 Item number SCP-447 Object Class Safe Special Containment Procedures SCP-447-1 is to be kept within a 50-gallon clear plastic container at all times, monitored by camera by a security level 3 or higher staff member to prevent overflow. Area is to be maintained at level 1 clean room status to prevent contamination by foreign matter at a site at least 10 km away from any cemetery, morgue, or mortuary. Under no circumstances is SCP-447 to be allowed to come into contact with dead bodies. Because SCP-447-1 constantly excretes a viscous green slime, designated SCP-447-2, at a rate of approximately 10 cc per hour, a Class D personnel in good physical condition is to be detailed to harvest the excreted slime at least once per day. SCP-447-2 can be harvested using any appropriate equipment, so long as safety procedures are carefully adhered to in order to prevent on-site fatalities. Slime can be transported in an ordinary sealed glass or plastic container through any standard mode of transportation, provided that there is no risk of the slime coming into contact with a dead body en route. Although maledorous, the slime harvested from SCP-447-1 is non-toxic, non-corrosive, and non-radioactive. It is, in fact, perfectly safe so long as it does not come into contact with a dead body. The slime is edible, and reportedly makes a good salad dressing. Adding 10 cc of SCP-447-2 to 1 gallon of gasoline improves fuel efficiency by 150%. Furthermore, SCP-447-2 can be refined. See Appendix 447-C, distillation process, into a useful lubricant approved for use at all SCP Foundation installations, so long as said lubricant is never used to lubricate dead bodies. All staff assigned to SCP-447 are to be screened by polygraph for any suicidal, necrophiliac, or homicidal tendencies. In addition, all staff assigned to SCP-447 must be in good health and good physical condition, and must adhere to on-site safety regulations at all times. This is to minimize the risk of SCP-447 or its generated slime coming into contact with a dead body. Description SCP-447-1 is a green sphere approximately 5 cm in diameter, with a spongy surface texture and a weight of 1.37 kg. The object is worn to the touch, approximately the same temperature as a human body, although its core temperature is slightly higher. Personnel handling SCP-447-1 have reported no adverse effects, so long as SCP-447-1 does not come into contact with a dead body. SCP-447 was retrieved by Foundation agents on ████ in the city of ████, California, United States of America. The incident clearly illustrates the danger inherent in allowing either SCP-447 unit to come into contact with a dead body. For further information, please see Appendix 447-A, Retrieval Report. The dangers of allowing SCP-447-1 or ████ to come into contact with dead bodies have been clearly documented. Detailed eyewitness reports can be found in Appendix 447-B, prior incidents. To summarize, however, initial effects include Data Expunge per O5 Level Directive Research into this field forbidden upon pain of immediate termination or demotion to Class D. Please contact your supervisor for more details. Addendum 447-A, SCP-447 downgraded from Keeter to SAFE, so long as security measures are in place to prevent SCP-447 from coming into contact with dead bodies. Please see Experiment Log 447-A for further potential applications of SCP-447. Experiment Log 447-A Experiment Log for SCP-447-2, approved by O5, monitored by O5, O5, O5, Project Head, Dr. A. Cleff. All researchers working with SCP-447 are encouraged to append their results to this Experiment Log in the following format. Date Test Subject Procedure Results Notes Date Test Subject SCP-882 Procedure SCP-447-2 was refined into a lubricant. SCP-882 was temporarily removed from its seawater baths and SCP-447-2 applied as a lubricant to all joints and connections. Results Although SCP-447-2 was successful in reducing grinding and noise by 50%, it was also successful in removing rust from the structure. SCP-882 was immediately returned to its seawater bath and staff on hand were placed in quarantine for examination. Notes Let's not try that again, shall we? Dr. A. Cleff Date Test Subject One guinea pig Purchase from pet shop Procedure Subject was immersed in SCP-447-2 for five minutes. Care was taken to keep the subject's head above the level of the fluid to prevent the death of the test subject. Results Subjects furred became saturated with the fluid. Test item required several hours of grooming to remove SCP-447-2 from its fur. No further deleterious effects reported. Notes After careful washing to remove all traces of SCP-447-2 from its fur, subject was subsequently consumed by Agent ██████ who is of Peruvian descent. Agent ██████ reported that the meat was, in his own words, the best kuyi I've ever had. Approval for testing of SCP-447-2 as a marinade is currently on hold, pending review of whether or not a steak constitute the dead body. Date Test subject One tablet of SCP-500 Procedure Subject was immersed in SCP-447-2 for five minutes. Results In addition to curing all diseases, subject now also leaves the patient's breath feeling minty-fresh. Notes About what was expected. Seriously, guys, what were you thinking would happen? Dr. A. Kleff Date Test subject SCP-076-2 Procedure 500 mL of SCP-447-2 was added to 500 mL of still vodka, and two dozen ice cubes shaken well and strained into a pitcher. Approximately 0.2 liters of the mixture were poured into a glass with mint and a lime garnish. Mixer was taken to SCP-076-2, who was told, Hey, Abel, try this, it's pretty good. Results SCP-076-2 agreed that the mixture was, in his words, refreshing, but immediately lost interest when told of SCP-447-2's interaction with dead bodies. Notes Because of SCP-076-2's tendency to become and or create dead bodies, further contact with SCP-447 is forbidden. Date Test subject 1 pentium-4 computer, 1.5 GHz with Procedure Subject was immersed in SCP-447-2 for five minutes, with the power cord unplugged. Results Subject became caked in goo and no longer functions. Notes Whoever came up with this one should be kicked in the head. Dr. A. Clef Date Test subject SCP-063 Procedure Dr. B. used SCP-447 instead of toothpaste to brush his teeth with SCP-063 Results Given that Dr. B. doesn't need to use toothpaste to begin with, not much, really. Notes What is with you people? Dr. A. Clef Date Test subject 1 dead body Notes Test was aborted. The scientist you made the proposal has been reassigned as Class D personnel. Notes 2 Seriously guys, how hard is it to understand? No. Dead. Bodies. None. Nada. Nine. Don't think about it, don't joke about it, and most certainly, don't do it. Sheesh! Dr. A. Clef Date Test subject Dr. A. Clef Procedure Dr. A. Clef was ambushed in the hallway, dragged into a room with a bathtub full of SCP-447-2, and immersed for approximately 25 seconds. Results Subject became irate, and threatened to kill staff members carrying out the experiment if it were not for the fact that doing so would violate experimental protocol. Notes As soon as this mess is cleaned up, you will all be missed. Dr. A. Clef Date Test subject Potassium Nitrate and Sugar Mix Procedure A spoonful of SCP-447 was added to the mix of potassium nitrate and sugar in order to create a makeshift smoke grenade. Results Not only did the new mix slow down the combustion in such a way that the generated smoke was ten times greater and lasted approximately five minutes longer than the original mix, but it also colored the smoke with a green tint and left it with a minty smell. Notes Not bad for a $3 smoke grenade, although this wouldn't work so well in the field, the odds of the smoke reaching a dead body are just too high. Date Test subject Professor Snyder Procedure Two drops, one microliter each of SCP-447, one in each of Professor Snyder's eyes. Note that Professor Snyder has an astigmatism and normally wears corrective eyewear. Results Vision was clear and focused for six hours, though Professor Snyder reported to now see everything in a green tint. Each eyesight soon returned to normal, though both eyes are now a much more brilliant green than before. Notes Oh well, I'll look better with my glasses anyways, Professor Snyder. Notes Two This might be marketable with vision correction, but people might notice the extra green. Regardless, I'd like to request a couple of leaders of this stuff for personal use. Agent Mar Date Test subject 8 oz, 236 ml glass of skim milk Procedure Two teaspoons, 10 ml of SCP-447 thoroughly stirred into milk. Results Milk turned a bright green in color and was slightly thicker, with a slight minty flavor. Chemical announces later indicated that the concoction was now lactose-free. Notes You know, we might be able to market this stuff. I'm pretty sure dead bodies don't drink milk. Professor Snyder Date Test subject 15 lbs, 6.8 kg, quick dry cement Procedure Cement powder and 5 gallons, 19 liters of SCP-447 rotated inside a standard miniature cement mixture. Results The mixture took on a green tinge and solidified to a hardness 50% greater than normal concrete, though it took twice as long to dry. Notes It seems promising, but it's time-consuming to make and the risk of a dead body falling on a slab of this stuff is too high. Professor Snyder Date Test subject 2 cups of water, 475 ml. Procedure 1 tablespoon, 15 ml of SCP-447-2 thoroughly stirred into water. Results Water turned a green tint, but is otherwise normal. Contaminants reduced by 78% Notes This would make a good chlorine substitute for swimming pools. All the cleanliness of chlorinated water without the bleachy smell or hair discoloration. Too bad some swimmers are careless and turn into dead bodies. Dr. Ray Date Test subject 1 pizza produced by SCP-458 Procedure 1 small sauce cup of SCP-447-2 is held in one hand by Agent Pollinuck, while the other holds SCP-458. Results No outward change in the composition of SCP-447-2 is evident. SCP-458 produced a hamburger pizza on a cheese stuffed crust. After dipping a slice in SCP-447-2 and ingesting, Agent Pollinuck noted the taste of the substance was like a creamy Italian dressing. Following his consumption of the pizza, Agent Pollinuck's breath was said to be minty-fresh. He then proceeded to hoard the pizza box to himself for a few hours. Notes Though this brings up new indication into the nature of SCP-458, nothing remarkable has come to attention from this, other than pal's tendency to overeat. Slight psychological therapy may be in order. Dr. Dale Moreno I'd suggest we market this stuff with the dressing, but people eating lots of pizza on a regular basis tend to become dead bodies, sooooo. Agent Pollinuck Date ████ Test Subject One ██████ brand cellular phone Procedure Phone is placed in one small plastic container holding one liter of SCP-447-2 and left to sit for five minutes with power off and battery disconnected. Results Phone is ruined and subsequently destroyed in a nearby furnace. The ashes and fumes from the burning ████ phone were reported to be green and minty-incent. Notes Hey, has anyone seen my phone? Agent Pollinuck Date ████ Test Subject One Trojan Condom Procedure Dr. ████ placed a condom on his ████ and applied SCP-447-2 onto it. He then tested the SCP-447-2 covered condom by ████ results. Dr. ████ reported the procedure went really well. Notes I could market this as that kind of lubricant, but I don't think a warning label is enough to ensure that some necrophiliac doesn't use it on a dead body. Dr. ████ Date Test Subject Three Cars One 2006 Honda Civic One 2006 Dodge Stratus One 2006 Chevy Malibu Procedure SCP-447 was used as liquids in each vehicle mixed equally with oil, used as window washer fluid and mixed into the radiator. Results Each car had each liquid added individually. The various components of each engine performed with superb results. The Honda's radiator did not overheat until temperatures reached in excess of 340°C, more than twice the average temperature of a vehicle. The water seemed to be tinted green even after being drained. The Stratus' windshield was cleaned to factory new perfection and resisted dirt and grimerter use. Side effect described as green tinted glass. The Malibu's engine components were lubricated to perfection and lasted over 160,000 miles on a dynamometer. Exhaust was tinted green. Notes Impressive, but given the intelligence of some drivers, the chance of dead bodies contaminated the sample is too high. Dr. ████ Date Test Subject One Role of Brand Ducktape Procedure SCP-447 was applied to the adhesive side of a strip of duct tape, which was subsequently attached to a cement brick. Results Tape had bonded to the cement with twice the strength expected of a normal strip. Cement brick was left with a green stain in the shape of a strip of tape. Notes This could be marketable, but with all the possible uses for duct tape comes the even greater risk of coming into contact with dead bodies. Dr. Slav Date Test Subject Nuclear Reactor at Site ████ Procedure Daring the regular maintenance Leaders of SCP-447-2 were added to the moderator material in the reactor. Results The moderation of neutrons was increased by ████ leading to very high thermal output and temperature alarms being activated. The reactor's chamber gained a green tinge and faint mint smell. Notes Effective But the chance of an explosion and radioactive slime reaching dead bodies over a large area is too high. Dr. Katsuka Notes too Dr. Katsuka has been incarcerated and sent to a corrective facility for unauthorized and extremely dangerous testing. O5 Date Test Subject One Colt Python revolver was an 8-inch barrel. Procedure Gun was taken apart for regular cleaning. The cleaning cloth was put in a small tub of SCP-447-2 and soaked for 5 minutes. Cleaned as normally would. Lubrication replaced with SCP-447-2. Results Gun fired with a 35% reduction in recoil. Testing found bullets fired had their maximum speed increased by nearly 210% and acceleration increased by 55%. Accuracy was increased by 3.7% at close range and by 486% at maximum range. Max range was also increased by 40%. Gun smoke was green intent. Interestingly, unspent ammunition put into the gun was stated to smell minty. And had a green tint. Despite this, when these bullets were removed and fired from another gun, said gun did not receive any benefits. Notes The more testing we do, the more I begin to wonder how more advanced technology would be. If only this damn dead body curse didn't exist. This stuff would benefit us in so many ways. This test shows that guns would become extremely efficient. But then again, guns are used to kill people. So you will run into a dead guy at some point. Notes too. I suppose we COULD use this in a combat situation, but only as a last resort. And even then, we'd have to be careful. Dr. Clinton Date Test Subject One Leader of Candle Wax Procedure Wax was added to SCP-447-2 in a 2-1 ratio of waxed SCP-447-2. A candle wick was dipped into the wax to create a candle. Results The candle gave off 50% more light at a distance of 10 meters, and also gave off a strong smell of mint as it burned. However, the candle burnt out in roughly half the time of a candle made solely out of wax, and was far more difficult to extinguish, requiring a CO2 fire extinguisher to put out. Notes While it may seem like a good idea to market it, the mint smell was far too strong to the point of being nauseating. The candle also burns out too quickly to be used as a source of light as well. I suppose you could use it as an air freshener, but seeing how dangerous fire can be, and how hard it is to put out, well… Let's just say there's a good chance of it coming into contact with a dead body somewhere down the line. Date Test Subject SCP-586 Procedure 10 mL of SCP-447-2 was directly apple to SCP-586. Results No noticeable cha-chas to structure, composition, or effect of SCP-586 were noted. However, SCP-586 became more violently luminescent in its shades of gray, and was reported afterwards to spell strongly a mint. Notes I see no point in continuing this line of zesting, but it is safe. Very little chance of dank bodies here. Dr. Date Test Subject SCP-914 Procedure One liter of SCP-447-2 in a cylindrical glass container was placed in SCP-914 and refined on the rough setting. Results 10 cylindrical glass containers, all exactly one-tenth the mass of the original container, each holding 100 mL of SCP-447-2. Notes Well, what did you expect? Dr. Date Test Subject SCP-914 Procedure One liter of SCP-447-2 in a cylindrical glass container was placed in SCP-914 and refined on the coarse setting. Result One liter of SCP-447-2 in a cylindrical glass container. All SCP-447-2 recovered in this manner, gradually degraded to an unknown fluid, with similar composition to Terciop's Truncatus. With a half-life of two hours. Notes After most of it has sufficiently degraded, I suggest this new fluid to be run through similar tests as were conducted before. Dr. Notes Two Agent Headcook at Site Reports of this new fluid has a simple and rustic, yet surprisingly compelling flavor, and has requested five liters for culinary use. Request denied Date Test Subject SCP-914 Procedure One liter of SCP-447-2 in a cylindrical glass container was placed in SCP-914 and refined on the 1-1 setting. Results A dead body Notes Further cross-testing of SCP-447-2 with SCP-914 has been enjoined by order of 05-Date Test Subject Two liters of Brand Paint Primer Procedure 250 mL of SCP-447-2 was mixed thoroughly into the paint primer. Results The primer took on a green hue and started to smell minty. The resulting paint was approximately 200% more opaque when compared to a different can of primer. Notes This would be marketed in home improvement stores, but the chances of a dead body coming into contact with painted surfaces is too high. Plus, the smell of mint is overpowering when a whole room is painted with the primer. Date Test Subject One pair of Adidas brand running shoes, size 12 Procedure Ten liters of SCP-447-2 was poured into a standard hardware store bucket. The pair of Adidas shoes were submerged in SCP-447-2 for five minutes and removed. Shoes were then applied to researcher Ortiz's feet. Results Rubber and sole increased by 37% in density, allowing subject to run slightly faster. Shoes laces became 13% more rigid, slightly decreasing the chance of the not coming unraveled. Shoes emitted a minty scent. Notes We could market this as some kind of shoe conditioner, but I seem to be aware of the fact that many dead bodies wear shoes. Researcher Ortiz Date Test Subject A variety of clothing belonging to Dr. Levy Procedure 100mL of SCP-447-2 was used as a substitute for fabric conditioner in a washing machine. Dr. Levy's clothes were washed for 30 minutes, after which the clothes were dried and worn by Dr. Levy. Results The clothing seemed more resistant to rips and tears, as well as shrinking. Dr. Levy reported that the clothes felt more comfortable than before. Clothes took on a slight green tinge, as well possessing a slightly minty smell. Notes We could market this as a fabric conditioner, though some people might not like the green tinge and the smell. Plus there is the problem that dead bodies are often clothed, Dr. Levy. Date Test Subject Dr. Heikula's Hand Procedure A drop of SCP-447-2 was placed on the back of the subject's hand via an eyedropper. Results Dr. Heikula proceeded to slap a nearby researcher across the face. The researchers said that they had a minty taste in their mouth after being slapped. Dr. Heikula proceeded to do the same to someone else, but the effect had worn off. Notes First of all, why? Second of all, why did we let him do it? Dr. A. Clef Date Test Subject Brand Ballpoint Pen Procedure The ink cartridge was infused with 0.5 mL of SCP-447-2. Results Anything written with the pen became approximately 27% clearer and gained a greenish tint. A slight minty smell also started emanating from the ink. Notes This could be great to market to children. Sent to pens. And I don't think there's much of a likelihood of it coming into contact with dead bodies, although you can never be too safe. Dr. Ahirna Date Test Subject 1-11045-T-5 Wire Stripper Procedure Metal portion of the subject was submerged in SCP-447-2 for 30 seconds and used a strip 12 AWG copper NMS cable. Results Any insulation was easily peeled off regardless of improper use of the tool, but stuck to the T-5s and had to be removed by hand. Notes This would make the lives of new electricians so much easier. Unfortunately, they could be careless and get shocked to death while holding on to this. Dr. A. Clef Date Test Subject 1-Standard-sized tub of Legos Procedure Tub was filled and submerged in SCP-447-2 for 1 minute and used to create a variety of items. Results Builders state that, the direction just kind of came to us. We don't even need to look at the manual. Bricks also turn lime green and have a faint mint smell. Notes The only reason I say we shouldn't market this is the fact a small child could choke on it. Then we have an entire new thing to deal with. Dr. Markman Formerly requested this tub for recreational use. They're really addicting. Dr. Sanders Accepted Have fun Dr. Markman Date Test Subject One of each Foundation Security keycard tier leading up to four. Procedure Keycards were left to dip in SCP-447-2 for 1 hour, then tested on pre-made keycard testing doors. Results All keycards had their numbers erased and replaced with the level 2 tiers above their own. 1-3, 2-4, 3-5, 4-2-N, ████ Card All cards performed with their respective new numbers. Notes Requested an extra level 4 keycard and one leader of SCP-447-2. Dr. Sanders Haha, no. Dr. Markman Date Test Subject Two AA batteries Procedure Batteries were submerged in SCP-447-2 for 30 minutes, then inserted into Dr. Clinton's flashlight, which was then shown until batteries were out of power. Results Both batteries lasted roughly 28% longer than usual and were tinted a light green. The light from the flashlight was also a light green. Notes All right, this we can probably use. Pretty sure dead bodies can't use batteries, but someone may want to make sure the green light doesn't have the same properties as the normal slime, Dr. Clinton. Nope. Batteries have a tendency to cause dead bodies when around babies, Dr. Engelhardt. Date Test Subject 10-M202-A1 flash rockets Procedure Rockets were coated in SCP-447-2 for 50 minutes, loaded into an M202-A1 flash to test explosion size, flame duration, and accuracy. Results The explosion size remained the same. The flame's post detonation lasted 10% longer, along with having a greenish tint. No temperature difference is noted. No difference in accuracy. Notes Well, the accuracy of it isn't improved because it's not the rocket launcher itself, it's the rockets. Weapons Researcher Person Weapons Researcher Person It is requested that you do not do this again. Weapons have a way of creating dead bodies. Actually, wait a moment. How did you even get in? With a weapon. Senior Researcher I have my ways. Weapons Researcher Person Date Test Subject 1. Brand Earn Procedure Earn was polished on the inside and outside with a mix of brand polish and SCP-447-2 at a 3-to-1 ratio. Results Experiments are interrupted just as ashes from a dead body were about to be put in. Notes Ashes from dead bodies are dead bodies too. I don't care how curious you are, but no ashes from dead bodies. Dr. A. Clef Date Test Subject SCP-999 Procedure SCP-999 was submerged in SCP-447-2 for 2 minutes. Results SCP-999 exhibited a green tint for 5 hours, and, in addition to curing depression, gave the subject green eyes. Notes SCP-999 looked pretty cool, and we may be able to do this again. We could even reconsider marketing it as an antidepressant. Dr. Fall No Dr. A. Clef Date Test Subject 1. Katana Procedure The Katana was submerged in SCP-447-2 for 5 minutes. Results The Katana emerged with a distinct green tinge to the blade. Dr. Clef confiscated the Katana before any tests could be conducted on its performance. Notes Are you maniacs trying to give me a nervous breakdown? The whole point of a sword is to kill people! Dr. A. Clef Date Test Subject One vial of SCP-447-2, aged 30 days. Procedure The vial was submerged in SCP-447-2 for 5 minutes. After that period of time, the vial was removed, and contents poured into the top of the SCP-447-2 solution for 5 minutes. Results Vial was tightly sealed, yet simultaneously easy to remove. The solution within the vial turned a bright green, and gave off an extremely minty odor, now designated SCP-447-3. Notes I really thought this was going to go nowhere. Maybe you slack-jawed yokels have some sort of a brain in that FedEx box up ahead. Have the solution of SCP-447-3 sent to my office. I would like to personally conduct an experiment with it. Dr. A. Clef Date Test Subject Two $1 bills Procedure One vial was submerged in a cup of SCP-447-2 for 5 minutes. The other submerged for the same amount of time within a cup of SCP-447-3, referenced above. Results The vial submerged in SCP-447-2 became a $100 bill. The bill submerged within SCP-447-3 became a $2,500 bill, which, according to the U.S. Hall of Records, never existed, yet is completely usable in a marketplace environment. The bill was removed from circulation shortly after by an MTF team, by command of Dr. A. Clef. Notes Why would you send that into circulation? Who knows what could happen to that bill out there? Dr. A. Clef Oh, I wonder what we can do with this 447-3 stuff. Maybe we can make better and better liquid, like inception, Dr. Bright. Request denied. We're playing with forces we don't understand here, Jack. Dr. A. Clef Dr. Bright Date Test Subject A copy of The Phantom Toll Booth Procedure Book was immersed in SCP-447-2 for 20 seconds. Results Book became green, and gained a minty smell. Notes I realized a bit too late that paper might constitute as the dead body of a tree. We really dodged a bullet on that one. Still, let's not try to push the envelope any further. Dr. Norms