 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Czech Criss London, UK. The Life and Adventures of Nicholas Nicolby by Charles Dickens. Authors' Preface This story was begun within a few months after the publication of the completed Pickwick papers. There were then a good many cheap Yorkshire schools in existence. There are very few now. Of the monstrous neglect of education in England, and the disregard of it by the state as a means of forming good or bad citizens, and miserable or happy men, private schools long afforded a notable example. Although any man who had proved his unfitness for any other occupation in life was free without examination or qualification to open a school anywhere, although preparation for the functions he undertook was required in the surgeon who assisted to bring a boy into the world, or might one day assist perhaps to send him out of it, in the chemist, the attorney, the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker, the whole round of crafts and trades the schoolmaster accepted. And although schoolmasters as a race were the blockheads and imposters who might naturally be expected to spring from such a state of things and to flourish in it, these Yorkshire schoolmasters were the lowest and most rotten round in the whole ladder, traders in the avarice, indifference or imbecility of parents, and the helplessness of children, and sordid, brutal men, to whom few considerate persons would have entrusted the board and lodging of a horse or a dog. They formed the worthy cornerstone of a structure which, for absurdity and a magnificent high-minded laissez à l'air neglect, has rarely been exceeded in the world. We hear sometimes of an action for damages against the unqualified medical practitioner who has deformed a broken limb in pretending to heal it. But what of the hundreds of thousands of minds that have been deformed forever by the incapable petty-foggers who have pretended to form them? I make mention of the race as of the Yorkshire schoolmasters in the past tense. Though it has not yet finally disappeared, it is dwindling daily. A long day's work remains to be done about us in the way of education, heaven knows, but great improvements and facilities towards the attainment of a good one have been furnished of late years. I cannot call to mind, now, how I came to hear about Yorkshire schools when I was a not very robust child sitting in by-places near Rochester Castle with a head full of partridge, strap, tom-pipes, and Sancho-Panza. But I know that my first impressions of them were picked up at that time and that they were somehow or other connected with a separated abscess that some boy had come home with in consequence of his Yorkshire guide, philosopher, and friend having ripped it open with an inky pen-knife. The impression made upon me, however made, never left me. I was always curious about Yorkshire schools, fell long afterwards and at sundry times into the way of hearing more about them, at last having an audience resolved to write about them. With that intent I went down into Yorkshire before I began this book in a very severe winter-time which is pretty faithfully described herein. As I wanted to see a schoolmaster or two and was forewarned that those gentlemen might in their modesty be shy of receiving a visit from the author of the Pickwick papers, I consulted with a professional friend who had a Yorkshire connection and with whom I concerted a pious fraud. He gave me some letters of introduction in the name I think of my travelling companion. They bore reference to a superstitious little boy who had been left with a widowed mother who didn't know what to do with him. The poor lady had thought as a means of thawing the tardy compassion of her relations in his behalf of sending him to a Yorkshire school. I was the poor lady's friend travelling that way, and if the recipient of the letter could inform me of a school in his neighbourhood the writer would be very much obliged. I went to several places in that part of the country where I understood the schools to be most plentifully sprinkled and had no occasion to deliver a letter until I came to a certain town which shall be nameless. The person to whom it was addressed was not at home but he came down at night through the snow to the inn where I was staying. It was after dinner and he needed little persuasion to sit down by the fire in a warm corner and take his share of the wine that was on the table. I'm afraid he's dead now. I recollect he was a jovial, ruddy, broad-faced man that we got acquainted directly and that we talked on all kinds of subjects except the school which he showed a great anxiety to avoid. Was there any large school near? I asked him, in reference to the letter. Oh, yes, he said. There was a pretty big one. Was it a good one, I asked. He said it was as good as another and that was all a matter of opinion. I felt a looking at the fire staring round the room and whistling a little. Am I reverting to some other topic that we'd been discussing he recovered immediately, but though I tried him again and again I never approached the question of the school even if he were in the middle of a laugh without observing that his countenance fell and that he became uncomfortable. At last when we had passed a couple of hours or so very agreeably he suddenly took up his hat and leaning over the table and looking me full in the face said in a low voice, Well, mister, we've been very pleasant together and I'll spack my mind to be. Did not let the widow send a little boy to Yannivar school masters while there's a hearse to hold in all London or a gutter to lie sleeping. I wouldn't mark ill words among my neighbors and I speak to be quiet like but I'm dumb if I can gank a bed and not telly for widow's sack to keep the little boy from all sack's gundrels while there's a hearse to hold in all London or a gutter to lie sleeping. Repeating these words with great heartiness and with a solemnity on his jolly face that made it look twice as large as before, he shook hands and went away. I never saw him afterwards but I sometimes imagine that I'd describe a faint reflection of him in John Browdy. In reference to these gentry I may hear quote a few words from the original preface to this book. It has afforded the author great amusement and satisfaction during the progress of this work to learn from country friends and from a variety of ludicrous statements concerning himself in provincial newspapers that more than one Yorkshire school master lays claim to being the original of Mr. Squeers. One worthy, he has reason to believe, has actually consulted authorities learned in the law as to his having good grounds on which to rest an action for libel. Another has meditated a journey to London for the express purpose of committing assault and battery on his traducer. A third perfectly remembers being waited on last January 12 month by two gentlemen, one of whom held him in conversation while the other took his likeness. And although Mr. Squeers has but one eye and he has two, and the published sketch does not resemble him, whoever he may be, in any other respect, still he and all his friends and neighbours know at once for whom it is meant because the character is so like him. While the author cannot but feel the full force of the compliment thus conveyed to him, he ventures to suggest that these contentions may arise from the fact that Mr. Squeers is the representative of a class and not of an individual. Where imposture, ignorance and brutal cupidity are the stocking trade of a small body of men, and one is described by these characteristics, all his fellows will recognise something belonging to themselves and each will have a misgiving that the portrait is his own. The author's object in calling public attention to the system will be very imperfectly fulfilled if he did not state now in his own person emphatically and earnestly that Mr. Squeers and his school are faint and feeble pictures of an existing reality, purposely subdued and kept down lest they should be deemed impossible. That there are upon record trials at law in which damages have been sought as a poor recompense for lasting agonies and disfigurements inflicted upon children by the treatment of the master in these places, involving such offensive and foul details of neglect, cruelty and disease as no writer of fiction would have the boldness to imagine. And that since he has been engaged upon these adventures he has received from private quarters far beyond the reach of suspicion or distrust accounts of atrocities in the perpetration of which upon neglected or repudiated children these schools have been the main instruments very far exceeding any that appear in these pages. This comprises all I need say on the subject, except that if I had seen occasion I had resolved to reprint a few of these details of legal proceedings from certain old newspapers. One other quotation from the same preface may serve to introduce a fact that my readers may think curious. To turn to a more pleasant subject it may be right to say that there are two characters in this book which are drawn from life. It is remarkable that what we call the world which is so very credulous in what professes to be true is most incredulous in what professes to be imaginary and that while every day in real life it will allow in one man no blemishes and in another no virtues it will seldom admit a very strongly marked character either good or bad in a fictitious narrative to be within the limits of probability. But those who take an interest in this tale will be glad to learn that the brothers cheerable live, that their liberal charity, their singleness of heart, their noble nature and their unbounded benevolence are no creations of the author's brain but are prompting every day and oftenist by stealth some munificent and generous deed in that town of which they are the pride and honour. If I were to attempt to sum up the thousands of letters from all sorts of people in all sorts of latitudes and climates which this unlucky paragraph brought down upon me I should get into an arithmetical difficulty from which I could not easily extricate myself. Suffice it to say that I believe the applications for loans, gifts and officers of profit that I have been requested to forward to the originals of the brothers cheerable with whom I never interchanged any communication in my life would have exhausted the combined patronage of all the Lord Chancellor's since the accession of the House of Brunswick and would have broken the rest of the Bank of England. The brothers are now dead. There is only one other point on which I would desire to offer a remark. If Nicholas be not always found to be blameless or agreeable he is not always intended to appear so. He is a young man of an impetuous temper and of little or no experience and I saw no reason why such a hero should be lifted out of nature. End of the author's preface. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Czech Cris, London, UK. Nicholas Nicolby by Charles Dickens Chapter 1 Introduces All the Rest There once lived in a sequestered part of the county of Devonshire one Mr. Godfrey Nicolby. A worthy gentleman who, taking it into his head rather late in life that he must get married and not being young enough or rich enough to aspire to the hand of a lady of fortune had wedded an old flame out of mere attachment who, in her turn, had taken him for the same reason. Thus two people who cannot afford to play cards for money sometimes sit down to a quiet game for love. Some ill-conditioned persons who sneer at the life matrimonial may perhaps suggest in this place that the good couple would be better likened to two principles in a sparring match who, when fortune is low and backers scarce will chivalrously set too for the mere pleasure of the buffeting. And in one respect indeed this comparison would hold good for as the adventurous pair of the fives court will afterwards send round a hat and trust to the bounty of the lookers on for the means of regaling themselves. So Mr. Godfrey Nicolby and his partner, the honeymoon being over, looked out wistfully into the world relying in no inconsiderable degree upon chance for the improvement of their means. Mr. Nicolby's income at the period of his marriage fluctuated between sixty and eighty pounds per annum. There are people enough in the world, heaven knows, and even in London where Mr. Nicolby dwelt in those days, but few complaints prevail of the population being scanty. It is extraordinary how long a man may look among the crowd without discovering the face of a friend, but it is no less true. Mr. Nicolby looked and looked till his eyes became sore as his heart, but no friend appeared. And when growing tired of the search he turned his eyes homeward while very little there to relieve his weary vision. A painter who was gazed too long upon some glaring colour refreshes his dazzle sight by looking upon a darker and more somber tint, but everything that met Mr. Nicolby's gaze wore so black and gloomy a hue that he would have been beyond description refreshed by the very reverse of the contrast. At length after five years when Mrs. Nicolby had presented her husband with a couple of sons and that embarrassed gentleman impressed with the necessity of making some provision for his family was seriously revolving in his mind a little commercial speculation of ensuring his life next quarter day and then falling from the top of the monument by accident. There came one morning by the general post a black-boarded letter to inform him how his uncle Mr. Ralph Nicolby was dead and had left him the bulk of his little property amounting in all to five thousand pounds sterling. As the deceased had taken no further notice of his nephew in his lifetime than sending to his eldest boy who had been christened after him on desperate speculation a silver spoon in a Morocco case which, as he had not too much to eat with it seemed a kind of satire upon his having been born without that useful article of plate in his mouth. Mr. Godfrey Nicolby could at first scarcely believe the tidings thus conveyed to him. On examination, however, they turned out to be strictly correct. The amiable old gentleman it seemed had intended to leave the hole to the Royal Humane Society and had indeed executed a will to that effect. But the institution, having been unfortunate enough a few months before to save the life of a poor relation to whom he paid a weekly allowance of three shillings and sixpence he had in a fit of very natural exasperation revoked the bequest in a codicil and left it all to Mr. Godfrey Nicolby with a special mention of his indignation not only against the society for saving the poor relation's life but against the poor relation also for allowing himself to be saved. With a portion of this property Mr. Godfrey Nicolby purchased a small farm near Dawlish in Devonshire wither he retired with his wife and two children to live upon the best interest he could get for the rest of his money and the little produce he could raise from his land. The two prospered so well together that when he died some fifteen years after this period and some five after his wife he was enabled to leave to his eldest son, Ralph three thousand pounds in cash and to his youngest son, Nicholas one thousand and the farm which was as small a landed estate as one would desire to see. These two brothers had been brought up together in a school at Exeter and being accustomed to go home once a week had often heard from their mother's lips long accounts of their father's sufferings in his days of poverty and of their deceased uncle's importance in his days of affluence which recitals produced a very different impression on the two for while the younger who was of a timid and retiring disposition gleaned from thence nothing but four warnings to shun the great world and attach himself to the quiet routine of a country life Ralph the elder deduced from the often repeated tale the two great morals that riches are the only true source of happiness and power and that it is lawful and just to compass their acquisition by all means short of felony and reasoned Ralph with himself if no good came of my uncle's money when he was alive a great deal of good came from it after he was dead in as much as my father has got it now and is saving it up for me which is a highly virtuous purpose and going back to the old gentleman good did come of it to him too for he had the pleasure of thinking of it all his life long and of being envied and courted by all his family besides and Ralph always wound up these mental soliloquies by arriving at the conclusion that there was nothing like money not confining himself to theory or permitting his faculties to rust even at that early age in mere abstract speculations this promising lad commenced usurer on a limited scale at school putting out at good interest a small capital of slate pencil and marbles and gradually extending his operations until they aspire to the copper coinage of this realm in which he speculated to considerable advantage nor did he trouble his borrowers with abstract calculations of figures or references to ready-reconers his simple rule of interest being all comprised in the one golden sentence two pence for every half penny which greatly simplified the accounts and which as a familiar precept more easily acquired and retained in the memory than any known rule of arithmetic cannot be too strongly recommended to the notice of capitalists both large and small and more especially of money brokers and bill-discounters indeed to do these gentlemen justice many of them are to this day in the frequent habit of adopting it with eminent success in like manner did young Ralph Nicolby avoid all those minute and intricate calculations of odd days which nobody who has worked sums in simple interest can fail to have found most embarrassing by establishing the one general rule that all sums of principle and interest should be paid on pocket-money day that is to say on Saturday and that whether alone were contracted on the Monday or on the Friday the amount of interest should be in both cases the same indeed he argued and with great show of reason that it ought to be rather more for one day than for five in as much as the borrower might in the former case be very fairly presumed to be in great extremity otherwise he would not borrow at all with such odds against him this fact is interesting as illustrating the secret connection and sympathy which always exist between great minds though master Ralph Nicolby was not at that time aware of it the class of gentlemen before alluded to proceed on just the same principle in all their transactions from what we have said of this young gentleman and the natural admiration the reader will immediately conceive of his character perhaps be inferred that he is to be the hero of the work which we shall presently begin to set this point at rest for once and for ever we hasten to un-deceive them and stride to its commencement on the death of his father Ralph Nicolby who had been some time before placed in a mercantile house in London applied himself passionately to his old pursuit of money-getting in which he speedily became so buried and absorbed that he quite forgot his brother for many years and if at times a recollection of his old play-fellow broke upon him through the haze in which he lived for gold conjures up a mist about a man more destructive of all his old senses and lulling to his feelings than the fumes of charcoal it brought along with it a companion thought that if they were intimate he would want to borrow money of him so Mr. Ralph Nicolby shrugged his shoulders and said things were better as they were as for Nicholas he lived a single man on the patrimonial estate until he grew tired of living alone and then he took to wife the daughter of a neighbouring gentleman with a dower of one thousand pounds this good lady bore him two children a son and a daughter and when the son was about nineteen and the daughter fourteen as near as we can guess impartial records of young lady's ages being before the passing of the new act nowhere preserved in the registries of this country Mr. Nicolby looked about him for the means of repairing his capital now sadly reduced by this increase in his family and the expenses of their education speculate with it said Mrs. Nicolby speculate my dear said Mr. Nicolby as though in doubt why not asked Mrs. Nicolby because my dear if we should lose it rejoined Mr. Nicolby who was a slow and time-taking speaker if we should lose it we shall no longer be able to live my dear fiddle said Mrs. Nicolby I am not altogether sure of that my dear said Mr. Nicolby there's Nicholas pursued the lady quite a young man it's time he was in the way of doing something for himself and Kate too poor girl without a penny in the world think of your brother would he be what he is if he hadn't speculated that's true replied Mr. Nicolby very good my dear yes I will speculate my dear speculation is a round game the players see little or nothing of their cards at first starting gains may be great and so may losses the run of luck went against Mr. Nicolby a mania prevailed a bubble burst four stockbrokers took villa residences at Florence four hundred nobodies were ruined and among them Mr. Nicolby the very house I live in said the poor gentleman may be taken from me tomorrow not an article of my old furniture but will be sold to strangers the last reflection hurt him so much that he took at once to his bed apparently resolved to keep that at all events cheer up sir said the apothecary you mustn't let yourself be cast down sir said the nurse such things happen every day remarked the lawyer and it is very sinful to rebel against them whispered the clergyman and what no man with a family ought to do added the neighbours Mr. Nicolby shook his head and motioning them all out of the room embraced his wife and children and having pressed them by turns to his languidly beating heart sunk exhausted on his pillow they were concerned to find that his reason went astray after this for he babbled for a long time about the generosity and goodness of his brother and the merry old times when they were at school together this fit of wandering past he solemnly commended them to one who never deserted the widow or her fatherless children and smiling gently on them turned upon his face and observed that he thought he could fall asleep end of chapter one this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Czech Chris London UK Nicholas Nicolby by Charles Dickens chapter two of Mr. Ralph Nicolby and his establishments and his undertakings and of a great joint stock company of vast national importance Mr. Ralph Nicolby was not strictly speaking what you would call a merchant neither was he a banker nor an attorney nor a special pleader nor a notary he was certainly not a tradesman and still less could he lay any claim to the title of a professional gentleman for it would have been impossible to mention any recognized profession to which he belonged nevertheless, as he lived in a spacious house in Golden Square which in addition to a brass plate upon the street door had another brass plate two sizes and a half smaller upon the left-hand door post sounding a brass model of an infant's fist grasping a fragment of a skewer and displaying the word office it was clear that Mr. Ralph Nicolby did or pretended to do business of some kind and the fact, if it required any further circumstantial evidence was abundantly demonstrated by the diurnal attendance between the hours of half past nine and five of a sallow-faced man in rusty brown who sat upon an uncommonly hard stool in a species of butler's pantry at the end of the passage and always had a pen behind his ear when he answered the bell although a few members of the graver professions live about Golden Square it is not exactly in anybody's way to or from anywhere it is one of the squares that have been a quarter of the town that has gone down in the world and taken to letting lodgings many of its first and second floors are let furnished to single gentlemen and it takes borders besides it is a great resort of foreigners the dark complexioned men who wear large rings and heavy watch-guards and bushy whiskers and who congregate under the opera-colonade and about the box-office in the season between four and five in the afternoon when they give away the orders they either live in Golden Square or within a street of it two or three violins and a wind instrument from the opera-band reside within its precincts its boarding-houses are musical and the notes of pianos and harps float in the evening time around the head of the mournful statue the guardian genius of a little wilderness of shrubs in the centre of the square on a summer's night windows are thrown open the swarthy mustached men are seen by the passer-by lounging at the casements and smoking fearfully sounds of gruff voices practising vocal music invade the evening silence and the fumes of choice tobacco sent the air there snuff and cigars and German pipes and flutes and violins and violoncelloes divide the supremacy between them it is the region of song and smoke street-bands are on their metal in Golden Square and itinerant glee-singers quaver involuntarily as they raise their voices within its boundaries this would not seem a spot very well adapted to the transaction of business but Mr. Ralph Nicolby had lived there notwithstanding for many years and uttered no complaint on that score he knew nobody round about and nobody knew him although he enjoyed the reputation of being immensely rich the tradesmen held that he was a sort of lawyer and the other neighbours opined that he was a kind of general agent both of which guesses were as correct and definite as guesses about other people's affairs usually are or need to be Mr. Ralph Nicolby sat in his private office one morning ready-dressed to walk abroad he wore a bottle-green spencer over a blue coat a white waistcoat, grey mixture pantaloons and linkedin boots drawn over them the corner of a small plattered shirt-frill struggled out as if insisting to show itself from between his chin and the top button of his spencer and the latter garment was not made low enough to conceal a long gold watch-chain composed of a series of plain rings which had its beginning at the handle of a gold repeater in Mr. Nicolby's pocket and its termination in two little keys belonging to the watch itself and the other to some patent padlock he wore a sprinkling of powder upon his head as if to make himself look benevolent but if that were his purpose he would perhaps have done better to powder his countenance also for there was something in its very wrinkles and in his cold restless eye which seemed to tell of cunning that would announce itself in spite of him however this might be there he was and as he was all alone neither the powder nor the wrinkles nor the eyes had the smallest effect good or bad upon anybody just then and are consequently no business of ours just now Mr. Nicolby closed an account-book which lay on his desk and throwing himself back in his chair gazed with an air of abstraction through the dirty window some London houses have a melancholy little plot of ground behind them usually fenced in by four high whitewashed walls and frowned upon by stacks of chimneys in which there withers on from year to year a crippled tree that makes a show of putting forth a few leaves late in autumn when other trees shed theirs and drooping in the effort lingers on all crackled and smoke-dried till the following season when it repeats the same process and perhaps if the weather be particularly genial even tense some rheumatic sparrow to chirrup in its branches people sometimes call these dark yards gardens it is not supposed that they were ever planted but rather that they are pieces of unreclaimed land with the withered vegetation of the original brick-field no man thinks of walking in this desolate place or of turning it to any account a few hampers half a dozen broken bottles and such like rubbish may be thrown there when the tenant first moves in but nothing more and there they remain until he goes away again the damp straw taking just as long to molder as it thinks proper and mingling with the scanty box and stunted ever-browns and broken flower-pots that are scattered mournfully about a prey to blacks and dirt it was into a place of this kind that Mr. Ralph Niccolby gazed as he sat with his hands in his pockets looking out of the window he had fixed his eyes upon a distorted fir tree planted by some former tenant in a tub that had once been green and left there years before to rot away piecemeal there was nothing very inviting in the object but Mr. Niccolby was wrapped in a brown study and sat contemplating it with far greater attention than in a more conscious mood he would have deigned to bestow upon the rarest exotic at length his eyes wandered to a little dirty window on the left through which the face of the clerk was dimly visible that worthy chanceing to look up he beckoned him to attend in obedience to this summons the clerk got off the high stool to which he had communicated a high polish by countless gettings off and on and presented himself in Mr. Niccolby's room he was a tall man of middle age with two goggle eyes whereof one was a fixture a rubicand nose a cadaverous face and a suit of clothes if the term be allowable when they suited him not at all much the worse for wear very much too small and placed upon such a short allowance of buttons that it was marvellous how he contrived to keep them on was that half past twelve nogs? said Mr. Niccolby in a sharp and grating voice not more than five and twenty minutes by that nogs was going to add public house-clock but recollecting himself substituted regular time my watch has stopped said Mr. Niccolby I don't know from what cause not wound up said nogs yes it is said Mr. Niccolby overwhelmed then rejoined nogs that can't very well be observed Mr. Niccolby must be said nogs said Mr. Niccolby putting the repeater back in his pocket perhaps it is nogs gave a peculiar grunt as was his custom at the end of all disputes with his master to imply that he nogs triumphed and as he rarely spoke to anybody unless somebody spoke to him fell into a grim silence and rubbed his hands slowly over each other cracking the joints of his fingers and squeezing them into all possible distortions the incessant performance of this routine on every occasion and the communication of a fixed and rigid look to his unaffected eye so as to make it uniform with the other and to render it impossible for anybody to determine where or at what he was looking were two among the numerous peculiarities of Mr. nogs which struck an inexperienced observer at first sight I am going to the London tavern this morning said Mr. Niccolby public meeting, inquired nogs Mr. Niccolby nodded I expect a letter from the solicitor respecting that mortgage of Ruddles if it comes at all it will be here by the two o'clock delivery I shall leave the city about that time and walk to Charing Cross on the left-hand side of the way if there are any letters come and meet me and bring them with you nogs nodded and as he nodded there came a ring at the office bell the master looked up from his papers and the clerk calmly remained in a stationary position the bell said nogs as so in explanation at home yes to anybody yes to the tax-gatherer no let him call again nogs gave vent to his usual grunt as much as to say I thought so and the ring being repeated went to the door whence he presently returned ushering in by the name of Mr. Bonnie a pale gentleman in a violent hurry who with his hair standing up in great disorder all over his head and a very narrow white cravat tied loosely round his throat looked as if he had been knocked up in the night and had not dressed himself since my dear Niccolby said the gentleman taking off a white hat which was so full of papers that it was scarcely stick upon his head there's not a moment to lose I have a cab at the door Sir Matthew Pupker takes the chair and three members of Parliament are positively coming I've seen two of them safely out of bed the third who was at Crockford's all night has just gone home to put a clean shirt on and take a bottle or two of soda water and will certainly be with us in time to address the meeting he's a little excited by last night but never mind that he always speaks the stronger for it it seems to promise pretty well said Mr. Ralph Niccolby whose deliberate manner was strongly opposed to the vivacity of the other man of business pretty well echoed Mr. Bonnie it's the finest idea that was ever started united metropolitan improved hot muffin and crumpet baking and punctual delivery company capital five millions in five hundred thousand shares of ten pounds each why the very name will get the shares up to a premium in ten days and when they are at a premium said Mr. Ralph Niccolby smiling when they are you know what to do with them as well as any man alive and how to back quietly out at the right time said Mr. Bonnie slapping the capitalist familiarly on the shoulder by the by what a very remarkable man that Clark of yours is yes poor devil replied Ralph drawing on his gloves though Newman Knox kept his horses and hounds once I said the other carelessly yes continued Ralph and not many years ago either but he squandered his money invested it anyhow borrowed at interest and in short made first a thorough fool of himself and then a beggar he took to drinking and had a touch of paralysis and then came here to borrow a pound as in his better days I'd done business with him said Mr. Bonnie with a meaning look just so replied Ralph I couldn't lend it you know oh of course not but as I wanted a Clark just then to open the door and so forth I took him out of charity and he's remained with me ever since he's a little mad I think said Mr. Niccolby calling up a charitable look but he's useful enough poor creature useful enough the kind hearted gentleman omitted to add that Newman Knox being utterly destitute served him for rather less than the usual wages of a boy of thirteen and likewise failed to mention in his hasty chronicle that his eccentric taciturnity rendered him an especially valuable person in a place where much business was done of which it was desirable no mention should be made out of doors the other gentleman was plainly impatient to be gone however and as they hurried into the Hackney Cabriolet immediately afterwards perhaps Mr. Niccolby forgot to mention circumstances so unimportant there was a great bustle in Bishop's Gate Street within as they drew up and it being a windy day half a dozen men were tacking across the road under a press of paper bearing gigantic announcements that a public meeting would be holding at one o'clock precisely to take into consideration the propriety of petitioning parliament in favour of the united metropolitan improved hot muffin and crumpet baking and punctual delivery company capital five millions in five hundred thousand shares of ten pounds each which sums were duly set forth in fat black figures of considerable size Mr. Bonney elbowed his way briskly upstairs receiving in his progress many low bows from the waiters who stood on the landings to show the way and followed by Mr. Niccolby dived into a suite of apartments behind the great public room in the second of which was a business-looking table and several business-looking people here cried a gentleman with a double chin as Mr. Bonney presented himself chair, gentlemen, chair the newcomers were received with universal approbation and Mr. Bonney bustled up to the top of the table took off his hat ran his fingers through his hair and knocked a hackney coachman's knock on the table with a little hammer were at several gentlemen cried here and nodded slightly to each other as much as to say what spirited conduct that was just at this moment a waiter feverish with agitation tore into the room and throwing the door open with a crash shouted Sir Matthew Pubker the committee stood up and clapped their hands for joy and while they were clapping them in came Sir Matthew Pubker attended by two live members of parliament one Irish and one Scotch all smiling and bowing and looking so pleasant that it seemed a perfect marvel how any man could have the heart to vote against them Sir Matthew Pubker especially who had a little round head with a flaxen wig on the top of it fell into such a paroxysm of bows that the wig threatened to be jerked off every instant when these symptoms had in some degree subsided the gentlemen who were on speaking terms with Sir Matthew Pubker or the two other members crowded round them in three little groups near one or other of which the gentlemen who were not on speaking terms with Sir Matthew Pubker or the two other members stood lingering and smiling and rubbing their hands in the desperate hope of something turning up which might bring them into notice all this time Sir Matthew Pubker and the two other members were relating to their separate circles what the intentions of government were about taking up the bill with a full account of what the government had said in a whisper the last time they dined with it and how the government had been observed to wink when it said so from which premises they were at no loss to draw the conclusion that if the government had one object more at heart than another that one object was the welfare and advantage of the united metropolitan improved hot muffin and crumpet baking and punctual delivery company meanwhile and pending the arrangement of the proceedings and a fair division of the speechifying the public in the large room were eyeing by turns the empty platform and the ladies in the music gallery in these amusements the greater portion of them had been occupied for a couple of hours before and as the most agreeable diversions paw upon the taste on a too protracted enjoyment of them the sterner spirits now began to hammer the floor with their boot heels and to express their dissatisfaction by various hoots and cries these vocal exertions emanating from the people who had been their longest naturally proceeded from those who were nearest to the platform and furthest from the policemen in attendance having no great mind to fight their way through the crowd but entertaining nevertheless a praiseworthy desire to do something to quell the disturbance immediately began to drag forth by the coat tails and collars all the quiet people near the door at the same time dealing out various smart and tingling blows with their truncheons after the manner of that ingenious actor Mr. Punch whose brilliant example both in the fashion of his weapons and their use this branch of the executive occasionally shows several very exciting skirmishers were in progress when a loud shout attracted the attention even of the belligerents and then they're pulled onto the platform from a door at the side a long line of gentlemen with their hats off all looking behind them and uttering vociferous cheers the cause whereof was sufficiently explained when Sir Matthew Pupka and the two other real members of parliament came to the front amidst deafening shouts and testified to each other in dumb motions that they had never seen such a glorious sight as that in the whole course of their public career at length and at last the assembly left off shouting but Sir Matthew Pupka being voted into the chair they underwent a relapse which lasted five minutes this over Sir Matthew Pupka went on to say what must be his feelings on that great occasion and what must be that occasion in the eyes of the world and what must be the intelligence of his fellow countrymen before him and what must be the wealth and respectability of his honourable friends behind him and lastly what must be the importance to the wealth, the happiness, the comfort, the liberty the very existence of a free and great people of such an institution as the united metropolitan improved hot muffin and crumpet baking and punctual delivery company Mr Bonnie then presented himself to move the first resolution and having run his right hand through his head and planted his left in an easy manner in his ribs he consigned his hat to the care of the gentleman with the double chin who acted as a species of bottle holder to the orators generally and said he would read to them the first resolution that this meeting views with alarm and apprehension the existing state of the muffin trade in this metropolis and its neighbourhood that it considers the muffin boys as at present constituted wholly undeserving the confidence of the public and that it deems the whole muffin system alike prejudicial to the health and morals of the people and subversive to the best interests of a great commercial and mercantile community the honourable gentleman made a speech which drew tears from the eyes of the ladies and awakened the liveliest emotions in every individual present he had visited the houses of the poor in the various districts of London and had found them destitute to the slightest vestige of a muffin which there appeared too much reason to believe some of these indigent persons did not taste from year's end to year's end he had found that among muffin sellers there existed drunkenness deportury and profligacy which he attributed to the debasing nature of their employment as at present exercised he had found the same vices among the poorer class of people who ought to be muffin consumers and this he attributed to the despair engendered by their being placed beyond the reach of that nutritious article which drove them to seek a false stimulant in intoxicating liquours he would undertake to prove before a committee of the House of Commons that there existed a combination to keep up the price of muffins and to give the Bellmen a monopoly he would prove it by Bellmen at the bar of that House and he would also prove that these men corresponded with each other by secret words and signs as Snooks, Walker, Ferguson, Is Murphy right? and many others it was this melancholy state of things that the company proposed to correct firstly by prohibiting under heavy penalties all private muffin trading of every description secondly by themselves supplying the public generally and the poor at their own homes with muffins of first quality at reduced prices it was with this object that a bill had been introduced into Parliament by their patriotic chairman Sir Matthew Popker it was this bill that they had met to support it was the supporters of this bill who would confer undying brightness and splendour upon England under the name of the United Metropolitan Improved Hot Muffin and Crumpet Baking and Punctual Delivery Company he would add with a capital of five millions in five hundred thousand shares of ten pounds each Mr Ralph Nicolby seconded the resolution and another gentleman having moved that it be amended by the insertion of the words and crumpet after the word muffin whenever it occurred it was carried triumphantly only one man in the crowd cried no and he was promptly taken into custody and straightway borne off the second resolution which recognised the expediency of immediately abolishing all muffin or crumpet sellers all traders in muffins or crumpets of whatsoever description whether male or female boys or men ringing hand-bells or otherwise was moved by a grievous gentleman of semi-clerical appearance who went at once into such deep pathetic that he knocked the first speaker clean out of the course in no time you might have heard a pin fall a pin a feather as he described the cruelties inflicted on muffin boys by their masters which he very wisely urged were in themselves a sufficient reason for the establishment of that inestimable company it seemed that the unhappy youths were nightly turned out into the wet streets at the most inclement periods of the year to wonder about in darkness and rain or it might be hail or snow for hours together without shelter, food or warmth and let the public never forget upon the latter point that while the muffins were provided with warm clothing and blankets the boys were wholly unprovided for and left to their own miserable resources shame! the honourable gentleman related one case of a muffin boy who having been exposed to this inhuman and barbarous system for no less than five years at length fell a victim to a cold in the head beneath which he gradually sunk until he fell into a perspiration and recovered this he could vouch for on his own authority but he had heard and he had no reason to doubt the fact of a still more heart-rending and appalling circumstance he had heard of the case of an orphan muffin boy who having been run over by a hackney carriage had been removed to the hospital had undergone the amputation of his leg below the knee and was now actually pursuing his occupation on crutches fountain of justice were these things to last this was the department of the subject that took the meeting and this was the style of speaking to enlist their sympathies the men shouted the ladies wept into their pocket handkerchiefs till they were moist and waved them till they were dry the excitement was tremendous and Mr. Nicolby whispered his friend that the shares were thenceforth at a premium of five and twenty percent the resolution was of course carried with loud acclamations every man holding up both hands in favour of it as he would in his enthusiasm have held up both legs also if he could have conveniently accomplished it this done the draft of the proposed petition was read at length and the petition said as all petitions do say that the petitioners were very humble and the petitioned very honourable and the object very virtuous therefore said the petition the bill ought to be passed into a law at once and the everlasting honour and glory of that most honourable and glorious commons of England in Parliament assembled then the gentleman who had been at Crockford's all night and who looked something the worse about the eyes in consequence came forward to tell his fellow countrymen what a speech he meant to make in favour of that petition whenever it should be presented and how desperately he meant to taunt the Parliament if they rejected the bill and to inform them also that he regretted his honourable friends had not inserted a clause rendering the purchase of muffins and crumpets compulsory upon all classes of the community which he opposing all half-measures and preferring to go the extreme animal pledged himself to propose and divide upon in committee after announcing this determination the honourable gentleman grew jocular and as patent boots, lemon-coloured kid-gloves and a fur coat collar assist jokes materially there was immense laughter and much cheering and moreover such a brilliant display of ladies pocket handkerchiefs as through the grievous gentleman quite into the shade and when the petition had been read and was about to be adopted there came forward the Irish member who was a young gentleman of ardent temperament such a speech as only an Irish member can make breathing the true soul and spirit of poetry and poured forth with such fervour that it made one warm to look at him in the course whereof he told them how he would demand the extension of that great boon to his native country how he would claim for her equal rights in the muffin-laws as in all other laws and how he yet hoped to see the day when crumpets should be toasted in her lowly cabins and muffin-bells should ring in her rich green valleys and after him came the Scotch member with various pleasant allusions to the probable amount of profits which increased the good humour that the poetry had awakened and all the speeches put together did exactly what they were intended to do and established in the hearer's minds that there was no speculation so promising or at the same time so praiseworthy as the united metropolitan improved hot muffin and crumpet baking and punctual delivery company so the petition in favour of the bill was agreed upon and the meeting adjourned with acclamations and Mr Nicolby and the other directors went to the office to lunch as they did every day at half past one o'clock and to remunerate themselves for which trouble as the company was yet in its infancy only charged three guineas each man for every such attendance END OF CHAPTER II this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Czechris, London, UK Nicholas Nicolby by Charles Dickens CHAPTER III Mr Ralph Nicolby receives sad tidings of his brother but bears up nobly against the intelligence communicated to him the reader is informed how he liked Nicholas who is herein introduced and how kindly he proposed to make his fortune at once having rendered his zealous assistance towards dispatching the lunch with all that promptitude and energy which are among the most important qualities that men of business can possess Mr Ralph Nicolby took a cordial farewell of his fellow speculators and bent his steps westward in unwanted good humour as he passed St. Paul's he stepped aside into a doorway to set his watch and with his hand on the key and his eye on the cathedral dial was intent upon so doing when a man suddenly stopped before him it was Newman-nogs ah, Newman! said Mr Nicolby looking up as he pursued his occupation the letter about the mortgage has come, has it? I thought it would wrong, replied Newman what? and nobody called respecting it inquired Mr Nicolby pausing Nogs shook his head what has come then? inquired Mr Nicolby I have, said Newman what else? demanded the master sternly this, said Newman, drawing a sealed letter slowly from his pocket postmark, strand, black wax, black border, woman's hand C-N in the corner black wax, said Mr Nicolby, glancing at the letter I know something of that hand, too Newman, I shouldn't be surprised if my brother were dead I don't think you would, said Newman quietly why not, sir? demanded Mr Nicolby you never are surprised, replied Newman, that's all Mr Nicolby snatched the letter from his assistant and, fixing a cold look upon him opened, read it, put it in his pocket and, having now hit the time to a second began winding up his watch it's as I expected, Newman said Mr Nicolby, while he was thus engaged he is dead, dear me well, that's sudden thing I shouldn't have thought it, really with these touching expressions of sorrow Mr Nicolby replaced his watch in his fob and, fitting on his gloves to a nicety turned upon his way and walked slowly westward with his hands behind him children alive? inquired Nox, stepping up to him well, that's the very thing, replied Mr Nicolby as though his thoughts were about them at that moment they are both alive both? repeated Newman Nox in a low voice and the widow, too, added Mr Nicolby and all three in London can found them all three here, Newman Newman fell a little behind his master and his face was curiously twisted as by a spasm but whether of paralysis or grief or inward laughter nobody but himself could possibly explain the expression of a man's face is commonly a help to his thoughts or glossary on his speech but the countenance of Newman Nox in his ordinary moods was a problem which no stretch of ingenuity could solve go home, said Mr Nicolby after they had walked a few paces looking round at the clerk as if he were his dog the words were scarcely uttered when Newman darted across the road slunk among the crowd and disappeared in an instant reasonable certainly, muttered Mr Nicolby to himself as he walked on very reasonable my brother never did anything for me and I never expected it the breath is no sooner out of his body than I am to be looked to as the support of a great hearty woman and a grown boy and girl what are they to me? I never saw them full of these and many other reflections of a similar kind Mr Nicolby made the best of his way to the Strand and referring to his letter as if to ascertain the number of the house he wanted stopped at a private door about half way down that crowded thoroughfare a miniature painter lived there for there was a large gilt frame screwed upon the street door in which were displayed upon a black velvet ground two portraits of naval dress coats with faces looking out of them and telescopes attached one of a young gentleman in a very vermilion uniform flourishing a sabre one of a literary character with a high forehead, a pen and ink, six books and a curtain there was moreover a touching representation of a young lady reading a manuscript in an unfathomable forest and a charming whole length of a large-headed little boy sitting on a stool with his legs foreshortened to the size of salt spoons besides these works of art there were a great many heads of old ladies and gentlemen smirking at each other out of blue and brown skies and an elegantly written card of terms with an embossed border Mr Nicolby glanced at these frivolities with great contempt and gave a double knock which, having been thrice repeated, was answered by a servant girl with an uncommonly dirty face Is Mrs Nicolby at home, girl? demanded Ralph sharply Her name ain't Nicolby, said the girl, La Cravee, you mean? Mr Nicolby looked very indignant at the handmaid on being thus corrected and demanded with much asperity what she meant which she was about to state when a female voice proceeding from a perpendicular staircase at the end of the passage inquired who was wanted Mrs Nicolby, said Ralph, it's the second floor, Hannah, said the same voice What a stupid thing you are! Is the second floor at home? Somebody went out just now, but I think it was the attic which had been a cleaning of himself, replied the girl You had better see, said the invisible female, show the gentleman where the bell is and tell him he mustn't knock double knocks for the second floor I can't allow a knock except when the bells broke, and then it must be two single ones Here, said Ralph, walking in without more parley, I beg your pardon, is that Mrs Lowe what's her name? Cravee, La Cravee, replied the voice as a yellow headdress bobbed over the banisters I'll speak to you a moment, ma'am, with your leave, said Ralph The voice replied that the gentleman was to walk up But he had walked up before it spoke, and stepping into the first floor was received by the wearer of the yellow headdress who had a gown to correspond, and was of much the same colour herself Miss La Cravee was a mincing young lady of fifty, and Miss La Cravee's apartment was the guilt frame downstairs on a larger scale and something dirtier Ahem, said Miss La Cravee, coughing delicately behind her black silk mitten A miniature, I presume, a very strongly marked countenance for the purpose, sir Have you ever sat before? You mistake my purpose, I see, ma'am, replied Mr Nicolby in his usual blunt fashion I have no money to throw away on miniature's ma'am and nobody to give one to, thank God, if I had Seeing on the stairs I wanted to ask a question of you about some lodgers here Miss La Cravee coughed once more, this cough was to conceal her disappointment, and said Oh, indeed! I infer from what you said to your servant that the floor above belongs to you, ma'am said Mr Nicolby Yes, it did, Miss La Cravee replied The upper part of the house belonged to her, and as she had no necessity for the second floor rooms just then, she was in the habit of letting them Indeed, there was a lady from the country and her two children in them at that present speaking A widow, ma'am, said Ralph Yes, she is a widow, replied the lady A poor widow, ma'am, said Ralph, with a powerful emphasis on that little adjective which conveys so much Well, I'm afraid she is poor rejoined Miss La Cravee I happen to know that she is ma'am, said Ralph Now, what business has a poor widow in such a house as this, ma'am? Very true, replied Miss La Cravee Not at all displeased with this implied compliment to the apartments Exceedingly true I know her circumstances intimately, ma'am, said Ralph In fact, I'm a relation of the family and I should recommend you not to keep them here, ma'am I should hope if there was any incompatibility to meet the pecuniary obligations Said Miss La Cravee with another cough That the lady's family would know they wouldn't, ma'am Interrupted Ralph hastily Don't think it If I am to understand that, said Miss La Cravee The case wears a very different appearance You may understand it then, ma'am, said Ralph And make your arrangements accordingly I am the family, ma'am At least I believe I'm the only relation they have And I think it right that you should know I can't support them in their extravagances How long have they taken these lodgings for? Only from week to week, replied Miss La Cravee Mrs. Niccolby paid the first week in advance Then you'd better get them out at the end of it, said Ralph They can't do better than go back to their country, ma'am They're in everybody's way here Certainly, said Miss La Cravee, rubbing her hands If Mrs. Niccolby took the apartments without the means of paying for them It was very unbecoming a lady Of course it was, ma'am, said Ralph And naturally, continued Miss La Cravee I, who am, at present, an unprotected female Cannot afford to lose by the apartments Of course you can't, ma'am, replied Ralph Though at the same time, added Miss La Cravee Who was plainly wavering between her good nature and her interest I have nothing whatever to say against the lady Who is extremely pleasant and affable Though, poor thing, she seems terribly low in her spirits Not against the young people either For nicer or better-behaved young people cannot be Very well, ma'am, said Ralph, turning to the door For these encomiums on poverty irritated him I've done my duty and perhaps more than I ought Of course nobody will thank me for saying what I have I'm sure I am very much obliged to you at least, sir Said Miss La Cravee in a gracious manner Would you do me the favour to look at a few specimens of my portrait painting? You're very good, ma'am, said Mr. Niccolby, making off with great speed But as I have a visit to pay upstairs and my time is precious, I really can't Any other time you are passing I shall be most happy, said Miss La Cravee Perhaps you will have the kindness to take a card of terms with you Thank you. Good morning Good morning, ma'am, said Ralph, shutting the door abruptly after him To prevent any further conversation Now for my sister-in-law Climbing up another perpendicular flight Composed with great mechanical ingenuity of nothing but corner stairs Mr. Ralph Niccolby stopped to take breath on the landing When he was overtaken by the handmaid Whom the politeness of Miss La Cravee had dispatched to announce him And who had apparently been making a variety of unsuccessful attempts Since their last interview To wipe her dirty face clean upon an apron much dirtier What name, said the girl Niccolby, replied Ralph Mrs. Niccolby, said the girl throwing open the door Here's Mr. Niccolby A lady in deep mourning rose as Mr. Ralph Niccolby entered But appeared incapable of advancing to meet him And lent upon the arm of a slight but very beautiful girl of about seventeen Who had been sitting by her A youth who appeared a year or two older Stepped forward and saluted Ralph as his uncle Ah! growled Ralph with an ill-favoured frown Your Nicholas, I suppose That is my name, sir, replied the youth Put my hat down, said Ralph imperiously Well, ma'am, how do you do? You must bear up against sorrow, ma'am I always do Mine was no common loss, said Mrs. Niccolby Applying her handkerchief to her eyes It was no uncommon loss, ma'am I turned Ralph as he coolly unbuttoned his spencer Husbands die every day, ma'am, and wives too And brothers also, sir, said Nicholas With a glance of indignation Yes, sir, and puppies and pug-dogs likewise Applied his uncle taking a chair You didn't mention in your letter what my brother's complaint was, ma'am The doctors could attribute it to no particular disease, said Mrs. Niccolby, shedding tears We have too much reason to fear that he died of a broken heart Pfft, said Ralph, there's no such thing I can understand a man's dying of a broken neck Or suffering from a broken arm or a broken head Or a broken leg or a broken nose But a broken heart, nonsense, it's the cant of the day If a man can't pay his debts He dies of a broken heart and his widows a martyr Some people, I believe, have no hearts to break Observed Nicholas quietly How old is this boy, for God's sake? Inquired Ralph, wheeling back his chair And surveying his nephew from head to foot with intense scorn Nicholas is very nearly nineteen, replied the widow Nineteen, eh? said Ralph And what do you mean to do for your bread, sir? Not to live upon my mother, replied Nicholas His heart swelling as he spoke You'd have little enough to live upon if you did Retorted the uncle, eyeing him contemptuously Whatever it be, said Nicholas, flushed with anger I shall not look to you to make it more Nicholas, my dear, recollect yourself Remonstrated Mrs. Nicolby Dear Nicholas, pray, urged the young lady Hold your tongue, sir, said Ralph, upon my word Fine beginnings, Mrs. Nicolby Fine beginnings Mrs. Nicolby made no other reply than entreating Nicholas by a gesture to keep silent And the uncle and nephew looked at each other for some seconds without speaking The face of the old man was stern, hard-featured and forbidding That of the young one open, handsome and ingenuous The old man's eye was keen with the twinkling of avarice and cunning The young man's bright with the light of intelligence and spirit His figure was somewhat slight, but manly and well-formed And apart from all the grace of youth and comeliness There was an emanation from the warm young heart in his look and bearing Which kept the old man down However striking such a contrast as this may be to look us on None ever feel it with half the keenness or acuteness a perfection With which it strikes to the very soul of him whose inferiority it marks It galled Ralph to the heart's core And he hated Nicholas from that hour The mutual inspection was at length brought to a close by Ralph withdrawing His eyes with a great show of disdain and calling Nicholas a boy This word is much used as a term of reproach by elderly gentlemen Towards their juniors, probably with the view of deluding society Into the belief that if they could be young again, they wouldn't On any account Well, Mom, said Ralph impatiently, the creditors have administered You tell me and there's nothing left for you Nothing, replied Mrs. Nicolby, and you spent what little money you had Incoming all the way to London to see what I could do for you Pursued Ralph, I hoped, faulted Mrs. Nicolby, that you might Have an opportunity of doing something for your brother's children It was his dying wish that I should appeal to you in their behalf I don't know how it is, muttered Ralph, walking up and down the room But whenever a man dies without any property of his own He always seems to think he has a right to dispose of other people's What is your daughter fit for, Mom? Kate has been well educated Sub, Mrs. Nicolby, tell your uncle, my dear, how far you went In French and extras The poor girl was about to murmur something when her uncle stopped her Very unceremoniously We must try and get you apprenticed at some boarding school Said Ralph, you've not been brought up too delicately for that, I hope No indeed, uncle, replied the weeping girl I will try to do anything that will gain me a home and bread Well, well, said Ralph, a little softened Either by his niece's beauty or her distress Stretch a point and say the latter You must try it, and if the life is too hard Perhaps dressmaking or timbre work will come lighter Have you ever done anything, sir? Turning to his nephew No, replied Nicholas bluntly No, I thought not, said Ralph This is the way my brother brought up his children, Mom Nicholas has not long completed such education as his poor father Could give him, rejoined Mrs. Nicolby And he was thinking of making something of him some day Said Ralph, the old story Always thinking and never doing If my brother had been a man of activity and prudence He might have left you a rich woman, Mom And if he had turned his son into the world as my father turned me When I wasn't as old as that boy by a year and a half He would have been in a situation to help you Instead of being a burden to you and increasing your distress My brother was a thoughtless, inconsiderate man, Mrs. Nicolby And nobody, I am sure, can have better reason to feel that than you This appeal set the widow upon thinking that perhaps She might have made a more successful venture with her one thousand pounds And then she began to reflect what a comfortable sum it would have been just then Which dismal thoughts made her tears flow faster And in the excess of these griefs She, being a well-meaning woman enough but weak with all Fell first to deploring her hard fate And then to remarking with many sobs that to be sure She had been a slave to poor Nicholas And had often told him she might have married better As indeed she had very often And that she never knew in his lifetime how the money went But that if he had confided in her they might all have been better off that day With other bitter recollections common to most married ladies Either during their coverture or afterwards or at both periods Mrs. Nicolby concluded by lamenting that the dear departed Had never deigned to profit by her advice save on one occasion Which was a strictly voracious statement in as much as he had only acted upon it once And had ruined himself in consequence Mr. Ralph Nicolby heard all this with a half smile And when the widow had finished quietly took up the subject Where it had been left before the above outbreak Are you willing to work, sir?" he inquired frowning on his nephew Of course I am," replied Nicholas, hortily. And see here, sir," said his uncle, this caught my eye this morning And you may thank your stars for it. With this exordium Mr. Ralph Nicolby took a newspaper from his pocket And after unfolding it and looking for a short time among the advertisements Read as follows Education At Mr. Wackford Squeers' Academy, do the boys' hall, at the delightful village Of do the boys near Greta Bridge in Yorkshire Youth are bordered, clothed, booked, furnished with pocket money, Provided with all necessaries, instructed in all languages, living and dead Mathematics, orthography, geometry, astronomy, trigonometry, the use of the globes, Algebra, single stick, if required, writing, arithmetic, fortification And every other branch of classical literature, terms twenty guineas per annum No extras, no vacations, and diet unparalleled Mr. Squeers is in town, and attends daily from one till four at the Saracen's Head Snow Hill N. B., an able assistant wanted, annual salary five pounds A master of arts would be preferred There! said Ralph, folding the paper again Let him get that situation, and his fortune is made But he's not a master of arts, said Mrs. Nicolby That, replied Ralph, that I think can be got over But the salary is so small, and it is such a long way off, Uncle Faulted Kate Hush, Kate, my dear, interpose, Mrs. Nicolby Your uncle must know best I say, repeated Ralph, tartly, let him get that situation, and his fortune is made If he don't like that, let him get one for himself Without friends, money, recommendation, or knowledge of business of any kind Let him find honest employment in London, which will keep him in shoe leather And I'll give him a thousand pounds At least, said Mr. Ralph, Nicolby, checking himself I would if I had it Poor fellow, said the young lady, oh, uncle, must we be separated so soon Don't tease your uncle with questions when he's thinking only for our good, my love Said Mrs. Nicolby Nicolus, my dear, I wish you would say something Yes, mother, yes, said Nicolus, who had hitherto remained silent and absorbed in thought If I am fortunate enough to be appointed to this post, sir, for which I am so imperfectly qualified What will become of those I leave behind? Your mother and sister, sir, replied Ralph, will be provided for, in that case, not otherwise, by me, and placed in some sphere of life in which they will be able to be independent That will be my immediate care They will not remain as they are, one week after your departure I will undertake Then, said Nicolus, starting gaily up and ringing his uncle's hand I am ready to do anything you wish me Let us try our fortune with Mr. Squeers at once, he can but refuse He won't do that, said Ralph, he'll be glad to have you on my recommendation Make yourself of use to him, and you'll rise to be a partner in the establishment in no time Bless me, only think, if he were to die, why, your fortunes made at once To be sure, I see it all, said poor Nicolus, delighted with a thousand visionary ideas That his good spirits and his inexperience were conjuring up before him Or suppose some young nobleman who's being educated at the hall were to take a fancy to me And get his father to appoint me his travelling tutor when he left And when we'd come back from the Continent, procured me some handsome appointment, eh, uncle? Ah, to be sure, sneered Ralph And who knows, but when he came to see me, when I was settled, as he would, of course He might fall in love with Kate, who would be keeping my house, and marry her, eh, uncle? Who knows? Who indeed, snarled Ralph How happy we should be, cried Nicolus with enthusiasm The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again Kate will be a beautiful woman, and I so proud to hear them say so Happy to be with us once again, and all these sad times forgotten, and— The picture was too brighter one to bear, and Nicolus fairly overpowered by it, Smiled faintly, and burst into tears This simple family, born and bred in retirement, and wholly unacquainted with what is called the world A conventional phrase which being interpreted often signifyeth all the rascals in it Mingled their tears together at the thought of their first separation And this first gush of feeling over Were proceeding to dilate with all the buoyancy of untried hope on the bright prospects before them Where Mr. Ralph Nicolby suggested that if they lost time Some more fortunate candidate might deprive Nicolus of the stepping-stone to fortune which the advertisement pointed out And so undermine all their air-built castles This timely reminder effectually stopped the conversation Nicolus, having carefully copied the address of Mr. Squeers The uncle and nephew issued forth together in quest of that accomplished gentleman Nicolus, firmly persuading himself that he had done his relative great injustice in disliking him at first sight And Mrs. Nicolby being at some pains to inform her daughter That she was sure he was a much more kindly disposed person than he seemed Which, Miss Nicolby dutifully remarked, he might very easily be To tell the truth, the good lady's opinion had been not a little influenced by her brother-in-law's appeal to her better understanding And his implied compliment to her high desserts And although she had dearly loved her husband and still doted on her children He had struck so successfully on one of those little jarring chords in the human heart Ralph was well acquainted with its worst weaknesses, though he knew nothing of its best That she had already begun seriously to consider herself the amiable and suffering victim of her late husband's imprudence End of Chapter 3 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Czechris, London, UK Nicholas Nicolby by Charles Dickens Chapter 4 Nicholas and his uncle, to secure the fortune without loss of time Wait upon Mr. Wackford Squiers, the Yorkshire schoolmaster Snow Hill What kind of place can the quiet townspeople who see the words emblazoned In all the legibility of gilt letters and dark shading on the north country coaches Take Snow Hill to be All people have some undefined and shadowy notion of a place whose name is frequently before their eyes Or often in their ears What a vast number of random ideas there must be perpetually floating about Regarding this same Snow Hill The name is such a good one Snow Hill Snow Hill, too, coupled with a Saracen's head Picturing to us by a double association of ideas, something stern and rugged A bleak, desolate tract of country open to piercing blasts and fierce wintery storms A dark, cold, gloomy heath, lonely by day And scarcely to be thought of by honest folks at night A place which solitary wayfares shun And where desperate robbers congregate This, or something like this, should be the prevalent notion of Snow Hill In those remote and rustic parts through which the Saracen's head, like some grim apparition Rushes each day and night with mysterious and ghostlike punctuality Holding its swift and headlong course in all weathers And seeming to bid defiance to the very elements themselves The reality is rather different But by no means to be despised, notwithstanding There, at the very core of London, in the heart of its business and animation In the midst of a whirl of noise and motion Stemming as it were the giant currents of life that flow ceaselessly on from different quarters A meat beneath its walls stands Newgate And in that crowd at street on which it frowns so darkly Within a few feet of the squalid, tottering houses Upon the very spot on which the vendors of soup and fish And damaged fruit are now plying their trades Scores of human beings amidst a roar of sounds to which even the tumult of a great city is as nothing Four, six, or eight strong men at a time Have been hurried violently and swiftly from the world When the scene has been rendered frightful with excess of human life When curious eyes have glared from casement and housetop and wall and pillar And when, in the mass of white and upturned faces The dying wretch in his all comprehensive look of agony has met not one, not one That bore the impress of pity or compassion Near to the jail, and by consequence near to Smithfield also And the compter, and the bustle and noise of the city And just on that particular part of Snow Hill where omnibus horses going eastward Seriously think of falling down on purpose And where horses in hackney cabriolets going westward Not infrequently fall by accident Is the coach-yard of the Saracen's Head Inn Its portal guarded by two Saracen's heads and shoulders Which it was once the pride and glory of the choice spirits of this metropolis To pull down at night, but which have for some time remained in undisturbed tranquility Possibly because this species of humour is now confined to St. James's parish Where door-knockers are preferred as being more portable And bell-wires esteemed as convenient toothpicks Whether this be the reason or not There they are, frowning upon you from each side of the gateway The inn itself garnished with another Saracen's head Frowns upon you from the top of the yard While from the door of the hind boot of all the red coaches that are standing therein There glares a small Saracen's head With a twin expression to the large Saracen's heads below So that the general appearance of the pile is decidedly of the Saracenic order When you walk up this yard You will see the booking-office on your left And the tower of St. Seppelker's Church Darting abruptly up into the sky on your right And a gallery of bedrooms on both sides Just before you, you will observe a long window with the words Coffee-room, legibly painted above it And looking out of that window You would have seen in addition if you had gone at the right time Mr. Wackford squeers with his hands in his pockets Mr. Squeers' appearance was not pre-possessing He had but one eye And the popular prejudice runs in favour of two The eye he had was unquestionably useful But decidedly not ornamental Being of a greenish grey And in shape resembling the fan-light of a street door The blank side of his face was much wrinkled and pockered up Which gave him a very sinister appearance Especially when he smiled At which times his expression bordered closely on the villainous His hair was very flat and shiny Save at the ends, where it was brushed stiffly up From a low protruding forehead Which assorted well with his harsh voice and coarse manner He was about two or three and fifty And a trifle below the middle size He wore a white neckerchief with long ends And a suit of scholastic black But his coat sleeves being a great deal too long And his trousers a great deal too short He appeared ill at ease in his clothes And as if he were in a perpetual state of astonishment At finding himself so respectable Mr. Squeers was standing in a box by one of the coffee-room fireplaces Fitted with one such table as is usually seen in coffee-rooms And two of extraordinary shapes and dimensions Made to suit the angles of the partition In a corner of the seat was a very small deal trunk Tied round with a scanty piece of cord And on the trunk was perched his lace-up half-boots And corduroy trousers dangling in the air A diminutive boy with his shoulders drawn up to his ears And his hands planted on his knees Who glanced timidly at the schoolmaster from time to time With evident dread and apprehension Half-pass three muttered Mr. Squeers turning from the window And looking sulkily at the coffee-room clock There'll be nobody here today Much vexed by this reflection Mr. Squeers looked at the little boy to see Whether he was doing anything he could beat him for As he happened not to be doing anything at all He merely boxed his ears and told him not to do it again At mid-summer, muttered Mr. Squeers, resuming his complaint I took down ten boys Ten twenties is two hundred pound I go back at eight o'clock to-morrow morning And I've got only three Orts is an ought Three twos is sixty pound What's come of all the boys What's parents got in their heads What does it all mean? Hear the little boy on top of the trunk Give a violent sneeze Hello, sir! Growl the schoolmaster turning round What's that, sir? Nothing, please, sir! Replied the little boy Nothing, sir! exclaimed Mr. Squeers Please, sir, I sneezed! Rejoined the boy, trembling till the little trunk shook under him Oh! sneezed, did you? retorted Mr. Squeers Then what did you say nothing for, sir? In default of a better answer to this question The little boy screwed a couple of knuckles into each of his eyes And began to cry Wherefore, Mr. Squeers knocked him off the trunk With a blow on one side of the face And knocked him on again with a blow on the other Wait till I get you down into Yorkshire, my young gentleman Said Mr. Squeers, and then I'll give you the rest Will you hold that noise, sir? Yes, sub the little boy Rubbing his face very hard with the beggar's petition Imprinted Calico Then do so at once, sir, said Squeers Do you hear? As this admonition was accompanied With a threatening gesture And uttered with a savage aspect The little boy rubbed his face harder As if to keep the tears back And beyond alternately sniffing and choking Gave no further vent to his emotions Mr. Squeers, said the waiter, looking in at this juncture Here's a gentleman asking for you at the bar Shall the gentleman in, Richard? Replied Mr. Squeers in a soft voice Put your anchor-chief in your pocket, you little scoundrel Or I'll murder you when the gentleman goes The schoolmaster had scarcely uttered these words In a fierce whisper when the stranger entered Affecting not to see him Mr. Squeers feigned to be intent upon mending a pen And offering benevolent advice to his youthful pupil My dear child, said Mr. Squeers All people have their trials This early trial of yours that's fit to make your little heart burst And your very eyes come out of your head with crying What is it? Nothing, less than nothing You are leaving your friends But you'll have a father in me, my dear And a mother in Mrs. Squeers At the delightful village of Doother Boys Near Greta Bridge in Yorkshire Where youth abhorred, clothed, booked, washed Furnished with pocket money Provided with all necessaries It is the gentleman, observed the stranger Stopping the schoolmaster in the rehearsal of his advertisement Mr. Squeers, I believe, sir Of the same, sir, said Mr. Squeers With an assumption of extreme surprise The gentleman, said the stranger That advertised in the Times newspaper A morning post, chronicle, herald, and advertiser Regarding the academy called Doother Boys Hall At the delightful village of Doother Boys Near Greta Bridge in Yorkshire Added Mr. Squeers You come on business, sir I see by my young friends How do you do, my little gentleman? And how do you do, sir? With this salutation Mr. Squeers patted the heads of two Hollow-eyed, small-boned little boys Whom the applicant had brought with him And waited for further communications I am in the oil-and-colour way That my name is Snorley, sir, said the stranger Squeers inclined his head as much as to say Under remarkably pretty name, too The stranger continued I have been thinking, Mr. Squeers, of placing My two boys at your school It's not for me to say so, sir, replied Mr. Squeers But I don't think you could possibly do a better thing Said the other Twenty pounds per annum, I believe, Mr. Squeers Guineas rejoined the schoolmaster With a persuasive smile Pounds for two, I think, Mr. Squeers Said Mr. Snorley, solemnly I don't think it could be done, sir, replied Squeers As if he'd never considered the proposition before Let me see. Four fives is twenty Double that and it all over Well, a pound, either way, shall not stand betwixt us You must recommend me to your connection, sir And make it up that way They're not great eaters, said Mr. Snorley All that doesn't matter at all, replied Squeers We don't consider the boys' appetites At our establishment This was strictly true They did not Every wholesome luxury, sir That Yorkshire can afford, continued Squeers Every beautiful moral that Mrs. Squeers can instill Every, in short, every comfort of a home That a boy could wish for Will be theirs, Mr. Snorley I should wish their morals to be particularly Attendant to, said Mr. Snorley I'm glad of that, sir, replied the schoolmaster Drawing himself up They've come to the right shop for morals, sir You are a moral man yourself, said Mr. Snorley I rather believe I am, sir, replied Squeers I have the satisfaction to know you are, sir, said Mr. Snorley I asked one of your references, and he said you were pious Well, sir, I hope I am a little in that line, replied Squeers I hope I am also rejoined the other Could I say a few words with you in the next box? By all means, rejoined Squeers, with a grin My dears, will you speak to your new playfellow a minute or two? That is one of my boys, sir Belling his name is A taunton boy, that, sir Is he indeed? rejoined Mr. Snorley Looking at the poor little urchin as if he were some extraordinary natural curiosity He goes down with me to-morrow, sir, said Squeers That's his luggage that he's a-sitting upon now Each boy is required to bring, sir, two suits of clothes Six shirts, six pair of stockings Two night-caps, two pocket-hank achieves Two pair of shoes, two hats, and a razor A razor, exclaimed Mr. Snorley, as they walked into the next box What for? To shave with, replied Squeers In a slow and measured tone There was not much in these three words, but there must have been something in the manner in which they were said to attract attention For the schoolmaster and his companion looked steadily at each other for a few seconds, and then exchanged a very meaning smile Snorley was a sleek, flat-nosed man, clad in somber garments and long black gaiters, and bearing in his countenance an expression of much mortification and sanctity So his smiling without any obvious reason was the more remarkable Up to what age do you keep boys at your school, then? he asked at length Just as long as their friends make the quarterly payments to my agent in town, or until such time as they run away, replied Squeers Letters understand each other, I see we may safely do so What are these boys, natural children? No, rejoined Snorley, meeting the gaze of the schoolmaster's one eye They ain't, I thought they might be, said Squeers coolly We have a good many of them, that boy's one Him in the next box, said Snorley Squeers nodded in the affirmative His companion took another peep at the little boy on the trunk, and turning round again, looked as if he were quite disappointed to see him so much like other boys, and said he should hardly have thought it He is, cried Squeers But about these boys of yours, you wanted to speak to me? Yes, replied Snorley The fact is, I am not their father, Mr. Squeers, I'm only their father in law Oh, is that it, said the schoolmaster, that explains it at once I was wondering what the devil you were going to send them to Yorkshire for Oh, I understand now You see, I have married the mother, pursued Snorley It's expensive keeping boys at home, and as she has a little money in her own right I'm afraid women are so very foolish, Mr. Squeers That she might be led to squander it on them, which would be their ruin, you know I see, returned Squeers, throwing himself back in his chair and waving his hand And this, resumed Snorley, has made me anxious to put them to some school, a good distance off, where there are no holidays None of those ill judged coming home twice a year, that unsettled children's minds so And where they may rough it a little, you comprehend? The payments regular and no questions asked, said Squeers, nodding his head That's it exactly, rejoined the other Morals strictly attended to, though, strictly, said Squeers Not too much writing home allowed, I suppose, said the father-in-law, hesitating None, except a circular at Christmas, to say they never were so happy and hoped they may never be sent for Rejoined Squeers Nothing could be better, said the father-in-law, rubbing his hands Then, as we understand each other, said Squeers Will you allow me to ask you whether you consider me a highly virtuous exemplary and well-conducted man in private life And whether, as a person whose business it is to take charge of youth You place the strongest confidence in my unimpeachable integrity, liberality, religious principles and ability Certainly I do, replied the father-in-law, reciprocating the schoolmaster's grin Perhaps you won't object to say that, if I make you a reference? Not the least in the world That's your sort, said Squeers, taking up a pen This is doing business, and that's what I like Having entered Mr. Snorley's address, the schoolmaster had next to perform the still more agreeable office of entering the receipt of the first quarter's payment in advance Which he had scarcely completed when another voice was heard, inquiring for Mr. Squeers Here he is, replied the schoolmaster, what is it? Only a matter of business, sir, said Ralph Niccolby, presenting himself closely followed by Nicholas There was an advertisement of yours in the papers this morning There was, sir, this way, if you please, said Squeers, who had by this time got back to the box by the fireplace Won't you be seated? Well, I think I will, replied Ralph, suiting the action to the word, and placing his hat on the table before him This is my nephew, sir, Mr. Nicholas Niccolby How do you do, sir, said Squeers? Nicholas Bowd said he was very well, and seemed very much astonished at the outward appearance of the proprietor of do the boys' hall, as indeed he was Perhaps you recollect me, said Ralph, looking narrowly at the schoolmaster You paid me a small account at each of my half-yearly visits to town for some years, I think, sir replied Squeers I did, rejoined Ralph For the parents of a boy named Dorker, who, unfortunately, unfortunately died at do the boys' hall, said Ralph, finishing the sentence I remember very well, sir, rejoined Squeers Ah, Mrs. Squeers was as partial to that lad as if he had been her own The attention, sir, that was bestowed upon that boy in his illness Dry toast and warm tea offered him every night and morning when he couldn't swallow anything A candle in his bedroom on the very night he died, the best dictionary sent up for him to lay his head upon I don't regret it, though, it's a pleasant thing to reflect that one did one's duty by him Ralph smiled, as if he meant anything but smiling, and looked round at the strangers present These are only some pupils of mine, said Wackford Squeers, pointing to the little boy on the trunk and the two little boys on the floor Who had been staring at each other without uttering a word, and writhing their bodies into most remarkable contortions according to the custom of little boys when they first become acquainted This gentleman, sir, is a parent who is kind enough to compliment me upon the course of education adopted at do the boys' hall Which is situated, sir, at the delightful village of do the boys near Greta Bridge in Yorkshire Where youth aborted, clothed, booked, washed, furnished with pocket money Yes, we know all about that, sir," interrupted Ralph testily It's in the advertisement You are very right, sir, it is in the advertisement, replied Squeers And in the matter of fact, besides, interrupted Mr. Snorley, I feel bound to assure you, sir, and I am proud to have this opportunity of assuring you That I consider Mr. Squeers a gentleman highly virtuous, exemplary, well conducted, and— I make no doubt of it, sir," interrupted Ralph, checking the torrent of recommendation No doubt of it at all Suppose we come to business With all my heart, sir, rejoined Squeers, never postponed business is the very first lesson we instill into our commercial pupils Master Belling, my dear, always remember that, do you hear? Yes, sir," repeated Master Belling He recollects what it is, does he? said Ralph Tell the gentleman, said Squeers Never repeated Master Belling Very good, said Squeers, go on Never repeated Master Belling again Very good indeed, said Squeers, yes Per? suggested Nicholas, good-naturedly Perform business said Master Belling Never performed business Very well, sir, said Squeers, darting a withering look at the culprit You and I will perform a little business on our private account, by and by And just now, said Ralph, we'd better transact our own, perhaps If you please, said Squeers Well, resumed Ralph, it's brief enough, soon broached, and I hope easily concluded You've advertised for an able assistant, sir Precisely so, said Squeers, and you really want one? Certainly, answered Squeers Here he is, said Ralph My nephew Nicholas, hot from school with everything he learnt there, fermenting in his head and nothing fermenting in his pocket, is just the man you want I'm afraid, said Squeers, perplexed with such an application from a youth of Nicholas's figure I'm afraid the young man won't suit me Yes he will, said Ralph, I know better Don't be cast down, sir, you'll be teaching all the young nobleman in Do the Boy's Hall in less than a week's time Unless this gentleman is more obstinate than I take him to be I fear, sir, said Nicholas, addressing Mr. Squeers, that you object to my youth and to my not being a master of arts The absence of a college degree is an objection, replied Squeers, looking as grave as he could and considerably puzzled No less by the contrast between the simplicity of the nephew and the worldly manner of the uncle than by the incomprehensible allusion to the young nobleman under his tuition Look here, sir, said Ralph, I'll put this matter in its true light in two seconds If you'll have the goodness, rejoined Squeers This is a boy, or a youth, or a lad, or a young man, or a hobbled ahoy, or whatever you like to call him Of eighteen or nineteen are thereabouts, said Ralph, that I see, observed the schoolmaster So do I, said Mr. Snorley, thinking it as well to back his new friend occasionally His father is dead, his holy ignorant of the world, has no resources, whatever, and wants something to do, said Ralph I recommend him to this splendid establishment of yours, as an opening which will lead him to fortune if he turns it to proper account Do you see that? Everybody must see that, replied Squeers, half imitating the sneer with which the old gentleman was regarding his unconscious relative I do, of course, said Nicholas, eagerly He does, of course, you observe, said Ralph, in the same dry, hard manner If any caprice of temper should induce him to cast aside this golden opportunity before he has brought it to perfection I consider myself absolved from extending any assistance to his mother and sister Look at him, think of the use he may be to you in half a dozen ways Now the question is whether for some time to come at all events he won't serve your purpose better than twenty of the kind of people you would get under ordinary circumstances Isn't that a question for consideration? Yes, it is, said Squeers, answering a nod of Ralph's head with a nod of his own Good! rejoined Ralph, let me have two words with you The two words were had apart In a couple of minutes Mr. Wackford Squeers announced that Mr. Nicholas Nicolby was, from that moment, thoroughly nominated to, and installed in, the office of first assistant master at Do the Boys Hall Your uncle's recommendation has done it, Mr. Nicolby, said Wackford Squeers Nicholas, overjoyed at his success, shook his uncle's hand warmly, and could almost have worshipped Squeers on the spot He's an odd-looking man, thought Nicholas What of that? Poor son was an odd-looking man, and so was Dr. Johnson All these bookworms are At eight o'clock to-morrow morning Mr. Nicolby said, Squeers, the coach starts You must be here at a quarter before as we take these boys with us Certainly, sir, said Nicholas, and you're fair down I have paid, growled Ralph So you'll have nothing to do but keep yourself warm Here was another instance of his uncle's generosity Nicholas felt his unexpected kindness so much that he could scarcely find words to thank him Indeed, he had not found half enough when they took leave of the schoolmaster and emerged from the Saracen's Head Gateway I shall be here in the morning to see you fairly off, said Ralph, no skulking Thank you, sir, replied Nicholas, I never shall forget this kindness Take care you don't, replied his uncle You had better go home now and pack up what you've got to pack Do you think you could find your way to Golden Square first? Certainly, said Nicholas, I can easily inquire Leave these papers with my clerk then, said Ralph, producing a small parcel and tell him to wait till I come home Nicholas cheerfully undertook the errand and bidding his worthy uncle an affectionate farewell which that warm-hearted old gentleman acknowledged by a growl hastened away to execute his commission He found Golden Square in due course Mr. Nox, who had stepped out for a minute or so to the public house was opening the door with a latch-key as he reached the steps What's that? inquired Nox, pointing to the parcel Papers from my uncle, replied Nicholas and you ought to have the goodness to wait until he comes home, if you please Uncle, cried Nox Mr. Nickelby, said Nicholas in explanation Come in, said Newman Without another word he led Nicholas into the passage and thence into the official pantry at the end of it where he thrust him into a chair and, mounting upon his high stool, sat with his arms hanging straight down by his sides gazing fixedly upon him as from a tower of observation There is no answer, said Nicholas, laying the parcel on a table beside him Newman said nothing, but folding his arms and thrusting his head forward so as to obtain a nearer view of Nicholas's face scanned his features closely No answer, said Nicholas, speaking very loud under the impression that Newman Nox was deaf Newman placed his hands upon his knees and without uttering a syllable continued the same close scrutiny of his companion's face This was such a very singular proceeding on the part of an utter stranger and his appearance was so extremely peculiar that Nicholas, who had a sufficiently keen sense of the ridiculous could not refrain from breaking into a smile as he inquired whether Mr. Nox had any commands for him Nox shook his head and sighed upon which Nicholas rose and remarking that he required no rest, bad him good morning It was a great exertion for Newman Nox and nobody knows to this day how he ever came to make it the other party being wholly unknown to him but he drew a long breath and actually said out loud, without once stopping that if the young gentleman did not object to tell he should like to know what his uncle was going to do for him Nicholas had not the least objection in the world but on the contrary was rather pleased to have an opportunity of talking on the subject which occupied his thoughts so he sat down again and his sanguine imagination warming as he spoke entered into a fervent and glowing description of all the honours and advantages to be derived from his appointment at that seat of learning do the boys' hall but what's the matter, are you ill? said Nicholas suddenly breaking off as his companion after throwing himself into a variety of uncouth attitudes thrust his hands under the stool and cracked his finger joints as if he were snapping all the bones in his hands Newman Nox made no reply but went on shrugging his shoulders and cracking his finger joints smiling horribly all the time and looking steadfastly at nothing out of the tops of his eyes in a most ghastly manner at first Nicholas thought the mysterious man was in a fit but on further consideration decided that he was in liquor under which circumstances he deemed it prudent to make off at once he looked back when he had got the street door open Newman Nox was still indulging in the same extraordinary gestures and the cracking of his fingers sounded louder than ever End of chapter 4