 Guac amole, guac guac amole, guac amole, guac guac amole. Josh! Rick, do you need some Corbin? I'm Rick. Rick, are you easily offended? No. It depends on what you're talking about. Something can offend me. What are you saying? Sure. That's not directly at you or someone you love. Yes. For example, one of the reasons I don't like the Exorcist is because there is a singular moment in it that is personally deeply offensive to see them do with something that is an image of Jesus. What about comedy usually? No. There's literal... I can't... There have been times I've been offended and what it did is it made me go, oh wow, I can't believe they just said that. I know. Like, I've had... I've heard people... And I've heard somebody go, oh wow, they're gonna get in a lot of trouble for that. That was not okay. Well... I've never had one comedian that I've heard doing there like Bill Cosby offended me and it wasn't his comedy. It was his personal life where no comedian I've ever heard has made me mad at that comedian for their comedy. I may not like their comedy, but I've never personally been offended by it. This made a lot of people mad. What are we watching? Who are watching me? AIB Roast of Ranbir Kapoor. Oh. Did this really make a lot of people mad? Not Ranbir. Sorry. Ranbir. Okay. And Arjun. I've made a lot of people mad. Well, because I've discovered there's a lot of people who just don't have a sense of humor and they take everything personally. It's very possible that's what it was. I don't know. But this was a... I love roasts. I do too. And I just gotta ask for the people who get offended by comedy because there are millions and millions and millions of people who get offended by comedy in India the ways that we don't hear. I'm not saying we don't get offended. It's the ways in which they get offended. There's some comedians that I don't know if you guys have ever seen or heard, but in comparison it just boggles my mind of some of the things that I know people get offended by when you compare it to other comedians, even comedians right now like Chapelle and Bill Barr and Ricky Treveys. But... So this is... I've been wanting actually... I've heard about this. I've wanted to react to this for a long, long time. So I'm very, very excited. I love roasts. Yeah. So this is a roast of Arjun Kapoor. And... Oh, together. And Ranbir. It's a dual roast on both of them. That AIB put on. Okay. So it's like the ones that they do here, like Justin Bieber and all that. Which by the way, in a roast, the intention is the person who is the most offensive is the winner of the roast. Yeah. So I love it when people get offended. This is our last video of the day because it's 50 minutes long. Oh my... We're watching the whole thing. Okay. We're watching the whole thing. All right. Okay. This video we're about to react to is 50 minutes long, 5-0. We're watching the whole roast. We're going to watch the whole roast. This is our last video of the day. Wow. I'm sure she's heard about it. Yeah. It's the roast of Arjun. She's like, this is a very famous roast that happened. I'm going to make a prediction right now. Here's the prediction. There's going to be countless numbers of you watching this at this very moment offended by our reaction to what offended you. And we weren't offended because you were offended. I can't wait. Me too. But anyways, I don't know if there's going to be all at once. Thanks a lot, Corbin. Yeah. I don't know if there's going to be all at once, or if I'm going to put this in parts because it's a long video. You will know by the time you see this. I mean, it'll be in full on Patreon, but I don't know if on YouTube I will put it up in parts or if I will just put it all up. If it is, that's just letting you know. Cool. Anyways, I'm hoping to be offended. Here we go. I like when people are offended. That makes me so happy. Roasts are some of the best. New Yorkers, man. Leave it to New Yorkers to offend. Ha, ha, ha. I will show the mercy. Hey. Master this evening. Yeah. And he would happily fuck. He's welcome to the stage. Corbin. Sure. Thank you for that glorious introduction. My mother's in the front row and she will need an ambulance today. All right, so thank you. Good evening. Welcome to the AIV knockout of Arjun Kapoor and Ranveer Singh. In front of the who's who of Mumbai is who the fuck is who of Mumbai? Like seriously, who are you guys? Why are you all so poor and ugly? Who found you? Anurag Kashyap? You who don't know how it really works, how the roast works. Some foul horrific things are going to be said tonight. I'm not kidding. I truly am not. If you're easily offended or even really difficultly offended, you should leave right now. Seriously. If you're warned it's going to get filled here, then Tanmay Bhatskolan after a buffet. Oh my God. What a great night. Ranveer Singh, Arjun Kapoor, me. You get three stars. Three stars for four thousand bucks. Rajeev Masan usually charges five lakhs for that. He's a reviewer. Don't laugh, Rajeev. I had the receipt. I swear I do. Seriously, Rajeev. Seriously. You have no integrity. If you were a bigger sellout, you would be called all India bachos. Raghu Ramota and I like you. And I don't even know who the fuck he is. Raghu, I hate your show. I truly do. From my heart. If I wanted to be yelled at by an angry, unfunny asshole, I'd go watch Kursimran Thamba to stand up. Speaking of unfunny assholes, Aditi Mittal is here. Aditi Mittal, who is famous for Arjun Kapoor, who are just about famous. Aditi Mittal was invited here tonight because Abish Matthew did not want to be the least known person on the panel. Ashish Shakya, ladies and gentlemen. Ashish, dude. If you were any blacker, Anjadina Jolie would adopt you. How about these losers? No, tonight we celebrate the factor. Once again, an audience has paid way too much money to watch another two hour long piece of shit with Ranveer Singh and Arjun Kapoor. So, let the filth begin. Karthi. Fimba bucket. No, guys. His ass looped up as Simi Karewa's dildo. It's Nick's big thing. From Bollywood's Nick's big thing to Bollywood's bomber big thing. I like big things. Head of his career was from the joint hero backstage. He is still Bollywood's number one choice to play a diverse range of characters, such as... I'm sure we're the haramzadi. I'm not Indian. I'm not Indian. Let's make the call. I'm not Indian. We're another North Indian. After watching his films, all the critics have the same verdict. Tonight, this awesome Jewsome is going to get knocked out. Hey, ladies and gentlemen. I've been doing more than that for four years. I've got to repeat the gesture. Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to roast the shit out of the brightest, hottest and freshest talent in Bollywood today. And Arjun Kapoor as well. Sit down. I have to say, what a mixed bag we have on this panel. Truly, what a mixed bag. A coke addict, a drama queen, an asshole, a pervert. And that's just one of these things. Actually, that's mean. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. Seriously. What do you call a dashing, talented superstar who has women dying to be with him? Ranbir Kapoor. I'm not saying, I'm not saying that Ranbir Singh does shit films, but truly, the last good thing that he was in was Deepika Padukone. Congratulations are in order. Ranbir Singh completed four years in the movie industry. Four years, ladies and gentlemen. That's one year of acting and three years about getting over Anushka Sharma. Be fat and ugly. Well done. Faster than Deepika dropped her dating standards. People know this, man. But you flunked the 12th standard. That means, technically, you're not even qualified to be a bus conductor. Which is really sad, because I think you would have sold way more tickets as a bus conductor. Man, you played an IIM student in two states. But you're so illiterate that the only IIM student you could play was Chetan Bhagat. In two states, Arjun plays a Punjabi guy who falls for a hot South Indian. So basically, he played Moni Kapoor. His reference I don't get. Yeah, me too. But, but, but, congratulations guys. On your big night, this is the shiverest thing you've agreed to do since good day. Now, let's move on to our first roster for the evening, Ashish Shakya. Now, Ashish Shakya is so black. His mother screamed him for Ebola when he was born. Ladies and gentlemen, on the last rock and roll stage, Ashish Shakya. Thank you, thank you. We have a huge round of applause for my opening act junior comedian Karan Josh. I'd like to thank the entire panel for coming out today and Karan for not. I'm just saying Karan, let's do this tonight. It's out in the open. It's not a secret anymore. Everybody knows this. So, let's just address the elephant in the room. What's up, man? That's it. Another little announcement. Parniti Chopra is not here tonight because we told her she'd get fucked by ten dudes in front of 4,000 people. Karan Josh, you're right. If you told him he'd get fucked by ten dudes in front of 4,000 people. Abish Matthew is here. Abish Matthew. Yeah. Abish is so unattractive that he was an altar boy for seven years and not one priest but a sister. Anjoshi is there later. Anjoshi. The only reason for famous is because you dated Alia Bhatt's sister. That's... That's... You're like the Robert Wutherhoff comedy. Except you have no money. But let's get to the real reason, the real reason. Ranveer Singh and Arjun Kapoor. The two skate marks in the commode that is Bollywood. Just look at them sitting there marinating in their own mediocrity management. Ranveer, you did an ad for DRX. It's the first time I saw a condom being endorsed by an STD. Ranveer Singh is hyper but Titi Sinda just tried to snort him back steam. Your girlfriend's way more talented than you are, Arjun man. She was in Lutera. Lutera. You guys in Lutera based on a wendy story called The Last Leaf because Sonakshi ate the rest of the leaves. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding, man. Sonakshi doesn't eat salads. Ranveer did well. Ranveer did well. He got Deepika, yeah? I like this couple. Deepika and Ranveer. What an awesome couple, right? Like, Deepika is a state-level badminton player and Ranveer is a national-level sex offender. You know what, Karan? Ranveer is not going to admit it but Kuch Kuch Hota Hai is one of his favourite films, all-time favourite films ever. Like, even today that film makes him reach out for a box of tissues because he's the only guy who will jerk off to Faridah Chalala. I mean, it was either her or him I love, you know? But, you know, jokes aside, Lane, I mean, jokes aside, I just want to say that these guys are awesome for doing this. You guys suck sports. This would not have been possible without you guys. For an usual. This would not have been possible without you because I've never seen somebody that has fucked up careers. Thank you so much. You guys have been great. Cheers. Ladies and gentlemen, our next roster is the loud, classless tumour responsible for the roadies. Look at you, you bald and you look like Vishal Darlani got chemo. Please welcome on stage the human gonad, Raghuram. The human gonad. Thank you. Thank you so much. I was very nervous coming here being the only non-comic here along with Rajiv Masan. I thought this would be new. But there's something very nice and comforting, familiar about this. One thing is, the last time I saw so many chutes in one place, I was auditioning them. You fuckers, sit here and diss me and roadies when basically you have the same philosophy with your videos. Galiya Do, Lako Chutya Dekhen. Boswati King. I just gave you 50 more views. Congrats on putting up this Pakal show. No wonder you put it in town otherwise our friend Rohan would never be here. You tawny bastard. He's so tawny, he thinks Malhar is something loyal same code. And you dare make fun of my illiterate audience. The only way you can get time to read anything printed on paper is to serve him bail in it. Karan I've watched. My name is Karan the other day. Karan, am I saying it right? Karan from The Epic Goddess. I must say, your film is shit. Shit from the anus. Fun fact, my wife played a character in your film. Did you know that? I almost diverted over it. Then I did the smart ones on our way even. That brings me to the girls of the hour, the bells of the ball, Pranveer and Arjun. You've been an inspiration to the youth of this country. You guys send out the message loud and clear that if you work hard and if you persevere then one day you too can suck at the Chopra's cock. Pranveer, I'm not saying Arjun is getting sick of you but soon he's going to leave you for Virat Kohli. In Lutera, Ranveer needs to show a moment of warmth somewhere in Rangol. I like that film. I think that was the right one. Pranveer goes to prove that no matter how remote, dangerous or smelly, if there is a hole, Pranveer Singh will interact. I'm serious now. Thank you so much for letting me do this. Pranveer and Arjun are the nicest, most sporting set of canting Chodubhagar London Fugitive Bastards development. Cheers. It's been a roast so far. It's really good so far. The next roast, ladies, please give it up for the funniest guy we have Tange Rohan and Ashish Gurthiran Thamma. The ones on top are founders. I can't say that. Give it up Karan. It's a tall, dark and ugly. Like many in the industry have. Raghuram is here. Karan backstage Karan was like, I don't want it. Please fuck off. Raghuram, you also did a season of roadies in the United States. Congratulations, man. Congratulations on being the biggest bunch of assholes to enter the United States since 9-11. Oh my goodness. Rohan Joshi is here. Rohan Joshi is here. Oh my god. The only reason Rohan Joshi is a part of A.I.B is because he's cute. Rohan, how does it feel to be the Ramagandhi of A.I.B? It's nice. Tanwe Bhatt is her really sensitive man, Tanwe Bhatt. When Tanwe Bhatt is lonely, he doesn't go on Tinder. He goes on Zoomito. Rajiv Masan is here. Rajiv Masan. Seriously, Masan, though, stop calling yourself a journalist. Every time you call yourself a journalist, ISIS beheads a real one. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. A.I.B. has no idea what the fuck ISIS is. Your products in the kitchen, that is the ISI mark that is different. Abish Mathew is here. Abish Mathew. Abish Mathew is so Catholic. Once he's done masturbating, it takes three days for his dick to resurrect. Aditi Mittal is the Aditi Mittal and actress. Aditi Mittal is the only actress where if you Google Aditi Mittal Hotpicks, Google is like Bhai toh a bina hilaise hoja please, please. Relax. Please. Please ya, please. Sharangar, advance setting me kuch at least incognito mode to chalal ya. Please, like. Ashish Shakya is there. Ashish Shakya. Ashish Shakya is so black, his girlfriend gives him a glow job every time she craves kala khatta. I'm at two weeks. But seriously Karan, director, producer, writer, actor, you're like four guys in one. Exactly how you like it. But seriously, you know Karan Johar is now best friends with Anurad Kashyap so he can get some like indie cred. It's the first time in Bollywood, someone has slept their way to the bottom. And now for the man of the hour, the man of the hour Ranveer Singh and Arjun Kapoor. Ranveer Singh and Arjun Kapoor. You know Arjun Kapoor failed the 12th standard and then lost. If he had come here he wouldn't be in Bollywood. But seriously Arjun has failed the 12th standard and after that he lost a lot of weight. He's Smriti Irani in reverse. I guess Smriti Irani. Honestly, we wanted to get Ranveer Kapoor for the show but we could only manage Ranveer which is also what Deepika did so I guess it's fine. This wouldn't have been possible without you and your PR team's dedication to making you to look cool. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. That was good. They're all being good. This is a roast. Our next roast ladies and gentlemen is Rohan Joshi. Look at all these Bollywood people in the front row looking scandalised. Does it look familiar Rajeev? No, no, no, wait. Karan, I have a better song for you since you're so inspired by the chobras. Our next roast ladies and gentlemen is Rohan Joshi. Rohan Joshi recently moved from Malabar Hill to Santa Cruz. That's like moving from Ranveer Kapoor to Ranveer Singh. The stupidest thing I've ever heard. Who does that? So please welcome the worst thing to happen to the Gujarati since Tarak Mehta. Rohan Joshi. Holy crap. Look at all these Bollywood people in the front row looking scandalised. Last time I saw a bunch of Bollywood people look scandalised. They've just been told it's not by them. Why aren't they saying in public what we say at parties? Karan, you are exactly like the movies you make. You both have massive openings. Your filmography, all right? Let me do this. Kuch kuch hota hai, kal ho na ho, kabhi khushi, kabhi gham, kabhi alvidha na kehna. Dude, you are so obsessed with the letter K. You probably snot potassium. Alia, I don't even try. Kabhi khushi, kabhi gham is the worst fucking thing I have ever seen. It is the worst thing that Amitabh Bachchan has ever been in. And he's been in a fucking coma. Let's talk some more about kabhi khushi, kabhi gham. Yes. In kabhi khushi, kabhi gham an enormously fat child magically grows up to be Hrithik Roshan. Yes. Oh, that's so good. Tanmay Bhat, ladies and gentlemen, Tanmay Bhat is so fat. The small intestine is his large intestine. And his large intestine is Mukesh Ambani. Abish Matthew is here. How's it going, man? You going? Oh, man. You sweet, virginal boy. Abish Matthew is such a virgin that in five days he's going to give birth to Jesus. Unfortunately, Abish Matthew is also so ugly that Jesus doesn't love him. He just wants to be friends. Good Simran Khamba, what's up, man? All the cheap seats are here. Oh, man. This is so bad. Good Simran Khamba's dad's name I am not making this up is Manmohan Singh. I'm not making this up. This just goes to show that if your name is Manmohan Singh, you'll have to take care of one child in your life. Oh. Ashish Shakya represent just speaking in your accent. But since the Ashish Shakya is so black he should be sitting in a Swiss bank account. Ashish Shakya is so black a white cop got away with killing him. Oh, God. Oh, my. Raghu Ram of Rody's fame. Raghu, you dedicated an entire decade of your life to giving one uneducated child every year a shitty motorcycle. You're like Muslim Santa Claus. We sing an Arjal Kapoor. Ranveer Singh, you're Sindhi, aren't you? You're so Sindhi that you insist that your girlfriends bring back the receipts from for tax purposes. But you're such a pervert, Ranveer. You are. It's true. You're such a pervert that that photograph of Deepika Padukone in the times of India was taken by him. You've gone on record to say that Aditya Chopra told you at the start of your career that you are not a good-looking guy. Brother, wear an invisible dude tells you you're ugly. I'll just stay down there because I have to hand it to you. It takes a special person to be the least talented person in a family that has Sonam and Sanjay Kapoor. But seriously, thank you guys. It's mind-blowingly cool of you to do this and thank you so much for it. Thank you so much. He's so good. He's so black. He killed him and got away with it. Oh my God. He's so good. He's like Muslim Santa Claus. And sexual asphyxiation is this.