 I'm going to be looking in Genesis chapter 2 and I'm giving you what would be just a foundational study, an intro to Christian marriage. And so we're going to begin reading here in chapter 2 at verse 18, reading to verse 25. That'll be a foundation. We'll be moving back to Ephesians and picking up in Ephesians next time we're together. But I wanted to lay a foundation. And so Genesis chapter 2 beginning at verse 18, the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him. Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them and whatever Adam called each living creature. That was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle to the birds of the air and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam and he slept and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man he made into a woman and he brought her to the man. And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked the man and his wife and were not ashamed. So the pastors there visiting a fourth grade Sunday school class and he's going to talk to the class about marriage. And so he asks the class, what does God say about marriage? And a little boy replied, Father forgive them they know not what they do. And so we're going to be looking at the subject of marriage and the family. I obviously begin this realizing that there are widowed and divorced members present with us though be some who have watched this or will watch this. We have a number of single parents as well as singles have never been married. And so I don't want you to feel any less. I don't want to be insensitive to you. And I pray that the series is going to be able to be beneficial to all of us. But the fact is, it's been a number of years since I've done a marriage series. So let me begin by saying marriage as an institution as throughout the world been redefined. Many have rejected the once accepted concept of what one time had been referred to as a traditional family. They consider such a concept to be outdated, it's unreasonable and for many it's unworkable. Now at one time there was a definition of a traditional family that was accepted by the majority. A traditional family had been defined as a man and a woman who were legally married to one another who often had children born to them. It consisted of a bread winning father, a stay at home mother who would care for the home and the children that were born to them after marriage. But in our day the definition of marriage and family has changed. Today's culture has a new definition and the definition does not require marriage. For many to be a family only requires people caring about one another and living together under the same roof. To be a family doesn't require marriage but exists because they say they're a family. Same sex unions are insistently presented as equal to heterosexual relationships and this arrangement has gained the backing of psychology as well as courts of law. Legalized homosexual marriage exists in many parts of the world including the United States. And what has occurred is the redefinition of marriage, reducing it to really simply a civil matter. It's presented as the same to the male and female in terms of just living together to male and female marriage relationship and homosexual marriage itself has been placed on the same level, the same plane if you will. So many will say that homosexual marriage is legitimate, it's proper, it's equal to heterosexual marriage and that's in spite of the fact that homosexuals as a group have significantly higher levels of promiscuity of suicide of domestic violence and relational instability compared to heterosexual relationships. Today many find it preferable to live together without a ceremony or without a contract according to the 2020 census 18 million Americans are living together. Human life international reports that 60% entering first marriages in the United States are already living together. The Pew Research Center says that cohabitors ages 50 and older represent about a quarter 23% of all cohabiting adults in 2016. Since 2007 the number of people living together ages 50 and older grew by 75%. Now this is also found to be true among some who profess to be Christians. Again Pew Research says in 2019 58% of white evangelicals said cohabitation is acceptable if the couple plans to marry. Views on cohabitation become noticeably less Christian among younger respondents. There are those who will say well you need to live together living together is like a test drive it should be done before you're committing. One study found that 40% of women living with significant others for the first time between 2006 and 2010 transitioned to marriage within three years. 32% of those relationships remained the same and 27% were dissolved. You see without fully realizing it by living together they are sinning against the Lord. In the Old Testament book of Malachi chapter 2 verse 11 that verse refers to marriage as God's holy institution. This reveals that marriage is God's idea and his design and is regarded as holy. In Malachi 2 verses 14 and 15 those verses speak of marriage as a covenant not as a legal contract. And when I looked up what a covenant is under biblical definition a covenant is a solemn agreement in which each party bound themselves to fulfill certain conditions with God being the principal witness. You see some don't understand this and so what they do is they enter into marriage improperly casually and even just just flat out wrong and some of you may be aware of this. Four years ago a Japanese man named Akiiko Kondo married a fictional computer synthesized pop singer called Hatsune Miku but he says that they're now having struggles to connect. It's true. I didn't make that up. It's true. It gets worse. As an Irish woman Wilhelmina Kellan who has been married to her dog Henry for eight years. A Hindu woman married her cobra. A Chinese man married himself and a woman married the Eiffel Tower. And so we can see where marriage is in the mind of many people. It's not taken seriously. It's not regarded for what it is yet. God says it's a holy covenant. God said it's a sacred arrangement but the world doesn't see it that way. You see the New Testament reveals marriage as a picture of Jesus and the bride his church. So it's a spiritual union. It's not to be regarded as anything but sacred. So living together and sexual activity outside of marriage is improper as a sin and in scriptures refer to as a as fornication. You see if the person is sexually involved or is living with someone who is married to another person even if they're separated it's adultery. Hebrews 13 verse 4 says marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. We saw in Ephesians 5 verses 5 and 6 how Paul said for this you know that no fornicator, unclean person nor covetous man who was an idolater as any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. He went on to say let no one deceive you with empty words for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. God takes it very seriously and so we wanted to spend time looking at marriage and doing so from a Christian perspective and so I begin with a simple definition of a Christian marriage very simple very basic definition. A Christian marriage is a total commitment of one man and one woman to the person of Jesus Christ and to one another. It is a commitment in which there is no holding back of anything. It's been said that marriage is God's refining process as he develops us into the person he desires us to be like Proverbs 27 17 says as iron sharpens iron so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. So marriage is something that is God's creation. When you read your Bible from Genesis chapter 1 to Genesis chapter 9 there are three basic institutions that that civilization is built on that are established. One of the institutions obviously is marriage in Genesis 2 18 it says the Lord God said it's not good that man should be alone I will make him my helper comparable to him. So this institution that is intended for the welfare of the society to actually create a society the first building block of that is marriage. The church is seen in Genesis 3 15 and and you read the words that are spoken to the serpent how the Lord said I will put enmity between you and the woman and between your seed and her seed speaking of Christ he shall bruise your head and you shall bruise his seal that took place on the cross. Then the third institution is human government we see that in Genesis chapter 9 verse 6 where it says whoever sheds human blood by humans shall their blood be shed for in the image of God has God made mankind that's the institution of what is called civil law safeguarding people from violence especially from murder man has been made in God's image he's different from animal life and he's of a higher nature and you see that in scripture well we're going to look at marriage and we're going to look at marriage from a Christian perspective. So we begin at verse 18 here in chapter 2 and it reads the Lord God said it is not good that man should be alone I will make him a helper comparable to him so one this first reveals to us that God is the one who created marriage notice how it says the Lord God said I will make him a helper so that reveals that man was created first and that establishes the pattern of marital marital authority in 1 Corinthians 11 verse 3 Paul said it like this he said I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ the head of woman is man the head of Christ is God this is a picture of authority how things are to be done in order for things to be able to be done properly so when it says man is the head of woman it speaks of authority and it speaks of his authority in the home by virtue of priority of creation it's not a distinction based on value it's not a distinction based on abilities intellect or spirituality it's based on interdependent roles for order in a home as well as order in a society for proper social order husbands are to provide leadership in the home and we'll look at that when we look at the role of the husband but he also says in verse 18 that eve is a helper notice a helper comparable to him that speaks of someone who corresponds to his moral and intellectual nature it is one who supplies what he needs it's a counterpart of his being comparable speaks of one that is similar to him and is literally his reflected image eve was his counterpart suitable in nature and one like himself in shape and disposition eve was one in whom he saw his own image and he recognized as his counterpart it's been said she was his second self she corresponded to his moral and his intellectual nature and so woman is not the same thing as man i'm hoping the supreme court justice hears that woman is not the same thing as man but provides help because she shares his nature and that's why a dog can't be man's best friend we call him that but they're not and if you really think he's your best friend open the door and see what he does now the first thing that is ever called not good is found in the scripture it is not good that man should be alone so that emphasizes a man's need for a companion one that is of the same nature as himself now remember there are angels and there's the world of animal life but the angels animal life wasn't enough for Adam needed someone like himself and without eve he was truly alone and incomplete Adam needed another human being to enjoy social relationships and even create them he needed to give love to someone like himself she was a match for him she was at his side she was made fit for him corresponded to him she was formed from him and was to be a perfect resemblance of the man she possessed neither inferiority nor superiority but she was in all things like and equal to him eve was not less eve was not better eve was just different and every husband says amen corresponding to his exact need and as such she was treated with love she was treated with respect she was cherished and she was cared for now by design our mates are are intended to fill our gaps our mates are intended to complete us you may be a person who is habitually late you'll be the last person up in the rapture you are habitually late but have you noticed that very often those who are always have one more thing to do one last thing to do before they climb in the car have you ever noticed that very often they're married to a very punctual person that's very interesting but that's that's often true or you may be somebody who's very fastidious very clean everything has their place and you marry somebody who's a slob who is really really messy you may be a person who's very very quiet you've got a very quiet personality and and you like it that way but you marry somebody who is very loud and all and that happens all the time you may be somebody who's very very very cheerful but you marry a grouchy person you know do you ever wake up grumpy i used to but now she just sleeps in and then you may be somebody who's kind of lazy and you marry somebody who's always wanting to take a walk you may be an optimist and you ended up with a pessimist you may be very creative you like something new and fresh and you married somebody who's very static like things exactly the same way you may be somebody who's got a very volatile personality you ended up marrying somebody who's very quiet and even like my dad my mom my dad was very very quiet my mom made up for him and his quietness and and see that's just the fact and and and it seems that like like we we have these gaps that that person feels for us and it's not by our design necessarily it's not like we're so aware of our own selves the fact is oftentimes we're not but the ones that we enjoy being with are the ones that make us feel whole who helped to fill in those gaps and my wife Marie feels in mind my wife has made me into a better man but it's not by trying to you see when my mom my mom my mom thought that she needed to teach Marie about what it means to be my wife that was part of my mom's role in her mind so she told Marie one time and Marie doesn't keep anything from me so she told Marie one time I was at work and Marie was talking to my mom and and this is when we were first married and my mom said no honey you need to understand it's your job to raise your husband oh no no my mom didn't do a good job and Marie's not gonna succeed it doesn't work that way and every husband understands what I just said you know we have are you gonna wear that you know they have these ideas for us like I usually what's wrong with this well you know brown and blue don't go together and oh eventually anyway I used to dress myself but in marriage I was a project in marriage we learn from one another we conform to one another and we learn to accept one another and and we form one another into a different person as we adjust to one another every married couple knows this you enter into your marriage with certain attitude you're just fine you don't need to change but you married somebody that person you married has their way of doing things and so at first you might have argued a little bit you know trying to see who's boss here who's going to run the show or whatever that's what happens it's that iron sharpening iron iron you get to the point of realizing that not everything's worth a fight compromises and a bad thing in a relationship you begin to learn those things and and what happens over time is you begin to adjust to that person's personality in such a way that yours begins to conform a bit to theirs but they do the same with you and the two who were separate at one time are slowly but surely becoming the one and so they don't say and David and Marie so much as the result is because the two became one we joined in Christ in marriage and we're completing one another and that's how it works we were adjusting to one another I would be an entirely different person and those of you who are married right now in the room you would be entirely different than you are right now if you had married somebody different you'd be different because you adjusted when my mom when my father died and my mom found herself alone one of the things that the Lord spoke to my heart about her and her adjustment was that she had spent 54 years of her life being married to this one man my mom I had met my my dad when when she was 16 my dad was 20 my dad had gotten out of the navy he was at a dance in east LA because my mom lived in Montabello my father grew up in norwalk my mom was there my mom was a very light-skinned Mexican woman very light-skinned her mother was uh was Spanish and so my mom had real light-skinned and so my dad saw my mom and my dad said to his friend in Spanish thinking that she didn't speak Spanish my dad said in Spanish to his friend something like hey I'd like to like to dance with that that cutie over there so my mom says that she turned to my dad in Spanish and said then why don't you ask me and she said my dad got all trippy on that because he said he says you speak Spanish turns out she's Mexican and he didn't know that and all and so they got together and my dad and my mom formed what we would call I I I eventually called it they formed a dance my mom and dad had a dance and and Marie and I have our dance you have yours it's the steps that you've learned with one another you have yours you're you're brushing your teeth in the morning getting ready to go and your wife walks in and she gets why I don't know why she gets in front of you and and she has to put the toothpaste but you don't say anything you just take a step back she steps in she does it she steps back you you've got to dance you just don't even know it and that is something you don't even talk about anymore and your life becomes that it becomes that you finish one another sentence it's not because that person's boring but because you already know where they're going and sometimes people thought oh don't you you know can't you think for yourself how come you let it's it's not that it's the way we communicate it's just us we've developed that that's who we are everybody has their dance everybody has their steps everybody who's been married for a while has learned that some things matter and some things don't the things that do matter are the things we hash out the things that don't matter are the things we compromise and work out because we Marie and I a long time ago decided that the two are better together than a part so we chose us we chose us it's us it's the Rosalina says it's us we are one and that's what marriage is supposed to be you see the rabbis taught that the wife wasn't a man's shadow so much as his other self they taught that she is his helper in a sense which no other creature on earth can be you see God had already spoken to Adam God had fellowship with Adam notice verses 16 and 17 here in Genesis chapter 2 where it says the Lord God commanded the man saying of every tree of the garden you may freely eat but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat for in the day that yeet of it you shall surely die man already had communication and fellowship with God that's been established but man needs another human being to relate to to share with to have as an equal Adam needed another person someone he could share his feelings with somebody who would be part of his life Ecclesiastes 4 9 through 11 says it like this two are better than one because they have a good return for their work if one falls down his friend can help him up but pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up also if two lie down together they will keep warm but how can one keep warm alone so the Lord God says in verse 18 it's not good that the man should be alone and so he says I'm going to make him a helper and that gives us a very basic insight you can have a great relationship with God but it's still okay to desire marriage we're we're creative for fellowship with God but we're also created for fellowship with other people and marriage is intended to fulfill our need to love others and be loved by another human being now marriage again is God's creation it's not man's invention it's God who said it's not good that the man should be alone it's God who said I will make him a helper so God intended marriage to bring joy and satisfaction to those who were married proverbs 18 22 says it like this he who finds a why finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord I remember one man who said I never knew what true joy was until I got married then it was too late that's mean but I like it in verse 19 out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field every bird of the air brought them to Adam to see what he would call them whatever Adam called each living creature that was its name Adam gave names to all cattle to the birds of the air to every beast of the field but for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him Adam was created first out of the earth but Eve was taken out of the man in 1st Corinthians 11 8 and 9 it says man is not from woman but woman is from man nor was man created for the woman but woman for the man now Genesis 1 27 informed us that God created man in his own image created speaks of the fact that man didn't evolve from something else created speaks of man being brand new he differed from other animal life not only in degree but in kind but in species so Adam was created in the image of God Adam was created in God's moral image not a physical image again Adam was created with certain attributes like knowledge and righteousness and holiness those are all moral attributes according to chapter 1 verse 24 animals were created first and then Adam but you have in verse 19 of chapter 2 what I refer to as a parade of animals they they passed before him in pairs and so that highlights the fact that he's without a companion and so as this takes place verse 21 says and the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam and he slept and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place and so God caused him to sleep ensuring that he would feel no pain that came after marriage and the rib was made into a woman that word made speaks of being fashioned or built she was made fashion she was built and brought to Adam she wasn't taken from the dirt she was taken from his side she was genetically and perfectly harmonious to him now she was taken from his side she does not govern nor does he she usurp authority of him nor is she his slave nor his servant but she is his companion and is to be treated with kindness respect and love when I was doing a men's conference recently after I after I taught one of the attendees of this conference in another state approached me and began to ask me questions and started to complain to me about his wife and his marriage and we had an interesting conversation for a while and I mentioned to him I said you know you you're called by Jesus to serve your wife and he got up tight he got very upset I'm not subservient to her and uh and I'm not her servant I said yes you are and that's where your problem is I said because the greatest in the kingdom is the servant of all and God has called us to serve together with and to serve our wives out of love by cherishing and appreciating her and in the fact that you're not doing that you're demonstrating that you're not you're not married to her in the way that Christ would have you to be married to her there are men who don't understand that they think that their job is to boss their wife around but we have been called by God to love and to serve not to compromise but to have that biblical authority to love our wives and in doing so I discovered this a long time ago that if I love my wife 100% she has a tendency of loving me 150% back it helps her to respond and so it's been said she was not made out of his head to surpass him nor from his feet to be trampled on but from his side to be equal to him and near his heart to be dear to him notice verse 21 how it says God caused Adam to enter a deep sleep now as difficult as it may be for some to hear this is the safest place for those who are unmarried asleep asleep to incessant and overwhelming desires to be married I want to point something out it's important to note that God knew Adam's need before Adam realized that he had a need in Matthew 6 verse 8 Jesus said your father knows what things you have need of before you ask and so we have unmarried people here and unmarried people who are going to hear this and and this portion as we're looking at it may not apply to you you see some are unmarried having no desire to be married they have what is called the gift of celibacy you see when my when my father went to heaven my mother never desired to remarry she remained unmarried until the day she went to heaven but there are others who have a strong desire for marriage so I'm going to give you some advice at this point for those who are unmarried I would say do not rush into dating relationships or marriage because ultimately it will cost you there is something worse than being unmarried and that's being married to the wrong person and if you're unmarried and desire marriage wait for God's best because at this time you're free to serve God without distraction you can go on a mission trip you can participate in conferences you can go to Israel and do things like that without interruptions serve the Lord but marriage brings responsibilities and it brings cares that the unmarried don't have in 1 Corinthians 733 it says he who's married cares about the things of the world how he may please his wife in 1 Corinthians 735 being unmarried makes it possible to serve the Lord Paul said without distraction single parents can have an especially difficult time because loneliness is is difficult but rushing into a bad marriage makes it worse even if it's through Zeus or elite or e harmony or Christian mingle if you're presently dating evaluate your present relationship if you desire to date ask yourself what are you looking for and be mature enough to establish criteria it's not unspiritual it's just wisely counting the cost and so I do this every time I teach an introduction I ask some questions of the single members of our fellowship and what these questions are intended to do is to help our singles to think about the relationships and so here we go let me give you a series of questions of questions first are you a Christian and are they a Christian how do you know that and you need to know that there is no such thing as missionary dating because there are people who say you know if I go out with her I can bring her to faith in Christ no in 2nd Corinthians 6 verse 14 do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness what communion has light with darkness what do you have in common with somebody who doesn't love Jesus if you claim that you do second if they are believers how would you honestly describe their walks with Jesus as you're going out with them you're going to learn how important their faith is because after marriage you may begin to grow in your faith and they may not want to I'll never forget a woman that I had I believe this is it's been 30 some years ago but I had performed her marriage for her she and her husband had claimed to be Christians but after she married him within a few months he told her you are no longer going to church you will now begin to worship me because I am your god so just because someone appears to have that Christian language and commitment and all it takes a while for you to actually discover those things don't rush in your relationships a third question is is your Christian faith and your walk with the Lord growing or are you slowly fading in your walk due to your relationship you were serving the Lord before you met this person maybe even while serving together but now being in church and being in Bible studies being serving in any way doing ministry is losing it's you're losing your interest in those things those things are no longer uniting you and now you're beginning to fade away and you don't even realize it so a fourth question do you ever read the word fellowship pray together and witness as a couple do your friends consider you a Christian couple or just a dating couple a fifth do you attend the same church if not are you willing to leave your church and does that matter to you at all a sixth question who is the spiritual leader if you can't make it to church do they go without you or do they just stay home seventh what about them do you like the most the looks the personality those things are great their spirituality the fact that they love the Lord what is it that most attracts you eighth are you physically pure are they pressuring you to be sexually active are you living together that's called fornication some people say no no we're engaged yeah in fornication a lot of times people have approached me and said i'd like you to meet my fiance which very often turns out they're living together that's a sin ninth do your family and friends feel good about your relationship what your mom say about them what your dad say your brother say you have a sister what she say yeah i'm i still remember this when marie met my mom for the first time my mom and dad i she had two roommates and they gave me a ride home from church for some reason i didn't have my car and they gave me a ride home from church and they came to my house and that's when marie met my mom but she wasn't she wasn't my girlfriend we weren't dating she she just came and visited with my mom with two of her friends and and when they drove away i was sitting at the dinner table with my mom and my mom looks at me and she says i'll never forget this though i like the little brown one so my mama fell in love with marie right away do you have to make excuses for them do you have to explain their behavior to other people because they say something off the wall and do something wrong and you find yourself constantly having to explain them to others sometimes your friends your family maybe even to strangers be careful with that a tenth thing do you feel forced to stay with them because you've been with them so long do you think well that's the best i can get might as well live with that is that how you're thinking right now that's not good 11th are they too dependent on you are they selfish are they jealous are they hot tempered you may be flattered at first but that's a way of controlling you and here's another question do they hit you do they look at your phone messages do they monitor your social media do they tell you who you can be friends with do you have to report to them you see there's a difference between a committed relationship and jealousy that is possessive and controlling be very careful with somebody has to control you it doesn't end it gets worse 12th do you have to ask them for permission to do things why 13th do they have children from a previous relationship or marriage can you love and accept their children as if they're your own will they let you love them if they don't have children do they want them can they have them have you discussed that because the further you go into relationship those questions matter 14th how do they treat other people how do they feel about your family and what do they say about your family when it's just you and them listen carefully to what they have to say how often do you see them do you call or text them after the date ends I mean you drop the person off you're driving home before you know what you look I'm thinking of you it's freaky are you thinking of me you know put your phone on the pillow so I can hear you breathe as you sleep creeps that's creepy 16 are you doing domestic duties for them you doing their wash and cooking for them playing house why 17 are they always borrowing money from you or your friends do they like nice things and charge up their cards to buy them do you end up paying for the dates and excuse it by saying we're getting married I remember you know going out with Marie one time she got mad I only spent ten dollars on the date that's all she had if she had if she had more I just spent more 18 what things do they do that irritate you don't plan on changing them you know I've done I used to do the premarital counseling and I would ask I would say to the husband to be also called victim and the bride to be I'd say everybody has habits that causes irritation to somebody else we all do so what is it about this person that you're going to change after you get married because when you're dating and stuff they're oh no they're perfect the guys always I don't remember a single guy ever saying anything about why didn't you change anything about her never did what would you do what do you think needs to change with her and the guy nothing no she's good she's good really not a single thing really no she's good she's good and so I'd say okay and you what are you going to change about him she pulls out this list don't plan on changing them don't plan on changing them usually when we're dating we're on our best behavior we like everything they like you like this food I like this food you like this place I like this place you like this music I like this music you like this I like that whatever you like I like and then you get married after you get married I hate that I hate that I wouldn't eat that happens so be aware of that you're not going to change them 19 how well do you really know them are they open-hearted are they moody how well do you know them how how deeply have you become aware of who they are 20th are they free to date listen if they are separated they're married if they're not free to marry you they are not free to date you there are people who I've met I've met them often we're going to get married after the divorce comes through what what oh yeah we're just waiting on the divorce you're involved with a married person you don't know that well you know what the love died no yeah the contract still has ink that hasn't dried you are still licensed and married and having a relationship when that person is is still married is improper I know that sounds old-fashioned but that's actually the truth if you can't marry them you can't date them they're not free and who knows that God might do a work in the heart of that person that you're interrupting because of your relationship if they're not free to date to marry they're not free to date keep that in mind very practical but be aware of that here's another one do they like do they like alcohol and do they use drugs that isn't going to change after you get married and finally is this really God's best for you or are you just older and anxious might as well you know that old biological clock is is is ticking my as well wait and pray for the Lord I've shared this all of you have heard probably and perhaps some haven't but I always say this when I when I was young all the way to my my 20s I I wanted to be married I wanted a wife I think I proposed to the nurse attending my birth and from there it got worse I mean I had girlfriends in in elementary school my first girlfriend her name was Bernadette Archuleta and she was my girlfriend when I was about four years old and I had a girlfriend Sandy Martinez and Becky Padilla and Linda Lane I mean I always had this desire for marriage from the time I was a kid and so you know when I got saved you know I thought well Jesus said that if you ask anything in my name I will do it and so I'd be in a Bible setting there'd be this little hippie chick and I'd say in Jesus name that one's that's mine that's mine I claim her in Jesus name you know and so I got tired of of of having that mindset and so my brother got saved and he needed a Bible study and so I started driving from Norwalk to to Ontario to teach him a study just my sister Madeline me and my brother and I prayed and I said to the Lord Jesus I said father I have a friend named George who said that he had prayed that even as Adam had been put to sleep to his desires and all he was literally asleep may I be put to sleep to my desire for marriage I make a lot of bad decisions I don't want to make a bad decision when it comes to to being married so Lord may I be placed to sleep to my desires I ask God would you please put me to sleep and so I was teaching a Bible study and as I was teaching this Bible study my brother began to invite friends from work and and one day and I still remember that day I was sitting at this one particular chair he had this very small little apartment the door opened up my brother walked in and he said to me David I'd like you to meet Marie and one second in one second my life was forever changed in one second one second I didn't know her the next second I haven't been without her and that's how it works and and so I told that story because I met her I spoke to her at the study she was a college girl she was getting a degree out of Cal Poly Pomona and um and she was kind of you know she wasn't safe but she said in there she's talking to me she first question she asked me is what's your sign you know and I said the fish and she says oh you're a Pisces I said I said that I don't go for that horoscope garbage I said the fish the ictus I'm a Christian I don't believe that's our first conversation and and she's but I'm talking to her and I get in the car and I'm driving home with my sister Madeleine and I say I just met the girl I'm gonna marry I just met the girl I'm gonna marry I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt no I did not ask her out three weeks later about three weeks later my sister Madeleine talked to Marie after a bible study and said do you want to come to faith in Christ and Marie gave her heart to Jesus and that was in my bible study and she has from the day she got saved until this moment right now been sitting under my ministry every day of her spiritual life and the Lord when I went to sleep to my desire he brought the woman to me I didn't have to go out you know Christian mingle or whatever I just I just said Jesus I'll make a bad decision I believe that you answer prayer and I asked that you would do this and that's how it worked for me now my my son Joseph approached me one time and he said dad he says I've got a real problem I need your advice and I said what is it son he said remember how you prayed and and the Lord brought mama I said yeah he said well I prayed that too dad I don't want to make a bad decision but my problem is this he said I met a girl that I really like and he started talking how beautiful she is and how sweet she is and she's got a servant's heart and I started smiling and laughing he says what I said there's a part of the story you don't know son he goes what is that I said I prayed that prayer but within two or three weeks I met your mom I said you may be thinking that you've got to be you know asleep for like rip fang winkel for 40 years I said it's not that way I it's it's just that you die when you die the Lord brings I said and so that girl turned out to be Karina his wife you know and and he did the same thing that I did prayed and sought the Lord and said I want to be asleep to my desire and the Lord graciously brought his wife as God brought mine to me and God presented Eve to Adam establishing the holiness and seriousness of marriage notice in verse 22 how it says that God brought Eve he presented her he was he was given to Adam and and and that was God's best gift to him Proverbs 1914 says houses and riches are in inheritance from fathers but a wise wife is from the Lord and so we need to be aware that that love is patient and waits and therefore we won't rush into marriage now as this took place verse 23 says Adam said this is now bone of my bones flesh of my flesh you shall be called woman because she was taken out of man you might find this interesting but when the words is now it literally speaks of the tapping of the foot it speaks of the tapping of the foot it's really musically keeping time what it means is he's saying this is actually a love song this these words that you see here this is now bone of my bones flesh my flesh you can almost hear him what whatever she shall be called woman he named her and completed the task of naming this is now bone of my bones at last it literally is saying at last at last something made just for me and he sang therefore verse 24 a man shall leave his father and mother be joined into his wife the two shall become one flesh that is Moses his addition he explains the purpose of marriage you leave your parents home and you create a new one and so with these words we see marriages to be permanent men are to leave and they're to cleave and that speaks of like you can use that as a picture of pieces of wood being sealed together with an adherent if you peel those pieces of wood apart from the inside it splinters you see God joined it together God made it one and when it is cleaved God hates it because he hates divorce and finally they were naked verse 25 that means obviously more than just nude they were innocent they were open emotionally open physically open spiritually shame entered into the world because of sin but it didn't exist before the fall someone said those who have no sin in their conscience might well have no shame in their faces though they have no clothes on their backs they were the perfect people in a perfect marriage it was what God had designed for them and it says it was good and then they had kids we'll look at that later on our father we bless you