 Family Theatre presents Joe E. Brown and Gordon Oliver. From Hollywood, the Mutual Network in Cooperation with Family Theatre presents Gordon Oliver in The Major, He Was a Sailor. To introduce the drama, here is your host, Joe E. Brown. Thank you, Tony LaFranco. Family Theatre's only purpose is to bring to everyone's attention a practice that must become an important part of our lives. If we are to win peace for ourselves, peace for our families and peace for the world, Family Theatre urges you to pray. Pray together as a family. Faith. F-A-I-T-H. One syllable, one word. Yet it comes to men in many ways and many forms, in many places. And it becomes many things. Like a weapon, not government issued but powerful and swift. Our story tonight is of a PT boat and its small crew off the coast of China. Reefs all around them. Fog. Too thick to see the coral. Their engines silenced by a gunboat. Their skipper silenced too. So they sit. Waiting. Waiting for the verdict on their engines. And for another verdict. A big one. We call our story strangely enough, The Major. He was a sailor. Starring Gordon Oliver as The Major. You can't lose a man on a PT boat even on a fog. Here, Chief. Oh, I checked the damage, sir. I thought I'd better report to you. To me? Yes, sir. The skipper got it back there. Oh. Chief, where the devil to that gunboat come from? Where do any of them come from, sir? I don't know. A search line out of the fog. The enemy hitting all around us. What about the crew? Two dead beside the skipper. Charlie and Pancho. Rest are okay. But you, sir, how's that arm? I'm all right. What time is it, Chief? Close to twenty-hundred, sir. We're behind schedule. Have to get the purple point and pick up those men. Here, let me up, sir. Better... better rest a minute more, Chief. Mr. Coles, I don't think we can try that run for the mainland. Rainer's finished. One engine out. Maybe two. Only half a crew. And without the skipper, well... They even teach intelligence officers a little navigation, Chief. Don't worry, huh? I'll find the beach. Yes, sir. Only... Only nothing, Chief. This operation is important. Those two men are intelligence officers. And we need the information that only they have. Yes, sir. Oh, I forgot to tell you. We pulled two survivors out of the water back there. Survivors? Of what? An LST. The gunboat must have been chasing when they found us. The LST didn't have a chance. We picked up a G.I. and a chaplain. A chaplain? Yes, sir. Army major. He's okay, but the G.I. is in bad shape. Well, I mean, we've got the Lord on our side now. Give me a hand, Chief. Yes, sir. Sir, are you okay? Something other than that bum arm? Did you ever notice how the rain shimmers against the water at night, Chief? Huh? Mr. Coles passed out. Ralph! Ralph, topside quick. Ensign Coles has hurt bad. Chin this up on these blasted charts. Let me see. Oh, is that you, Ralph? How's Mr. Coles? Bad. Shrapnel right in the middle. The chaplain's with him. Bad? How bad? I'm not a doctor, Chief, but he's through for this trip. Maybe a lot of trips. Need a doctor right away. A doctor? There ain't no doctor here. That's the China coast over there. Just ten miles. You do something for him. That's in the movies. The pharmacist mate operates, Chief. Me? I've done all I know how for him. You get us out of here. That'll help him. Sure. Real sense. Just get us out of here, Chief. Trim your sails, Chief. We're with you. You think the engines will get us back through those gunboats? What do you expect me to do? Take them apart in the dark. I don't know, Ralph. Hanley's working on them now. Well, officers gone, and you bein' the rank of non-con. I know my responsibilities. Twenty years in this man's navy. I know Navy Reg from one cover to the other. Yeah, Chief. It's just that you're looking at those charts a little funny. I'll worry about that. You go stick needles in some and leave me alone. I gotta think. Okay, Chief. Figure out something nice and safe, will ya? Figure out something nice and safe. Great. Ten miles off the China coast, enemy gunboats, no officers. Me. I gotta take her home. How you doin', Chief? It's you, Padre. How's Mr. Coles? Not too good. Mercifully, he passed out again. Ah, nice kid. Excuse me, sir. I gotta look over these charts. I'm sorry I disturbed you, Chief. I know you're pressed for time if you're gonna hit that mainland and get out by daybreak. Hit the mainland, sir. Chaplain, I got trouble enough trying to get out of this car and back past those gunboats. As bad as he is, Inston Coles has been talking about how important your mission is. Sure, it's important. So, as Inston Coles and the GI we found with you, they need medical attention. What's your orders, Chief? Well, before this mosquito got herself stung, our orders were to pick up two men off Purple Point right here at 2200. At any cost. At any cost. Answered your own question, didn't you, Chief? Well, look, sir, you're asking the questions, not me. All I got is answers. One engine conked out for good, another operating on one of your prayers. Three men dead, two badly injured. Six others who want to get out of here alive. Adds up to a lot more than two guys on a China beach, doesn't it? I got to get us out of this, but well, I'm no navigation expert, sir. Maybe I can help some, Chief. You, sir? Oh, sure you can. Concentrate on saving our souls in case I louse up the jobs of saving our necks. Chaplain might know a little navigation, Chief. Oh, sure, sir, but the kind of navigating you learn in your book we don't need right now. We don't want to go to heaven. We want to get back to the base. It may satisfy you to know, Chief, that I read all sorts of books. Not just my book. I don't mean to be insolent, sir, but the only thing I'm interested in reading right now are our barons. That's not insolent, Chief. Just good sense. Have you lookouts posted? Yes, sir, Andy and Bill. I mean Cox and Boller and Seaman Randall. Shouldn't they be in those gun turrets? Yeah, I wonder where those guys are. I'll find them. You take your bearings, Chief. Hey, you better check that magnetic compass, too. Maybe it got damaged with the radar. You know, for an army chaplain, sir, you sure know a lot about navy talking. Maybe my book has a chapter about the navy, Chief. Cold, wet, hungry, enemy all over the place. Not for crying out loud. It's bad enough without you listing our troubles. I haven't even begun to grab. Wait till I find a brass who got the bright idea for this joyride. Then what are you going to do? Polish his buttons? Shot up, will ya? No officers. Engine shot up. Believe me, if I get out of this mess, I'm going to look out for myself and no one else from now. It's a good idea, fella. Looking out for yourself. Maybe you better start by getting back that lookout post where you belong. Is this the Padre? It's cold out here, Padre. You better get below. It'll be a little tough to get by you two, huddled under ladder there. Oh, we'll move, sir. You bet you'll move. Right now, to those guns. Sir, the guns in those turrets are 50 caliber machine guns, not cannons. We'd be lucky to knock out a rowboat, much less a gunboat. You know, your aim is so good with words, Randall. I'm sure you could hit a searchlight with a machine gun. Searchlight, sir? That's the only weapon we have to fear in this fall, Coxon. Put out the searchlight and we can run. Now get to those turrets. How about that? A chaplain tells us what to do with the guns. And an army chaplain at that. Ah, come on. You heard him. Yeah, I heard him. Now Padre's taking command. Wait till I get back to the base. I'm going to demand an explanation from the brass of this. Listen, chowderhead. You'll never get back to Squawk if you don't get to those guns. What do you suppose he was doing around that water, looking for converts? Hey, you guys! Get to them turrets where you belong! Okay, Skipper. I'll lay off the chief, Andy. He knows what he's doing. Well, let's hope so. Well, he ain't no Skipper and you know it. Well, I'm getting nervous. Nervous? You're behind the times, John. I was nervous before we left the base. You're just plain scared now. How you doing, Mr. Coles? Okay, Padre. How's the chief? Very busy with his charts. Maybe I could help. Maybe I... Maybe not. Now, how's your stomach? Fine. It feels just like the time I ran into a tree skiing in Wisconsin. Ever been skiing in Wisconsin, Padre? I'm a Brooklyn boy, Ensign. We did our skiing with the slats from Broken Boxes. I'd like to ski again sometime. The snow's just beginning to melt in Wisconsin now, Mr. Coles. You'll be home. Ready this ski by the time it falls again. Do you believe that, Padre? It doesn't matter if I believe it, Ensign. Do you believe it? I want to, Padre. I... I want to. He's out again, sir. Yes. Can't you give him something, Ralph? Something that'll keep him out. He's in great pain. I'll try, sir. Chaplain. Yes, Ralph? Handley. He's the helmsman. He told me the chief is thinking of still going into the mainland. Can't you stop him, sir? That GI and the Ensign need help quick. Going into the mainland will only take a couple of hours at most, Ralph. The Ensign and the soldier can hang on. A couple of hours might make a difference, sir. Look, Ralph, I want Ensign Coles and that soldier to make it too. But it doesn't make it any better to complete your job. So other men won't start dying all over again? Yes, sir. Only I hate to look at those guys. They need attention so bad, and I don't know what else to do for them. I just don't know. Do you know how to kneel, Ralph? Kneel? Yes, sir. Search light off the starboard bow. I guess I better start, huh, Padre? Stay with those injured men. See, sir? Starboard beat now. Right down. They're close enough to see a shining light in our eyes. They're close enough to hear us yell. There are no engines, because we don't have one. Here's Hanley. How about a tan? What's the scar on the engines? One definitely out. One definitely okay. And the third patch with bandage from top to bottom. Well, still gives us almost 3,000 horsepower enough to run. We may not have to run, Chief. That light seems to be fading. I think they missed us. Told you it was lucky having a chaplain aboard? Yeah. I don't see my pipe and slippers yet, though. It's a long way out of here. You two guys, shut up, and don't be forgetting the chaplains are major. Get behind them guns. They might miss us. The next one might not. They're the one after that. Like I said before, Coxon, shoot for the searchlights. Shoot before they see us, and before they shoot. The fog's on our side. And the fog works both ways. Without radar, we might run square into one of them gunboats. You just hold onto the thought that we won't, Randall. And if a light comes in range, get it quick. So maybe we get the light, Padre, then what? We run, Randall. Run like the devil. Like the devil, Padre? Like the devil, Randall. And like the devil, we'll smoke. We'll have our smoke screen with the fog. There'll be a lot of confusion. Believe me, they won't know what we are. Amen to that, Padre. Amen. Padre, like I was just telling the chief, it's good to have you aboard. Well, thanks, Hanley. Cut three on. Yes, sir, mighty convenient. If they catch us, you can help us with our last prayers. Ah, let's not worry about our last prayers, Hanley. Prayings do good to have to stop. Guess so, sir. Got one in your book that can start number two engine? Maybe not. Let's hope I have a couple that will keep those other two engines going. As I said before, sir, amen. Ready, Hanley? Ready, chief. I had one third. One third ahead. Steady as she goes. Steady as she goes. Hey, Padre, you sound like a swab. Watch your compass, Hanley. Come to course 264. Aye, aye, sir. Now let's see those bearings again, chief. Yes, sir. I sure hope you know what you're doing. So do I. Why don't you pray for me, chief? That's a switch. Sure, I'll pray, Padre. You got a lot of customers today. Steady on course 264, sir. Very well. Don't let her swing more than two degrees off course. What's that face for, chief? Ah, it's just thinking, chaplain. I should get me a copy of that book you read on the Navy. It's kind of eerie all this fog. I'm not knowing what might pop through at any minute. What do you expect to pop through? Nothing's coming out of that fog but a gunboat. We'll punk a coral so we can get stuck. Whose side are you on? Give us a chance to get through anyway. We're gonna play hero like the chief. Me? A hero? Huh. Don't be nuts. I'm just gonna find myself a hero and hide behind him. Now shut up so I can be scared in peace. Hey, where do you guys think you're cruising off, San Diego? If you'd open your eyes as wide as you do your miles, we might be better off. We're watching, chief. Gotta do something to keep from going crazy in this fog. It's kind of scary. You bet it's scary. Brothers, we shouldn't be afraid. Now look, Andy, I'm Acton Skipper now. Not the Chapman. I've had enough of your ellipse. So sew it up. That's an order. Andy's just jumpy like the rest of his chief. Who isn't jumpy? I am. But I'm man enough to admit I need some help with navigating. And I don't care if I get it from a cook or a chap. What do you want me to do? Throw the pottery overboard? Oh, but he don't know nothing about the Navy. We're getting close to that beach in him. Gunboat patrols will be thicker and so will the coral. You mind telling me something I don't know? Chief, Court bow. Search him out. In real close. 100 yards. Gunboat. Get those guns ready. On the target, both of them. Okay, Chief. Get back with Handley, Chief. And run the minute we open fire. We get that light. Open fire, sir? Shouldn't we wait this one out like we did the other? This one's too close to play possum bowler. On the double, everyone. 80 yards. Same course for the Renser. Till we see what happens. 70 yards, Chapman. They still don't see us. They will soon. Ready? 60 yards. Remember, aim for that search light. Commence firing. Take off, Chief. We got it. The light's out. Close me to hand, Chief. Please, firing. Chapman, look. Three other lights. They were just waiting for us to show our hand. Sure they were, Bill. They're not hitting us now. We're not there. They must be shooting at each other in this fog. Listen to that racket. A lot of stuff flying back there. Yeah, they can't believe a single PT bow started on a list. They think the whole US fleet's in there. Hey, sir, look. There's a hand. More lights. Yeah. Get any of those lights we come close to. Now what, sir? Change course to 194. Change course to 194. Chapman, where are we going? That's south. That's right, Chief. Well, where are we running? We're not running, Chief. We're going in through the Coral to the south, into Purple Point. Coral to the south? Sir, there's no opening to the south. Look at these charts. It's solid right till it's up. Our bottom would be ripped to shreds. I told you there's an opening. Now, give me those bearings. Sir, look, you've held fine. There was an opening, and it'd be on the charts. Intelligence would know about it. Intelligence knows about it, but it isn't on the charts. It's a tricky channel. Narrow, but big enough for a PT boat. It's a tight squeeze. It takes a man who's been through it before. And who do we have who's been through it before? I have. I've been through that before. You, sir? You've been through that, Coral? Eight years ago. Spring of 1943 on the Starfish. Starfish? She was a sub. That's right, Chief. A sub. And I was her skipper. Sir, here's Rutter. Come to course 199. Sub-skipper. You're in the army, a chaplain. Chaplains don't come out of bottles, Chief. Ready to use? We're just people. Hanley, I said to come to course 199. What's the matter with you, Hanley? Come to course 199. You heard the major? Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. I was just putting my eyeballs back in their sockets. We're almost in. Aye, aye, sir. I wouldn't go through the last 30 minutes again for all the tea in China. You wouldn't have to go far to collect your tea, Chief. That's China. About 50 yards more. I'll stop. We're in as far as we can go. I'll stop, sir. In as far as we can go. Brother, I could walk to Shanghai without getting my feet wet. Goodbye, wise guy. What time is it, Chief? In 2145, sir, with 15 minutes early. After all we've been through and we're still 15 minutes early. How polite can you get? Any sign of the signal flashes yet? Nothing, Captain. Hope we don't have to wait too long. Sitting here on the beach in the dark. Come on, you two guys. Wherever you are, blink those lights. They better be the right lights, too. A lot of enemy patrols in those hills. Test if a guy's nerve, Padre. Sitting here, waiting. When you're talking about nerve, Hanley, think about the two guys we're waiting for. Walking around in enemy territory, Lord knows how long. Yeah. You know something, Padre? What then? I'm glad we come in to get them. So am I. There's quite a guy for a chaplain. Got us in here real neat. Yeah. Yeah, he's swell. Got us closer to China than we were. Dry up. Here he comes. No signal yet, Padre? How's the answer? How about the same? Where are those guys? There was only some way we could help them, this waiting stuff. For you, too, Padre? For me, too, Bill. How long we gonna wait, chaplain? Daybreak comes and we're still here, right? Let's hope we're a long way from here by daybreak. How scared can one guy get? Plenty scared, Bill, if I'm any criterion. You, Padre? You scared? Sure I am, Indy. Real scared. I was when the gunboat sank the LST. I was when we ran from that searchlight. I was when we came through that coral and... other than those. I was scared all the time in between. No kidding, Major. You didn't show it. Must be my freckles, Bill. Or the fact I was so busy praying. Yeah, me, too, Padre. I prayed so hard I nearly bit my tongue off. Yeah, I guess I must have bit mine off a long time ago. I don't know how to pray. It's not difficult, Indy. And you don't need your tongue. Prayers are just a lip service to what's in your heart. If that's right, the lip service isn't important. How come you ended up in the Army, sir? You'll be in a Navy man. Well, the Navy was in my heart, Bill, but... well, there's a lot more foot soldiers, aren't there? Yeah. Sir, seriously, what are our chances? I'm not an odds-maker, Randy. You know they could be better. Hopeless, huh? We can't believe that, can we, Indy? Look, in the hills, the signal. Two times on, two off. That's it. Chief! I see it, sir. Henry's gonna flash back. If I look, only holes. Deco's handling, signaling back. Your signal looks like it's coming from the foothills. Shouldn't take long to get here. Tulsa, Oklahoma, here I come. I won't even hate you anymore. Shoot him! Someone else saw the signal. Indy, get on that gun face in the beach. You'll get yourself an automatic rifle. Chief, you and Hanley stand by to get out of here. Look, sir, that's clear into the left. Two men running for the beach. Here they come. Come on, you guys run! You run like the devils, and we'll do the smoking. One of them's here. He's down. The other one will never make it. Carry him. He's gotta make it. Find one in your book with my name on it. I'm going to short again. Hey, Bill, don't be crazy. Where's he gone? He'll carry that wounded man. Cover Bill, Andy. Yes, sir, Padre. I'll cover him. You do the same, huh? That's the way I know how. That's it, Bill. Put the man's square on the other one's back. And even the patrol coming through the clearing. Welcome to Purple Point, you bums! Come on, mister! Whoever you are, carry that bag! Bill's almost made it. Just a few more steps, fella. Come on. Come on. Here they are. I got one of them. I got him, Bill. Chief, you grab the other one. Okay. I got him. Thank God you got him. Okay, Bill. Let's get you aboard now. Good board, Bill. Come on, come here, come. I'm too soon. Here they come. Start the engines. Start the engines. Keep that pair working, Padre. Come on, Bill. He's here. He's going under. Padre, come back here. Come on, Bill. I've got two. Get out of here, Padre. We'll both get out. I got him. Bill. Now you, Padre. All aboard, Chief. Okay, how do I open it up? How do you feel now, Bill? You took a snooze. How's the leg? It's not too bad. Hey. Hey, you're bandaging the Padre. You get hit, sir, because of me? I admit with shame, Bill. I stubbed my toe on the coral. Stubbed. You ripped it wide open. Padre, thanks. You're our hero, Bill. Not me. I'm not the hero type. I just felt like giving my sea legs a run. All through, Padre. You're as good as new. Thanks, Ralph. I think I'll go see the Chief. Yeah. Make sure his faith and his compass are holding out. Don't worry about the Chief. He's a top drawer navigator now. It's funny what little confidence can do. I get so used to them issuing us what we need, but it's different with faith. You got to brew your own. Most faith is home-brewed, Bill. Ship off the port bound! This is where I came in. What is it, Chief? Five left and over there, sir. See? The barbership on the gun, Andy. I think the shooting's over, Chief. That's a destroyer. By God it is. I mean arms. No, Chief. That's just what you mean. By God. Thank God. It's our destroyer. Last of the wounded are aboard the destroyer, Chief. Thanks, Ralph. Well, Padre, I guess it's goodbye for now. Thanks for the ride, Chief. Sorry about the detour. Goodbye, Ralph. Dan, Andy. Goodbye, sir. See you all in church. Maybe even me, Padre. He can use me as a horrible example. You know, I don't think so, Andy. I kind of think you learned the most from this ride. So long. Good luck, sir. Good luck to you. Quite a guy. Yeah, but if the story gets around how an army major, a chaplain brought us through, we'll be the laugh of the fleet. My first guy I hear laughing gets my fist in his face. The major, he was a sailor. So Joey Brown again. You know, when I was a kid back in Ohio long ago, and a shiny jackknife was my never-failing companion, I used to carve my initials in lots of places. Smooth patch on old apple trees, the inviting boards of a neighbor's fence, the stout benches at the ballpark. Yes, I never grew tired of doing this carving, it seemed. Every smooth place was a fresh temptation. I was much older before I realized that the urge that made me and every other kid in the neighborhood do this is a universal urge everyone has to save something of one's self from oblivion. Of course, it takes different forms, but essentially it is a desire to be noticed, recognized, appreciated, thought of some importance, perhaps remembered or even loved. I suppose it's another inkling of immortality. You know, Keops and the other pyramid builders of ancient Egypt 5,000 years ago were moved by something of the same urge. The indecipherable boasts of those ancient kings that you find carved inside can easily be translated for the modern day simply as Kilroy was here. But there's nothing as dead as an old pyramid unless it be the marquee lights of last week's smash hit. As I look back now in my maturity, as every thinking man does, I realize that a man doesn't have to leave a beautiful painting, a bit of sculpture or a great pyramid to be forever remembered. It is prayer that saves a man from being nameless in dark oblivion. It is prayer that makes him longest remembered. For through prayer he carves his name, not in granite that will vanish as dust, but in the loving heart of a everlasting God. Family Theater leaves you again with this thought. The family that prays together stays together. More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of. This was conducted by Harry Zimmerman and was directed for Family Theater by Joseph F. Mansfield. This is Tony LaFranco expressing the wish of Family Theater that the blessing of God may be upon you and your home and inviting you to be with us next week at the same time when Family Theater will present Jimmy Stewart and Gene Kelly in Susie's Prayer Ball. Join us, won't you?