 Have you ever wanted to have more conscious control over your life? Imagine having this continuous feeling of empowerment that you you can consciously choose how to respond instead of Being at the effect of life circumstances or or even your personality traits. So that's what we're gonna talk about in today's video Hi, I'm George cow and I'm with one of my clients Moitra Henigman. Hi Moitra Hi George, great to be here. Yeah, so I'm gonna read out your bio So that the audience can know a bit about your background and then we'll get going with we're gonna share with us today about Having more empowerment over our life. So All right, let me find your bio here Moitra is a mindset coach and a speaker who is passionate about helping people live a more conscious Empowered life and find more fulfillment in their work and in their relationships Most of all with themselves She draws on her knowledge of NLP, which stands for neuro linguistic programming as well as a voice dialogue and The psychology of selves and the aware ego So that's something Moitra you might have to explain it later to empower her clients to being into being conscious Pro creators of the life that they love So Moitra, I would just love to have you start with whatever idea you want to share with us This is a work that you you love doing and I'm just excited for for the audience to find out more about it Yes, thanks George for that lovely introduction It's true. I'm very passionate helping my clients access more of their personal power and I find the the first step and the crucial step in that process is Self-awareness, so I really help my clients Raise their self-awareness because that gives them more choice and when we have choice Basically, we have more information to make better decisions and when we have choice. We have a sense of more control So we don't feel like we just this boat, you know in the stormy ocean thrown around and we have no control We actually can we can take charge of our internal state and as well as our results so Well, I find awareness self-awareness in particular so important and it comes sort of to mean on many levels It's the awareness of the outcome that we want and that can be a long-term outcome You know sort of where does a reaction want our lives to go but also moment to moment? How do you want to be? How do we want to be in every moment, right? So that's first awareness of that I find is very important because then it can be intentional in our actions in our thoughts And and how we manage our state I'll explain what it is in a minute and then also being aware I find it's very important to be aware of our internal landscape as I call it so what Sort of what are the different parts of us? And that touches on the what you mentioned in my bio the voice dialogue and psychology of cells Which understands a person's psyche as Consisting of these many parts of voices so Just to illustrate that I'm sure everyone has experienced a situation where they may have been a bit Conflicted or had had had a tough time making a decision There was perhaps one one part saying oh, I really want to do this and then another one Oh, but did you consider that or ooh, but I'm afraid or ooh, but it's not safe so so many different aspects right many different voices sort of say in one situation is um It's basically what we are all made of I think our psyche and understanding that Helps us to not be taken over by any one of these parts for example fear Right by being aware that we have those almost available to us because there's never just fear. There's always You know sort of more empowering cells as well like confidence or courage or Creativity right and at the same time there may be I don't know, you know Perfectionist or in a critic etc, right? So there's like almost this dance of different cells and Awareness I find brings that sense of power That we are in the center we're in the central position and that is what is called the aware ego in this Terminology, but I like to just call it a central place of awareness Where you are aware of all those cells that you have that are having their input Right in your life and you can listen to each one of them, but you don't have to sort of You know allow any one of them to take full control It's like you're driving a car. Let's make a car a metaphor for our life, right? You are in the driver's seat You have all these passengers and they can have their say and they have their input and they can say oh I would like to go this way or that way, but you don't allow any of them to take over the wheel You are in the driver's seat and I find that's that's the really empowering way of how awareness can can help us feel more empowered but then it goes even so when it is the first one and in So one point. Yeah, so this is one way of awareness giving us power and then also Knowing that whilst in a situation perhaps in the situation. We're not that happy about maybe we're Anxious about something or maybe we've been procrastinating I mean we feel conflicted and we feel are and perhaps an inner critic may be really present Right in that in that context saying are you never do things, right? You never follow through all that negative barrage, right of comments that can be really deflating By having awareness, you know that at the same moment you have a whole other wealth of you know Energy is available to you. So whilst there is that perspective of in a critic that is not the whole truth That's not all of what you are who you are you you can know for sure that just as you know, there is a What that's that's laws of law of physics that is always a To every action there is the same an opposite Reaction or something along those lines. So it's the same in this In this understanding of Psychology of cells right that when you have one powerful force on one side, you can be sure there is an equally strong opposing force on the other so And you get to choose how much of each you bring into your response So just very practically right if you have the inner critic So let's say you engage in some sort of challenging project and the inner critic's nature is just to criticize and you know, it's It's not all bad in itself, but when it's out of control So these cells develop at a time of our lives when they were needed or just because that was the example Right that they had so if when we were growing up We may have been exposed to a lot of criticism or maybe it wasn't safe to make mistakes Then the critic is there basically as a acting as a pre-emptive strike. So criticizing us first so any other criticism wouldn't touch us in the same way or Warning us about everything that might go wrong So we really make sure we do things perfectly and in a critic often teams together with the inner perfectionist So so we do everything perfectly, you know, otherwise we may make a mistake and and be criticized and that would be painful Right. So there is this protective Protective intention or function of each of this part But the way it goes about this protecting can be quite difficult to to live with isn't it so through this process of expanding our awareness of these cells and The voice dialogue that I mentioned is actually speaking to these cells specifically finding out more about them and through that process we Sort of we take their edge off a little bit They usually just want to be heard because they're parts of us and they want to contribute to our life And and the more we give them sort of this airtime and realize that we are not them that they are, you know one perspective and the more we are able to balance that out and So I was talking about a specific example wasn't like if you engage in a project and the inner critic has a lot of Input say, you know pointing out everything that could go wrong You could say instead of just believing that oh my god Yeah, all of that could go wrong and be completely in you know allowing the critic to completely take over You can you know take on a more powerful sort of the central where position and say, okay, I hear you critic I appreciate your input. Yeah, you're pointing out all the potential dangers and I'm really grateful for that. Thank you however Is it true is everything that you're saying true for example if the critic is saying You never follow through with anything, right? For example, so why would this be any different? It's better if you don't even start if you examine so one way the challenges would be to ask Okay, do I really is that true? Is that really true and I would bet you if you look at the you know at your life at the evidence You would find an instance probably several where you did follow through So you can see like okay? Actually, no, it's not true and also another way to challenge it. Is it constructive? Is this serving me believing this critic fully and Actually, well if I believe this I would not make any move on my project that is really important to me So no, it's not constructive. Okay whilst I appreciate you critic and I will bear your comments in mind I choose to I don't know bring more courage for example into my into my response, you know And you bring actively bring courage in and one. Yeah, so I find that's one of the The ways to challenge and to move forward in a more balanced and empowered way Yeah, that's that's really helpful because I know a lot of those watching this are I mean I you talked about the creative project and kind of following through I mean a lot of a lot of us here are working on creating an authentic business and that that takes a lot of Follow-through and it also tends to draw a lot of the inner critic We're afraid of other people criticizing us, but we also have this critic inside ourselves, which is a lot to deal with So how do you? Let's start talking about how you how do you work with clients? How do you like to work with clients to? Help them move forward and kind of get unstuck in these ways Yeah, so I love helping clients deal with self sabotage, but in a context of What they want to create so it's usually with it It's always a focus of what's the outcome right so clients often come to me with them They want more confidence in you know, whichever area. I'm very passionate helping people in their career Because that's one area that I was quite stuck in and I'm just I just it makes me glow to see people You know be more fulfilled in their career and Also, I know that dealing with you know, either confidence or whichever Aspect in one life area will impact other life areas because we are one person, right? I see the life like holistic We have more holistic viewpoint So how I help them is identify what they really gain clarity on what they really want Often I find my clients come to me quite stuck and sort of I'm not sure what direction I'm supposed to take There's so many options and I don't know what can I create so it's from that point of confusion sometimes and all It's also quite confusing when you are in the self sabotage in pattern It's like I wanted you so much, but I just don't get to do it. I don't know what's happening It's like this invisible blocks and they're like, please help me It's like I need I need help too because we it's the hardest to see your own blind spots, isn't it? So what I do is help them gain clarity I'm Clarity is quite closely connected for me with awareness really so it's clarity or awareness around what they want Awareness so what's standing in between so? That's more of a on a on a macro level. So Yeah, it sells sabotage and then more micro level Specifically in a situation when you want to do something and you don't what's happening What's the inner talk? What's the mental images because that's what our subconscious mind really responds to and We really want to have our subconscious mind on board supporting us in what we do Because otherwise it will hold us back and the primary function of our subconscious mind is to keep us safe Right to protect us and anything that isn't Familiar to us yet is deemed unsafe So by our subconscious so it's about practicing. It's about You know looking at things differently to see that Yeah, there is another way of how different to how we were doing things so far being flexible, right? flexibility is a big is very big in NLP, which I love is Yeah, if something isn't working be flexible and try something else and observe the results So having that same of experimentation is very important To make progress in life, especially when you're feeling stuck, right? and then I help a big part of what I do is help clients feel not sorry not feel build this sense of confidence or Yeah, this sense of power that they can change things. So first is getting clarity. What do I really want? You know allowing them themselves to dream What would their you know ideal outcome really be like and what kind of person will they ideally want to be most of the time in their life? And then yeah, then build confidence to okay, that's really possible Wow, I can actually you know believing in themselves. They can actually do do that and that's by Helping them see how much they really have available to them sort of internal resources and I do that a lot with state management That's the NLP tool where we Yeah, where we connect a specific Trigger either a word a gesture a physical point of the body or anything like that That with a specific state and states in NLP terms is basically a state of mind and body Or a feeling even yeah a feeling in more common sense So how to so a state of confidence for example would be when you feel confident just for just for yeah understanding So I would help clients develop that confidence to feel it's really possible for them to achieve what they would like and Then it's about mapping things out really create Action step sort of you know, how will I get to where I want to be? Helping them break things down because it can feel so challenging You know that big dream that's you know that they have or even Perhaps not a big dream, but just like something that seems impossible out like wow feeling confident in that you know group situation speaking my mind feels impossible, so Turning that into small enough steps so they feel doable and you know and chewable and then inevitably along the way Different obstacles crop up that you know, we couldn't envisage before and then dealing with those in the process to get them Yeah, that's wonderful. So you are Their cheerleader you are their coach You are somebody that they can they can trust to Share some kind of the help troubleshoot essentially what what's what's going on. So wonderful Well, if anybody watching this would like to inquire With you Moita, I want to make sure I give you the website give them your website And also you're on Facebook and Instagram as well. I'll put the links in the notes of the video, but just to Spell out the website. It's it's your name a moita hennigman.com mojca So that's your first name is called mojca H-e-n-i-g-m-a-n.com Moita Hennigman.com So Moita, thank you so much for sharing with us today I hope those watching have enjoyed this you may even want to rewatch this to kind of get some of the nuances You may have missed the first time Anything else you want to share as we kind of complete the call Anything of Yeah, just if people want, you know, if anyone wants more information check out my website Just like you said or get in touch, you know, I love speaking to people Directly as well and and you know get your perspectives and perhaps what what may you know The viewers be struggling with and if they're happy to share discuss it. I'm yeah, I'm happy to discuss that And I also will be I'm planning to have a workshop series coming up in the end of next month about moving from self-sabotage to self-confidence and there will be a few series and the first one will focus on Reforming your inner critic. So and these are gonna be online online workshops So that's you should also mention that you work with people all over the world So people can you work with people through through zoom just like this So all right. Well, thank you so much for being here and for sharing with us today. Thank you George. Thanks for having me