 the narcissist grooming process. The narcissist prepares or trains you for a particular purpose or activity. They make you ready for use or ready or able to do something by teaching you a particular skill or type of behavior through sustained practice and instruction. The grooming process is the actual application or use of the idea, belief or method. The habitual or expected procedure or way of doing something. This is ordered or instructed by the narcissist. The grooming process consists of a series of actions deliberately taken by the narcissist consciously and intentionally in a predatory and calculated way. It is intended to put you in a more dependent and isolated position. It is designed to make you rely or fixate on the narcissist while you have limited or no contact with other people. It is done by creating a false report or a false connection with you. This is to make you less self-conscious and more able to act in a relaxed and natural way around them. It makes you more vulnerable around them and more vulnerable to accept an abuse later on in the relationship. The grooming process prepares or trains you for these particular abusive purposes or activities where you become less anxious and shocked as a result of exposure, as a result of having no protection, barrier or defense from something harmful. It is a process that diminishes emotional responsiveness to a negative or positive stimulus after repeated exposure to it. Over time your natural emotional response to these abusive purposes or activities is diminished when the action tendency that is associated with the emotion proves to be irrelevant or unnecessary. This has a significant influence on your behaviour or on the manner or outcome of something which makes you more readily available to do what they want. It is a process which persuades you to do something without direct mention or exposition of a subject. Without a comprehensive description and explanation of a theory, the narcissist grooms you by creating circumstances or factors which influence and affect your behaviour or the potential outcome of something. They do this by use of positive and negative reinforcements. When you are doing something which aligns with their desire or motive for you, they will use positive reinforcement. An example of this can be praise, sympathy, approval, money, gifts, a laugh or smile. When you are doing something which deviates from their desire or motive for you, they will use negative reinforcement. An example of this can be nagging, yelling, silent treatment, intimidation, threats, making you feel guilty and playing the victim. They can also use intermittent or partial reinforcement which creates insunity and fear. This makes you feel unsuitable and fearful about the potential consequences of you deviating from what the narcissist has intended for you. Intermittent or partial reinforcement can encourage you to persist and continue on course due to uncertainties and fear of difficulty or opposition. If you deviate or depart from the established course, the narcissist will respond with some form of punishment. This trains you to follow what they have intended for you in the hopes of receiving positive reinforcement rather than negative reinforcement. The narcissist will often use verbal abuse, explosive anger or rage and other intimidating behavior to establish dominance or superiority. One incident of such behavior can be enough to condition or train a victim to avoid upsetting, confronting or contradicting the abuser. Over time this behavior becomes normalized and the victim is less shocked or anxious as a result of having no protection, barrier or defense from something harmful. The grooming process begins by the narcissist forming an estimate or rough judgment of your vulnerability, need for affection, attention or emotional support, isolation and low self-esteem. The narcissist then gains your trust by watching and gathering information about you, getting to know your needs and how to fulfill them. By fulfilling your needs they are then able to have more significance and importance in your life and may become idealized. They then use this developing relationship to create situations where they are alone with you. This isolation further reinforces this connection. They will often try to create a sense that you are loved or appreciated in a way that no one else can provide. Once they have gained sufficient emotional dependence and trust they begin to exploit you, they begin to make full use of or derive benefit from you in a way that would be considered unfair or underhanded. Once they have begun exploiting you they will maintain control by using secrecy and blame to maintain your continued participation and a code of silence. They have to do this because the exploitation would otherwise cause you to withdraw from the relationship. You can become involved in difficulties or complicated circumstances with them from which it is difficult to escape. You may often confront threats to blame you to end the relationship and to end the emotional and material needs that you associate with the relationship. You may fear that the loss of the relationship and the consequences of exposing it will humiliate you and cause you to feel even more unwanted. You may often feel guilty or shameful after the relationship. As you brushed aside or shrugged off the narcissist's behavior you lived in that lie with a narcissist and ignored your own intuition. Naturally this may cause you to feel guilty or shameful after the relationship is over. While you were with them they forced you into creating a different response. Responding to their abusive behaviors in a relaxed or unnatural way they trained you into seeing abusive behaviors as an act of care or love or something that should be considered normal or acceptable. They changed what you knew to be true into a false representation of a particular situation or process in such a way as to reflect or conform to a set of aims or values. They did this to make you compliant, to make you inclined or willing to agree, to obey their rules often to an excessive degree. They changed what you knew to be true into a false narrative to get you to do what they want. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you would like to donate my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries you can email me at narksforevercoaching.com. 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