 Chapter 1 of Marriage, Vol. 1. Love, a word by superstition, thought a God, by use turned to an humour, by self-will, made a flattering madness, Alexander and Kompaspe. Come hither, child, said the old Earl of Cortland to his daughter, as in obedience to his summons she entered his study. Come hither, I say, I wish to have some serious conversation with you, so dismiss your dogs, shut the door, and sit down here. Lady Juliana rang for the footman to take Venus, bade Pluto, be quiet like a darling, under the sofa, and, taking Cupid in her arms, assured his lordship he need fear no disturbance from the sweet creatures, and that she would be all attention to his commands, kissing her cherished pug as she spoke. You are now, I think, seventeen, Juliana, said his lordship in a solemn important tone, and a half, papa. It is therefore time you should be thinking of establishing yourself in the world. Have you ever turned your thoughts that way? Lady Juliana cast down her beautiful eyes and was silent. As I can give you no fortune, continued the Earl, swelling with ill-suppressed importance, as he proceeded, you have perhaps no great pretentions to a very brilliant establishment. Oh, none in the world, papa, eagerly interrupted Lady Juliana, a mere competence with the man of my heart. The man of a fiddle-stick, exclaimed Lord Cortland in a fury, what the devil of you to do with a heart I should like to know! There's no talking to a young woman now about marriage, but she is all in a blaze about hearts and darts and—and—but hark, ye child! I'll suffer no daughter of mine to play the fool with her heart, indeed! She shall marry for the purpose for which matrimony was ordained amongst people of birth. That is, for the aggrandizement of her family, the extending of their political influence, for becoming, in short, the depository of their mutual interest. These are the only purposes for which persons of rank ever think of marriage. And pray, what is your heart to say to that? Nothing, papa, replied Lady Juliana, in a faint, dejected tone of voice, have done Cupid, addressing her favorite, who was amusing himself in pulling and tearing the beautiful lace veil that partly shaded the head of his fair mistress. I thought not, resumed the Earl in a triumphant tone. I thought not, indeed! And as this victory over his daughter put him in unusual good humor, he condescended to sport a little with her curiosity. And pray, can this wonderful wise heart of yours inform you who it is you're going to obtain for a husband? Had Juliana dared to utter the wishes of that heart, she would have been at no loss for a reply. But she saw the necessity of the stimulation, and after naming such of her admirers as were most indifferent to her, she declared herself quite at a loss, and begged her father to put an end to her suspense. Now, what would you think of the Duke of El, asked the Earl, in a voice of half-smothered exultation and delight? The Duke of El, repeated Lady Juliana, with a scream of horror and surprise. Surely, papa, you cannot be serious. Why, he's red-haired and squints, and he's as old as you. If he were as old as the devil and as ugly too, interrupted the enraged Earl, he should be your husband. And may I perish if you shall have any other. The youthful beauty burst into tears, while her father traversed the apartment with an inflamed and wrathful visage. If it had been anybody but that odious Duke, sobbed the lovely Juliana. If it had been anybody but that odious Duke, repeated the Earl mimicking her, they should not have had you. It has been my soul's study ever since I saw your brother settled, to bring about this alliance. And when this is accomplished, my utmost ambition will be satisfied. So no more whining the affair has settled, and all that remains for you to do, is to study to make yourself agreeable to his grace, and to sign the settlements. No such mighty sacrifice, me, thinks, when repaid with the ducal coronet, the most splendid jewels, the finest equipages, and the largest jointure of any woman in England. Lady Juliana raised her head and wiped her eyes. Lord Cortland perceived the effect his eloquence had produced upon the childish fancy of his daughter, and continued to expatiate upon the splendid joys that awaited her in a union with a nobleman of the Duke's rank and fortune, till at length, dazzled, if not convinced, she declared herself satisfied that it was her duty to marry whoever papa pleased, but an assay escaped her as she contrasted her noble suitor with her handsome lover. But if I should marry him, papa, I am sure I shall never be able to love him. The Earl smiled at her childish simplicity, as he assured her, that was not at all necessary, that love was now entirely confined to the Canile, that it was very well for ploughmen and dairy-maids to marry for love, but for a young woman of rank to think of such a thing was plebeian in the extreme. Lady Juliana did not entirely subscribe to the arguments of her father, but the gay and glorious vision that floated in her brain stifled for a while the pleadings of her heart, and with a sparkling eye and an elastic step she hastened to prepare for the reception of the Duke. For a few weeks the delusion lasted. Lady Juliana was flattered with the homage she received as a future duchess, she was delighted with the eclat that attended her, and charmed with the daily presence showered upon her by her noble suitor. Well really, favel, she said to her maid one day, as she clasped on her beautiful arm a resplendent bracelet. It must be owned that the Duke has a most exquisite taste in trinkets. Don't you think so? And, do you know, I don't think him so very, very ugly. When we are married I mean to make him get a brutus, cork his eyebrows, and have a set of teeth. But just then the smiling eyes, curling hair, and finely formed person of a certain captivating Scotsman rose to view in her mind's eye. And with a peevish pshaw she threw the bubble aside. Educated for the sole purpose of forming a brilliant establishment of catching the eye and captivating the senses, the cultivation of her mind, or the correction of her temper, had formed no part of the system by which that aim was to be accomplished. Under the auspices of a fashionable mother, and an obsequious governess, the forward petulance of childhood, fostered and strengthened by indulgence and submission, had gradually ripened into that selfish and caprice which now in youth formed the prominent features of her character. The Earl was much too engrossed by affairs of importance to pay much attention to anything so perfectly insignificant as the mind of his daughter. Her person, he had predetermined, should be entirely at his disposal, and therefore contemplated with delight the uncommon beauty which already distinguished it, not with the fond partiality of parental love, but with the heartless satisfaction of a crafty politician. The mind of Lady Juliana was consequently the sport of every passion that by turn to sales it. Now swayed by ambition, and now softened by love, the struggle was violent, but it was short. A few days before the one which was to seal her fate, she granted an interview to her lover, who young, thoughtless, and enamored as herself, easily succeeded in persuading her to elope with him to Scotland. There, at the altar of Vulcan, the beautiful daughter of the Earl of Cortland gave her hand to her handsome but penniless lover, and there vowed to emulate every ambitious desire, every sentiment of vanity and high-born pride. Yet a sigh arose as she looked on the filthy hut, sooty priests and ragged witnesses, and thought of the special license, splendid saloon, and bridal pomp that would have attended her union with the Duke. But the rapturous expressions which burst forth from the impassioned Douglas, made her forget the gaudy pleasures of pomp and fashion. Amid the silven scenes of the neighbouring lakes, the lovers sought a shelter, and mutually charmed with each other, time flew for a while on downy pinions. At the end of two months, however, the enamored husband began to suspect that the lips of his angel Julia could utter very silly things, while the fond bride on her part discovered that though her adored Henry's figure was symmetry itself, yet it certainly was deficient in a certain air, a je ne sais quoi, that marks the man of fashion. How I wish I had my pretty cupid here, said her ladyship with a sigh one day as she lalled on a sofa. If she had so many pretty tricks, he would have helped to amuse us, and make the time pass. For really, this place grows very stupid and tiresome, don't you think so, love? Most confoundedly so, my darling, replied her husband, yawning sympathetically as he spoke. Then suppose I make one more attempt to soften papa, and be received into favour again. With all my heart. Very sorry for what I have done, asked her ladyship with a sigh. You know, I did not say that in my first letter. I do, and if it will serve any purpose, you may say that I am no less so. In a few days the letter was returned in a blank cover, and by the same post Douglas saw himself superseded in the Gazette, being absent without leave. There now remained but one course to pursue. And that was to seek refuge at his father's, in the Highlands of Scotland. At the first mention of it, Lady Juliana was transported with joy, and begged that a letter might be instantly dispatched containing the offer of a visit. She had heard the Duchess of Em declare, nothing could be so delightful as the style of living in Scotland. The people were so frank and gay, and the manners so easy and engaging. Oh, it was delightful! And then Lady Jane G., and Lady Mary L., and a thousand other lords and ladies she knew, were also charmed with the country, and also sorry to leave it. Then dear Henry's family must be so charming! An old castle, too, was her delight. She would feel quite at home while wandering through its long galleries, and she quite loved old pictures, and armour, and tapestry. And then her thoughts reverted to her father's magnificent mansion in Deeshire. At length an answer arrived, containing a cordial invitation from the old Laird to spend the winter with them at Glenford Castle. All impatient to quit the scenes of their short-lived felicity, they bade a hasty adieu to the now fading beauties of Windermere, and, full of hope and expectation, eagerly turned towards the bleak hills of Scotland. They stopped for a short time at Edinburgh to provide themselves with a carriage and some other necessaries. There, too, she fortunately met with an English Abigail and Footman, who, for double wages, were prevailed upon to attend her to the Highlands, which, with the addition of two dogs, a tame squirrel and macaw, completed the establishment. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Patti Cunningham. Marriage. Volume 1. By Susan Edmundstone Ferrier. Chapter 2 What transport to retrace our early plays? Our easy bliss. When each thing joy supplied, the woods, the mountains, and the warbling maze of the wild brooks. Thompson. Many were the dreary moors and ragged mountains her ladyship had to encounter in her progress to Glenfern Castle. And but for the hope of the new world that awaited her beyond those formidable barriers, her delicate frame and still more sensitive feelings must have sunk beneath the horrors of such a journey. But she remembered the Duchess had said and the face of the country, as well as the lower orders of the people, frightful. But what significance those things? There were balls and sailing-parties and rowing-matches and shooting-parties and fishing-parties and parties of every description, and the certainty of being recompensed by the festivities of Glenfern Castle reconciled her to the ruggedness of the approach. Douglas had left his paternal home in native Hills when only eight years of age. A rich relation of his mother's happening to visit them at that time took a fancy to the boy, and under the promise of making him his heir, had prevailed on his parents to part with him. At a proper age he was placed in the guards, and had continued to maintain himself in the favour of his benefactor until his imprudent marriage, which had irritated the old bachelor so much that he instantly disinherited him and refused to listen to any terms of reconciliation. The impressions which the scene of his infancy had left upon the mind of the young Scotsman, it may easily be supposed, were of a pleasing description. He expatiated to his Juliana on the wild but august scenery that surrounded his father's castle, and associated with the idea the boyish exploits, which though faintly remembered, still served to endear them to his heart. He spoke of the time when he used to make one of a numerous party on the lake, and when tired of sailing on its glassy surface to the sound of soft music, they would land at some lovely spot, and after partaking of their banquet beneath a spreading tree, conclude the day by a dance on the grass. Lady Juliana would exclaim, The conversation was interrupted, for just at that moment they had gained the summit of a very high hill, and the post-boy, stopping to give his horse's breath, turned round to the carriage, pointing at the same time with a significant gesture to a tall, then grey house, something resembling a tower that stood in the veil beneath. A small, sullen-looking lake was in front of the house, and the house was in front of it. Something resembling a tower that stood in the veil beneath. A small, sullen-looking lake was in front, on whose banks grew neither tree nor shrub. Behind rose a chain of rugged, cloud-capped hills, on the declivities of which were some faint attempts at young plantations, and the only level ground consisted of a few dingy turnip fields enclosed with stone walls, or dykes, as the post-boy called them. It was now November. It was raw and cold, and a thick, drizzling rain was beginning to fall. A dreary stillness reigned all around, broken only at intervals by the screams of the sea-fowl that hovered over the lake, on whose dark and troubled waters was dimly decried a little boat, plied by one solitary being. What a scene, at length Juliana exclaimed, shuddering, as she spoke. Good God! What a scene! How I pity the unhappy wretches who are doomed to dwell in such a place! And yonder hideous grim house! It makes me sick to look at it! For heaven's sake, bid him drive on! Another significant look from the driver made color mount to Douglas' cheek as he stammered out. Surely it can't be, yet somehow I don't know. Pray my lad, setting down one of the glasses, and addressing the post-boy. What is the name of that house? Huss, repeated the driver. Calle ven a huss. Son's good glin-ferred castle! Lady Juliana, not understanding a word he said, sat silently wondering at her husband's curiosity respecting such a wretched-looking place. Impossible! You must be mistaken, my lad! Why, what's become of all the fine wood that used to surround it? Can you mean a wean old furs? There is some of them to the fore yet. Pointing to two or three tall, bare, scathe scotch furs that scarcely bent their stubborn heads to the wind, that now began to howl around them. I insist upon it that you were mistaken. You must have wandered from the right road, cried the now-alarm Douglas in a loud voice, which vainly attempted to conceal his agitation. Will soon see that, replied the phlegmatic scot, who having rested his horses and affixed a drag to the wheel, was about to proceed, when Lady Juliana, who now began to have some vague suspicion of the truth, called him to stop, an almost breathless with alarm inquired of her husband the meaning of what had passed. He tried to force a smile, as he said. It seems our journey has nearly ended. That fellow persists in asserting that this is glin-fern. Though I can scarcely think it. If it is, it is strangely altered since I left it twelve years ago. For a moment Lady Juliana was too much alarm to make a reply. Pale and speechless, she sank back in the carriage. But the motion of it as it began to proceed roused her to a sense of her situation, and she burst into tears and exclamations. The driver, who attributed it all to fears at descending the hill, assured her that she need not be the least feared, for there were not walk and ear-beast between that and Johnny Grotesus, and that they would hay her at the castle door in a crack, again they were aunts down the bray. Douglas's attempts to soothe his high-born bride were not more successful than those of the driver. In vain he made use of every endearing epithet and tender expression, and recalled the time when she used to declare that she could dwell with him in a desert. Her only replies were bitter reproaches and upbradings for his treachery and deceit, mingled with floods of tears, and interrupted by hysterical sobs. Provoked at her folly, yet softened by her extreme distress, Douglas was in the utmost state of perplexity. Now ready to give way to a paroxysm of rage. Then, yielding to the natural goodness of his heart, he sought to soothe her into composure, and at length, with much difficulty, succeeded in changing her passionate indignation into silent dejection. That no fresh objects of horror or disgust might appear to disturb this calm, the blinds were pulled down, and in this state they reached Glenfern Castle. But there the friendly veil was necessarily withdrawn, and the first object that presented itself to the high-bred English woman was an old man clad in a short tartan coat and striped woolen nightcap, with blear eyes and shaking hands, who vainly strove to open the carriage door. Douglas soon extricated himself and assisted his lady to a light. Then, accosting the venerable domestic as old Donald, asked him if he recollected him. Well that, well that, Master Harry, and your welcome home, and ye too, Bonnie Sir, addressing Lady Julianna, who was calling to her footmen to follow her with the macaw. Then, tottering before them, he led the way, while her ladyship followed leaning on her husband, her squirrel on her other arm, preceded by her dogs barking with all their might, and attended by the macaw, screaming with all his strength. And in this state was the Lady Julianna ushered into the drawing-room of Glenfern Castle. CHAPTER III What can be worse than to dwell here? Paradise lost. It was a long, narrow, low-roofed room, with a number of small windows that admitted feeble lights in every possible direction. The scanty furniture bore every appearance of having been constructed at the same time as the edifice, and the friendship thus early formed, still seemed to subsist, as the high-back work-chairs adhered most pertinaciously to the grey walls, on which hung, in narrow black frames, some of the venerable ancestors of the Douglas family. A fire, which appeared to have been newly kindled, was beginning to burn, but previous to showing itself in flame, had chosen to vent itself in smoke, with which the room was completely filled, and the open windows seemed to produce no other effect than that of admitting the rain and wind. At the entrance of the stranger a flock of females rushed forward to meet them. Douglas good-humoredly submitted to being hugged by three long-chinned spinsters, whom he recognized as his aunts, and warmly saluted, five awkward purple girls, he guessed to be his sisters. While Lady Julianna stood the image of despair and scarcely conscious, admitted in silence to the civilities of her new relations, till at length, sinking into a chair, she endeavored to conceal her agitation by calling to the dogs and caressing her macaw. The Laird, who had been hastily summoned from his farming operations, now entered. He was a good-looking old man, with something of the air of a gentleman, in spite of the inelegance of his dress, his rough manner, and provincial accent. After warmly welcoming his son, he advanced to his beautiful daughter-in-law, and, taking her in his arms, bestowed a loud and hearty kiss on each cheek. Then, observing the paleness of her complexion and the tears that swam in her eyes, what, not frightened for our Highland Hills, my lady? Come, cheer up! Trust me, you'll find as warm hearts among them as on a ye he left in your fine English policies, shaking her delicate fingers in his hard muscular grip as he spoke. The tears, which had with difficulty been hitherto suppressed, now burst in torrents from the eyes of the Highbred Beauty as she leaned her cheek against the back of a chair and gave way to the anguish which mocked control. To the loud anxious inquiries and oppressive kindness of her homely relatives, she made no reply, but stretching out her hands to her husband sobbed, Take, oh, take me from this place! Mortified and ashamed, and provoked at a behavior so childish and absurd, Douglas could only stammer out something about Lady Juliana having been frightened and fatigued, and requesting to be shown to their apartment. He supported her almost lifeless to it, while his aunts followed, all three prescribing different remedies in a breath. For Heaven's sake, take them from me, faintly articulated Lady Juliana, as she shrank from the many hands that were alternately applied to her pulse and forehead. After repeated entreaties and plausible excuses from Douglas, his aunts at length consented to withdraw. He then exerted all the rhetoric he was master of to reconcile his bride to the situation love and necessity had thrown her into. But in vain he employed reasoning, caresses, and threats. The only answers he could extort were tears and entreaties to be taken from a place where she declared she felt it impossible to exist. If you wish my death, Harry, said she, in a voice almost inarticulate from excess of weeping, oh, kill me quickly, and do not leave me to linger out my days and perish at last with misery here. For Heaven's sake, tell me what you would have me do, said her husband, softened to pity by her extreme distress, and I swear that in everything possible I will comply with your wishes. Oh, fly then, stop the horses, and let us return immediately. Do run, dearest Harry, or they will be gone, and we shall never get away from this odious place. Where would you go, asked he, with affected calmness? Oh, anywhere, no matter where, so as we do but get away from hints, we can be at no loss. None in the world interrupted Douglas with a bitter smile as long as there is a prison to receive us. See, continued he, throwing a few shillings down on the table, there is every sixpence I possess in the world, so help me, Heaven. Lady Julianna stood aghast. At that instant the English Abigail burst into the room, and in a voice choking with passion she requested her discharge that she might return with the driver who had brought them there. A pretty way of travelling, to be sure it will be, continued she, to go bumping behind a dirty chaise driver, but better to be shook to a jelly altogether than to stay amongst such a set of otentodes. What do you mean, inquired Douglas, as soon as the voluble Abigail allowed him an opportunity of asking? Why my meaning, sir, is to leave this here place immediately. Not that I have any objections either to my lady or you, sir, but to be sure it was a sad day for me that I engaged myself to her ladyship. Little did I think that a lady of distinction would be coming to such a poor, pitiful place as this. I am sure I thought I should have swooned when I was showed the hole where I was to sleep. At the bare idea of this indignity to her person the fury of the incensed fair one blazed forth with such strength as to choke her utterance. Amazement had hitherto kept Lady Julianna silent, for to such scenes she was a stranger. Born in an elevated rank, reared in state, accustomed to the most obsequious attention and never approached but with the respect due rather to a divinity than to a mortal, the strain of vulgar insolence that now assailed her was no less new to her ears than shocking to her feelings. With a voice and look that odd the women into obedience she commanded her to quit her presence for ever, and then no longer able to suppress the motions of insulted pride, wounded vanity, and indignant disappointment she gave way to a violent fit of hysterics. In the utmost perplexity the unfortunate husband by turns cursed the hour that had given him such a wife, now tried to soothe her into composure, but at length, seriously alarmed at the increasing attack, he called loudly for assistance. In a moment the three aunts and five sisters all rushed together into the room, full of wonder, exclamation, and inquiry. Many were the remedies that were tried and the experiments that were suggested, and at length the violence of passion exhausted itself, and a faint sob or deep sigh succeeded the hysteric scream. Douglas now attempted to account for the behaviour of his noble spouse by ascribing it to the fatigue she had lately undergone, joined to distress of mind at her father's unrelenting severity towards her. Oh! the amiable creature! interrupted the unsuspecting spinsters, almost stifling her with their caresses as they spoke. Welcome! a thousand times welcome to Glenfern Castle, said Miss Jackie, who was esteemed by much the most sensible woman as well as the greatest orator in the whole parish. Nothing shall be wanting, dearest Juliana, to compensate for a parent's rigor, and make you happy and comfortable. Consider this as your future home. My sisters and myself will be as mothers to you, and see these charming young creatures, dragging forward two tall frightened girls with sandy hair and great purple arms, thank Providence for having blessed you with such sisters. Don't speak too much, Jackie, to our dear niece at present, said Miss Grizzie. I think one of Lady MacLachlan's composing drafts would be the best thing for her. Composing drafts at this time of day, cried Miss Nicky, I should think a good broth, a much wiser thing. There are some excellent family broth making below, and I'll desire Tibby to bring a few. Will you take a little soup, love? asked Douglas. His lady assented, and Miss Nicky vanished, but quickly re-entered, followed by Tibby, carrying a huge bowl of coarse broth, swimming with leeks, greens, and grease. Lady Juliana attempted to taste it, but her delicate palate revolted at the homely fare, and she gave up the attempt in spite of Miss Nicky's earnest entreaties to take a few more of these excellent family broth. I should think, said Henry, as he vainly attempted to stir it round, that a little wine would be more to the purpose than this stuff. The ants looked at each other, and withdrawing to a corner a whispering consultation took place, in which Lady MacLachlan's opinion, birch, balm, current, heating, cooling, running risks, et cetera, et cetera, transpired. At length the question was carried, and some tolerable sherry and a piece of very substantial shortbread were produced. It was now voted by Miss Jackie, and carried Nem-Con, that her ladyship ought to take a little repose till the hour of dinner. And don't trouble to dress, continued the considerate ant, for we are not very dressy here, and we are to be quite a charming family-party, nobody but ourselves, and, turning to her nephew, your brother and his wife. She is a most superior woman, though she has rather too many of her English prejudices yet to be all we could wish. But I have no doubt when she has lived a little longer amongst us, we become one of ourselves. I forget who she was, said Douglas. A granddaughter of Sir Duncan Malcolm's. A very old family of the— ah, blood, and nearly allied to the present earl, and here they come, exclaimed she, on hearing the sound of a carriage, and all rushed out to receive them. Let us have a glimpse of this scion from a noble stock, said Lady Juliana, mimicking the accent of the poor spinsters as she rose and ran to the window. Good heavens, Henry! Do come and behold this equipage! And she left with childish glee as she pointed to a plain, old-fashioned whiskey with a large top. A tall, handsome young man now alighted, and lifted out a female figure. So enveloped in a cloak that eyes less penetrating than Lady Juliana's could not, at a single glance, have discovered her to be a frightful quiz. Only conceive the effect of this dashing equipage on Bond Street, continued she, redoubling her mirth at the bright idea. Then suddenly stopping and sighing, ah, my pretty vis-à-vis. I remember the first time I saw you, Henry. I was in it at a review, and she sighed still deeper. True. I was then aid to camp to your handsome lover, the Duke of El. Perhaps I might think him handsome now. People's taste alter according to circumstances. Yours must have undergone a wonderful revolution if you can find charms in a hunchback of fifty-three. He is not a hunchback, returned her ladyship warmly. Only a little high-shouldered. But at any rate he has the most beautiful place and the finest house in England. Douglas saw the storm gathering on the brow of his capricious wife, and clasping her in his arms. Are you indeed so changed, my Julia, that you have forgot the time when you used to declare you would prefer a desert with your Henry to a throne with another? No, certainly. Not changed. But I—I did not very well know then what a desert was. Or at least I had formed rather a different idea of it. What was your idea of a desert, said her husband, laughing, to tell me love? Oh, I had fancied it a beautiful place full of roses and myrtles and smooth-green turf, and murmuring rivulets, and, though very retired, not absolutely out of the world, where one could occasionally see one's friends, and give de jeune effets chambtrés. Well, perhaps the time may come, Juliana, when we may realize your Elysian deserts. But at present, you know, I am wholly dependent on my father. I hope to prevail on him to do something for me, and that our stay here will be short. As you may be sure the moment I can, I will take you hence. I am sensible it is not a situation for you. But for my sake, dearest Juliana, bear with it for a while, without betraying your disgust. Will you do this, darling? And he kissed away the sullen tear that hung on her cheek. You know, love, there's nothing in the world I wouldn't do for you, replied she, as she played with her squirrel. And as you promise our stay shall be short, if I don't die of the horrors I shall certainly try to make the agreeable. Oh, my cherub, flying to her pug who came barking into the room. Where have you been, and where's my darling Psyche, and sweet McCaw? Do, Harry, go and see after the darlings. I must go and see my brother and his wife first. Will you come, love? Oh, not now. I don't feel equal to the encounter. Besides, I must dress. But what shall I do? Since that vile woman's gone I can't dress myself. I never did such a thing in my life, and I'm sure it's impossible that I can, almost weeping at the hardships she was doomed to experience in making her own toilette. Shall I be your Abigail? Yes. We think so would be no difficult task to deck my Julia. Dear Harry, will you really dress me? Oh, that will be delightful. I shall die with laughing at your awkwardness, and her beautiful eyes sparkled with childish delight at the idea. In the meantime, said Douglas, I'll send someone to unpack your things, and after I have shook hands with Archie and been introduced to my new sister I shall enter on my office. Now do pray, make haste, for I'd die to see your great hands tying strings and sticking pins. Delighted with her gaiety and good humour, he left her caressing her favourites, and finding rather a scarcity of female attendance, he dispatched two of his sisters to assist his helpless beauty in her arrangements. End of Chapter 3 Recording by Patty Cunningham Chapter 4 of Marriage Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Patty Cunningham Marriage Volume 1 by Susan Edmundstone-Farrier Chapter 4 Endeavour against eating Cares Let me soft in Lydian La Allegro When Douglas returned he found the floor strewn with dresses of every description, his sisters on their knees before a great trunk they were busy in unpacking, and his lady in her wrapper with her hair about her ears still amusing herself with her pets. See how good your sisters are, said she, pointing to the poor girls whose inflamed faces bore testimony to their labours. There I am quite sorry to see them take so much trouble, yawning as she lint back in her chair. Is it not quite shocking, Tommy, kissing her squirrel? Oh, pray, Henry, do tell me what I am to put on, for I protest I don't know. Favel always used to choose for me, and so did that odious Martine, for she had an exquisite taste. Not so exquisite as your own, I am sure. So for once choose for yourself, replied the good-humoured husband, and pray make haste, for my father waits dinner. Betwixt golding, laughing, and blundering, the dress was at length completed, and Lady Juliana, in all the pomp of dress and pride of beauty, descended leaning on her husband's arm. On entering the drying-room, which was now in a more comfortable state, Douglas led her to a lady who was sitting by the fire, kissing her hand within that of the stranger. Juliana, my love, said he, this is a sister whom you have not yet seen, and with whom I am sure you will gladly make acquaintance. The stranger received her noble sister with graceful ease, and with a sweet smile and pleasing accent expressed herself happy in the introduction. Lady Juliana was surprised and somewhat disconcerted. She had arranged her plans, and made up her mind to be condescending. She had resolved to enchant by her sweetness, dazzled by her brilliancy, and overpower by her affability. But there was a simple dignity in the air and address of the lady, before which even hybrid affectations sank abashed. Before she found a reply to the courteous yet respectful salutation of her sister-in-law, Douglas introduced his brother. And the old gentleman, impatient at any farther delay, taking Lady Juliana by the hand, pulled, rather than led her into the dining-room. Even Lady Juliana contrived to make a meal of the roast mutton and more fowl, for the lair had peaked himself on the breed of his sheep, and his son was too good a sportsman to allow his friends to want for game. I think my darling Tommy would relish this grouse very much, observed Lady Juliana, as she secured the last remaining wing for her favorite. Bring him here, turning to the tall, dashing lackey who stood behind her chair, and whose handsome livery and well-dressed hair formed a striking contrast to old Donald's tartan jacket and bob wig. Come hither, my sweetest cherubs, extending her arms towards the charming trio, as they entered, barking and chattering and flying to their mistress. A scene of noise and nonsense ensued. Douglas remained silent, mortified and provoked by the weakness of his wife, which not even the silver tones of her voice or the elegance of her manners could longer conceal from him. But still there was a charm in her very folly to the eye of love, which had not yet wholly lost its power. After the table was cleared, observing that he was still silent and abstracted, Lady Giuliana turned to her husband and laying her hand on his shoulder. You are not well, love, said she, looking up in his face, and shaking back the redundant ringlets that shaded her own. Perfectly so, replied her husband with a sigh. What, dull? Then I must sing to enliven you, and leaning her head on his shoulder she warbled a verse of the beautiful little Venetian air, La Biondina in Gondoleta. Then suddenly stopping and fixing her eyes on Mrs. Douglas, I beg pardon, perhaps you don't like music. Perhaps my singing's a bore. You pay us a bad compliment in saying so, said her sister in Law Smiling, and the only atonement you can make for such an injurious doubt is to proceed. Does anybody sing here? Asked she, without noticing this request. Do somebody, sing me a song. Oh, we all sing and dance too, said one of the old ladies, and after tea we will show you some of our scotch steps, but in the meantime Mrs. Douglas will favour us with her song. Mrs. Douglas assented good-humouredly, though aware that it would be rather a nice point to please all parties in the choice of a song. The Laird reckoned all foreign music, that is, everything that was not scotch, an outrage upon his ears, as Mrs. Douglas had too much taste to murder scotch songs with her English accent. She therefore compromised the matter as well as she could by selecting a Highland Diddy clothed in her own native tongue, and saying with much pathos and simplicity, the lamented laden's fall of McGregor. In the veil of Glen or He the night breeze was sighing, or the tomb where the ancient McGregors are lying. Green are their graves by their soft murmuring river, but the name of McGregor has perished forever. On a red stream of light by his grey mountains glancing, soon I beheld a dim spirit advancing. Slow or the heath of the dead was its motion, like the shadow of mist or the foam of the ocean, like the sound of a stream through the still evening dying. Stranger, who treads where McGregor is lying? Darest thou to walk unappalled and firm-hearted, miss the shadowy steps of the mighty departed? See, round thee the caves of the dead are disclosing the shades that have long been in silence reposing, through their forms dimly twinkles the moon-beam descending, as upon thee their red eyes of wrath they are bending. On the mountains of fame, though the heath blossoms cover round the fields of our battles, our spirits still hover, where we offsaw the streams running red from the mountains, but dark are our forms by our blue native fountains, for our fame melts away like the foam of the river, like the last yellow leaves on the oak-bows that shiver. The name is unknown of our fathers so gallant, of the valent. The hunter of red deer now ceases to number the lonely grey stones on the field of our slumber. Fly, stranger, and let not thine eye be reverted. Why shouldst thou see that our fame is departed? Pray, do you play on the harp, ask the volatile lady, scarcely waiting till the first stanza was ended, and apropos, have you a good harp here? We've a very sweet spinnet, said Miss Jackie, which, in my opinion, is a far superior instrument, and Bella will give us a tune upon it. Bella, my dear, let Lady Juliana hear how well you can play. Bella, blushing like a peony rose, retired to a corner of the room where stood the spinnet, and with great, heavy, trembling hands began to belabor the unfortunate instrument, while the ants beat time and encouraged her to proceed with exclamations of admiration and applause. You have done very well, Bella, said Mrs. Douglas, seeing her preparing to execute another piece, and pitying the poor girl, as well as her auditors. Then whispering to Miss Jackie that Lady Juliana looked fatigued, they arose to quit the room. Give me your arm, love, to the drawing-room, said her ladyship languidly. Now pray, don't be long away, continued she, as he placed her on the sofa, and returned to the gentlemen. End of Chapter 4 Recording by Patty Cunningham Chapter 5 of Marriage Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Patty Cunningham. Marriage Volume 1 by Susan Edmundstone Ferrier Chapter 5 You have displaced the mirth, broke the good meeting, with most admired disorder. McBeth The interval, which seemed of endless duration to the hapless Lady Juliana, was passed by the ants in giving sage-council as to the course of life to be pursued by married ladies. Most stockings and quilted petticoats were insisted upon as indispensable articles of dress. While it was plainly insinuated that it was utterly impossible any child could be healthy whose mother had not confined her wishes to barley-broth and oatmeal-porridge. Only look at they, young lambs, said Miss Grizzie, pointing to the five great girls. See what pictures of health they are! I'm sure I hope, my dear niece, your children will be just the same. Only boys. For we are sadly in want of boys. It's melancholy to think we have not a boy among us, and that a fine, ancient race like ours should be dying away for want of male heirs, and tears stream down the cheeks of the good spinster as she spoke. The entrance of the gentleman put a stop to the conversation. Flying to her husband, Lady Giuliana began to whisper in very audible tones her inquiries whether he had yet got any money, when they were to go away, et cetera, et cetera. Does your ladyship choose any tea? Asked Miss Nicky as she disseminated the little cups of coarse black liquid. Tea? Oh, no! I never drink tea. I'll take some coffee, though. And Psyche dotes on a dish of tea. And she tendered the beverage intended for herself to her favorite. Here's no coffee, said Douglas, surveying the tea-table. But I will ring for some, as he pulled the bell. Old Donald answered the summons. Where's the coffee, demanded Miss Nicky? The coffee, repeated the Highlander. Truth, Miss Nicky, and it's been clean for God. Well, but you can get it yet, said Douglas. Did, Master Harry, the nights are far gone for snow, for the fires tame up, you see, reckoning with his fingers as he proceeded. There's parruch makin' for ur supper, and there's patetis spoilin' for the beasts, and I'll see about it myself, said Miss Nicky, leaving the room with Old Donald at her back muttering all the way. The old Laird all this while had been enjoying his evening nap. But that now ended. And the tea-equipage being dismissed, starting up, he asked what they were about that the dancing was not begun. Come, Milady, we'll set the example, snapping his fingers and singing in a hoarse voice. The mouse is a merry beastie, and the moody word wants the ene, but folk sailner get wit, se merry as we to a hebeen. But where's the girlies, cried he? Ho, bell, becky, betty, baby, beanie, to your posts! The young ladies eager for the delights of music and dancing now entered, followed by Coil the Piper, dressed in the native garb, with cheeks seemingly ready-blown for the occasion. After a little strutting and puffing, the pipes were fairly set of going in Coil's most spirited manner. But vain would be the attempt to describe P. Giuliana's horror and amazement at the hideous sounds that for the first time assailed her ears. Tearing herself from the grasp of the old gentleman, who was just setting off in the reel, she flew shrieking to her husband, and threw herself trembling into his arms while he called loudly to the self-delighted Coil to stop. What's the matter? What's the matter? cried the whole family, gathering round. Matter, repeated Douglas furiously, you have frightened Lady Giuliana to death with your infernal music. What did you mean, turning fiercely to the astonished Piper, by blowing that confounded bladder? Poor Coil gaped with astonishment. For never before had his performance on the bagpipe been heard, but with admiration and applause. A bonny bargain indeed that kind of stunned the pipes, said the old gentleman as he went puffing up and down the room. She's knew the way for a Halendman. Confounded bladder indeed. By my faith, yearn o' blade. I declare it's the most distressing thing I ever met with, sighed Miss Grizzie. I wonder whether it could be the sight or the sound of the bagpipe that frightened our dear niece. I wish to goodness Lady McLaughlin was here. It's impossible the bagpipe could frighten anyone, said Miss Jackie in a high key. Nobody with common sight would be frightened at a bagpipe. Mrs. Douglas here mildly interposed, and soothed down the offended pride of the Highlanders by attributing Lady Julianna's agitation entirely to surprise. The word operated like a charm. All were ready to admit that it was a surprising thing when heard for the first time. Miss Jackie remarked that we are all liable to be surprised, and the still more sapient Grizzie said that indeed it was most surprising the effect surprise had upon some people. For her own part she could not deny but that she was very often frightened when she was surprised. Douglas, meanwhile, was employed in soothing the terrors real or affected of his delicate bride who declared herself so exhausted with the fatigue she had undergone and the suffering she had endured that she must retire for the night. Henry, eager to escape from the questions and remarks of his family, gladly availed himself of the same excuse, and to the infinite mortification of both ants and nieces, the ball was broken up. End of Chapter 5 Recording by Patty Cunningham Chapter 6 Of Marriage Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Patty Cunningham Marriage by Susan Edmundstone Farrier Chapter 6 What Choice to Choose for Delicacy Best Milton Of what nature were the remarks passed in the parlor upon the new married couple has not reached the writer of these memoirs with as much exactness as the foregoing circumstances. But they may in part be imagined from the sketch already given of the characters which formed the Glenfern party. The conciliatory indulgence of Mrs. Douglas, when aided by the good-natured Miss Grizzie, doubtless had a favourable effect on the irritated pride but short-lived acrimony of the old gentleman. Certain it is that, before the married all restored to harmony and retired to their respective chambers in hopes of beholding a more propitious morrow. Who has not perused sonnets, odes, and speeches in praise of that balmy blessing sleep from the divine effusions of Shakespeare down to the drowsy notes of newspaper poets yet cannot too much be said in its commendation. Sweet is its influence on the care-worn eyes to tears bestowed. In its arms the statesman forgets his harassed thoughts, the weary and the poor are blessed with its charms, and conscience, even conscience is sometimes soothed into silence while the sufferer sleeps. But nowhere perhaps is its influence more happily felt than in the heart oppressed by the harassing accumulation of petty ills. Like a troop of locusts stings what they want in magnitude. Mortified pride in discovering the fallacy of our own judgment to be ashamed of what we love yet still to love are feelings most unpleasant. And though they assume not the dignity of deep distress yet philosophy has scarce any power to soothe their worrying incessant annoyance, Douglas was glad to forget himself in sleep. He could not conceal that day and of unpleasant subjects more than the whole of his foregoing life would have produced. If he did not curse the fair object of his imprudence at least he cursed his own folly and himself. And these were his last waking thoughts. But Douglas could not repose as long as the seven sleepers and in consequence of having retired sooner to bed than he was accustomed to do at an early hour of the morning. The wonderful activity which people sometimes feel when they have little to do with their bodies and less with their minds caused him to rise hastily in dress hoping to pick up a new set of ideas by virtue of his locomotive powers. On descending to the dining parlor he found his father seated at the window carefully perusing a pamphlet written to illustrate the principle let nothing be lost and containing many sage and erudite directions for the composition and dimensions of that ornament to a gentleman's farmyard and a cottager's front door he clipped, in the language of the country, a midden with the signification of which we would not for the world chalk the more refined feelings of our southern readers. Many were the inquiries about Dear Lady Juliana hoped she had rested well hoped they had found the bed comfortable, etc., etc. These inquiries were interrupted by the Laird who requested his son to take a turn with him while breakfast was getting ready that they might talk over past events and new plans that he might see the new planting on the hill the draining of the great moss with other agricultural concerns which we shall omit not having the same power of commanding attention for our readers as the Laird had from his hearers. After repeated summonses and many inquiries from the impatient party already assembled at the breakfast table Lady Juliana made her appearance accompanied by her favourites whom no persuasions of her husband could prevail upon her to leave behind. As she entered the room her olfactory nerves were smote with gales not of Araby the Blessed but of old cheese and herrings with which the hospitable board was amply provided. The ladies having severally exchanged the salutations of the morning Miss Nicky commenced the operation of pouring out tea while the Laird laid a large piece of herring on her ladyship's plate. Good heavens! What am I to do with this? exclaimed she. Do take it away or I shall faint! Brother, brother! cried Miss Grizzie in a tone of alarm. I beg you won't play with me in the alarm. I beg you won't place any unpleasant object before the eyes of our dear niece. I declare Pray, was it the sight or the smell of the beast that shocked you so much, my dear Lady Juliana? I'm sure I wished to goodness Lady MacLachlan was come. Mr. Douglas, or the major as he was styled, immediately rose and pulled the bell. Desire my gig to be got ready directly, the ants drew up stiffly, and looked at each other without speaking, but the old gentleman expressed his surprise that his son should think of leaving them so soon. May we inquire the reason of the sudden resolution? At length, said Miss Jackie in a tone of stifled indignation, certainly if you are disposed to hear it, it is because I find that there is company expected. The three ladies turned up their hands and eyes in speechless horror. Is it that virtuous woman, Lady MacLachlan, you would shun, nephew, demanded Miss Jackie? It is that insufferable woman I would shun," replied her nephew, with a heightened color and a violence very unusual with him. The good Miss Grizzie drew out her pocket handkerchief, while Mrs. Douglas vainly endeavored to silence her husband and avert the rising storm. Dear Douglas, whispered his wife in a tone of anguish and a broad approach. Oh, pray, let him go on, said Miss Jackie, almost choking under the effort she made to appear calm. Let him go on, Lady MacLachlan's character luckily, is far above the reach of Columny. Nothing that Mr. Archival Douglas can say will have power to change our opinions, or I hope to prejudice his brother and Lady Julianna against this most exemplary virtuous woman. A woman of family, of fortune, of talents, of accomplishments, a woman of unblemished reputation, of the strictest morals, sweetest temper, charming heart, delightful spirits, so charitable, every year she gives fifty flannel petticoats to the old people of the parish. Then such a wife as she is, sobbed out Miss Grizzie. She has invented I don't know how many different medicines for Sir Samson's complaint and makes a point of his taking some of them every day. But for her I'm sure he would have been in his grave long ago. She's doing all she can to send him there, as she has done many a poor wretch already with her infernal compositions. Here Miss Grizzie sank back in her chair, overcome with horror. And Miss Nicky let fall the teapot, the scalding contents of which discharge themselves upon the unfortunate psyche, whose yells mingling with the screams of its fair mistress, for a while drowned even Miss Jackie's oratory. Oh, what shall I do? cried Lady Juliana, as she bent over her favorite. Do send for a surgeon. Pray Henry, fly! Do fetch one directly or she will die! And it would quite kill me to lose my darling. Do run, dearest Harry! My dear Julia, how can you be so absurd? There's no surgeon within twenty miles of this. No surgeon within twenty miles, exclaims she, starting up. How could you bring me to such a place? Good God, these dear creatures may die. I may die myself before I can get any assistance. Don't be alarmed, my dearest niece, said the good Miss Grizzie. We are all doctors here. I understand something of physics myself, and our friend Lady MacLachlan, who I dare say will be here presently, is perfect mistress of every disease of the human frame. Clap a cold potato to the brutste, cried the old Laird gruffly. I have a box of her skull-doitment that will cure it in a minute. If it don't cure it, we'll kill, said Mr. Douglas, with a smile. Brother, said Miss Jackie, rising with dignity from her chair, and waving her hand as she spoke, Brother, I appeal to you to protect the character of this most amiable, respectable matron from the insults in Columny your son thinks proper to load it with. Sir Samson MacLachlan is your friend, and it therefore becomes your duty to defend his wife. Truth, but a hay enough to do better stand up for all my friend's wives, said the old gentleman. But however, Archie, you are to blame. Lady MacLachlan is a very decent woman, at least as far as I can. Though she is a little free in a gab, and out of her respect to my old friend Sir Samson does my desire that you should remain here to receive him, and that you treat both him and his lady discreetly. This was said in too way as a tone to be disputed, and his son was obliged to submit. The ointment, meanwhile, having been applied to Psyche's paw, peace was restored and breakfast recommenced. I declare our dear niece has not tasted a morsel, observed Miss Nicky. Bless me. Here's charming Barley-Mill scones, said one, thrusting a plate full of them before her. Here's tempting P's bonnocks, interposed another. And oat-cakes. I'm sure your ladyship never saw such cakes. I can't eat any of those things. Said their delicate niece, with an air of disgust, I should like some muffin and chocolate. You forget you're not in London, my love," said her husband reproachfully. No indeed I do not forget it. Well, then, this is a dissension. Unfortunately we happen to be quite out of loaf bread at present, said Miss Nicky. But we've sent to Dremseny for some. They bake excellent bread at Dremseny. Is there nothing within the bounds of possibility you would fancy, Julia? asked Douglas. Do think, love! I think I should like some grouse or a beef steak, if it was very nicely done, returned her finishing tone. Beef steak, repeated Miss Grissey. Beef steak, responded Miss Jackie. Beef steak, reverberated Miss Nicky. After much deliberation and consultation amongst the three spinsters, it was at length unanimously carried that the lady's whim should be indulged. Only think, sisters, observe Miss Grissey in an undertone. The child was to resemble a morfowl. Or have a face like a raw beef steak, said Miss Nicky. These arguments were unanswerable, and a smoking steak and a plump morfowl were quickly produced, of which Lady Juliana partook, in company with her four-footed favourites. End of Chapter 6 Recording by Patty Cunningham Chapter 7 When winter soaks, the fields and female feet, too weak to struggle with tenacious clay or ford the rivulets, are best at home. The task. The meal being at length concluded, Glenferne desired Henry to attend him on his way home. The meal being at length concluded, Glenferne desired Henry to attend him on a walk, as he wished to have a little more private conversation with him. Lady Juliana was beginning a remonstrance against the cruelty of taking Harry away from her, when her husband, whispering her that he hoped to make something of the old gentleman, and that he should soon be back, she suffered him to depart in silence. Old Donald, having at length succeeded in clearing the table of its heterogeneous banquet, it mattered with the young lady's work. Miss Nicky withdrew to her household affairs. Miss Jackie sat with one eye upon Lady Juliana, the other upon her five nieces. Miss Grizzie seated herself by her ladyship, holding a spread letter of Lady McLaughlin's before her as a screen. While the young ladies busily plied their needles, the elder ones left no means untried to entertain their listless niece, whose only replies were questions of weariness, or expressions of affection bestowed upon her favourites. At length even Miss Jackie's sense and Miss Grizzie's good nature were at fault, when a ray of sunshine darting into the room suggested the idea of a walk. The proposal was made, and assented to by her ladyship, in the two-fold hope of meeting her husband and pleasing her dogs, whose whining and scratching had for some time testified their desire of a change. The ladies therefore separated to prepare for their sortie. After many recommendations from the ants, to be sure to hap well, but as if distrusting her powers in that way they speedily equipped themselves and repaired to her chamber a raid cap-a-pie in the walking costume of Glenfern Castle. And indeed it must be owned that their style of dress was infinitely more judicious than that of their fashionable niece, and it was not surprising that they, in their shrunk duffel great-coats, fast-poked bonnets, red-worsted neck-cloths, and patents, should gaze with horror at her lace cap, lilac satin police, and silk shoes. Ruin to the whole race of Glenfern present and future seemed inevitable from such a display of extravagance and imprudence. Having surmounted the first shock Miss Jackie made a violent effort to undo her rising wrath, and with a sort of convulsive smile addressed Lady Juliana. Your ladyship, I perceive it is not of the opinion of her inimitable bard who, in his charming poem The Season, says, beauty needs not the foreign aid of ornament, but is, when unadorned, adorned the most. That is a truth that ought to be impressed on every young woman's mind. Lady Juliana only stared. She was as little accustomed to be advised as she was to hear Thompson's seasons quoted. I declare that's all quite true, said the more temporizing grizzie. And certainly our girls are not in the least taken up about their dress-poor things, which is a great comfort. At the same time, I'm sure it's no wonder your ladyship should be taken up about yours, for certainly that police is by that, and I dare say it is the very newest fashion. At the same time, I'm just afraid that it's rather too delicate and that it might perhaps get a little dirty on our roads. For although in general our roads are quite remarkable for being always dry, which is a great comfort in the country, yet you know the very best roads, of course, must be wet sometimes. And there's a very bad step just at the door almost, which Glenfern has been always speaking about being mended. But to be sure he has so many things to think about that it's no wonder he forgets sometimes. But I dare say he will get it done very soon now. The prospect of the road being mended produced no better effect than the quotation from Thompson's Seasons. It was now Miss Nicky's turn. I'm afraid your ladyship will frighten our stirks and stoats with your finery. I assure you they are not accustomed to see such fine figures and, putting your hand out at the window, I think it's spitting already. All three now joined in the chorus, beseeching Lady Julianna to put on something warmer and more wise-like. I positively have nothing, cried she, wearied with their importunities, and I shan't get any winter things now till I return to town. My rocolaire does very well for the carriage. The acknowledgement at the beginning of this speech was enough. All three instantly disappeared like the genie of a laden's lamp, and like that same person, presently returned, loaded with what, in their eyes, were precious as the gold of Arabia. One displayed a hard-worsted shawl, with a flowerpot at each corner, another held up a tartan cloak with a hood, and a third thrust forward a dark cloth, Joseph, lined with flannel, while one and all showered down a variety of old bonnets, fur tippets, hair soles, clogs, patents, and endless et cetera's. Lady Julianna shrank with disgust from these delightful haps, and resisted all attempts to have them forced upon her, declaring in a manner which showed her determined to have her own way, that she would either go out as she was, or not go out at all. The ants were therefore obliged to submit, and the party proceeded to what was termed the road, though a stranger would have sought in vain for its pretensions to that title. Far as the eye could reach, and that was far enough, not a single vehicle could be described on it, though its deep rut showed that it was well frequented by carts. The scenery might have had charms for Ocean, but it had none for Lady Julianna, who would rather have been entangled in a string of Bond Street equipages than traversing the lonely heath with the stream murmuring hoarsely the old trees groaning in the wind. The troubled lake ends the still more troubled sisters. As may be supposed, she very soon grew weary of the walk. The bleak wind pierced her to the soul. Her silk slippers and lace flounces became indistinguishable masses of mud. Her dogs chased the sheep, and were in their turn pursued by the noughts, as the ladies termed theirs. One sister expatiated on the great blessing of having a peat-moss at their door. Another was at pains to point out the proposed side of a set of new offices, and the third lamented that her ladyship had not on the thicker shoes that she might have gone and seen the garden. More than ever disgusted and wretched, the hapless Lady Julianna returned to the house to fret away the time till her husband's return. Chapter 7 Recording by Paddy Cunningham Chapter 8 Of Marriage, Volume 1 This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Paddy Cunningham Marriage, Volume 1 by Susan Edmundstone Ferrier Chapter 8 On serene insupportable dalle à la société par des défauts légères moquis se font sentir au moment. Voltaire The family of Glenfern have already said so much for themselves that it seems as if little remained to be told by their biographer. Mrs. Douglas was the only member of the community who was at all conscious of the unfortunate association of characters and habits that had just taken place. She was a stranger to Lady Julianna, but she was interested by her youth, beauty and elegance, and felt the sacrifice she had made. A sacrifice so much greater than it was possible she ever could have conceived or anticipated. She could in some degree enter into the nature of her feelings towards the old ladies, for she too had felt how disagreeable people might contrive to render themselves without being guilty of any particular fault, and how much more difficult it is to bear with the weaknesses than the vices of our neighbors. Had these ladies' failings been of view, it might not have been so arduous a task to put up with them, but to love such a set of little trifling, tormenting foibles all dignified with the name of virtues required from her elegant mind, and exertion of its highest principles, a continual remembrance of that difficult Christian precept to bear with one another. A person of less sense than Mrs. Douglas would have endeavored to open the eyes of their understandings and what appeared to be the folly and narrow-mindedness of their ways, but she refrained from the attempt not from the want of benevolent exertion, but from an innate conviction that their foibles all originated in what was now incurable, vis the natural weakness of their minds together with their ignorance of the world and the ill liberality and prejudices of vulgar education. These poor women, reasoned the charitable Mrs. Douglas, are perhaps after all better characters in the sight of God than I am. He who has endowed us all with his wisdom has seen fit and has placed me amongst them. Oh, may he teach me to remember that we are all his children and enable me to bear with their faults while I study to correct my own. Thus did this amiable woman strive not only to live in peace but without sacrificing her own liberal ideas to be actually beloved by those amongst whom her lot had been cast, however dissimilar to herself. But for that Christian spirit in which must ever be included a liberal mind and gentle temper she must have felt towards her connections a still stronger repugnance than was even manifested by Lady Juliana. For Lady Juliana's superiority over them was merely that of refined habits and elegant manners whereas Mrs. Douglas's was the superiority of a noble and highly gifted mind which could hold no intercourse with theirs except by stooping to the level of their low capacities. But that the merit of her conduct may be duly appreciated I shall endeavour to give a slight sketch of the female, dramatis personae of Glenfern Castle. Miss Jackie, the senior of the trio, was what has reckoned a very sensible woman which generally means a very disagreeable, obstinate ill-liberable director of all men, women and children a sort of superintendent of all actions time and place with unquestioned authority to a reign, judge and condemn upon the statutes of her own supposed sense. Most country parishes have their sensible woman who lays down the law on all affairs spiritual and temporal. Miss Jackie stood unrivaled as the sensible woman of Glenfern. She had attained this eminence partly from having a little more understanding than her sisters, but principally from her dictatorial manner and the pompous decisive tone in which she delivered the most common place truths. At home her supremacy in all matters of sense was perfectly established and thence the infection, like other superstitions, had spread over the whole neighborhood. As sensible woman she regulated the family which she took care to let everybody see. She was conductor of her niece's education which she took care to let everybody hear. She was a sort of postmistress general a detector of all abuses and impositions and deemed it her prerogative about all the useful and useless things which everybody else could have done as well. She was liberal of her advice to the poor always enforcing upon them the iniquity of idleness but doing nothing for them in the way of employment strict economy being one of the many points in which she was particularly sensible. The consequence was while she was lecturing half the poor women in the parish for their idleness the bread was kept out of their mouths by the incessant carting of wool and knitting of stockings and spinning and reeling and winding and perning that went on amongst the ladies themselves. And by the by Miss Jackie is not the only sensible woman who thinks she is acting a meritorious part when she converts what ought to be the portion of the poor into the employment of the affluent. In short Miss Jackie was all over sense. A skillful physiognomist would at a single glance have detected the sensible woman in the erect head the compressed lips square elbows and firm judicious step. Even her very garments seemed to partake of the prevailing character of their mistress. Her rough always looked more sensible than any other bodies. Her shawl sat most sensibly on her shoulders. Her walking shoes were acknowledged to be very sensible and she drew on her gloves with an air of sense the one arm had been Seneca the other Socrates. From what has been said it may easily be inferred that Miss Jackie was in fact anything but a sensible woman. As indeed no woman can be who bears such visible outward marks of what is in reality the most quiet and un ostentatious of all good qualities. But there is a spurious sense which passes equally well with the multitude. It is easily assumed and still more easily maintained. Common truths and aggraved dictatorial air being all that is necessary for its support. Miss Grizzie's character will not admit if so long a commentary is that of her sister. She was merely distinguishable from nothing by her simple good nature the inextricable entanglement of her thoughts her love of letter writing and her friendship with Lady MacLachlan. She had as bad as much sense as Miss Jackie. But as no kingdom can maintain two kings so no family can admit of two sensible women. And Nicky was therefore obliged to confine hers to the narrowest possible channels of housekeeping, mantua making, etc. and to sit down for life or at least till Miss Jackie should be married with the dubious character of not wanting for sense either. With all these little peccadillos the sisters possessed some good properties. They were well-meaning, kind-hearted and upon the whole good-tempered. They loved one another, revered their brother doted upon their nephews and nieces took a lively interest in the poorest of their poor cousins a hundred degrees removed and had a firm conviction of the perfectibility of human nature as exemplified in the persons of all their own friends. Even their failings lean to the virtue side for whatever they did was with the intention of doing good, though the means they made use of generally produced an opposite effect. But there are so many Miss Douglas's in the world that doubtless every one of my readers is well acquainted with them as I am myself. I shall therefore leave them to finish the picture according to their ideas while I return to the parlor where the worthy spinsters are seated in expectation of the arrival of their friend. End of Chapter 8 Recording by Patty Cunningham Chapter 9 of Marriage Volume 1 This LibriVox recording is in the public domain Recording by Patty Cunningham Marriage Volume 1 by Susan Edmund Stone Ferrier Chapter 9 Though both not equal as their sex not equal seemed for contemplation she and Valor formed for softness she and sweet attractive grace. Milton What can have come over Lady MacLachlan? said Miss Grizzly as she sat at the window in a dejected attitude. I think I hear a carriage at last cried Miss Jackie turning up her ears. Wished! Let us listen. It's only the wind, sighed Miss Grizzly. It's the cart with the bread, Miss Nicky. It's Lady MacLachlan, I assure you, pronounced Miss Jackie. The heavy rumble of a ponderous vehicle now proclaimed the approach of the expected visitor, which pleasing anticipation was soon changed into blissful certainty by the approach of a high-roofed square-bottomed pea-green chariot drawn by two long-tailed white horses and followed by a lackey in the Highland garb. Out of this equipage a figure clothed in a light-colored, large-flowered shins-raiment carefully drawn through the pocket-holes, either for its own preservation, or the more disinterested purpose of displaying a dark-short stuffed petticoat which, with the same liberality, afforded ample scope for the survey of a pair of worsted stockings and black leather shoes, something resembling buckets. A faded red-cloth jacket, which bore evident marks having been severed from its native skirts, now acted in the capacity of a spencer. On the head rose a stupendous fabric in the form of a cap, on the summit of which was placed a black beaver hat tied a la posage. A small black satin muff in one hand and a gold-headed walking-stick in the other completed the dress and decoration of this personage. The lackey, meanwhile, advanced in courage, and putting in both his hands as if to catch so something, he pulled forth a small bundle, enveloped in a military cloak, the contents of which would have baffled conjecture, but for the large cock-tad and little-booted leg, which protruded at opposite extremities. A loud but slow and well-modulated voice now resounded through the narrow-stone passage that conducted to the drawing-room. Bring him in, bring him in, Philistine! I always call my man Philistine because he has Samson in his hands. Set him down there, pointing to an easy chair, as the group now entered headed by Lady MacLachlan. Well, girls, addressing the venerable spinsters as they severally exchanged a tender salute, so you're all alive, I see! Huh! Dear Lady MacLachlan, allow me to introduce our beloved niece Lady Julie Anna Douglas, Miss Grizzie, leading her up, and bridling as she spoke with ill-suppressed exultation. So, you're very pretty! Yes, you are very pretty, kissing the forehead, cheeks, and chin of the youthful beauty between every pause. Then holding her at arm's length, she surveyed her from head to foot with elevated brows and a broad, fixed stare. Praise it down, Lady MacLachlan, cried her three friends all at once, each tendering a chair. Sit down, repeated she. Why, what should I sit down for? I choose to stand. I don't like to sit. I never sit at home. Do I, Sir Samson? Turning to the little warrior, who, having been seized with a violent fit of coughing on his entrance, had now sunk back, seemingly quite exhausted, while the Philistine was endeavouring of his military accoutrement. How very distressing, Sir Samson's cough is, said the sympathising Miss Grizzie. Distressing, child! No, it's not the least distressing. How can a thing be distressing that does no harm? He's much the better of it. It's the only exercise he gets. Oh, well indeed, if that's the case, it would be a thousand pitties to stop it," replied the accommodating Spenster. No, it wouldn't be the least pity to stop it," returned Lady MacLachlan, in her loud authoritative tone, because though it's not distressing, it's very disagreeable. But it cannot be stopped. You might as well talk of stopping the wind. It is a cradle cough. My dear Lady MacLachlan, screamed Sir Samson in a shrill pipe as he made an effort to raise himself and rescue his cough from this dispersion, how can you persist in saying so when I have told you so often if recedes entirely from a cold caught a few years ago when I attended his majesty at— here a violent relapse carried the conclusion of the sentence along with it. Let him alone. Don't meddle with him, called his lady to the assiduous nymphs who were bustling around him. Leave him to Philistine. He's in very good hands when he is in Philistines, ahead of her stick, she resumed her scrutiny of Lady Juliana. You really are a pretty creature. You've got a very handsome nose and your mouths very well. But I don't like your eyes. They're too large and too light. They're saucer eyes, and I don't like saucer eyes. Why hate you black eyes? You're not a bit like your father. I knew him very well. Your mother was a narress. Your father married her for her money and she married him to be a countess. So that's the history of their marriage. Huh! This well-bred harangue was delivered in an unvarying tone and with unmoved muscles. For though the lady seldom failed of calling forth some conspicuous emotion, either of shame, mirth, or anger on the countenances of her hearers, she had never been known to betray any correspondent feelings on her own. Yet her features were finely formed, marked and expressive, and in spite of her ridiculous dress and eccentric manners, an air of dignity was diffused over her whole person that screened her from the ridicule to which she must otherwise have been exposed. Amazement at the uncouth garb and singular address of Lady MacLachlan was seldom unmixed with terror at the stern, imperious manner that accompanied all her actions. Such were the feelings of Lady Juliana as she remained subjected to her rude gaze and impertinent remarks. My lady, squeaked Sir Samson from forth his easy chair. My love, interrogated his lady as she leaned upon her stick. I want to be introduced to my Lady Juliana Douglas, so give me your hand, attempting at the same time to emerge from the huge leatheren receptacle into which he had been plunged by the care of the kind sisters. Oh, pray sit still, dear Sir Samson, for I'd they as usual all at once. Our sweet niece will come to you. Don't take the trouble to rise. Pray don't, each putting a hand on this man of might, as he was half risen, and pushing him down. I come here, my dear, said Lady MacLachlan. You're abler to walk to Sir Samson than he to you, pulling Lady Juliana in front of the easy chair. There, that's her. You see, she is very pretty. Thones, what is the meaning of all this, screamed the enraged baronet. My Lady Juliana Douglas, I am shocked beyond expression at this freedom of my ladies. I beg your ladyship ten thousand pardons. Pray be seated. I'm shocked. I'm ready to feign at the impropriety of this introduction, so contrary to all rules of etiquette. How could you behave in such a manner, my Lady MacLachlan? Why, you know, my dear, your legs may be very good legs, but I can't walk," replied she, with her usual sang-froid. My Lady MacLachlan, you perfectly confound me, stuttering with rage. My Lady Juliana Douglas, see here, stretching out a meager shank, to which not even the military boot and large spur could give a respectable appearance. You see that leg, strong and straight, stroking it down. Now behold the fate of war, dragging forward the other, almost one half its original dimensions. These legs were once the same, but I repined not, I sacrificed it in a noble cause. To that leg, my sovereign owes his life. Well, I declare I had no idea. I thought always it had been rheumatism, burst from the lips of the Estonia spinsters, as they crowded round the illustrious limb, and regarded it with looks of veneration. Hump! Emphatically uttered his lady, the stories as simple when ladies and soon told. I happened to be attending his majesty at a review. I was then, aid to camp, to lord, his horse took fright. I, I, I, here, in spite of all the efforts that could be made to suppress it, the royal cough burst forth with a violence that threatened to silence its brave owner forever. It's very strange you will talk, my love, said his sympathizing lady as she supported him. Talking never did, nor never will agree with you. It's very strange what pleasure people take in talking. Hump! Is there anything dear Sir Samson could take, asked Miss Grizzie? Could take? I don't know what you mean by could take. He couldn't take the moon if you meant that, but he must take what I give him. So call Philistine. He knows where my cough tincture is. We have plenty of it in this press, said Miss Grizzie, flying to a cupboard, and, drawing forth a bottle, she poured out a bumper and presented it to Sir Samson. I'm poisoned, gaspy feebly. That's not my lady's cough tincture. Not cough tincture, repeated the horror-struck doctoress, as for the first time she examined the label. Oh! I declare! Neither it is. It's my own stomach lotion. Bless me, what will be done! And she wrung her hands in despair. Oh! Murdoch! Flying to the Philistine, as he entered with the real cough tincture, I've given Sir Samson a dose of my own stomach lotion by mistake, and I am terrified for the consequences. Oh! but her need not be feared. Her will know be I here the war out. For hers would not take the fesic that the lady ordered her yestrine. Well, I declare things are wisely ordered, observed, Miss Grizzie. In that case, it may do, dear Sir Samson, a great deal of good. Just as this pleasing idea was suggested, Douglas and his father entered. And the ceremony of presenting her nephew to her friend was performed by Miss Grizzie in her most conciliating manner. Dear Lady MacLachlan, this is our nephew, Henry, who, I know, has the highest veneration for Sir Samson and you. Henry, I assure you Lady MacLachlan takes the greatest interest in everything that concerns Lady Julianna and you. Humpf! rejoined her ladyship as she surveyed him from head to foot. So your wife fell in love with you, it seems. Well, the more fool she, I never knew any good to come of love marriages. Douglas colored while he affected to laugh at this extraordinary address. And withdrawing himself from her scrutiny, he went to the station by the side of his Julianna. Now, girls, I must go to my toilet. Which of you am I to have for my handmaid? Oh, we'll all go, eagerly exclaimed the three nymphs. Our dear niece will excuse us for a little. Young people are never at a loss to amuse one another. Venus and the Graces by Job exclaimed Sir Samson, bowing with an air of gallantry. And now I must go and adonize a little myself. Then he then separated to perform the important offices of the toilet. End of Chapter 9 Recording by Patty Cunningham Chapter 10 of Marriage Volume 1 This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Patty Cunningham Marriage Volume 1 by Susan Edmundstone Ferrier Chapter 10 Nature here Wantoned as in her prime and played at will her virgin fancies. Milton The gentlemen were already assembled round the drying-room fire impatiently waiting the hour of dinner when Lady MacLachlan and her three friends entered. The masculine habiliments of the morning had been exchanged for a more feminine costume. She was now arrayed in a pompadour satin negligee and pettycoat trimmed with Brussels lace. A high-starch tankerchief formed a complete breastwork on which amid a large bouquet of truly artificial roses reposed a miniature of Sir Samson à la militaire. A small fly-cap of antique lace was scarcely perceptible on the summit of a stupendous frizzled toupee hemmed in on each side by large curls. The muffin-stick had been relinquished for a large fan, something resembling an Indian screen, which she waved to and fro in one hand while a vast brocaded work-bag was suspended from the other. So, Major Douglas, your servant, said she, in answer to the constrained formal bow with which he saluted her on her entrance, why it's so long since I've seen you that you may be a grandfather for ought I know. The poor awkward misses that moment came sneaking into the room. As for you girls, you'll never be grandmothers, you'll never be married unless to wild men of the woods. I suppose you'd like that. It would save you the trouble of combing your hair and tying your shoes, for then you could go without clothes all together, humph! You'd be much better without clothes than to put them on as you do, seizing upon the lucklessness baby as she endeavored to steal behind backs. And here, in justice to the lady, it must be owned that for once she had some grounds for anima-adversion in the dress and appearance of the Mrs. Douglas. They had stayed out running races and riding on a pony until near the dinner-hour, and dreading their father's displeasure should they be too late, they had with the utmost haste exchanged their thick morning-dresses and gowns made by a Mantoa maker of the neighborhood in the extreme of a two-year-old fashion, when wastes were not. But as Dame Nature had been particularly lavish in the length of theirs, and the stay-maker had, according to their aunt's direction, given them full measure of their new dark stays, there existed a visible breach between the wastes of their gowns and the bands of their petticoats, which they had vainly sought to adjust by a meeting. Their hair had been curled but not combed, and dark gloves had been hastily drawn on to hide red arms. I suppose, continued the stern Lady McLaughlin, as she twirled her victim round and round, I suppose you think yourself vastly smart and well-dressed. Yes, you are very neat, very neat indeed. One would suppose Ben Johnson had you in his eye long. Then, in a voice like thunder, she chanted forth, Give me a look, give me a face that makes simplicity a grace. Robes loosely flowing, hair is free, such sweet neglect, more taketh me. Miss Grizzie was in the utmost perplexity between her inclination to urge something in extinuation for the poor girls and her fear of dissenting other, of not immediately agreeing with her. She therefore steered as usual the middle course and kept saying, Well, children, really what Lady McLaughlin says is all very true. At the same time, turning to her friend, I declare it's not much to be wondered at. Young people are so thoughtless, poor lambs. What's all this war, kapoo? said the old gentleman angrily. The girlies are well enough. No matter we am, they're no dress like all queens or stage-actresses. An aglanced desire from Lady McLaughlin to his elegant daughter-in-law, who just then entered, hanging, according to custom, on her husband, and preceded by Cupid. Mrs. Douglas followed, and the sound of the dinner bell put a stop to the dispute. Come, my lady, we'll see how the dinners dressed, said the Laird, as he seized Lady McLaughlin by the tip of the finger, and holding it up aloft, they marched into the dining-room. Permit me, my Lady Julianna Douglas, said the little baronet, with much difficulty hobbling towards her, and attempting to take her hand. Come, hairy love! Hear, Cupid! cried she, and without noticing the enraged Sir Samson, she passed on, humming a tune, and leaning upon her husband. Astonishing! Perfectly astonishing! exclaimed the baronet, how a young woman of Lady Julianna's rank and fashion should be guilty of such a solicism in good breeding. She is very young, said Mrs. Douglas smiling, as he limped along with her, and you must make allowances for her. But, indeed, I think her beauty must ever be a sufficient excuse for any little errors you may commit with a person of such taste and gallantry as Sir Samson McLaughlin. When the little baronet smiled, pressed the handy held, and soothed by the well-timed compliment, he seated himself next to Lady Julianna with some complacency. As she insisted on having her husband on the other side of her, Mr. Douglas was condemned to take his station by the hated Lady McLaughlin, who, for the first time observing Mrs. Douglas, called to her, Come here, my love! I haven't seen you these hundred years! Then, seizing her face between her hands, she saluted her in the usual style. There, at length releasing Mrs. Douglas from her grip, there's for you. I love you very much. You're neither a fool nor a hoiden. You're a fine, intelligent being. Having carefully rolled up and deposited her gloves in her pocket, she pulled out a pen-cushion, and calling Miss Bella, desired her to pen her napkin for the rest of her years. Which done, she began to devour her soup in silence. Peace was, however, of short duration. Old Donald, in removing a dish of whipped cream, unfortunately overturned one upon Lady McLaughlin's pompadour satin petticoat, the only part of her dress that was unprotected. Do you see what you have done, you old Donald you? A St. Vitus's dance. A fit hand to carry whipped cream, to be sure. Why, I could as well carry a custard on the point of a bayonet. Oomph! Dear me, Donald, how could you be so senseless, cried Miss Jackie? Preserve me, Donald, I thought you had more sense, squeaked Miss Nicky. I am sure, Donald, that was not like you, having a different remedy. It's all of you, girls, that this has happened. Why can't you have a larger tablecloth upon your table? And that old man has the palsy. Why don't you electrify him? In a tone admirably calculated to have that effect. I declare it's all very true, observed Miss Grizzie. The tablecloth is very small, and Donald certainly does shake. That cannot be denied. I'm not sure I'm doing her voice. He is so obstinate. We really don't know what to do with him. My sisters and I attempted to use the flush brush with him. Oh! and an excellent thing it is. I make Philistine rub Sir Samson every morning and night. If it was not for that, and his cough, nobody would know whether he were dead or alive. I don't believe he would know himself. Oomph! Sir Samson's lemon face assumed an orange hue of his domestic detail. But not daring to contradict the facts, he prudently turned a deaf ear to them, and attempted to carry on a flirtation with Lady Julianna through the medium of Cupid, whom he had coaxed upon his knee. Dinner being at length ended, toast succeeded, and each of the ladies haven't given her favourite lair, the signal of retreat was given, and a general movement took place. Lady Julianna, throwing herself up to her house, called Mrs. Douglas to her. Do sit down here and talk with me, yawned she. Her sister-in-law, with great good humour, fetched her work and seated herself by the spoilt child. What strange thing is that you are making, as she, as Mrs. Douglas pulled out her knitting? It's a child's stocking, replied her sister-in-law. A child's stocking? Oh! by the by! Have you a great many children? None answered Mrs. Douglas, with a half stifled sigh. None at all? repeated Lady Julianna with surprise. Then, why do you make children's stockings? I make them for those whose parents cannot afford to purchase them. La! What poor wretches they must be that can't afford to buy stockings, rejoined Lady Julianna with a yawn. It's monstrous good of you to make them to be sure. But it must be a shocking bore. And such a trouble! And another long yawn succeeded. Not half such a bore to me as to sit idle, returned Mrs. Douglas with a smile. Nor near so much trouble as you undergo with your favourites. Lady Julianna made no reply, but turning from her sister-in-law soon was, or affected to be, sound asleep, from which she was only roused by the entrance of the gentleman. Or a real millady, asked the lair, going up to his daughter-in-law. Julia Love, said her husband, my father asks you if you choose cards or dancing. There's nobody to dance with, said she, casting a languid glance around. I'll play it cards. Not wist, surely, said Henry. Wist? Oh heavens, no! Well, well, you youngsters will get a round game. Come, my lady MacLachlan! Grizzy, Mrs. Douglas! Hey, for the odd trick and the honours! What would your ladyship choose to play at, asked Miss Jackie, advancing with a pack of cards in one hand, and a box of counters in the other? Oh, anything! I like one hundred very well. Or quadril. Or... I really don't care what. The Misses, who had gathered round and were standing gaping in joyful expectation of Pope Joan or a pool at commerce, here exchanged sorrowful glances. I am afraid the young people don't play these games, replied Miss Jackie. But we've counters enough, shaking her little box, for Pope Joan, and we all know that. Pope Joan! I never heard of such a game, replied Lady Juliana. Oh, we can soon learn you, said Miss Nicky, who, having spread the green cloth to join the consultation. I hate to be taught, said Lady Juliana with a yawn. Besides, I am sure it must be something very stupid. Ask if she plays commerce, whispered Miss Bella to Miss Baby. The question was put, but with no better success, and the young ladies' faces again bespoke their disappointment, which their brother observing he good-naturedly declared his perfect knowledge of commerce. And I must insist upon teaching you, Juliana, gently dragging her to the table. What's the pool to be, asked one of the young ladies? I'm sure I don't know, said the ants, looking to each other. I suppose we must make it sixpence, said Miss Jackie, after whispering consultation with her sisters. In that case, we can afford nothing to the best hand, observed Miss Nicky, and we ought to have five lives in grace, added one of the nieces. These points, having been conceded, the preliminaries were at length settled. The cards were slowly doled out by Miss Jackie, and Lady Juliana was carefully instructed in the rules of the game, and strongly recommended always to try for a sequence, or pairs, etc. And if you win, rejoined Miss Nicky, shaking the snuffer stand in which were deposited the sixpences, you get all this. As it may be conjectured, Lady Juliana's patience could not survive more than one life. She had no notion of playing for sixpences, and could not be at the trouble to attend to any instructions. She therefore quickly retired in disgust, leaving the ants and nieces to struggle for the glorious prize. My dear child, you played that last stroke like a perfect natural, cried Lady McLaughlin to Miss Grizzie, as the rubber ended they arose from the table. Indeed, I declare, I dare say I did, replied her friend in a deprecating tone. Dare say you did, I know you did. I knew the ace lay with you, I knew that as well as if I had seen it. I suppose you have eyes, but I don't know. If you have, didn't you see Glenfern turn up the king, and yet you returned his lead, returned our adversary's lead in the face of his king. I've been telling you these twenty years not to return your adversary's lead. Nothing can be more despicable. Nothing can be greater proof of imbecility of mind. Then, seating herself, she began to exercise her fan with considerable activity. This has been the most disagreeable day I ever spent in this house, girls. I don't know what's come over you, but you are all wrong. My petticoats ruined. My pockets picked at cards. It won't do, girls. It won't do. Don't understand it, said Miss Grizzie, in a rueful accent. There really appears to have been some fatality. Fatality? I wish you would give everything its right name. What do you mean by fatality? I declare, I am sure, I really don't know, stammered the unfortunate Grizzie. Do you mean that the spilling of the custard was the work of an angel, demanded her unrelenting friend? Oh, certainly not. Is the devil tempted you to throw away your ace there? I suppose there's a fatality and are going to supper just now, continued she, as her deep-toned voice resounded through the passage that conducted to the dining-room. And I suppose it will be called a fatality of that old fate, pointing to Donald, scalds me to death with that mess of porridge he's going to put on the table. No such fatality, however, occurred. And the rest of the evening passed off in as much harmony as could be expected from the very heterogeneous parts of which the society was formed. The family group had already assembled round the breakfast-table with the exception of Lady Giuliana, who chose to take that meal in bed. But contrary to her usual custom, no Lady MacLachlan had yet made her appearance. The scones will be like leather, said Miss Grizzie, as she wrapped another napkin round them. The tables cried Miss Jackie, popping them into the slot-basin. The tea will be like Brandy, observed Miss Nicky, as she poured more water to the three teaspoons full she had infused. I wish we saw our breakfast, said the Laird, as he finished the newspapers and deposited his spectacles in his pocket. At that moment the door opened, and the person in question entered in her travelling dress followed by Sir Samson, Philistine bringing up the rear rain-bag and a little band-box. I hope your bed was warm and comfortable. I hope you rested well. I hope Sir Samson's quite well, immediately burst as if from a thousand voices, while the sisters officially fluttered round their friend. I rested very ill. My bed was very uncomfortable, and Sir Samson's as sick as a cat. Hmm! Three disconcilate blasphemies here burst forth. Perhaps your bed was too hard, said Miss Grizzie. Or too soft, suggested Miss Jackie. Or too hot, added Miss Nicky. It was neither too hard, nor too soft, nor too hot, nor too cold, thundered the lady, as she seated herself at the table, but it was all of them. I declare that's most distressing, said Miss Grizzie, in a tone of sorrowful amazement. Was your head high enough, said Miss Lachlan? Perhaps it was too high, said Miss Jackie. I know nothing more disagreeable than a high head, remarked Miss Nicky. Except a fool's head! The sound of a carriage here set all ears on full stretch, and presently the well-known pea-green drew up. Dear me! Bless me! Goodness me! shrieked the three ladies at once. Surely, Lady McLachlan, you don't. You won't. This must be a mistake. There's no mistake in the madder girls, replied their friend with her accustomed sing-froid. I'm going home. So I ordered the carriage, that's all. Hmm! Going home, faintly murmured all the disconsolate spinsters. What? I suppose you think I ought to stay here and have another petticoat spoiled, or lose another half-crown at cards, or have the finishing stroke put on Sir Samson. Oh! Lady McLachlan was three times uttered in reproachful accents. I don't know what else I should stay for. You are not yourselves, girls. You've all turned topsy-turvy. I've visited here these twenty years, and I never saw things in the state they are now. I declare it's very true, sighed Miss Grizzie. We certainly are a little in confusion. That can't be denied. Denied? Why, can you deny that my petticoats ruined? Can you deny that my pocket was picked of half a crown for nothing? Can you deny that Sir Samson has been half poisoned, and my Lady McLachlan interrupted the enraged husband? I—I— I am surprised. I am shocked. Sounds, my lady, I won't suffer this. I cannot stand it. And pushing his teacup away he arose and limped to the window. Philistine here entered to inform his mistress that Awthing was ready. Study, boys, study. I always am ready," responded the lady in a tone adapted to the song. Now I am ready. Say nothing, girls, you know my rules. Here, Philistine, wrap up Sir Samson and put him in. Get along, my love. Goodbye, girls, and I hope you will all be restored to your right senses soon. Oh, Lady McLachlan, whined the weeping, grizzy as she embraced her friend, who, somewhat melted at the signs of her distress, balled out from the carriage as the door was shut. Well, God bless you, girls, and make you what you have been. And come to Lock Marley Castle soon, and bring your wits along with you. The carriage then drove off, and the three disconsolate sisters returned to the parlor to hold a cabinet council as to the causes of the late disasters.