 Some of the information that's coming out is saying that Nigeria has some of the highest paternity fraud rates. Whoa. Listen, people are ready for certain conversations. Listen, it's the message right here. Black boy, tell me how you really feel, because I just want to build with you. Black girl, tell me how you really feel. I want to keep it real with you. I want to live better, eat better. I want to love better, sleep better. Yeah. Let's take a break so you can ask me questions. Okay. So it's not just, let's go ahead and ask me questions. What's the dynamic of Africans in single motherhood and Nigerians specifically in single motherhood versus, you know, you guys coming up and married households to America, is it kind of like the same over there, or is it just like completely foreign? The concept of being a single mother is just foreign shamed. It's closer to foreign shamed. However, this is what I was saying, Nigerians watching this might not like this, but a lot of us grow up, and I can't even quantify this, but I can speak for myself. We grow up in situations where we might as well have been raised by a single mother, because our father's only contribution was financial. And what's funny, I think I'm coming to terms with this as I'm older and stuff like that. Like, if you spend enough time around me, you'll hear me a lot of times say, my mom would always say, dot, dot, dot, or my mom would always say, dot, dot, dot. I don't have any dot, dot, dots for my dad. Really? And what's funny is a lot of people beat me or come across me even on YouTube, they were like, man, he was probably put on game by like, you know what I'm saying? I'm black. And it's like, my dad was in my life kind of, like, lived in the same house, but like he wasn't an active, I taught myself how to throw a football. I taught myself how to tie a tie. I taught myself how to get girls. Like, the things that you would, the baton pass that you would expect from a father, a lot of us don't get that. You know, I could, you know, make the correlation with, you know, he probably didn't get that as well. I didn't, you know, maybe his personality type is not that. But what does happen in African households a lot, and I think you can make the argument, is it better, is it worse? People stay together for the appearance. You know, people, it is shamed. So people will just grit their teeth and white knuckle it. But if they weren't in a different environment yet, it would have been divorced or they wouldn't have been together in the first place. And like I said, I think you can make the argument that it's better for kids if they stay together. You could also make the argument, it's worse for kids if they stay together because now the child's paradigm of relationship and marriage in particular is one of two people who really don't like each other but are just staying together for responsibility or for the image. And I think that's why some people of our generation and even Gen Z who did grow up in two-parent households are not super enthusiastic about marriage because they've seen marriage and they're like, that's what I'm inspiring you. Right? So you have the part where like people have not seen it at all and then you had people see it and they're like, no, I don't want this bullshit. And I don't think we have enough of that conversation, but a lot of our culture, especially Nigerian culture is just image optic shame. Image optic shame. Yeah. I always. They'll use a lot of room for like corruption, don't you think like moral corruption? Like I'm sure there's going to be like a lot of cheating. Type in Nigeria on your search engine. Do you want to know corruption? Yeah. And what's funny is ironically, obviously it's known around the world that our government is corrupt, but ironically some of the information that's coming out is saying that Nigeria has some of the highest paternity fraud rates. Whoa. A lot. Listen, people have heard of any certain conversations Nigeria has amongst the highest globally paternity fraud rates. There was a story I told during another video of a guy who didn't find out his dad wasn't his actual biological father until he had migrated to the United States and was trying to get his siblings to the United States and his dad. But that happens a lot more often and sometimes shit goes to the grave. People never find out. And that's what pisses me off a lot of times when a lot of us as Nigerians, we come over here and we try to judge African-Americans on some like moral high ground place and I'm like, man, y'all tell it to me, tell it all the skeletons in your closet, all the shit you've been sweeping under the rug for generations. Just tell the truth. So yeah. Be transparent. That's not our strong suit. Transparency is not our strong suit. But it keeps the marriage right up. Well, that's the thing, right? And like I said, that's where the debate happens. Like, is just being married for a long time the goal or is having a quality marriage where you create something worth striving for to your children the goal? Because like we talk about a lot of times back in the day, people were married for a long time, but their kids were watching this like, I will nothing to do with this. This is what marriage is, right? And then now I think it's different too, because back in the day, at least you can say that, oh, we needed dad's income. But nowadays, you know? So unless it is like a higher thing, like they need to know the other half of themselves, my children do, I need help raising these humans. A lot of people aren't super enthusiastic about, you know, just the image. Well, there's a financial aspect to marriage too. Not the expert on this, but I would think that that would be worth it too. So maybe the marriage isn't always all it's cracked up to be. But I know you said that it's usually like the man is the paycheck. Is there or what would you say is the ratio of situations where women are contributing to because I have a sister of mine. She's also Nigerian and her parents are married. And I think she would kind of agree with a lot of your sentiments just from what she tells me about them. But I know that both of her parents are doctors. Her father is a physician and her mother is a psychologist, a psychiatrist. And like it looks good too on the outside, but then there's also like they have powerhouse together, you know, with what they're able to do for themselves and what they're able to do for their children. So what about that aspect of it? You know, maybe we don't like each other as much anymore, but yeah, we aren't struggling either, you know, and our kids aren't struggling. And that that looks good for the national average, too. If you think about it, I think from a black perspective, it's good. Right. I think, you know, it's just like I talk about black love. It's good. We need black unity. We need black togetherness. However, I would be naive if I didn't at least acknowledge the individual perspective. And as individuals, especially younger individuals, we're saying that if it's not good, I don't want it. Like if it's not good for me, I don't want it. Which, like I said, I think you could make both arguments. But back in the day, being together for 20 years was good enough. Today it's not. And we have to be honest about that. Today it's not. Being together for 20 years. Hmm. Because we're the first generation, or maybe not the first, but we're saying, if it's 20 miserable years, I don't want it. How do you get marriage to not be miserable? Like, how does it get to the point where it's miserable? Like, how do you get, how do you go from, I really like this person, that I really love this person, that I'm in love with this person, so I hate this person, but I'm staying with this person. Like, how does it get there, and why is that so common? I think it's for a bunch of reasons. But I always like to quote Patrice O'Neill. He said there's a difference between liking somebody and loving somebody. And like, the goal is to like somebody you love. Is that it's just, because it's easy to like somebody you don't love. It's difficult to love somebody you don't like. It's optimal if you like and love somebody at the same time. And I think that's what sustains it over like a long time, like y'all are friends, y'all know each other, y'all appreciate each other, there's patience, there's grace, there's... And I'm not saying any of this shit because I have mastered it. But just for your experience. Yeah, but anybody who's been like, intimate in intimate relations with me would tell or would say that, you know, I'm not necessarily expert at it. But it's something that I strive for. Because, yeah, and I think it's more difficult now because we have the illusion of so many options. You know, Instagram would tell you that it's a million sugar daddies. Because a million niggas in your DMs. It's a million women that are just as fine, just as smart, just as sweet and cooked just as well. The WAP is that much wappier. So you're like, yeah, I got to deal with you, you know what I'm saying? But I think at some point you realize that it's all an illusion.