you're going to buy my postage of stamps? Sure. Now show him what you've got in your other hand. Here. That's a $2. That's for something you've got to buy, Luigi. What's that? A mirage license. Nothing a donor, Pasquale. I'm a rather learn how to swim underwater. Otherwise, I'd take your stamps to see if I care here. What's the matter, Pasquale? Nothing, nothing. Come here, Rosa, excuse us, Luigi. Hey, Rosa, look at this one penny stamp. Rosa, did Washington ever have a beard? No, Papa, why? He's got a beard and these stamps. Let me see. You know why? The government must have mixed up the printing machines and put Lincoln's a beard and a Washington's stamps. These stamps must be worth the fortune. Luigi, Luigi, I just dug up the money. Now, quick, give me those stamps. I'll take them off your hand. Just a second, Schultz. Luigi, you don't have to go to strangers. Here's your $35. I'll buy them. Oh, no, I'm so smart as you are, Pasquale. You get it? Luigi, I give you $50 for the stamp. $75. $100. That's all I got. I win. $101. Hey, Luigi. Thank you, Pasquale. And I'm sorry, Schultz. Luigi looks again as April Fool out of you. These stamps, they worth the fortune. Huh? That's right. You see, Washington has got a beard. Ooh, I could have kissed them right now. M-m-m-m. Papa, look. You got green ink on your lip. Hey, what's the big eye there? These are bids. Are they coming off? They ought to. I just drew them a half hour ago. Thankers of Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum. Hope you've enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi. And they want to remind you that Wrigley Spearman Gum is a healthful, A healthful, enjoyable treat to bring home for you or for your family. It's a perfect treat to give your children, for instance, because they can enjoy it between meals without spoiling their appetites. Wrigley spearmint is a grand taste treat for grown-ups, too, because you can chew it as often as you like. It's light, yet it's tasty and satisfying. So when you're during your shopping, remember to include a few packages of healthful, delicious Wrigley spearmint chewing gum. It's so inexpensive you can treat your whole family often, and at very little The makers of Wrigley spearmint chewing gum invite you to listen next week at this time when Luigi Vasco writes another letter to his mama Vasco in Italy. Life with Luigi is a Psy Howard production. Mac Benhoff writes the script with Lou Dermott. J. Carol Ash is starred as Luigi Vasco with Alan Leedis-Basquale, Jody Gilbert is Rosa, Hobbs crime reader Schultz, Mary Ship is Miss Balding, Joe Forte is Horowitz and Ken Feathers is Olson. Music is directed by Lug Rustin. Bob Stevenson speaking with the CBS Columbia Broadcasting System.